“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
—Steve Martin
Everyone needs a reason to laugh and here are 25 of them. This hilarious list of memes will add a little sunshine to your day.
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Forgive yourself if you haven't taken this time to get a rock-hard set of abs, become an overnight Instagram influencer, or learn how to bake a tower of banana bread that also can miraculously homeschool your children.
A global health crisis isn't exactly the time to reinvent your entire life, reorganize your entire home or be wildly productive every single day, but little changes here and there have been getting people through. And quarantine cocktails also help...
Bartenders on the job have a front row ticket to people at their happiest, saddest, and friskiest. Mixologists dished on their wildest patrons and it gets real messy. You can smell the pee, beer, and pee-beer from wherever you're sitting.
Woman walks in. Buys a bottle of our most expensive wine (3k). Sits down with a bowl of peanuts and drinks the whole bottle in one sitting. Pays for it (in cash) and strolls outside like nothing happened. -sushitrash69
I was working on my own and the bar was completely empty aside from one semi-regular customer. He was really drunk and decided he wanted to play the piano (we didn't have one) so he went home (only lived down the road), got his keyboard and bought it into the bar to play.
I ended up staying open late because I felt bad. -expandd0ng94
I ran a pub a few years ago and a guy came in for a drink (presumably on his way to the doctors or something) with a urine sample in his hand and put it on the bar while he drank. Gross. -tomoli_06
I once had an old man come during a very quiet shift, asked to use the loo, I pointed him in the direction and carried on whatever I was doing. About thirty/forty minutes go by and I suddenly remember that happened and I hadn’t seen him leave. I hurry to the toilet thinking I’ve got the scene from Clerks going on, when I arrive the toilet door is locked and there’s no answer from inside.
Fearing the worst I grabbed the tool kit and got the door open. Inside were a pair of shoes and socks on the floor, with a phone on top of the toilet. I freak out and run around the building searching for the guy, my brain is going mental, I eventually have the brain wave of checking CCTV. I find out the guy had ran outta the toilet with no shoes or socks on and out one of the fire escapes. I never did find out why or how he relocked the toilet door.
Spun me out for the rest of my shift to say the least. -Gartholamewd
I work in a bar. One afternoon, a middle aged man and a teen/early twenty-something couple—a boy and girl whom I assumed were either his kids, or one of them was his kid and the other was his/her SO—stopped directly in front of the bar's big front window.
The older man and boy go to hug, no big deal. They start making out. The girl doesn't react, then inches closer. The man then reaches up and starts feeling the girl's boob while he's making out with the boy. The three of them are just standing in the street like that--the boy and the man goin at it, the girl hangin' out getting her boob fondled, looking kinda bored--until BOOM! all three pull away and act casual as an older woman about the man's age walks up. She greets everyone with a peck on the cheek, then all four of them walk away together, looking like a happy family.
There was one other person in the bar with me, a regular. We had both watched the whole thing in silence. I asked him if he saw what I saw. He said yes, and that was it. We've never talked about it.
We used to have a bit of a drug problem in the bar I worked in back in the 90's. The manager came up with an idea to put Vaseline on the flat surfaces in the toilet cubicles with warnings as to why they were there which was to obviously stop people snorting it off them. Anyway fast forward a week and a VERY angry middle aged man storms up to the bar and demands to talk to whoever just ruined his 3 lines of cocaine and that he wanted to make an official complaint! We laughed and asked if we should report it to the police, at which point he left. -dbthedon
I had a couple come in one night. They ordered a Miller Lite bottle and a glass of merlot. They hung out for bit and left. Next night couple comes in sat down I said hi, bottle of Miller Lite and a glass of merlot? The guy says "how the hell do you know that" I said it's just what you ordered yesterday. The couple says we have never been in here before. I looked closer at a very similar looking, but completely different couple from the night before. But that was their drinks of choice. -xXUpgraDDeXx
I was awkwardly offered sex in the adjacent men’s toilets from a trampy looking Middle Aged woman (I was 18 at the time), when I politely declined the offer she proceeded to have a chat with my boss. I didn’t even have much time to wonder if she was making a complaint or something before they both left for his office. He came back out acting as if he’d just spent time with a super model.
