"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."
-Jane Austen
While you're home trying to maintain your sanity and not stress eat all of the emergency snacks in one day, take a moment to laugh at these hilarious memes. They perfectly nail what we are all feeling right now. Things are crazy, stressful, and chaotic, but at least we can still to binge-watch TV and laugh at memes.
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“If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am.”
-Charles Yu
Life is so hard, especially now. Luckily we have dogs to get us through. These fur-covered angels are always there to brighten our day. Even just looking at pictures of cute dogs and puppies helps calm the nerves and bring a smile to our faces. De-stress with these hilarious dog memes and definitely give your puppers an extra treat tonight. They deserve it!
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The coronavirus pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone. And now that we all have to keep our distance, we're relying on social media more than ever for crucial information on how to keep ourselves and others safe. But even with all of the information available online and in the news, unfortunately not everyone seems to get it. Even in a global health crisis, ignorance is alive and thriving!
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Not sure if note-passing is still necessary in the era of smartphones. But back in my day (*adjusts old lady glasses*), it was all the rage and a great way to make class go by faster, entertain your friends, and make yourself Public Enemy #1 with your teachers. Note-passing was equal parts exciting and terrifying, because if a teacher intercepted it, you were at risk of a scolding, detention, or worse, being publicly shamed by them reading the note out oud.
1.) From ccjrod:
I found a note under the seat of an extremely talkative female student after class. I knew she was dating a student called, "Ron." It listed all of the things she was going to do to him after school, all of which were sexual in nature. My favorite part was when she said she wanted to, "Taste the Ronbow."
I was a second year teacher at the time and I really didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So, I got a red pen and corrected all of the grammar and spelling mistakes. The next day before her class strolled in, I placed it on the seat of her desk. She immediately knew I was the one who graded it. We never discussed it but I had very few problems with her talking the rest of the year.
2.) From maggoty:
In primary school, I had a teacher in Grade 5 who would read out the notes passed around if she caught it happening. So I wrote out a note and made it obvious I was trying to pass it to someone. She got the note bought to the front of the room and started to read it out. It said, 'Thank you students, you can all go home now, Class dismissed'
She had a laugh about that one... hehe
3.) From keepcooler:
When my mother was a teacher in an inner city middle school, she found a note left behind in a classroom that said something along the lines of "I really hope I can get pregnant by the age of 16 cuz I don't want my child to have an old mom"
I just remember asking myself what is wrong with the world
4.) From blowjobs4everyone:
Not intercepted but I found it after lab where two guys would always sit. Pretty sure they both wrote it because it was on the back of one of their lab sheets that they left behind.
Person 1: "boobs"
Person 2: "yeah i know"
Such a simple exchange, almost poetic really.
5.) From Chanther:
Fifteen years ago when I was a new teacher, I confiscated a note that was a caricature of me with one hand down my pants and the other pushing a finger up my nose.
I still have it - it was really funny.
I wish I also had a picture of the absolute look of terror on the sixth grader's face when I confiscated it. I gave him a dry eyebrow-raised look and we never spoke of it again. He was in my corner after that.
6.) From islefan:
I intercepted a note from an 11 year old boy. He was passing the note to a girl he was asking out. The kid was furious with me and the next day I received a picture he drew of me in a cauldron because I blew his only chance with the girl.
7.) From dot11:
My friend and I were passing a note about how hot we thought our German teacher was aaaaand he took it up, read it, looked at us (both of us were very red faced by that point) and just shook his head. The next day he assigned us to seats on opposite sides of the classroom
8.) From Jackson20Bill:
My chorus teacher sings the notes she catches, she usually just skims through it, but this time she just put the paper on the piano and started singing. It ends up being an entire story about a girl who ended up dating her cousin. Very uncomfortable for the entire room.
9.) From Sittingduck07:
Toward the end of eighth grade, my band class wanted to do something nice for our teacher. We were passing a note about it around during class and the teacher caught on and demanded to see it. Of course, no one wanted the teacher to see this note, so someone told the kid who was holding it to eat it. Everyone joined in and the entire class chanted ”Eat it!” So he shoved the paper into his mouth while looking the teacher right in the eyes. The teacher was so shocked he let it go and the surprise went off without any other problems.
10.) From nastypearl:
I taught 8th grade English in a rural county in the bible belt. I taught Midsummer Night's Dream after TCAP (standardized end of year tests - the last two months of school was babysitting).
I found a note passed between two boys. It was about one of the main characters in the play and it was written in Elizabethan English. It was written poorly, but they had really put some effort into the trash talk.
I found out later who had written it and gave them extra credit for paying attention to such a degree as to replicate Shakespearean style language. It was one of the top ten that made me excited to be teaching.
11.) From buttrice:
Teacher took a note from my friend, who was asking his other friend, if he also looked and compared how hairy ballsacks were in the locker room. Needless to say, we all erupted in laughter. This was in 8th grade.
12.) From BabyTea:
My sister is a teacher. Grades 3 and 4. They were just learning about some sex ed, but obviously still very, very naive. One day she caught a note being passed from a boy to a girl saying "I like your bobs." - She found it extremely hard to keep herself composed. It's so innocent, it's hilarious.
13.) From GoWithItGirl:
I had a teacher confiscate a note I was passing to a friend. Only it wasn't a note; it was a tampon.
