Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

22 of the funniest editorial mistakes of the decade.

$
0
0

Even journalists make mistakes sometimes.

It's been a desperately long decade with a lot of interesting, shocking, and tragic news. If someone told you in 2010 that reality TV millionaire trust fund baby Donald Trump would be president you probably would either laugh or run to Canada.

When covering serious news, especially in light of the fake news disasters of 2016, it's critically important to get the facts straight. (And, that means the true facts not the "alt-facts.") Sometimes, though, editorial mistakes are undeniably hilarious.

Here are the greatest, cringe-inducing journalistic nightmares of the 2010s for you to laugh at before we make a whole lot more in the 2020s.

1. OUCH.

2. Thank you.

3. WHAT?

4. YIKES.

5. This is critically important stuff.

6. Chicken fashion is always up for debate.

7. True art.

8. Sorry, Boston...

9. There has to be a backstory here about Kansas.

10. This is madness.

11. Oops...

12. The wins.

13. Ketamine is dangerous.

14. Aw!

15. Wow.

16. Big difference.

17. Important.

18. OH NO.

19. How dare you insult our queen.

20. Welp.

21. Only in his dreams.

22. Devastating.


28 people share the craziest things they have done while blackout drunk.

$
0
0

Alcohol is like your worst best friend, the kind of friend that convinces you to do all kinds of regrettable things in the name of a "good time." As a former routine blackout drinker, I know very well that binge-drinking can lead to all kinds of bizarre and humiliating behaviors. The things I would do in a blackout were embarrassing enough to make me want to join the witness protection program—although ultimately I ended up in a different kind of program. An anonymous one.

I may no longer enjoy a cocktail, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a story about the insanity caused by heavily imbibing. In fact, I find these stories helpful as they remind me why I'll be drinking club soda on New Year's Eve.

Someone asked Reddit: "What is something you did while black out drunk that you still to this day cannot believe you did?" These 28 people share stories of the wildest things they ever did while under-the-influence of alcohol.

DRINK RESPONSIBLY, KIDDOS.

1.) From john_john_john_john_:

Apparently i drank a red Gatorade from the fridge and later threw up in the bathtub and my roommates thought I was throwing up blood. Of course no one called 911 lol instead they decided to wait till the morning and ask "bro was that blood?"

2.) From TheNotoriousKAT:

I once ate a bag of Hot Cheetos while I was drunk.

A little while later my drunk sister found me laying in the back yard barfing them back up. She thought it was blood, and sat next to me crying telling me what what I good brother I was, and how she didnt know what she would do without me and begged me not to leave her (die).

Once I was done throwing up enough to explain that it was just Hot Cheetos, she got very upset and yelled at me for making her think I was dying. I got mad at her for not calling me an ambulance and just letting me die in the backyard!

3.) From Delica:

For some reason, my friend wanted to show that he could do a lot of squats. We both pulled our pants down next to his fire pit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and did a lot of squats.

I didn’t remember this, so I woke up terrified by how sore I was from bowling before the drinking started.

I honestly spent all week having a crisis about “This is it. I’m getting old and my body can’t handle physical activity.” Then my friend told me his gf kept teasing him about us doing squats with our pants around our ankles, and I freaked out like “Aaahhh fuck yes! I’m not getting old yet! I can still do things!”

4.) From 20CharacterLimitOnly:

I once shit on a cop car, there was dashcam footage released looking for any info on who it might be and I recognized my hat and sweatshirt.

5.) From blickblock1000:

allegedly i was saying something and spat while i was talking. A guy said "aye bro you just spit on me" and instead of apologizing like i would any other time i said "i spit on all my bitches". Then the fight started.

6.) From ilovemygyro:

Threw up on a band in Nashville during a live show.

Girlfriend at the time needed to find an ATM so I drunkenly followed her. When she found one, I sat on the concrete against a metal railing. I knew I was going to be sick so I stuck my head through the railing and vomited my heart out.

What I didn't realize was that it was actually about a 15 foot drop between me and the concrete. Where a band was playing...with an entire audience watching.

7.) From recklesschopchop:

Punched my friend right in the face. Apparently I said I would, then he said "you won't" so I did.

I still can't believe it.

8.) From SimplyReddit5:

i got on a strangers parked motorcycle and pretended like i was riding it. then the owner came up and asked me if i wanted to go for a ride. so we went for a ride around the city. it was fun but could have ended very differently.

9.) From nighthawk580:

Told my then gf (now wife) at her own birthday party at volume in front of a few other friends that we were leaving because "I wanna fuck". This is way out of character. I'm a real introvert and quiet.

Then when she got me home I threw up all over our bed.

Woke up in bed with a towel under me and a blanket on top with no idea what had happened but I knew it must be bad.

Weirdly she forgave me really quickly.

10.) From Xe1ex:

One of the guys in my group of friends was dating a girl. They had been together awhile, and the rest of us weren't crazy about her. Maybe because we were all young (early 20s) and he was the first one of us with a serious relationship and so we didn't see him as often.

I got ridiculously drunk at a party, and ended up declaring my love for some girl I had just met, then passing out in the bathroom on the floor with the dogs. I was found at some point, and people were amused at my expense. My friend's girlfriend, rather than mocking me, helped me out. She took me upstairs, gave me some water, and put me to bed. Before passing out again I said something along the lines of "you're really awesome, I don't know why everyone says you're a bitch."

We didn't see our friend much for awhile. Eventually things smoothed over. They got married and I was invited, so no permanent damage done. Still, I couldn't believe I said something so stupid. I've also never gotten that drunk again.

11.) From Nissir:

I was 18 and living with some friends on a farm house in the country, as one of the few people in my social group living alone, we tended to throw some solid parties. I woke up one Sunday morning and my shoulders, back, and hands were killing me. I had a few serious blisters on my hands and had no clue where they had come from. I went downstairs, and there had to be 15 or so people passed out all over the living room, dining room, and kitchen. I woke up a friend of mine and asked him why everyone was still here. He groggily tells me that I wouldn't let anyone drive home drunk, so I had chopped down a tree, and it had fallen across the long driveway to the road. I walked about 50 yards down the driveway, and sure enough, I had chopped down a tree somewhere around 1 or 2 am, and it fell straight across the drive, blocking anyone from going home. I had to walk a few miles down the road to our nearest neighbor and ask him very nicely if he would be willing to bring his tractor over to our place and pull a tree out of the driveway. An hour an a half later, my friends all left in a conga line of cars 10 deep.

12.) From ericscharr:

Without being told to do so, I decided to climb down a ladder onto a frozen canal in Netherlands. Jumped up and down until the ice broke. Then sprinted a mile to get to my friends apartment while drenched.

13.) From gunsinmypetticoat:

In total, I’ve blacked out maybe 4 times since college. I did a lot of shameful things but the one that stands out the most is when I kissed my gay best friend.

To this day, some 7-8 years later, neither one of us have spoken about it. And I like to keep it that way.

14.) From FlipZer0:

I take no responsibility for this incident. The "victims" of my blackout caused my blackout. I dont mean "oh they pressured me into drinking", I mean tackled me, put a funnel in my mouth, and poured straight vodka down my throat like a God damn after school special! So I was obviously done for the night after that little incident I went and ptfo on the couch. Fast forward a couple hours and party is over and everyone is in bed, and I gotta pee but am still drunker than I've ever been. I stumbled into the bathroom and took a piss. Even had the presence of mind to put the toilet seat up, and then back down when I was finished. I stumbled back out to the living room and found the unoccupied recliner and passed out there till morning. In the morning I limp to the kitchen for some coffee. One buddy is there smiling, and gives me the "how you feeling today" routine and then tells me the story of my trip to the "bathroom".

Apparently, I woke up and walked into the coffee table hard enough to knock the tv remote into my sleeping buddy on the floor and woke him up. He said I stumbled around the room for a minute cursing, finally stopping at the love seat. I dropped my pants around my ankles, lifted the the couch cushion and pissed into the couch. After I finished my piss I put the cushion back down then "slapped the back of the couch like you were trying to find the handle". I pulled my pants back up and stumbled around the room again, this time tripping over my now baffled friend. Cursed again, got up and passed out in the nearby recliner.

The homeowner said he would have been more angry if he hadn't been the one holding the funnel, and that my bathroom etiquette was very considerate considering I pissed in his sofa.

TL;DR Couches don't flush

15.) From Cannibustible:

I told my ex and her mom to "suck on these Christmas balls" when they were both trying to get me off the floor.

16.) From kchkrusher:

It was not on purpose. Once at a bar I knocked a beer bottle over, it hit the floor and only the bottom came out, a perfect circle spinning like a coin, the rest of the bottle was intact (sans the bottom).

I then called my mate and told him “watch this”, and tried to repeat the feat. I threw a second bottle on the floor and obliterated it, and we both got kicked out.

17.) From MZFaNtOm123:

Blacked out at a college bar. Phone was dead, Friends had left me behind, got kicked out of the bar for being too drunk. I truly dont know the specifics of what happened but im pretty sure i asked random people to give me a ride home and everyone denied me. Fell on the floor a plethora of times. My drunk brain mustve been really desperate because i got into a taxi that wasn't on duty and the guy took me back to the main campus of the college i was at. I was visiting a friend so i didnt know here his dorm was (im also still blacked out). I broke into a random dorm, Thank god it was suite of guys, and slept on their couch. Woke up to 4 or 5 dudes surrounding me asking me who the fuck I was. I asked them where [Insert friends dorm hall] was and they pointed me in the right direction and I reunited with my buddies who basically thought i died.

I still remember walking into my friends dorm with just a look of exhaustion and saying something like "you will not believe what happened" before i slept for like 3 more hours.

18.) From noahplow:

Got onto the stage at a dive strip club and did the helicopter. My buddy said I got cheered on by all the hunters until I pulled it out and did the helicopter.

19.) From damndingashrubbery:

I have a good one that i oddly enough WISH was me. Tldr: luckiest break for a drunk idiot.

A group of friends went to Vegas (i had a ticket but had to cancel last minute for a funeral). One friend, Drunky, was so trashed he could barely stay awake at the blackjack table. The pit boss advised the rest of the group to escort Drunky to his room to avoid a scene. Of course, they oblige him.

While walking Drunky along, they let him get too close to a roulette table, he fished a $100 chip out of his pocket and SLAPPED it down on a number like he was playing dominoes. The group is aghast and annoyed he just basically threw away $100.... It hits..... at 35/1 odds. Aghast becomes wildly excited for Drunky. But thats not good enough for him. Drunky graduates to dumbfuck with 3 words... Let. It. Ride...... the group is calling him the single biggest fucking retard anyone has ever known...... It.... Hits...... this is a bit over $120k pay out.

A quick thinking buddy slaps his hand over Drunkys mouth so he cant do it again. And says "hes chipping out". The whole group goes into bodyguard status to escort Drunky to the cash cage to get paid out. Then they frog-march him straight to his room, put him in bed and set his money on his nightstand.

In his drunken stupor he loudly insists "i dont even fucking want the money, yall just take it"..... the group is tempted but fortunately for Drunky, they do care about him. After some back and forth they finally settle with "look, we will take 1k each. IF, in the morning, you still dont want it, we will accept then." The rest of the group fucked off to party and Drunky slept it off.

Next morning Drunky POUNDED on Quick thinkers door freaking the fuck out "OMG I THINK I ROBBED SOMEBODY LAST NIGHT MAN, THERES A HUGE PILE OF CASH ON MY NIGHTSTAND AND I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE". After being told what really happened, he calmed down, repaid everyones airfare and hotel costs and had a blast for the rest of his 4day/3night stay.

20.) From Bobbinapplestoo:

Trashed a hotel room in New Mexico. Broke the tank on the back of the toilet, flooding the bathroom, and some how pulled a lamp out of the wall shocking myself. I was convinced someone had broken into my room and tried to kill me. I GTFO the next day, really embarrassed about what had happened. Paid ~$500 in damages, so they did not press charges.

21.) From WordsLikeRoses:

Nothing.

My friends refuse to tell me exactly how my last black out played out, but they all smile at me whenever I ask.

22.) From decent694201:

Singlehandedly crashing a completely random wedding in a foreign country while my grandparents watched.. (I just strolled onto their dance floor and ended up dancing with the bride for a while)

23.) From deadeyeAZ:

I had a "few" drinks and went to bed woke up the next morning and the wife was making me a huge breakfast and telling me how "brave" I was to capture and take a rattlesnake from our living room and release it in the wash behind our house. Yeah I have a jigsaw puzzle memory of that.

24.) From Reddokkanbruddah:

Tried to fight my friend who was twice my size, muscularly, because I thought he stole. 50 bucks from me.

Turns out it was the big tittied waitress that I gave my money to so she would smash my head between her titties.

25.) From Clapperoth:

I was very surprised one day to receive an email from "Drunk Me" reminding me to do something important. I had (and still have) absolutely no memory of sending it, but apparently Drunk Me had the presence of mind to know how drunk he was so he created an email to send to Sober Me two weeks later.

Drunk Me was very smart to plan ahead this way and Sober Me appreciated it.

26.) From Wrong_Answer_Willie:

many, many things

13 months sober

27.) From Aubzroolz:

Was leaving a bar very intoxicated, holding my boyfriends hand for balance, and I grabbed a very tall mans ass. I don’t remember doing that but I remember falling down right as I stepped out of the doorway and everyone cheering.

28.) ​​​​​​​From yuckytoast:

Broke into a complete strangers house, turned on late-night infomercials, and fell asleep on his couch. When owner woke me up I told him “it’s okay, Scott said I could stay here”. Scott was a friend in Chicago. I honestly thought that in my drunken stupor I had hopped a freight train and made it to Chicago and found his place...