I acted dumb and asked “who was that?”
He nonchalantly replied “dunno..... oh, errrr that guys wife” and pointed to the man I’d just poured a drink for. -melanantic
I saw a lot of things tending bars for 10 yrs, but this was definitely the weirdest.
Upscale restaurant, a guy approaching toddlers throughout the dining room and asking them "Do you like dinosaurs?" After 3 or 4 of these innocent-enough encounters, he suddenly jumps onto a table, squats down real low, puts on his "t-rex arms" and starts screeching like a Jurassic Park velociraptor. He's craning his neck back and forth, jumping from table to chair, to next table, stalking the kids and screeching at them. Takes a good five minutes before his party is able to corral him and get the fuck out of there. -TellurideTeddy
Another bartender getting so drunk while working he fell asleep standing up.
College kids trying to do shots through their eyes.
A new bartender was asked to get a bucket of ice from the ice machine, he came back his hands were bright red, he didn't know he was supposed to use a scoop
Finding a note book at the bar with fan fiction about one of the servers.
Being offered tips but instead of cash things such as drugs, sex, an expensive jacket, frozen meat, power tools, lottery tickets, horse riding lessons.
Married dude trying to hit on women by buying a bottled beer, rolling a $100 bill up, putting it in the mouth of the bottle and having it delivered to them
Any corner or slightly secluded area in a bar can and will be used as a bathroom by drunk people.
Drunk guy takes a bite out of his glass, continues to finish the beer despite the blood.
A girl who looked about 25 taking her dentures out to do shots with friends.-86dicks
Drunk guy comes back from the toilet, shouting " WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME", while his penis is hanging out of the zipper. -Snap568
After I refused to serve a guy he tried to reach over the bar and take the knife I was using to cut the lemons with. Presumably to either use it on me or help me cut the lemons, f*ck knows. -theirishrebel67
I once had a guy come behind the bar and take his dick out to piss, he apparently was so drunk he thought the bar was the bathroom? -mr_charlie_sheen
I mean, technically not behind the bar but we did catch an older couple having sex in the toilets one night whilst locking up. I'm talking like 60's or 70's. Not cool. -tomlederp
While cleaning up vomit in the men's sink after last call, a man rushed in, ignored me telling him the area was closed, and proceeded to piss, then wash his hands and splash water on his face. Then picked up the vomit soaked rags I was using and rubbed his hands and face with them. The look on his face when he realized... -aim33mu
Woman changed her kids sh*tty diaper at the bar, that was fun. -bclark120573
A homeless lady came in one night and the other bartender and I decided to buy her a couple drinks for her. She repaid us by trying to fight a regular and then pulling up her dress and taking a dump on the sidewalk out front. We made the head bouncer scoop it up with cardboard and toss it into the dumpster. -stinkypie
I worked at a pub in a little country town in Australia and one night I had a semi-regular patron walk in playing bag pipes. He did a lap of the bar, walked out and came back 15 minutes later as though nothing happened. -MissIrrelevant
Students in quarantine all over the world have been able to continue with school thanks to Zoom. But adapting to a fully-digital academic platform is not without its fair share of challenges for students and teachers alike. For one, livestreaming from your own home to a classroom full of people can lead to some accidental overshares, and is generally just a landmine of potential humiliation. Remember to always double-check that "mute" button!
1.) From WhatIsRedditImConfus:
My friend was the admin on a zoom call. He switched my name to “big booty bitch”. I then joined a work related zoom call, name was still “big booty bitch” had no idea how to change it so was “big booty bitch” for the duration of my summer job training that day.
2.) From suboccasumsolis:
Teacher here. But I set my hair on fire in a Zoom call with all my students present.
I have homework help sessions over Zoom, so I wasn't doing any actual instruction. I was looking out my window to see what my neighbor was doing; there was a lot of yelling going on. Then I realized I smelled something weird.... then I realized I had forgotten to blow out the candle on my windowsill.
Next thing I know I'm sheepishly minus a chunk of hair, and the kids are dying of laughter after figuring out why I shrieked...
