Based on shows like "Gossip Girl," you might think pricey private schools are an insular playground for the rich where everything — including grades — has a price tag.

Well, according to a Reddit thread about private schools, you might not be wrong. The thread asks, "Private school kids, what is the worst thing that happens at your schools?" Here are some of the best responses.

(Keep in mind these people don't speak for all private school kids — these situations are on the extreme end. Some people love their private school experience.)

1. At a religious private school, you can take in some pretty wild messaging.

We were all told, very clearly, that if we ever had feelings of liking someone of the same sex, we would burn in hell. The only way to escape severe eternal torment was to get married and have babies as fast as possible. So I got married and had 4 kids in 10 years and I was miserable. Obviously, that marriage failed. - ClosetPsycopath

2. Sometimes at private school, things can be pretty xenophobic.

The blatant racism was ridiculous. I was literally taught that people of color were different than me and I should avoid them at all costs. When I joined the military a year after graduating, I realized pretty quickly that everything the school taught me was wrong. People of color are wonderful, intelligent, and have great cultures that I can learn from and enjoy. - ClosetPsychopath

3. Being the poor kid in private school? Not fun times.

My dad works crazy hours to be able to send me to private school, but we were dirt poor. So I was the poor kid amongst all the rich brats, and I was bullied by my classmates, but also some teachers. - ClosetPsychopath

4. Maybe we should've left schools that are separated by gender in the last century...

All girls private schools lead to girls putting such a high significance on sex, oversexualize boys, lead to toxic masculinity and make girls think of other girls as competition. If we had more exposure (healthy exposure) to boys growing up, we wouldn't have been throwing ourselves at boys every weekend. The conversations I had at 14 with girls from that school would make my male friends in the mid twenties blush. - usernameeightandahalf

5. What's worst: entitled kids or entitled parents?

These seniors at my school stole a test and were forbid[den] from graduating. Their entitled parents took the case to court and actually won over the school due to psychological damage or something. - mcdonaldswifi141

6. Sounds... normal!

A nun punched a student for being dizzy during morning praise - holygoddessofvictory

7. Must be nice to buy grades.

I used to be in a private school. I'm not filthy rich. But the people that were would pay the school thousands of dollars to bring their failing student up to straight A's - yrahcaz96

8. A budding entrepreneur!

Some guy in my grade once tried to sell an entire block of cocaine. This figure was probably exaggerated, but judging from the numerous social media clips of him doing a copious amount of drugs and the fact that we're all loaded (except the scholarship kids) I would still say that he had a significant amount on hand. - Dojmopo

9. Staff members seem to get away with more in private schools.

In our private school system no one really got fired as much as they got asked to not return. So one head master got fired from their school for embezzeling but we just hired him right into our school. Weird that we ran out of money though right after. - DigitalDynamo

10. They're paying for the "right" to be a-holes.

Severe bullying that was enabled by the faculty and staff. When my parents went to the principal about it, her response was "The parents pay a lot of money to send their kids here. We don't want to bother them." - verongy

11. Wow, they just came right out and said it?

[They] told me I couldn’t start a human rights club because it included the LGBT community - LadyyLilith

12. Corporal punishment is apparently alive and well in some schools.

In my catholic school we had a teacher that was a lawsuit waiting to happen. She had no issue threatening students or actually rapping them in the head with a ruler. I distinctly remember a day in 4th grade when my classmate James was shooting hornets across the room. One landed in her hair and she turned around from the chalkboard and was at his desk in a second. She grabbed the sides of his desk (the kind that is connected to the chair) and shoved him so hard his desk flew backwards across the room until he hit the wall. - EleganceElephants

13. The xenophobia is strong.

Bible teacher quit 15min before school started one morning bc he found out they let a Mormon kid into the school - teenagepeterpan

14. Sometimes the curriculum in a religious school can be a little loose.

“I believe in the Big Bang theory. God said ‘happen’ and BANG!!!!! It happened” -my 8th grade physics teacher - teenagepeterpan

15. Being around all those rich kids can be tough.

My parents sacrificed to send me and my brothers to a private school years ago. Worst part in my experience was basically being one of the few relatively poor kids at the school. A lot of these kids lived in huge houses, had tons of nice clothes and "vacationed" during the summer. My summers were spent at home getting into fights with my brothers while my parents were at work. - 90sTrapperKeeper

16. Sometimes, uniform dressing can make girls' body image worse.

i came to school with the uniform everyone else wore, a skirt past the knees and a tucked in polo shirt. i got dirty looks from teachers all day, it made me feel super uncomfortable, so i started wearing black leggings underneath and hoodies so you could basically see nothing but hands and face. they didn't bother me after that. that was just skirts though. one day i thought, 'hey, if they hate skirts so much, why don't i wear some pants?'

so i wore exactly what was in dress code, long beige pants with a belt and a polo,(belt was required? for some reason?). i came and immediately got sent to the office, apparently my two-sizes-too-big-pants were actually way to tight for their school. so the principal brought out what was basically a garbage bag for each leg, it hung off of me so much it could've been a parachute. never wore pants again. left that school with severe body issues, only a year later got the courage to show legs and arms again (°_°) - kosailyn

People who believe in ghosts tend to think that the most haunted places are the places where lots of people have passed away — and that could very well include hospitals.

A recent Reddit thread asked nurses and doctors about the seemingly paranormal things they've seen at work that can't be explained. The answers prove medical workers have seen their fair share of odd occurrences.

1. One nurse saw a woman fight her way back to life after flatlining.

There is probably some medical explanation for this, but still the weirdest thing I’ve seen as a nurse so far. We had a very robust, confused old lady on our floor. Her room was in front of the nurse’s station so we could keep an eye on her, and had one of our nurses aids as a sitter too. She was always fighting, kicking, trying to get out of bed. Very restless and agitated, as some patients I’ve had before can get before death.

One day we were called into the room as her heart rate was going down and she lay still with her eyes open. It was 30...20...then flat lined. We checked for a pulse and did not find any. She was a DNR so we did not attempt resuscitation. We close her eyes, prepare to get the body bag and call the family, the sitter remains in there to start getting the body ready. Less than 10 minuets later she calls us back in. The old lady is at it again, hitting, kicking, trying to get out of the bed. She came back to life! Honestly we found the situation hilarious, and I still have never seen any patient come back like that on their own. I think she made it out of the hospital too. - cheeezuscrust

2. You have to love a woman who haunts her abuser immediately after dying.

Did a rotation in a burn unit. There are tons of stories that go around, but I’ll share my favorite. A pimp lit one of his prostitutes on fire, and she immediately bear hugged him causing them to both suffer pretty severe injuries (unfortunately hers included an inhalation burn). They both were being treated in the same icu but on opposite ends.

Weeks later she ends up coding and passes away, and about 30 minutes later as things start to quiet down, the guy starts screaming from his room “get her out! Get the god damn b**** out of my room!” - MyDogOper8sBetrThanU

3. Most hospitals have to be haunted...

I worked in a pediatric hospital and had always heard that the fourth floor right outside our oncology unit was haunted. [... On my break,] I walked through the automatic double doors and saw a kid skipping down the hall. I called out to him as I was afraid a little kid had snuck out of a patient room. As soon as I called out to him he turned and in the blink of an eye totally vanished. A lot of other nurses and docs had seen the same little kid skipping in that same hallway. Of course I chalked it up to just exhaustion and didn’t really think about it much after that. But you are damn sure I didn’t use that hallway at night ever again. - agf0605

4. It seems some people stick around the hospital for a few minutes after death.

I was working at night and one of the patients died while I was in the room, we tried everything to revive this person but it didn't work so after doing the papers and everything I went to another place in the hospital and I swear to god that this patient who I saw dead, touch[ed] my right arm. I think that I have never cried that much in my life. - GalaGalaxy_

5. Don't medical workers have enough to worry about without every hospital being haunted?!

I remember one time after someone had died I was cleaning up her body and the door to the room swung wide open even though it had been firmly latched nobody was there. It gave me the creeps

There were instances of furniture being moved, lights turning on and off by themselves, and toilets randomly flushing by themselves as well. I also remember I had one resident one night who asked me to make sure I closed the door to the closet that was at the end of her bed- and she told me that when it was open “that woman” kept going in and out of it all night and it kept her awake. - eternalrefuge89

6. Maybe psychics are real after all...

A ward I worked on once had a patient who was a psychic/medium as a patient. We had a bit of a laugh with her as she was on the ward for a while (she'd had a stroke which affected her mobility) and she would do 'readings' for the staff etc from time to time. I took it all as just a bit of fun until one evening when she pressed her nurse call buzzer and told us to go check on a patient in a side room as he was dead. We went to check and sure enough found that the gentleman had died. Later on we asked our psychic patient how she had known and she told us she had seen him coming out if his room obviously distressed. She realised he had died and had to explain to him what had happened and help him to pass over/go to the light....now I am not a believer but that gave me the creeps. - smackmacks

7. Who could've guessed the grim reaper is actually a little girl?

I’ve worked in a small family run nursing home for 6 years as a nurse aide . It was a orphanage before it became a nursing home . It’s not gossip the owner herself has told us . When residents get close to death they see a little girl . One of my patients a very alert 102 , he knew all our names and was very alert and oriented . He had his back turned to us and was talking and laughing in the corner I knocked and asked him who he was talking to & he chucked and said “ this little girl came into my room , she was scared “ he died 3 days later .

About 6 months later had a sub acute patient screaming about a little girl grabbing his feet and she needed to leave him alone . He died that night . She’s come up over the years it’s always the same thing they see her and then they die . Other coworkers have had the same experience. It’s very unsettling. - Pyper151

8. You can always count on Lulu.

Back when I was a paramedic in Oakland I was taking care of an elderly gentleman in the back of my ambulance he looked up into the upper corner of the ambulance and said it's okay Lulu I'll be with you soon. His daughter was with him and told me that Lulu was his wife who died 20 years earlier. A few minutes later he went into cardiac arrest and passed on. - HenryRN

9. Imagine, as a ghost, having to wear a hospital gown for all eternity...

One of the rooms we have is obviously having something of a haunting. A man in a gown gestured one of the techs to come in, she went in and he was gone. One week earlier a female pt was asking to get a different room, because a man wouldn’t leave her room. We just thought it was some sort of delirium. Multiple others have seen him too. - SavageAmallya

10. Don't mess with Mamie Eisenhower.

I used to work at the old Walter Reed Army Medical Center. In the old one that moved back in 2011, there was a VIP ward, I believe it was ward 72. Any retired General Officers would be stay there, along with any Higher ups in the Govt, think Secretary of State and other Cabinet Officials. There was also a room for the First Lady and President. This ward is private, locked at all entrances and very nice. It is furnished with very high end furniture and a lot of it was donated by Mrs. Mamie Eisenhower, the wife of President Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Well, per my friend who worked there, the ghost of Mamie Eisenhower is very particular about any one staying in her room, and if anyone did sleep in that room, she would yank off the bedsheets. My friends also said decorative pieces would randomly fall off table of fly off the walls when they were the only ones up there. Mamie would also apparently page the supervisor, who would call the ward back to a very confused nurse as to who paged them. - Jcc7089

11. Hmmm, not a doctor but maybe people keep dying on your watch because you think sprinkling holy water will help?

We've actually had a room sprinkled with holy water several times by our pastoral care due to the amount of deaths we've had in the same room. - BigJRitch

12. Margaret wasn't going anywhere.

I worked as a Medtech at an assisted living facility. One day a resident (I’ll call her Margaret) suddenly passed away and her family left all her belongings in the room that night including her pendant to call the staff for help. The next night Margaret’s neighbor called the staff because someone was talking in the room next door and keeping them awake. We brushed the resident off knowing that Margaret’s room was empty. About an hour later Margaret’s pendant started going off from her empty apartment.

I was the only one willing to go turn it off so I walked into the room and it was FREEZING COLD in the middle of summer (the air conditioning was off.) Suddenly the bathroom door slammed as I was turning off the pendant light. I locked the door and ran back to the nurses station. We forced one of the older male staff members to go check out the entire room and he claims the door was still locked when he got down there and no one was in there. - KaylaC-J

13. "Hey," this room's haunted.

When I was a nursing student up on an ICU floor I was hanging antibiotics in my patient’s room when I heard an audible “Hey”. I turn around and there is no one else in the room. Mind you, my patient was intubated and sedated so there’s no possible way it was them. It was a woman’s voice as well so I thought it was my preceptor. I go back out to the nurses station and I asked my preceptor if that was her in the room trying to catch my attention.

She told me no and and I’ve never seen someone’s eyes get so big. Apparently the room I was in has had the most paranormal sitings and activity out of all the rooms on the unit. Sitings as in shadows sitting in the corner of the room, voices being heard and curtains being flung violently across the railings. No one ever told me about this room prior to my preceptorship so it just added to everyone’s beliefs it was haunted af. - HELLAclogged

14. Where the hell is the bed?!?!

One day a patient had to go to the X-ray which he was taken to in a wheelchair. About 5 minutes later the notification from the patients room went off and me and my favourite work buddy went to the room. As we stepped in we saw that the room was empty and the windows were closed. Even the bed was missing in which the patient did not go to the X-ray. We both told a fully examined nurse and even she had no idea where the bed went. At the end we had to fill the room with another bed.

I`m still a nursing student but this was the most paranormal thing I witnessed so far - DumbleTheDoor

15. Maybe the cadaver was getting comfortable.

RN here. I was cleaning up a dead body at work when the head of the hospital bed started moving up on it’s own.

I was alone and I’m not fat enough for my belly to be hitting the buttons (which I’ve seen happen), so I’m still not sure what caused it to happen. It was weird, but not scary. - amathus4321

16. Maybe we can chalk this one up to crappy wiring.

I‘m a Labor and Delivery/Nursery nurse, mostly it’s call lights alarming from rooms that are completely empty. Sometimes it would coincide with apx the time of death on another unit, or be the anniversary of a fetal demise. However my creepiest... we have a button to push after a delivery to play a lullaby over the PA system announcing a birth through the hospital. One night no one was even in the same room as the button and the lullaby started playing. It did that twice then we unplugged the entire thing. It still went off once more that night, and again a few days later despite being entirely disconnected. That was a few years ago and no one ever heard it do that before or since. - DrunkOnSushi

17. She saw something no one else did.

My co-worker radioed me about a noise complaint. I look at the clock. It’s the witching hour. Someone is probably sundowning. I’ll get them to bed.

I get in the elevator and head to the fourth floor. As I approach the second floor I hear the banging and screeching. Fourth floor. Door opens up. A 70 lb 100 year old woman is just making the most ear piercing banshee wailing sounds and thrashing her walker around.

I very gently start guiding and re-directing her back to her apartment. The entire time she is just flailing and howling.

Halfway down the hallway... she suddenly goes quiet. She turns around and lifts a shaking bony finger at me.

“There is a man behind you”

Then I shit my pants and essentially carry her back to her room as she resumes her flailing and screeching. I take her to the bathroom. Clean her up. Get her to bed. All super fast.

- TheRealDannySugar

18. At least this was a friendly ghost.

My mom used to work as a night nurse in the burn unit at a hospital in Dallas, TX. She told me that people would always talk about how the burn unit was apparently haunted. She wasn’t really sure whether or not to believe this until a little girl came into the unit with horrific burns. The little girl did not always have parents stay the night with her, so my mom would try to check up on her pretty often when she worked. One night, my mom asked the girl if she ever got scared at night.

The little girl responded, “No. I don’t get scared because an old woman comes to read to me every single night and sits beside my bed while i fall asleep.” This shocked my mom because there were no older women working in the burn unit at night and she would usually be the only person on duty during those times. It isn’t that scary, but she always recalls it being one of the craziest things that has ever happened as a healthcare worker. - bratterpillar

19. Oh noooo!

This story is more about my mom she’s a nurse. She was walking through her nursing home and acting like it was a normal day. But it wasn’t, people were looking at her really weirdly. After a couple hours someone asked her what happened to her child? She asked what they were talking about. They said that everyone has been seeing a bloody boy walking beside her all day. Then she looked behind her and no one was there. Then all day after that people kept asking what happened to her child. When she got home she looked up every incident at her nursing home. She found something about a murder but I don’t remember the whole story. - Marshmallow88888

20. This little boy predicted his baby sister's existence.

We had a little boy come by ambulance and was a toddler. His parents had put him to bed and he was with a cold. Nothing serious but developed tragically into more and he started coming in and out of conciousness. We had to do a rapid intubation and he ended up passing away a few days later. Before Mom & Dad made it to hospital he kept talking about his baby sister Hannah. Not soon after we had to life saving measures. I was distraught because I had a son similar in age and a daughter named Hannah.