Meanwhile my buddy was walking all over town looking for me. I came bounding out the front door of the strangers house to hear said buddy yell “hey!”. He was squatting against strangers house dropping a load in the side yard.

Somehow we managed to walk back to his place and fall sleep while watching super troopers in the wee early hours of the morning.

Dad shares son's embarrassing story about his pants 'exploding' off his body at work.

$
0
0

If you think you're having A DAY at work, at least you're still wearing pants (hopefully)!!! A guy who goes by "HereHoldMyBeer" on Twitter shared a text conversation with his son Zack who shared about his hilariously humiliating experience at work. The dad's contribution was to share his son's story on Twitter (with his permission), where it went viral.

Clearly, this is a family who appreciates a good laugh at the expense of their own pride. We stan!!!!!!!

Dad writes:

Omg I thought I was having a day, this just happened to my son at work. I gotta get him on twitter he fucking slays me! Idk where he gets it from. (Yeah, he gave me permission)

Zack texted his dad about what he calls "THE most embarrassing thing in my whole f*cking life." He'd gone to work wearing a pair of "nice black slacks." Then when he knelt down to pick up some bowls, they "literally exploded" off his body.

To make matters much worse, it was laundry day. So Zack was NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR. He says his manager saw his butthole. He then had to drive home for a new pair of pants.

 

Zack, who clearly has a penchant for storytelling, says "everybody" got a glimpse at his bare butt. But Kelly, presumably his manager, "looked inside me."

The tweet literally exploded on Twitter, where people can't stop thinking about Kelly. And what she saw.

At least Zack's day-from-Hell has brought joy to the people of the internet.

But mostly to his dad, who is clearly enjoying this the most of everyone.

Worth it? Probably not for Kelly.

20 people share the dumbest things their drunk friends have done.

$
0
0

We've all had that drunk friend who took a night to the next level by letting their freak flag fly in the dumbest way possible. Alcohol is a poison, so it's only natural for our drunk friend Greg to lose all his marbles after he chugs a keg.

While plenty of drunk nights don't make for much of a story beyond "wow man, you were out of it!" There are plenty of people who let their inner performer out when under the influence, and their dumb drunken theatrics quickly become immortalized in a friend group's stories forever.

In a recent Reddit thread, people shared the dumbest things their drunk friends have done, and it'll make you feel better about whatever New Years Eve mess you find yourself in tonight.

1. Chickiepie's friend Jim always ended the party with his nudity.

I had a friend in high school who got naked every time he got drunk. As soon as Jim was naked we knew the party was over.

2. mhorne's friend peed on a cop.

Drunk friend was relieving himself in a bush. Someone tapped him on the back. He turned round, still continuing to pee, to find himself face to face with a policeman. Poor cop had pee all down his leg, but saw the funny side.

3. cactusfairyprincess knew a guy who drunkenly broke his legs rollerskating on Halloween.

A guy I knew in college came to a Halloween party on roller skates and got absolutely plastered, and proceeded to roller skate up and down the stairs. This ended predictably to everyone but him, and he fell and got hurt. Due to the anesthetic effects of being super-drunk, however, no one realized how badly he was hurt. He passed out in the living room, and proceeded to pee all over the floor in the middle of the night because he couldn’t walk to the bathroom. Turns out his leg was broken in 2 places.

I also just mentioned in a “bad roommates” thread about a girl I knew in college who stole someone’s cat while drunk and hid it in our campus housing apartment.

4. PM_ME_B00TY_PICZZZ's friend claims a drunken bike ride was an alien abduction.

My friend claims he was abducted by aliens one night on his way home from a local festival.

In reality, he drank way too much Guinness, tried to ride his bicycle home up the steepest hill in town, and blacked out in the process.

It was 5 years ago. We just argued about it, again, this weekend.

Edit: a consonant

5. Everything80sFan's friend faked people out with their prosthetic leg.

Dumb, but funny. Had a friend with a prosthetic leg, only he never told anyone about it who didn't already know. He always waited until a party was going well into the night and everyone (including himself) was plenty drunk. He'd then produce a large knife and get everyone's attention before plunging the blade into his leg. He'd then throw his head back and scream in (fake) pain.

Often times, people would scream in terror and go running out the front door. Everyone who knew him and were familiar with his antics, would merely roll their eyes and ignore him. It was a funny prank, but a dumb one because sometimes the cops were called and an ambulance would show up. Cops and paramedics were never amused.

6. ill_change_it_later has a few examples.

Retrieved a beer couzie that fell in a port-a-Jon.

Ate food out of the trash can with the Constanza excuse that it was “on the top.”

Same friend.

7. Kanedi4s found out they aren't Spiderman the hard way.

Jumped off a roof onto a trampoline. Missed the trampoline, foot went partially through the gap between the springs, broke leg just above the ankle.

8. CaptainWisconsin spent $450 on dehydrators and got turned down for a date.

I was the friend. I visited some college buddies for the weekend. After a night at the bars, we were drunkenly devouring pizza in their apartment. A Ron Popeil commercial flashed across the TV screen, advertising the latest Ronco gadget: a food dehydrator. I picked up the phone and ordered one for everyone in the room, eight total. I even attempted to ask the nice customer sales lady on the other end out for a date. I did not get the date, but we did get our food dehydrators (and I got a $450 bill). We've never opened them - instead, we exchange them every Christmas.

9. rampantapplejohn's friend had a real blanket struggle.

One of my favorite drunk memories was when I was probably 17 and we were drinking in a friend's basement and as everyone was going to bed one of the people there kept complaining about how uncomfortable their blanket was. In the morning we discovered he had been using one of those big rubber bottomed rugs (like the kind you would put in a laundry room or something). He was also literally feet from a stack of blankets.

10. King_Kongs_Left_Nut's friend punched a cop horse.

He punched a horse...a police horse...with the cop still on it...at Mardi Gras in New Orleans. He spent some time in jail for that one.

11. Jenkem_of_the_Masses knew a guy who constantly pissed on his roommate.

I knew a guy who got blind drunk and passed out in the top bunk of his dorm room. Then in the middle of the night, climbs down and pisses on his roommate. This happened two separate times. He was a freshman and didn't know his roommate very well.

12. Back2Bach went drinking with a guy who bought a round for 35 people and then forgot his wallet.

One of the guys a group of us were with at the bar in an upscale restaurant got carried away and - in a full voice, so all could hear - said:

"A round of drinks for everyone in the room is on me!"

Around 35 people ordered free drinks on him (the bartender put it on his tab). But when the bill eventually came, the guy had no money - no wallet. He had left it home.

So the rest of us were stuck with a hefty bill because lots of people ordered the most expensive drinks available (single malt Scotch, etc.)

13. Rmanager thought their car was stolen, while they were sitting in it.

Being way too drunk to drive, his girlfriend drove after a party. He had designated parking spaces at his apartment and when he didn't see his car, he started crying hysterically that his car was stolen.

The car he was in at the time.

Then he cried even harder for being dumb.

It was me btw. I'm the drunken dumbass.

14. Bar_tender_Duck's roommate had a time.

This happened in high school. We were roommates. The guy entered the room heavily drunk and crashed into his bed. He woke up about half an hour later, knocked at the door from the inside three times and after a long pause, said " Who's there?"

15. ElToberino's housemate had a deeply confused friend.

Years ago, my housemate had a friend over who got so drunk that he wandered outside, forgot which house was ours and broke into the neighbors house.

16. brosbeforetouhous's friends get lost in the sauce.

We were out at some bars. Friend got annoyed and started to walk home, leaving his coat/hat/gloves at the bar. This wouldn’t have been a problem except it was January in Minnesota and it was -10. I am shocked he didn’t get frostbite. Same friend also got blasted at a wedding we were at and hopped the fence to the zoo adjacent to the park the reception was at. He did not get attacked by any animals. He has since stopped drinking.

Two other friends decided to tag-team wrestle our furniture and flipped a couch with people on it. They did a leaping high-five to celebrate and one of the guys landed wrong and broke his foot. This was a week before our undergrad graduation. He had to walk across the stage on crutches. Amazingly, he didn’t even know it was broken until the next day. Having a broken foot didn’t stop him from leaving our house to go pee on a dorm he particularly disliked.

Oh, and another friend, who is Indian, once got annoyed that he couldn’t get up to the bar to order and told the guy in front of him he going to declare a jihad on the guy’s family if he didn’t get out of the way.

My friends tend to be idiots when drunk.

17. gremashlo was massively betrayed.

My best friend in college got drunk and got his pickup stuck in a construction zone where he planned on having sex with a girl--so, in his drunken stupor, he called me at 1 AM to help him get back to campus.

When I got there, there he was--and it turned out that the girl he tried to screw was my also very drunk (and soon former) girlfriend, who was also so drunk she was glad to see me, and was oblivious to how horrible that moment was for me. Neither of them saw anything wrong, and the only reason I didn't drive off without them was that I was still 9/10ths asleep and didn't fully comprehend what they were doing.

At the time, I was considering transferring to another college that specialized in my major--that event was the last straw.

18. MustardKingCustard's friend ordered a car part for a car that doesn't exist.

My friend was woke up one morning to the doorbell. There was a delivery guy holding a massive package. Turns out he got wasted and went mad on Ebay. He took it in and opened it. It was a front bumper for a Ford Focus.

He didn't have a car.

19. ClosetLoner's friend's plan backfired.

Someone I know tried to prove that he can drive a sports bike on a straight road with his eyes closed when he was extremely drunk. He drove off the road at a high speed and crashed into a giant boulder. The bike was smashed to bits and he was very badly injured. I visited him at the hospital and it looked like his body was mummified! He has a giant scar on his face from the accident.

20. Theboulder027's friend was down to kiss.

One drunk friend was making out with a girl at a party on the couch, and turned away for a moment to talk to somebody, and turned back to start kissing again only to realize he was kissing another drunk friend, also a guy, who had stuck his head in the way of the girls.

Edit: Holy crap this got over 1000 upvotes. Thanks everybody.

15 people share the weird hobbies they are hiding from friends and family.

$
0
0

Everyone has guilty pleasures, and they're not always watching The Real Housewives. A recent Reddit thread gave people a safe space to confess the habits and hobbies they hide from their friends. Some things, like soap collecting, are nothing to feel guilty about, but pyromania on the other hand...well, you can judge for yourself.

1.kuluka_man has the opposite of the phobia you have.

I record myself reading books aloud. Like Berenstain Bears chapter books, Choose Your Own Adventure, Goosebumps, etc. I do the voices, edit out the mistakes, sometimes add music or sound effects. Then I listen to those recordings while doing household tasks, or especially when I can't sleep. Hearing my own voice reading helps me doze off like you wouldn't believe.


2. InfinitePizzazz has a macro Micro collection.

I collect Micro Machines. The classic originals from the late '80s. I have probably close to 1,000 of them and I keep them at work so my family doesn't find out and want to play with them.


3. This is a flex, Vares__.

I've been volunteering at a cat shelter for about a year and havent said anything about it to my friends. It just feels kinda awkward because I'm a 19 year old dude and most other volunteers are middle-aged women lol.


4. Does PersistentHobbler do commissions?

I build virtual houses in the Sims to post on the gallery. I think I’m up to like 8,000some downloads. (Which is not that much but... yeah I post often). On days off when no one’s around I might post five builds in a day. I just find it super relaxing. I like to flesh everything out with little knick knacks so it looks like real people live there. So yeah I’m an adult who plays doll house. What about it?


5. Toxic masculinity is so toxic, it makes men like doyley27 afraid to smell good.

I’m a male who likes to collect and use nice soap.


6. Sing out, Lutboi.

I’ve been practicing Mongolian throat singing for about a year now...


7. Person11191 commits to the bit.

Learning Chinese.

Waiting for something like a head injury/car accident to pretend that's all I know somehow as a gag.

Or maybe I'll just wait till we are at a Chinese restaurant.


8. Sounds therapeutic, oh-shoot-some-rat, and not just because of the kindergarten nostalgia.

I don’t really do it anymore, but I liked to get cheap liquid glue, put it on my fingers or something, then peel it off. It was always strangely therapeutic for me, but I’d be pretty embarrassed getting caught.


9. HeyHoLetsGo615 talks to somebody who's always there for them.

I have a lot of weird hobbies, but the only one I don't tell people about is that I talk to myself. A lot. Like, full blown, never gonna happen scenario conversations for 30+ minutes at a time. Always have since I was a kid. I'd be embarrassed if I got busted talking to myself like a fucking lunatic, but I have worked myself through some personal shit on more than one occasion just by being able to say my problems out loud, even if no one is listening.

Honestly, I blame it on my ADHD, but what do I know.


10. dirkofdirges expands their horizons.

Some days, at work, I'll challenge myself to only use my left hand, or never bend my right knee, or not use my thumbs at all. It started when I wondered to myself if I could still function normally if I lost an arm, and then escalated to all kinds of potential amputations or mobility losses.

It's weird, I know but I think it does help me see the world from another perspective, and be thankful for the functional body I have.


11. WasabiChickpea is the coolest mom ever.

I'm a mom who's close to 50. I really like playing Fortnite. Maybe that's not so weird, but in my social circles hardly any women play video games let alone one that is popular with kids the same ages as my children.


12. Follow therealjonbrown on SoundCloud.

I rap. It's definitely explicit content. My family is super-conservative, and they have no idea. It started as a thing I did just for myself, but I put a demo online anonymously last year and it got fairly popular and now things are escalating. I've started getting some good placements and features and it's getting more and more difficult to hide it. Eventually they'll find out, and I'll have to have that awkward conversation. It's the one thing that I have as an outlet, and the only thing I really enjoy, so I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.


13. PM-Me_Your_Fetishes lives up to their name.

I really enjoy discovering and researching weird fetishes. I have seen a Lot of disturbing stuff and somehow I still get surprised by stuff people get aroused by.

