In theory, weddings are a time for celebration, a day where family and friends spruce themselves up to celebrate your public declaration of love. The smallest of babies are dressed to look like tiny cherubs, and the oldest attendants bust out the lipstick and suit coats to pay homage to love.

In emotionally healthy scenarios, a bride would encourage her siblings to dress their best (barring the use of a white dress) for the big day. However, every family has its own context and some rivalries manage to poison the planning around the Big Day.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a bride asked if she's wrong for asking her younger sister to wear something modest to the wedding.

"AITA for asking my sister to wear something modest to my wedding?"

OP kicked off the post by sharing that she's 14 years older than her sister, and the two of them have never been close.

Because of this, her sister isn't in the wedding party.

I (37) am getting married in six months. My little sister (23) asked me about colors the other day, so she could avoid them (she is not in my wedding because we are not close, largely because I was a freshman in high school when she was born). When she did so, I made a request: could she * please * wear something modest to my wedding.

During a recent conversation about the wedding, OP asked her sister to wear something "modest."

When OP's sister asked for clarification on what that meant, OP requested she wear something "past the knees" with longer sleeves.

"She immediately asked what I meant and why because “it’s not like I dress like a slut; I’m not going to show up in a crop top and micro mini.”

I answered the first question: loose fitting, past the knees, preferably with sleeves. She looked at me like I suggested she wear a potato sack. And then she demanded to know exactly how I had “come up with this Satan blessed bullsh*t.” She wouldn’t stop until I cracked.

When OP's sister asked for the reasoning behind such a strict clothing request, OP laid out all of the comparisons the two suffer.

She’s younger. She smaller. She’s prettier. She looks like a god damned model for Nike. We go places, and everyone looks at her. It’s always “Yekatarina is pretty,” “she always looks like a million dollars,” and “I would give anything to look like that for one day.” Last Christmas, I spent two hours getting ready for our family pictures, bought my outfit weeks in advance. She waltzed in 30 minutes before we took them, ran a comb through her hair and grabbed an old dress from her closet. Three guesses who everyone called gorgeous and stunning.

Since the family constantly heaps praise on the younger sister's looks, OP wants to ensure she looks the best at her wedding.

And I told her this, all of it. I said that it’s my wedding day. It’s the one day when I’m supposed to be guaranteed to be the one everyone can’t stop looking at. I said that I just wanted my moment to shine.

OP's sister responded by saying she could cover up completely and it wouldn't matter if OP didn't feel confident on her wedding day.

She laughed a little before saying age wouldn’t. She said that she thinks I’m being ridiculous and she “could come in wearing a sumo suit or burka, and it wouldn’t help if I didn’t think I looked good.”

Now, OP's sister refuses to talk to her about wedding related stuff, and has claimed she'll arrive wearing fishnets if anyone hassles her about it.

"I tried bringing it up twice more, and I even had Mom try. Mom said that Katya got very angry and said if anyone brought it up again, that she was going to wear a stripper outfit and a mosquito net to the wedding. I’ve also been informed that she’s increased her workouts by half-an-hour. She refuses to speak to me about anything regarding the wedding now."

OP feels it was within her rights to dictate her sister's clothing in this way, but now she's having second thoughts.

"I thought I was within my rights as the bride to want to be the center of attention on my wedding day, but now I am questioning myself. AITA?"

KaraAuden thinks OP needs to seek therapy for her obvious self esteem issues.

"YTA. The issue isn't that you want her to dress modestly -- the issue is that you have a problem with how she looks and you want to make sure you're prettier than her. And bringing up her workouts is beyond odd -- how is her working out an extra 30 minutes a problem to you?"

"I suggest you see a therapist for your body image issues and stop taking it out on your sister."

orangevelociraptor thinks OP should channel her bitterness into self-care.

"I just don't understand how petty you have to be to complain about someone else working out. The fact that upping her workouts pissed OP off shows how shallow she is. OP maybe take some of that resentment and channel it into your own workouts?"

"I also have beautiful sisters. Both are thinner than me, both workout more. It never occurred to me to compare myself to them on my wedding day. If anything I'm just proud to share genes with them and at least I know how good I could look if I put the effort in that they do. Don't get me wrong- sometimes it does sting a little to be the least attractive sister but we all have areas we shine in."

gopher-hopper5123 pointed out that beauty isn't a linear, measurable trait.

"YTA to yourself and to your sister for projecting your insecurities

As the bride, you need to feel beautiful and beauty isn’t something that’s comparable between people. On your wedding day you will have a room full of people who are there to celebrate you, your soon to be spouse and your relationship. I am sure you will be beautiful and radiant with joy."

"Also, asking her to wear long sleeves and a long and loose dress- it does kind of sound like a potato sack (I’m sure she could find something pretty, but still... ) Why do you need her to look uncomfortable for you to feel nice? It’s okay to have insecurities but you really need to talk this out with your sister more"

WeFightForever pointed out that OP's sister was technically right about the dress.

"YTA. You basically did ask her to wear a sack as far as dresses go. A loose fitting dress that is fancy enough for a wedding doesn't really exist. You can't tell your sister to dress in a shitty dress because she might look too hot."

Zauberspruch pointed out how unfair this all is to the younger sister.

"YTA. Bridezilla, hold up a mirror. You'll see yourself."

She asked you what colors she could wear so she didn't clash with the wedding party and you went off on a rant about how it's not fair that she's prettier and you want everyone to focus on you you you.

Find someone to do you makeup. Find a kick-ass dress. Enjoy your wedding. Then go to therapy about your clear issues with your sister and your issues with your appearance."

At the end of the day, it sounds like the bride is going to need some serious therapy to work on her self-esteem issues, as well as her relationship with her younger sister. Hopefully, they can work through this and find a healthy common ground.

One of the hardest parts about being an adult is gaining the clarity to see your parent's faults. Everyone is fallible, even the most loving of families, but when you add a dose of ignorance to the mix it can make adult relationships extra trying.

Navigating differences in perspective can be particularly challenging when your parents don't approve of or understand your partner. In a perfect world, no one would have to choose between their partner and their family, but that is sadly not the reality.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for excluding her parents from her upcoming wedding due to their mistreatment of her fiance.

"AITA for telling my parents they won't be invited to my wedding?"

OP and her fiance have been dealing with conflict with her parents for over a year now.

My fiance and I have been dealing with a conflict with my parents for just over a year now. My fiance is on the Autism Spectrum, so sometimes has difficulty with social etiquette, relationships, body language etc. My family has been aware of this for years, even before we started dating.

Her fiance is on the Autism Spectrum and her parents know that, but its still caused tension due to differences in socializing styles.

They take a lot of issue with him, even back when we were in high school. Him and my dad argued about the name of a restaurant and my dad called him an arrogant *sshole for insisting he was wrong.

Recently, OP's fiance got into a discussion with her dad about a book.

OP's dad misinterpreted the tone of the discussion and launched into a yelling rant where he called OP's fiance the r-word.

More recently, an incident occurs where my fiance tries to have a discussion with my parents about a book that his mom (who is a parenting author) just released. My dad felt offended by this and thought that my fiance meant they were no good at parenting. He went on to yell at the both of us, swearing and calling my fiance names including "retard" (which he took offense to given his diagnosis. My father knows this)

Rather than apologizing for using the slur, OP's parents sent a flurry of manipulative follow-up texts demanding she "move on from it."

They both sort of didn't address it again but we asked for an apology. We did not receive it. Rather, we got several texts that were aggressive in nature from my dad, and guilt-trippy messages from my mom to just move on from it.

To add to the tension, a few weeks ago OP's sister posted a picture with a friend's baby and OP's fiance made a joke that was badly received.

A few weeks ago, my sister made a post on social media holding her friend's baby. My fiance commented jokingly "Is it yours". Now, I know it was a joke and sometimes he doesn't understand that jokes can have "wrong" audiences and jokes can be badly timed. My parents didn't give him that grace and sent us messages about how his behavior seems to be reckless and potentially dangerous and the comment was shameful.

OP's parents then doubled down and said they don't approve of the engagement, and went on to insult OP's fiance over text.

"My mom's message said they did not give their blessing for my engagement. My father's text said the same thing but also included "Are you really trying to tell me that boy/man with all his mental deficiencies is really good for your life??? That's a tough sell my dear."

Rather than engaging with the insults, OP told her parents they are no longer invited to the wedding.

"I chose not to respond because I felt like it was aggressive. Today I sent a message to my mother to convey my thoughts and make some things clear to her. In it I said that if they didn't give their blessing, they shouldn't expect an invitation to our wedding."

However, OP's sister thinks she should invite them nonetheless because "family is family."

"In some ways I feel unsure about this. My sister recently told me that I'm being disrespectful to them and I should be grateful that they gave me a great life. I know the whole saying "family is family" but I can't help but wonder, where's the line? When is it ok to say NO, you won't put up with it anymore?

AITA for saying they won't be invited?"

PT_Scoops thinks OP's emotionally abusive dad is the only one in the picture who doesn't understand social cues.

"NTA seems as though your father has more difficulty with social situations than your fiance. On top of that, his demeaning and aggressive behavior probably is having a negative effect on your fiance as a whole. I wouldn't invite them either. It's your wedding, and while it may likely stain your social standing, no matter how "good" a life you've been given, there is zero justification for abuse."

"You are adults, you deserve to be treated with respect. I'd suggest trying to have a genuine back and forth about it, but it looks as though you've already tried."

Psykopatate thinks the narrative of "family is family" excuses toxic behavior far too often.

"NTA. It looks like the ones with social norms and communication issues are your parents.

There's no "family is family", it's an excuse to allow toxic members of it to continue their wrongdoings. The limit is as soon as someone fucks up.

Edit: yeah his joke is good, my brain farted"

KingDeeDeeMain thinks it would be horrific to have the parents at the wedding, given their past beratement.

"THE LINE IS FAR CROSSED. NTA your parents have been berating him on the fact that he is on the autism scale plain and simple. They seem stuck up from what you've written and you have no obligation to invite them to your wedding. Idk if the groom would even be comfortable with it either if they came."

Colonel_Khazlik thinks adding alcohol and a wedding setting to the mix would be lethal.

"NTA. Consider what a f*cking train wreck they'd be if they went to the wedding. If you think you can trust them to be civil consider inviting them, but all that anger combined with a little alcohol would lead to nothing but hassle.

You're the bride right? The only one that really matters at a wedding."

Crogg88 thinks everyone should try to be more understanding in the situation.

"ESH. Your parents don’t understand autism and are obviously basing your boyfriend off people without it but they are trying to protect you. Like parents should. I know you don’t need protected from him and he isn’t doing it on purpose (I’ve got two autistic brothers) but I think you should take the time to teach your parents about autism and why he doesn’t usually think like them."

"I’m glad you’re sticking around your boyfriend and I wish you a happy marriage. If your parents are just assholes and just don’t like autistic drop them like a hot turd. But I think they are just confused. Your dad also seems to have some sort of grudge against your boyfriend but you should tell him to not escalate the situation (my brothers do it) and turn it into an argument. Sorry if you think I’m basing your boyfriend off my brothers just trying to help."

OP responded to the comment, giving more clarification about her relationship with her parents.

"Thank you for your reply, and thank you for sharing your personal experience with the diagnosis."

"Just for some additional information: my parents do not take advice or education well, because they seem (I can't verify because they haven't specifically said it) to think that because they are older, they must be correct. They did not respond to the book well when my fiance and I wanted to chat about mental health and disabilities and how it pertained to the book, because they felt like it was an attack and as my dad said "Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?"

I have encouraged them several times to look into autism and how it can affect different people, but they do not seem interested in the slightest.

"They acted the same way throughout my childhood with my mental health issues. I struggled a great deal growing up with anxiety and depression and my parents would never discuss it with me or get me to therapy or anything. Their responses were "Oh come on, life's not that bad kiddo" (my dad) and (as I was having a panic attack before a shift) "Let's go clemthecat get your uniform on, you're going to be late!" (My mom)

So, I do not think they do their research, nor do they feel inclined to."

quietre thinks it's important to draw the boundary now.

"NTA. They disrespected you and clearly show no intentions of respecting your fiancé. Not only do they exhibit aggressive behavior and disrespect, but a severe lack of empathy. They should want to get to know your fiancé and your relationship and be happy for you (seeing as there was really nothing causing the issues here other than petty arguments)."

It seems like your parents are trying to control how you react to this (by guilt-tripping and aggression) and they’re behaving more dramatically because you won’t entertain it. Good for you for sticking by your fiancé in my opinion.

And you don’t owe your parents anything for them giving you a “good life.” Where is that treatment now?"

Hopefully, OP's parents are able to grow past their current mode of self-absorption and ableism. If not, the whole relationship may need to get cut off.

Everyone who has traveled has a story about dealing with cranky TSA agents and disgruntled airport workers. But you'd be cranky and disgruntled too if you worked in an airport, especially if your job was to screen people's bags and deal with the bizarre, gross, illegal sh*t people attempt to bring on airplanes. Someone recently asked Reddit: "people who look at the x-rayed baggage in airports what’s the most disturbing thing you have found?"

These 19 stories from airport workers sharing the weird and disturbing things they've found in passengers' bags will make you think twice before complaining about the TSA:

1.) From MooKids:

Didn't even need an x-ray, it was in plain sight.

Working a baggage pier in the sorter, coworker drops off an odd sized item, looked like a regular folding table at first in one of our clear plastic bags. Coworker tells me it is an S&M table. Being the new guy, I thought he was messing with me, but then I looked closer. It was a folding table, but on one side was a T-shaped item labeled "The Jackhammer" down the side. On the other side of the table were some silver handcuffs. So it was an S&M table. Was going to Ohio.

2.) From SatansSlutz:

I worked in left luggage/lost property in an airport and we found some... Weird things. We had to take all the bags over to be scanned if they were found or handed into us. People had a month to call us or collect or it was donated to charity or disposed of. Here's some I can remember: Samurai swords, a backpack full of live crabs, a suitcase filled entirely of empty monster energy cans, I'm talking maybe 30 cans, a bag of reborn baby dolls, a LOT of mouldy food, a LOT of large knives, weird looking sex toys, people's ashes, like how do you carry the ashes of your loved one and leave the bag in the airport? I used to love the days where we got to sort through out of date stuff because we'd see who found the weirdest thing! Sometimes you would come across a bag that just didn't make sense that had like a towel, underwear and then completely random items that you wouldn't travel with! The shit people try and get on a plane with is absolutely crazy, we had a lot of 'campers' and 'explorers' who tried to use that as an excuse to take their machetes on board with them!

Edit: I just remembered that we once had a mummified cat found in an abandoned suitcase

3.) From DreadDuckie:

The only thing that was there was 7 dildos and a scissor

4.) From Reddit-User-3000:

I’ve seen videos of them finding weird stuff and once they found a dead premature baby goat preserved in liquid.

5.) From kodylee:

Not the airport but coming onto a military base overseas was running the X-ray machine at the walk-in gate. Seen a very tiny chick come in wearing a grossly oversized backpack and she had an odd expression on her face like she was uncomfortable. So, naturally I chose her as my random bag check for the group. Ran the bag through the x-ray machine and let me tell you she had this giant back pack stuffed as tightly as she could with what only looked like nothing but huge dildos. I never seen a woman turn as red and as fast as this woman did.

6.) From PostoftheCentury:

Lots of loaded fire arms, weapons really. You'd be amazed at how many people try to fly with guns and use the excuse "I didn't know I had one in my bag." Tasers, batons, switchblades, you name it. Runner up three sculpted rubber vaginas/lower torsos with the liquid still on them in Ziploc bags. The guy was bringing his girlfriends to Hawaii I guess and didn't feel like cleaning them. Third place is a bag full of cockroaches skittering among regular clothes with crumbs everywhere. The guy kept them as pets.

7.) From ldsbatman:

Finding adult toys was always a bit yuck. Especially if nasty. Owners varied from young adults to old folks. (I don't care what consenting adults do. I still don't like handling their toys.)

Had a bleeding deer head once. Was not allowed into the x-ray.

Nothing like having your gloves start melting while searching a bag.

Found vials of DNA stripper in a bag once. Nice big warnings, "DO NOT INHALE, DO NOT GET ON SKIN, WILL CAUSE CANCER, MAY CAUSE DEATH. Airline loved having to find a disposal company that would come get that stuff.

Rotten meat on occasion.

8.) From nrh1021:

A live dog moving around. The passenger sent her little dog through the X-ray, in its carrying case.

9.) From Smoothynobutt:

Not really weird, but a guy came through with legit gold bars. He was Asian and mentioned they had been in his family for a very long time. They were completely black on the X-ray, and he asked for a private screening I was the one who checked out the bag. I don’t remember how much they were, but it was kinda cool since I’d never seen real solid gold bars before. In the 4 years I was TSA, I never once found a gun. I probably wasn’t a very good agent.

10.) From Soundsfast:

On border patrol someone had like cured snakes in juice in mason jars. They made it weird and gross enough so officers wouldn’t further inspect. Turns out there was lots of heroin stuffed in them.