Fast forward. Approximately two years later, family comes in with sick infant. They remembered me (I did once I recalled their story) and I was their provider again. Their daughter's name was Hanna. It startled me and I recalled with clarity the boy speaking of his sister, whom I assumed was alive and at home. Nope, she wasn't even conceived yet.

Baby, thankfully, went home with parents and doing well but I'll never forget that. Little boy and his baby sister, Hannah. - rkelrn

21. Had to save the creepiest for last...

I'm a psychiatric nurse; early in my career, I worked at a residential mental health facility. There was a resident I'll call Marion Duchene. He was an elective mute, which simply means that he didn't/wouldn't/couldn't talk but there were no pathological findings as to why. He had spoken earlier in his life and in fact seemed quite normal back then, with the notable exception of being close to seven feet tall. He'd been raised in the Deep South and joined the military when he was nineteen. After boot camp, he was stationed somewhere in the south. One night, he just vanished. It was declared an AWOL for years, and finally he was declared missing and dead.

Ten years later, a seven-foot tall man walked into a VA Hospital emergency room in my part of the midwest and said to the receptionist: "My name is Marion Duchene and I've been dead for ten years."

Those were the last words he ever spoke.

He was covered with dust and he was wearing the same clothes he'd been reported to be wearing the night he vanished. His social security number had not been used and he had no identification on his person. However, they were able to identify him, I guess via fingerprints.

He was well-fed and in good health, except for his refusal to speak. The family was notified but they said they had already grieved their lost man and that whomever was claiming to be him simply could not be. They said he was a "haint" and a stand-in for their dead relative and demanded not to be contacted again.

Marion paced all day every day. Not in a frantic way, but just lumbering up and down the halls and outside. He smiled all the time and would be moving his mouth in a way that indicated talking or muttering, but he was dead silent. He had an unnerving habit of throwing his head back with his mouth wide open as if he were laughing heartily but not even a breath could be heard.

If told to go to the dining room for a meal, he'd go and eat. But if nobody told him, he just kept pacing, never indicating hunger. If offered a cigarette, he'd smoke it in an oddly formal way, almost delicately, if that makes sense. But he never seemed to crave smoking. The man wanted nothing. If I talked to him, he appeared to listen, periodically throwing his head back in that laughter-mimicking way of his.

There was nothing to do for this man. Various medications were tried, but they did not affect him either positively or negatively. Occupational therapy did nothing because Marion would just grin and unless told to stay put, he'd get up and start pacing again.

On my last day at that job, on my way to something better, the last thing I saw was Marion, pacing in the parking lot, throwing his head back to "laugh." Later I wondered if all along I'd been dealing with a ghost. All these years later, I still don't know. - jalcott

Laughter is the best medicine and you don't even have to provide a copay. These memes will lift your spirits and help you start your day off on the right foot.

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Every day is a massive learning opportunity when you're a kid. The whole huge world is a mystery full of question marks, and many children are eager to craft their own answers, however divorced from reality they may be.

As adults it can be fun to look back on all our imaginative theories and see which ones held the most water, and which most resembled an acid trip revelation.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the weirdest and "dumbest" things they believed as kids, and it further proves that children have the most interesting brains.

1. From prostfalfaietricou:

I used to believe that cats are girls and dogs are boys.

2. From szen_:

I thought navy seals were actual seals.. like trained ones that they used for missions. I was always confused though because seals didn’t seem like they’d be very good at that kind of stuff.

3. From DatGuyatLarge:

When I was a boy I was outside and not dressed for the cold, my Mother said “Come inside or you’ll catch pneumonia!” But I thought she said “Come inside or pneumonia will catch you” and a swirl of leaves came up the driveway towards me. For years I thought pneumonia was some creature that looked like a swirl of leaves that would attack you.

4. From avery730:

My mom used to tell me and my siblings that the car wouldn’t start until everyone had their seat belts buckled. I believed that until I was 9 or 10.

5. From Chicken_Pete_Pie:

That the factories that had smoke stacks with white smoke coming from them were clouds. I f*cking thought that clouds came from factories!

6. From IMMAKAHOOTYOU:

That tiny cops lived in traffic lights and they directed traffic.

7. From UncleGIJoe:

Lightning could see you and choose to strike you.

8. From Ekaj__:

When I was like 4 or 5, I thought English was just the normal language, I guess since it was the only one that I could understand. At one point, I got into a fight with my mom over the fact that it just had to be normal language and definitely couldn’t be something called English. The fight ended with me crying and running away.

9. From ZimaBlue-Ex:

Not me, but a friend of mine as a kid believed that eventually he had to choose and settle on a radio station for the rest of his life. He told me he would lie in bed and contemplate for hours in despair on which radio station to choose once he would turn 18. It was hilarious.

10. From FlacidTeeth:

That the world revolved around me and everyone else was a side character. I use to believe that whenever I would leave a room everyone would "deactivate."

11. From AngelMates:

I used to believe that teachers lived in the school.

12. From AndreWalnut:

My friend told me when he pooped blood came out as well and said he was on his period. I believed him.

13. From chaikhahai:

That if you mix milk and pencil sharpings, it would turn into eraser.

14. From Transitionals:

That only my mom’s side of the family were my “real” relatives, because that’s where I came from.

15. From HSingh95:

My older cousins once told me that Ketchup was made of blood and it made me afraid of it for years, so much so that the same cousins then tried convincing me it wasn't made of blood. One of them offered me $20 to eat a pea sized drop of it. But I didn't take the bait.

I'm on to you, vampires.

16. From jeffyapples75:

That Kentucky was a town in Ohio.

17. From PubScrubRedemption:

There was a period where I thought I chewed and swallowed extremely loudly cause I assumed people could hear it at the same volume as I could, but couldn't hear the same from others, so I would try to chew my food very slowly and gently. Hadn't figured out that's just what sounds coming from inside your head were like.

18. From Surprise_Corgi:

If you don't let the microwave finish beeping after it's counted to zero, it hasn't released all the radiation inside yet and it'll spray it everywhere when opened.

Thanks, Dad.

19. From Ihateredditnames1:

So basically in Portugal there was an ad for a shampoo where basically the guy that used it got surrounded by girls which were all attracted to him. I asked my mom to buy it she did. The next day after using it I got so confused I was thinking" why didn't that work "

20. From LodenH16:

As a kid growing up in the US, I thought Big Ben was the big red bus, not the clock tower. Every picture I had seen had that big red bus in the foreground. So I assumed Big Ben was the name of the bus, and the clock tower was just a convenient, British looking setting for a photo. Young me was shocked when I learned Big Ben was not a cool red bus, but instead just some boring old clock.

21. From Mediocre_Pil0t:

My dad told me that your belly button was a knot that was tied after cutting the umbilical cord. I f*cking believed that until my first was born; I asked the OB when they were going to take off the clamp and tie the knot, he looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world. I was 29.

22. From JaredxSimpson:

Gum staying in my stomach for 7 years. So of course i swallowed as much as i could to stock up.

23. From Tellthat2Kenjiclub:

I believed there was a number called "spive". My Dad told me it meant -250. I argued with kids in school about it to show how smart I was. So yeah that.

24. From schnoukipotato:

People hired suicidal people to make them die in the movie.

25. From ExtraPopcorn:

That human babies didn't have legs when they were born, and had to grow them, just like frogs. I was a little stupid. Just a TAD bit.

26. From GuppieGottaGo:

I believed that my grandma's name was actually Abuela, which was what I called her. When I found out she had an actual name, I insisted that she was lying to me.

27. From Randomusername12545:

As a kid, I was afraid of showers because i thought you could drown in them.

I didn't know what the plug did.

28. From tootbrun:

Left boob: regular milk.

Right boob: chocolate milk.

29. From biggiefoots1:

That you could not open the fridge while getting water because the inside fills up and drains through the hole that the water come from.

30. From MtmJM:

Sex was when a mom and dad looked at each other in their underwear.

Sure, every pop song loves to mention "trashing hotel rooms," but it's a much better idea to just be respectful.

If you seriously destroy a hotel room, you're looking at expensive fines. Plus, you'll have to live the rest of your life knowing that a group of people deeply hate you and think you're disgusting. Do you want to be the hotel guest that a cleaning staff employee talks about over drinks with their friends? Probably not.

Don't ruin the sheets, break bottles, spill food and drinks everywhere and not clean it up, but that all seems fairly forgivable compared to some of people. If you ask anyone who has ever worked in a hotel, they've seen some truly gross sides of humanity. So, when a reddit user asked, "Hotel workers, what is the worst thing you have found in a room after a guests stay?" hotel employees were ready to spill their secrets...

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A bear.

First, you gotta understand that a lot needs to happen for this to occur.

Our lowest floor, was still about a meter and a half from the ground, and each outside room had a balcony rail.

However, a guest had decided to want to unload his motorcycle from his truck and leave the ramp down, so (I’m assuming) he could ride the bike up when he was done.

The guest that was staying in the room had room service, decided to leave the food uncovered and the balcony doors open, and later went to the hotel pool/spa to relax.

Upon returning, they had gone to us at reception and said that there was a bear in the room.

Puzzled, we quietly approached the room and slowly opened the door. Lo and behold, there was a bear eating room service and making a mess of my afternoon.

We called Parks Canada to deal with it.

Guest was not charged a cleaning fee. - little_asian_man_89

2.

It was a family retreat/kids birthday party. The adults were getting shitfaced while the kids were in the presidential suite raising hell. They had decided to have a fully stocked ice cream bar and allowed the kids to do what they wanted with it. M&Ms crushed into the carpet, chocolate footprints on the walls, whipped cream f*cking everywhere. Fruit punch spilled on the bed. In total we had to charge them about $7k in damages, which they took to court, because they thought "The Cleanup would be included, that's why we did it at a hotel!"

They also smashed glass all over our dog hiking trail, which I had to clean up. - TheWastelandWizard

3.

A bachelorette party came through and after they left the next night we had a new rule that charges a $400 glitter fee. But I mean you couldn't see the floor so much glitter. It's been a few years and you can probably still find glitter in the carpet throughout the hotel. -jordan_mcafee

4.

Three guys in one room left ALL of their windows open and lights on overnight in the summer. I have never seen so many different types of bug flying around the room, it was terrifying. We ran in spraying bug killer like our lives depended on it, then ran out and left the room for an hour. We can back to a floor that was almost black with dead bugs. I can still hear the crunching. -scarlett_pimpernel

5.

I worked at a hotel a few years ago, front desk. I checked out a nice couple in the morning, they were very friendly, said they enjoyed their stay. Then housekeeping got to their room, the poor woman looked shell-shocked. I got to go through the room with a camera and my supervisor to document the state of the room. 2 large, black, double headed dildoes, lots of ziploc baggies with powdery residue, syringes (some used, some still with caps on them, including 2 in the toilet), and more travel sized bottles of baby oil than I could count. We also found what appeared to be feces and blood smeared all over the bedding and walls and a small digital camera. Police were called, descriptions of them taken, and all their information they had used to check in. I quit soon after, so I don't know if they ever found them or pressed charges. -brianpage101

6.

Pizza. And not just like leftovers. An entire pizza. And not a single slice of it in the box.

The first red flag we found was the slice of pizza smeared all over on the TV. Then we saw two slices side by side like they had worn them for slippers and dragged their feet across the floor. One slice in the dresser, one in the nightstand, one in the sheets, and one in the bathroom sink.

We cleaned the room as normal and put all the pizza in the box. The whole time I'm wondering why someone would do this, was the pizza not good? Was one slice enough and you had to buy the whole thing? I'm doing the final checks in the room and it still smells like pizza. I flick the lamp on and look for the final slice. I finally find it, shadowed in the lamp shade. This individual had smeared the last slice on the inside of the lamp shade.

That was the final piece of the puzzle (or pizzazule).

This person bought an entire pizza just to hide it in his hotel room. - aNathan113

7.

It was a hallway. I worked the front desk. A little league baseball team was staying the night and a guest complained to my manager about bats flying around.

My manager assumed the baseball team was just being roudy and headed up to tell them to calm down.

Turns out it wasn't baseball bats... Just a normal ol' flying bat hanging out in the hallway. -drewswaycool

8.

A syringe under a mattress, AFTER I felt a prick on the end of my finger. I was tucking in a sheet under the bed, and there were actually two uncovered "insulin" needles under there.

I got rushed to hospital; hepatitis shots and a tetanus shot, two different hiv prevention medication for a month, monthly blood tests for about a year.

I'm fine, and it barely stuck me in truth, but I was already afraid of needles and disease I still feel traumatized. I was not going to post at all, but I've always wondered if there was anything else I should have done. The doctors assured me that they were more precautious than necessary. - danfortesque

9.

Worked at an upscale ski resort. One family let their toilet-training kid pee behind the toilet and under the sink throughout their whole visit, then put our white towels on top of it to "help clean up the mess." Whole place smelled like a freakin rhino enclosure. Ruined the towels. - zorpthedestroyer

10.

25 years ago I worked at a snooty part of a snooty ski resort in Park City, Utah. Most of the regular guests were just typical old rich white dudes, but during Sundance season though, the celebrities come out.

There is a certain musician, entertaining us for decades now, who has a disgusting hobby. Or did in the early 90s at least.

Next time you're cuttin Footloose, or gettin close to the Danger Zone, just know that Kenny Loggins gives his entire family coffee-ground enemas, which leaves a giant mess, and leaves it for the hotel staff to clean up. Twice in one stay. - REO_Jerkwagon

11.

Old couple checked out and left a huge box of sex toys. Not that bad right?

We keep items for 90 days, hotel gets first dibs after that (say it's an iPad that would be good for something) then whoever found it gets second dibs, then GM, then it's whoever wants it.

Head house keeper kept them locked in her desk bc she wanted first dibs and was scared someone else would take them 😂😂😂😂 -brandyq

12.

Worst to clean up, not because it was gross, but because it was annoying and time consuming, was popcorn. A baseball team stayed in a couple rooms and I guess they had those like caramel popcorn balls? That they had just thrown all over the room. At the walls, furniture. It stuck to the carpet and was almost impossible to vacuum. - slpofrsn

13.

I once cleaned a stayover during an anime convention, found a bunch of anime girl plush dolls and a tail butt plug in the half-made bed, and what I fondly refered to as a “family size” bottle of lube with a lotion pump just chillin on the nightstand.

I’m into anime, so it wasn’t a surprise for me, but I could only imagine literally any one of my older coworkers finding that. - zeriibean

14.

I once found the electric kettle filled with urine. - caprismart1978

15.

F*cking broccoli. Everywhere. In the bed, the tub, the toilet, drawers. It was ground into the carpet. No clue why. That's the weirdest one - motherofxmen

16.

Waffle in the nightstand. - ThrowAwayLlama97

Most people are nice enough to try to avoid calling cancer survivors a**holes, but a recent post had the internet doing just that.

A woman wrote into "Am I The A**hole?" asking if she was a jerk to hide the fact that she had a mastectomy from her long-distance boyfriend of three years.

"I am honestly heartbroken right now," she began.

The post reads:

I (24F) am a breast cancer survivor. I have had my left breast removed and there's just a scar there now.

When I go out I wear a silicon padding on my left breast otherwise it looks very odd and makes me self conscious.

My boyfriend (23M) and I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. We had met a couple of times but we just enjoyed each other's company. He knows i am a cancer survivor but doesn't know about my breast.

After three years long-distance, they moved in together, and he was surprised when they got intimate:

I decided to move in with him about a month ago and we tried to have sex.

I said tried because the moment he laid eyes on my breast his face went white and he refused to touch me further. He said I had cheated him and that I should have told him earlier about my breast.

I told him that I didn't think it was important since he said he loves all of me and that he thought I was beautiful. I am honestly so conflicted right now and I feel like a horrible person.

AITA for not telling my boyfriend that I don't have breast?

While sensitive to the nature of this secret, the Reddit jury was simply shocked that she chose to hide this from her boyfriend for THREE FRICKIN' YEARS!

The most popular comment came from gevander2, who wrote that while they value someone's privacy about losing their breast, a person becomes an a**hole when they:

1. Are in a relationship for three-years and don't divulge such a "critical piece of information about you they are," AND

2. Surprise somebody with a scar after moving in with them.

Surprise parties can be good for a relationship, but surprise major body modifications reek of mistrust.