I also had a lot of "awakenings"


14. Burn baby burn, ey_ityeetz.

This might seem like I’m a crazy person (which I may be) but I like to burn stuff like plastic toy soldier in the basement and experiment which burns longer or better.


15. paintmelike_'s hobby is a hobby that could become a business.

I catalog my clothing. I have a spreadsheet that shows how often I wear an item, its initial cost, cost per wear, and attributes like material, sustainability, etc..

It started as away to limit my spending and appreciate my clothes more. Now entering the data is part of my morning coffee routine— so soothing (:

People react to Pope Francis slapping woman's hand after she grabbed him.

$
0
0

The Pope was strolling around the Vatican on New Year's Eve, greeting and blessing the pilgrims who'd come to see him, when he mildly lost his sh*t and slapped a woman's hand away.

In the video below, you can see how the Pope greets several pilgrims, then turns away just before he reaches one woman. Determine to speak to him, the woman grabs his hand and yanks him toward her.

At this point, the 83-year-old loses his cool. He repeatedly smacks her hand away — while his security do... um... almost nothing — then turns and walk away with a look on his face similar to Tony Soprano after a hit.

The slap lit up Twitter, and not just because New Year's Eve is a notoriously slow new day.

The next day, on New Year's Day, the Pope addressed people assembled at a mass.

“Love makes us patient," he said, according to CNN. "So many times we lose patience, even me, and I apologize for yesterday's bad example."

He went on to speak out against violence toward women, saying:

Women are sources of life. Yet they are continually insulted, beaten, raped, forced to prostitute themselves and to suppress the life they bear in the womb. Every form of violence inflicted upon a woman is a blasphemy against God, who was born of a woman.

How do you say "damage control" in Latin?

Anyway, people on Twitter have many thoughts — and jokes — about the Pope Slap.

Many seem to agree that the woman's grabbing of the pope was over the line and could have seriously hurt him.

But for some, not even the apology and the woman's seemingly aggressive actions make the slap okay.

Others are jokingly feigning surprise that he hasn't slapped anyone else before.

Comparisons to Karen from "Will and Grace" were made.

And there was some subtle shade thrown toward the Catholic Church's dismal record on child abuse.

And callbacks to HBO's "Young Pope."

And of course, this being Twitter, people had to turn it into a horny thing.

This Twitter user pretty much gets it right: a slap was not the best way to handle the situation, but hey, 83-year-olds get freaked out by sudden movements.

Still, he could've stopped and chatted with her maybe.

Either way, 2020 is looking metal as hell.

11 people who saved themselves for marriage explain what it was like.

$
0
0

There was a time when everyone had to believe — or at least pretend they believed — that waiting until marriage to "do it" was the best possible course of action.

Nowadays, it's more commonplace to sample the goods before you put a ring on it. But many. many people still save themselves for marriage.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to share what it was like to wait. Here are the best stories — and warnings.

1. For some, mutual virginity makes for a steep learning curve.

I don't know. I have nothing else to compare it to since I've only ever been with my husband.

I would say it's nice that we are each other's "first." But with that comes a lot of trial and error. It might have been nice to have a partner with more experience than me. So I guess I learned that two virgins are probably not going to be great at sex for a while. And maybe I should have not had to much high expectations for a while. - cls107

2. But that can help the couple learn more about each other as they go along.

Since there was no experienced teacher, we learned a lot about communication in bed... What works... what doesn't and equally important what was 'ok'. We had to teach ourselves. Also Since neither of us had anyone that we were comparing ourselves to, there is a comfort I'm the best (and worst) they ever had. - Dmonney

3. Which is often a good thing.

I second this completely. Learning how to communicate in bed and what the other person liked helped us so much. - arboristaficionado

4. And when you have low or no expectations, things can easily turn out to be great.

My wife and I waited. Imo it was worth the wait, but I don’t begrudge anyone for not waiting. We waited for religious reasons, though we’re not Fundamentalists or militantly Christian by any stretch, so to each their own.

We had a hard time waiting, but that did make our wedding night/honeymoon a lot more exciting. It was a lot of fun figuring each other out and learning that new skill together. It felt more like a “level up” than anything else, though, and had we not waited I don’t think our relationship would be any better or worse.

We also had essentially 0 expectations for what our first time would be like and didn’t place any undue pressure on ourselves to perform. Because of that, our first time was great. Had we gone in with major expectations, though, I think it would have felt worse.

Overall, worth the wait for us, but maybe not for others. I can totally understand why someone would want to make sure they’re sexually compatible with another before committing. - Lancaster2124

5. Some say it makes for a stronger bond.

The bond I feel with my wife of knowing we've only ever had sex with each other is extremely strong. Sure sex was a learning experience in the start but we were both enthusiastically willing to find out what pleases the other so sex only got better as time went on. - flipity_flop

6. But that strong bond can often be accompanied by feelings that bonking is bad.

I'm grateful for waiting until marriage. My wife and I have been married for half a year or so and it's been a lot of trial and error; however, our bond and our connection has really benefitted from learning together. Honestly, I grew up with this big idea of what sex was, but helping my wife out of her wedding dress to see her for the first time is a moment that I will never forget and I am grateful for.

I think religion has really done a number on sex and its "cleanliness". I am a Christian and that's why I waited; however, we tend to focus on sex is dirty and shameful and ignore the fact that God created this act to be a beautiful bonding moment for his creation. Unfortunately, the way sex has been taught in churches has made it incredibly difficult for men and women to be comfortable with the idea of sex.

Tldr, Glad I waited. Teaching sex is dirty and nothing else f*cks people up. - Natethegreat728

7. Some religious parents try to counter this message, though.

I sort of got the best of both worlds. My mom made sure my sister and I both knew our pleasure was as, if not more, important than our husbands.

”Rachie, if he leaves the restaurant before you get your dessert, he's an asshole. You're not supposed to hate it. You're supposed to cherish it.

But don't go giving it away for free because it will only break your heart, look at (insert knocked up person who is marrying a schmuck, or so and so who's husband beats her, etc.).”

Song of Solomon is way under-taught. - Rach5585

8. And then there are the horror stories.

My best friend and her husband were virgins when they got married. Their very first kiss was at the alter. It turned out that she has an extremely high sex drive and he has a an issue with touching. Of course, this led to infidelity and they ended up having to go to marriage counseling and sex counseling so that he could get over his fear of intimacy. I don’t approve of her cheating at all but I feel like it could have been avoided if they would have communicated and touched more before marriage. I don’t necessarily know if she would have done things differently, being deeply involved in seminary and church, I know they still wouldn’t have had sex but I am fairly confident that she would have been more pressing about the intimacy issue. - andshewillbe

9. Sometimes, religion can make you internalize some pretty messed up messages.

I knew a woman who married her high school sweetheart and they didn’t do anything before marriage because of religious reasons.

Turns out, they didn’t do anything after they were married, either, because her husband ended up feeling very ashamed about anything sexual at all, to the point that he couldn’t perform. She also couldn’t get any sexual gratification, because she’d had a very taboo concept of masturbation.

They were married for a little over a year before they divorced. It was really sad when she told me about it.

Luckily she’s been through years of therapy now, and while she’s still a virgin and kind of upset that she is (bc she doesn’t like being in her mid-thirties and still a virgin), she’s mostly processed the entire thing and is a lot happier now than she used to be. - chengsao

10. Sometimes, it can take time to get things going.

My wife's brother waited for marriage.

His plumbing didn't work at first. But some hard work and he got his soldiers awake and marching.

He's got a 2 year old daughter now that he loves very much. - Lajak_Anni

11. But one person from a religious area says none of the good can outweigh the possibility for disaster.

I grew up in a part of the country where this is pretty common. So I have quite a few friends who waited.

DO NOT WAIT. Among the outcomes:

- Horribly mismatched sex drives. She waited because she had an iron will. He waited because he didn't actually mind much.

- Shame and misery. People who wait are almost always motivated by religion. If they've been told their entire lives that sex is dirty and will make them "unclean" or "impure," it's impossible to just flip that switch. For these people, sex is NOT fun.

- Closet gays. Holy shit, this is incredibly common. He's such a good Christian, doesn't pressure her for sex, wants to wait for marriage... He thought that God's blessing would make it all happen. Or she did. And then after the wedding, there's still...nothing. No desire. Shit.

- Horrible preference mismatches. One person wants to try the entire Kama Sutra and the other can't stop laughing at it.

- A horrible reveal. Imagine you get to the wedding night and find out your new wife was born with ambiguous genitalia and she HAS NO IDEA. She was raised as a girl but you find out she actually has no vagina.

Every single one of these is real.

DO NOT WAIT. - hahahahthunk

21 funny tweets about the struggles of being a teacher.

$
0
0

Teachers are all unsung saints.

They're underpaid, overworked and responsible for nurturing the minds and hearts of future generations. With the pressure to follow strict curriculums, meet standardized testing expectations and deal with overprotective helicopter parents, being a teacher is an incredibly stressful gig.

Other than bartending or anything in the medical field, being a teacher is one of the few jobs where seeing people vomit and cry hysterically out of nowhere is a standard occurrence. However, teachers regularly greet all of these struggles with patience, kindness, and maybe a little bit of venting to their private Twitter account...

In the new year, take a moment to look back on all the teachers who helped you become the person you are today and give it up for all the teachers who are currently losing sleep (and their sanity) to help children and adolescents everywhere!

Here are some of the funniest tweets of 2019 from teachers:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.


Chrissy Teigen responds to commenter accusing her of photoshopping Instagram pool photo.

$
0
0

On Wednesday we finally traded in the dark specter of 2019 and all its frustrations for the shiny new hope of 2020, which means socially media is currently flooded with resolutions and photos of New Years celebrations.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend and their adorable children Luna and Miles brought in the new year by playing in a luxurious pool, and looking effortlessly plucked out of a vacation brochure.

View this post on Instagram

sloppy kisses from the best bear I know

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

There is really nothing negative to say about these photos, the family was genuinely having a wholesome time enjoying each other's company and saying their watery farewells to everything 2019.

View this post on Instagram

also gives good kisses

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Teigen shared the set of peak LA photos on her Instagram where people generally gushed over the family and gazed into the abyss of the lives of the rich and famous.

View this post on Instagram

PHOTO CREDIT GOES TO @STUHOLDEN THANK U STEWY

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

As with many photos taken of people half submerged in water, the photos featured visible glimpses of light refraction.

A sweet shot of Teigen and Luna cheesing had the most opposite example of refraction, which distorted their lower bodies into Picasso-esque shapes.

View this post on Instagram

🥰

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

One commenter responded by claiming Teigen did a horrible photo-shop job, a statement that could just as easily be tongue-in-cheek joke or a genuine query.

"That's a horrible photo shop Chrissy," they wrote.

Naturally, Teigen responded in good faith, in what was likely her final clap back of 2019.

"Why would I photoshop my a*s to be smaller and bumpier than it already is?" Teigen wrote, capping off a full year of responding to internet strangers.

17 people share the unusual things they were afraid of as kids.

$
0
0

We all had some pretty irrational fears as kids, and some people are lucky enough to outgrow them.

Former children who now have access to Reddit are confessing the most ridiculous things that terrified them when they were children, and the Bathroom Giraffe needs to stand down.

1. Drclarko's nightmare should be a Michael Bay movie.

I used to have this repeating dream that scared me to death. I was always in a skyscraper made of windows, and a giant toddler would walk through the street. If the toddler saw you, you died. Weird f*cking dream, but I dreamt it repeatedly for years.


2. Next-Spirit was extremely fatphobic, but it wasn't their fault.

My neighbor with a big tummy. Blame my mother and nanny for this. They used to say that our neighbor has a big tummy because he eats children. Oh how I stayed away from that man. Now I don't even remember who he was.


3. ThickEmergency fears the fuzz.

The police. My mum use to tell me i would be taken away by the police if i misbehave.

I'm still scared of them now, for different reasons.


4. TD_KingJason was more of a Dreamworks kind of guy.

As a child, I used to be scared of the 20th Century Fox theme song. I would run out of the room screaming each time it would come on before or after a movie.


5. We are all more Shnoochieboochies than we'd like to admit.

The sound of the toilet flushing.


6. UristMcPolitics, phone home.

F*cking ET, the Extra-Terrestrial. Used to give me nightmares that he was trying to stab me with a long butcher knife.


7. enders_lame didn't start the fire.

Corduroy pants. When I was 3 or 4, my sister told me that if I wore them and ran, my crotch would catch on fire. I am 31 and still have a strong aversion to corduroy.


8. MissyMooBlue struggles on a safari.

Giraffes. My mum used to say "close the bathroom door or the draft will get you" but my wee toddler brain thought she was saying the giraffes would get me. Was terrified of them for years after that.


9. Cephalon-Blue was the opposite of Garfield.

Lasagna. My weirdest nightmare was of a dangerous snake that would hide itself to look exact like lasagna, and then kill people that got too close.

Yeah, I don’t get that one nowadays.


10. carmelacorleone was on the lam.

Airplanes and helicopters. If I were outside playing and I heard one of them coming I'd run for cover out of fear. I was terrified they were coming to get me or something. Then one day I just stopped being afraid of them and now I love airplanes.


11. w1mblyw0mbly was a little loony.

For me, it was the guy on the (Australian) 2 dollar coin. I was scared that he was going to attack me in my sleep and eat me.

I know, weird...


12. UnicornsnRainbowz has a great horror movie pitch.

Mannequins.

I thought they were real people who had been skinned and their meat taken to eat and that they were still alive, with their mouths sewn shut.

I am a well adjusted adult, honest...