3.) From gingerginger27:
I entered a class and didn't realize that my mic was on. 20 people heard me baby-talking to my cat and I got laughed at.
In one of my friends' lectures, a guy had his camera off but his mic on without realizing, and was talking about how he'd picked that major because it was easy, he didn't know anything, and what he did know he'd learned off TikTok.
In another friend's class, a guy was talking in that chat about how he'd been masturbating to Kylie Jenner and had to 'get another tug out', thinking that he was texting to someone else. The whole university got an email from the Dean about proper conduct after that one.
4.) From WonkierCracker6:
My sister has serious anger issues. It is to the point that she was playing Murder Mystery on Roblox and screaming bloody murder when she died. I did not k kw she was playing and in the middle of me discussing my book my sister screams at the top of her lungs" Oh my god he stabbed me!" It was a really awkward situation to explain.
5.) From Rocket-Tree:
Thankfully I'm careful about my mic but yesterday I was in a lesson with my math teacher and forgot I wasn't muted I called to my cat (mochi) and the exchange went as follows:
Me: mochiii. Moch moch! C'mere kitty! Proceeds to fall out of chair fuck that hurt
My teacher: holding back laughter did someone just fall out of their chair?
Me: yes that was me... I was trying to get my kitty immediately mutes my mic and sits there silently
6.) From el_pobbster:
My cat walked into my room during my German class. I had forgotten to turn off my mic, and so everyone heard my "who's an adorable floof? You are! Yes, you are!" routine.
...my German prof reminded me it was a German class, and that I needed to baby talk my cat in German. So my cat got to hear that he was, in fact, "eine sehr nette Katze, die beste Katze in der Welt!"
7.) From drownednotgod:
I was giving a presentation and my cat jumped up on my lap. He then immediately turned around to show everyone his butt (he wanted snuggles, but you know… that put the other end right into the camera)
8.) From rubixpheres:
Hadn't had lunch yet and so I brought some soup into my Zoom class. I took a looong sip, straight into the mic. Probably sounded like gunfire to the rest of my class.
9.) From HavenDeVita:
Not me, but a number of female students fail to realize that wearing a tube top makes it look like they're not wearing anything at all. One of the students during our zoom session wore tube top for a presentation that was focused on her. the entire time people were asking her in the chat why she wasn't wearing a shirt.
10.) From annatolekuragin:
Was in a relatively small class where many of us had dumb or fun backgrounds, professor included. After the class I had an interest meeting for an internship my department was offering. I had to switch to using Zoom on my phone before the meeting because my computer has issues with the mic at times and I knew I’d be asking questions in the meeting. I turned off the green screen feature when I switched to my phone, so my background looked normal. However, there were a ton of people in the meeting, and I wanted to be able to see them all (small department) so I switched back to my computer, hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with the audio issue that day.
Instead, I forgot the change in background settings on my phone didn’t apply to my computer as well, so for about five seconds everyone saw this as my background:
I felt the look of shock pop onto my face as I disabled my camera as fast as I could so I could fix the issue. No one said anything (neither in the interest meeting nor in my interview for the internship a couple of weeks later) besides my friend who was also in the meeting. My friend and I then spent the next 5 minutes of the meeting trying not to laugh at my bad luck.
I haven’t heard back about the internship yet, but my interview went well at least :) They are offering many internships for the program, so I have a good shot of getting it, I believe—I just hope no one paid any mind to my background lol
11.) From taxdude1966:
Thought I was side messaging one person but sent it to everyone “F*ck me this guy is boring”.
12.) From Lizzybreath:
I have my laptop hooked up to a monitor at my desk and I leave my laptop under my desk. I didn’t realize my dad unplugged my webcam from my laptop to plug in the printer. When I turned my video on for my Poli Sci class everyone got a great view of my legs and fuzzy socks (not nsfw). Thankfully I really like my legs!
13.) From whysomanyemmas:
Apparently professors can see private chats, which I didn’t know. The first zoom lecture I had, my friend and I absolutely roasted a kid who always says the stupidest things. I thought we’d get called out, but we participate more than most and both aced the class and the professor never said anything about it. But I’m still embarrassed.