11.) From bradygrunch:

I saw a body once,it was wrapped in plastic,the person had died and they did not want to pay to fly it

12.) From SatansSlutz:

A family tried to smuggle their dead father through our airport, they pushed him through in a wheelchair and pretended he was asleep. They didn't want to pay extra to have him flown home.

13.) From YBDum:

My mother was flying to visit my sister in another state. TSA took my moms bag out of the x-ray machine. He was shaking as he opened my mothers bag. I thought he was going to pass out. The agent asked her if she knew there were chopped up baby parts in her luggage. My mother smiled sweetly and said "Yes. why do you ask?" An alarm must have been set off because there were now a dozen airport police surrounding her, and looking at the fleshy limbs. At the time, she was making life sized, anatomically correct baby dolls. My sister was going to help her assemble them. TSA was not amused.

14.) From CakeyPlayz123:

A child being smuggled into the country

15.) From maskedkiller215:

In BC here. A guy went hunting, decided to kill a mountain lion, dismembered it, stuffed it in 2 coolers. One cooler had the head that he brought on for carry-on (where i was) and he checked the body under the plain.

At first, I had no idea what it was when it showed up on screen. It honestly looked like a turkey, but nope. I was about to send it for a search when the guy leaned over and told me what it was. No ice, wasn't frozen, just the head decomposing. Apparently its good meat according to him. It was cool and disturbing at the same time. I could see the brain, it's eyes, it's bones. It was........ yea.

16.) From brotherbobby420:

A 24 inch dildo we thought it was a baseball bat but then we pulled it out if his bag

17.) From Cloverhen1:

Oh look. A topic for me. I worked for TSA both on the checkpoint and in checked baggage. I have stories upon stories. Ranging from a 5 gallon bucket filled with live eels - a small rocket engine filled with kerosine - a lady claiming she had a medical need for a giant bottle of draino - finding fentanyl concealed in a bag. Much more but I don't have the time to write too much out right now.

The absolute scariest one I encountered was a huge firework mortar. (which is SCARY if you know how to interpret images.) My heart fell into my gut and I about puked. Even slamming the breaks on the scanner I struggled to find my voice to call over the radio. I felt this way every time I found something of such a large potential threat. In my two year stint with TSA I personally found 8 loaded handguns and one disassembled rifle hidden in hair styling tools. I'm happy to be out of there now. I took my position seriously so it was very stressful to constantly bear that responsibility. Like... what if I hadn't found that rifle? His wife had ammunition found in her bag.

18.) From pirateapproved:

I was a dildo salesman for a time. I travelled a lot, and would have like 10 dildos on me at a time. I used to love going through security, and watching the look on security’s face when they’d get to my bag.

19.) From PapaHerbert:

A tumor. Poor bag 😔

Dads telling their kids "don't tell mom!" is a common trope in movies and sitcoms, often used to illustrate that dads are fun, zany rule-breakers while moms are uptight rule-enforcers. Womp womp. It's tired and sexist and, well, sometimes true. Probably because a lot of rules are there for a reason—to keep kids safe and to prevent all Hell from breaking loose.

Someone recently asked dads of Reddit to share their "don't tell mom!" stories and plenty of dads (and a few non-dads) had stories to share about times they made their kids keep a secret from their mom. I have compiled the 17 best examples—don't tell mom!

1.) From Nataliewassmart:

I'm the son in this story, but one time when I was like 14-15, we had a family party at my aunt's house down the street. Eventually, the party just died down, and all the families started to go home. My dad decided to stay, and I asked if I could stay with him. Eventually, it was just my uncles and my dad drinking and telling stories at 2am while I just sat and listened to them. It was the first time that I could remember "staying up with the adults." It was a cool moment.

Anyways, my dad got too drunk to drive us home, and no one else was there. We could have spent the night, but then my dad was like, "No, I know your aunt has bicycles in the garage. We should just ride bikes home. It'll take 10 minutes tops."

So my dad and I rode bikes home, but my dad took a detour at an old park near my house. We started doing wheelies and donuts with our bicycles on the giant grass field (Well, at least we tried. My dad was pretty drunk, so we were having a fun time falling over, basically).

We finally get home at 3am in the morning and we're covered in mud and grass. My dad looks over at me and whispers, "OK, we have to be quiet sneaking back in. Don't tell mom what we did. She's going to be pissed if she finds out we rode bikes while I was drunk." Then he proceeded to knock on the door, and when my mom answered the door, he proceeded to tell her with glee exactly what he told me not to tell her. My mom was indeed pissed.

2.) From sibre2001:

That the reason the police and the fire department came to our neighborhood was because we were shooting off fireworks before the wife got home.

3.) From drinking-beer:

When my youngest daughter was about 7, she would help me wash my motorcycle in the garage. She would throw on my helmet and jump on the back and just sit there as I would polish the chrome. One day, I turned on the bike and took her on a quick ride down the alley. I went about 5 houses down and turned back. Our top speed was a neck-breaking 4mph. She absolutely loved it. We made it our secret. And I had her change clothes immediately so her mom wouldn't smell the exhaust. We finally told her mom when my daughter turned about 13. She's now 18 and still jumps on the back as often as possible.

4.) From sargearts:

My dad and I were driving on the road at night, after my mom had specifically said I wasn't allowed to. When we pulled up to the street before my house, we switched drivers so it looked like he drove home. When doing that he slipped and fell and cut his head open and had to get stitches down his forehead. My mom still thinks it was from a thorn bush in our front yard.

5.) From bigredcar:

My 15 year old son loved cars and learned to drive on our farm when he was 11. His crazy uncle car nut loved that he loved cars and gave him a racing driving class as a christmas gift. I spent a few months prepping him in my sports car and at the go kart track and then took him to the Nascar race track for the class, even though he had never driven on the street. He did great in the little formula car, getting up to 180 on the straightaway but towards the end, coming out of a chicane he missed a shift and accidentally put it in first. This locked up the rear and he spun out, going into a chain link fence backwards. All I saw was the dust cloud but he was ok, thanks to roll bar, neck brace, and helmet. We spent a good part of the drive home rehearsing what to tell my wife and how not to use the word "crash". We told her after he finished college.

6.) From Brantelope:

Whenever my mom would leave town for work my dad would tell me and my sisters it was “make up your vegetables” night, and we got have pizza for dinner as long as we told my mom we had vegetables while she was away. We got busted when each of us answered with a different vegetable than the others did.

7.) From RonSwansonsOldMan:

When my son was in junior high, McDonald's had an every afternoon special of cheeseburgers for 49 cents. We stopped on the way home from school every day.

8.) From sam_neil:

I had a kinda rocky relationship with my dad when I was a teenager. We lived in the east village in NYC.

When the 2003 blackout happened, we spent the evening up on our roof talking for hours. What started off as a little bit of wine ended up being us polishing off about 3 bottles hashing out what our issues were. Our relationship really improved after that, but I still remember the moment we both realized that my mom (who was out of town at the time) would be pissed if she realized we had gone through that much wine.

We concocted a story that he had accidentally dropped a bag that had two bottles in it. As far as I know she never suspected a thing.

9.) From Astramancer_:

My dad took me and my brother to see Timecop when I was 12.

Nobody in the house was allowed to see rated R movies, but in retrospect, my dad must have gone out to the movies in secret a lot when he was on the road (made sales calls, territory was the whole state).

10.) From Scnewbie08:

My spouse pulled my daughter out of school, took her to see End Game and then drove her back just before buses left so she’d be on the bus. I didn’t find out till months later.

I was fake mad, but proud.

11.) From AM1N0L:

When my Dads favorite toaster broke he insisted on fixing it, again. While my Mom really wanted him to just replace it, they had a small argument about it. Not a fight, just a back and forth about it while my Dads got this Toaster broken down into its base components. Mom leaves to run some errands and about an hour later my Dads got the Toaster back together and he's gonna test it.

He plugs it in, pops in some bread, and pushes the lever down. Nothing happens initially and he's like, weaving his head back and forth trying to see down inside it to see if its working. Then a nice fat electric arc comes out of the outlet and the Toasters turns into a fireball on the counter. My Dad yells FUCK!, yanks it out of the outlet and runs with it, still engulfed in flames, out to the back yard and from the steps hurls it towards our above ground pool.

The pool of course is much too far away and it just lands in the grass, setting the lawn on fire. Now he's unfurling the garden hose and trying to get the dinky little sprinkler head off it so he put out the fire, it doesn't go well. So he runs over to the burning toaster, kicks it towards the pool (in just his socks mind you), then scoops water out of the pool until its just smoldering. Then he runs over and stamps the little fires out of the grass.

He singed his beard, most of the hair off his arms and stinks of burnt hair. His socks are ruined, the kind that go up over your calf, white with stripes, and he's soaked pretty much head to toe. The house stinks of ozone and melted plastic. The outlet is charred. theres a black patch on the backyard lawn. This man scrambles, cleans the kitchen, opens every window to air out the house, sweeps and mops, swaps the outlet for one from the garage, resets the breakers, parks the lawnmower on the scorched grass, trims the burned hair out of his beard, showers and disposes of his burned and grass stained socks, and whats left of the toaster. Then he puts me in his truck, we go to KMart and grab a new toaster and I of course am sworn to secrecy.

I never told my Mom, but he passed four years ago so I think I'll tell her the next time I see her. She'll have a laugh I'm sure.

12.) From Svuroo:

Not my story but I have to share because it's so good.

My friend (mom) had told the kids no more toys. You have enough, you've been awful, wait for whatever holiday. They go off with dad. When they come home, the oldest rushes in to show mom his new stuffed animal.

She looks pointedly at dad but asks the kid "Oh, where'd you get that?"

The kid clearly realizes he wasn't supposed to tell mom and his tiny brain tries to come up with an answer that doesn't sellout the guy who just bought him the toy.

"I made it!"

Kids aren't smart.

13.) From galaxy1985:

I have a kinda Dad story. It involves my Dad's best friend and former employee at that time. My dad built this custom bird house specifically for Purple Martins because my mom loves birds. So he builds a custom house and then hoists it like 25 feet in the air. It looks like a two story colonial house and is about 3 feet on each side and 4 feet tall. It is beautiful.

So my parents went out of town and my older brother and I decided to do shrooms and light off fireworks. We come up with this brilliant plan to see if either of us can aim Roman candles and shoot the flaming balls into the bird house holes.

So yeah, we have surprisingly great aim. The bird house ended up catching on fire and I had to haul ass to get the hose back there so we could put it out before his labor of love burns down. The next day we're surveying the damage and it's not good. The whole front of this bird house was crispy and charred.

So my brother calls my dad's friend, I'll call him Jerry, and tells him what happened because we needed a ladder fast. Jerry being the champ that he is, laughs and decides to show some pity and helps us come up with a plan. He brought over his work van and we stood a big ass ladder on top of the roof of the van. We bought paint and I held the ladder steady while my brother touched up the bird house.

Jerry never said a word to my parents and neither did we. Through wind, rain, snow and sun our paint held up. Until about fifteen years later my brother and I finally told them what happened. I swear I could see pride in my dad's eyes.

14.) From Bainlyn:

Not a father, but....

My dad was explaining to my brother and I how serious gun safety is. Using his M1911 for demonstrative purposes. "Now, always remove the magazine." Doesn't remove the magazine"Check the mag well and the chamber." Does neither of those things"After that you can let the hammer down gently, or pull the trigger." Pulls the trigger This would have been funny if we were on the range. Nah, we were in a small basement room-- with zero ear protection. Ears ringing, a clean bullet hole through six inches of an oak TV stand, and a dog shitting while running away. He calmly looked at us, and said only this. "Please don't tell your mother, I just bought this gun."

15.) From LiveShowOneNightOnly:

I often take one of my kids with me when running errands on Saturdays, each one gets a turn. We always stop for some sugary drinks and a candy bar along the way, but mom would definitely disapprove. I make sure to get agreement that "it must be all gone" by the time we get home. No evidence, no crime. In reality the kid usually overdoses on sugar to the point of struggling on that last bite, but they do it because we had an agreement. We get home and they aren't talking because --uggg--. So far mom has not connected the dots.

16.) From bodhasattva:

(with my dad)

Driving down the street we saw this group of people on the side of the road, clearly about to fist fight.

My dad flips around, and pulls up just in time to see these 2 guys start fighting. One of them got the absolute shit beat out of him. The other guy started stopping on his head when he was unconscious. It was horrific to watch and for all we know he died and I just witnessed a murder.

We flip around and drive home.

Dad says "dont tell your mom about that"

17.) From landob:

When I was dating the woman whom is currently my wife. Myself her, and her daughters took a trip to my cousin's wedding. He stayed home because he had to work. I left my keys and my car a Dodge Challenger SRT8.

When we got back when I looked at my car, nothing actually stood out as anything wrong but I had this odd gloomy feeling, it was like the car was looking at me sadly.

When I got in my car to go home the windshield heat deflector was on backwards. And my dash cam wasn't in exactly the same spot. I looked at the footage. Her son took the car for a small joyride. He didn't do anything crazy, just drove it around the neighborhood at slow speed. I don't think he knew the dash cam was there because it sits right behind the rearview mirror. If you dont take that heat shield down exactly right you can hit it. I think when he took it down he hit the camera but it didn't fall down right away. It fell while he was driving. CAuse you can see it fall and start swinging back and forth and you hear him go "oh shit" We ended up having a man to man chat about it. We agreed to not bring mom in on it and it just be between us. But I'm holding on to it and the footage for a rainy day someday. just for giggles during a family get together when he gets married or something and watch his mom give a grown man a spanking.

Joker is the number 1 movie in the country right now. This latest take on the Gotham City bad boy stars Joaquin Phoenix as an emotionally troubled comedian turned violent criminal. If you've seen Joker or any of its predecessors, these memes will tickle your funny bone and likely inspire your upcoming Halloween costume.

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Is reality television real and are game shows all just staged fun and games?! These prompt questions have sparked many passionate discussions between truthers who believe everything on TV is fake, and those who want to believe in the drama.

The answers tend to lie somewhere in the middle - most reality TV shows don't have the definitive scripting of a fictionalized drama, but they rarely score high ratings exclusively from organic footage.

In a recent Reddit thread, people who have been on reality TV shared what was real and what was fake, and it's a real mixed bag depending on the show.

1. one5low7's buddy had an authentic "Price is Right" experience.

"My buddy won the showcase thing on price is right, pretty straight up from what he said. Bob Barker days."

2. MaterialImportance wasn't "crazy" enough for television.

"I have already posted this from an alt account long time ago.

I auditioned for Wipeout. They were only interested in people that acted literally insane

"Are you ready to go crazy?!?"

"IM ALREADY HEARING VOICES!!!!"

"You're hired"

3. BranWafr's friend knows all about the frankenstein editing on "Big Brother."

"I am friends with a former Big Brother contestant. My daughter interviewed her for a class project and this subject came up in the interview. She mentioned a specific incident where they took footage from a conversation 2 days prior and inserted it in to the middle of another conversation to play up the romance angle."

"(During a competition something happened and they had to pause the competition and fix a problem that was causing them to fall behind. She made a comment like "God wants this for me", nothing big. 2 Days later she asked the guy she had been partnered with for a shoulder/neck massage, because he had promised her one if they had won the competition. In the TV broadcast they spliced in her "God wants this for me" comment to make it sound like she believed they were destined to be a couple."

"She said there were lots of incidents like this, where they mix and match different conversations to push the story they are building for each of the contestants."

4. Benderbluss knows that producers will create a villain if needed.

"Cracked.com had an interview with kids that were on a reality show (back when Cracked was good). The concept was that the kids ran a town with no adults around. All the kids started swearing with less adult supervision."

"When the producers decided which kid they wanted the audience to hate, they played his normal speech with the swears bleeped. For the other kids they carefully edited around the swearing. So to the audience, most of the kids were being polite except for this one jerk who swore a lot."

5. Tsujimoto3 knows firsthand that "Double Dare" was real.

"I was on Double Dare in 1986 when Nickelodeon was still based in Philadelphia. There was really was not much editing going on. If I remember right, they were shooting four episodes a day, so it was pretty fast paced. We got an intro in the ready room, and then it was mostly live. We even did the commercial breaks like it was live. My team won the episode and got to the obstacle course, and we were already blown out by the time it started. If you watch the video, you can see Marc Summers drag me through a couple obstacles. It was an amazing blur. And no, we didn’t get the trip to Disneyworld. I think we only finished 6 of 8."

"If you want to watch the episode, here’s the link. I’m the David with the strawberry blonde hair.

Raiders Vs Dynamics"

6. Fronkey776 truly did have to fight for their survival.

"I was on ‘Naked and Afraid’. You are in a real survival situation while out there, but not as far out as you’d think. We could hear trucks drive by occasionally. The production crew was really great and there wasn’t any bullshit happening where they fabricated things either. If stuff happened and they didn’t get it on film we would have to reenact it so they had footage for the show."

7. LeafsOrks knows the tea on "Big Brother."

"I heard from a Big Brother contestant that there is a clause in the contract that they can be sued if they speak about production and what goes on in the diary room. That should be a tell that production does influence the game/edit it the way they want."