"Yes, he said he loves 'all of you.' But you didn't share 'all of you' with him when he said that," gevander2 explained. "You lied about who you really are and are now upset because he "caught you" in your lie."

In the end, the OP edited her original post to announce that she and her boyfriend had broke up.

"Had a talk with him," she said. "He says he can't be with me anymore, he didn't know I was lacking a breast because I looked fine in my pictures. Thank you for your help everyone."

Now that she's single, OP doesn't have to put "only has one boob" on their Tinder profile, but they might want to tell their partner before they move in with them after three years.

Humans get pets because they're cute, cuddly, and excited to see us when we get home after work. They make us feel safe and less alone and they never tell boring stories about their day. But our pets are more than just glorified stuffed animals—they can be pretty damn intelligent, probably far more so than we realize. Sometimes they can be so smart it's actually creepy. Are dogs and cats preparing for world takeover?! (I hope so.)

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the most creepily intelligent thing your pet has ever done?" These 22 pet-owners share the eerily smart things their cats and dogs have done:

1.) From CapoeiristaAlpinista:

I woke up one summer morning to a flooded basement. My dad was yelling at me that I had left the outdoor faucet running which caused the flood. Spent hours and lots of money cleaning it up. Come to find out my dog, after watching me use the faucet, figured out how to turn it on. We only found this out because one day my dad heard someone cranking on the faucet, and when he looked into the yard, my boxer's mouth was around the valve, twisting her head like a confused puppy until it turned on. She never did figure out how to turn it off though.

2.) From justasmalltowngrill:

Not my pet but the dog of a farmer in my grandma's town that recently had given birth to puppies. When we were strolling around by the farm we saw the dog and said to her: “hey, show us your puppies!“ next thing we know, the dog ran around the farm and came back with all her cute little puppies and let us play with them. What a wonderful day.

3.) From [deleted]:

My friend’s dog knows he’s not allowed onto one very specific carpeted area in the house and he knows never to step onto that area. How does he like to be a smartass about it? He grabs his favorite toy, casually tosses it onto said carpeted area, looks at us, and gives us the “well my toy’s there and I have to step onto the carpet to get it”. He does it so slowly and so deliberately that you know he’s being a complete smartass about it. I can’t help but laugh every time he does it which is not often. He typically does it when he’s desperate for our play because he knows he’ll get a laugh and a positive reaction out of it.

4.) From eclectique:

We had a dog growing up that wasn't allowed at the dinner table to beg for food, so at dinner time he would get as close to the dinner table as possible and turn his back to it, and look over his shoulder as we all ate.

5.) From Fred4106:

We had a cat that would bop the 120lb dog on the nose (without using claws) to get him to chase. Then promptly go sit in the carpeted living room where dog wasent allowed. It was hillllarious to watch dog panick slide around the corner then slip as he tried to avoid that room.

6.) From dbot123321:

My dad has always had problems with throwing his back out and it usually makes him unable to move for several weeks. Anyways, one time when he threw out his back, my dog grabbed a blanket in her mouth and slowly spread it over my dad while he was sleeping. We were all amazed and gave her a treat

7.) From [deleted]:

Woke me up and brought me outside to under the deck, where he very obviously showed me the cat that got out and was hiding under there. He looked at the cat, then back at me, then at the cat, then back at me.

8.) From dragonswithhats:

When I was younger I lost a watch that I really loved. Around that time my cat developed a habit of using his front paws to reach under the fridge and just scramble around under there like crazy. He was seriously obsessed and did that for almost a year, until one night he pulled out a tray that had been under the fridge, and on it was my watch. After that he never touched the fridge again. He was a good boy.

9.) From code1coffee:

My cat is diabetic. About a month ago he had to start insulin twice daily. I have an auto feeder which goes off every 12 hours and gives a preportioned meal. Since I work early in the morning the first meal goes off at 5am. Half an hour after he eats he gets his insulin. He is a good boy and sits very still while I give him his needle. Every time I tell him "good boy!" and give him a quick once over with his favorite brush. On my day off I forgot to set my alarm for his insulin. At 5:30 he jumped right up on my chest and patted my face every so gently until I got out of bed. He immediately ran right to the fridge and sat down(where the insulin is) waiting for his first brushing. Good boy knows he is a good boy.

10.) From turtletyler:

There was a time when, coming back from a trip, the balls of my feet were swollen and it hurt going up and down the stairs. My cat, that little shit, would actually imitate me by limping up and down the stairs (taking the steps one at a time) while meowing pitifully. I swear if he could talk, he would've said something like "see, this is how stupid you look."

11.) From KABtheLABS:

I actually have a story for this. I taught my dog to play hide and seek. I made him sit in the kitchen while I hid a rawhide somewhere in the house. He would then search until he found it and would then bring it back to me. I would then tell him to hide it and he would. One day I was searching for the damn rawhide for like 10 mins and could not find it. Searched everywhere. Eventually I had to give up totally confused. Next morning I open a dresser drawer to get a pair of shorts and there it is. He saw a slightly cracked drawer, dropped it in, closed it, and outsmarted a human. I was very proud.

12.) From mangolangoon:

My cousin had a koi fish pond and two dogs. One night the dogs started barking during the middle of the night really loud and urgently, and they almost never bark at anything. My cousin and her parents knew something was weird and went out to check.

One of the fish somehow managed to jump out the pond and was flopping around next to the water on the concrete, and one dog was trying to help it back in the water with his nose while the other was barking for my cousin or her parents to help.

Once they watched them place the fish in the water, they went back in the kennels to sleep. They would watch the pond a lot from then on.

13.) From roogoogle:

While at the park playing fetch, my dog spotted a squirrel and took off after it into the woods. I couldn't find her for the life of me so my mom and I started driving around to look for her and checking our home voicemail every 10 minutes in case someone found her and called the number on her tags. 2 hours go by and we decide to go home to eat before continuing our search.

Turns out she walked the 3 miles back home from the park and snuck under the backyard deck and up the deck stairs and was waiting at the back door for us upon our return.

That smart bitch. Still love her though.

14.) From kyreannightblood:

My 13 lb ginger cat always had to be near me. Some of the doors in my house didn’t latch, and he learned to open them by using his body as a battering ram. Okay, fine. So one day I’m in a closed room with a door that does latch, and I hear the doorknob rattle. It rattles for a bit then turns, and the cat pops the door open with his weight and saunters in.

I miss him.

15.) From Oryagoagyago:

I watched my Australian Shepherd problem solve how to get her tennis balls that get stuck under the furniture out by taking another tennis ball and rolling it to knock the stuck one out. She seemed very pleased with herself.

16.) From ThaleaTiny:

I was in my closet getting dressed, and my Doberman came, obviously wanting me to follow him.

I did, in a hurry, and found my kid with a handful of screws that someone, one of the decorators probably, had left in the bay window. She was about to put them in her mouth.

Kid was two. That was the best dog.

17.) From jack104:

Not my pet but my best friends. His dog figured out how to open the patio door at his house by hitting the handle and leaning into it and so rather than wait to be let out to relieve herself at night she would just open the door and go outside and handle business. However, the door would usually shut when she would go out and the exterior handle was a knob which she couldn't manipulate without thumbs. So she would scratch and bark a bit until my friend came and let her back in. Then she figured out an even better way to get in. When she had finished her business she would go around front and (I shit you not) bonk the doorbell with her nose. Now I never knew she could do this so I was watching a movie at my friend's place and he went to go use the can and while he was occupied the door bell rang and I got up to answer it and I didn't see anyone out the screen door so I shrugged and went back to my seat. Then it rang again and this time I opened the screen door and there was the dog sitting patiently waiting to come in. I was floored. I was like "DUDE. YOUR FUCKING DOG KNOWS HOW TO RING A DOOR BELL???" And he was like "Yea, did I not tell you that?"

"NO YOU DIDN'T. I'M ALSO NOT SURE WHY I'M SHOUTING." She died a few months back and my friend and his family were devastated. RIP Molly.

18.) From ILikeMapleSyrup:

My brother was sitting at the table eating cake when he hears our dog barking at the front door. He gets up to check it out (usually means someone is about to ring the doorbell) and then our dog sprints back to the unsupervised cake and eats it all in one bite.

19.) From PalePlebian:

Not mine, by my mother had two cats in Hawaii before I was born. She would tell stories about how one, Epo, was very intelligent, and the other, Popokie, was as dumb as a bag of rocks. Made a great pair.

She would talk about how they'd be playing out back and she would call them in for dinner. Epo would immediately show up, but Popokie would be lost in her very small backyard

She would just look at Epo and say: "Epo, go get Popokie!"

And Epo would run out and guide Popokie into the house and to his food dish so that he could have dinner.

Same sort of thing if she had no idea where Popokie was. She would just tell Epo to find him, and Epo would go search the house and bring Popokie to her.

20.) From treylew64:

Rock in a rocking chair. I thought my living room was haunted for weeks.

21.) From lacquerqueen:

He has to take antibiotics for ten days They are pills.

In the beginning, i was wondering why he wasnt getting better. Turns out, the asshole was keeping them in his cheek or under his tongue and spitting them out under the closet.

So now i hold him until he swallows and then i check his mouth.

It’s really one of those times i wish i could explain to him why i am ‘torturing’ him with eye drops and painkillers and whatnot. YOU ARE A SENIOR KITIZEN AND YOU HAVE A SEVERE COLD. Stop spitting things out!

On the other hand, he has never scratched or bitten me, just struggles and pulls away.he is a very sweet cat.

22.) From Lontology:

Faked to have a paw injury so I'd carry him around the house.

It doesn't matter how sensitive or socially aware you are, we all suffer from foot-in-mouth at some point. There are few feelings of humiliation more all encompassing than realizing you just said the absolute worst thing, at the worst time, in front of other human beings who are now suffering your mistake.

While the shame of foot-in-mouth eventually fades into the distance, the cringe-inducing stories live on in our hearts and diaries forever.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared times they suffered major foot-in-mouth, and it'll make you feel much better about the last time you ruined dinner.

1. From OP:

For me it was back in my University days. Studying in the library a couple of Chinese guys a few desks behind me started talking really loudly, and angrily. Looking around I saw people were annoyed but, as Canadians, decided to take it in stride and just complain amongst themselves/Facebook, instead. It was a regular thing in the library for the Chinese foreign students to just use desks as social hangouts, rather than quietly study (this isn't discrimination, just an observation).

Deciding I should do something, for the greater good (because I have a half-assed hero complex and wanted to impress the girl I was studying with), I huffed up my chest and went over to tell them both to shut the f*ck up, people were there to study and that they could talk anywhere else on campus and nobody would give a sh*t. Just not in the library.

Then I saw one of the guys actually had tears in his eyes while the other told me he just got an email from home saying his mother was really sick and they didn't realize how loud they were talking. They both apologized profusely and left with their heads hung low.

Watching them leave, I just thought, "Sh*t, I'M the douchebag here."

2. From motherofgott:

At college, there was a guy who always walked around leaned waaay back, always had headphones on, swaggered. I asked my friends one day if he really thought he was that cool.

He had polio.

3. From devouredbylogic:

My moment was not even something I did but just sitting next to my friend who was the actual douche. Me and some friends decided we would take another one of our friends out to a movie because she had not done much since her mother had passed away about a month earlier.

The movie was "Shaun of the Dead." At one point when the zombies were everywhere my friend inadvertently and without thinking said wow that zombie looks like your mom. The girl immediately burst into tears and my friend soon realized what he had done. The night did not go as planned.

4. From dfitzy92:

In 7th grade gym class we were playing volleyball. Teams were co-ed and randomly assigned by the gym teacher. I hated losing, and still do to this day, but I was taking the game way too seriously. There was this one girl who had her jacket sleeves over her hands and she was missing every shot. I told her to roll up her sleeves and use both hands to play. She seemed pretty offended but I didn't think too much of it.

Fast forward to the end of class; I was in the locker room talking to my friends about this girl who sucked. My friend overhears me talking, stops me and says "you know she only has one hand, right?" I look at him dumbfounded, refusing to believe that I was unaware that a girl who had been in my grade for 7 years had 1 hand. Everybody else in the locker room knew and eventually convinced me.

I have never felt like more of a douchebag than I did on that day.

TL;DR: I yelled at a one-handed girl for being bad at volleyball in gym class.

5. From kukamunga:

I'm a tame driver by California standards. When I moved to the Pacific Northwest: "Sh*t, I'M the douchebag here."

6. From GetLikeMe:

I have this kid in my class (let's call her Caroline) that is miraculously absent from school whenever we have a test. Her cousin is in another one of my classes and had told me that all Caroline has to do is tell her mom that she doesn't want to go to school, and the mom will let Caroline stay home for no reason whatsoever.

For the last test, Caroline told me that she would not be there for the test, and I launched into a long diatribe about how I see the pattern in absences, about how she's disrespecting me by skipping school on test days, and about how it's negatively affecting her grades.

She then told me her grandmother had died and gave me a note from her mother, excusing her from the test.

I called up her mother to potentially confront her about letting her daughter stay home when she is not sick and because the note looked really fake (sloppy handwriting, seemingly obvious forgery). Her mom is on the phone for less than a minute before she starts crying hysterically because her mom (Caroline's grandmother) had actually died. I stayed on the phone with her for thirty minutes, comforting her and offering my condolences.

TL;DR - Student always skips school on test days. Skips test because "her grandmother died." I confront the mother to find out grandmother is actually dead and cause the mother to have a complete mental breakdown.

7. From cbh3dy:

I'm a medical student. I once had to interview a patient. Was taking a family history to get a history of genetic illnesses. He stated that his mother died of a stroke and his father had died recently, but he didn't remember what he died of. What I MEANT to say was "It's ok that you don't remember. I'm sorry for your loss."

What came out of my mouth was "It's not a big deal". My attending pretty much threw me out of the room.

8. From becuzimbrown:

My 21st birthday, about 10 shots in. We're crossing the quad at our school at night to go to the bar down the street and there's a candlelight vigil. I had no idea what it was at the time and drunkenly scream out "NICE IS THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!?!?!"

I'm the douchebag here.

9. From Malcx:

Loudly complained to my girlfriend at the time about the rude b*tch that pushed in front of us in a queue. "Damn some people are so self-centered, didn't she f*cking see us?"

No in fact she didn't. She was blind.

10. From badillin:

I was AT a bar and the TV was airing the news.

We couldn't hear anything, but an image of a kid with a wrestler (Luchador) mask and another kid with bandages on his head and body appeared on screen, and I yelled something like "WOAH Watch out for Mascarita Sagrada and the Mummy."

Then a wild text appeared on the bottom of the screen that read. "Burnt Kids Ward Talk About Being Burnt on 95% of their body And Losing Their Parents to a Fire" or something like that.

I felt like a douchebag and everyone else agreed.

11. From ILikeMyBlueEyes:

A coworker telling me that another coworker just left because she received news that her brother committed suicide. I said "And how long is she going to be out?" in a snotty tone. Seriously, the "brother committed suicide" didn't register in my brain yet and I asked that question like it was such a HUGE inconvenience because we all now had to take on some of her shifts. Yeah...I got some shocking stares from everyone. THEN I realized what I said.

12. From mongster2:

I ride public transit to school every day, and my backpack is always stuffed with books. My personal bubble doesn't include my backpack though, and for a full year I was unaware that when the bus was really crowded, I would be mercilessly swinging it into other people's personal space.

One day, a really old man informed me that I was inconveniencing a young lady behind me. I told him the bus was crowded for everybody, and asked him what he would have me do. He said, verbatim, "Put it on the ground, you f*cking idiot." This guy must have been 90 years old. That's when I knew I was the bad guy.

13. From selfproclaimedfreak:

We had some items go missing around the house, so it was decided that we should change the locks. (There had been a few break-ins in the neighborhood) When the our cleaning lady came the next week her key obviously didn't work and I had to go get the door for her. It was about 8 am and I had just woken up.

She says, "I thought you all changed the locks on me hahahaha." I reply with a deadpan, "We did." and walked away. Took me about 5 minutes to realize how douche-y that sounded and felt like a total tool.

14. From shawn_diggidy:

In high school, can't remember the context. Me being sarcastic: "What, does your dad have leukemia or something?" Her dad had leukemia. :(

15. From AerieC:

It was winter (i.e. snow all over the roads), and I was driving behind some guy in a big SUV. As we come up to a red light, he moves into the right turn lane, and I continue in the "straight ahead" lane.

When the light turns green, he doesn't turn, and instead keeps going straight ahead and I almost run into him as he drifts in to my lane. So of course, I honk and give him the finger.