14.) From TheSixofSwords:
I had a teacher do the same thing, but she didn't think it through first and didn't pretend to read it...she actually read it. :( Unfortunately it was written to a friend who was constantly harassed by some bitchy girls and the note said "Don't let Alyssa bother you...in 5 years you'll be graduating college and she'll be a worn-out whore."
Guess who was in that class with us? The teacher got in a metric shit-ton of trouble, which I kind of feel bad about but not really because she should have read the note to herself first. I got a 3-day suspension. I was more or less right about that girl, though.
15.) From [deleted]:
I had this eldery, mean, nosey teacher in middle school. She was the kind of woman who strode into the Nurse's office, sneered at the kids and prodded the the Nurse to talk about them, especially a little girl with a weight problem. She taught health and some sort of reading class (we got lots of kids who point blank couldn't read).
She was infamous for reading the notes she intercepted aloud to the class, so one day, after she intercepted a note of mine asking something trivial and belittled me, I wrote a note and very obviously passed it to the kid at the next table over, urging him to pass it along. It went to three kids before she caught it, snatching in out of a girl's hands, striding back to her desk, and reading loudly in her typical condescending tone-
"I'm Sofa King, stupid."
Seriously.
16.) From iKickPillows:
in middle school my algebra teacher confiscated a note that a couple of us were writing about our new product idea... vagina mints :/
17.) From fammdamm:
Not a teacher interference, but still embarrassing:
One day in my 9th grade english class, very emotional and angsty me decided to write a poem about how hard life is and how OUT OF CONTROL I am etc. Later that night my sister and her friend came home from hanging out after school, laughing hysterically at a piece of paper. My sister came up to me saying "look at this awful poem we found in a desk in (my teacher's name)'s classroom! It's ridiculous, and just... terrible! We're keeping this one."
She had no idea it was the one I wrote.
18.) From MyEvilDucky:
When I was a freshman in my high school literature class, we all had assigned seating. I'm not sure who instigated it, but a correspondence started between me and another girl from a different period, all written in pencil on the desk.
At first, we wrote simple "Hi!" and "Hi yourself!" notes, but throughout the semester our notes got longer and longer, and we became kind-of pen pals. We never discussed anything "bad," I guess we were both pretty good girls. Our teacher caught on and actually encouraged it. Eventually we stopped writing on the desk and just left notes on paper to each other. Her class period was before mine, and she left the note she wrote with the teacher. At the beginning of each class, our teacher brought me the note she had written. I'd leave one with him for her after class. It went on all year.
19.) From ACertaintyIEnvy:
My friends love to tell this story -- I was away at my first year of college and my then-girlfriend and her best (male) friend were passing a note in class. It was the week before my spring break and they were talking about how excited she was to see me, how much she had been missing me and loved me, etc. Then out of nowhere the teacher comes charging up the aisle saying "Love letter, love letter! Give it to me so I can read it to everyone!" My friend says that my girlfriend literally turned white because A. I am female and B. they were in Catholic school and C. she was very closeted as she was already bullied for being boyish. So as the teacher gets closer and reaches out to grab the note, our friend shoves it in his mouth and swallows it. So our secret stayed safe!
Bonus twist: we later found out the teacher was a drag queen. But that's a whole other story ...
20.) From OBEY_VanCity:
I went to a catholic highschool just outside of Vancouver, a couple of friends had this thing where whenever the other was out of the room or not paying attn, they would draw dicks all over their work and binders. One day, one of the kids, Nelson, left to go to the bathroom and awkwardly took all his books and binders with him, holding it infront of his 'bathing suit area', In hopes that he wouldn't get all his homework covered in poorly drawn dicks. Everyone noticed and kinda laughed at the confusion. When he came back, the other friend passed him a note, teacher saw it, grabbed it, and read out loud, "Nelson, everyone in the class thinks you have a boner"
21.) From mostdope28:
My freshmen year in math the girl behind was passing notes to the girl in front, she would just have me hand them to her. Eventually after getting tired of passing it for her I decided to just read it. The note basically said something like, "Something bad is about to happen, I can see my birthmark and it only shows up when something bad is about to happen!". I showed it to the kid next to me and we started laughing our asses off. She started crying and left class. Tl;dr: Read note from girl behind me, she cried and left
22.) From JesusSwallows:
My friends and I were clandestinely doing a mad lib in AP English and our teacher confiscated it. She read the first sentence and couldn't help but chortle. It was something like "Dear Mom, Terri Schiavo won't stop waxing my butthole."
Gal Gadot and a slew of other celebrities got together to record a cover of John Lennon's "Imagine," hoping to inspire people during the coronavirus quarantines.
While some are praising the song as an uplifting gesture during dark times, others are calling it tone-deaf and pointing out the privilege of the stars who took part — especially in light of the clear differences in COVID-19 care for celebrities versus civilians.
In the Instagram video, Gadot says she was inspired to record the cover after she saw a video of a quarantined man in Italy playing "Imagine" on the trumpet from his balcony.
"These past few days got me feeling a bit philosophical," she says. "This virus had affected the entire world, everyone. It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, we're all in this together."
She was inspired to do something similar to uplift her followers. She called on Eddie Benjamin, Jimmy Fallon, Natalie Portman, Zoe Kravitz, Sia, Lynda Carter, Amy Adams, Leslie Odom Jr., Pedro Pascal, Chris O'Dowd, Dawn O'Porter, Will Ferrell, Mark Ruffalo, Norah Jones, Ashley Benson, Kaia Gerber, Cara Delevingne, Annie Mumolo and Maya Rudolph.