8. Everilda had to look sadder for a documentary.

"My husband and I were on a documentary about how communication has changed over the years for people in the military. Being able to talk to spouses and such. One part they were interviewing me and apparently I didn't look sad enough so they told me to think of him being gone, etc, and to stare off in the distance. We did this 3 times."

9. Roving_Rhythmatist wants more intel on the producer who makes people cry for a living.

"I was at a party with a lady who did makeup for a reality show. She told us about a guy whose job it was to make contestants cry. He would get told who needed to cry then go talk to them for a little while and by the time he was walking away the contestant would be in tears."

"I'm guessing he was a producer who had a specialty but I've often wondered if there is a secret profession dedicated to making TV contestants cry, like a Cooler but for crying."

10. According to jreitz22's teacher, "House Hunters" is fake.

"My teacher was put on one of those house hunter shows. He told us that he picked out his house beforehand and they then pretended to show him 2 other houses, so the whole thing is bs."

11. RaChernobyl can attest to how mean Judge Judy really is.

"I was on judge Judy in 2006. I was the defendant."

"JJ really is as mean as she appears, she's also much shorter than you think. Before they tape your episode they have some assistant run between the plaintiff and defendants green rooms saying "oh they just said this about you!" in an effort to amp you up before you tape your episode. The set is very small."

"When my episode aired, they had chopped it up quite a bit. There were times JJ asked me a question that I answered while there, but what aired was just a shot of me standing there looking like a moron that had no answer. It was definitely designed to make me look worse than it was."

"But, I got a free 5 day vacation, $1000 in cash, and the show paid the judgement ($3500). So I figure I made about $7000 to make a somewhat ass out of myself on t.v. for 11 minutes.

Would do again.

Footnote: that night after taping, we got drunk in the viper room, found JJs star on the walk of fame and peed on it."

12. PolecatEZ worked as a consultant for a very cringe inducing episode of a Netflix series.

We were consultants for a Netflix series about how technology has changed relationships and dating. The topic was cam models. They wanted to do an episode where a cam model went to meet their client in real life, which is something so insanely rare I'd never heard of it happening in 10 years in the biz, save for Eastern Europeans or Filipinos that go camming specifically to meet foreign husbands or scam foreign men.

Your run-of-the-mill cam girl is doing that job specifically to avoid physical contact with clients or having them intrude on their real life at all. Her camming persona is nothing like her real life in most cases, leaving out the sticky bits like family and day jobs. The big sites for cam modeling are not dating sites.

We kept telling the producers they were barking up the wrong tree and really missing an opportunity to tell very different (and real) stories vs. the concocted bullshit you see on "Hot Girls Wanted" and such. They wanted to show the reality of how tech has changed dating, and they were inventing a non-story out of whole cloth to do so. Grudgingly we put out a casting call to about 4000 cam models and nobody bit despite the money being offered. I thought that was the end of it.

"About a year later, the episode finally came out and it was about as lame and cringeworthy as expected. They managed to find a part-time cam model that had an Australian client (I think, some non-American English speaking country). They ordered her not to tell him she was already married and flew her out for a date with him that of course ended awfully. They set that poor schlub up for some major failure so they could get the tears."

13. NeillDrake had to revamp his personality to get cast on "Master Chef."

"I was cast for Master Chef and during the interview they asked me what I thought of Gordon Ramsey.

During the auditions we were on camera and was like "That dude is awesome. He's speaks his mind. Doesn't take shit!"

"CUT!!!!" "We think it would be easier to sell you to the final casting directors if you were really aggressive. Say things like if he gets in your face, you'll put him in his place. Say things like you think he's all talk and you're not scared of him"

So I did.

Then they asked how I would get along with everyone in the house...

"Well, I'm pretty chill...I get along with everyone. I'm just here to show off my cooking skills. No drama"

"CUT!!!!"

"We also think we could spin you as the Playboy in the house. Say stuff like you're going to swoon all the ladies to get them on your side and then sabotage their food. Say you're not here to make friends. You're here to win"

So I did

Not one word that went to the casting director was my own. I was cast. I didn't win."

14. Broian found out the "Real World" is fake.

"We visited a friend on the set of the real world. It was the same weekend parents of one of the other housemates were there and the producers tried to start beef between the two housemates over us staying in the house and her parents being in a hotel."

"We were sleeping on the floor in her room. When we would talk to her about how the show was going she said it was really boring most of the time unless they staged an event."

15. hawkcarhawk's friend was surprised by Cash Cab.

"My friend was on an episode of Cash Cab (NYC). He said that he had answered a Craigslist ad about being on a game show. He emailed back and forth with a producer and the concept was very vague. They told him they were sending a car to pick him up for the interview and it turned out to be the Cash Cab - so it wasn’t totally random but he was surprised. It was mostly real but they had him reenact some answers and reactions."

16. tn_notahick pitched to a court show.

"Even deeper: There are people who actually pitch ideas to the court type shows. Even judge Judy. A friend of mine had an idea for a father/son case and asked my son and me to be the parties."

"We agreed that the dude would get 15% of everything, and my son and I would share the rest, no matter who won. See, both parties are paid to be on the show, and whatever judgement is paid by the show. I was "suing" him for the value of an expensive gaming computer I bought for him, and then he sold it for drugs."

"None of it was remotely true, and I was supposed to be the asshole controlling dad, and him the loser drug addict teenager. The script was actually very good. He was actually a straight A student and we had a great relationship. This was for a new court show, so they were actively looking for cases for the pilot. The show didn't buy the idea, so we didn't do it. Bummer."

17. calm_posure didn't even see Ty Pennington on the set of "Extreme Makeover."

"Remember that show “Extreme Makeover” with Ty Pennington? My mom took my brother and I to filming for when they do the big reveal. From what I remember, there were dozens of takes and we didn’t see Ty Pennington show the house in real time. Everything was pieced together, and moved at a snail’s pace."

18. Tibbersbear's aunt experienced the supreme weirdness of "Wife Swap."

"My aunt was on wife swap and she said the producers told them to start fights. They also played up their quirks and made the kids be brats. Her son really didn't like the producers telling him to start a fight with the swapped mom. They also had to put their dogs in boarding because they had three and the producers didn't like them. They also made her husband open his business (a haunted house that is only open from September to beginning of November) so they could film swapped mom getting uncomfortable."

"The producers also would say things to them behind the family's back. So my aunt would be told that the swapped husband said this, or vice versa, to create tension. They also gave them a script during the reunion. They had to fight. She said the experience was extremely weird..."

19. foxy_stoat_seeks_pig knows firsthand that "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" is relatively real.

"I was on the Croatian version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” recently. The handshake that happens after you win “fastest finger” is edited: you walk up to the host, shake hands for a bit, then the crew hooks your microphone up and fixes your hair and makeup. Afterwards you return to the same spot and shake hands again so that they can edit the whole thing more smoothly."

"Also, there was no actual break during the commercial break. The audience would just clap continuously for 20 seconds or so. Otherwise there were no bigger interruptions or cuts (some bits of conversation were cut for time, but there weren’t many of those)."

20. comedianne met Vanna White backstage.

"May be late to the party, but I was on Wheel of Fortune several years ago! The thing that took me by surprise the most is that each episode is shot consecutively; there would be a wardrobe change for Pat and Vanna and then the next episode would be shot. We waited in a back room and Vanna came in before filming to introduce herself (sans makeup and wearing a sweatshirt) to show us she was just a person- it was a super nice gesture and really put people at ease."

"We took a very short break during the competition, where our makeup would be touched up or we would be given water, but the whole game went by super quickly. Then a lawyer went over your prizes and whether or not you wanted to accept them (it can be expensive to!). I owed a ton in taxes on the prizes I won."

21. DorisWKing had to yell their support for their friend.

"My friend was on What Not to Wear, and I was in the audience of people who were there to react when she came out from behind the curtain with her new look. She came out over and over again, but our cheering was never enthusiastic enough for the producers. After about 10 takes, we were screaming our heads off, totally hysterical, as if we'd just seen her rise from the dead. So that part was fake; I thought she just looked alright."

22. Dubioushonesty knows what Pat Sajak is into.

"Not to go into specifics, but Pat Sajak likes to lean over and blow into your ear when no one is looking. He doesn’t do anything more than that besides wink but it’s enough to get creeped out."

23. wigglebuttbulldog's friend was assigned a fake partner for television.

"A friend of a friend did one of those home remodel shows but she didn’t have a husband or partner, so she was assigned a partner - they didn’t even know each other but had to act like they’ve been married for years."

24. McSteazey was on Elimidate.

"I was on a cheesy dating show called "Elimidate" when I was 24. I thought the final product was pretty close to what happened during taping. That being said, the producers were aggressive in pushing questions that would create conflict with the other contestants. The whole experience was still really fun and I got to ride a mechanical bull in my underwear on national TV."

25. koreiryuu's ex-girlfriend's brother knows the truth about Bar Rescue.

"My ex-girlfriend's brother worked at a bar that was in an episode of Bar Rescue. He says all of the drama between employees was manufacturered, all of the excitement of the revamped bar was scripted with multiple takes, the only truth was that the bar did get revamped. You basically let them redesign your bar for free/minimal costs in return for them writing up a fake story about a failing bar that they turned around."

26. whotoldbrecht's friend was on "Made."

"My close friend in high school was on MTV’s ‘MADE’ and it was a lot of weird editing and forced scenes between us. They encouraged us to discourage him so when he finally got ‘MADE’ we’d be like “Oh wow! You surprised us!”. We’d also say something, and they’d tell us how to say it better and film us a couple of times saying it for a good take."

"We were also forced to talk only about our one friend and his process of being Made for like 5-6 weeks for the episode if he was around us, usually at lunch or in our shared classes. It was exhausting. All the “drama” was real though bc my friend was a theatrical dramatic person anyway, lol."

"Also the being “made” at the end was staged bc he got made to be a jock and to make it onto a sports team, and he just wanted to be on TV. The coach knew and he fudged it to be like “Wow you impressed me you’re now a varsity player” and he never joined the team after film crew left, lol."

27. Jakdublin was in a fabricated documentary.

"I was in a documentary series about local newspapers. A lot of it was contrived. They were trying to get us to work on stories that we wouldn't normally cover. In one of the segments I was in they edited it to make it look like I was having a row with a colleague over something neither of us really cared about. End product didn't reflect what goes on in our newsroom."

28. whatindafk hated Family Feud.

"Family Feud about 16 years ago. We lost. There are lots of other “families” there. A family is a loose term. The meals are horrible. If you lose, you keep nothing. Not even the name tags. It’s so darn stressful. My team picked me to be the lead. I was either lacking in looks or personality because my younger sister was promoted."

"There’s children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads, they’re busy building toys and absolutely no one’s dead."

– Jack Skellington

I've had Halloween on my mind since August, so I really can't say anything negative about people who are prematurely jazzed about Christmas. Personally, I'd wait until the Halloween candy goes on sale to bust out my yule log, but you do you. Whether you're a direct descendant of Buddy the Elf, a stickler for dates on a calendar, or a Scrooge wannabe, these memes will definitely make you laugh out loud this October.

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There are many myths about the homeless, such as "they're lazy" or "their homeless on purpose." But in reality, most homeless people end up living on the streets as a result of their circumstances, such as poverty, addiction, abuse, family problems, or mental illness. It's not a life that most people would ever choose willingly. Someone recently asked Reddit: "people who are / have been homeless, what was the first night without a home like, and how did you adapt to your new situation?" The answers offer rare and fascinating insight into the lives and challenges of a population who are often unfairly judged and dismissed by the rest of society.

These 22 responses from people who have been homeless may offset some common misconceptions about people who live or have lived on the streets:

1.) From DryResolution6:

I remember being really hungry and acting weird because of the low blood sugar, almost delirious. This was when I made a futile attempt to run away from an abusive home with no money. I ended up going back because of that.

2.) From beanersalad:

I was homeless for a couple of months a year or two ago. I had a car and a low paying job so I lived in the woods in a tent for a bit. The first night was miserable. I ended up sleeping really uncomfortably in the passenger seat of my car and it was a really cold night. After that I got a tent and slept on an old climbing pad i had. The first night was hell but the next several weeks were actually not so bad. I had a spot in the woods where I was well hidden and would cook over a fire. I really didnt have it that bad but it gave me quite a bit of sympathy for people who really do end up on the streets in a much more desperate situation. Shit is not easy.

3.) From UncleLongHair0:

When you're a teenager it seems kind of cool to sleep in the car, on the couch or floor of a friend or acquaintance, or for your dad to scam a rented apartment for a month or two without paying for it. Moving around every few months carrying everything that you can in an old Honda Civic seems like an adventure. We once moved a couch across town in it. We must have looked like a couple of idiots.

Once after a few months of staying in a place where we had no furniture, were sleeping on the floor, the carpet of which was so flea-infested that you could literally see the fleas hopping around, the landlord got so frustrated with us basically squatting in his property (my dad promised to pay and never did) that he removed the front door. So we went out to scam some food from somewhere and came back to find no front door. Which in retrospect is a pretty awesome way to get someone out of your property.

One of the ways we scammed food would be to go to the breakfast buffet of a fancy hotel, tell the server that we had a room there, eat a ton of food and just walk out. This was also kind of fun but looking back it is a kind of f*cked up way for a dad to treat his teenage kid.

4.) From 22cthulu:

Sleeping in my car wasn't that bad. It was summer, so it was pretty warm which was my biggest issue.

Showered in the gym, and spent most of my day at the library before going to work.

For the first few nights it wasn't bad. However one night police found me sleeping in my car and escorted me to the local homeless shelter, which was one of the most terrifying nights of my life. Since I'm lying there in a top bunk, when a huge argument breaks out because one guy breaks out some meth, wouldn't share it with a second, then a third got pissed and started screaming at them to be quite because he needed to sleep.

Edit: since this is coming up a lot, people keep asking how it was legal that the police escorted me to the shelter. I don't know the legality of the issue, what I can say is that I was woken up by a knock on my window to see four cops, two cop cars, they were singing those super bright flashlights through my window at me, and I didn't even think of arguing with them.

5.) From disint3gration:

I was kicked out by my mother at 16 and spent 2 months homeless before the local authority placed me in foster care.

I think what hit me first was how my own mother could make one of her own children homeless. I felt like the least favourite of her children - it all came out of nowhere, I racked my brain for years after, trying to think of what I might have done in particular.

Also the crippling loneliness you feel when you are trying to get hold of people to ask for a place to sleep for the night. I could not feel more alone in the world when someone would either not answer my message or tell me they were busy.

I'm pretty sure I camped out in the park that night. Didn't sleep at all.

6.) From Source_Points:

Slept in my vehicle, couch surfed with a friend, squatted in an unused trailer; all while still working at a Walmart. Saved enough to get a crappy apartment and just kept going from there.

7.) From The_Shape_Shifter:

First night my wife and I landed up sleeping outside we slept in a local park that I knew. We had come down from the countryside with a few Rands (enough for 1 meal maybe) and had hoped to stay with a friend. He was unable to give us a place to stay, so we had to sleep outside.

After the insecurity of that 1st night I told my wife that we have to find a safer place to sleep, so we climbed up the slopes of Table Mountain (about a 1 hour walk) and found quite a obscured spot amongst some bushes and trees. We cleared it out of sticks and rocks, made it a bit habitable and then went make to the city looking for work. We'd spend the day going from one place to the next looking for work until it started growing dark. Then we'd head up the mountain to our little spot for the night.

Did that daily for a month until we were able to secure a small shack room in the townships, where we stayed for another few months until I get a job offer.

Was my wife's temp waitering jobs that kept us fed whilst I was looking for work.

Biggest challenge was mental, keeping focussed, clean, looking presentable and just making my job looking for a job.

8.) From QuokkaNerd:

It was terrifying and cold and hungry. I didn't sleep a wink. I adapted over time. Extremely steep learning curve to surviving homelessness. Nothing really prepares you for it.

9.) From Gembloo336:

When I was a teenager I had lots of problems with my mom, I pretty much chose to be homeless. I slept at a Catholic Church across from my high school so I could still make it to school and graduate early. I remember feeling really sad because I slept where they put peoples ashes, and I remember being so sad that those people could comfort me in death more than anybody alive. I used to talk to them, if there’s camera footage I look insane. I never realized how alone I was in the world until I was homeless. And I never realized how cold concrete can be, it chills you right to your bones and is painful.

10.) From thisimpetus:

I was only homeless for about six weeks, at 36 years of age. After several years of depression and anxiety slowly eroding my resources, relationships and general will to try anymore, I ended up having a final blowout with my gf, who reasonably couldn’t handle me anymore.

I started sleeping at work, which wasn’t even a full-time job.

The delicacy involved in not getting caught, and the freedom from the extremely unhealthy state my relationship had been in, kept my mind away from the absolute, abject terror that was hiding beneath the surface; the scary part of homelessness for me was the growing sense that if I fell any further I’d probably never get back up. It takes resources to be clean, fed and rested, and if you aren’t those things it’s very hard to get resources, let alone find the will to try. But that first night was all triage, all focused on being sure the second night wasn’t going to be on the street.