14.) From JesusChristIsMyNigg:
In my history class, the teacher asked that we all mute ourselves, but he wanted cameras on so he could see we were actually there and ready to participate for when he did have a question for us. A girl took her laptop to the bathroom with her and put it on the floor. I could only see pants around her ankles. She noticed her mistake after about 10 seconds and spun the laptop to face the door. I have no idea who else noticed, and I barely know the girl.
In another class, one of my friends started scrolling down Tiktok and forgot to mute herself. The teacher called her out by name to "stop playing music" and she quickly apologized
15.) From Far2Young2Die:
I was uncomfortable and needed to change the position I was sitting in, so I moved. I just so happened to move in such a way that for a moment, my legs were in a very inappropriate position (the camera was about level to me, for reference). I quickly moved and nobody said anything, but...
16.) From xXTonySmartXx:
I used my sister's ipad for zoom because mine was out of battery, forgot to change the username (hers had hearts and girly stuff) and the background (hers was a selfie of her) and everyone thought she was my crush. (I don't talk about my sister that much). Now whenever
17.) From Zdmboom:
I was answering a question when my mom walked in on a call with her class(she is a teacher) and started giving them a tour of my room then points the camera at me and says “There is the little turd we like to call my son” I probably should have turned my mic of but I still answered the question.
18.) From lemon_bby:
Oh, god. I don't know how to feel about this one.
So, my Spanish teacher has a horriblereputation. He's know for being inappropriate towards students, making fun of poor students, and being a jerk. Anyway, I was in class, muted- I thought, and my mom comes into my room and sees my screen, and we jump into a conversation about him. I was saying how he "seems" nice, but here's all the bad things he did, and my mom was saying how she doesn't really trust him and how she wants me to know that it's never okay for a teacher to hit on a student, and I was like "I knoowwww mommmm". I come back to my screen and there is my class, sitting in silence, just hearing everything.
When a spouse cheats and and you don't have kids, you can make a clean break and wash your hands of them forever.
However, when they leave you for their mistress and you still have children together, you're left with the enormous emotional gymnastics of grieving the relationship while trying to keep it civil for the children. This can be exceedingly painful and awkward, and looks drastically different depending on what your relationship was like.
In theory, an ex who cheated on you should be grateful for any civility you extend towards them in co-parenting, but not all people have that level of perspective.
AITA for acting "too" friendly to my ex's wife? He cheated on me with her.
I used to be married to Jake, and he cheated on me with Melissa. We divorced over it and now he and she are married.
Jake and I have kids, a boy and a girl.
At the holidays, we agreed to have a family Christmas with Jake's family. He wanted me there for the kids sake, and I agreed, it would probably be good to have some normalcy.
Melissa would also be there, and I was determined to make stuff work out. I felt hurt by her, of course, but she's married to the father of my children, she is their stepmother, and civil co-parenting is what's best for the kids.
So at the event, I sat next to her at dinner and tried to make conversation, about her job (we work in the same field) her hobbies and travel, the kids, etc. I treated her just like I'd treat family or a friend.
Later when the kids were playing with her and Jake, I came by to join them for that. And it seemed like she was weirded out by something but I didn't know what was up, she's a kind of socially awkward person so I thought maybe she was just in a shy mood.
A month later, it was our son's birthday and he wanted to go to the zoo, he wanted both mommy and daddy and his sister there together. So we went, and Jake also brought Melissa.
I tried my best to be friendly again, asking her about her new job that I'd heard about from Jake, making small talk about the kids. I asked her for her number to be able to coordinate things involving the kids, sometimes she drops them off at mine rather than Jake.
After that, I sent her a couple messages, all about the kids. Asking things like "Did (son) leave his gloves in your car?" Or "I can't reach Jake, what time are y'all dropping off the kids at mine?"
I also sent her one text about a big thing that was happening in our career field. More as a heads up, than expecting a conversation.
And after all this, I had no real sign anything was off. Till Jake blew up at me for being "overbearing" with Melissa, trying to push a friendship when it apparently made her uncomfortable, "hovering" over her whenever we were in the same place.