13. Brokenmeadows needed an audience.

Sitting on the toilet. I overheard my grandma talking to the plumber one day and there was mention of the toilet being snaked. My adolescent mind took that to mean there were snakes in the toilet and I couldn't poop unless I had an adult watching me.


14. Whatever kept you safe, Ulysseuss.

My mom told me, my sister and all of my cousins when we were younger not to go into a river because of the current that would take us under. We all believed it was a lake monster that lived in all fresh bodies of water. To this day, anytime I feel something touch my foot I think it’s the Current Monster coming to get me.


15. But was i_could_be_drunker afraid to Woo Hoo?

Burglars in The Sims. Especially the sound it made when the burglar appeared.


16. ganzeinfachkiki should have been terrified of Tinky Winky.

Lala from the Teletubbies. Had her as a stuffed animal and she had this weird creepy look. One day I decided to stare back at her and give her what she deserves. I put her on a chair and the staring competition began. I didnt last long. I started crying and my sister had to get me out of my room. We got rid of Lala.


17. It's hard to beat a heartbeat, TomZMarsu.

Hearing my own heart beat.

22 funny tweets about going back to work after the holidays.

$
0
0

Going back to work after the holidays is tough.

For most of us, December is the month to fully check out of anything productive. While there are some days during the holiday season where you have to cram in as much work as possible before the break, most office workplaces cut their employees some slack. Between office parties and holiday celebrations with family and friends, nobody wants to spend December hustling anything but eggnog and ice skating...

That being said, when the fun stops, it can get pretty devastating. If you're having a hard time adjusting to crash-landing back to the reality of emails, scheduled calls, team meetings and waking up at 8 am every morning--you're not alone.

Here are the funniest tweets about the depression of the holidays being over and the doom of the many work weeks ahead:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

People who work in cemeteries and graveyards share the creepiest things they have seen.

$
0
0

If you think going to work is scary, imagine working in a graveyard or cemetery. Sure, the guy in the next cubicle breathes loudly and your manager discussing the weather, but at least your co-workers are alive.

Over on AskReddit, where no question is too dark to ask, people who work in graveyards and cemeteries are answering the question: "what strange and scary stuff have you witnessed?"

These 19 creepy responses will make you grateful to work a boring desk job among the living:

1.) From ullabr:

I work at a graveyard, and I just have one thing to say. Plastic.

Here in Norway graves are protected by law for 20 years, but after that the spots can be "reused". Usually a grave is fine to reopen after 20 years - the body is supposed to be decomposed and pretty much gone. Now back to plastic:

Between the 50s and 80s it was common here to be buried in plastic, to minimise "smell and leakage". I'm sure they thought it was a good idea back then, but once we started reusing graves in Norway we realised it is a curse. A lot of bodies are wrapped in plastic, and I've myself been part of what was supposed to be a burial at a reused site. The body was about 50 or 60 years old, and should be basically gone, but nope it was not, the plastic wrap it was covered by kept the body from decomposing, and it's basically just been marinated it its own juices for 50/60 years. The smell was awful, the sight was even worse.

I'm sure this is not the kind of story you wanted, but it's honestly the bost horrific and bizarre thing I've ever been part of.

2.) From Back2Bach:

In the cemetery mausoleum-chapel where I occasionally play the organ for funerals, vandals had broken in the night before a service.

They smashed several crypt covers (probably with sledge hammers), exposing the remains of those that had been entombed therein.

It was an eerie atmosphere to hold a funeral service that morning with such desecration in plain sight.

3.) From Xaixiu:

Not really a cemetery experience, but it was still pretty freaky. My grandparents live out in the middle of nowhere pretty much and is surrounded by woods. On their property, there was a whole family that owned my grandparents property before them. From what I was told they were killed or something like that.

A few years ago, when I was still living with my grandparents, a relative that was related to the dead family came up to the property and wanted to remove the bodies from the land. My grandpa was extremely happy about it because he wanted to expand the house but couldn't because he didn't want to mess with the graves.

So they got together and I stood nearby, watching them dig up four caskets. There were three adults sized caskets and one child sized casket. And they all looked really old. One of the bigger caskets had holes and cracks all over it. That was the one that my grandpa and the other relative was carrying when the body fell out the bottom of the casket.

The body was pretty much bones but it still had old muscle and tissue on it. I remember feeling sick to my stomach as O watched them uncomfortably put the body back into the casket upside down.

4.) From Rovarin:

My great great grandfather and his son were foremen at the cemetery in my hometown - of course way before I was ever around. The older of them was said to be 'sensitive' (as in he felt and saw things) and there are stories of people that he buried that came by during nights to tell him that they were cold (which means that there were no flowers/wreaths on the grave) or that their feet were cold (the soil around where the foot of the casket was had leveled). He was also said to be able to see people in what we refer to as 'hamferð' (skin-journey... as in the body shows itself to tell someone that the soul has departed), one particular story about that that they still tell around the Sunday dinner table is when a friend of his had been lost at sea, nobody knew of course until much later, but my 2xg grandfather saw his friend entering the house, drenched in seawater and noisily walk into the living room and sits himself on an old sailor's chest that was by the door and just as soon the man disappears.

My great grandfather took over his father's job when he got too old to do it. I can't remember any similar stories about him, but there is a joke about some youngsters that tried to scare him that people have told all over the country (probably an imported joke). There were a few people in town that didn't like the fact that the graveyard workers worked after dark, and there were a group of young men that decided that enough was enough, they were going to scare the gravedigger. So they outfitted themselves with white sheets and went to the graveyard and walked around the graveyard saying all sorts of ghostly sounds like... 'Booo!' and they found the gravedigger as he was in the middle of digging a grave by hand, and they stood around the grave for what seemed like hours, shouting and screaming and doing whatever it is that ghosts do. The gravedigger paid them no mind and just continued with his work. The young men then, having given up, started to leave and as they approached the gate of the graveyard they could hear shouting and protesting behind them, as the gravedigger angrily came running towards them, shouting: "It's one thing that you are up and about walking around here, but don't you think for a second that I will allow you to leave!!"

5.) From whiteclawlaw:

My dad purchased a cemetery when I was in middle school, and I worked for him through high school graduation. I did yard work; mowing, weed eating, flower beds, ect. Aside from the occasional shadows seen out of the corner of my eye, seeing people who turned out to not be there, and hearing strange sounds, the cemetery was actually a quite peaceful place.

BUT. The strangest is when you have a burial in the crypts. Basically, you dig down about 4 or 5 feet to expose giant cement doors. You pull the cement doors off and drop down into a little room. These rooms can fit 2 coffins, OR years and years and years worth of cremated remains. So back in the 50s and 60s, family's would buy one crypt and the entire fam would be cremated and put in it. Some just put the cremated remains in it and close her up, but others light candles and leave flowers and souvenirs and pictures and shit. Its fucking creepy opening up one of those bad boys after 50 years and finding melted candles and old pictures of the people inside. Plus when you hop down in there you have a weird realization that you are at the same level and completely surrounded by bodies...

6.) From AlcoholicSpaceEater:

Former Funeral director here.

My partner and I had just gotten back to the funeral home from a house call for a 31 year old woman who died of cancer. As we were moving her body from the cot to embalming table we heard an audible click and the radio across the room turned on full volume of static. It's one of those old radios you turn the volume dial until it clicks to turn it on.

We both looked at each other. He was an extremely religious man and this event visibly shook him and he left not long after the incident. I shut the radio off as I typically used my phone to listen to music while embalming. When I'd finished the procedure and was attempting to move her from the embalming table to a dressing table I heard that click from that old radio and it turned on full volume yet again.

At that point I was fairly freaked out and made my exit not long after. My partner and I never spoke of it again and nothing like that ever occurred to my knowledge before or after.

7.) From BrutalBob1384:

I worked for a county cemetery department years ago. We would go to all the cemeteries in the county and mow or just do basic upkeep. Occasionally people (mainly farmers) would stumble upon some headstones in a field or a stand of trees and we would come out and prod the ground with dowel rods to find more headstones and reestablish the cemetery. Soon after I started working there we got a tip about some headstones a farmer found while clearing out a path through some trees for easier access to his field. It turned out to be the oldest cemetery in the county dating back to the 1700's. After investigating some of the names on the headstones it got really creepy. The story is that before the cemetery was there a school house stood there. The teachers were a husband and wife. It's not clear on what exactly happened but the students and the husband and wife all died in the schoolhouse. The information we found kind of made it sound like an illness of some kind and they were all quarantined in the school until they all died. After that the school was demolished and the students and husband and wife were all buried right where the school stood. So yeah I'm sure it's haunted.

8.) From Pof_no:

When I was in college I worked part time at a Jewish Cemetery in reception/office management. The cemetery was closed from Friday afternoon through Saturday evening for Sabbath. We sometimes stayed a bit later in the office on Friday afternoons to get bills out or checks processed. We heard a loud commotion by the cemetery entrance which was locked and only staff could get in and out. The office manager went to see what was going on and made me come with her. We went down to the gate to find an older woman (probably around 70) dressed to the 9's begging us to let her in. She kept saying she needed to get back. This was in the suburbs of NJ so you needed a car to get around but we didn't see a car or anything, she was just there in this beautiful dress. We couldn't open the gate without the Cemetery Manager, so we went to go get him. We brought him back to the gate and no one was there. We looked at video footage of the entrance and you could see us (the office manager and me) talking but there was no one on the other side of the gate. The cemetery manager thought we were trying to trick him. I swear to this day we saw a woman in a fancy dress outside that gate. There were multiple cameras and not a single one picked up anyone on the other side of the gate and you could see the whole gate. All you could see was us. I don't know if it was a ghost or what. The office manager and I decided not to tell anyone else, but we would mention it to each other every once in a while.

9.) From kg1206:

We had a late afternoon service once that ran into the evening, it was October so the sun went down early while I was filling in the grave afterwards. Conveniently none of the lights on the loader tractor worked for some reason. No blown fuses or looses wires or anything the lights just didn’t work.

Next day when I reported the issue we went over to the same tractor and the lights worked perfectly fine and they worked fine the rest of the time I worked there.

10.) From nkeene32:

i don't work in a cemetery, but i did go clean one up with my family. We cut down weeds planted flowers ect; so anyways i was wiping off graves when i seen three graves side by side and they didn't have the same last name so i asked my mom if they were related and she said "no, but a women was married to them and they had all gotten into accidents within two years of being married to her. She buried them side by side and when she passed away she requested to be buried in a cemetery two counties away. Its strange because the first grave the man died in 1984 the second died in 1986 and the third died in 1988. They were all very wealthy and owned their own businesses and when they died she closed the businesses.

11.) From MoreTorqueSteve:

I dug graves for six months. One afternoon we had to hand dig a hole in a older cemetery b/c we couldn't run any heavy equipment over any of the older plots. It was super tough and took us a lot longer than usual. When we were finally close to be done, it was dark and hard to see. I remember my shovel hitting a brick of the neighboring plot (before cement casks), and a it coming loose. I swear to god I saw something move inside the small hole and practically jumped out of the grave. I got back in to finish the job, but was definitely spooked.

12.) From ShootPplNotDope:

Strange people visiting. I worked at the cemetery Jimmi Hendrix is buried at, so lots of weed and people hanging around. We found a dead homeless man behind a mausoleum, smelled him first. One time, getting ready to bury a person, we dug a grave. It was in a section of the graveyard that had very old burials (100+ years), so wooden caskets. My foreman at the time was squaring off the hole with a shovel, then he saw a skull looking right at him. He quickly and quietly pushed it farther into the dirt and told us not to say anything. If the office people had found out, it would have been a whole thing. Digging it up, trying to figure out who it was, etc. Never saw a ghost, but some of the old timers say they did. Not sure if I believe them. Lots of other stories, but that stands out.

13.) From BloodSpades:

It’s not quite the same, but I had an uncle who tried “working” (as in selling and doing drugs) the graveyards between 10pm and 4am. He only lasted a few nights in that area then never went back.

What was it that scared him so badly that he felt his soul rattle in his bones, as his blood froze cold????

Prairie dogs.... Fucking, prairie dogs....

What’s so frightening about simple ground squirrels you might ask? Those cute little fuzz balls that scavenge whatever they can... Well, apparently they like to randomly come out their holes in the middle of the night, and scream...

Creepy, but that doesn’t sound too bad, right? Well, now imagine being surrounded by dozens of little rodents you can’t see, in the pitch black of night, surrounded by the dead, tweaked out of your mind, paranoid as hell, and then suddenly hearing Hellish blood curdling screaming all around you.....

His little group scattered like roaches, and I think someone fell into a ditch, but he was convinced it was an empty grave. He never did that again.

14.) From PeaTearGriphon:

I used to mow the lawn at a cemetery as part of my summer job. I always volunteered because it was the only place I could work with my shirt off and try to fight my farmer's tan. Anyway the only creepy thing is that coffins must break and fill with dirt over time because once and awhile you'll be walking and sink up to your knee in a small sink hole on top of a grave. Didn't really bother me unless I was walking at a good pace but some of the other people would get freaked out by that.

15.) From Freddie30234:

I was a tombstone caretaker for a cemetary in rural georgia, summertime job for a 16 yearold, nothing crazy, just cleaning off the grime of the elements on tombstones ect.

Now to just put a setting, the cemetary included one building that housed bathrooms for the 5 “staff members” of this cemetary, a small simple mausoleum, and then other than that, flat earth with tombstones EVERYWHERE, the only surroundings were dense forrests in the georgia country.

That being said, due to the eery surroundings, i was always a bit paranoid, plus i watch alot of scary movies and so on, i know, bad combo.