I pulled it off for six weeks, and that time, actually, saved my life; I was away from conflict, intimately connected to how dire my circumstances had become, forced into a very regular schedule (routine is really good for me but nigh-impossible in a depressive state), and, without bills, was able to save enough for damage-deposit and rent.

I still struggle with depression in a pretty serious way but the animal terror of having no where and no one really seared itself into me. A better motivation would be the-future-i-want than the-future-i-fear, but as it stands I at least have a motivator strong enough to escape the incredible gravity of mental illness.

11.) From WannabeMoonKnight:

I kept waking up in the middle of the night and would start walking "home". I'd get a few steps then stop and realize I had nowhere to go and turn and walk back over and lay on the ground.

The ground is very cold and I felt a lot of shame.

12.) From neko-oji:

I started being homeless at 19, a previous foster parent put me out for coming home from college one night, and I had called up a friend last minute. When I started to realize I wouldn't be able to crash or stay anywhere, I am fairly certain I started to dread, and spiral into a constant, underlying depressive state. All I could think about was "am I going to die like this? Do I matter? Will no one help me? I'm sad, I'm scared. I don't want to feel like I have to beg. What if I'm stuck like this? Is this really my life right now?" 19-26 was a very challenging time...

13.) From MediumSpaces:

I packed three bags, one with clothes, blankets, and a pillow. One with food, and one with books. I couch surfed for a little bit, a week or two with each of my friends, slept in my car while I had it.

I used other people's kitchens to cook stolen food and ate food that 7-11 threw away (every morning at about 6am, night shift would throw out all the food that sat too long). I would wait for the clerk to go back inside, and then fish the bag out of the dumpster.

Slept outdoors in some parks after the car got towed and I used up my friends' goodwill. Got really good at 5-10 min "wash ups" in public bathrooms with hand soap.

Teeth, armpits, underboobs, and butt. Let me tell you how nasty hand soap tasted. Would occationally wash my underwear with hand soap real quick too, and dry it with the hand driers.

I would generally use 2 24 hour McDonald's at about 4am so no one would walk in on me.

What I would do is I would pan handle outside of a subway station for enough money for a crack rock, an egg of heroin, a needle, and a sandwich and tea. If you wear semi-professional clothes and say "Omg, my purse got stolen, does anyone have any spare change," you get more money than just asking amd wearing, like, jeans.

I would then go to the first McDonald's, order the sandwich and say I had to use the bathroom. Then I would do a wash-up, grab the sandwich, and eat it on the way to the next McDonald's.

At the second McDonald's, I would order a tea and ask for lemon juice, pocket the juice and ask to use the restroom. In the restroom I would use the juice to break down the crack, mix it with the heroin, and shoot up.

Then, sadly, I would usually actually use the bathroom in a park or something.

Did this for years until I accidently got pregnant. I would be goddamned if I screwed my kid up by being a junkie, so I cold-turkeyed everything.

I own a house now and will be 14 years clean on November 18th.

(Edited for clarity and spelling)

14.) From eternalrefuge86:

I was getting high, so it really didn’t truly sink in until I was broke and dope sick. Then the desperation started. Going to gas stations jumping car to car asking for money. Stealing what I had to. It was a miserable existence. There are so many things you don’t think about when your not homeless...taking a shower, washing your clothes, and the boredom. Hours upon hours of nothing to do. And the constant noise. There was nowhere to go where it was truly quiet.

Fortunately I eventually got arrested for shoplifting reached out to family who helped me get back on my feet.

15.) From ShudderingNova:

My parents didn't tell us that they lost their house to the bank. One day we left everything but a few clothes and essentials. I remember sitting in the car watching the world outside and I felt extremely alone. The drive just endlessly went unless we had to go to the bathroom. We ate some cracker things and had water at rest stops from bathrooms. Sleeping in a carseat that you couldn't lay back really was hard to adapt to so I didn't sleep for the first couple nights. It really sucked but as the days turned into weeks things just became the new normal. We would drive around for hours and sometimes camp out at campgrounds or road sides instead of sleeping in our woefully tiny car.

This completely ruined our education because we couldn't stay at any school long. I loved school for their food and I would steal paper, pens, and books sometimes so I had something to do. My mother eventually said she would just homeschool us but that was soon dropped for us kids to do for ourselves. I was able to almost get my ged before a sickness stopped me but some of my younger siblings only have an education from 3rd or 4th grade. When it was winter I remember having to take showers from those hand pumps at the camp ground. The water was so cold it would instantly burn and numb up anything it touched. We also didn't have winter clothes so most of us would wrap up in our old blankets and layers of clothes. We rarely had any food and I resorted to eating some of my clothes, paper, grass, or tiny pieces of my own skin to try to not feel hungry.

Once we had to eat pancakes as our main food for months. I cannot eat pancakes anymore because the very smell of them makes me sick now. Other food we got was ramen, and rarely a hotdog. I'm not sure how my parents managed to get the food or have money even if it was very little. Maybe from a food pantry. Cooking food on the fire wasn't that hard to do and I learned how to make a fire and gather what a fire needs.

If we got sick we never went to a doctor. Just had to hope it got better. We were on and off homeless until I was in my late teens when my grandmother bought my parents a house for us all to live in. It still feels so strange to actually have a home and even food. I still have a hard time knowing a lot of social norms because of the isolation from homelessness. You just do what you can to survive.

I still resent my parents for avoiding any help from the government or going to any homeless shelters. They lost our house because of stupid spending and going into bankruptcy. Their habits never changed. We would get a place to live for maybe a year or two then lose it because my parents were terrible at managing money.

Edit- I'm on mobile so Idk how to edit my post to look pleasing. Sorry for the wall of text. Edit 2- I think I fixed my text wall.

16.) From Poecifer:

I was 13 when my parents kicked me out and told me they no longer wanted anything to do with me. I was terrified to visit a shelter because I'd known some foster kids and the whole system scared me plus I wanted to continue going to the same school. In didn't want to lose my friends too. The scariest part at that age was really finding out what I was hoping to eat. There had been a dilapidated trailer just minutes down the road from my dad's place so I stayed in that.

I don't think it all really hit me until I had to choose one night between food and blankets because the temperature was expected to drop down to the mid 30s and I had only had one somewhat thin blanket at that point. The next day, I put on my best attire which was nothing impressive and asked for a job at Long John Silvers. I lied and told them I was 15 and I worked 5 days a week rushing over after school.

I ate more unhealthy than I have since to save money for some form of shelter which came in the form of a 91 Toyota Camry that I purchased out of the Thrifty Nickel for $300. I loved that clunker plus heating myself was much easier.

From there it was mostly uphill. Found an older lady willing to rent me her garage without any sort of credit check. Took a couch off the side of the road to sleep on. I even had internet in there where I mostly read scary stories all night (I wish video streaming services were really a thing back then) and I just kinda... Learned to roll with the punches. My childhood wasn't normal. It was downright terrifying a good chunk of the time but it is what made me who I am today

17.) From Xstitchpixels:

I didn’t really realize what was going on, I was about 6-7 at the time. Dad said we were going to go for a drive and to pack my backpack with all the clothes I could fit and one toy. Mom was just crying. Me and my brother sat in the backseat, he was a little older and was holding our Sega Genesis and looking scared.

We drove for a little while (it was already getting dark) and we parked in front of a Walmart and dad said he had to rest for a while. Was the first of many....many nights we slept in the car.

I remember one of my parents was always awake, with their hand in their coat pocket. Looking back it was obvious they had a gun for protection, sleeping in shifts.

18.) From Theearthhasnoedges:

I once was fooled by an ex into moving back in with her after a break-up. After a couple of weeks she decided to have a yard sale. This yard sale ended up featuring most of my stuff. Then with money in hand she decided it was time I went back to my place.

My place which had nothing in it. My place which I had given notice on. My place which was already awaiting a new renter.

I spent my last two weeks sleeping on a hardwood floor using sweaters as blankets and then when the day came to vacate I threw all my clothes in a plastic bag and just started walking. I was destitute. I had absolutely nothing and no idea where to start.

It was right in the Canadian winter so staying outside would be a death sentence in many cases, so I did the only thing I could think of, I sat in a 24 hour Tim Horton's. I used what little money I had to purchase small coffees once in a while so I at least had an excuse to sit there.

Eventually my cash ran out and I thought for sure I'd get the boot. Then one of the ladies working the counter came over and just handed me my usual order. I guess she probably figured out what was going on and felt bad. The second time she did it I struggled not to cry.

I'm pretty thankful because my next idea if I was asked to leave was to politely refuse, then sit and wait for the cops. Better than freezing to death.

Morning came and I had saved only enough to catch a single bus. Headed downtown to try to find some friends. I did, and I couch surfed between a lot of them. I never spent a night out in the cold, but I spent many in a coffee shop or bouncing between friends.

It was the worst my depression ever got and the closest I ever came to actually ending my life. Things are a million times better for me now, but I'll never forget how worthless I felt.

19.) From doingthebattybat:

I was homeless for a little while in the 80's. Its terrifying at first. You feel so unsafe. I was a teenager, and wasn't willing to close my eyes and sleep on a park bench alone. So, I went to a local shelter and lied about my age. The forced me to shower and do a pee test. It turns out the women in that shelter were scarier than the street so the next night I didnt go back. I slept in a park but ultimately made squatter friends and stayed with them. It was very much a community and I felt safe and loved there.The biggest problem with being homeless in the city is no one wants to let you use the bathroom. Even park bathrooms are locked. Squat peeing in between cars can be done quickly and undercover, but when you get your period its a nightmare.These days I have stability so I never pass a homeless person without buying them some food or giving them a little money. And if they use it for drugs or alcohol I dont care. Living on the streets is HARD, drink if you need to my friend.

20.) From CaptainDreadwuggles:

I wasn't homeless to the extreme that some other guys I got to know who camped in the woods outside of town were, but I did a spell at a mission in town for a summer.

The first night was pretty rough. I had been living with some friends after losing my place, but life caused them all to go separate ways so one drove me to the mission and pretty much was like "K Bye".

The mission was your typical ultra conservative Christian ran shelter. The owners were hyper aggressively masculine, to the point where they demanded your respect even while driving around in their brand new sports cars and treating you like dirt.

The guys living there were a mix of ex-cons and drug addicts, but there were also some older gentleman who were there simply because they were old and the government assistance wasn't enough.

You have to adopt new ways of thinking amidst the less reputable side of that crowd. Learn how to keep people from stealing your stuff, learn how to talk to people who are drugged senseless so they don't start beef with you.

I pretty much spent that summer walking around town from dawn to dusk looking for a job. Pretty sure I applied at literally every business I could, updated with them regularly. Did my best to avoid picking up any addictions.

A year later I'm sitting in a rented house with a lovely girlfriend and a cozy desk job. And I'd rather die than go back to that hell.

21.) From YugoMoomin:

The first time, I had to live in a motel for half a year. Each night was the same as the last. Cramped, upsetting, but dry and safe.

The second time, I got lucky and was already staying at my grandparents house the night when I became homeless again. Thankfully, they allowed me to stay until I eventually got a new home. The first night there was blissful peace and ignorance.

22.) From baronmad:

Well for me it wasnt due to economic reasons, i was in a new town for work and had my wallet, car keys, and phone in my jacket, went to a library to loan some books as i had nothing else to do. Left the jacket unguarded for 10 minutes and someone stole it.

Had no access to any money, couldnt call almost anyone except my family and it was 7pm already and getting dark outside. Borrowed a phone and called my girlfriend, then my parents, and asked them to contact the company i work for and let them know what had happened and how they could contact me the next day.

So i spent 2 nights without a roof because it took that much time to sort things out mostly because i couldnt really prove who i was, so i couldnt acess the things they helped set me up with.

It sucks beyond belief, you cant sleep because its too f*cking cold, and there arent any places to go either because everything is closed. I remember when mcdonalds closed at 10 pm the first night, jesus christ that was not fun but i wasnt very hungry as i had had dinner before i went to the library. The second day i was tired as i hadnt slept i was so cold as well. I thought "we will sort this through today easily" but boy was i wrong.

It took untill 2pm to get in contact with the company and they really tried to help me, they set up an emergency account at a well trusted bank, called them in the town i was in and said explicitly exactly what i looked like, what i was wearing and that it was an emergency situation.

Of course the bank didnt trust them so when i went there they just said no, being really hungry i borrowed a phone again in the library called the company and said what had happened, so the mailed me a credit card to the library, talked with some staff at the library to lend me some cash so i could eat untill the credit card arrived. So had one more night to spend outside and havent slept the first night at all i managed to slumber for 10-30 minutes woke up from the cold had to start moving to build up some heat in my body, slumber a little bit more.

When mcdonalds opened at 7am, i went there bought breakfast and coffee and asked if i could sleep there for a while, after explaining my situation they agreed, slept untill 10am went back to the library and waited for the mail to arrive. Got the credit card and paid the person back with interest, i returned the double she had lent me.

Because the gratitutde you feel when they really f*cking saved you from starving just a day is a very immense feeling. Used the credit card to rent a car, in the companies name by having the place who rent out cars call the CEO of the company i work for so he would vouch for it. I drove home and started to get my life back on track, drivers license, my own bank account, keys, phone etc etc etc.

We take these things for granted, losing them all at the same time was hell. If you ever travel and get to a town you dont know people be very careful about your things so it doesnt happen to you.

The only thing i had was my clothes and shoes minus the jacket. But it did harden me, im more resilient now.

So now i have lived out of a car for 2 weeks, for work because i couldnt find a cheap place to stay at and i get 60% of the difference between what they have to pay for my residence in a new town and the actual cost of the residence i choose to stay at.

Living out of a car is hard, there are so many things you take for granted that you lack, running water, toilet, shower and clean clothes. Just a place to eat that is your own place is something you will miss. If you plan on doing it, get a volt meter, because i plugged my laptop into the car battery to charge it then i spent an evening watching youtube videos and shit, the next day the car was dead because i had drained the battery.

Went to a gym for shower but had to pay to use it well obviously. Here in Sweden we have no laundromats, so i had to use a dry cleaner to clean my clothes once. The worst part is that the chill really does creep into your car so try to find a warm garage, or a sleeping bag. You have access to none of the things you take for granted, electricity becomes something you begin to think very carefully about. Always have 2 bottles of water, one for drinking the other for sanitation fill them up before you go back to the car for the night. Keep some toilet paper in the car at all times it has more uses then merely wiping your ass.

"I love people who make me laugh."

-Audrey Hepburn

I love people who make me laugh, but memes that can make me laugh are even better because I don't need to be wearing pants when I see them. Get your chuckle on this morning with this totally awesome collection of randomly funny memes. It's laugh o'clock somewhere, people.

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Pretty much everyone who dedicated a chunk of the early 2000s to watching The Office has some Jim and Pam theories. We all know that after years of "will they, won't they" tension, they finally broke the seal of feelings and got married.

However, not all fans agree on the state of their relationship. Some people believe Jim and Pam were long destined to be together, and their marriage was an inevitable manifestation of that love. While others aren't so convinced by the foundation of their eventual marriage, which involved breaking up each other's previous relationships and flip-flopping on feelings.

Even more dramatically, there are of course also those who don't like the character of Jim, or Pam, or either of them, and feel the focus on them is a waste of television when there are so many other wacky hilarious characters.

Given the cornucopia of fan theories and preferences, bringing up discussions about the state of Jim and Pam's marriage is bound to stir up a lot of feelings.

In a recent Twitter thread Chrissy Teigen polled her followers to see how many of them think the TV couple would still be together.

The poll results were unanimous, with 70% of voters convinced Jim and Pam's marriage would survive.

While Teigen initially agreed with the poll results, she had dark visions of an unhappy marriage where Jim got away with a wandering eye and Pam was relegated to the house.

Teigen added that Jim's secret life of bottle service is never discovered because Pam is unable to figure out her phone, so it's impossible to catch him.

Meanwhile, Pam convinces herself she's okay by crafting for Etsy and counting her blessings, despite a relatively boring life.

Teigen also resolutely theorized that they never took the leap to move to Austin, but neither Jim or Pam could fully admit to themselves that it'd never happen.

But then, after second thought, Teigen rescinded her view of Jim and Pam and decided their marriage would have disintegrated enough they would be divorced by now.

Teigen's followers were deeply divided on her theories, with some relieved to know they're not alone in thinking Jim and Pam don't have what it takes, and others convinced the couple would stand strong.

This discussion is triggering a lot of nostalgic TV feelings, which definitely affects the theories.

Regardless of where you fall when it comes to Jim and Pam, we all know that Phyllis and Bob were the most ride or die couple in the whole show.

If there's one thing that unites our ever-polarized country, it's "influencers"—specifically, hating them. Everyone loves to make fun of people who make a living by having a huge online followings, especially when they try and use their follower count to convince people to treat them like royalty. Are we all just jealous? Maybe. But there's something about having a big social media following that seems to bring out a raging sense of entitlement in people.

This infuriating phenomenon is perfectly illustrated by a Reddit post of a one-star Yelp review of an Italian restaurant from a so-called "influencer" whose sole gripe with the restaurant is that they didn't give her a discount after she offered to post about her meal to her 11,000 followers.