A day or two later, the snow on the roads melted, and I noticed that the turning lane he was in was not actually a turning lane, it was another "go straight ahead" lane, and I had actually drifted into his lane (thinking it was my lane), honked at him, and gave him the finger.

Yeah, I felt like a pretty big a*s after that one.

TLDR: I drifted into another lane and honked/flipped off an innocent guy due to my own stupidity.

16. From phouck:

After about season 3 of House I would randomly say "It's never lupus" in conversation...until a friend chimed in with "my mom has lupus". Thought of defending my situation and decided to just apologize instead.

17. From pr0crastin8or:

My cousin's GF told me she was adopted and I thought I'd call her bluff. I took her cell phone and called her mom...who informed me she was actually her adoptive mom. My cousin later told me her biological mom was murdered by her bf when she was a baby.

I bought her an Ipad.

18. From cawkstrangla:

I was going to the movies with my (now ex) girlfriend in college. I think it was one of the Harry Potter movies. The kid at the ticket booth was a very tall, slim, acne afflicted, ginger nerd. Now I'm a nerd myself, so I harbor no ill will towards him for his appearance, but this was my impression of him.

My girlfriend was looking through her purse as I asked the kid for two tickets, to which he replied "Uh, that'll be 18 dollars" in a very nasally nerd voice. Unfortunately for him, I have this awful habit of imitating any weird or funny noise as soon as I hear it, but usually only in my head.

For some reason the filter just wasn't there and I immediately imitated him right in front of his face saying "That'll be 18 dollars" in an exaggerated nerdy, nasal tone. There was a good 5-10 seconds of silence as we both stared into each other's eyes. I will never forget the look on his face. I crushed him and we both knew it.

I grabbed the tickets from his hand, thanked him, grabbed my girlfriend's arm and got the f*ck out of there. I was completely ashamed of myself. My girlfriend never noticed.

19. From bassticle:

Went to a guy's house to jam with a band, hadn't met him before, and his daughter kept coming to ask me if I wanted to "play with the babies" in this really annoying, unique way. After about the 20th time I began to grow tired of it and I told her I didn't want to play in a tone kind of mocking how she had been asking me. He then said with a complete stone-cold killer serious face, "She has (some mental disability that I can't remember). I think you should probably make her happy and play with the babies."

So I played with the babies and avoided eye contact with him for a while.

20. From spartancavie:

I coach a college team and one of my player's (call him Steve) invited me to a reception at his house last Sunday because his mother passed away. This kid is 18, a freshman, and has to deal with the death of his mother in the first year of college. I feel terrible and want to help in any way so of course I'm going to this reception for support. His mother fought lung cancer for the last few months and died last week.

We're at his house and there's about 50 people all standing around talking and I'm standing in a circle of 4 other players on the same team. Steve comes over we can tell he's had a rough day of 'thanking people for coming'. He's surprisingly optimistic, and I can tell he's trying not to get too down. We're trying to stay positive, telling jokes and interesting stories, talking about how big his house is, and how he has this awesome fireplace.

Then one of the player's coughs this terrible cough. He's been sick for a few days and coughs up all this gross phlegm. Sick kid says, "I hate that I have this stupid cough that won't go away." To which I respond, "That sounds more like cancer."

I FUCKING MADE A CANCER JOKE IN FRONT OF AN 18yr KID WHOSE MOM JUST DIED OF LUNG CANCER. I felt terrible.

Every day, thousands of people post personal stories on the internet for both adivce and for our entertainment. The flip side of this treasure trove of juicy anecdotes is that the subjects of the stories can find them just as easily as we did.

People who got busted posting about people, or were the people the stories were about, shared what it was like to have their internet complaints bleed into the real world.

Hopefully nobody finds these posts.

1. WishIWereTheMoon highlighted that there are two sides to every story.

I met a guy (still talk to him occasionally) about five years ago who was in town from the Air Force. We hit it off, went on a date. He later asked me to come to a pub with him to meet his coworkers/buddies. I thought nothing of it and went. To him, it looked sudden but I thanked him and left quickly. He chased me as I left to ask why I was going (he wasn't being creepy). I couldn't really put things in words at the time. I think I just said, I'm sorry I have to go.

He posted to Today I F*cked Up because he thought it was his fault. That sub told him I was crazy and he dodged a bullet. It hurt a lot.

In my perspective, a few months prior, I was involved with a pilot who actually had had a wife the entire time. I was really young, partying too much, dumb and naive. It still broke my heart. So soon as I got there and met his friends, it made me uneasy (and wasn't this guys fault, I just didn't think it would bother me).

My mom at the time was also battling brain cancer. Sometimes when something really bad happens, I guess it takes me awhile to really understand whats going on. I was in shock and denial of the severity and so I tried to run away from all of it through dating, partying and drinking. I didn't want to deal with her dying. I was scared.

As I stood there, thinking of the pilot and how heartbroken I had felt, I remembered the tumour. It just struck me. She was dying, I was in a pub- what was the f*ck was I doing? Where were my priorities?

I thanked him and left so I could go home and process everything going on. I coordinated with my family, my mom eventually pulled through and life went on.

I found the post through its popularity. I reached out to him, explained and him being a saint, was more than understanding. I still talk to him sometimes. It also taught me how important it is to take time to feel pain and to communicate what you're experiencing to those around you.

2. PM_ME_UR_FIRESALE learned her ex's true feelings.

Found my ex's profile, he wrote about sorting out feelings with a friend (not me) that he always liked. They always had a Ross/Rachel quality to them, but reading his posts made so much sense.

3. -Laggi-YT is free now.

I had made an Entitled Parent post and the Entitled Parent's son found it and showed it to his mommy. She then came knocking on my door, asking me to take it down (my Reddit username was my IRL name) I told her that I couldn’t do that and she threatened to report me to police for putting her in something she didn't give consent to. I told her it didn’t matter because no real names or location were mentioned. She stormed off in a hurry. I never to this day have delt with her again.

4. buddboy had to clear his Reddit history.

I commented on an ask reddit post about "the most fucked up thing you ever walked in on". I was really late to the party and didn't think anyone would see my comment about a wild thing I walked in on during a house party my room mates and I threw. I was happy when the post started getting attention. Then it started getting thousands of upvotes.

My friend who was my roommate at the time of the story asked in a group chat my old room mates are all in "are any of you buddboy on reddit?" They quickly figured out it was me based on my reddit history. The result was I had to panic delete all my porn-free posts out of embarassment. Now all my friends know my reddit account. I find it very freeing as I used to keep it private but I just don't care anymore.

5. Big Brother is watching you, Jota769.

I was giving someone anonymous career advice on Reddit and the corporate office of company that I worked DM-ed me and basically told me to stop. They saw my post and basically internet-stalked me until they figured out who I was (they said they knew my identity in their DM).

It was a super 1984 moment for me.

6. boobaloo222 found out why she dumped her boyfriend.

I broke up with my boyfriend after I finally stopped ignoring my feelings that there was a reason my boyfriend was emotionally unavailable. I saw his deleted Reddit post a week after asking relationship advice if he should text his ex from 3 years ago because he "just realized" he’ll never love someone the way he did her. that was pretty fucked up to read but also relieving! But you know what they say: don’t go looking for things you don’t wanna find.

7. QueensAnat has had to delete multiple accounts after getting caught.

Years ago on a different account I shared a story about this dude waaayyyy overreacting to my BFF telling him she wasn't interested. Me, being young and foolish had a username that I used everywhere else. He found the story, recognized the name and showed up in my DMs. He was not happy.

I deleted my account and made a new one straight after with a brand new name I had never used before. A few years later my BFF's boyfriend at the time found a story I had posted about a [Dungeons and Dragons] campaign we were both in. I had to delete that account too :/

I've not had good luck with this.

8. The family that Reddits together, lespaulstrat2...

A few years ago I made a comment on a post about families on the day before Thanksgiving where I mentioned that one of my cousins stabbed his mother to death. My son, whose screen name I didn't know, replied "Tell them about the cousin who killed a prostitute"

A stranger popped in and asked "How many of your family are here"? to which my son replied. "I dunno, we'll find out tomorrow at Thanksgiving.

9. Back2Bach shares the rare positive story.

It received a very positive reaction from the person being described in the account.

The post concerned a homeless man that I helped get a job and a new beginning on life. Every detail matched, so he figured out the rest from there and was glad that his story might give some degree of hope to others.

10. issiautng's Reddit post turned into a real life hookup.

Told a story about a guy I knew in high school that I hadn't spoken to in a few years. He saw it, reached out to me, we talked about how we were mutually attracted to each other in high school. He was broken up with his long term girlfriend, so we hooked up once and then he went back to her toxic crap again. Oh well, I got to scratch that itch.

11. GirlWorshipper got caught by the girl he worshipped.

A little more than a year ago I've posted about a girl that I started dating, and due to sheer luck she found my post. I've never been happier in my life and we're engaged now.

12. ReplyForDickPictures (nice username, buddy) had his mind blown.

I one posted a story about me being exceptionally bad at basketball when I was a child, 15 years earlier, and someone commented with a link, saying, WAS THIS YOU??

The link went to the same story told from the perspective of someone else on my team. He posted it an hour before I did.

This was also the second time I ever smoked weed, so my mind was just shattered.

13. From notpercyjackson:

My sister posted about her abusive ex and he saw it, but the thing is it wasn't trending so the only way he could see it was if he went to her profile and found it.

Then instead of sorting it out himself, he had his mother call her and ask her to stop embarrassing her poor boy.

Dating during pandemic isn't exactly the most romantic setting...

If you're single, you might have tried giving Zoom or FaceTime first dates a chance, and if you're married or living with a partner, it's possible you're seeing an entirely different side of someone. Suddenly realizing you're married to the person who interrupts during conference calls? Uh oh. Wondering how many glasses of wine is appropriate to drink alone before your virtual dating that is essentially more drinking alone? It's a tough call between what's worse: breaking up before the quarantine and now being heartbroken and trapped inside or getting ghosted in a lockdown when you know your crush doing a whole lot of nothing right now...

Trying to find love or maintaining a good relationship is hard enough without a quarantine. However, people haven't yet lost their sense of humor. Here are the funniest tweets we could find about breaking up, getting ghosted, and dating during a pandemic...

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What's the key to a happy marriage? I have no idea personally. But from what I've gathered in years of internet-sleuthing, it's laughter and silliness. No one wants to spend the rest of their lives in American Gothic. One way to keep the fun alive in a marriage is creating funny, weird and ridiculous traditions, so that you and your partner have something to share aside from bills, children, and a sink full of dishes.

Someone asked married people Reddit: "what's your favorite tradition you started with your spouse?" These 25 people share the unconventional traditions that are helping keep their marriages funky and fresh:

1.) From Nolamom1222:

Every time we go to Vegas, we get married again. It started on our honeymoon, just because we had been upgraded to a convertible rental car and spotted a drive-through chapel. We have now done it 9 times with various themes. My favorite was "white trash." The vows were priceless.

2.) From Datech329:

"Unknown Dining"

I wish I had a better name for it. It's cheesy, predictable, and explanatory all at the same time.

We were on our honeymoon at a resort and struck up a conversation with an older couple in a hot tub. Typical old people passing their knowledge onto the youngsters type of conversation. IIRC, he was on his third marriage and she was on her fourth, but they had been together for 8+ years by then and were simply on vacation at a couples resort.

"They're not wrong when they say the secret to marriage is keeping it fresh and interesting. But most people take that too far and end up cheating and ruining it all... You really just gotta keep the mundane stuff fresh."

And that's when they explained their dating plans. Every month, on the same day as your wedding day (i.e. every 8th, no matter what day of the week) you go on a date to a restaurant neither of you have ever been to before. And that's not a, "Well we've never been to the Waffle House down on Grand," it means you need to try an original place neither of you have ever experienced, anywhere. Pretty simple, but man is it effective!

On a tight budget? You now have 12 scheduled dates a year no one can argue about. Go out all the time? You now ensure you won't get in a "rut" of the same places. New restaurant in town? Built in excuse to visit it.

The longer it goes on the more you want to make sure the streak continues. And if you live in the same place it also increases your comfort area as you're forced to go farther and farther to find a unique restaurant. A slight adjustment that we added recently is the 5-2-1 rule (thanks Reddit) to choose places, where I choose 5 spots, she chooses 2 of them she'd be happy with, and then I make the final choice of where we're actually going. It's not always necessary but it's useful if either of us goes on a picky streak.

But the true beauty is that, no matter what, we still get to have adventures together. That's what marriage is all about.

3.) From ToeKneePA:

When my wife and I got married, we asked everyone to write notes to us and put them in envelopes numbered by table. Our tradition is to open one of those envelopes each year on our anniversary based on the table number. This year was our 7th anniversary, so we opened envelope 7.

It's something we look forward to each year. We don't remember who sat where, except for table 14 because those friends wrote all over the front. Sometimes people made a prediction of the future, sometimes it's about what's happening at the wedding, sometimes it is disappointing and bland. Either way, it's our fun thing that I recommend to everyone who is getting married.

4.) From PennsylvaniaCook:

The shower game. Originally it was one of us would sneak in on the other when they were in the shower and douse them with cold water. Several years ago we put in the Moen Iodigital shower with yets int he front and back, a hand shower, and a regular forward facing shower head. Each can be individually operated. The new game is to aim the handheld massager so that when one of us turns on the shower, the rest of the jets are off and the handheld shoots me or her in the face with water going every where. There are strict rules. Once one of us does it, it is the other persons turn. You can wait days, months or years until the other person is lulled into forgetting. Usually the perpetrator is in bed laughing their ass off. I guess that qualifies as a tradition

5.) From Eff-Bee-Exx:

This started when our kids were young, like about 5 and under, and there was no peace or privacy inside the house.

For Valentine's Day we'd put on our winter gear, go out in the back yard and lay in the snow, and share a bottle of champagne. I think we even managed to do it one year when the temperature hit -40. Added bonus: occasional northern light shows.​​​​​​

6.) From I_smell_crickets1107:

Our first Christmas living together we went out and got a tree, lights, ornaments and all that good stuff. We get the tree all decorated and that's when we realized we didn't get a star or angel to put on top. I grab one of my hats and put it on top. We do this every year now. It's been a different hat every year for six years.

7.) From jpisar9732:

When my husband and I started dating we were both flat broke. I forget what it was but we had some small victory and decided to celebrate. We grabbed a bottle of Boone's Farm wine. Now whenever we have something to celebrate, new job, a pay raise, we grab a bottle and have a private party. It helps us remember how far we've come.

8.) From ironhead_mule:

Our first year being married, Halloween of 1987, trick-or-treaters came to the door. We were completely unprepared. My wife opened the door to apologize for having no candy. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the first thing I saw.

It's our tradition now that the first trick or treater every year gets a potato.

9.) From Lahtnesor:

My wife and I started taking a picture every year on our anniversary. We started this tradition when we were dating/engaged. Each year we take a picture holding last years picture. This one is the latest of us celebrating 1 year of marriage.

Link to pic: https://i.imgur.com/RIqhRzb.jpg

10.) From SweetieMcCutiePie:

When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband was organizing baby clothes and it was after midnight. It was quiet and we were excitedly anticipating the birth of our first child. He kissed me and I said "I love this time with you!"...meaning the quiet "us" time that would soon be a rarity. He smirked and cocked his head and said "what? 12:53?! So do I!! Ever since that night when either of us notice that the clock has turned to 12:53, we say "Happy 12:53!" And then we make out for a few minutes. If we are not together, we text it to each other. After 24 years together it has now become a thrill to try and be the first one to say it.

11.) From [deleted]:

Birthday o'clocks. When the time on the clock reads the date of your birthday, that's your birthday o'clock (so my birthday is 25 December and my birthday oclock is 12:25). My husband and I always used to try to catch each other's birthday o'clock and send a text or photo.

He died in November and I happen to look at the clock at his birthday o'clock almost every day. Always makes me lose my shit, but it was such a weird and funny tradition that it makes me smile a little bit too.

12.) From toasted_buttr:

November 1 is Cupcake Day. A few months after we started dating, we had broken up. The day after Halloween, I convinced him to let me come over and talk. I brought leftover Halloween cupcakes and we ended up talking for hours and getting back together. Every November 1 since then, we've eaten cupcakes together. This year will be our 9th Cupcake Day.

13.) From gleenglass:

My husband and I have very different decor preferences about Christmas and after a couple of years of unhappy compromising, we decided to take turns being in charge of decorating every other year. Last year I had a very tasteful tree that I thought could go in a kitschy boutique store display that my husband said was boring as shit.