So one night i was doing my rounds, and i had to go into the small mausoleum, had some of the richer families in the areas entombed within, and i had to go in, makesure all was neat and clean, standards had to be upheld for these uppity folks. So i approached, and right off the bat, something was off, the air was pretty damn cold, during the summer in georgia, that was odd. Other, there was a light coming from the mausoleum, and as i approached, i head voices, laughter? Laughter from a child, a little girl, i thought it was simply younger folks maybe? I havent seen anyone enter or leave the cemetery, and the laughter sounded young, however as i got closer, the voices and laughter died, like almost instant. I pause. The light i also noticed had gone out, i call the lone security officer that does a few rounds on the lot, cuz im not gonna go in alone, and he comes, we will call him, officer friendly.

When officer friendly arrives we both go inside, We see one of the doors to the entombed remains of a young girl, open...... nothing was disturbed within, but it was open, and a doll, lay on the stone beneath it, me and officer friendly do a small sweep, it was only one floor and one room, so it didnt take long,, we close the door to the girls entombment, and we both leave, as we walk away, we get about 30 feet from the mausoleum, and then all of a sudden, boom, voices and laughter again. I jump, and officer friendly looks to me, looking pretty shaken, says to me “you hear it too?” We look back, and boom, lights back, laughter continuing. We dont go back and just book it, i found out the next morning, the door was open again, this time the doll was on the otherside of the mausoleum from where we found it the night before.

I resigned the next day, im good lol

16.) From The1stQueenbee:

When I lived in Guam I was impressed by their huge cemeteries with their gigantic white monuments and was wandering through at dusk one day and saw a mist rising from one particular monument and being a little freaked, left quickly. It happened a few times and I was seriously starting to question my sanity so the next time I saw it I decided to approach to see detail only to find that it was a very sad brother having a cigarette with his deceased brother. I told him he had scared the crap out of me and he said that he'd seen plenty of things there to make him question his sanity.

17.) From odakyu11:

I used to work as a 'park ranger' in a cemetary in London which has been converted into a nature reserve. its in a very ghetto area the local kids nicknamed it 'the forest'

regularly we'd find ammunition, knives and occasionally pistols hidden in the memorials/gravestones and the police would be called to collect them. a friend once found a backpack full of molotov cocktails prepared. I never saw a pistol myself.

only once I had the honor of finding something. I found a plastic bag stuffed behind a collapsed monument and inside it had a load of shotgun shells.

it was terrifying for me because you have no idea if someone is watching you or aware that you've just found their stash.

the police come, you have to have to show them where it is and that further highlights your involvement to any of the local kids watching you.

that particular park people avoid as soon as the sun goes down.

18.) From BushWookieViper:

I worked security for a nursery(for trees and plants) And when they changed owners (before my time) the new owners found that the old owners had dug up part of a grave yard. broken headstones were just piled up next to still standing ones. And so the company puzzled the headstones back together and set them in concrete. All that setup is to tell you that I would be patrolling in a vehicle and I would go past the cemetery and there would be this coyote and a owl just hanging out in the middle of the graveyard looking at me. This happened pretty regularly.

19.) From AngerIsMyDefaultMode:

My mom and stepdad were the caretakers of a small cemetary for about 10 years. All of us kids(6 between the two of them) helped out at one point or another. One summer I was helping my mom with mowing and upkeep. It was a super hot summer so we would try to go and get the mowing done early before the heat became too unbearable. Well, we had trouble getting the truck going one day, so we ended up starting a little later than usual and were unable to finish up everything that day. My mom had an appointment the next morning and the day after that it was supposed to rain, so I told her I would go up early the next morning and finish up the trimming with the weed eater. So, it's about 7 in the morning and I am listening to music with my headphones and going around the headstones. Everything was going well until I got to the oldest section of the cemetery. That part was on a small slope of a hill. Once you got to the bottom and looked up you couldn't see the road, but you could see it again once you were about half way up. When I finished up the last headstone, I turned off my equipment and started back up the hill. I glanced up in time to see a little girl in a pretty red dress. She was running and disappeared behind a large headstone. I figured her parents were visiting another grave and the little girl ran off to entertain herself. It was around 9 a.m. at this point. I got to the top of the hill and there was no car or people around. The cemetery wasn't really close to any houses, and the girl was too nicely dressed to have walked out there. I looked around and shouted for her to come out. I was able to see the headstone she ran behind, and I would have seen her if she ran out again. I couldn't find her anywhere. I called my mom and told her what was going on and asked if I should call the police and tell them about this little girl. She looked to be about 3 or 4 years old, so she certainly shouldn't be by herself. My mom asked me if she was wearing a red dress. I said yes, why? So, she proceeds to nonchalantly tell me that was just the ghost girl. Now, everyone who knows me knows that I don't fuck with ghosts. I asked why she didn't tell me there was a ghost in the cemetery! She said she needed my help and was afraid I wouldn't go up if l thought it was haunted. Now granted, I probably would have been more leery of the place, but knowing no one else could help her, I would have still helped her that summer, but I would have made sure I wasn't there by myself! I still go there sometimes as I have relatives buried there, but I am always with someone. Fortunately, I never saw any other ghosts and I have never seen the little ghost girl ever again.

People are sharing the inexplicable things they've experienced that defy science or logic.

$
0
0

If you've ever experienced a prophetic dream or a weirdly telling exchange with a mysterious stranger, then you already know the feeling of a glitch in the Matrix.

While some of these experiences can be chalked up to bizarre coincidence, or our brains playing psychedelic tricks on us, the inexplicable ones conjure up a lot of questions about parallel universes, and the fabric of consciousness.

In a recent Reddit thread, people shared the "glitches" they can't stop thinking about, and the thread is currently overflowing with bizarre stories.

1. Purple_Bandmate will never forget the man with the cane.

Was taking the train home one afternoon and an old man was sitting a row ahead of me. He turned around and asked for directions to the hospital, and I told him which stop to get off at. Eventually, his stop arrives and he gets up to leave, but before he exits he turned and said "thank you, I'll see you later." I said "yeah no problem," and again he said "I'll see you later" and he looked me right in the eye. I said "sure, see ya" and he got off the train and hobbled away with his cane. Thought it was a little weird he was adamant about seeing me around but whatever.

Freaky thing is, when I got off the train and to the bus station, about five minutes after boarding my bus I hear a voice that sounds like the old man. I looked out the bus window and sure enough, he was there at the bus station--same clothes, hat, and cane. I know it was the same guy, but with his walking speed and the available bus/train routes at the time I have zero clue how he got to the bus station right when I did. There are no buses near the hospital that go to that bus station, and my train was the only train that had just arrived at the bus station.

2. justafander has prophetic dreams.

Sometimes, a moment or two before something happens, I’ll remember I dreamed what was about to happen. Then it happens. This whole thing happens so fast.. it’s freaky.

3. Administrative-Koala still doesn't know how their foot fell through the pavement.

In 2010 I was working for a transportation company as a dispatcher and I walked out to go home one afternoon and my foot went through the paved parking lot. After I took another step I looked all over and it was all solid - it was a weird random thing but I’ll never forget it.

4. ArmchairScientish believes mishearing prepared them for the worst.

When my mom called to tell me that my grandpa died, I thought she said "papa died" and papa is the nickname for my dad. I was crying uncontrollably and when I finally figured out it was grandpa I was too embarrassed to admit that I thought it was my dad. I called him later and told him and he just laughed.

Anyway fast forward three weeks and my dad dies too. Part of me thinks mishearing her was the universe preparing me to lose him.

It was weird because it was like I lost him twice and I'm still kind of waiting for someone to tell me it was all a mistake and it was actually someone else.

Edit: I feel kind of bad because I've barely thought about Grandpa since my dad died. My grandma has it the worst because she lost a husband and a son in the same month.

5. zoltrinaforsure has a Groundhog Day experience with the movie Groundhog Day.

Every time I just randomly think about the movie Groundhog Day I see it everywhere, people mention it to me, it's on the TV, radio, I can't escape it.

6. Discretion_for_Miles had a musical premonition.

A few years ago, my wife and I were riding in a car with my parents. We were all just chatting, and my dad kept periodically drumming on the steering wheel and humming the opening bars to “Down Under” by Men At Work. This happened a few times over a span of ten minutes or so, and finally my mom asked him “What song is that?”. Dad replied by singing the chorus, and we all laughed.

A few minutes later, he reached over to turn on the radio and I had this weird feeling we were going to hear “Down Under”. I said something like “I guarantee that song is going to be playing”. No idea why I felt so strongly about this, but sure enough, it was playing on the second station that my dad tried. We couldn’t believe it. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to replicate this, but I felt like a wizard for a few days.

7. HelpwithSAdog dreamt a grim foreshadowing.

I had a dream an old friend (who i hadn't spoken to or seen around or anything in about 2 years) died and I went to his funeral. I woke up and thought "whoa, thats weird" and went to check his Facebook to see what he was up to. He had gone missing a few days previous, but his body wasn't found until over a year later.

8. bscottprice had a farewell dream about their deceased coworker.

I had a dream about a coworker. She loved dogs and would always ask me to share pictures of my GSD and Labrador whenever we'd talk at work. In the dream she was on a couch crying. My Labrador is a very emotional connected dog. She goes to anyone she thinks is sad, which is exactly what she did in the dream.

My coworker looked at me and said, "thank you for sharing her, I feel better about all of this now". I found out at work the next day that my coworker had tripped at the top of her stairs and died that night. The dream still freaks me out when I think about it. It was so vivid and clear.

9. l524k doesn't know where the year went.

When I was a little kid, like around 6-7, my family got a pet hamster/gerbil/whatever. I remember the first day we got him I played with him, went upstairs for bed, fell asleep, woke up, came back downstairs, and he was dead.

I was really sad that the pet we had just gotten was dead, and my parents informed me we had him for a year before he died. I literally have no recollection of that entire year. I just get a hamster, fall asleep, miss a year of my life, wake up, hamsters dead. Its trippy thinking about it now.

10. LakePale has trouble escaping the vortex of fake rooms.

Sometimes when I dream, and I wake up, I "wake up". I know it's a dream. I just know it's a dream. But I can't "wake up". And the harder I try to wake up, or the more I realize I have to wake up, the scarier it gets, even though nothing really changes. It feels like a darkness enveloping you as you try and wake up from your fake room.

How do I know it's a fake room? Just some weird details. Like how my wall looks a little TOO white. Or the christmas tree's lights are on when they're supposed to be off (don't ask why I have one in my room and not the living room lol).

So then I go through like maybe 1-2 minutes of intense waking up, falling back asleep. Trying to open my eyes, but then falling back asleep right after. As I said, the rooms are similar but not too similar, so I can just about tell when I'm in the real world and when I'm dreaming.

Or perhaps both rooms are fake, and when I finally wake up, it's the real me in the real world. I dunno. Those are the scariest of dreams, even though they last for a few minutes tops because that's right before I'm about to wake up.

11. fearsyth moved at lightning speed.

Had a bonfire at a family member's home. They put a sheet of metal on a concrete slab, then built the bonfire on top. No one thought about what happens when you make a hot spot in the middle of a frozen concrete slab. The concrete expands with no where to go, so it literally explodes.

I was the closest to the fire. When if exploded, I had enough time to check where the debris was going to see that I wasn't going to be hit. Look over at my mother and think, "I should move anyway so she doesn't freak out". So then I calmly stood up and backed away from the fire while laying down the chair I was sitting in (so it would fit between my legs while I stepped backwards).

At least that's what I thought. My cousin came up to me after and said he'd never seen anyone move as fast as I did.

12. lulabellbell accidentally called a mom with a missing daughter.

In sixth grade I called my mom to let her know my dad was about to head her way to drop my little sister & I off (divorced parents). When she answered I said, ‘Mama’ & my mom frantically asked, ‘(my name)?? Is that you??’. I said ‘yes’, she asked where I was, I said ‘Daddy’s house, we’re about to come home now, just wanted to let you know. Love you mama’. She asked me, ‘Who’s daddy?, where are you? Are you ok?’

Obviously I was confused and just answered, ‘mama, I’m fine. I’m ok, I love you, I’ll see you soon’. She said she loved me too, tried to get me to stay on the phone & I just hung up.

My dad later got a call & visit from the police. As it turns out I’d accidentally dialed the number of a woman who’s daughter had the same name as me & had gone missing. Everything was cleared up very quickly but I always thought it wasn’t a mistake that I dialed the wrong number, maybe it was that woman’s daughter saying goodbye.

13. BrianWall68 got a cosmic urge to email their cousin.

Back in the mid 1990s I had a dream that I went to visit my cousin (we live in different states) and her family was sad because someone close to their family had died. It bothered me enough that I mentioned it to my wife. My wife said that I should email my cousin and ask her if everyone is okay. I sent off an email asking if everyone is okay because I had this dream, explaining the dream, but I am probably just being silly. She emails me back the next day and says no I am not being silly, an uncle of her husband's had died recently and that they were very close to him.

14. Koal_404 breathed water.

When I was little, my family was at my grandparent's place. They had a pool in the back, and us kids were swimming while our parents ate on the porch. I, being a devious eight-year-old, decided to swim into the deep end where I was not yet allowed. Being cocky and overconfident about my ability to swim, I dove down and touched the bottom of the pool. I stayed down there for a moment before I felt I needed air. I started to swim up, but I realized that I needed air a lot more urgently than I had previously thought.

I felt my lungs burning, and thought to myself that I needed air now. Still another foot and a half under water, I took a breath. Weirdly enough, it felt as though I had breathed in air. I broke the surface and tried to cough out whatever water would be in my lungs, but there was nothing. I didn't find it very odd at the time, but now I think about it often.

15. kebomim got sucked in a Burger King time loop.