He said that they wanted me to be civil but that it was "creepy" for me to have "made" Melissa give me her number, that I was hitting her up like we were friends, and that it was uncomfortable.
I feel so taken aback, Melissa never said anything like that to me.
I said that I'd like to talk to Melissa about this, and hear it from her.
He said no, she was blocking me, and she wanted me to back off if we're ever in the same place.
It seems crazy to me, I don't know how much of this is coming from him versus her. I feel like I was trying to make stuff chill for our kids sake but she is pushing me away.
AITA for trying apparently too hard to be friendly with my kids stepmom? My ex husband cheated on me with her which makes everything so much more awkward.
NTA. I am guessing that in order to justify the affair to themselves, they had to mentally turn you into the villain. The fact that you are behaving nicely and maturely threatens that narrative (and forces them to consider that maybe they were the a*sholes in that situation), so they're trying like hell to put you back in that box.
Unfortunately you cannot reason people out of positions they did not reason themselves into, so even though they are being stupid, I would pull back on the friendliness and communicate about the kids only.
NTA
I *can* see how she might feel awkward/uncomfortable because she probably feels guilty. and/or she sees you as a threat. If she's already socially awkward, then she is NOT equipped to handle this situation gracefully.
That being said, you are trying to do the best you can for the kids. Recognizing the reality of the situation and moving forward civilly is the mature thing to do. Your husband should be in the same mindset and encouraging Melissa to face the reality as well.
NTA - But why do I get the feeling this isn't Melissa who requested this, but Jake....
Jake doesn't want you and Melissa getting chummy because when he cheats on her the same way he cheated on you she'll have you to talk too.
Step-parents usually exchange phone numbers with the bio-parents is BOTH parents are involved with the kids.
You need to get the truth from Melissa.
NTA.
Let me tell you, my mom's parents divorced when she was young, and to this day, she'll say how much it meant to her and how grateful she is that her stepmom and mom were kind to each other and became genuine friends. It made it so much easier for her and made her feel a lot safer and more comfortable in her relationships with her family members.
I think it's awesome what you're trying to do for your kids. I'm bummed on your behalf that your ex husband and his wife are making it weird. Especially since they're the ones who had an affair. My guess is they don't trust you putting aside your feelings to do the right thing because they're not people who historically have put aside their feelings to do the right thing.
Absolutely NTA. from what I just read you were in no way creepy and I commend you for making an effort with your ex's wife despite the circumstances. Co-parenting is a lot easier and in turn better for your kids if there is open communication with all primary adults who are around the children.
While OP doesn't seem to be in the wrong here, the biggest question left at hand is whether Melissa truly feels uncomfortable, or if Jake is meddling for his own gain. Hopefully, OP and Melissa can talk it out directly, without the presence or influence of Jake. Otherwise, this dynamic may just become more frustrating.
We're months into the global coronavirus pandemic. But just as the virus hasn't slowed down its spread, neither has misinformation and ignorance surrounding it. Especially in the U.S., where fake news thrives. Unfortunately, this ignorance is not only frustrating to watch, it's also dangerous, contributing to more loss of life, and potentially keeping us all quarantined in our homes much longer than anyone had imagined. But where there is darkness, there will be light. And where there is ignorance on the internet, there will be clap-backs.
Comebacks save lives! Thank you to these people for their very important public service.
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People often take more liberties with naming their pets than their children, but even so, most names fall within a fairly predictable realm of cute and familiar.
So, when people jump out on a limb to get weird or meta with their pet names, it gets super amusing, super fast.
1. From justGusCos:
Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them -- Big Dog and Glitter.
I had a friend growing up who spent all of high school avoiding using her cat’s name in front of others. She’d been allowed to name her cat at the age of three, and as a teenager, was embarrassed to have a pet named “Pretty Kitty”.
My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma.
Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named "Bone Crusher." He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6'4" and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all.
Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller.
Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can't remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head.
I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag.
I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting.
My personal favorite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart.
I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, "Who knocked over the vase?" And you sing, "Maybe it's Maybelline."
I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim.