The woman acknowledges that the food was "very delicious" and even called it "some of the best Italian food" she'd ever had. But then she explains her 1 star review is because of the "cheap management and customer service."

She writes:

I was actually so impressed that when the manager came to ask us how everything tasted I told her it was some of the best Italian food Ive had and I told her Im going to post about it on Instagram where I have over 11 thousand followers and a lot of them are in the area. She seemed very happy about it.

I was wrong. I thought that she would be greatful for the free advertising but when the check came there was literally no discount at all. I thought at least one of the entrees would be taken off but they didnt even take off the calamari or even the drinks!

She continues by saying she "wont go back because of this" and that the manager "needs to understand how to treat customers."

This review is absolutely bonkers for a number of reasons. First of all, nobody, regardless of their follower count, is entitled to free food at a restaurant. Secondly, if we're talking numbers, 11,000 followers is not even a huge follower count and barely qualifies her for "influencer" status. Thirdly, Yelp reviews and ratings actually have a big impact on a restaurant's business. Trying to punish a restaurant, especially one that treated you positively and served "very delicious" meals, just because they didn't give you special treatment due to your follower count is atrociously entitled, delusional behavior. If anyone needs to learn how to treat people, it's this woman.

Clearly, the internet agrees. The 1-star review was posted on the Reddit forum "Trashy" where it went viral and got thousands of comments. People are dragging this entitled "influencer" through the mud for her terrible behavior.

donkeyvonwanker writes:

Entitled POS needs to get a real job.

controversial_Jane thinks she should be banned from Yelp:

Yelp clearly don’t review the reviews. You should not be able to rate 1 star yet claim it was some of the best food ever. Yelp should ban her ass!

jtpinnyc points out that the review actually makes the restaurant look good, and the customer look terrible:

So she basically gave the restaurant the best review possible (serves great food, has no respect for IG influencing douchebags) and HERSELF the worst review possible (I'm entitled, narcissistic, stupid, selfish etc). Don't see the problem here.

Mhinc agrees:

Entitled bitch needs a reality check. This angers and sickens me to no avail. The good news is. The only person who looked bad in that review was the poster. The restaurant still looks great.

And AAMUA points out that 11K followers doth not an "influencer" make:

11K a Instagram followers is basically as good as none. I have 10K followers and I would be shocked if I could ‘influence’ even 10 of them to go buy something if they weren’t already planing on it. The vast majority of Instagram accounts are either people who only follow accounts that follow them back, or bots. There’s probably less than 1,000 actual ‘influencers’ in the world. Like real people who aren’t celebrities that have millions of followers that pay attention to what the person is posting.

While others are sharing their similar experiences with entitled, badly-behaved "influencers."

VTX1800_Rider calls them a "blight":

I work at a hotel near Disneyworld, where rooms can reach 300+/night. It shames me how much we comp and how much ass we kiss for bloggers, "influencers" (whatever the fuck that is), social media personalities, etc., only to have the same losers condescend and treat like shit the employees of the hotel. They are a blight.

This appears to be an epidemic perpetuated by businesses who keep offering people "special treatment" as a result of their Instagram following. Good on this restaurant for not enabling this madness. Hopefully this "bad" review will lead to more business for them from non-influencers who actually pay for their meals and treat others with respect.

Going to the wedding of a close friend can be a wonderful time where you rehash good memories and reflect on the ways your circle of pals has grown and tackled life.

However, it can also unfortunately be an awkward occasion where you realize you're no longer as close to old friends as you once were. This is particularly obvious when all the other women from your friend group are part of the wedding party and you're relegated to an distant guest table surrounded by strangers.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for considering canceling the gift check to an (ex) friend's wedding that left her feeling humiliated.

"WIBTA for canceling my wedding gift check?"

OP started the post by sharing that she and her boyfriend were super excited to attend the wedding of a friend she hadn't seen in years.

This weekend, my boyfriend and I went to the wedding of a friend who I hadn't seen in a couple years. She and I had been part of a sisterhood-type group. I was incredibly excited to get to see all my friends from the group who live all over the country, and to party!

Because of how far the wedding is from home, the bride let OP and her boyfriend stay at the house for two nights during the wedding.

The bride offered her house for us to stay at for the two nights we were there. This is a typical arrangement for the group I am a part of because it requires a lot of travel and the community is very supportive. Before we left home, my boyfriend and I decided to gift $200 both as a wedding gift and a thank you for giving us a place to stay. (Alternate accommodations would have been around $50 per night)

OP and her boyfriend decided to give $200 a piece as a wedding gift and thank you for the bride's hospitality.

Going to the wedding required both me and my boyfriend to take time off of work (costing me somewhere around $100 and him around $200), required me to buy a new dress to match the color theme ($100), and required a 20hr round trip drive.

However, even with the bride's hospitality, taking off work, buying outfits, and driving to the wedding cost a pretty penny for OP and her boyfriend.

Up until this point, everything was fine and I was happy to sacrifice my time and money to be with my friend on her special day. When we got to the ceremony, I knew absolutely no one. I was surprised because the bride said she was inviting everyone from our group. As the ceremony started, I realized that all of the other people in the group at the wedding were bridesmaids. I'm not gonna lie, that really hurt, but at this point I was still fine - maybe she was closer with those girls, and we would still have fun and hang out at the reception.

However, when they arrived at the ceremony OP quickly realized the other friends were in the wedding party.

While it hurt her feelings to feel so overtly excluded, OP decided the best course of action was to have fun at the reception - even if they were seated with strangers.

Then we get to the reception, and there's no alcohol. Or, I guess to be more specific, they are not serving any alcohol, but a subset of people were apparently told that the event would be BYOB and have their own personal alcohol for their groups (again, me and my boyfriend know absolutely no one). My boyfriend immediately said we'd given too much money for a wedding without an open bar and a plated dinner (they had a barbecue buffet).

Unfortunately, the wedding had no booze for the general public, but the wedding party was provided with alcohol and a select few were allowed to BYOB.

To make matters weirder, OP's old friends only said hi for a spare moment, and it was abundantly obvious they'd all been bonding throughout the week.

We stuck around awkwardly for awhile and eventually all the bridesmaids arrived. They came over to chat and it was immediately apparent that they felt incredibly awkward that they were bridesmaids and I wasn't, they had all been there since the middle of the week to catch up and had established a bunch of inside jokes, and they were really just saying hi to be polite (after a very awkward few minutes of conversation, they left to continue circulating around the reception).

Feeling deflated, OP told her boyfriend she wanted to leave ASAP, and the decided to drive off without even touching their food.

I told my boyfriend that I just wanted to go home, and we left as soon as we could without even touching the food and drove the 10 hours home that night. As we were leaving, he said I should cancel the check and save us both $100. At first I agreed because that's a lot of money for me right now, and I don't plan on having a relationship with any of those girls after this. But the bride did let us stay with her and was thoughtful enough to invite us, and after sleeping on it, I'm on the fence.

In the car on the drive home, OP's boyfriend suggested they cancel the wedding gift checks since it was a lot of money to spend on such a weird experience, but OP feels conflicted.

So we're leaving the decision up to you, reddit. WIBTA if I canceled the check?

mysteryman191 thinks OP is being completely petty.

"YTA your rationale for cancelling the check was because you weren’t a bridesmaid, no alcohol was served and was a plated dinner? Also, you think it’s fine because you’re gonna cut contact with her?That just seems like you’re being petty and cheap.

She invited you to her wedding. That already shows that you mean something to her.

[Edit] Wasn’t a plated dinner"

beepborpimajorp pointed out just how entitled OP was, and that the bride's actions indicate care as a friend.

"Whenever I see threads like this where the OP is absolutely shocked that they weren't as close to their friends as they thought, then they go on to say they want to do something vindictive to punish their former friends, it's like watching a damn circus. People need to have some introspection and ask themselves why people are distancing themselves from them rather than blaming everyone around them. Outside of serious circumstances like illnesses or whatever, it's very, very hard to become friendless without actively doing stuff that makes people not want to be around you."

"OP you admit yourself that you hadn't seen your friend 'for years' and then, what's the problem? You weren't asked to be a bridesmaid for someone you haven't seen in years, and are upset the dinner wasn't catered to your specific preference on YOUR FRIEND'S wedding day? You also mention $200 is a lot of money for you right now. Do you have any idea how much money it costs to be in a bridal party? Did you consider that your friend knew that and didn't want to embarrass you?"

"Yes YTA. Cancel the check if you want, it'll be the last nail in the coffin for your friends to stop talking to you at all if that's what you really want."

BellaBlue06 pointed out that OP's pettiness over money shows what kind of friend she really is.

"OP YTA! You live 10h away. That’s not her fault. How were you supposed to be a bridesmaid that far away? You stay at her house and you want to cancel the cash gift because you are pissed there’s a buffet and BYOB and no bar? Who would want to be friends with you if you’re this petty over $100 gift and counting up all the money to attend? You could have said no and not wasted her time and stayed at her place. Spoiled brat wow."

WebbieVanderquack pointed out how the bride opening her home was obviously a symbol of friendship, and canceling the check would be supremely petty.

"YTA. A wedding gift isn't contingent on whether you have a nice time at the reception. And you got free accommodation from the bride. Besides, by the sound of it you've already given her the check, so to cancel it now would look spectacularly mean-spirited."

analyst19 thinks it's reasonable for OP to phase out of the friend group, but canceling the check isn't the way to do it.

"YTA. Your friend can choose whomever she wants to be in the bridal party, and a lot of people have low-budget weddings. The gift is not supposed to offset the wedding expenses. It was gracious of her to open her house to you. She keeps the gift, but if you feel slighted about not being invited to be a bridesmaid, you can cool off your friendship."

SelfANew thinks the bride was more than gracious.

"So your reasons are:

• you weren't a bridesmaid

• you weren't given alcohol when you weren't promised it

• you didn't like the food even though you weren't promised anything in particular

• you didn't like their wedding

Why would you write a check for something with certain expectations of someone else's wedding then be upset that it wasn't exactly what you wanted?

You also seem to forget that they saved you $100 in lodging but you apparently don't care and want to stick it to them now. Good job cementing why you shouldn't have been a bridesmaid. YTA"

Acacia257 understands why OP feels bad, but still doesn't think this is the way to handle it.

"Yes completely YWBTA. I understand why you’re hurt, truly I do...but you’re not handling this like an adult. You can cancel the friendship, but you can’t cancel the check. Consider this a $200 lesson...don’t give something as a gift with conditions attached."

"In this situation the condition you were attaching to your wedding gift is “Because/if I have fun at the wedding and reception, it’s clear I’m important to her, and she’s spent adequate money on me and bf, I will give her $200.” Moving forward when you give something, I suggest you attach it to either NO conditions or a condition that has already been fulfilled - “because she is my friend, I am giving her $200.”

Hopefully, OP and her boyfriend read the thread and don't cancel the check - particularly since it could cost a penalty charge to the bride. The friendship, on the other hand, already sounds like its cooled down to a simmer.

Red flags: we're all familiar with the concept.

They're signs, small or large, that the person you're dating wouldn't make an ideal partner. Whether or not you recognize them immediately, they're decent indications that you shouldn't proceed with the relationship. Some in retrospect seem obvious: one of my exes told me about his (clinical) delusions of grandeur and I kept seeing him like nothing important had been divulged. I rationalized it at the time by thinking "At least he's self-aware!" but self-awareness isn't the same as modifying behavior or effectively managing mental health issues. Oops! We enjoyed our brief time together, but things didn't work out in the long term. In other instances, however, red flags are more serious or give way to bigger problems.

So when Redditor adrien_68 asked, 'Gentlemen, what is an absolute red flag a woman can raise on the first date?' people leapt to answer. They ranged from garden variety examples of rudeness to potentially life-threatening behaviors. More than anything, they made me glad I'm not actively dating. Whatever your relationship status, these stories will entertain you. Happy scrolling!

My brother was in the army when he was set up on a blind date by a friend’s girlfriend. Apparently during the first ten minutes of dinner she was talking about how she would be such a great and loyal army wife, and how she thought army wives were so brave and admirable and how she would never leave him if he was injured. He had literally just met this girl. He stuck it out through dinner, faked sick and left. She pursued him pretty hard after, but he lied and told her he decided he wasn’t really over his ex and wasn’t ready for a relationship. He said about a month later she tried to text him with a booty call, and said she even tried to “sweeten the deal” by saying he didn’t need to wear protection because she was on birth control. Like how many red flags can one girl have?!

-nikknox

This takes me back to the early 20s version of me and a fine lass named Rebecca. We met at a New Years party, she tall and artsy with some feather arrangement in her hair I complimented. Oooohhh midnight and a proper kiss on the cheek with the promise of a first date to start 1991.

Picked her up for said date a few days later and same hair treatment. She tells me she’s obsessed with birds and always wears a feather somewhere. Uh, ok, no problem, she’s still cute in full light and this just makes her quirky, right?

I was just a few yrs older and we went to a really nice Italian place near DC. She remarks how nice to be out with a “grownup” as she’s finishing college and has been dating “boys”. Nice! Dinner’s great until dessert. The whipped cream on mine reminds her of her last boyfriend. She then tells me in great detail how she stalked him, hiding in bushes near his house to spy, f-ing with his tires and covering his entire car in whipped cream and eggs. “Isn’t that just the funniest?!?”

Check. Please.

-drm38r

"You sound just like my ex boyfriend"

Upon hearing my voice, that is what she said.

-ahslol

Went out with a girl on a blind date and she tried to sell me Amway.

-darthbiscuit80

I went to meet a woman from an online dating site and at the last minute she texted to ask if I could swing by her house which was only a few blocks away from the Starbucks we were supposed to meet at. That should have been a tip off in retrospect but we'd chatted a lot online so I felt comfortable enough. Maybe she just needed a lift or something.
Instead, I come up to her house and when she opens the door, she is wearing an ankle bracelet. She begs me to please understand how she didn't want to mention it on the dating site and to please hear her out. I was naturally uncomfortable by this point but also curious so I sat down for a few minutes in her living room. She told me of this domestic dispute she had with her ex that had turned violent and now she was on 30 days house arrest. A very overweight teenage girl came into the room at this point, and the woman said "oh yea I also forget to mention I come with this." Now I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I started making excuses to leave but she kept trying to get me to stay. "Please, just one date after I am done with house arrest. The things I could learn from a man of your smarts.." I said nothing besides "I really have to go, will think about it" I just walked out the door and she followed, explaining that the bracelet had a range of several feet outside. I was rummaging for my car keys next to my car, when she grabbed my left hand and slid it under her shirt, placing it directly on her bare breast. She looked up at me with a wicked grin.
I got in the car without a word and just drove. I never felt so happy to drive away from a place in my life.
So yea, asking me about red flags may not be a great idea.. though hopefully I have wised up since then

-dudeARama

Starting a small fire in the street in front of your house before the date has even begun.

-DJBJD-the-3rd

If she's been using pics of a 21 yo online and turns out she's 60.

-ktfan67

Asking if you have ever done heroin, and would like to shoot up later. Unless you do want to shoot up later. Same for doing lines of coke.

-lopjoegel

Their boyfriend calls them

-hylogun1286

She can't take her eyes off her phone for more than 10 seconds.

-Balawis05

Oh boy here we go...

Long story short, I went on a date with a chick and we were vibing really well before she turned ice cold and began acting like a bitch.

At that point I just wasnt enjoying it so I made up some excuse about having some stuff to do and left.

Few hours later she texts me she was disappointed that I ‘gave up’ so easy and she was testing how much i liked her.

Needless to say I didn’t ask her on a second date. I’d rather be single/celibate than have a relationship/sex with the entire cast of Mean Girls crammed into a single person with a maturity of a high school freshman.

-Fruit-Dealer

"Working gets in the way of living."

-Omar Sharif

Don't let work get in the way of you laughing at memes. These hilarious jokes are here to distract you from the fact that you're nowhere close to retirement. Ugh.

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.We've all had a "what's the word??????" moment. Forgetting common words or phrases is a universal experience but every time it happens it's—what's the word?—ah, yes, embarrassing. Although the invention of Google has certainly helped, sometimes there isn't time to save your a** with an internet search and you have to get creative and make up a substitute word or phrase to fill the blank created by your brain.

A woman named Brittani Nichols recently shared her story of forgetting the word for "reservation" while on the phone with a restaurant. So in the heat of the moment she made up the term "food appointment" which, to be fair, is not wrong—but still made her feel too ashamed to ever go to that restaurant.

It may be an embarrassing mistake but it's certainly a relatable one. Brittani's tweet went viral and now everyone is sharing their own experiences with getting creative after blanking on a word or phrase. Here are 21 of the funniest examples.

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All of these creative word-substitutions are pure brilliance, and apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so.

Excited for "pancake ketchup," "top feet" and "food appointments" to become Thesaurus-official. And next time you have a brain fart and forget a word, don't be embarrassed. You're probably just hungry for sleep.

Anonymity can be a powerful tool when it comes to sharing dark, scary secrets, and vulnerabilities that can make you feel isolated. As chaotic and cruel as the internet can sometimes be, it has provided a space for strangers to connect and share intense stories without the pressure or fear of repercussions in their physical life.