I'm pretty sure we're gonna have a Batman tree this year.

14.) From OrganicGrowth77:

20 years married here. We have lots of silly traditions but the one we both cherish is every Sat pm before bed I sing to her and we dance in the kitchen with the lights off. Ive learned in my years those moments mean the most. Corny, i know but we dont have tons but we will always have that.

15.) From roonerspize:

First date was on a whim to a local restaurant where she wore sweats and I wore a t-shirt (edit: and jeans). We ordered an unhealthy meal of appetizers (like buffalo wings, loaded cheese fries, nachos, quesadillas) and milk shakes. Every New Years Eve we celebrate by making similar appetizers, but now the kids are into it and each person gets to pick one appetizer they'd like made and we all make them together and pig out before watching some other earlier time zone's new years celebration and get to bed by 10pm.

16.) From photogwithatinydog:

Every Christmas we gift each other the most god awful ugly Christmas ornament we can find. We've been doing it for about 3 years and our tree just gets crazier every year.

His mother said we are "desecrating the spirit of the Christmas tree." So that's also a plus.

17.) From [deleted]:

Second Thanksgiving.

Many years ago, we did our standard Thanksgiving with extended family on Thursday.
The next day, we were talking about how we wanted the food again, since most of the leftovers were at the hosts house.
So we went to the grocery store, saw that all the Thanksgiving foods were now on sale to get rid of them, bought everything we needed, and prepared a fresh Thanksgiving dinner that Friday.

That was about 10 years ago. We still celebrate Second Thanksgiving every year, only now it's also with our kids.

18.) From erynosaurus:

Every Valentines Day we buy a new Lego set, stay in, and build our Legos while eating really good homemade pasta.

19.) From Viking042900:

My wife and I (married for 17 years) never stopped keeping track of the anniversary of our first date. It has become a competition to see who will remember it first each year and has sometimes resulted in one of us waking up the other at midnight to say "Happy dating anniversary" to win for the year.

20.) From LJGHunter:

At one point my husband and I purchased some frozen salmon filet that we never got around to using and they sat languishing in the back of freezer for...a long time.

When we eventually found them they were long past expired but we found we didn't really have the heart to throw them away; they'd been with us for so long they sort of felt like family. We put them back in the freezer and declared them the Salmon of Good Fortune, and decided that as long as they remained under our roof our household would prosper.

Thus began the tradition of our household Salmon Gods.

21.) From Pb_Blimp:

Hugs rule.

You can call hugs and the other person has to hug you, no matter what. Even if you're angry with them, you have to hug, and you get over it real quick,

The hug caller has to make the most effort though. She cant be in the kitchen, call hugs, and expect me to come downstairs for it.

22.) From STGGrant:

"I vermin you too."

At some point while we were dating, my wife drew a heart on something for me. Normally she's capable of drawing basic shapes, but for some reason this was awful—to the point that it looked like some sort of insect. We both laughed at it, and I off-handedly replied "I vermin you too, dear."

You know those little jokes that make both people laugh uncontrollably, but baffle anyone who hears them later? This became one of them. I get her a cookie cake with "I Vermin You Too" on it each year for our anniversary, and it delights us both to no end (while baffling the bakery staff.) It's great.

23.) ​​​​​​​From the4ner:

My wife is a doctor so she works late. Often, especially during the winter, she will come home after dark. She street parks her car, and our street isn't very well lit (quiet dead end). If I hear the beep of her car lock, I'll run to the window, where I keep a D Cell MagLite, and shine a "spotlight" on the sidewalk to light her way as she walks in. She will sometimes run around trying to "escape" the light. It's fun :-)

24.) From [deleted]:

We keep a custom Google map with every place we've had sex on it. It's like those maps with pins in it for countries you've visited, but for sex.

25.) ​​​​​​​From wbrendel:

At some point in our relationship, I thought it would be funny to buy a fake turd and leave it somewhere for my wife (girlfriend at the time) to find.

I left it in her shoe one night, and she found it the next morning while getting dressed. Then she left it in my laptop bag, and I found it when I got to work.

We’ve been exchanging this fake poo for years, hiding it in various unexpected places around the house.

We have never spoken about it with each other or acknowledged the existence of this “tradition”.

Just because movie theaters are closed because of social distancing doesn't mean that the cinema's staff can't still entertain.

Movie theater staff across the world are putting words of encouragement and jokes up on their marquees, and they're a fun celebration of film titles and famous quotes.

1. "Now showing: No Close Encounters of Any Kind"

2. "Double feature coming soon: The Death of Coronavirus plus, The End of Donald Trump"

3. "Home Alone :("

4. "May the force be with you"

5. "We're going to need a bigger boat"

6. "MARTY YOU MUST NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE ANYTHING YOU DO COULD HAVE SERIOUS REPERCUSSIONS ON FUTURE EVENTS"

7. "Dorothy was right: There's no place like home"

8. "Now showing: Some Like It Sanitized"

9. "The world is temporarily closed"

10. "We will get through this together—but apart"

11. "Cinema closed until real life doesn't feel like a movie"

12. "I'll be back"

13. "If you can read this we hope you are at least 6 feet away"

14. "Now showing: The Social Distance Network"

15. "Now showing: Mr. Smith Goes To Washing His Hands"

16. "Now showing: Don't Stand By Me"

Remember when we all thought 2016 was bad? Oh boy. We were so wrong...

We're only four months into 2020, but it's been a real journey so far, hasn't it? It feels a little like the apocalypse, we're in a highly stressful election year, so many of us are either out of work or working from home and we haven't showered or been outside in, let's just say, too long! If you're homeschooling your children in addition to all the other anxiety, you definitely deserve an award.

While we're socially distancing and binge-watching trashy reality television to get our minds off the terrifying news alerts our phones so rudely keep showing us, it's easy to assume that 2020 just couldn't get worse. However, when #How2020CouldGetWorse started trending, people got creative. Here are the funniest tweets we could find about how 2020 is an objectively awful, nightmare of a year...

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Stay safe, everyone!

Life is full of weird moments, but some are more creepy and inexplicable than others. Despite all logic and pressure to diseppel the notion of the supernatural, some experiences are too bizarre to explain away, and so a shudder-inducing question mark remains.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared their creepiest experiences that couldn't be rationalized.

1. From dudeweirdo:

I had just finished unloading a flatbed trailer full of hay, sat down on the back of the trailer and laid back to look at the night sky, when I suddenly felt like vomiting, like projectile vomiting, and there is also a plate and 5 screws in my arm and it immediately started vibrating and felt like it was heating up inside my arm, the cows around me started to run in random directions and I'm isolated, no cell service, no person around for miles, when suddenly this meteorite lit up the night sky with a blue light like it was daytime for like 3 seconds, as soon as it lit everything up, I felt better but I could see my cows running in every direction away from me, it was completely silent the whole time except for me and the cows.

2. From marishnu:

When I was about 5 I saw an all grey old man sitting with his knees against his chest under my bedside table. I did a 180, when back downstairs, and never mentioned it to anyone. Still think about it to this day.

3. From TheHorrorAbove:

Posted this before but. Way back in the day when building plastic airplane models were a thing, my brother saved up his allowance for a month to buy this certain kit. The day he brings it home my mother and father tell us we have to go to the grocery store and we set off for the supermarket. On arrival back home my brother races up to his room to start his model while the rest of us unpack the car.

A few seconds later he come into the kitchen with a weird look on his face, not frightened but not ok either. He asks us is this a joke? We all have no idea what hes talking about and ask him whats going on? He repeats "IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE" almost yelling it at us. My mom now realizes hes serious and grabs him by the hand and asks whats wrong.

My brother turns and says "very funny guys.what did you do buy another model and swap mine out for it?" My dad kinda laughed and said " no what are you talking about?" My brother rushes upstairs to his room and flies back down this time with a fully glued and painted model, the exact same one he purchased before. The box is shreaded on his bedroom floor.

My parents turn white, call the neighbors to see if anyone was seen on the property and start checking the rest of the house. Nothing else was touched, no doors were unlocked all windows sealed. This wasnt the only odd thing that would happen there but I remember it vividly because of my parents reaction. There is no humanly possible way that model was built, glued and painted in the time we were gone from the house. I would assume a prank by my dad who has that kind of humor but it probably was the only time ive ever seen him seem scared. He has never admitted to it in 30 plus years.

4. From WTFisabanana:

When I was in Highschool we use to play this stupid game we called Michael Meyers. It was basically just hide and seek but in the dark. You had to play at night with no lights on and the curtains drawn, no sounds playing and "Michael Meyers" had to wait in the basement for a few minutes while everyone hid.

One night we decide to play while my mom is out working. It was my brother, a few of my cousins, my friend and my little sister was probably 6 or so at the time. After a few rounds I am found first and have to be Michael. I don't like being the seeker alone so I ask if my friend can do it with me. Everyone was fine with it so we go and sit in the basement and wait. It's important during this part that you remain silent so you can hear where people are running to give you an advantage.

After the 5 minute wait time we left the basement and stood in the office for a minute to let our eyes adjust to the dark. We left the office after searching briefly and went into the dining room.

From the dining room you could see into the kitchen in the left and the living room on the right. We were pretty sure we heard every one run upstairs so we started heading to the living room when my friend said my sister was hiding on top of the fridge. I look over and she was peering through the door way from on top of the fridge, you could see her hair hanging and she was small. I assumed my brother put her up there as a joke because she definitely couldn't get up there herself.

I told my friend that we would just ignore her because she couldn't be seeker anyway. So we went upstairs to find everyone else. We found my cousins first. My brother was very good at this game and since we knew where my sister was we just gave up searching and yelled that he could come out from hiding. We switch on some lights and he came out of hiding with my sister.

My friend immediately started freaking out and asked my brother if she had been with him the whole time because we definitely saw her on top of the fridge. My brother ran downstairs turning the lights on as he went but there was no one down there. He checked everywhere in the house. No one.

I really felt like he had to have been messing with us but we would have heard someone moving around. The house was seriously dead quiet. I have tried to figure out everything it could have been beside my sister but I just don't know what it was. Its really not a great memory and still gives me goosebumps. I never played the game again and was never really comfortable in that house after that.

5. From monkeygirl2:

This just happened the other night. was sound asleep, on my side, when I felt someone poking my shoulder real hard, sort of jabbing it with a couple fingers. I sat up in bed so fast it made me a little dizzy. No one was there but I could feel the exact spot on my shoulder where those fingers had been poking. I couldn't go back to sleep, and even after an hour on reddit, i could still feel that sore spot on my shoulder.

6. From suicidesalmon:

My mom told me once that the weirdest thing she ever saw was a big white dog that came toward her on the street but when she turned around, the dog wasn't there anymore. It wasn't a crowded street or anything, it was just gone. The weird part about it is that I've seen the white dog too. I was heading down a street alone and then there was this big white dog next to me.

When I turned around, it was gone. I am certain I saw it and that it was there. I don't usually believe in ghosts and I'm the kind of person to watch ghost vids on YouTube in the middle of the night and go to bed with no problems because I don't believe in that stuff, but that dog thing that happened to both my mom and I is something I think about often.

7. From ani-oop-ididit:

I was 10 and visiting my grandma for the weekend so I could go to a wedding with her. I had woken up in the middle of the night to see my two stepbrothers standing over me. Now, I'd have no problem with this, they sleep walk, but they were three states away for a funeral.

8. From Rabaga5t:

I ordered something from Ebay, and something from Amazon. Two parcels arrive, one plain, and one in an Amazon box. Upon opening them I find the Amazon receipt inside the other box. It really felt like I was in the Truman show and the props guys had made an error.

I guess Ebay person could have had a spare amazon box and used it to ship their thing, and the amazon parcel could have been a third party, so not have had the branded packaging?

Freaked me out for a few hours.

9. From tittychittybangbang:

When I was younger, around 7 or 8 my mother, brother and I were living in a very old flat in a city a few hours from London. It’s a pretty old place and there are Slave Trade memorials all over the city, especially close to where we lived.

I used to have terrible night terrors so my mum moved me into her bedroom. I remember it very clearly, it was a large room and her bed was to the right of me, while my bed was vertical and facing the bedroom door. It was small, smaller than a regular single, and had metal railings all around it, no clue why but I remember it always made me feel safe.

I don’t know how soon after I moved into my mums room it started, but someone began visiting me. I say someone because this did not appear to be an entity or otherworldly creature, it looked like a man.

Every night, I would lie awake clutching the covers desperately, and waiting for him so I could scream. Don’t ask me why I didn’t scream first, in my child brain I think I was afraid if I screamed before I saw him he’d be mad.

Every night I would hear BOOM. BOOM. BOOM, which was the sound of his boots on the stairs, he walked very slowly so there was always about a 2 second gap between each step, doesn’t sound long but consider how quickly you actually walk up the stairs.

The BOOM of his boots would continue until he reached top, where he would slowly turn into my room, his boots would suddenly not make any noise, almost as if he wasn’t even touching the floor.

He was grey and faded, like a water colour. He wore a straw hat that he had tipped over his eyes so the top of his face was hidden, plus his head was always slightly bent forward as if he was looking at the floor. He wore dungarees and a shirt underneath that appeared tattered, and in his mouth was some kind of piece of hay or long grass or something, which he chewed as he walked.

He would make his way slowly to my bed, not looking up or changing pace, and the scariest part was I never could tell if he knew I was there or not. I couldn’t tell if he was just coming in my room because he wanted to be in that room or he was there for me, either way it was f*cking terrifying.

I mention I had night terrors before, because when I first saw him I thought he was a night terror. But then I started staying awake, and I waited for him because I was too scared to fall asleep and wake up with him stood over me. I know he was real, I felt him, I felt the presence of another person, I heard him, and I saw him. I would blink and then look, blink and look and he’d still be there walking.

Before he could get too close, I would scream, my mother would wake up, and I’d tell her he had come.

Eventually she went to my grandad (her dad) for help, she was genuinely scared and didn’t know what to do. I was scared in the day and scared at night, I was a wreck. She’s not a religious person per se, but she is highly spiritual. They believed he was a slave.

I don’t know exactly what they did, but I wasn’t allowed in that room for a couple of days, my mother had frankincense and some other herbs, and they spent time in the room speaking light and positive incantations. She asked whoever he was not to harm me, and to leave because I was afraid.

After that he never came back, it was like he’d never been there. I’m 27 now, it’s not exactly bloodcurdling fear like it was back then, but every now and then if I’m in a room and walk into a dark hallway, I shudder thinking about him, and where he really came from.

10. From LetsFightRn:

I used to live in a cheap, sketchier, and older neighborhood. My room was upstairs and I had a window facing my backyard. There was some leftover items from the last renters that I found: planks of wood, tools, and even a rusty butcher knife planted into the ground. The backyard had no fence surrounding it at all, and my parents needed to build one. I remember waking up many nights hearing footsteps in the backyard.

They would walk slowly, always leading up to directly below and facing my window. I never looked but I sensed that I was being watched. Then they would simply walk away. I told my parents desperately, but there wasn’t really anything that they could do. A phone was found in our backyard around that time and we returned it a sketchy character saying that he was chasing after his dog and must’ve dropped it. Once a fence was built I never heard the footsteps again.

11. From throwaway564563:

When I was a kid I shared a bed with my dad. One night with both me and my dad in bed the radio was softly playing a local fm station when a loud and disturbing satanic voice started mumbling incomprehensible nonsense (to me at least) for 10 seconds. I asked my dad what the hell that was as I was totally disturbed and he told me in a serious tone he will explain what happened in the future.

It spooked me as I've never heard something like this on the radio before, and we always had the radio on most nights. I'm old enough to understand some semblance of English at that point in time, so that incomprehensible mumbling is totally out of place. I could ask my dad now but I doubt he will remember it.

Who knows, it could just be the FM station making a sex joke and my dad obviously isn't gonna explain what it means. Don't know why, but I can't forget this seemingly insignificant incident.

12. From WabbieSabbie:

My godfather's mouth hung open while I was staring at him in his coffin. I was seven, and it was my first time seeing a dead body. The family blamed an inexperienced mortician, but until now I can never be sure if that was the case.

13. From Rens_Corner:

One time when I was 12 I was on the phone with a friend sitting outside when I saw a guy who was dressed funnily walk by. He was wearing a shirt that was the American flag (it didn't have the flag on it, it WAS the flag lol) a big winter coat (this was in Texas during summer), and short shorts. I laughed and told my friend what I just saw. She was silent for a bit so I asked if she was still there.