Together, the entertainers recorded one line each of the classic '60s tune about peace, unity and understanding. They then apparently sent the clips to Gadot, who had them assembled into giant super-cover reminiscent of LiveAid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
But according to some people, Gadot's cover is just as out of touch as that classic cringeworthy carol.
Some fans found the video to be a welcome bright spot in their day:
But not everyone was into it.
Many on Twitter implied that a better solution might be for the stars to take real action to help those who are affected by the virus.
Especially because, let's face it, these people are super rich.
The lyrics of the song are a bit rich when coming from the wealthy.
Entertainer Vidya S. Rajan wrote her own alternative lyrics.
Others just found the whole thing cringey.
And called the project "nonsense."
As one Twitter user pointed out, some of the stars look happier to be there than others.
If we didn't need bingeworthy TV shows and movies during quarantine, people might just be tempted to burn the whole Hollywood apparatus down.
At least celebrities are doing their part to keep us occupied during the end times.
Forget ghost or alien encounter stories.
Sometimes the creepiest occurrences just involve other people.
One Reddit thread asked people to share the creepiest things that ever happened to them. Whether caused by paranormal forces or just plain weirdos, all of these stories will freak you out.
This happened about three years ago or so. I was sitting in the kitchen, and it was around 10pm or so. I heard a really loud "thump" in the basement.
I live alone with two dogs so any sound is somewhat frightening to me.
So, as I'm walking down the stairs to the, basement, I hear the thumping again, in an oddly rhythmic pattern. I creak open the door into the basement bedroom, and I see my dog is just ramming his head and body into the wall, over and over.
I cant explain to you how shockingly unnatural looking it was. It looked like... he was controlled or something. I called him over, and he stopped and came upstairs with me.
It goes on:
Three hours later, I hear the thumping again. I get out of bed again, However, when I went down to check it, it was my OTHER dog that was ramming his head into the wall.
It was like he was possessed. Scared the cheese out of me.
Since then, nothing like that has happened, but what an unexplainable event... - Godhand0
I worked with a girl who casually told the story of someone almost kidnapping her little sister.
One day she walked outside to tell her 6 (?) year-old sister to come inside, and her sister was climbing into the open door of a car at the end of the driveway. My coworker screamed and the car drove off without the sister. - Delica
I'm a biologist that often has to do field work surveying unmaintained private properties in the middle of nowhere.
Long story short, we find a body face-up in a stream deep in a thickly wooded wetland. The body looked several months old, at least. No clothes, no tools, no shelter, nothing nearby to suggest who he is or how he got there. We couldn't even tell race or gender from what we saw.
We call the police and they immediately tell us it's probably the missing person who ditched his car nearby. They apparently searched for weeks with dogs, horses, and ATVs but didn't find any sign of the guy. All they found was his family car loaded with cash and a handgun. They also tell us he seemed to be running from someone or something, real or imagined they weren't sure. Apparently the man didn't even close his car door - just ditched it at a rail crossing and took off running into the woods in a tremendous hurry.
The weirdest part:
I find his clothes about 30 yards up the stream bank from where the body was found. His pants were neatly folded and placed on top of his nice brown loafers, underpants and socks on top of those. He placed his glasses atop his socks, very orderly and in a nice pile. His shirt and undershirt were hanging from a tree branch right above those as if to dry.
I mean, the whole thing creeps me out even a year on. But what unsettles me is the fact that he ran from his family, drove several hours from his home, ditched his car, and fought a mile through briars and thick woods only to stop and carefully fold and hang his clothes before meeting his end.
I look him up every now and then and still can't find any more info about what happened or why. - creativeandwittyname
I was heading home from my mom's and was at a light next to a gas station when the person next to me told me there was something wrong with my tire. I pulled into the gas station and when I saw the person follow me in, I felt something off, so I didn't get out. Instead I called my mom on my cellphone and when the guy pulled next to me, I gave him a thumbs up through the windshield. I then drove back to my mom's (which I had just left and was only a few minutes away). I get there, get out, we look at my tires and they are just fine. - michaelthecoder
My neighbor had a stalker. The man would sit in the car and watch her, hide in bushes. It was awful for her. We called the cops on him several times. - mcoiablog
When I was a child in New Hampshire I went exploring by myself and got lost in the woods. I was not worried about it in the least, and was just walking around. All of a sudden, I noticed someone standing about 25 feet away from me, and he was just standing perfectly still facing me. He was all bundled up in a bunch of shirts and jackets... one over the other over the other, and his face was completely hidden by what looked like dirty rags. He was wearing big flat lensed goggle. He just stood there staring at me. I stared back for a few seconds and then turned and ran. Maybe 30 minutes later I managed to find my way back to the edge of the lake, and was able to get back to where we were staying. - TheJaundicedEye
A Sam Club's employee took pictures of me in the bathroom when I was twelve.
When I was twelve, my family and I went to Sam's Club. Being a little a**hole, I decided that I didn't want to walk with my family, so I wandered around looking at clothes and books.
An employee kept watching me. Like staring really bad. I figured he thought I was going to steal, so I smiled at him so he knew I wasn't Bad™. He smiled back. He kept checking me out though, and asked me how old I was. We talked about my favorite books and video games. I remember being uncomfortable but couldn't figure out why, because he was super nice to me.