When it comes to processing trauma or unpacking unbelievable circumstances or fatal mistakes, the chance to remain anonymous can make a world of difference. This is where forums like Reddit hold a lot of power and connect people with a sense of community and even life-saving resources.

While there are hugely popular threads that crop up on the daily, one of the most commented on threads of all time is full of potentially life ruining secrets.

When the OP asked people to create throwaway accounts to share the sad, bizarre, and sometimes illegal secrets they keep from their loved ones, the thread blew up, and years later people are still sharing their stories.

There are thousands of stories and equally empathetic and illuminating responses on this thread, these are just 30 of them.

1. throwaway215091 lives in a secret bunker.

"Two and a half years ago I was in dire financial straights, so I sold my home to keep my struggling business afloat. I neglected to tell the owners that they have an 800 sq. ft. bunker on the property that I built about seven years ago. The bunker that I've called home since I sold it. The entrance to it is well-hidden, but I still come and go very early/very late in the day."

"I'm a single man who keeps to himself. I'm now in a situation where I could move somewhere else, but I love this hidden paradise so much."

2. ABCH's mother raised them as a girl.

"[Background, I'm a guy in my late 20s who was taken into care aged 7.] Everyone around me already knows that I was brought up by foster families because I had a shit early childhood. I deliberately keep it vague and say stuff like "I'd rather not go into it" so that people will just assume I was abused in some way and they'll stop asking about it."

The truth is that for the first 7 years of my life, I was brought up as a girl by my psycho birth mother who really really really wanted a daughter and didn't let the snag of giving birth to a boy stop her from trying to raise one.

"She was a pretty successful professional in a legal field (not entirely sure what) and had me via anonymous sperm donor from a fertility clinic. She found out i was a boy at a late ultrasound and then moved across the country. Gave birth to me at home and continued to move about until I was 5 or so. It was just the two of us all my life, we had contact with other people, of course, but they rarely got very close. I had lots of friends, but was always supervised."

"I found out way way after that my mother's strong puritanical Christianity was a lie she used to explain why she was so strict about me being 'private' and never letting anyone see me get changed or anything. i just accepted all of this as fact, having never been told anything different."

"I was sent to a religious school for girls and had a really great childhood. I was a bit of a tomboy, and played with lego and toy animals, rather than dolls and stuff, but that's not unusual and no one ever questioned i was a girl - even me. I knew about men and women, but had never really seen much of naked people. My mother never ever spoke to me about it, but i kinda had the impression that when I grew up and got boobs and stuff, my dick would kinda fall off or something and I would be a woman, and other kids would keep their dicks and they'd be men. I dunno, to be honest, I never really thought about it."

"Anyway, I carried on with my happy girlhood, and had a bunch of friends and everything was great until i was 7 and a teacher accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee over me at school. the liquid soaked through my clothes and was scalding me so the staff immediately stripped me out of my dress and underwear to get the hot coffee away from my skin. And then they found out."

"The cops were called and I got taken to speak with who I guess would be Social Services. they asked me a bunch of questions about life at home and stuff. Meanwhile, my mother was taken in for questioning too. She refused to acknowledge me as male and insisted I was her daughter. Because she was, y'know, delusional and stuff, I wasn't allowed to go back home but got put with a foster family and went through loads of therapy and stuff."

"The worst part was that literally overnight, I lost EVERYTHING. My mother, my home, all my toys, all my clothes, I moved school so lost all my friends, they cut all my hair off and told me I wasn't a girl any more. It was really really traumatic."

"The first foster home wasn't that great. They had three boys already and going from a sheltered 'religious' only-child upbringing to a rough-and-tumble testosterone-filled environment was really difficult. They tried to force me to be masculine and I was just too confused about what they wanted. Anything 'girly' was reprimanded and I felt so lost and alone because nothing I did was right."

"I tried to commit suicide when i was 11 and again at 13 because i didn't feel I fitted in anywhere. After the second attempt, they moved me to a different foster family who were awesome. I consider them to be my parents. they actually stood up for me, the first thing was that they et me grow my hair. From when I got taken into care, they buzzed my hair short, and I hated it. they always had to hold me down and do it forcibly while i was crying and fighting. My new parents flatly refused to do it and said that loads of boys had long hair. They also let me quit karate and football and take up swimming and jazz dance. since I'd been in care, no one had ever stood up for my right to choose what activities to do, or how to dress before. It was amazing."

"In the end, I came out of it with a pretty healthy gender identity (I'm a guy, but not the most butch guy ever, but i'm fine with that), I went through school and got my degree and have a pretty good job and an amazing, supportive wife. everything looks great.

But I can never speak about my early childhood, and how i grw up as a little girl."

TL;RD: I'm a guy and let people believe i was raised in care because i was abused when in fact i had a great childhood except that my mother tried to raise me as a girl.

EDIT: holy crap, I never expected such a response. Have finally remembered the password I used for this account and am answering any questions I find. Thank you, reddit!

3. PassmethePepper plagiarizes without getting caught.

"I speak two languages so every time I received a new essay I would browse the topic in my own language and translate the text word-by-word to English then submitted it.

No one ever caught me for plagiarism before."

4. Tomgoldaccount literally died and started a new life.

"I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States."

5. iGotYouThisCake's business has a big secret (or had).

I run a cake business. I charge people hundreds for wedding cakes... Every last one is made using Pilsbury cake mix I buy for $1 a box at Walmart. I suck at baking. Every time I've ever tried to make a cake from scratch it sucked. But baking is like.. My whole deal. My friends all call me the cake girl. It's like my whole life is a lie. People compliment my cakes all the time. Telling me how delicious they are.

Telling me it's so much better than box mix cake. Telling me they could never bake a cake so delicious. Well guess what? For $1, they too can make a cake just as delicious. Just add oil, eggs and water. In my defense, I love cake decorating. I make all of the frostings and fondant from scratch. I just hate baking fucking cakes!! I base my prices mostly on the decoration of the cakes and not of the cake itself of that makes sense. Still... No one knows about this except my husband.

Even my best friends think I fucking slave over the oven mixing and baking these damn cakes. I have been doing this for YEARS. If anyone knew my business and reputation would be in the toilet for sure. :/ I keep telling myself I have to learn how to make the damn cakes without the box mixes, but I never do it. I feel like such a sham sometimes.

Edit-holy shit I didn't expect such a response to this! I feel better about it thanks to a lot of these comments!

Funny, I started this account as a novelty account and got bored of googling random cakes to post as comments lol Seemed perfect for this confession!!!

Edit 2: months later I receive messages almost daily on this account. I am so glad I used a throwaway. I forget to check this account most of the time and rarely see this stuff until weeks later.

That said, to answer the main questions- yes I know I can order cake mix online, but I don't make enough cakes for it to be economical. It's actually more expensive to order online. Honestly, I'm not incredibly worried about people seeing me anymore. If I ran into someone I would tell them that I was helping my niece with a bake sale or something.

I have, since this thread, made some cakes from scratch. I'm still using box mixes for chocolate and vanilla. Oh and red velvet because fuck all of that.

Let's see what else, oh right, I've received probably 100 comments saying "The cake is a lie." We get it. It's very clever, but no, I'm sorry, you're not the first, second, third or twentieth to say it.

Overall, I've learned this is actually pretty normal. And that people from all over the world have a friend who makes cakes and they all think I am their friend. So far no one has pinned me, but you guys had better check your friend's cabinets for Pilsbury mix ;)

Edit Wednesday June 17, 2015

Alright kiddos. Here I am. A friend texted me and said my people need me hahaha. I guess there was a thread that got big and mentioned this thread. Here's your update!

I actually no longer make cakes. I got a divorce and moved into a much smaller home. At that point I had no place to decorate cakes. I was also really burnt out. It's an incredibly hard art! Very time-consuming and requires a lot of tools and space.

About a year later, I moved in with my now boyfriend. We have a pretty big kitchen. I wanted to sell my equipment and tools and the billion giant cake pans I have, but he convinced me not to. He said I should keep it on the back burner for a while and see if I want to do it again later. He didn't know me when I was a decorator, but he saw the photos and told me it would be a shame if I never did it again.

I want to share some photos, but it would so easy to trace them back to my old cake blog. Maybe I can find one or two photos that were never posted there.

Edit- January 2018 Once in a while these “reddit lore” posts pop up and someone mentions my confession and I think to check this account. I’m incredibly tickled to be a part of reddit lore!

I have a sort of hilarious update at this point. About a year and a half ago I was diagnosed with a wheat intolerance. My intestines decided they no longer wanted to digest wheat anymore. Woooo! I actually just thought I was dying for a few months. It was really stressful.

Anyway, I can’t even fuckin eat cake anymore. I still have all of my equipment and whatnot. I make a quick cake now and then. But trust me when I say gluten free cake mixes are better than anything I could make from scratch lol. Here’s a cute little cake I made for my birthday last year. It’s not amazing, but it’s not bad considering I rarely make cakes anymore.

I still receive SO MANY messages on this account. I’m sorry if I don’t reply, but I never check this account. I’ve got everything in that inbox from people trying to guess who I am, to people giving me recipes, to people begging me for cake photos and one guy who wanted a video of me eating cake 😳. Yikes.

Anyhow, I’m getting married (again woooo second time is a charm!) to a dude I met on reddit. And our wedding planner asked me to please not try to make my own wedding cake because she has seen it end in stressful disaster so many times. Im going to take her advice and leave the cake making to someone else!

(I do know reddit and I know some of you will call bullshit on this update, but that’s fine lol. I literally have no reason to lie and with all this personal information someone will probably finally realize who I am for sure haha)

Update February 23, 2019

The never ending editing lol.

I hadn’t logged into this account for over a year, but I saw someone mention me in a thread so I logged in real quick. A zillion messages in the ol inbox. Sorry... I don’t really have advice on how to start a cake decorating business. I just did my best and was mostly given business by word of mouth. Lots of people messaging to tell me I ripped people off. I mean... not really. People fuckin loved the cakes and when it’s all said and done a box of cake mix plus all the stuff it takes to make it into a cake probably cost around the same amount as the raw ingredients. And people loved the cakes so that’s whatever. Lots of people asking if I would be mad to find out that my wedding cake was made with box mix. No? Lol. Also i was not charging anyone bakery prices. Anyone giving me a few hundred dollars was paying me to make a massive cake that took me days to assemble and decorate.

Also my wedding was fantastically fabulous. We got a gluten free cake from Milk Bar and I paid another bakery $400 to make us a beautifully decorated two tier cake for the guests to eat. Everything was amazing.

"Oh and here’s some fuel to fire all of y’all’s weird hate lol. I found this at the grocery store the other day. I’m over here about to ice up some gluten free box mix cupcakes. 😂https://i.imgur.com/mPii0yW.jpg

Ps pls don’t give this account gold. I login to it like once a year. Save your money. Donate it to a charity or something instead."

6. aawwaayy's family reunions are very strange.

"Ok, so this is a secret I've kept for nearly 20 years.

During the summers when I was growing up, my parents would often leave my brother and I(I'm male) with our aunt and uncle who lived out in the country. It was great as they had 4 sons of ages close to ours so we had a lot of fun doing kids stuff."

One summer when I was 8, the oldest cousin was maybe 16. We somehow got talking and he asked me if I wanted to sleep in his room that night. He has the nicest room and bed so I was all for it. Got into bed and he asked if he could touch my penis. I was 8 and just thought it was ok so I let him. He rubs it for a bit and then asks me to do the same to him. So I do. This progresses and eventually I'm sucking his cock. I think I knew this was wrong so I said I didn't want to carry on. We stop and I go to sleep quite confused.

I wake up and he hands me some money and tells me never to tell anyone about what happened. Next night he tries to do the same thing.. But now all I care about is the money. So I do it. This carried on for 2 summers.

Eventually I got old enough to realize it was quite wrong regardless of the money and stopped.

I've not told anyone this. He's now married with 2 kids. I'm also married and we see them sometimes at family events. I don't have the balls to even try and talk to him about it.. Hell I'm not even sure what I'd say.

I'm sure this will get buried but just getting it off my chest makes me feel better.

Tldr I was a gay child hooker.

7. ThrownAway2389 seduced their wife in the shadiest way.

"I once helped out my a female friend's family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend's diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife."

8. throwawaything4899's trauma was made worse by their horrible "friends."

When I was 13, during the summer before I started high school, I was molested by a guy who dragged me into an alley, backed me into a corner so I couldn't escape (and even if I'd tried to, I couldn't have because he was taller and stronger than I was), and pulled my pants down. I tried to draw attention to where I was because I'd gone over to a guy's house with my friend because she liked him, and when we went he just happened to have a friend there to hang out with me while they went off and did whatever.

Anyway, I tried to shout and make as much noise as I could and the guy goes "This would be easier if you were laying down" and tried to force me to the ground. Then my friend finally shows up and goes "Omg -MyName- what are you doing?!" and the guy obviously doesn't go "Oh yeah no I was trying to rape her this was my idea", but instead goes "She was trying to have sex with me hahahahaha" and just walks away. Then my friend doesn't believe me when I tell her he DRAGGED me into the alley because she'd disappeared well before anyone could see him pulling on my arm with both hands and me trying to resist it as much as I could.

"I never told anyone because I didn't want them to react the same way my "friend" did. I think about it a lot and every day I say "Maybe this will be the day I finally tell my parents what happened" and then I never do. That was almost 6 years ago. My "friend" and I no longer speak, but I'd stopped being friends with her maybe 5 or 6 months after that because she told a couple of our other friends that I tried to have sex with a guy I'd known for all of 5 minutes during the summer."

9. morningandamazing felt forced to stay with their sick girlfriend.

"I don't want to be with my girlfriend anymore, but she might have cancer and I feel like I need to stay in the relationship.

EDIT: I have seen 50/50! EDIT: Hey so I thought I replied to this a few weeks ago (today's date is 11/4), but I can't seem to find where I replied. She's healthy and I split up with her before we found out. Yay for life working out!"

10. HalfEducated faked their college experience.

"I faked the last two years of college education. My parents put so much pressure on me I couldn't handle it (I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety) so I faked it all. Lied to everyone. Made up fake transcripts. I just got my foot in the door in my desired field thanks to a friend as they hired me as a subordinate. This place only hires college grads but no one double checked my credentials since I was recommended."

"My hopes is that if I need to find another job I'll have been at this place long enough to get it by experience alone (I work for a very prestigious company). I'm not bad at my job. I'm actually quite good. But my fear is eventually I'll hit a wall and the lie will come to light. No one has known this for the better part of a decade. It's a relief to finally say it "out loud." I can't even tell those I love. My silence is my prison."

11. iamfromcanada won his girlfriend over in a non-traditional way.

There was a girl who I had a crush on the moment I saw her on my college campus. She ended up dating a douchebag dude a few weeks later. I happened to end up sitting in a study room with him and a few mutual friends. He talked about how he didn't think she was that attractive and how he liked other girls. I wrote the girl an anonymous email using one of those websites telling her about the things I heard and how the guy was a dick. She ended up breaking up with him after she found out he was cheating.

The girl is now my girlfriend of 6 months. She has no idea (and is sitting across from me in the library). I've never told anyone this before.

EDIT: We've now been together 9 months and are going strong :)

EDIT #2: It's our one year anniversary tomorrow!

EDIT #3: I've gotten a number of requests for updates over the past few years. We're still together, going 3+ years strong and she's finally moved in with me! Life is great!

EDIT #4: Still going strong after 5 years. We've been living together in a big city and life is great. We've found things we're both really passionate about and can finish each other's sentences. I've always been a big believer of the 'Just Do It' mindset and this whole story is proof of it.

EDIT #5: Still getting occasional PMs as of early 2019. Happy to say we are still together, 7.5 years later. We’re living together in a big city and there’s probably a proposal in the cards sometime soon. You never know where a simple email may take you :)

12. throwaway3708 can never see his sister the same.

When I was 15 my parent's were going through a divorce, my mom worked night shifts and my dad was living with a friend of his. One night my sister who was 19 at the time came home pretty drunk from a party. She was acting goofy and fell on the couch next to me. She started grabbing my leg and laughing and we started fondling. We ended up having sex right there. When we woke up the next day she had no recollection of the night before so I just kept my mouth shut.

Fast forward to when I'm 18. Sister is home from college and dad is over for a visit. they get into an argument and in a fit of rage my dad announces how he has never forgiven her for the abortion she got when she was 19 and subsequently killing His grand child. (he's very religious)

I then realize the baby she aborted was in fact mine.....and as far as i know, I am the only one who knows since she has never mentioned that night.

13. ahemsoaptin's feces is in the wall.

"I once took a sh*t In the bathtub and then realising what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall. My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.

Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame."

14. erisavarria's daughter will never know the truth.

My daughter turns 5 next week. If anyone knew the truth behind her parentage, I could probably lose her forever.

I grew up in foster care, never knew my parents or siblings. In my senior year, I met an older guy and we dated for almost a year... getting pregnant about 7 months in. One night while we were watching tv, the subject somehow came around to our real parents (he had been adopted as a young child). Turns out the man I was seeing, the father of my daughter... is my half-brother... we have the same mother. Our relationship didn't last, and he is not in her life, per his own choices.