Nothing nearly as creepy as some of the other ones but I was at Burger King and I was playing in their little playground area (you know the ones with all the tunnels, stairs, idk if its the right term but ANYWAY) I distinctly remember going in circles in this one tunnel for like 4 or 5 rounds until I stopped and thought "wait, why am I going in circles?" and then I continued and realized that the tunnel didn't go in circles but it lead up. Thing is, less than a minute ago I was going around and around in the same tunnel, over and over again. So I retraced my steps, went through the tunnel again, and arrived at the top once more. It was like a time loop that broke. Maybe I was just young and wasn't paying attention and was just exiting the tunnel and just going back in or I was an idiot kid. But this really scared me as a 9 year old.

16. gninnep has teleporting keys.

Lost my keys while over at a friend's house and was using a spare for almost a week. Found them sitting in the driver's seat when it was parked at my own place, miles away from where I lost them.

17. fallenhiro had a visitation from their sister.

While this may not seem creepy, I can tell you the experience most definitely was creepy.

This happened when I was 8 and working in the yard with my mom. My mother and I were doing the spring planting in the flower beds around the house. I went inside for a pee break and on my way to the bathroom I had to walk through the living room.

I entered the LR through the kitchen. Looked up and on the other side of the LR, I saw sitting on the couch none other than my sister. She was wearing her school uniform and was looking towards me, but not at me. Never said a word. Nothing really unusual, right?

What makes this a glitch? My sister was hundreds of miles away at boarding school. Not helping us plant flowers and certainly not sitting at the edge of the couch giving me a blank stare.

My little 8 year old self reversed course and locked himself in the half bath until he regained the courage to go back through the house and finish planting hostas.

18. 0x000004 saw themselves die and survive.

I was walking outside at 2am, looking at my phone and listening to music with my headphones. I was completely zoned out.

I was about to cross a street and briefly glanced if there was a car coming (I looked the wrong way) and if the light was green or not.

Right as I am in the middle of the road a car is basically a meter away from me and the last thing I see are the blinding headlights right below my knees and the horn blaring through my music.

A fraction of a second passes and I almost fall off my feet because I was expecting the impact and bracing for it. I open my eyes and see myself good ten feet away from the edge of the road, the song had changed, the light for the cars is green and I see the red tail lights of a lone car driving down along the road. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I had to sit down for a while.

I get home and start reading about near death experiences and I stumble on an idea called "Quantum immortality". Not sure if it messed me up even more, but the idea is that if you die in one parallel universe your consciousness still continues in the ones where you live. I was more heartbroken about the thought of my mother having to bury me in my original universe than I was about my own death.

19. Nachtmerries played with a phantom dog toy.

When my dog was younger, he was a destroyer, so he always had only one toy and i bought another one once this was broken beyond repair. I also make a point in buying distinctly memorable toys so every time he loses it a neighbor can recognise it and it is brought back to us. This time it was the form of a light house.

My dad took the dog hiking. I put the dog in the car, threw his toy in with him, and off they went.

After they came back, my sister, mom, and i played with the dog. We made him fetch his toy, throwing it between us, the whole thing.

A day later, my dad came by and gave me his toy. He said he just found it under the car seat, where it must have dropped.

I checked, and no toy was at our home. I also asked my mom and sister if they bought another one. They had not. There is also no way it could have gone back into the car since my dad is the only one using it.

I still don't know what we played with that day.

Tldr: played with dog toy that wasn't physically with us.

20. sofreshandsoclean2 said goodbye to their dad the night of his death without knowing why.

One night my dad was tucking me in when I was 8 years old. He said goodnight and I replied “goodbye.” He asked me why I said by and we laughed it off, it was just an accident. The next morning my brother found him passed in the living room. He had a heart attack in the middle of the night at the age of 48.

20 people share the most inappropriate things people have overshared with them.

$
0
0

The "overshare" is something most of us are guilty of at one time or another. Sometimes you misread the room at a dinner party, or forget that your work office is not your therapist's office (even if they have a similar asthetic). And while sharing too much information is not a crime, it can definitely cross boundaries and leave people around you uncomfortably squirming in their seats. There are certain stories and tidbits of information that are best kept to onesself (feel free to forward this to your co-worker Kathy who is always talking about her sex life at lunch).

People on Reddit are answering the question: "What weird thing did somebody tell you that they shouldn't have felt so comfortable telling you?" Here are 20 stories of overshares that put even Kathy to shame:

1.) From mblessedRadiant:

A (strange) coworker, whom I wasn't ever close with, decided to tell me at work - across the entire office - that she and her husband were having marital problems due to lack of sex. He wanted more sex. But since she wasn't trying to get pregnant, she didn't see the point and said he needed to get over it.

This happened loudly, out of nowhere and with no prompting. What made it more uncomfortable was that she was our HR person.

2.) From tianepteen:

business partner of my then boss, that had just introduced himself to me:

"nice team you've got here. we should all go on a trip to thailand together. you can fuck prostitutes without protection over there! they all have documents from their doctors showing that they're clean!"

dude was also married, with two young daughters.

what the actual fuck.

3.) From Boobyjuicy:

Chatting with another mom at the park.

Now we can chat about some pretty weird things. Like, discussing your kids pooping habits would be a normal conversation. Even to some extent discussing how things are going the bedroom isn’t that weird.

But I’ve had some weird things other moms have confided to me. The one that stands out was a mom who confessed she was a closeted lesbian, in a loveless marriage who has a huge crush on her teenage son’s girlfriend.

It got even weirder too.

4.) From DanHam117:

Years ago, I lived in Florida. My girlfriend (now wife) and I went to a Chili’s one night to get some drinks with her co-workers. After they left, we went back inside to the bar for one more drink because it was still early and we lived nearby. This older guy walks in and sits down a few stools away from us and immediately starts giving us some lighthearted shit about football, then notices my girlfriend typing something on her phone. Within 60 seconds of meeting us, he decided to drop this:

“Oh, you like looking things up on them phones huh? Google my name.”

We Google his name and the first result is a news article that names him as the victim of an attempted murder-suicide by his wife. She shot him in the head, then shot herself in the head right after. She died, he didn’t. Police came after a call of shots fired, they found him unconscious but alive, medflighted him to a hospital and he woke up later that day.

And that was his icebreaker story!

5.) From smashingwat3rmel0ns:

Waiting to get my windshield replaced a few weeks back, an older gentleman tried to hook me up with his son, then went on to tell me about his wife who had died 8 months ago, and his son’s relationship with his ex-girlfriend (she was pretending to be pregnant). This son is also on the autism spectrum, though not as bad as “The Good Doctor”, has psoriasis, and works at the deli counter of a grocery store, where he was forced to wear long sleeves because people were complaining that his skin was flaking into their meat. All within about a half hour or so.

I have what is called a “Mother Confessor” face...

6.) From Aus_Reyalp:

My sister told me she was getting her tonsils out, so that she would give better head.

7.) From Nitrogenlord:

Me, sits down for my lunch break at work. Random coworker comes and sits down and says to me, "so ive been watching cartoon monster porn".

8.) From gregortroll:

Over my working life, different women coworkers have shared some pretty intimate things:

  • having the runs.

  • how much difficulty she had getting her BF to fuck her.

  • explaining her dating / sexual history of the prior 7 years, with diagrams.

9.) From DoctorWhoops:

I don't know if this qualifies but some drunk girl said I would be a nice 'weekday-only boyfriend' very casually and that felt like a very backhanded compliment to drop on me so suddenly.

10.) From samgarrison:

Cashier at St. Louis Bread Co. informing me she's on her period and flowing very heavily. I get it, I'm a fellow woman, but damn. Its a restaurant.

11.) From MylesWithaY:

Ok, Starbucks barista here. I was working the drivethru and some lady comes in asking for an iced coffee with heavy cream. I pay it no mind as it’s not even close to my weirdest order. She gets to the window and starts trying to explain the motifs behind getting this drink. “By the way, I’m not getting this for the caffeine. I’m constipated.” Whatever still hasn’t phased me, I’m used to weird shit like this. She continued, “I tried an enema two days ago and that bullshit didn’t work at all!”

That’s where I had to stop and go to the back to breath, I was not ready for that.

12.) From aigisaurus:

I met a professional acquaintance at a friend's show one night. We knew each other vaguely, having met a couple of times, so we started having small talk. The guy obviously had gotten one too many beers, and felt it was a great time to tell me all about his "dumb moves" from his early adulthood, how his fiancée cheated on him with his best friend and how he became an alcoholic. Alright. Definitely awkward, but manageable so far.

It took a turn for the worse when he suddenly felt comfortable enough to describe, in details, how he and his friends had raped a teenage boy that was black out drunk. The acquaintance and his friends were drunk and thought it would be fun to do that while the boy was literally unconscious and unresponsive. I noped the fuck out of the conversation right after that and hope I'll never run into him again.

13.) From heycathyjoy:

My coworker went into great detail (including a hand drawn diagram) about how constipated she was after one of her c-sections. She said she was so uncomfortable that she asked her husband to try to dig some of the poo out of her butt with his finger. So she put a towel down on the bed, laid on her side, and he got to work. After some successful digging she rolled over and noticed a butter knife on the bedside table and asked what it was doing there to which he responded “well, it was too hard for my fingers”.

We are nurses, she told this story at the desk to a group of at least 5 people. We were all mortified.

14.) From akkurad:

My mother told me she named me after a character of a book she had read, and she made me read that book. After I was finished(don't ask me why I finished that book), I just was like: "What the fuck did I just read?!". The guy in the book with my name was a fucking pedophile and literally died after not eating for a month because he loved that one little girl. My mom said it was the best book she had ever read. I got nightmares of it but ok. Yes, I hate my name now.

15.) From KnockMeYourLobes:

Had a super weird chick who lived in our neighborhood once who asked me if I knew the "rules" of polygamy and swinging. I was like, "Uh....no?"

She then proceeded to tell me some long, rambling story about a house party that her husband was invited to, but not her, because they wanted to sleep with her husband but she couldn't come along to participate or watch or whatever.

Her husband was probably 6 ft 4, but weighed around 350 lbs. He was probably the original neckbeard. She was no prize either. I doubt anybody wanted to sleep with either of them.

She also told me she hated sunbathing nude because her nipples always got super sunburned. o.O

Ok then.

16.) From LeaveItToYourGoat:

My super religious ex-girlfriend from college told me that she had been possessed by a demon.

It was about a year after we started dating. She was one of the most honest people I've ever met, someone who just couldn't lie. I knew from the moment she told me this that she genuinely believed she'd been possessed. I kind of shrugged it off and tried not to ever address it.... and then I met her family.

On the first day I met them, the subject came up and I just couldn't avoid it no matter how hard I tried. It turned out that she'd "sinned" by giving up her virginity (before we met) and this allowed the demon to possess her. They even had a name for the demon, which I can't remember, but it was supposedly the name she'd always wanted to give to her future first-born son. The family had their pastor - who I would later learn had no pastoral training, no seminary schooling, etc. - come to their house to perform an "exorcism." Long story short, this presumably freed her of the demon.

I continued dating her for another year or so after this. Any time we became intimate, she would be all into it, and then afterwards she would be terrified that she had possibly opened the door to let the demon back in.

Here's my theory about what really happened, although I never got any confirmation on it. Within minutes of meeting her family, it became clear that this was a "truth-telling" family. They were honest and open about everything to an uncomfortable degree. It was almost as if she was raised to believe that lying was the greatest sin of all, right up there with fornication. So when she lost her virginity, she was so ashamed that she would just stay quiet about the whole thing so that she wouldn't have to sin twice by lying about it. When she was confronted about it, instead of admitting it she would stay silent about it. The family went to their pastor and explained the situation. This charlatan convinced them that this was a case of possession, and only through confession could she be released of the demon. I think the whole "exorcism" thing was just an elaborate ploy by the pastor to get her to confess to losing her virginity, which she did, and they were all brainwashed into thinking this was a successful exorcism of demonic possession.

I'm no psychologist, so I could be way off-base here. It's just my best guess based on everything I was able to piece together.

17.) From archeomason:

A while ago, my now-wife (then, my fiance) and I were preparing to get married here in Austin.

We spent several Sundays visiting some of the churches in the area that might serve as the ceremony venue to get a feel for them.

We visited one beautiful, fairly large, older church near downtown. At the appropriate time in the service, the minister/priest, an older gentleman - roughly late 60s-ish, started giving an odd sermon about tithing and how the parishioners had been letting the church down and in a way they were stealing from God by not giving enough. It was a bit of a strange one. And it didn't seem well-constructed and thought out; much more on-the-fly than sermons I was used to.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes of this, he wrapped up and asked everyone to bow their heads for prayer then immediately walked off the stage and started walking down the aisle. My wife and I were about 2/3 of the way back and in an empty row - the service was not particularly well-attended. I'm thinking to myself, "Well, that was kind of a weird... What's he doing? He's heading toward us... Oh. God..."

While the congregation was still mid-group prayer, he walked to our row and then slid all the way in until he was right next to me. Everyone was watching him (and now us) as they "Our Fathered" (or whatever it was). We finished the prayer and then sat down for the offering and a song. He then leaned over and whispered, "Good morning." We shook hands and he continued, "I wanted to let you know that I just had a mental breakdown up there a moment ago."

"Oh... Hey... That's alright! I... thought it was... great!" I stammered in reply.

"You're kind, but no. I'm kind of falling apart. I saw you two come in and recognized you were new. I didn't want you to take that sermon as typical of our congregation... I have to get going. It was a pleasure meeting you both," and he got up and walked right out the back door.

We didn't choose that church.

18.) From TwistedPsycho:

How tight they remained after two c sections, and how much their SO loved it.

I do not need to know that from a co-worker.... I just don't.

19.) From RubberJustice:

My housemate, 2 weeks after moving in, casually mentioned he had been taking my food from the fridge as if theft was just a hobby.