In a confused and slightly concerned voice she said "uh, yeah. its just that a guy wearing the exact same thing just walked past my house." when I asked her questions about his appearance, I nearly shat myself. this was the exact guy that just walked past my house. we lived 30 minutes apart from each other so there is absolutely no way this guy could be at both our houses at the same time. This happened 6 years ago and creeps me out to this day.

TL;DR: A man wearing strange clothes walked by both me, and a friend who lived 30 minutes away at the exact same time.

14. From cannibalking:

When I was a child, I lived in a house that had a very large, two story high entry way with a long staircase leading to the entrance. Across from the staircase was a large, antique mirror.

I was alone in the house, my mother and siblings out for groceries, and listening to music, when I stopped to look at my own reflection.

I saw myself in the reflection of the mirror descend the staircase. I ripped my headphones off and turned around, but I, of course, was not there. No one was.

15. From hellomydudes_95:

Both of these stories are water-related, but widely different.

I spent most of my school years in the swimming teams of wherever I studied. I wasn't really keen on competitions, mostly because I just liked the hard swimming. I was a troubled kid and I liked the strange quietness of the water.

So, one day, after class, I decided I wanted to swim for a bit, just to chill after a long day of consecutive tests. The swimming pool was in sort of a gym building, apart from the rest of the school and pretty empty in those off-class hours. When I enter, it was completely deserted. Only the lights were on. Not even the lifeguard was present (thinking back, that's kind of a hazard).

I quickly go to the locker room to get changed into my swimming gear and just like that, I'm in the water, doing laps over and over. I picked the middle lane of the pool because it was my favorite and if one of the older bully kids decided to f*ck around with the heating system (which happened pretty often), I wouldn't get blasted with a stream of cold water mid swimming session.

As I was about to take a breath by turning my head to the left, I see a man swimming on the lane right beside me. Not an older kid or anything, an actual adult. He looked incredibly pale, but it could've been just the water and the pool's lights f*cking with my eyesight. But something I immediatly noticed something weird: I didn't hear that guy jump in the pool, nor did I hear him swimming. With the exception of the sound of my own swimming, it was dead quiet.

I thought that maybe I was just too distracted and didn't notice, so I kept swimming. I take my breath and when I look again, the guy's gone. I looked around in the pool as I got closer and closer to the end of that lap and there was nobody. As soon as I got to the edge, I got out of the pool and checked if someone was around. Nobody. The floor everywhere was also dry, so nobody but me entered or left the pool. I felt really creeped out, so I changed back into my school uniform and got out of the pool as fast as I could. My friends laugh at the story, but when I told the coach about it, he acted weird, like he knew something, but never spoke of it again.

The other one happened at sea. I was 17 at the time and travelled to Cabo Frio (in Rio de Janeiro - I'm Brazilian) with a few friends to catch some waves. At the time, I was really into bodyboarding, as were my friends. We spent 5 days there and every single day was spent on the beach.

On our last day, a swell came up and we caught some pretty big ones. The beach we were in had some sand banks pretty far into the water, where the bigger waves usually showed up. Logically, we were there. Problem was that everything after that sand bank was open sea. The beach we were bodyboarding at had a sideways current, so we never had to worry about being pulled far into the ocean if we didn't go too far in. But, as I said, it was a swell day. The current was getting pretty strong and people were leaving the water because the waves were getting scary and the sun was setting.

Being the stupid and overconfident teens we were, we didn't take the hint to leave. It didn't help that the sideways current took us pretty far from where most people were.

Eventually, we were just waiting for a final bunch of waves, so we could leave the water and take the bus back home. Except the waves never came. The current got really strong out of nowhere and all 3 of us were being violently dragged into the open sea. We were absolutely terrified. The sun was about to set and there we were, getting closer and closer to not being rescued.

And then, something pushed us. Not like a current, but something. I could feel this weird texture, like kelp and scales pushing my legs and my feet forwards and my friend Luis screamed that he felt like someone was pulling his board towards the coast. Whatever it was, it was strong, because in no time, we were at the sand bank and immediately, there was a huge wave, which we rode till we reached the sand.

When we came out of the water, we were all shaking, terrified of what could've just happened. Whatever it was that threw us towards a wave, we were very thankful. Nobody talked much when we walked back to the bus station. Whenever me and these two friends meet, we mention this story and laugh it off, but I always wonder what happened.

I'm a pretty skeptic guy and not at all religious, but I really can't explain what happened to me in these two occasions.

I have a few other stories, if anyone wants to hear.

16. From PM_ME_YER_TITTAYS:

A group of mates and I saw a bunch of moving lights in the thick of the woods we were camping in, quite some ways up in the air, moving with ease when doing so should be impossible. It was admittedly dark, and I do feel that there is a rational explanation, but I could never figure it out.

Also, and I am not a big believer in things spiritual at all, I was in NZ when my Granddad passed in the UK and I felt it, for lack of a better phrase. I immediately text my Dad to check in on him as he was receiving the call saying he had just passed. It was expected and probably a coincidence, but it brought my Dad some peace at least.

17. From boomhickey19:

A long while back, when I was living with my first girlfriend, my mom came to visit. One morning while they were in the kitchen, I was sleeping in, was in that state of half awake / half asleep, and could hear them talking in the kitchen. As I'm lying there, in that state of twilight, I start dreaming I'm on a beach, like a cold, North Atlantic beach, like the coast of Ireland or England, with a rocky shore instead of sand, and I can hear the footsteps of someone coming closer to me.

I'm listening to my GF and my mother in the kitchen, and at the same time I'm listening to this man approach. The whole time, I could tell the man had a sense that he could see me as well, and then the footsteps get right up to me, and I hear them stop. Then there's a pause, and then sonofabitch if I don't feel his hand on my arm.

And I sit straight up, freaked the f*ck out, and I sweat to God I felt the lingering sensation of a hand, as if it had just had a hold of my forearm lingering. Never told anyone about this.

I often wonder if, one morning, a fisherman out in Ireland was out on the beach and somehow saw me in the mists, then reached out to see if I was real.

18. From Actual80YrOld:

When I was growing up my family lived in a small two bedroom trailer. My older sister and I had one room while my parents shared the other. My mom was convinced that it was haunted. From her bed she could see an old reclining chair in the living room. Some nights she would suddenly wake up and see an old man sitting in it, staring out the window.

She'd always wake my dad up and send him to go investigate. He'd stomp in the room, and turn the empty chair around. This apparently happened quite a bit. I believe my sister also used to claim to see a old man standing in her closet. She was young enough that she doesn't remember much so I don't have any more story there.

Mom also swore that some days she'd hear giggling and see a little blonde girl running down the hallway. At first she'd always assume it was me and go to investigate only to find the house empty. We moved out of that trailer after a few years.

I didn't know anything about this until years later when I was in college. One of my childhood friends and I were hanging out at my parents place when a paranormal show came on. My dad made a joke about the wife in the show always sending her husband to investigate noises in the middle of the night before following it up with "who does that sound like". After some prodding I got my mom to tell the story. She sticks by her story and believes to this day that, while the girl's spirit was friendly, the old man seemed malicious.

If the story stopped there I'd say it could just be my mom having an overactive imagination. However, my friend seemed freaked out by the story. She asked my parents where the trailer was (we lived in a small village so it wasn't hard to pinpoint) and it turns out that one of her brother's best friends bought the trailer from the older couple that my parents had sold the place to. The whole family swore the place was haunted. They always talked about how a spirit of an old man would sit in a chair in the living room and stare out the window. The trailer passed through a number of different hands before burning down a few years ago.

I have a few other weird stories but this one is by far the hardest for me to explain.

19. From VastTrust:

When I was about 10, I was hanging out with my younger brother (8 at the time) and our neighbor (also 8M) in our house on a normal Saturday afternoon. It was starting to get dark outside and we had the brilliant thought to break out the new Ouija Board my brother had gotten as a present recently. We went upstairs to my brother's room, turned off the lights and drew the curtains, and unboxed the Ouija Board which was glow-in-the-dark.

Growing up, my brother had 3 small paintings hung on his wall which were depictions of winter, summer, and fall-- had been hung solidly for at least 6 years when this story takes place (this is important later). We started messing around with the Ouija Board, with one of us kids obviously pulling on one end of the planchette to manipulate answers.

Eventually, we asked, "are there any spirits here?" and the planchette moved to "yes" with no obvious manipulation from any of the 3 of us. This was kinda spooky, so we asked "do you want us to stop?" and the planchette moved to "yes" again. Immediately after this, the painting on the far left inexplicably falls off the wall and the glass on it cracks. We freak out, turn on the lights, my mom comes upstairs and reassures us that it's fine, there are no malevolent ghosts, just a coincidence, whatever.

We calm down, my mom leaves to continue making dinner, and we kinda shrug and turn the lights back off to continue playing with the Ouija Board. We keep asking it questions and getting nonsense answers until we ask "are you angry?" The planchette moves to "yes" with no pulling from anyone, right as the painting right next to the one that JUST fell off the wall ALSO inexplicably falls to the ground, this time shattering the glass.

This made us fully freak out, mom comes upstairs and puts the Ouija Board away, and I have literally never played with one since. Our house was old but there was no other paranormal kind of activity, nor do I really "believe" in ghosts or anything but this experience was just too strange and creepy to explain. The paintings continued to hang just fine for years after that.

20. From MEJakeCos:

About 25 years ago my mother got an envelope in the mail. There was no return address, it just simply said “Florida”. At the time, we didn’t know anybody living in Florida and we were living over 1000 miles away.

When she opened the envelope, she found a baby picture of herself. Attached was a note that said “I think you sent this by mistake”. She insisted that the photo had been stored away years earlier into a box in the basement closet, along with hundreds of other old photos. She never took it out, let alone sent it to anyone. To this day she never found out what exactly had happened and how the random person in Florida had gotten our address.

"What is a home without children. Quiet."

-Henny Youngman

If having your kids at home 24/7 is driving you crazy, you're not alone. Anyone who is homeschooling their kids right now will definitely relate to these hilarious memes.

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Remember "dates"? Ah, the good old days, when you could meet someone in a public place, sit closer than 6 feet apart, get to know each other over drinks or dinner, and leave sorely disappointed.

Someone asked Reddit to share their worst date horror stories. Here are 25 people dishing on their worst dates ever and they might make you grateful to be stuck in quarantine:

1.) From turbo_loadstone:

I date online. I went to a girls house for the first meeting. I felt this was a strange request on her part, It turns out she was awaiting trial and was under house arrest for killing her husband. I couldn't get out of there fast enough

She was forced to tell me after I noticed the tracker on her ankle. I'm not sure whether or not she was ever going to say anything otherwise. I was told a very detailed story and it was apparently some sort of accident. Didn't matter, screeching tires were heard that evening.

2.) From cupcak3bak3r:

I met a guy who said he wanted to make me dinner, 19yo me thought this was a sweet idea. when we got to his house I had to pee. I used his bathroom and when I came out he was naked on the couch and said, "dinner's served!" I told him I wasn't hungry anymore and left.

3.) From [deleted]:

Went to a restaurant with a guy I met online. He seemed like a really good guy and we actually hit it off really well. We were sharing a dessert and having a nice time, until his fiancee came over and dumped a drink all over him. She started screaming about how she loved him and how she couldn't believe he'd gone behind her back. She was out to dinner with her mother at the same restaurant, apparently their plans had changed and he had no clue she would even be in town. He left me at the table, running out after her and her mother, who was screaming profanities at me from across the restaurant. I was nearly in tears trying to explain to the waiter (and really anyone who would listen, they had made quite a scene) that I had NO idea that he was engaged. And then, because he had left, I got stuck with the bill.

Twist: after the whole incident, he tried to go out with me again. He claimed they had broken up. I managed to find him on facebook and learned that they were still together, so I sent her a message with a screenshot of the text where he had asked me out again. I told her I was really sorry that she was dating such a scumbag, and that she could do better.

So she and I ended up talking, and now we've actually become casual friends and go out to lunch on occasion. And he's still a scumbag with an active OKcupid.

4.) From CardinalXim:

Took my girlfriend out for a nice lunch, assured her she didn't need to bring her purse. Both my cards got rejected. She had to walk all the way back to her house, get her purse, come back and pay for the lunch while I sat there and felt like dying.

5.) From OhILikeThyat:

I went out with this guy and we ordered the exact same drink. He somehow got shitfaced while I remained sober. I guess he didn't drink that much. Anyways, he started acting completely obnoxious, being way to affectionate towards me, trying to kiss me on the cheek and putting his hand on my thigh. I got up to go to the bathroom and he said "Wait, I have to tell you a secret first!". He leaned in like he was going to whisper something to me...and then...he licked my ear. I left. He followed me to the train and kept begging for a goodnight kiss. He still comes into my work all the time, and when my boss sees him walk in, she actually lets me leave and go to the McDonalds next door until he leaves.

6.) From thatkid12:

One time had a guy call me into the bathroom and try to force me watch him take a piss. Fucking weird

7.) From color_thine_fate:

I once went on a first date with a chick, and ended up having dinner with her mom and autistic brother, after helping her mom move crap around their house. And I was asked by her mom to spend the night, at which point I was expected to have relations with the daughter.

8.) From ASubtlePickle:

A girl I took a class with told me about a meetup with a guy she met online. She invited him to her workplace so that they'd meet in a public area with other people around. He texted her from the parking lot and asked if she had any napkins or tissues that she could bring to him. Apparently he felt the need to "take care of business" prior to seeing her but had no way of cleaning himself up.

She brought him some napkins and told him she never wants to see him around again.

9.) From [deleted]:

Met a guy online. A little older than I would have liked, but I didn't think anything of it. I figured hey, it's just coffee, if anything goes badly I always have a bail. I get there, and the dude is a guido. An older guido. Fake tan that makes him look like a leather wrapped mummy, balding, bling, shirt open to show off chest hair, the works. Alright, I think it would be rude to stand him up, it's just coffee, and then I can bail.

Guy has a child he's never mentioned, keeps insisting on buying me more coffee drinks (watched those like a hawk, but he never slipped anything into them), goes on about how he's retired (he said he was employed full time), and how he wants ten more children (wtf!?).

I start hedging out of there, claiming I need to go meet a friend somewhere to help them with something (at this point I was about to claim my cat was on fire to escape), when he grabs my arm and tries to convince me to go home with him.

I dropped his arm on the table fairly hard, apologized when he let go in pain, and then dashed. That was the creepiest asshole I ever met. Thankfully I gave him a google number, not my real number, so I just disabled that number and never heard from him again.

10.) From enfermedad:

To anyone else considering online dating but scared off by OP's story: Have your first meeting in a public place! Can't stress this enough, I've never had a problem with online dating yet.

11.) ​​​​​​​From Hairnester:

So I met this guy at a party for a friend of a friend. I'm pretty shy so I ended up kind of hanging out in a corner by myself and met a guy who was also a friend of a friend of the host. He was pretty cute and funny so we spent most of the night talking and the subsequent few days texting and calling each other on and off. Finally, he invited me out on a date to go horse back riding.

Cool, I love horses. I'm down.

We live in a bigger city so we have to drive for about 1.5 hour to get to the place where he boards his horses. On the way there we chat and generally bullshit until we're about 15 minutes away, then he gets really quiet. I take this as him getting tired of driving and just enjoy the music and scenery.

We get to the place and he literally hops out of the truck before he even puts it in park and RUNS towards the stable calling his horse's name. I put the car in park thinking that it's been forever since he's seen her and he really loves his horse. I follow him to where he goes and he's in the stable feeding her carrots and lovingly stroking her nose. He gives me a carrot and shows me how hold my hand to feed her and instructs me to give her a carrot. The horse eyeballs me, turns her head and walks away.

Whatever. Whorse.

He loans me a horse to ride and we go on a mini ride and picnic. Any time he got close enough to touch me or hold my hand his horse would "mysteriously" veer away from me. After we're done we pile into the truck and make the drive home.

About a mile and a half from my exit, he asked me what I thought of his horse. I said she was cool and I thought she was beautiful. Then he dropped a bomb on me.

He said he was having sex with his horse. And that they were "in love". The only reason he was dating was because he knew he was going to die before her. He told me that if we were to date that I was not to make him choose because he would ALWAYS choose her first and that she was his priority. In other words, I would be second fiddle to a horse.

I've had some pretty awful dates, but if I ever top that one I'm joining a convent.

12.) ​​​​​​​From nights_captain:

Posted before, but was late to the party.