I remember wondering if he was flirting with me, but reasoned that he couldn't be, because I'm a boy. Really weird conclusion to come to, but I was twelve. I genuinely thought he was just interested in my favorite video games.
Then, it gets really odd:
The conversation died down and I decided I needed to piss, so I went into the bathroom. Less than ten seconds later and the restroom door opens. The guy stands in front of my stall, even though there were empty ones. I recognised the guy's shoes as the employee's. I stand there for a couple minutes, done pissing, but really confused and kind of scared. I thought he followed me because he thought I was stealing.
Then the guy held a camera over the stall door and took a picture of me. Like real quick, one or two pictures of me just fuckin standing there looking up at the camera. My d*** wasn't out or anything. Just me. In the bathroom. Someone else came in and he immediately went to the sink and started washing his hands like he'd just finished using the bathroom. Then he left.
It was really creepy. I didn't tell my mom anything except that "the Sam's Club guy thinks I'm stealing". And she laughed. I realised waaaay later that he was a pedophile. - offmechesttossedaway
I was mid-way through a 12-hr roadtrip alone, driving all my college aprtment stuff back to my parents' house. Car was totally overpacked with boxes, a bike, keyboard, and the like.
I'm very low on gas, so I pull over to a gas station in the middle of nowheretown, Georgia. ...
As I'm pumping gas, a scraggly thin guy walks up and starts mumbling about asking for the time. ...
As I go into the store and search for a cable, I notice scraggly man also entered and he's now talking with the clerk of the store. ...
I find my cable and as I approach the register, [the cashier] makes small talk about noting my car overpacked and asked if I was moving somewhere, all the like. She asks about the cable and I explain it's to secure my bike more firmly...
Then alarm bells started ringing:
she then tells me I should drive my car behind the gas station and they'll help me tie it up tight. Speaking in the plural, implying what I kinda already deduced: she and the man are associates somehow.
Again, my car is just outside the window of the shop, in clear view of the main road. She tells me I should drive it behind the building, where nobody could see it, for them to help me tie it up. As though that help couldn't be done in the normal refueling area.
At this point, my gtfo meter is maxing out at 3.4 rungeon so I thank her but tell her I'll be ok, and then I practically jog to my car and get in, locking the doors immediately. As I leave, I watch through the window as the woman and man are in a very animated conversation, gesticulating towards my fleeing vehicle.
Could I have been paranoidly misreading these people because they kinda looked like methheads? Sure. But making an offer that sketchy is not a very normal thing to do.
I was at my uncles house in some countryside with my sister and we were playing hide and seek. My uncle went out to buy some food for us. I was hiding downstairs in this weird closet/attic thing i found. I heard a little banging noise and got a little spooked. I then chalked it up to a little rat or something and continued to hide. I then heard a snore and a groan. I immediately got out and ran to my sister. We both sat at the door together, crying, until my uncle got home. My uncle just laughed it off and we were relieved. A decade later, an old mans dead body was found when my uncle tried to sell the house. It was revealed he was squatting there for almost a decade and he had written in a notebook how he was going to kill my uncle and keep the home for himself, and i think that would've happened if he didnt die. - chingchingrappa
My aunt used to live in a remote farmhouse not in walking distance to anywhere and once a guy walked onto her porch from who knows where and just casually had a seat. When she questioned him he was acting super weird and not making sense so naturally she called the police.
Eventually the cops got to the bottom of it, he was out picking mushrooms with friends and somehow got separated from them, got extremely lost and by the time he wandered on to my aunt's porch he was severely dehydrated which caused his erratic behaviour. Hopefully your neighbour's porch guy had an innocent reason like that. Or he was just creepy. - ihopeyoulikeapples
Back in the early 90's my sister took my nephew to a playground to play. When they were leaving she noticed a man approaching her. He was well dressed in a suit, and seemed to be driving a beat up pickup truck. He asked her if she could drive him to the gas station a few blocks up so he could call a tow truck, as his truck had broken down. She told him no, that would make her uncomfortable, but she would gladly stop at the gas station and call the tow truck for him. He started to insist it was only a couple blocks and he was already very late for work. Now feeling very uncomfortable she said no again. He then got mad, really mad and yelled at her "I only wanted you to take me home! " She noped right out of there. Jumped in the car, backed up quickly, and rolled the window down just enough to say, "Don't worry I'll call a police officer to help at the gas station", and sped off. She did stop at the gas station, call the police, and returned to the park with the police officer. The guy and his truck were nowhere to be found. - MariposaWhite
When my cousin was a teenager (maybe 18 or 19) she and her friends went out to party a lot. In my country you can legally start drinking with 16/18, so most teenagers start going to clubs at 16. Back then, hitch hiking was still pretty common and most teenagers did it to get home or to the city, since only very few had cars of their own.
So my cousin and her friend want to go home after a night out and get picked up by a middle aged guy. He's nice enough and they make small talk, while they drive. Suddenly, he takes a turn onto a remote road leading into the woods. He locks the car from the inside and his friendly facade falls, instead he's suddenly tense, quiet and determined.
My cousin's friend started crying quietly, but my cousin stays calm and starts talking to the man. She tells him about her family, her mom and dad, her brother and sister and asks if he also has a family. When he tells her that he has a wife and two children, she asks for their names and how old they are, which school they go to, what their hobbies are, all while he drives them deeper into the woods.