20.) From DearQueenie:

I was at a dinner party at a friend's parents' house, and his mum asked me when I was going to get married and have children. I told her, as I've told everyone pretty much all my life, that I have no interest in either. Apparently this was the perfect reason for her to then tell me all the gory details of her three pregnancies and births, leaving no disgusting physical description out even while everyone was eating and telling her to shut up, and then insist that I needed to have children because 'it's what women are supposed to do' and that it would solve all of my problems.

Yeah, I'm sure having a child will solve my abuse-related trauma, lifelong depression and physical problems, despite the fact that my own doctor has advised against it. Also, I really did not need to hear about how giving birth to my friends destroyed your vagina.

12 women share the most ridiculous ways men have tried to impress them.

$
0
0

The world is full of dudes who think that the way to win a woman's affection is by putting on an elaborate show rather than by simply starting a pleasant conversation.

Women on the receiving end of these bros' desperate attempts at impressing them are sharing on Reddit the worst flexes they were shown by men trying to impress them.

It's impossible to read these without being reminded of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

My what a guy, that Gaston.

1. "By far, the worst was when a guy was trying to show me how good he was in bed, SO HE SENT ME AUDIO OF HIM F*CKING ANOTHER GIRL. She was praising his gLoRiOuS c*ck. The audacity."

-HallofMasks


2. "Writing me a love poem 30 minutes after meeting me. That ain’t it, Chief."

-HallofMasks


3. "By telling me about all the chicks that want him. Then was genuinely shocked that I didn't immediately swoon."

-LAANAAAAAA


4. "Took me on a fancy date then told me, 'as long as you give me a son you will get this life as long as you don't try to start some stupid career.' He wanted me to drop out of college and be his 1950s housewife."

-StormingSunshine


5. "He was a teenager at a playground, and he jumped on the swings and proceeded to swing as high as possible and then jumped off. Pretty sure his knees and ankles never recovered."

-justalurkerkthxbai


6. "Took his shirt off outside of the bar and started a fight with a random stranger. What is wrong with people lol!"

-momoRn3


7. "I’m a dude, but my mom loves to tell the story of the guy in high school that asked to look at the goldfish she just won at the fair, then proceeded to take it out of the bag and swallow it. Safe to say that guy is not my dad so it didn’t really work out in his favor."

-PM-ME-GOOD-MUSIC1999


8. "Chewing out his subordinates.

I was working as a cabinet installer in new construction homes. There are usually more than one person/crew working in a house at a time. One day there were some guys stuccoing the outside of the house while I was working, and their boss showed up at the end of the day. He made direct eye contact with me, then immediately turned and just started LAYING INTO the poor workers over tiny minor issues. After a couple of minutes he looks over to make sure I saw his expression of dominance and looked shocked that I wasn't swooning."

-Sarcasma19


9. "By getting a kill in Fortnite and he said Fortnite is the best game ever and I said what about Minecraft and he said that Minecraft was by far the worst game ever."

-Im_bored_help_plz


10. "Sending pic of 'his big dick.'"

-gabriey


11. "He dedicated his shaved off mustache to me."

-_bellle_


12. "Inviting me to a concert 6 months away during our first date."

-yosaffbridge1630

Nice try, men.

Shania has spoken.

20 people share the dumbest reason their partner gave for breaking up with them.

$
0
0

While anyone who has been through it romantically is bound to have regrets over how they've treated others, and the treatment they accepted, some breakup stories truly take the cake dramatically.

Movies and televison shows are full of breakup tropes and one-liners people use to cut off a relationship without being fully honest (or interrogating their own reasons), but art imitates life, and the most bonkers breakup stories come from the real world.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the most absurd reasons they were dumped in the past, and it's honestly a good thing all these people are now free.

1. xebt1000's ex needed to focus on his career at their mutual workplace.

He needed to concentrate on his career. We worked in the same place. As security guards.

2. Goldsteina got dumped for failing a mind game.

I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn't even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked "are you sure? You said you wanted to wait" but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would, and that I "failed just like every other guy before me did". Then she dumped me.

3. chadder_b's ex broke up with them because her friend was going through a breakup.

1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn't know our relationships were tied together like that.

4. mccarthybergeron was cruelly dumped at the mall.

Not sure if this qualifies: I was 17, she was 16 and we went to the mall as my girlfriend wanted to do shopping for a bathing suit. When we got there, she asked me what I thought about the bikini she was considering getting. It looked amazing, but - naively - I questioned why she was getting one if she already had one.

She responded it was for a guy that evening and I wouldn't want her to look bad in her older, raggy suit. I stood perplexed and asked why she wanted to see the guy. She said it was to see if he liked her. She bought the bikini and left me at the store breaking up with me at the register - all with a smile. I think I stood there for a solid 20 minutes not knowing wtf just happened.

5. el_monstruo's ex had a deadline.

I remember one I got from a girl.

"I promised Isaac I'd start dating him on the 12th"

F*ck you Jennifer.

Edit: Since people were commenting, this happened my senior year of high school so I was 17-18 as was she at the time. In the end, it was for the best the "F*ck you" line above was more of a joke. It was just a shitty reason to give for the breakup, as the question asked. :)

6. Super_Saiyan_Carl didn't argue enough.

I remember one of the reasons being,

"We never argue and if we do, you never yell. I need to see emotion out of you."

I grew up in a house where my parents seemed to scream at each other any time they got in an argument. Never liked that. Figured I wouldn't if I was in a relationship.

7. Rick0r got dumped for their roommate.

That she couldn't do the whole long distance thing.

Then started dating my flatmate, who was precisely two meters more long distance than I was.

Needless to say he wasn't my flatmate for long after that.

8. bigalsplaypen was lead on for an entire year.

"I just don't want to lead you on."

We've been together for a year.

"Well, I was really just using you to get to your friend that I'm going out with now."

.....For a year?

9. Mexipads got friendzoned in their breakup.

"I love you too much and I don't want to lose you so let's be friends instead"

10. imstonedyouknow got dumped over a dream.

She called me one morning and said she had a dream that i grabbed her ass in public in front of a bunch of her family and friends. She said she couldnt be with someone who would just do that and think thats okay... i didnt know what to say. She broke up with me because of how i acted in her dream. It really makes me laugh when i think of it now but at the time i really was confused as to how that was a plausable thing in her head.

11. brownstain420's ex had to "experience life" and immediately got pregnant.

She told me she was young and was "supposed to experience her life and party and have fun".

That was the start to 2016.

The start of 2017 for her is her baby being born because she got drunk at a party.

Oh.... Oh the irony

12. MrNerd82 was completely used.

Not sure what you call it, reason/cop out/bullshit.... my ex dumped me via facebook right after I helped her through a tough time in her life (thyroid cancer surgery) Soon as she was fully recovered she ditched me, turns out all the nice awesome stuff she said and did was just to get me to stick around and help her through things.

I can handle a breakup -- but I was just straight up used and thrown away like a god damn band-aid. Was the first time in my life (at 33) I though I found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Also found out by pure accident how much of a lying piece of sh*t she was through some emails I happened upon.

Just as the highest comment says -- f*ck you Jennifer

Edit - thanks for the internet love guys and girls -- even though it sucks for anyone who goes through something similar, it's mildly comforting knowing I'm not the only one who's been through something like that .

13. whosabooboo doesn't miss this ex.

She had a nightmare that i was cheating on her with a fictional made up woman. I found it so ridiculous that it actually made the break up way easier.

14. JaytheFarmer thinks it was over a go-cart race.

I went go kart racing with my gf. During the race I ran her off the road. She broke up with me a week later. She gave a couple reasons that seemed like copouts. To this day I'm convinced it was the go-cart race.

15. ThatRugReally got dumped for introducing herself.

We were hanging out at the beach all day with a group of friends. His younger cousin shows up. I introduce myself, "hi, I'm ThatRugReally." Not even "ThatRugReally, your cousin's girlfriend." Get a text message a few days later breaking up with me because how dare I introduce myself to one of his family members, and he decides when that happens.

Apparently when his cousin showed up to the beach, that was supposed to be my cue to leave.

16. emilyMartian got dumped for being right.

I was suspicious of a girl he was hanging out with so he dumped me because of the "suspicion" and then immediately started dating her but claimed he never had thought about it until I had brought it up so therefore it was my fault.

17. brelywi got dumped because their boyfriend saw a bunch of "hot girls."

He and I went to a music festival in college. In case you've never been, there are a ton of super hot girls running around basically naked. Once we got back home, he started moping around and eventually broke up with me because "he realized there are so many hot girls out there and he wanted to try to f*ck someone hotter."

18. Bigwhistle got dumped via Anberlin song lyrics.

"I need someone who's old enough to know better, but young enough not to care." Where she got that line from I don't know, but it certainly wasn't a thought she originally had.

19. Smeggywulff was the last stop in heteroville.

This was all one sentence.

"Smeggy, I'm gay, I've met someone else, he's much richer than you are, it's not me it's you, I think we're better off as friends."

Did he miss a break up trope? Also, yes, he absolutely said "It's not me it's you." We still joke about it.

We are actually still friends. Everyone knew he was gay, except him. I knew I was a last ditch experiment, and while I wished it could have worked I knew it wouldn't. That was 14 years ago.

20. wheelzmcripple was too sad about their dead dad.

My dad died and two months later she said she had to go because I was "always sad!"

My dad died and two months later she said she had to go because I was "always sad!"

20 people share their worst dates from the past decade.

$
0
0

There's no better way to start a new decade than by reflecting on mistakes made in the last one. On the last day of 2019, a guy who goes by "Jono" asked Twitter to share their worst dates of the decade.

These 20 people share the date horror stories so bad they won worst of the decade.

R.I.P. 2000-2019. Rest in the past forever.

1.) Not a bad excuse tbh.

2.) #neverforget #poopgate

3.) Como se dice "I'm an idiot"?

4.) He brought a coupon for one bad date.

5.) Kiss of death.

6.) Busy not getting murdered.

7.) Nothing spices up a date like dead bodies.

8.) An entrepreneur.

9.) Not the best foundation.

10.) Red hat = red flag.

11.) Smashing that creeper ceiling.

12.) You can stand under my salmonella, ella, ella.

13.) Always wait until the 3rd.

14.) A family man.

15.) He was a sheeple person.

16.) She literally fell for someone.

17.) They had a lot in common.

18.) She was blindsided.

19.) Oh no baby what is you doing?

20.) Looking for someone more invisible.

Bride asks if she was wrong for stopping a proposal from happening at her wedding reception.

$
0
0

It seems like straight men are in a race to the bottom when it comes to who can execute the laziest marriage proposal. But one recent story shows that their loved ones are fighting back.

A woman recently asked for advice on Reddit after she thwarted a proposal at her own wedding. Basically, her cousin's boyfriend was about to propose to her cousin at this woman's wedding reception. Most decent people realize this is a huge no-no. And the bride stepped in to make it stop.

The couple ended up getting engaged later that night — and now they're planning their wedding for the bride's one-year wedding anniversary.

Now, the bride is asking the question: "Am I the a-hole for not allowing someone to propose during my wedding reception and for planning on not going to their wedding?"

The bride had a "fairly decent sized wedding," attended by her step-dad's side of the family, which included the offending cousin and her boyfriend:

My cousin (on my stepdads side - we are not close whatsoever) and her boyfriend have only been dating not even 6 months at this point. I’ve met the guy once before my wedding and he never shows up to any family functions. We’re all having a great time at my wedding. My husband and I are mingling with guest while everyone dances.

Then, all hell broke loose:

The next thing I know is my cousins boyfriend asks the DJ for his mike and goes to the center of the dance floor saying he has an “announcement” to make and calls my cousin over. So, I rush over and say, “Nope, no one is getting engaged during my special day especially during my reception. You can get engaged later tonight but not right now. It’s my day. Thank you for understanding.” and I go to walk away.

Instead of taking the loss in a dignified manner, her cousin's family went nuclear:

My cousin starts puffing and my aunt (her mom) starts yelling at me and calling me an entitled brat. It causes a huge fight and they all end up leaving. My mom, stepdad, dad, and stepmom all are on my side and were even pissed that they think its okay to do that during a wedding they all paid for. My nana (step dads mom) says I was wrong and told me to apologize and call them over and allow him to propose. Needless to say, it didn’t happen.

Christmas came and went and it was awkward:

Flash forward to Christmas. Ugh, it was terrible! My stepdads entire side were rude and ignoring my husband and I. And of course, guess what happens! My cousin and her now fiancé announced their wedding date - September 21st, 2020!

Now, the bride is wondering if it'd be an overreaction to skip their wedding in September:

I’m beyond pissed and so not planning to go. It’s my damn one year wedding anniversary! My family is upset that they would do that to piss me off for not allowing them to get engaged during my reception. My cousin says they chose to get married on their one year engagement anniversary. Either way, regardless of the real reason, I’m still upset. Of course, my nana is super excited.

Most people agree that the bride is right to be annoyed.

After all, this was supposed to be her special day:

You don’t get to hijack someone else’s event to make it your event. And wtf kind of do thinks this is ok???

As it’s your anniversary you will be otherwise occupied. - AnarchoNAP

And the cousin's boyfriend could've at least asked before attempting to hijack the reception:

It was your day! Incredibly rude! Furthermore, he should have asked you first and you could have politely said no, saving any embarrassment. Morons. - PartyCat78

One person even came for the bride's nana:

That is EXTREMELY tacky of someone to do!!!! To propose at your wedding? Holy crap. Your family is AWFUL. This person isn't even someone you know!! And they didn't even ASK you, he just DID it?!?!?! JESUS

Trash. Your nana sucks. - zukka924

And for those who still don't understand, 11notagoodusername11 goes through the A to Z of why the cousin's boyfriend was in the wrong:

Proposing at a wedding is straight up rude. Especially without permission. You were 100% in the right to stop that from happening. A lot of work, time and money goes into planning a wedding and reception. Taking advantage of that to make it all about you is super messed up. As for attending their wedding, I’d say might as well go and drink on their dime. I enjoy weddings, so it probably wouldn’t bother me a ton. You could always ask the DJ for the mic to make a speech about how happy you are to have been married for a year, and how wonderful it is to spend your anniversary with all of your family. Don’t mention the couple at all. See how they like someone pulling the focus away from a day they worked hard for.