My daughter is extremely smart, beautiful, and well-rounded. She'll never know the truth... her father and I made a pact to never tell her. I just hope she never needs a kidney or something.

Edit: Keep reading about people who knowingly slept with relatives they grew up with... is it bad that I feel slightly less horrible?

15. Amgpu accidentally killed seven people.

"I accidentally killed seven people.

I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental.

I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of ems and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.

Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants were DEAD.

I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined; we have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down."

16. britishN*GGA hates their friends.

"I hate all of my friends. Literally. I don't have anything in common with any of them, and don't care. But I'm too scared to be alone and have no one else to go to so I keep hanging around with them."

17. Throwdisoffabridge took awhile to get over the deception of their youth.

Well, it's more of a secret to my friends that I've made recently. Some background first: I don't like being touched or hugged, and I'm incredibly uncomfortable with intimacy in general.

When I was in the 8th grade, a bunch of girls in my class convinced me they had a friend who fancied me (they said she had seen me somewhere and thought I was cute). Faked a MSN account and they talked to me every night for a few months, invited me out to the movies and (obviously) didn't show up, then revealed to the whole grade that I had been tricked into having an 'imaginary' girlfriend.

I was mocked viciously by everyone in the grade and ever since then I can't really trust women. I also can't believe that a girl may have feelings for me. Even when they explicitly tell me they have feelings for me I can't help but feel like they're trying to trick me. It's caused a lot of insecurity, and I can't get 'attached' to people easily. I'm terribly afraid to text, or message people first because I'm convinced I would be annoying them. What's worse is that when I think about it, I know it probably isn't true; but I can't help but feel like it is.

Even though it was grade 8, it was around the time when attraction to women was just starting to get 'real', so to be hurt at a time as delicate as that has really done some damage.

The secret of course is that I had been dumb enough to be tricked. As you might suspect, the whole thing has left me afraid of being vulnerable. To have this found out by my newer friends (as in, university friends) would put me in a really uncomfortable place. I probably wouldn't be able to be their friend anymore.

Thanks for reading, you're the first people I've told about what this event has actually done to me.

EDIT: I know people still read this thread. So I felt I should come back and that I owed people an update. I've since met such a fantastic woman, someone who makes me incredibly happy. I love her very much, she loves me, and she's helping me get used to the idea of feeling valuable and trusting people (or at least one person). She's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time (maybe ever).

I'm glad I got to come back to this post and finish it off with a happy ending. To all the people in the comments who were kind to me, or who shared their own similar experiences: you're always valuable and someone will notice.

18. rattlesnaker has an imaginary world.

I still have "imaginary friends." I'm almost 30.

I lost them for a while. I don't know why or how, but it they were gone. I couldn't see them or hear them any more, not the way I used to when I was younger. It made me was miserable. I kept hoping for a way to get them back.

Two weeks ago, I somehow managed to finally break through whatever the barrier was. I have spent the past two weeks hanging out with, and talking to, a character from a well-known TV show.

I can't really "see" him visually, but I can see him with my mind's eye. He goes almost everywhere with me. He's sitting on my bed right now, waiting for me to get off my computer. (I promised I would get off a little while ago, but I had to check reddit one last time.) He's been coming to work with me every day for the past two weeks. I share my food with him. (I kind of mentally duplicate it for him, since he can't touch it in reality.)

I love it. I'm happy again. I realize most people would say he isn't real, but something about him is. I don't care. He's real to me.

EDIT: Revision to my final thought -- I am scared that if anyone knew, I would be locked up and heavily medicated, but I acknowledge it's not really a likely scenario in my case.

EDIT2 (an update 5 years on): I have received so many amazing PMs over the past 5 years. I just wanted to say think you, and that if you read this and find it describes you, too... you are not alone! Probably a hundred people have PMed me saying they experience the exact same thing. And that's just from the subset of people on reddit who read this post. There are probably many, many more of us. People may think you're weird, or strange, but who you are is perfectly natural and you are not alone.

Many PMs also directed me to r/tulpas, and I was active on there for a while as AnImaginarium. I'm not active still but if you are like me, you may find some comfort there!

Some people were able to find later in the comments where I copped to the fact the character in question was Castiel from Supernatural, but some people missed that, so stating it here now. Castiel still exists around in my head but is presently on sabbatical; I spend most of my time nowadays with my brother, Malcolm, who was on Star Trek: Enterprise. He's the best! But he's a private person so I'll respect that. I also spend a decent amount of time with Will (from The Good Wife), who is our other brother, but only when he's not busy working on cases or spending time with Alicia.

"Yes, imaginary universes have legal systems and need lawyers, too. Will had a practice with Allen Shore for a while until Allen got appointed a judge. Now he's partners with Romo Lampkin and a woman who was an RP character of mine briefly in college, Mary Aberfoyle. Aberfoyle/Gardner/Lampkin, or AGL. Definitely give them a call if you're in a multiverse legal entanglement, they'll take care of your needs! (LOL)

Anyway, best wishes from me and mine to you and yours!"

19. YourHotBabysitter is afraid their babysitting days will come back to haunt them.

The story I tell is that my first kiss was 9 years ago, when I was 14, with my now fiancee. False.

When I was 13, I babysat an 8 year old boy. His parents were very open, and he was very sexually aware (I caught him watching porn a couple of times). From the start, he was very aggressive, always grabbing me and trying to kiss me. After a while, oddly impressed with this new sort of attention, and very curious about kissing, one night we started making out. This became routine, and went on for probably almost a year, before I realized how horrific and wrong my actions were. I continued to babysit him for a while, but soon his parents stopped calling me. I've always wondered why. I'm terrified that I'll one day be exposed as a child molester.

tl;dr As a 13 year old girl, I frequently made out with an 8 year old.

20. a_blackmailer can never see their dad the same.

"When I was 13 I caught my father in bed with my 15 year old brother's girlfriend (also 15). I haven't seen her since, but I've been blackmailing my father with it for the last 6 years."

21. FelineOfTheSea has been pretending to be Australian for a long time

"After graduating from high school, I went to a small out-of-state college where no one from high school knew me. I was told many times how impressive my false Australian accent was, so I decided it would be great fun to go through college pretending to be from Australia. All of my friends and even my girlfriend of two years think I'm Australian. I have a completely fake Australian identity, family, and past. I will soon be graduating, and I plan on asking the girl to marry me. Everything she knows about me is Australian I don't know how to tell her she doesn't really know me. Guess I'm forever a bloke."

22. tossed_away_1900 saw too much.

21years ago. I was assigned to a DMAT. I was a young man and full of life inside. We handled some pretty bad emergencies. There was one event that killed me inside. We flew in to one dispatch and knew it was bad going in. Fatalities and Level1 trauma patients. Unknown how many and no full situation.

So we are flying in gearing up for the patients and securing any hazardous material leaks or fires. We get on scene. We find two expired, one alive with really bad injuries. We were used to that and trained to deal with it. I was carrying gear back and forth securing any leaks I could find. We did not know if there were any other occupants in the vehicle. Part of my task that day. Was to make sure since I was the rover.

When I got to one side of the auto. Checking what was left of the cabin for other patients or bodies. I seen a child of about 4. Trapped under the vehicle. I called for the other merts. Asking for a crush kit. There was no child seat in the auto. No one was wearing safety belts.. Which was common and many people were ejected from wrecks.

Nothing in my training ever prepared my 25 year old mind for what I saw. A child's eyes looking up at me then around. I seen help me and fear in them. Even though that small person was dead essentially. I still as always in the worst cases. Had hope for life and fought for it.

The child was smeared under the car. all that was left was the head pretty much. The pressure of the auto kept what blood was there in the brain. How the head was alive for so long. Haunted me... I resigned the next day.

I will not let someone hurt, suffer. I took an oath and meant it. I resigned because I lost all empathy for other humans that day. I do not feel suffering what so ever... I am dead inside. I've been married 4 times. Each time, they cannot handle me not showing any emotion. I can run through the proper words, but they realize. I simply do not mean it.

You might think I am an unhappy or depressed man. No, I am not unhappy. You might think me angry. I am not angry or a sociopath. I am not. I am just indifferent to feeling emotions. the head shrinks reported I am not dangerous to myself or others. They wanted me on drugs. None worked, so for the last ten years. I have simply just lived and have done my best. Being a good person. Even though I can give a shit about others or myself.

23. mfs51 is forcing their son to get help.

"My son attempted suicide and now he's pissed at me because I'm making him see a shrink. This post makes me think I'm doing the right thing. So thanks."

24. crazierthanuthought misses the hallucinations.

Edit 03/12/2019: I know it's been over four years since I posted this but I still check back from time to time because I still get occasional PM's. PM me at /u/imstillwatchingyou if you want to talk.

I used to hear voices. For years. It started when I'd walk into my room and say hello to my Lain poster (I've always over personified objects) and eventually she started responding. Over time I could talk to her elsewhere, I'd pull her up when I was sitting in class or riding the bus, and I'd put on headphones so nobody would notice I was talking to myself since it was barely audible. Eventually Lain told me she was a god and I was too, and there were two others, but they didn't really like me so they would almost never talk to me.

A long time later, maybe years, she started being really mean, and it turned out there was another voice who was just pretending to be Lain named Misery. This one was stereotypical, everything I did was wrong and I had to pay for my actions, I should cut myself if I was ungraceful, everyone hated me, etc. Lain split again, and this time she was sisterly.

When I was upset and crying myself to sleep I could feel her holding me and telling me everything would be alright. Misery looked different but could look like Lain if she wanted to fool me (although she would turn back into herself when I called her out on it), and the two Lains all looked the same, so I could only tell who they were when they started responding to me.

After a while they all just disappeared. I guess I saned up, because during the peek it never occurred to me I was hearing voices, they truly were gods who were speaking to me, and later during the time period I realized that I was hallucinating with delusions of grandeur. Then at one point I realized that there was more of me and less of them, when I pulled them up it was a conscious effort and part of their responses were forced on my part. Then eventually I just gave them up, they were so weak that it was really just like talking to myself and not to other people that lived in my head.

That's not my secret, I've mentioned it to a few very select people that I truly trust. My secret is that I miss them. I miss them with with all my heart. Even Misery. They were friends and family, they were close to me, they understood me, and they were always there for me. Now even with real friends and family, there's nobody that close. I can't just pull up someone to talk to when I'm lonely, I have to call up a real person and that person never knows what I want to talk about or what I'm hiding from them, they only know what I say.

Lain (the main one) would always call me on my bullshit and make me keep changing my answer until I told her the truth. Misery could always find my biggest weaknesses, which allowed me to work on strengthening them. Sisterly Lain could calm me down in a way that's unimaginable, you can't comprehend how good it feels to be hugged by someone inside of you.

And now I feel lonelier than I have in years because I almost never think of that time or remember how it felt, but tonight I'm sitting by myself at 2am and all I can think about is how much I want a voice to talk to and it's been so long since I had one and I'd give anything to have another psychotic break so I could get back all my friends that live in my head.

I once had a psychotic episode where I could talk to clouds and I could feel how much they loved me, the clouds, the trees, the birds, they were all my friends and they all loved me and they all wanted me to be happy. I had that feeling on mushrooms once, everything in the world loved me, every single thing, the house, the ceiling, the lamp, each blade of grass, it all loved me and it was the best feeling I have ever known, that was the best night of my life. I can't tell you how much I want to feel that again, I just have no way of tracking them down again.

Being crazy feels amazing, whether it's good or bad. Even the bad crazy where I'd stay awake all night because I knew something was going to get me in my sleep and I'd try to claw the evil out of my skin, even that's preferable to being normal because the intensity is indescribable. I miss everything about being crazy. I miss it more than I can possibly describe.

25. lostangels12345 has the political dirt.

This isn't necessarily something that could ruin my life, but it could ruin many others. I haven't told anyone before.

My father recently went to prison for white collar crime that he plead guilty to. He didn't commit this crime, but the alternative was fighting a highly sensationalized, media obsessed, scape-goat case and potentially getting 20+ years.

"While he was in prison, I read his little blue book, which i knew contained all the missteps of everyone he's worked with. he has always been an extremely scrupulous man, so these offenses were something he took seriously enough to note. I have information on countless state employees, incredibly prominent and wealthy community members, numerous elected city/state officials, and police officers. this information could ruin lives and start political controversy."

"My father is an incredible man and is not vengeful whatsoever. He will never use any of this info against these people, despite the fact that most completely turned on him and stayed uninvolved at all costs or started pointing fingers. when I picture my aging father sitting in a maximum security jail cell sleeping on a metal sheet without a mattress (he wasn't give one until his 5th night), I am filled with rage for these people who could have stood up for their friend and prevented this, while he still continues to be loyal. I still haven't decided which campaigns, if any, I'm going to ruin in the upcoming elections.

26. fayuluire pretends to snuggle with a girl they like.

"Every night when I go to bed, I have a little pillow and assortment of blankets that I pretend is this girl I like. She would never like me in real life (in fact, she doesn't), so I just play pretend. It's inherently creepy but it's what keeps me from being a total wreck all the time."

27. nottherealjethrotull accidentally killed a man with a marble.

When I was about 12 I went with some family to the family dollar. My mother and cousins went off to go look at generic groceries so I decided I would just spend my time hanging out in the toy aisle, in the toy aisle there would always be these bags of marbles that other kids would open and leave laying there so I decided to fling marbles across the floor and one just happened to reach one of the far off aisles.

So about two minutes later I hear a loud crash and someone scream "Somebody help this man!". Being the curious child I was, I ran over to see what the commotion was about and I find everyone gathered around this guy who had seem to have fallen from the ladder as he was getting something off the top shelf. The guy is seizing out and blood is coming from his head as he laid there and his face seemed to be turning blue.

My mother whisked me and my cousins away and we left. Next time we went we talked to the front cashier and she said that they called the paramedics but by the time they got there he had died from choking. Apparently when he had the seizure he was choking on his own tongue. The cause for the fall according to the front cashier was that he had put the ladder on a marble and didn't check it before he got on it. When I heard what the cashier said I just stood in disbelief thinking I was going to jail, I tried telling my mother many times but all she did was say that I imagined it. TL;DR Killed a man with a marble in a family dollar.

28. Throwaway36363636 has illegal fantasies.

"I'm a 25-year-old female high school teacher. I've gotten myself off on multiple occasions while fantasizing about f*cking one of my 16-year-old male students on top of the desk in my classroom."

29. DuncanGilbert has no feelings about their mother's death.

"My mom died when I was 17 and when it comes up I use it to garner attention for myself. In reality, I never met her and she has never meant anything to me other then a name.

I feel so empty"

30. Thewalterd61 found love in a hopeless place.

"Had serious depression my whole life. Three minor suicide attempts countless other thoughts of just stepping on the gas peddle and slamming into a wall. Lost my job a couple years back and hit an all time low. Took a shitty job at a grocery store. Found out my wife was pregnant and thought the best thing for her and the baby would be for me to not be around anymore. On my last day i planned to live my wife tells me our baby is the size of a sweet pea. I smile and act happy knowing I will never see that sweet pea. Go to work in the morning and near the end of my shift I'm standing in the frozen department and am near tears. Close my eyes and ask myself whats the point time to end this."

"Then I hear someone yell my wife's name loud. Twice. I look over and see a lady who happens to have my wife's name. Ok. Just a coincidence. Then I look down and see in holding a box of sweet peas. I start crying and go home. Tell me everything. Got the help I need. The sweet pea is two now and has a sister on the way. I live my life for them. They saved me. Just remember that no matter how bad it gets there are people out there who love you and want to help. Don't be afraid to ask. Be strong reddit and stay alive for the ones that love you."

"The country habit has me by the heart."

-Vita Sackville West

If you're just a small town country girl or boy at heart, these memes will be relatable as heck. After growing up in a town of 600 people, I can definitely say these memes will make anyone from the country giggle. Get ready to laugh, folks.

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When does caring about someone's health cross the line into "fat-shaming"? A dad shared his story on Reddit after his ex-wife accused him of "fat-shaming" their daughter and commenters are divided on whether he did the right thing or not. He claims that he's simply looking out for his teenaged daughter's health by trying to restrict her diet, since she's "morbidly obese." The situation is further complicated by the fact that her brother, an athlete, is permitted to eat whatever he wants in her presence. Oy vey. No one ever said parenting—or being a teenager—was easy!!!

The dad explains that he has two kids, both teens, male (14) and female (17). His son is an athlete and "in shape" while his daughter he describes as "morbidly obese."

He says she's always "struggled" with her weight but particularly in the past few years due to "stress-eating" related to her parents' divorce.

I'm putting fat-shaming in quotes because while it's obviously wrong, I don't think I did so. I'm directly quoting my ex-wife.

I have two kids, Harry (14M) and Sally (17F). Besides gender, they are also polar opposites in terms of everything else. While Harry is a staple of the baseball team, Sally fits in much better in the drama club. I love both of my kids regardless of their interests (I was a bookworm in high school myself).