Somehow, it worked:
It must've triggered something, because after talking with him for a couple of minutes, he stops he car and breaks down. He starts crying and tells them that things are going well at home, that his marriage is pretty bad and he fears he'll lose his kids. My cousin comforts him during his break down and lets him spill his heart out. Eventually, he starts the car again, turns around and drives them home, saying he's sorry.
They get out once they reach the street my cousin lived on and when he drives off, my cousin sees him put a knife on the passanger seat that he had kept hidden next to him. They never hitch hiked again. - SomeSugarAndSpice
My friend used to sleep with his window open. One day he woke up to a man staring at him from the window. He quickly ran away once he realized he had woken up. Never slept with the window open again. - Tihanos
“ There's no fear when you're having fun.”
– Will Thomas.
Despite all of the crazy stuff going on in the world right now, we still need time to relax and have some fun. These hilarious memes will distract you from all of your troubles in life at least for a few minutes. Have some laughs this morning, you deserve it!
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Whether they teach pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, high school, college or beyond--teachers are some of the most patient and understanding people out there. Teachers tolerate not only rebellious students, class clowns, and pranksters, they also nurture the next generation's intellect, self-confidence, social skills and talents. We might completely forget all about a roommate we lived with for multiple years but most of us will always remember everything about a teacher that really made an impact. Bonus points for drama teachers who quite literally deal with all the drama.
Now that people all over the world are forced to self-quarantine because of COVID-19, a lot of parents are spending more time with their children than ever. Homeschooling for even a few days is making moms and dads realize how difficult the job that teachers have is, and they deserve to be compensated fairly.
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Grandparents were not raised with computers, which is why their social media posts are the absolute best. Because they're not fluent in the internet's sarcasm, they cut through the snark with sincerity, and it's refreshingly hilarious.
A global health crisis might not be the ideal time to get a tattoo (especially a virus-related one) but every business is trying to make the most of a scary situation so here we are. Many people who love getting tattoos treat their bodies like a memory book so perhaps a COVID-19 tattoo could be a good way to memorialize the time you spent quarantine with your one-night stand and one roll of toilet paper.
Besides, do these people know tattoos are...forever? Or do they just get every major news event permanently inked on their bodies? T
his is a stressful time for everyone, so remember to be kind!
If you thought peanut butter and pickles were as weird as pregnancy cravings get, think again. There are some food combinations that someone with the best imagination couldn't come up with. But add pregnancy hormones into the mix and you get some really weird concoctions.
Warning: not for the faint-of-stomach.
The coronavirus pandemic is confusing time for adults, and it's even more bonkers for children. One day you're at school...and then school is in the kitchen?
Parents are sharing the adorable ways their children have come to understand social distancing, and kids are getting creative.
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Between the quarantine messing with our jobs, a stock market crash, and spending all our money on food delivery, these are tough times financially for a lot of people. But though cutting corners is recommended, some people will take things way too far when it comes to trying to conserve cash.
In the post, the mom writes that she's seeking a "trustworthy" babysitter for her 3 kids: a month old baby, a 1-year-old, and a 3-year-old. She explains that she would be willing to pay "$160 a week" for watching her kids 7 am to 6 pm during the week. This equates to under $3 an hour, which is a reasonable amount to pay your babysitter if she's 13 years old and it's 1994.
Maybe this mom is just really, really bad at math?! A commenter responded to her post, pointing out that $160 per week is a criminally low hourly wage. "Do you realize that you are paying 3.50 per hour?" they wrote (turns out it's even less!). "For three children? And dropped off and picked up?" The commenter then warned the mom to be "very careful" hiring someone for this little money as they "may put your kids in danger."
As Yukon_Kizmiaz did the math and figured out that this woman is offering $2.91 an hour, which is less than a doller per child per hour. I'd pay someone more to babysit my succulents.
Whomever replied got their math wrong. It's even less.
The CB wants to pay 160 dollars a week for 55 hours of work per week - 5 days at 11 hours a day.
160/55 = $2.91 an hour
This woman is trying to find child care at less than a dollar per child per hour. I assume the babysitter, in addition to picking up and dropping off the children and spending her own gas money and vehicle wear and tear, would also be responsible for feeding three kids for free as well. At the end of it, the babysitter would essentially be paying the CB to watch her kids.
To make things worse, the mom wants the babysitter to care for the kids in their own home—meaning they wouldn't even get free snacks and cable out of this bargain (and we all know free snacks and cable are the main perks of babysitting).
extrasassplease writes:
And top it off she wants them staying at the babysitter's home
Magiff writes:
I couldn’t even imagine doing this for $160 a day. This person is high on glue.
And PhenomenalPhoenix points out that this mom apparently cares more about the well-being of her stuff than her kids:
Right? She trusts her kids in the babysitter’s home but doesn’t trust the babysitter in her own home? She seems to be more worried about her belongings than about her children.
greffedufois made twice this much caring for an alzheimers patient:
What the hell, I made $300 a week caring for an alzheimers patient. She slept a lot but needed help getting to the toilet and with bathing, and I made her meals. And that's the low end of things.
When she passed her son sent me a sort of severance package of 2 months extra pay plus a Christmas bonus. That was a whole rent payment ($700)
I honestly can't imagine valuing your 'lights of your life' so little that you're willing to leave them with whoever answers this ad. Likely nobody who should be around children.