So, yeah. Pretty much no one took the cousin and her boyfriend's side.

The bride responded again to thank the people who took her side:

You guys have been so sweet! I’m trying my best to reply back to every single comment since you all took the time to comment on my post. (Y’all will get your reply eventually!) Thank you guys so much! It’s totally making me feel better after this messed up situation! 💕

13 people share how tough their 'glamorized' careers really are.

$
0
0

When you're wiling away are your 9-to-5, it's easy to think that another career would be a lot more glam.

But the truth is, pretty much all jobs are just... well... work. And in fact, often the more glam an industry seems, the easier it is for the people in charge to exploit those who are dying to get inside.

From modeling to film to video games, a bunch of Reddit users opened up about the glamorous jobs that are actually a nightmare.

1. Working in a professional kitchen is not for the faint of heart.

Chef.

Long hours, shitty environment, nothing is ever good enough. - flyover_liberal

Long hours, dangerous work environment, rampant substance abuse, shit pay (unless you've been in it forever), cripples your social life because of the hours and leaves you with being friends with the high-functioning alcoholic bartenders.

I love cooking and am thankful for the experience... But never again. - CaptHooksCookBooks

2. Ever seen "Suits"? Or maybe "Legally Blonde"? Yeah, being a lawyer is nothing like that.

I don't practice law anymore, but when I did I mostly did criminal defense and occasional civil cases. Almost all the attorneys I knew all had great professional lives and personal lives comprised of utter shit. Alcohol abuse was rampant. Drug use was frequent. I knew attorneys who had "pharmacy drawers" in their office that they consulted when they needed a specific remedy. I knew a public defender who dropped dead of a massive heart attack as he was leaving for court. One attorney I knew said he loved going to new restaurants because he and his wife didn't have sex any more and that was his only real passion now.

And I'm sure there are some attorneys who love their job. I'm sure there are many who are satisfied. But glamorous? Not in my experience. - ButtholeBanquet

3. This may surprise you, but the glory days of radio are gone.

Radio announcer. Like a lot of other jobs in the entertainment industry, it’s full time work for part time pay. Second jobs are common. Your pizza delivery guy just may be your favourite morning show host! At least, that’s how the morning guy at my station made ends meet, until he was laid off in the last round of cutbacks.

Now we’re a “hybrid station,” which is the preferred business model these days. That’s a fancy way of saying one person does everything while you run a ton of syndicated programs. 12 hour days of minimum wage. - originalchaosinabox

4. Veterinarians have a tough life.

Veterinarian.

Insanely competitive schooling that crippled you with debt, with a depressing debt:income ratio after graduation.

Most of your patients don’t like you, and most of the owners think you’re getting rich upselling them unnecessary services when their dogs’s exploding eyeball cancer can be cured with raw organic exotic meats/cbd/coconut oil, but you’re withholding that information because you’re in bed with Big Kibble.

High stress, stagnant wages, long hours, shit holiday leave. Rampant depression. Lost count of how many colleagues have committed suicide. Sometimes tempted to join them. - Dontbeavet

5. Working on a film set can be taxing.

Film crew.

Yes, you sometimes meet famous people. Sometimes they're cool, often they're really not. The days are 14+ hours of work with a commute of who knows how long on either end, depending where you're shooting. You have half an hour for lunch. Coffee breaks are whenever you're not needed on set, so depending on your job (I was in camera, and we rarely had a down moment), it could be almost never. More often than not, someone on set is yelling. People lose their minds over making really shitty entertainment. You start work by 7am on Monday, and by Friday you're coming in at 4pm and leaving when the sun comes up on Saturday. There are no paid holidays, no paid sick days, no paid vacation. If you don't work enough qualifying hours, the union kicks your healthcare.

And this is if you're IN a union. Non-union, much worse. Sexual harassment is through the roof, but the kids who get it the worst are afraid to say anything or they'll lose their jobs. I have been told some real horror stories about famous actors, some of whom I still haven't seen get outed by the Me Too movement. And I'm not talking word-of-mouth, second-hand stories. I'm talking about young women who whisper to each other what shows to avoid and make them swear to never use their name because if they want to work in this industry, they can't be known as a troublemaker.

I watched so many co-workers fall into addictions, lose family, miss their children's lives, over the dumbest TV shows in the world. If you go union, the money can be good, but it's not worth it. It's just not worth it. - sonictypewriter

6. Working at the zoo is not a walk in the park.

Former animal care guy, did some zoo work but more sanctuary and wildlife rehab work. The animals are rewarding, but for all the effort it takes just to get your foot in the door is crazy and the pay is not livable. At the last place I worked I also had horrible bosses. Sure I could tell they cared about animals, but they had absolutely no people or management skills. I still don't understand how they got their current positions. I left the field and while I miss the animals, I don't see myself going back because I like being able to buy things like food and toilet paper. Having the holidays off and not having to fight tooth and nail for a day off is nice too. - TheFatMan2200

7. Making money as a ballet dancer is rare.

Ballet dancer

Parents spend tens of thousands (or more) on training. They give up their entire teen years and schooling (most elite ballet dancers are homeschooled and a large percentage move away from home for training in high school).

Most dancers you see on stage in a ballet are paying to be there. The bottom rungs of ballet companies are pay to play. Then when you have paid to dance a few years you might be able to get a position that pays you with a dozen pairs of pointe shoes and a stipend for performances. Then maybe you'll be promoted to the bottom level where you get paid 20K a year and have no health insurance. All while putting your body through major torture. - meatball77

8. Working in politics isn't very steady.

Political staffer. Most jobs in politics pay very little money and require you to work 80+ hours a week for a boss who is guaranteed to have a gigantic ego. You also have to look for a new job after every election day. - TogarSucks

9. The bright lights of TV aren't what they seem.

I've started working in Television from a too young an age. It was amazing to witness all the behind the scenes stuff, but the reality is that these days you just can't make enough money from performing on TV. Let alone the deprivation of creative freedom (which is what got my show cancelled I think). - Doctor_Philly

10. Tyra Banks didn't lie: the life of a model is hard.

Modeling, too competitive and not enough food. - hio_world_im_bored

And all you do is wait around at castings and shoots just to get told what’s wrong with your physical features. - jennybelly

11. Despite how much it costs to dine out, restaurants are far from a gold mine.

Most employees steal from you

You can never go on a vacation as by the time you come back the food quality is shit and you've lost half your clientele

New food handling rules appear every day

People running out without paying

Throwing out hundreds/thousands of $ if you need to close over the holiday and your stock goes bad.

I co owned the business with my brother, it was nice, good income but i put it up for sale without telling him, sold it 1 month later and we're both 50x happier after that. - 0O0O1O0O0

12. Working in the video game industry? It's not the same as playing video games.

The video game industry. A lot of kids and teens want in it so bad because “I grew up playing games blah blah blah they take me to another world blah blah blah.” Then you become an adult and learn that it’s all math and physics, and making a video game has NOTHING to do with what you experienced growing up. It’s all black screens of code, polygons, and being criticized for your work.

What’s worse, if you make games you probably never have the time to play them anymore. The gaming industry is notorious for implementing 60-80 hour work weeks. - Nofreeupvotes

13. And as far as investment banking... okay, no, no one feels bad for you.

Investment Banking. People talk about the fancy plane rides, expensive dinners, wild parties with your colleagues or a client. The reality of it is you're never trully off work, always on-call like a surgeon.

Works weeks are usually 60-100 hours and can be brutal if one follows another.

It's really more like working from 9AM-10PM in office and then get home to work another bit and have any given presentation ready stat. I've gone all-nighters followed by client meetings where all I have time for is a quick shower and a 7/11 coffee. - armarisau

15 firefighters share the dumbest situations they rescued people from.

$
0
0

Being a firefighter means being exposed to both the bravest and stupidest people humanity has to offer. Contrary to popular belief, firefighting isn't all running into burning buildings, it also involves medical calls from people who don't know where to stick their genitals—and that's even more terrifying than an inferno.

Firefighters and first responders shared the stories of their dumbest rescues on Reddit, and please, for everybody's sake: don't put your private parts in a Jacuzzi jet.

1. John_Wick_Detroit braves the Michigan tundra:

Dumba** tried to cross a raging river in zero degree weather about a 300 foot span on a snowmobile. He lived but didn't make the crossing and the machine was recovered days later.


2. Don't forget to like and subscribe, FountainofR!

I once had a firefighter tell me he almost died in a house fire while going back into the house to look for the owner. A neighbor was concerned about why the firefighter was still in the residence so he asked another firefighter. This is about how the exchange went:

Neighbor: Why is that fireman still in the house?
Firefighter: He's looking for the owner of the home.
Neighbor: He is right over there with the video camera.

Turns out the owner did not think it was important to alert the fire department he was out of the house. Instead, he was just taking video of the whole event.

The fire started because the owner had tried to smother his barbecue cooker flame with left over wood from the siding that had been installed on his home. The owner did not realize it would burn. Burned his whole house down.


3. Horizon317 met a trucked up driver.

We needed to close the main connection through a forest over the winter because the trees were falling faster on the road than we could remove them due to way to much snow falling. Also the redirection was more than an hour longer due to the snow.

Some cars thought that they would come through but turned around as soon as they saw the trees on the road.

One semi also thought he'd get through. He drove up to the trees and called the fire brigade and complained why we didn't remove the trees. As he was calling a bunch of trees behind him also fell locking him in.

It stood there one month before the trees and the snow could get removed by us that at least the semi can back out. We needed another month until the road was free again.


4. Do it for the 'gram, FrankieFillibuster.

Former firefighter/EMT. Easily the dumbest person I encountered was a mother of 4 who decided it would be an awesome idea to get a Facebook/Instagram worthy picture of her kids (all under age 10) sitting in a rowboat.

Mother untied it from the dock and thought she'd just pull them back with the rope... That she forgot to hold on to.

They floated a half mile down the river before the two oldest boys managed to grab a branch hanging over the bank.

It was really surreal to see 4 young kids, all in matching clothing, sitting in a boat waiting to be rescued. I have no clue what happened after, but they were physically fine, just scared, a little tired but the mom was in full blown panic mode and kept getting in our way. I hope she's making better choices now.


5. It's easy as pie, medicgenius.

I was called to a home to get a pie out of the oven before it caught fire.

The lady went to the store and was delayed for some reason. she called 911 to have the fire department take the pie out of the oven and place it on the stove. The call came in as " Something stuck in oven and unable to turn off stove". Still #1 call in 32 years :)


6. And he oop, The_Phantom_W.

It wasn't really his fault, but we had an old guy in a nursing home get his balls stuck in a shower chair.


7. It takes a knob to ignore a knob, LTBT.

A motorist had a bad alternator and the car died while she/he was driving. The electric lock control stopped working. We were dispatched for a person trapped in a motor vehicle. On arrival, the advice was given to manually lift the lock knob.
You can easily tell the ones who will not survive the first 24 hours of the zombie apocalypse.


8. Don't yuck somebody's yum, Gruppet.

Firefighter/Paramedic in suburb of Phx. Had to transport a guy to the ER because he was constipated. His wife tried to dig it out with a wooden spoon. Spoon got stuck and hurt to move it.

Walked in and there’s a 250 lb man, butt naked, lying on his side with a huge wooden spoon stuck halfway up his butt.


9. TheULCgoat with an extreme version of that episode of Friendswhere Chandler and Joey bought their barcaloungers:

Me and my dad are both firefighters and he said one time they went to a house because an elderly man could not get out of the leather recliner because he had been sitting in it for a week straight and his wife would just serve him drinks/ food and the guy never got up. He would just get drunk and urinate/defecate himself until he was physically stuck to the chair and they had to cut him out.


10. invadermoody has the tools for that tool.

Dude picked up a metal ring from a hardware store in lieu of paying for an actual cock ring.

It got stuck. He went to the hospital. The hospital called the fire department because a dremel tool turned out to be the right tool for the job.


11. whats_the_frequency_ with a PSA:

My dad saved a dude who got his gentleman’s bits stuck in a Jacuzzi jet. Dude was looking for a cheap thrill and his dingus swelled up and jammed


12. Pull my finger, merge51.

Stuck my finger in a school cafeteria table when I was in third grade and firefighters had to cut me out with those giant bolt cutters.


13. caponmyhead might have been a hallucination.

Current volunteer firefighter here. Had to pull a kid from his car after he wrecked it into a tree. Kid was so high out of his mind that he didn't even realize he was in a car accident. He kept asking us and the EMTs to "let him back in his car so he could just drive home."


14. Silent_Judge1, not-so-silently judging.

Rescued a guy trying to surprise his girlfriend on Christmas by coming down the chimney completely unannounced. Her son noticed something was going on before she did, put a starter log in the fireplace and almost killed him had the smoke not started billowing out the fireplace into the living room.
I ran into her with a different guy by St. Patrick's.

Sorry buddy


15. AmongstTheExpanse met the smartest kid of the bunch:

Not me but my lieutenant told me they went out for a kid who had gotten himself stuck in a tree. Upon arriving my lieutenant called up to the kid and said “you know we're only supposed to save cats out of trees, right?” The kid, god love him, let out a long “meoooooooow”

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images