Where Harry is very in shape, Sally is not. She has always struggled with her weight a bit but over the past two years she's reached the point where she's "morbidly obese". I think the overeating is stress-related from the divorce, and my ex-wife refuses to work with me on any sort of diet plan (she'll visit me on a weekend and tell me that the ex let her drink soda the entire time).

He says this past weekend his son asked for three burgers at a cookout and his daughter tried to ask for the same. He allowed his athletic son to have three burgers, but told his daughter it would "be better" to stick to "one or two" because she should be "trying to lose weight."

Anyway, this weekend I was cooking burgers and taking orders. Harry ordered three patties (he had been practicing all morning and was starving) and I said no problem. Sally then tried to ask for the same. I won't transcribe the whole conversation, but basically I told her she would be better to sticking to one or two because she should be trying to lose weight and that she wasn't burning off these calories. She then asked me why Harry could have three while she couldn't, and I was honest that he was burning off the calories while she wasn't.

His daughter is now "extremely upset" and her mother/his ex-wife is angry and accusing him of "fat-shaming" their daughter.

Anyway, Sally is extremely upset and not talking to me, the ex is fuming at me for fat-shaming, and Harry told me he has to eat less to make Sally's diet easier on her. I'm just wondering if I'm the asshole.

Though he clearly thinks he did the right thing, the dad took to Reddit to question if he's the "a**hole" in the situation.

This is a tricky one—because clearly the dad means well and his intentions are pure. But it's also easy to understand how his words and actions could come across as hurtful to his daughter, even putting her mental health at risk.

dimolition, speaking from personal experience, says the dad did the right thing:

You have a NTA here. I used to be obese all through highschool, basically entered and exited puberty well above any form of ideal weight. To clarify I was never near the morbid line, but was still large enough to cause lasting damage to my skin and most importantly to my joints, I was basically raised to believe that I should eat as much and as often as I wanted and that would be fine.

As much as being candidly called fat by my father at that point would have hurt, being allowed to destroy my health was much, MUCH worse. I had to really develop health issues to get a hang of myself at the age of 21. I'm a pretty fit guy at the moment but that kind of fat does lasting damage and people who glorify it are much worse for society and the individual, compared to those trying to "shame" you into shape.

Keep on through with your efforts to help your daughter, if you truly believe she might be going through emotional issues go-ahead talk to her, if it's not straight forward enough for you to handle it on your own, suggest therapy, it will show when she's older and she will be very grateful, I wish you the best of luck with your endeavour, wish I had someone like you when it mattered.

But Kookalka disagrees with the commenter above, claiming this dad's situation is not the same and that he could be putting his daughter at high risk for an eating disorder:

I don’t think your situation is the same as the scenario being discussed here. The daughter is being taught shitty food habits by the mom, yes, but by OP’s own admission, she’s dealing with a lot of emotional issues. Her parents are divorced and not co-parenting well (seeing as the mom won’t even discuss dietary issues with OP). Telling her she’s fat and to eat less isn’t going to do anything, except possibly drive her further into depression and food. I know because this is exactly how my family dealt with my depression and obesity. The result? A horrifying eating disorder that I battled for the better part of 2 decades. But at least I’m thin!

If OP really wants to help his daughter, making her feel bad for her choices isn’t the answer. What he needs to do is get her a nutritionist [EDIT: dietician. As explained in the replies, there’s a big difference and I shouldn’t have used them synonymously.] and give her the skills to succeed. Teach her how to cook for herself. Share delicious and easy recipes. Take her on hikes or outdoor activities where she can be active. Be a positive influence in her life instead of just another adult calling her fat. Because I guarantee he’s neither the first nor the last, but he is TA.

RealRealGood agrees, pointing out that even if his intentions are good, the way he's handling the situation is not going to be effective and will probably just make her feel worse:

"maybe you shouldn't have that soda"

I know your intentions aren't bad, but comments like this don't work. They will just make your daughter feel like shit and more likely to eat in hiding or shame. If you want to encourage her healthy eating, your whole family has to eat healthy. Don't keep soda in the house. Use positive reinforcement when she chooses healthy foods. Passive aggressive comments like this quote will only make things worse, and cause her to feel resentful.

Khaleesi1997 agrees, writing:

A couple of friends of mine had parents say stuff like this to them about not eating this and not eating that. All of them went on to develop eating disorders. They are better now with help through therapy, but they talk about what their teen years would have been if their parents had encouraged them to eat healthy instead of just not eating at all.

sweatyhamburger thinks the dad should discuss the issue with her in a more sensitive way, not in front of her brother, and also suggests therapy:

Have you spoken to your daughter about this issue before? I don't think you're wrong for addressing the issue, but it's pretty crappy to do that in front of her brother.

Edit: if she's stress eating, she probably needs therapy btw

b-rand1998 offers a suggestion for how he can "encourage" his daughter to lose weight without hurting her feelings:

If I can add on to this,

Encouragement goes a long long way. I was on the heavy side in high school and started working out with my brother and his friends my senior year. They were trying to big to be on the football team, they were sophomores at the time. There was no negative energy when we were lifting weights together since we were all beginners and all had different body weights and sizes. It went a long way for me and changes how I treat my body so my suggestion to OP is to encourage your daughter to exercise and have fun with it. Get a gym membership with her and your son. If hes in baseball he can show you both some of his workouts he does with the baseball team. It doesnt have to be lifting weights, it can be dancing or cycling or anything really. Lift her up, not tear her down. I'm gonna go with NTA on intentions but lead by example. That's my 2 cents on it anyway. To your daughter, good luck! Exercise for me became an addiction.

And nemesina77 suggests he take his daughter to the doctor to get her hormone levels checked, as hormonal imbalances are often a cause of weight gain:

Take your daughter to an endocrinologist and get her hormome levels checked! I didn't get properly diagnosed until 28 when I had trouble conceiving. It turned out I'd had PCOS with insulin resistance for 15 years, at least.

Don't assume her "over eating" is due to stress or stress alone. Insulin resistance means you're constantly hungry. Insulin resistance is pre diabetes.

Please get her checked out - my life would have been a lot easier if I'd been diagnosed as a teenager. Losing weight in your 30s is so much harder than your teens.

If her hormones show elevated levels getting oral birth control for hormone regulation and metformin for insulin resistance will help immensely.

Getting her on a modified food diet after she starts the medication will also help - Atkins is good, but many with PCOS have turned to Keto which has helped many lose lots of weight.

Good luck!

This is a tough issue and clearly a divisive one. But while this dad may not have handled the situation perfectly, at least he's asking for help and trying to do the right thing. Which sadly isn't always the case.

Divorce should never be a shock since the odds of it happening are very high. But it often does seem surprising when couples who made it official decide to make it un-official—especially when they've been together for a long time. But just because you've been with your spouse for decades doesn't mean things can't reach a breaking point. Someone recently asked Reddit:"Husbands and wives that got divorced after 20 years of marriage, what made you decide to change your mind after all that time?"

These 18 divorcees, soon-to-be divorcees and friends/family of divorcees share what the final tipping point was after decades of marriage:

1.) From csudebate:

Therapy changed my mind. After more than a decade of being miserable I finally got help. When I was able to really talk about my marriage was when I realized that I needed to get the fuck out.

At the end of the day, I stayed in a shitty marriage because the thought of ‘being alone’ scared me. Through therapy I was clued in to how many wonderfully supportive friends and family members I had if I just reached out to them. I wasn’t going to be in a relationship anymore but I wasn’t alone either.

2.) From msscahlett:

My husband began surreptitiously going to strip clubs. He stole about $200 a week from various accounts and a business I owned to fund these activities. He lost is job because he went there so often at lunch and would just stay. We had young kids and so I stayed after he got some therapy. He was never honest with the therapist. About a year ago I learned he was doing it again. Plus texting strippers. My youngest kid graduates high school this year.

I’ve done what’s best for everyone else for 20 years now. This September was 21 years. I don’t anticipate having a 22nd anniversary.

It’s really scary to think of being alone. I don’t hate him. I feel sorry for him. I know he will feel very sad and lonely when I’m gone. But being near him feels like having my soul ripped from my body every day.

3.) A happy ending, from murmathon:

Didn’t get divorced but started the process after about 25 years. Stuck it out for a few more years for the kids and ended up falling in love with her after the kids moved out. Relationships follow cycles, so glad I stuck it out.

4.) From thepettypineapple:

My parents split up after nearly 30 years. My dad was an asshole my entire life, so when they finally divorced when I was 18, there was no surprise. He’d been cheating for years and I think he was the one who finally asked for it.

I think my mom stayed because she couldn’t afford to start over. She spent her life putting my dad through school and wasn’t educated herself. She had no family or anyone who could help her either. There was definitely some confidence issues on her part too.

5.) From acewing:

Obligatory not me, my parents. My dad filed for divorce after 25 years of marriage. My mom was shellshocked. My dad was absolutely miserable but the signs of a failed marriage were always present.

My dad is very emotional and is quick to anger. He never really handled failure very effectively and would be mad instead of constructive. My mom very family oriented and was adamant that we never move farther than 40 miles from Chicago. Hell, when I was going away to college, she bawled to my dad to force me to go to a school closer to home.

In a way, I think my dad resented my mom for never letting him travel or get away from Chicago. It also doesn’t help that I’m fairly certain my mom become (undiagnosed) depressed once her mom died. All she would do was do her bare minimum at her job (a schoolbus driver), come home and sleep, finish her route for the day, cook a hamburger helper meal for the family, and then play angry birds on her iPad.

It’s really weird seeing your parents divorce in your 20s. You’re adult enough to speak candidly and neither of them likes what you have to say about them during or after the fact. The silver lining out of it is my sisters and I know how not to behave in a relationship.

6.) From cheesecakeandchill:

Not me, but my grandmother once told me that she was considering divorcing her husband of over 50 years. The reason she gave me was, “We stayed together for the kids. Now the kids are all grown up and have lives of their own. And now I can’t ignore the small things about him (my grandpa) that annoy me.”

She didn’t go through with it but she seemed sincere when she said it. It broke my heart, especially since I only ever saw the best side of him.

7.) From VA_Wineaux:

We were together for 20 years, married for 15. We started as high school sweethearts, but we eventually realized that we weren't the same people we were when we fell in love. We also realized that that wasn't going to change. We decided that the best way for everyone to be happy for the rest of our lives was to end it on peaceful terms before we were both 70 and resentful of each other for trapping each other in an unhappy marriage for 40+ years

8.) From AfghanHokie:

I worked at a law firm that only practiced family law (divorces, child custody, wills & estates, etc). At one time we had like 8 clients getting divorced after 20+ years of marriage and they were all high ranking military men whose wives came out of the closet after all their kids had grown up and moved out of the house and the guys were getting ready to retire. I thought it was so weird, but I guess for whatever reason the women thought that their duties to their husbands and families were coming to an end and they wanted to live for themselves. I guess I know why they couldn't come out 30 years ago, it was a different time but I was curious why they were all attracted to military guys? I assume maybe cause it meant their husbands would be away for years at a time during their service?

9.) From writesandthrowsaway:

My Dad had multiple affairs and my Mom got tired of it. There was also alcoholism and both parents were workaholics.

My Dad remarried a lovely woman, and so did my Mom. Oh, that may have been an issue too.

10.) From TheDadVan:

About to start the process myself. 19 years married, together 21.

Now that the kids are older, self-sufficient, 2 of the 3 are driving, don't need their hands held for every little thing it will be a lot easier on them.

It's all I can do to get 5 minutes of her attention in a day. She has her head down in her kik chat app from the moment she gets up and back home and goes to bed. She's been meeting guys ("Just friends I swear") from Kik 'for lunch' and getting a lot of massages with her therapist at weird hours of the evening. Of course she's cheating although she swears she isn't. She turns her iphone location services off most of the time she is out.

6 months ago she started getting her lashes done, brows, tans, goes to the gym, walks for exercise, massages 3-4 times a month. She gets pissed when I text her asking what she's doing or when she will be home or if she will be home for dinner.

So, after all this time it's clear she doesn't want time or anything else from me, so might as well let her go do her thing.

11.) From TheBrontosaurus:

A friend of mine was married for nearly thirty years two kids. As she put it they’d been “playing divorce chicken for a decade” there weren’t any concrete reasons to get divorced they didn’t fight they actually got along very well. They just weren’t in love any more.

there was always a good pragmatic reason for them to stick together, they co-parented effectively, they actually liked each other, they kept saying their marriage was probably better than a lot of people’s.

A few years ago they just decided it was time, they went out for drinks and started hashing out how to divide their assets, they agreed on a fifty fifty split. They got a lawyer to make everything legit and a few months later they got divorced. My friend’s ex-husband rented a house a few blocks away so they kids could easily walk between mom’s and dad’s house.

About six months after the divorce was finalized my friend’s ex husband set her up with a new boyfriend. They go on double dates, they go to parent teacher conferences together.

12.) From shalste2:

My parents got divorced after 22 years of marriage. They were never in love and didn’t even like each other. They had me and then my sister a few years later and wanted to stay together for the kids. 12 years after I was born they had my brother and that kept the cycle going. I wish I could say they are happy now, but they still like to cause trouble for each other. We’re due with our first child soon and they’re gonna have to figure out how to be grandparents together. Thankfully I’m 1500 miles from them so it won’t be a headache often.

13.) From RoboOverlord:

Well funny story. My parents were high school sweet hearts, and married for 22 years. Then they got divorced when I was 6. My dad remarried and had another kid, and got divorced again. My mom never did.

Fast forward about 30 years. I got married. My parents were in the same room for the first time in 30 years and were flirting like teenagers. I have video of it. It really is pretty amusing to watch. Until I remember it's my parents.

They have been "dating" since I got married. That was more than 5 years ago. They are virtually living together, and both of them think it's funny to allude to their sex life around me so that I'll be embarrassed. Which still works, despite my age.

As to your question. My mom says that my dad has mellowed and turned into "not a bad guy". My dad says my mom is exactly the same, except her waist. I think they both never found anyone they liked as much as each other. Or hated as much as each other. And if that isn't marriage, I don't know what the hell is.

14.) From jfog352002:

Parents divorced after 25 years when my mom had what we thought at the time was a midlife crisis. She told my dad by draining $3k from the joint checking account to fund her divorce lawyer. Six years later they were officially divorced since she blew through that money on different lawyers that kept firing her as a client.

We later ruled out mid life crisis when her behavior started to become more odd, erratic, and paranoid. She was in her early 50s when this behavior started.

Now we (myself and my sister in law with psychology experience) think she has late onset bipolar and I say "think" since we can't get her officially diagnosed since she believes nothing is wrong with her. She lives in NY and it is super hard to commit someone there unless they are a danger to themselves or other people. She's not dangerous, just can't hold down a job and lives in her car due to her own insubordinate sporadic paranoid behavior but blames everyone else.

No she's not a narcissist, just mentally ill since she was never like this when we were growing up. She was very selfless and caring when she was younger.

15.) From luckyleighton:

I will be one of the few that speaks from experience. I have been married 20 years, and we are on the edge. The answer is that life changes you. When you start out the relationship is it's own thing, it is cultivated and grows. Then over the years add some children and full time jobs, and there is less time to cultivate (or none). You end up becoming life partners to run the household, and wonder why you are even together. Since there are no good times, all that is left are arguments and bad times. This is all normal, and on top of that you are both going through the personal struggles of living. To be honest, staying married is tougher than most people think in an age without Divorce Social Stigma. The kids do keep you together, hoping somehow you can rekindle something that once existed.

And this is in a situation with two good people trying to do the right thing, and not a toxic situation with abuse.

16.) From Senepicmar:

She cheated for years, plain and simple. Ended our 22 year marriage.

TBH, don't even want to work through it. Now that we've separated for a while, I realize how toxic she'd become. I'm a much better man without her

17.) From therealrsr:

Her cheating, lying and taking up bath salts.

18.) From timbrouckaert:

Not 20 years of marriage, only 16, but 21 years together with my ex.

We both had a non-loving home situation. So maybe this drove us together. We bought our first house when we were 3 year together, and since then, there was always the fear of being left alone, leave the other one, and myself in debts. We bought a second home (sold the first one), had kids (lovely twin daughters), bought a third home (sold the second one). But my wife still wasn't happy with life. And this all pushed down on me. There was no affection between us.

Also I was very insecure about myself, thought women didn't really like me. But then my eyes opened, I started doing yoga, went to a therapist, and after a year or 2 I felt secure enough to make this really heavy decision. The toughest part was for my daughters (9 years then).

I really quickly met someone new, and after her someone else. So my complexes about my looks are completely gone. I started a new life, my kids are ok with it now.

It was the hardest, but best decision in my life.

Also my ex had it really hard, she didn't see it coming, although she told me several times she wanted to divorce. She blamed me for everything. But now she also has someone new, mutual friends are telling me she is happy. So I think for her this was good after all.

And they all lived happily ever after.

"Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook."

-J Fischer

Waking up in the morning straight-up sucks. These memes are guaranteed to help ease the pain. We can't cure your hangover or cross any of the million things off of your to-do list, but at least we can make you laugh right now.

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