And EdenEvelyn cares for three kids and makes over five times as much as this mom is offering:
I’m a nanny who is currently caring for 3 boys aged 3, 4 and 8. When I have all 3 of them I make $20 an hour. Most days I work 8:30 to 5:00 and walk away with anywhere from $160 to $170. My job is hard and I wouldn’t take any less, so the idea that someone could be expected to work 55 hours and make the same I do in 8 is baffling.
How stupid do you have to be to even offer that?
lemonlady7, a professional nanny and doula, says she sees this kind of behavior "all the time":
As a professional nanny and doula, I can tell you that I see these kinds of listings and personally receive these sorts of offers all of the time. And they’re almost always aholes when I (politely) reject the offer. It makes my blood boil.
waltzingmatildas confirms that this kind of behavior is "common":
This was so common when I was a nanny. People want to pay you 2 or 5 dollars an hour to watch three kids all day.
As heartbreaking as it is that parents are unable to afford childcare, anyone who expects a stranger to care for their kids for less than half minimum wage is not only delusional, but potentially putting their kids at risk.
Choosing a name for your child is not an easy decision. Factor in a partner that needs to OK it too and it can take the whole 9+ months before a decision is made. Or you could be like this woman and just take charge yourself?
She writes:
My husband and I were expecting our first child, a girl. A few years ago, he lost his mom. Now, I loved his mom but she had a very “grandma” sounding name. Think Mildred or Ethel. My husband suggested we name our daughter that. I said while I got the sentimental value, i didn’t like it for our daughter’s name.
I suggested it as a middle name as a compromise and he said no, no, it should be her first name. I said no, names should have a two yes, one no rule. But I was more than happy to give her the name as a middle.
Conversations about names became a fight for months. He’d veto any name I picked: classic, modern, a nickname of his mom’s name but still not the full one. It wasn’t what he wanted.
I give birth and he’s there. All is calm and we’re thrilled. He says something about naming her after his mom again and I just don’t answer. Instead, later when asked, I said it was Lily (his mom’s name as a middle). He needed to sign off on it and got pissed when he saw what I did. I told him that I wouldn’t sign off on his mom’s name being the baby’s first name and that I gave him ample time to help me pick something else. He reluctantly signed it and does call her Lily.
However, he does still (6 months later), says I bullied him into naming our daughter something he didn’t want. I asked how it was an different than what he tried to do to me when I was freshly hormonal and had just given birth.
This may be a divisive topic, but I'm going with NTA. You had 9 months to decide on a name and he was being mule-headed and dug his heels in, when you gave him ample options, given what you have described. You tried to compromise, he pretty much refused to meet you in the middle, instead hoping to get his way when she was actually born.
My brother did the same thing. He picked a name for my nephew and refused all other suggestions from my sister-in-law. The baby had no name when he was born until she finally said f**k it and went with his name a week later.
Didn't think much of it at the time (I was only 16) but the more I thought about it over the years the more I realized my brother is an a**hole.
NTA. I wanted to say ESH, and I still do. The reason I'm going with NTA is because OP tried to give the husband a list of alternatives, while he only came into the discussion with a single name. Sure you can love a name, but if it gets vetoed many times you have to compromise with a new name or the middle name option. He put OP in a sh*tty situation, and I bet he was planning to do the same to her once the baby was born
NTA. You offered a lot of compromises and he vetoed anything that wasn’t his top choice. I would’ve voted differently if you hadn’t offered multiple compromises that still honored his mom (including a nickname for her name, which seems reasonable).
ESH but I am on your side. You gave birth and he wasn’t budging from his name choice. It was a matter of who got to the documentation first and it happened to be you. Would he have still put his mother’s name down if the roles were reversed? Yeah, probably. You won. And so did he, his mother’s name is still there as a tribute. My daughter has her own first name, but her middle name is a family name so sometimes my husband will affectionately call her “(first name) + (middle name).” Maybe if one of you says “Hey, there, Lily Ethel!” It might reduce the sting or normalize it a bit. Good luck, I hope this improves.
How the hell was OP the asshole here? She did everything she could to compromise so that they were both happy. It’s not her fault he had a “my way or the highway” attitude about it.
NTA for naming your daughter. He backed you into a corner to try and bully you and now he’s projecting his bullying on to you. You might be the a**hole for having a kid with this guy. Have fun raising a kid when the other parent is a child.
It’s always funny to read in posts like this how someone who tried to bully you for nine months will call you a bully for making a reasonable compromise. NTA
ESH, she is not only your daughter. You did the exact same thing as him, except you got your way
There were a lot more on team mom in this instance but it's still a tough one. Who do you side with on this one?
Whether you're working from home or still going out because your job requires it, we're all living through a highly tumultuous time historically.
However, people are getting creative! More downtime combined with anxiety due to a global health crisis has given some people an outlet to express themselves on social media. And since we're socially distancing, we could definitely all use a laugh.
If you're single, this probably isn't a good time to go on dates with strangers whose medical history is a mystery. Plus, with bars and restaurants closed throughout the city, people are finding more clever ways to attract their soulmate in quarantine...
Now that many schools and universities are moving their classes online to aid social distancing, students are experiencing a whole new way to go to school — and yes, that includes farting in class.
A recent Reddit thread asked students whose classes have moved online about the funniest things that have happened so far. Based on the hundreds of responses it received, high school and college students clearly haven't lost their sense of humor.