A year after the loss of my last SO (hit by a drunk driver), I decided it was time for me to try to start dating again. I met a girl on okcupid and from our long conversations over instant messenger, I felt that we had clicked well enough to meet in person. Like many others here that have done online dating, my "partner" only had a couple of images on her profile that were angled so you really couldn't figure out her body type. Since I was a broke college student, we were just going to go window shopping at the mall. I'm sitting outside Hot Topic and these two VERY large women approach me. The larger of the two kindof looks like the girl I was supposed to be on a date with. It turns out the pics online were from 2 years ago and she became MUCH bigger than imagined. She had brought her friend along as back-up. I figured her friend would go do other things while we hung around. NOPE! She would follow us all evening, staying within a 10 foot radius. Now, this friend would not shut up about how much she LOVED Twilight and how she was on Team something or other. I didn't give a shit, and I just wanted to talk with this girl I thought I'd hit it off with. Eventually, we were outside and they were smoking. I have weak lungs, and I told her this before we met in person, so I was making sure the wind was blowing away from me. Her friend says that because I don't smoke, I wasn't "cool" and that the girl should just cut her losses. As we're going back inside, I pull the girl to the side and asked her why her friend came along. Her response was, "Oh, she's the High Priestess of my vampire coven and she wanted to see if you would make a good recruit." I turned and walked away.

TL;DR Have a date who brings her High Priestess vampire friend to convert me and join her coven.

13.) ​​​​​​​From beyerch:

Yeah...

We went out to a nice restaurant that she liked. (2nd date) We had a nice dinner and everything was good. Check came, I paid with my debit card. It was declined. (apparently, there was an issue with my direct deposit and a fair amount of money didn't get into my bank which had no noticed)

Ok, here's my credit card that I carry just in case. ummmmmmmm Where's my credit card?!?!?!?! (I had just went on a trip and cleaned out my wallet, credit card sitting on desk at home)

Checkbook? That's at home too.

Cash? Who the hell carries cash?

After sheepishly explaining the situation and promising to pay her back ASAP, she paid.

Walked out to the car and found ..... no car. After calling around, discovered the car was towed!?!?! (Towing company was overly aggressive and towed my car when they shouldn't have)

Took a cab to the towing yard. No money, she had to pay for cab.

Got into argument with ignorant tow truck guys who refused to release my car even though it was parked properly and we had restaurant receipts to prove it, etc. $125. She had to pay.

Worst date ever for me.....

Interesting post-date tidbits

• She was a trooper and we're married now, lol

• I always now carry 3 ways to pay, that just isn't happening again.

• We ended up buying a house in the town where the tow truck company is

• The tow truck company mysteriously burned down one night. I had NOTHING to do with that, but I could definitely see someone torching that place, though my theory is they burned it down for insurance money...

A few more post-date tidbits I forgot ...

• Cab drove us right by the house we ended up buying when we moved into that town (though we didn't know it at the time)

• A couple weeks after my car got towed, the mall/building got rid of the towing company and opened the whole thing up due to all of the 'false towings' happening.

14.) From sneezingunicorn:

I was having coffee with a guy, when he leaned in, looked me in the eyes and nearly whispered "I thought about you when I masturbated yesterday."

15.) ​​​​​​​From shatonamime:

Worst date I ever had, was actually like, my first date ever. It was super awkward asking her out, but I told her, I'd never asked a girl out before. We made the plans together and we were meeting up for lunch at a burger place. I pay for the meal, we sit down and I begin to eat my food. She barely eats anything, telling me she ate before hand. You know....because when you're meeting someone for lunch you don't want to sit there eating with them. She then talks about her job at starbucks, and how she spits in drinks and gives rude people who ask for decaf regular caffeinated coffee. Other gross things like, picking her nose and putting it in the food and just, blech. I was not laughing or in anyway acting interested in this topic.

She also decides to remind me, we will not be having sex. This is my first date with a girl ever. I told her this, she knows this. Yet, she felt the need to say this. As if some how I was giving her the signals that I needed to do her right then and there at this burger place? She checks her phone multiple times, texts people and seems to be having a more interesting conversation with someone else.

She goes on about how ugly and fat she is. Which she wasn't, I know some women do tend to have self-esteem issues. I now know though, she did this in excess for a date. I tried to tell her different, but I think she honestly lost respect me for me because I found her attractive.

She talks about how badly she wants to date some celebrity, idk who, we'll say Michael Cera for the hell of it. How cute is, how she wants to marry him. I'm just basically feeling like, I'm not in anyway talking to a real person. Like, this seemed like the plot of a Kate Hudson movie or something.

I was pretty well convinced this was not going to work. So, the date ends, and it actually was pretty short. I think it was only an hour or so, but it felt like so much longer. After that, she was still texting me and trying to go out with me, but I just couldn't. This date only feels worse and worse each time I think of it. As being my first date, I didn't think how bad it was till I went on more. Then I realized what a horrible date she was being.

16.) ​​​​​​​From TheDaliTrauma:

A classmate set me up with her sister. I saw a picture. She was a really hot blonde girl. We decided to meet for coffee. She showed up in full skinhead girl regalia and I figured she was a traditional or rude girl kind of skinhead girl. Ten minutes into our conversation she told me, "I'm really glad you're white. From your picture I thought you might be part beaner or something." I put down two dollars for my coffee, said "fuck you", and left. Her sister, my classmate went out of her way to avoid me the following week, but then later apologized. She said she had no idea that her sister was that fucked up.

17.) From one_day_atatime:

Didn't happen to me, but a friend. This is too good of an opportunity to pass up though.

So this girl friend of mine goes on a date with this guy we met in high school at a state cross country meet. She figures everything will be alright, because she's known him for a few years. They go out to dinner, and go back to her place to watch a movie, cause they're broke college seniors. Anyways, while they're watching TV, this guy just looks over at her and says "Hey, do you mind if I jack off?" At this point, they haven't even kissed or anything. Not even held hands. Just awkward sauce first date space between them.

Of course, she says no, you can't and laughs because she doesn't think this guy is serious. Turns out, he was. He just whips it out, and starts masturbating right in front of her - moaning and the whole shebang. She laughs, because she's so very nervous. To make it worse, it goes everywhere when he's done, including her hair. She stood up, looked at him, and said "Can you please leave now?" and opened the door for him before running to take a shower. Apparently, he thought this was cool and said something along the lines of "I'll catch ya later."

Worst. First. Date. Ever.

18.) From freightboy:

I had a blind date with a woman and everything went amazingly well. We were on the same wavelength on everything and had one of the greatest nights of my life.

A couple of days later, we went out on a second date. As dinner ended, she looked at me and said that she was having a great time and really liked me. In fact, she said that she liked me enough to know that I was the one and that she wanted to know how serious I was about our relationship.

I was sort of stunned, then looked at her and reminded her that we were on our second date. She said that our ages (we were both mid-30s at the time) we knew enough to know what we were getting in to. She wanted to have a family and have kids, and she did not want to wait. She said that I was the one she wanted to have her kids with.

I sat there dumbstruck. When I didn't answer immediately, she pushed again. I just said that we should take it slowly and see what happened. She erupted, saying that she didn't have time for that and needed to move quickly. When I was still too dumbstruck to speak, she started flipping out in the restaurant. She stormed out, screaming at me.

I got a call from the woman that set us up asking what happened and why the woman was "heartbroken." I tried to explain, but I am not sure she really believed me, or at least not enough to try to set me up with anyone else.

19.) From murderdeathsquid:

My friend set me up on a blind date with this woman. She ended up being cute and fun, we were having a blast. Two bars, a few pitchers,and a bunch of shots later she told me she loved me. It should have been a warning sign but we started hooking up and I let it go. We get into her truck and she asks me where we are going I suggested her place since I lived at home with my parents*at the time. She went ballistic she said her stepbrother was looking for us and was going to kill us. She slams the truck into reverse and then starts speeding around town. She stops the truck says she is sorry and we start hooking up again then she goes crazy and slams on the gas and starts to the scream "whip it out faggot show me what you got faggot" while punching the dash. This goes on for about 20 minutes until she stops again and starts begging for forgiveness. I took the chance to jump out of the truck and run away. I called my friend who set us up and made him pick me up at three in the morning.

20.) From [deleted]:

• Guy showed up high on meth

• Listed everything he wanted in a relationship

• Got pissed when I didn't respond to his 30 predate texts; assumed I was ignoring him if I didn't reply back within a certain time frame

• Invited me to Vegas with his Dad ......yeah..worst firstdate ever.

21.) From UncleFungus:

I met a female on Plenty of Fish and we dated for a year. I broke up with her when she posted some personal things on FB. She later broke into my house, and among other things, put what i believe was a caustic cleaning product into a bottle of vodka and a bottle of personal lubricant. Oh, and she trashed my laptop. She lied and told the cops that she lived there and was trying to get her things.

22.) From ceemikeytee:

One time I met a girl online, and for our first date we went bowling after a cheap dinner. Well, as we're bowling, my dinner began to not sit well with me, and I had to run to the bathroom. Before I can get my sexy first date jeans off, I proceed to poop myself a little bit. I was able to make a save for most of it, but I certainly pooped on my pants and leg. I was able to make a hasty cleanup operation in that bowling alley bathroom - enough so that I could proceed with the date without too much suspicion.

I didn't tell her this until more than a year after this date.

Three months ago, we got married.

I wish I could say this was the only time that I've pooped myself in her presence throughout our courtship

23.) From Bliumchik:

Sadly, my boyfriend tells our first date story in this category. I have a lot of social anxiety issues, especially around touching, mostly due to lack thereof.

We'd both expressed interest in each other but I wasn't sure it was worth the emotional effort, but then we were the only ones of our friends who showed up to a rock concert. Later I walked him home thinking, y'know, this is nice, I'm kind of into this, and then he tries to kiss me and I literally just panic and go stiff as a board and say "eep."

He backs off and is like "okay... nevermind?" and I just blurt out "Maybe try this again when I am drunker?" Face palms all round.

But hey it's been two and a half years and going strong, so you never know.

24.) ​​​​​​​From TunedDownGuitar:

Took a girl out to a nice expensive dinner and we had a great time. I felt a real connection. After dinner was over (in which she only had one glass of wine) I asked her what she wanted to do since it was still early. She said "Let's go to a bar! I know of a good place!". I followed her lead and drove us to a bar out of town. Immediately she orders two jagerbombs and a jack and coke. She downs the two jagerbombs one after another and in the time it took me to let the head settle on my Guinness she had finished the jack and coke. This continued for the two or so hours we were there.

In the car ride back to her place she broke down and admitted she had a drinking problem and needed to go to rehab. Having friends in AA/NA/etc. I offered to put her in touch with them so she could go to meetings (I even offered to take her to/from them but not sit in on the meetings), she outright refused and said "I NEED REHAB" and got angry. Pulled up at her house and she almost jumped into my lap trying to get me to come inside saying "My parents are asleep so we'll have to be quiet". Calmly told her no and that I would text her the next day. She gets out of the car sulking and walks inside.

Bullet. Dodged.

When you're watching a movie scene, no matter how simple it looks, chances are hours of preparation and thousands of dollars went into creating it.

A recent Reddit thread asked people who've worked on film sets to share the secrets and tricks of the trade. Their answers make filmmaking seem even more mysterious.

1. There's a lot of doing nothing.

I'm a Script Supervisor, which means the majority of my work is done days before shooting starts, and then I watch the shoot with the directors to catch continuity errors, and then after wrap I have reports to write. During the entire process of scene transition (which is the most time-consuming part), there is nothing for me to do. I don't mind this, because I like downtime and am really good at entertaining myself. Also film sets usually have at least a few cool crew members to shoot the bull with (I almost always make friends with the sound guys).

And then its reversed if you're a grip or camera assistant. Busy as hell during setup, but as soon as rolling starts (unless you're operating a dolly or otherwise directly assisting the director of photography) theres nothing to do but hang out, eat snacks, and be super quiet if you're anywhere near the set. - remnant_phoenix

2. Acting might seem exciting, but it mostly consists of sitting around.

Actors have the most boring job on Earth. They just hang around all day, they're on their phones or their laptop, just bored out of their minds. Then they have to go into makeup and that takes hours. I mean, even for a really natural face, cos God forbid the Key Make Up Artist isn't happy with every damn pore. And the actor isn't in much of a hurry so that trailer is just a black hole of time sucking. SFX make up? Oh God just take the whole morning. We'll be hanging around on set just waiting, whilst the DP bitches to anyone who's forced to listen. DPs are just the crankiest, most negative people, just huge pains in the ass. - Johnnyboysmole

3. Getting the motivation to go from boredom to action is rough, too.

[When] the scene starts, the actor has to go from 0 - 100. From basically being horizontal with boredom to this whole animated other person. That's when they earn their money, cos God knows I couldn't do it. Or not - more actors are actually kinda shit than great. A lot of people treading water cos they're in their 40s and never finished school and literally have no other option. But some really try their best to absolutely explode when needed. It's really hard though. I never ever once envied them, even the rich ones. It looked to me like a really shitty job. - Johnnyboysmole

4. Don't be too impressed by actors crying on cue. They have help.

Nobody ever cries on cue. Or cries real tears. They either blow crystals into their eyes just before Action that irritates the membranes so its basically an onion-cutting situation, or dab Tearstick on their fingers, so halfway through a scene they can raise their fingers to their eyes and BAM! their eyes start watering like mad. - Johnnyboysmole

5. Lighting is magic.

Once you realize that a LOT of lights go into making a shot’s lighting look good, you start analyzing the lighting in every shot you see. Ex: Does the moon reaaally give off that much light? If the only lamp (that we see) in the room is to the right, then how is the actor’s whole face lit? Hmm... - tallente

6. And most of the sounds you hear on film are added later.

Almost every sound except for some voices are captured or added in a studio and acting means alot of waiting. - barbamara

7. Anyone who pays extra for a signature kind of deserves this...

I once saw an intern forging our main actors autograph on like 200 posters as per the producers request. It was on a very popular show too. - Baker88

8. Fake cigarettes are a godsend on film sets.

Some movies have a tremendous amount of smoking in it. As a rule, nicotine-free herbal cigarettes are used. Otherwise, in order to shoot one scene where a character smokes, where many takes are often needed — it would do significant harm to the actor’s health. - LOUDCO-HD

9. I've also partaken in lunch and second-lunch many times... but then I also had dinner.

Our meals are called lunch and second lunch (not dinner) - Ask_Aspie_

10. Actors are wearing dirty clothes a lot of the time.

They usually don't wash the clothes to prevent fading. An actor can wear the same shirt for a few days or however long it takes to shoot the scene, go a few weeks and wear it again without it being washed. Usually they are sprayed with a mixture which is mostly vodka to keep them fresh. - Ask_Aspie_

11. Never look at the Kardashians.

My roommate is a set painter. He did backgrounds for show promos for the Kardashian's a while back. They showed up with a whole entourage and apparently you aren't allowed to look at them. He said it was all very strange. - Palindromer101

12. That glossy surface onscreen might just be wet.

oh boy when I worked at a filmshoot as behind the scenes photographer I was amazed by the fact that the big victorian dance scene's floor was kept shiny by pouring water all over it between shots so it stays mirror-glossy as it wasn't a polished surface and it being a listed building we haven't had the chance to polish it etc... - guy_with_his_hair

13. Expect long, long hours if you want to work in film.

The days can be incredibly long--I once worked from sunrise to following sunrise on a set, went home for four hours, and had to come back and do it again. - needaloveline

14. Attention to detail is everything.

Little details in a shot can have a lot of forethought behind them--I worked on a set that was supposed to take place in a hurricane. Despite the three wind machines, smoke machines, and other special effects, the director and FX team didn't feel like it was getting sold enough. They tied fishing wire to every window pane, and hid crew members just outside of the shot to get the panes to bang how they wanted. - needaloveline

15. Nothing is real on a film or TV set.

There can be a surprisingly high use of green screen, even for shots you wouldn't think need it (ex. interior wall behind a stationary shot of a character on the phone.) - Following_the_Sun

16. The lingo isn't always that creative.

When speaking with colleagues everything is referred to as a "Show". As in, "What show are you working on?" It doesn't matter if you're working on a movie, a TV show or a commercial. It is always referred as a "show". You never ask what movie are you working on, it's what show are you on? - BladeRunnerTHX

Your wedding's supposed to be your day — so what do you do when your pervy uncle shows up uninvited?

One bride decided to have her bridesmaid kick him out — but now she's wondering if she went too far. She took to Reddit for advice about the sticky situation.