Had a seminar this afternoon. I joined the Zoom meeting to see my Oxbridge-educated, world-leading-expert professor lying horizontally in bed.
It’s a Master’s course and for some reason the image of him giving utterly zero fucks just killed me. - countrycider
My professor turned on closed captions and when he finally figured out what it was he was like “what type of communist Nintendo technology is this?” - gabriey
On our second online class, one of the kids didn't realize his mic wasn't muted, and proceeded to start talking to his cat (offscreen), who was apparently drinking out of the kid's water glass. It went something like this: "You damn obese cat, you just sit there on your ass and eat all day; you don't even do a damn thing for us." Before any of us could react, our teacher (a devout environmentalist and the most aggravating teacher I have ever had) started lecturing this kid for being cruel to his pets while we all just watched. Then she actually made this kid apologize to his cat, which took him a long time to do because he was laughing so hard. - Lunar_Wolf770
Someone ripped a massive fart while the teacher was talking and no one knew who did it - sentient_spagheti
My teachers dog (a small one) ran to him during the class. It would've been cute, but it get hilarious when his other dog (Great Dane) ran toward him too like it was jealous. It bumped him out of his chair and seemed to be licking him. - agenericgirlithink
Not even 2 minutes into first online live stream class, moaning noises start coming over the stream. Thinking its a joke, professor stops and asks whoever it is to stop. Noises keep coming, and suddenly they get really loud. Next thing we know, someones mom starts screaming and yelling at someone in the background, and sounds of crying are heard. Turns out someones brother was watching *ahem* adult films and accidentally hooked up to his speaker instead of his headphones, although still not sure how one can actually make that mistake without knowing it. Anyway, professor continued on with class trying not to laugh as we got to hear every word the mother told her other son from the other room. Best part was after the mom had finally calmed down and stopped yelling the kid whos mother it was got up and called from his doorway, "Mom, can u keep it down, I'm in the middle of online class rn". The mother came into the room 2 minutes later and apologized for the excess noise. BEST. LECTURE. EVER.
You can set a virtual background e.g. green screen - Set up me in class with kim jong-un beside me for the whole hour at the desk - Robindinho
I was attending my class and my roommate who was in the very corner of the camera didn't think he was visible on my camera and proceeded to take a really big hit from his bong when I was talking so my camera was blown up on everybody's screen. - dustin199o
One guy in my class wore a sombrero, so now everyone wears a sombrero - Kcorbyerd
Someone with their webcam off and mic muted type in the chat "May I please use the bathroom, Doc?" - CarrotFlowers-
Don't know if its funny but my math teacher decided that he wanted coffee, so instead of muting himself he started to boil water. It was the loudest thing I have ever heard through my headphones. It took him another 30 seconds to realize that he didn't mute himself and quickly did. - MaxusBork
A student joined in, didn't mute his microphone, and started making fun of the teachers name with a family member who was in the room. Didn't realise for a couple seconds before finally muting his microphone. Everybody heard him including the teacher. - microbazinga
I had an online meeting with my department about online exams and how they're implemented. One of the senior staff members cut off every once in a while for 5 seconds. Once it happened in the middle of a sentence where he was describing the procedure if a student disconnected during an assessed skype meeting. He went "and in case one of the students cuts off..." and his video feed went black and sound cut off. Beautiful. - Geronimou
Professor was at his home, and suddenly his wife came, asking when does his goddamn lecture end. He surprised [us], saying it would end soon. - Ampluvia
Someone’s mum came into my classmates room and told her that she is disappointed and disgusted that she clogged the toilet - PeeLITunder
One of the lecturers recorded a powerpoint with voiceover unaware that his webcam was also capturing video. He shared the audio, the presentation and a one hour closeup of subtile movements of his crotch to all his students. The powerpoint presentation didn't excite him much. - trinityxxiv
If anyone has used blackboard for online lectures, you'll know you can click a button to "Raise" your hand and a little icon will pop up next to your name. Since discovering this, everyone on my course has taken to "Waving" bye to each other all at the end of a lecture by repeatedly raising and lowering our hands. It's not much but it's hilarious to see a bunch of notifications pop up at the end of a lecture. - tidus9000
My professor had allowed her daughter to use his device before starting the video chat. We were silent for a moment until we heard the My Little Pony song playing in full volume. My professor was moved into instant shock and anxiety. - DrPorterMk
My lit teacher’s 8 year old son participated in our literary discussion about Paul Auster’s City of Glass, interspersed with comments about how “dad looks like and smells like my art teacher”. He also said his interpretations of the novel were better than ours, “no offense”. - CortisolFactories
My English teacher is pretty chill... and owns tiktok. He said “let’s take a dance break” and proceeded to try and do the Renegade. It was a beautiful moment in history, and I want to post it but I can’t 👀 - xXDeathByFriskyXx
The teacher got bored and gave us the answers. - Book-Lover_2000
We've all got at least one thing we splurge on that other people might find stupid or wasteful. The question is: is it anyone else's business?
One guy is in the doghouse after he took it upon himself to throw out his girlfriend's pricey shampoo and replace it with cheap drugstore stuff. Now he's asking the people of the internet: is he the a-hole or is she?
My (27M) girlfriend (25F) is really into what she calls “self-care.” We don’t live together but I spend the night at her place and have to shower there before work a lot. Whenever I shower there she asks me not to use her shampoo and conditioner and to use the other ones in the shower.
I thought this was weird and asked her why the other day. She told me she buys custom shampoo! I looked it up and it costs $32 to order!! I think that is such a waste of money and told her that. I’ve used the stuff and it isn’t any different from any other shampoo. I feel like she’s being scammed and is just wasting her money on vanity.
She doesn’t agree and I wanted to help her see what I mean. I bought shampoo and conditioner the same color from the brand my mom uses (I think it’s called VO5) and replaced the stuff in her bottles.
After she showered the other day, I told her how nice her hair looked. She responded “that’s why I use my custom shampoo.” So she proved my point! I told her what I did and she freaked out just because I threw her stuff away and helped her save money. She told me to leave and got really upset and said I made her feel dumb. Now she texted me that she has to reconsider if I’m emotionally mature enough for her.
She’s being crazy but am I an a**hole? What does shampoo have to do with emotional maturity? [...] the bottles were already almost empty so i didn't even throw that much away
Warm-Mongoose really took him to the cleaners:
You sound like the kind of guy that uses 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner and body wash.
“What does shampoo have to do with emotional maturity?” It’s not about the shampoo. You were so desperate to prove that she was being ‘dumb’ that you poured out and wasted the shampoo and conditioner, directly undermining your own point. Are you 5 years old? What could you possibly have to gain by doing this? You destroyed something that your girlfriend enjoyed and spent her own money on just to feel superior.
Not to mention, a lot of people drop big bucks on shampoo and conditioner:
Also, $32 is not that much for shampoo and conditioner, that’s $16 for each one, there’s way pricier stuff on the market. She could have a very good reason for not using cheap shampoo. Textured hair, colored hair, chemically treated hair or certain medical conditions all require different treatments and some products could actually ruin her hair if that’s the case. All she asked you to do was not use it when you showered and you couldn’t even do that. You obviously don’t respect your girlfriend. Taking care of yourself like an adult isn’t being “vain.”
And V05, seriously? I wouldn’t use that crap on my dog.
The-beast5641 defended the honor of expensive shampoo users:
You want to talk about wasting money? Then you pour shampoo and conditioner out? Good one.
Also, her not noticing a difference after using it once doesn’t “prove your point,” which shows that you know even less about self care than I initially thought you did.
It’s about the long term effects of using quality products over cheap products. Long term, it’ll dry out your hair or skin, or take any dyed color away, and eventually make her hair more fragile as well.
Let people use and enjoy the things they want, and leave her be.
Cricketmai pointed out that even if the shampoo was a scam, it was her scam and it made her happy (but FYI, expensive shampoo is not a scam):
how she spends her money is her business, as well as how she takes care of herself. also, YOU wasted her money by throwing her products away. you seem very controlling and she’s right to wonder if you’re mature enough for her.
[Also,] calling her crazy is not a good look. you don’t respect your girlfriend, why are you with her?
And supagirl277 pointed out that it takes time for the effects of bad shampoo to creep up:
You also can’t tell the difference of a new shampoo after only one wash, and he probably didn’t even have a reason to tell her her hair looked nice other than to try to prove the cheaper one was better. That is a super nice priced shampoo. Like, it’s also only shampoo. It’s not like she soends hundreds a month on vanity stuff.
Kalkiki pointed out the elephant in the room: everyone deserves better than VO5.
I would lose my absolute shit if somebody replaced my shampoo with VO5. Do you have any idea how bad that crap is for your hair?? Moreover it’s her money and her self care. She can do as she pleases.
He realized the error of his ways when he saw the kinds of guys who applauded him for what he did:
I've gotten messages from incel type dudes supporting me and telling me I did the right thing. They used vulgar, gross and demeaning language to talk about my girlfriend. If that's the kind of person my actions are resonating with, I am more than willing to accept that I was a major a**hole and owe my girlfriend a humongous apology. That really showed me how stubborn I was being over such a petty thing and it should not have come to this point. I didn't consider the deeper implications and the way she would feel, you guys really helped me understand the magnitude of what I did. I'm embarrassed and I'm sorry. Thank you for your insightful and mostly kindhearted responses.
"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature."
-Dave Barry
You don't have to always act all grown up and mature. Sometimes you can be goofy, laugh, and cut loose. These memes will definitely help you start your day off with a big laugh. Remember, it's ok to be silly.
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This is the new normal. A lot of us are working from home, not wearing pants, and desperately trying to focus despite all of the distractions. If you're working from home right now, these memes will be crazy-relatable. Go ahead and laugh as loud as you want, your boss can't hear you now.
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Most restaurants and bars across the United States and around the world have been forced to temporarily close unless they're able to provide takeout and delivery, leaving countless people without a paycheck. Because the service industry relies on tips from customers, employees don't receive any benefits such as paid time off, healthcare or sick leave. Many restaurants don't have a buffer of savings (even without paying their employees while they're closed) to stay open if the shutdown lasts over a month. However, social distancing is critically important right now and if the weekend before St. Patrick's Day showed us anything it's that if bars are open--people will still come.
Luckily, some members of the service industry (fellow bartender here!) are using this time to get creative. Many restaurants in New York City are offering to-go and delivery craft cocktails, wine, and beer and some out-of-work bartenders are bartering pre-batched drinks of their special recipes to their regulars.