The back story: her uncle hit on her fiancée at a family event in the past:

My wedding was a few months ago, and I deliberately didn't invite my uncle. He'd hit on my wife in a really weird way at a family event that year. (My wife and I are both women for the record)

In another comment, she added, "He actually was mainly hitting on my wife, but with a joke about a lesbian threesome. Including me. His blood relative." Blech.

So she was shocked when he showed up at the wedding:

And on my wedding day, there he is... I guess his brothers invited him along?

She deputized a friend to deal with it:

One of my friends is a total firecracker, she's brave as anything and not afraid to say what's on her mind. She and two other friends of mine were my bridesmaids and I was telling them about my uncle having shown up, before the ceremony.

She asked what I wanted them to do, they could kick him out, they could ignore him, or anything in between. I said that getting him out would be great. She asked if it would bother me if she drew attention to the whole mess. I said no.

The friend took the whole "making a scene" thing pretty seriously:

So she marched right up to this guy in the pews and told him in front of everyone "get the fuck out, you weren't invited for a reason." And he asked what the matter was, what was going on, and she went "you fucking know what you did, get your creepy incestous ass out of here or me and OPs family is getting you out". My other bridesmaids walked over with her but didn't say anything

She questioned the friend's approach for a sec, then got over it:

He left and I asked her later what the "incestous" comment was about, and she was like "Uhh he was trying to screw future family? Gross." And while I thought that was a little of an exaggeration I honestly put the whole thing out of my mind that day.

Her family, though, didn't take it so well:

But apparently that caused a whole lot of gossip and speculation and shit in my family. Some of my family members are also upset my friend told my uncle that my family would kick him out, when they would not do that.

[Am I the a-hole] for telling my friend she could kick my uninvited uncle out of the wedding?

It turns out no one can really agree on who was in the wrong here.

Some say that the bride, the uncle and the bridesmaid all handled it improperly.

According to happysapling:

[Everyone sucks here], mostly your bridesmaid in this particular situation, though.

I find that usually, when people ask anything along the lines of "if it would bother me if she drew attention to the whole mess"then they probably WANT to turn it into a show, or want an excuse to really show their a**.

The mature thing to do was tell him directly and firmly to leave. It sounds like you realize she took it a step too far, I'm sorry that all this happened altogether.

And ostentia agreed:

[Everyone sucks here]. You, not for kicking him out, but for giving your friend permission to turn your wedding into an episode of Jerry Springer. And your friend...if I were you, I'd be angry with her for ruining the wedding, to be honest. She couldn't have possibly picked a worse or more dramatic way to kick him out. Accusing him of being incestuous isn't even close to true, for one thing, and no shit it caused a whole lot of gossip and speculation. She also had no right to say that your family would help throw him out. Way, way, way too far. Like...I just can't fathom that this is how someone who's actually a good friend to you chose to handle this on your wedding day.

But people like Music_withRocks_In feel that the uncle should've expected it when he showed up unwanted:

He knew he wasn't invited. Don't show up to places you aren't invited and you won't get kicked out.

And bklynpeter argues that his showing up uninvited trumps any reaction it caused:

Was it a bit over the top? Yes. Should she have handled it better? Yes. But he is by far the primary a**hole, showing up to a wedding to which he wasn't invited, and he needed to be dealt with strongly.

Terpsichoriean_Wombat agrees:

He wasn't invited and had no business being there, and it sounds like he wasn't invited for a good reason. I think your friend could have handled this more diplomatically, but you didn't tell her to go over the top, and your uncle absolutely needed to leave.

There are a few important lessons here: Don't hit on your relative's spouse. Don't show up places un-invited. And don't give your "firecracker" friend permission to "make a scene" at your wedidng. Whew!

"Laughter is a sunbeam of the soul."

-Thomas Mann

Laughing will lift your spirits even in your darkest times. These memes are silly, goofy, and downright hilarious. This list is just what everyone needs to help start their day off on a positive note.

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It's not usually a surprise to find out that a lot of the over-the-top drama of reality television is staged...

Drunken fights, perfectly witty retorts, and mid-scream catchphrases are often created from the minds of drama-loving television producers. Many reality shows cast people who fit certain roles or "characters," and with enough alcohol, beach views and betrayal, even seemingly normal people can quickly turn into "the villain."

If you're a fan of reality television, you probably know that some of it is fake and it doesn't really deter you from loving it. When it's too real, it can hit a little too close to home...(remember when "The Bachelor" did an unedited breakup? No thanks!) However, finding out what happens behind the scenes is always pretty mind-blowing. When a recent reddit user asked, "Redditors who have been on reality TV shows, what was it like?" people who had their fifteen minutes of fame were ready to share.

1.

My girlfriend's brother won a season of The Cougar a while back (Bachelorette-type show but with a pretty somewhat older lady compared to the contestants). He said nothing is real, and everything is either scripted, re-shot, or edited to produce what the show wants to pass as the show.

For instance, in the last episode I believe, he and the cougar had dinner with his parents (also my girlfriend's parents), and it took them 6 hours of filming/acting like they were eating to produce approximately 2 minutes of footage. And that the final cut of the scene was just spliced bits of their actual conversation, which ended up being nothing like the conversations they actually had. - MacAndTheBoys

2.

My boss was on House Hunters. Spoiler: They have already signed off on the house they chose before the show even starts filming. The other two houses were literally just their friend's houses that they walked around and criticized according to what the producers told them they were supposed to be "looking for" ie; Jack is a marketing exec who needs a lot of closet space for his wacky shoe collection, and Jane is a stay at home mom who needs a big kitchen because she loves to entertain! - DolphinSweater

3.

I was on an episode of Celebrity Apprentice as a graphic/packaging designer (not one of the celebrities, of course). I worked with John Rich, Star Jones, Mark McGrath, and Lil Jon. The show itself is 100% unscripted, although the celebrities' reactions to events are sometimes "hammed up" when they know the cameras are rolling.

For example, John Rich said the words "St. Jude's Children Hospital" in practically every other sentence, because that's the charity he was competing for and wanted to make sure it got mentioned as often as possible on the show. It's not something he'd say as often in NORMAL conversation, but when there was a camera on him, he'd say it frequently.

Other than that, it was a lot of sitting around and watching them talk to each other. We were instructed to not create any designs or graphics unless the celebrities specifically told us what to do, and to ONLY create that. But everyone was very friendly (probably because 3 of the 4 had already been kicked off the show, so they weren't trying to win for themselves, just the team).

Lil Jon was my favorite. Totally down to earth, level-headed guy. I was working on one of the designs they requested, and he leans over my shoulder, looks at the screen and says "Yeah man, that sh*t's gangsta." Unfortunately, that part didn't make it onto the episode's final cut. - eightballart

4.

I was on the bachelor in one of the earlier seasons. I signed a pretty hefty confidentiality agreement, so I will not say who I am or what season I was on, just for safety, you know. As most would guess, pretty much everything you actually see on tv is totally fake, but parts of the show are really sincere.

From the beginning, many of the occupations that are listed are totally fake. Mine happened to be my true occupation, but they would have some 24 year old girls being "doctors" and "psychologists" when in reality they had just graduated and were only coming on the show because it was easy money. Most of the girls who were eliminated in the first couple of shows were actresses from LA, especially the "crazies". I mean, they aren't going to pay all of that money to send girls all the way across the country for 1 night.

All of the cocktail parties were majorly faked. The little "cute gifts" were almost always ideas from the producers. Parties would be held near 2 or 3 in the morning and we were encouraged/coerced into drinking as much as we could in order to be more emotional. In the beginning we were told to choose a personality trait that we would stick to and we would be that character. Usually it would be a natural quality we had that would just be embellished. For example, I was the "mediator."

When we would have our interviews, we were told to answer in complete sentences. Those answers would be intensely manipulated. Like, I was once asked if I was in love with the bachelor. I said "I am definitely NOT in love with the bachelor." On tv it said "I am in love." There were little things like that, mostly producers making a good story, which did not bother me very much.

The thing that bothered me the most were the group dates. Those were the fakest of them all. Every one on one conversation during group dates was scripted/half scripted. It is NEVER about having fun. No one ever had fun at all. Controversies would always be fake. Honestly, most of the girls were indifferent to each other. Some became friends from it, but it was like college. Most people talk to their roommates and are annoyed by them at some points, but overall we were pretty indifferent to each other. There were only about 8-10 girls who would actually be considered serious matches for the bachelor, and only like 4 of them actually considered it a means to finding a husband/love. No one took it very seriously.

I will say that the one on one dates were usually pretty sincere, mine were at least. Emotions are usually real towards the end, but you know, the producers like to plant ideas in your head about love and stuff. So I will not say the falling in love was totally fake, but it was definitely embellished or manipulated to seem like more. I got kicked off 2 episodes before home towns, so I don't know everything that goes on behind the scenes there.

Ask any other questions if there is something I didn't go over! - agirlfromthebachelor

5.

I worked with a woman who was on Hoarders a while back. She wasn't the "hoarder", but a professional organizer, which she does part time anyway. Apparently it was quite an experience. The guy they were "helping" had a house full of junk, just like you see on the show, as well as an apartment and a storage unit full of trash. The show refused to clean anything other than the house- not really helping is it?
They did paid the guy $5,000 for dragging his dirty laundry out on television (pun intended?), which is pretty nice, but my organizer friend said they really didn't do much else for him other than clean up his house. The therapist they had on the show was really pretty rude and it was clear that everything was more or less for the cameras. So viewers could watch someone be horrified at the mess, the show flew this guy's cousin in. She was drunk the ENTIRE TIME, starting in the morning when filming began, and was extremely rude to the cleanup crew. Apparently she did a lot of sitting off to the side, drinking her "coffee" and shouting insults at the crew.
My friend loves what she does- cleaning and organizing is a real talent for her and she makes a modest income helping people who have to clean a house after a loved one dies or some such event. But she hated working on that show. -blandrice123

6.

I realize that this is not going to be a shock to anyone that's ever seen the show before... but, having attended a taping of "The Jerry Springer Show," I can tell you that there is no such thing as a spontaneous audience reaction whatsoever. No one says or does anything that isn't being prompted by crew members just off-camera. We literally had a guy off-shot who was motioning for us to "ooooohhh" or "booooooo" the entire time.

As fake as it looks to you on TV, it looks 1000 times faker when you're watching it unfold in front of you. - Chastain86

7.

My sister's friend was chosen to be on Catfish (but producers chose someone else). It's basically all planned out. The person that was "catfished" had to get permission from the person who was the catfish. So they already know who it was from the start. - Bluelilly582

8.

My co-worker's brother was on Hardcore Pawn. It was totally 100% scripted. He was just in the shop looking around and they liked the way he looked and asked him if he wanted to be on the show. They told him to come back the next day, gave him a whole scenario to act out and told him what to say. He said he had a blast though, the people were actually pretty cool and he liked hanging out with them in between takes. -breezy84

9.

I was on Wheel of Fortune in 2002, I believe. With the exception of producers constantly telling you to look more excited and be louder, it's pretty much how it looks. Contestants play a real game and home to win. The studio audience is asked to be quiet (via lights and such) during game time, but otherwise can react how they want. There were no re-takes or anything. - brulosopher

10.

Cousin was on a cooking reality show a few years ago.

1. Yeah, it's real... Sort of. Mostly. Sometimes. The people are real, at least. Mostly human, some filler. The scenes aren't often what really happened.

2. Drama is what they want. Two hours of normal interaction is cut and spliced to make it seem like a completely madhouse.

3. Personality counts for a lot. You can be the best chef ever, but they need you to be an asshole, or a diva, or something that gets people interested. Otherwise, you're not even getting on screen.

4. That diva on the show? She's really nice. The asshole? He's really nice. The princess? She's nice, too. Everyone is really nice, but not 24/7, and it's those few moments of "being annoyed", or "upset that the fruit isn't where it was last", or "crap, I dropped a spatula" that are inflated and used to define a personality. My cousin is pretty f*cking smart at business, travels to Asia all the time to make deals, and is just very quiet and reserved normally, but put on a personality of a brash wanna-be cook for the show. He was made out to be a crazy duffus instead.

5. Everything will be edited for max drama. Producers will ask you to re-do scenes, will give you lines, and will point-blank make up a scenario for you to act out, because it looks "better" on screen.

6. Some of the best drama is cut, because it doesn't fit the narrative they want.

It's "reality", but it's not that real.- twilightmoons

11.

I was on Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. Overall, it was a very cool experience. They called me, I went in for a 30 minute audition, and a week later we filmed the episode. To answer the question everyone asks.. no, I was not smarter than a 5th grader. BUT, if anyone's watched any recent episodes, they changed the format so you HAVE to answer every question. I got the second to last "2nd Grade animal science" question wrong.
The most annoying part was that technically, my answer was correct, but when you sign all that paperwork the morning of, you give the producer final rights to determine "the correct answers to any questions." Basically, they can arbitrarily decide if an answer is right or wrong.

Here's the question that ended up being worth $23,500, good luck: "True or False: Lions are native only to Africa." - skw3rtle

12.

Not really what you're asking but I applied to be on say yes to the dress Atlanta and was accepted. At first I was super excited. But then they told me they pay for nothing. Not your flight, not your hotel. They don't pay you to be on the show. They don't even give you a discount on the dress (all of which are thousands of dollars.) on top of it all you're not guaranteed to make the final cut of a show. I ended up turning them down. I was disappointed but I couldn't really afford it, especially when I'm obviously already paying for an upcoming wedding. - hugitoutguys

13.

A friend of a friend (yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds) was on Biggest Loser and made it til the end (but did not win). Everything that is fake about that show is well documented on the interwebs, but when she told me they were only allowed 800 calories a day with all the workouts they were doing? Crazy! Apparently colonics helped a contestant win their season too - not sure if that was sanctioned by the trainers or producers, though.

I stopped being inspired by that show when I found out what a load of crap it was. Not that it's ever healthy to lose that much weight that fast anyway... - CheezItzAreYummy

14.

Not me but my best buddy from high school, who is phenomenally talented (will most likely be on Broadway), went to audition for American Idol. He was one of the last people to audition. He didn't make it to Simon/Paula/Randy crew as there are a few screening judging rooms. But when he auditioned they told him "We have found enough talent. Thanks for auditioning though. You were amazing." - BaconStorf

15.

I was on Four Weddings Canada last year. It's not really reality per say it's more just filming someones wedding and you just go about your day as normal. They did some side interviews and made everyone sign waivers but generally you didn't even notice the crew. The bride told me that they made her choose a side when doing "confessions" about the other weddings. Essentially she wasn't allowed to be neutral and was forced to pick weddings she liked and ones she didn't. If I recall as well there was an African American couple and where the bride was told to act as if she was "the villian" and she did. - Gravey9

16.

I work for a network where reality tv is its bread and butter. I can't speak for ALL shows mind you, but as far as reality "docu" (think like Keeping Up with the Ks or something like that) I wouldn't say so much that its "scripted." Its more that the producers create a few storylines that they want to play out throughout the season and then the cast react accordingly. Of course these people definitely up the ante on their behavior for the cameras because they see how successful some reality stars can be, and there is heavy heavy editing but its much more along the lines of "so and so is having a dinner party and inviting the rest of the cast over and you will talk about the fight you got into" and not actually feeding specific lines or actions. - smallkitten

17.

Was on a big talent show a few years ago. It was a blast! The hours on set were grueling (tons of hurry up and wait), and a lot of folks would lose their shit due to being cooped up for so long.

The interviews were absurd. You were basically spoon-fed your lines, recorded over and over and over for subtle differences. We actually recorded our reaction to losing the round and one for winning the round at the start of the filming week!

The reason I had a blast was because I was surrounded by truly kooky characters. Everyone was the top of their art, so you could get opera lessons, learn magic tricks, goof around with contortionists, and such. I learned how to throw playing cards across a room with accuracy!

Then, after shooting ended each day, everyone would get a per diem and get unleashed on the city. We were put up in super posh hotel suites for the weeks, so me and my buddies lived it up. Partying with crews that had totally wholesome family images was hilarious. Some took it very seriously, and they were the ones always on edge and bickering with each other. Our group just took it as a chance to party and show off our stupid skill...and we kept winning round after round! So much fun, i'd do it again in a heartbeat. Oh man...the partying... - [deleted]

18.

My cousin's boyfriend was on one of those tattoo cover up shows and they basically told him the story he was going to tell on why he got the tattoo and why he wanted it covered up. He had to audition for a few people and made it to the last audition but was never called back to actually be on the show and get a cover up. - Waronmymind