I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say "this is my pet peeve."
Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that.
Not a vet, but my dads buddy rescued a cat from a crackhouse in his neighborhood. So his wife named the cat Crackpipe.
Whenever they took the cat to the vet, they would tell them its name was Crackel.
My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. I miss Dumptruck.
In high school my friend had an iguana named mariguana.
I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles.
Veterinarian here.
Upinsmoke (a Persian cat)
Car number nine (another cat)
A lady with 4 cats - Elvis , Bosom, Jesus and Barbara
Dog called Sol (our Sol = arsole)
Bat man, a cat with facial markings like a mask
The Kid Sampson = a bulldog
The nurses name all wild crows Russell and seagulls, Steven
Forgot about Bizzle Chips (bullmastif) and Gravel (my own dog) Gravel had a gritty childhood.
Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse. A friend of mine also had a rabbit called Floppy, and the family surname was Dick, so you can imagine how that looked in the diary.
My uncle had a cat in the 70s named "F*ck You", so when his cat got out, he could walk around the city yelling "hey, f*ck you!".
Rumor has it that he had a drug problem.
My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada).
The days are either unbearably long or speeding by without knowing what we actually did and if you're starting to wonder if your eyes are permanently fixated on your phone, you're not alone. It's definitely a weird and stressful time to be alive right now and if you haven't taken your quarantine life to reinvent your body and career, cut yourself some slack.
Some people might be meditating to a shrine of homemade banana bread and Zoom happy hours while seamlessly transferring their work lives to Zoom and getting muscular enough to lift a truck, but binge-watching a television show you've already seen is also an acceptable pandemic coping mechanism. As long as you're socially distancing and supporting your local essential workers, you're doing everything right.
In order to teach students, you have to get them to listen, and in order to get them to listen, you need to speak their language.
Teachers are getting their students to listen up and remember the material by translating course content into memes, and their jokes vary from dank to cringe.
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“No one on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.”
– Paul Tsongas
True, no one ever said they wished they spent more time at the office, but I bet someday someone will say, "I wish I spent more time laughing at memes while pretending to work from my bed." Laugh at these hilarious working from home memes so you can die with no regrets.
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The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" might seem reductive, but it's a common phrasing for a reason. As with any toxic relationship pattern, it takes a real change of heart and self-reflection for a serial cheater to change their ways. So, when someone has cheated and doesn't own up to their mistake in a serious way, it's not unreasonable to assert they may continue the pattern.
That being said, there are plenty of mistresses (and the male equivalent) who genuinely believe they're the exception. They believe the man who cheated with them would never step out now, that perhaps the original affair was the fault of their man's ex-wife, and this new relationship is obviously very different.
Sadly, history has a way of repeating itself, despite our wishes - and cycles of deceit, manipulation, and relationship boredom persist. In some cases, two women wronged by the same man are able to bond over their common misery, but that solidarity is rare to bridge between an ex-wife and the woman her husband cheated with.
AITA For telling my ex-husband's soon to be ex-wife that I (and by extension my daughter) will have no relationship with her?
I'll try to keep it short and sweet. My ex-husband cheated on me with his current wife. We divorced, they got together, and had a baby.
Well it's some years past that point, and surprise surprise, he's done it again. He and his wife are getting a divorce, and he's probably going to marry his new affair partner within the next 6 months if he follows the pattern. More power to him and his penis, I literally do not care what he does with his life anymore.
BUT I was pretty shocked to discover that his wife reached out to me, basically crying about what happened, how she couldn't believe it, and how now that we're in the same camp, so to speak, we should maintain a relationship so our daughters can still be in each other's lives and so we can commiserate.
Yeah, I told her to take a hike, and that if our mutual ex wanted our daughters to hang out, I was more than happy to schedule his visitation at the same time as hers so the girls could be together with their father, but that there was no way I was setting up sleepovers and play dates with her. I'm not bitter about it anymore, I'm remarried, etc. But I just want nothing to do with her. Haven't since the affair.
She about lost it, crying even more about how I would keep our girls apart because we both know ex-husband barely keeps up with his visitation, blah blah, and how he gets when he's in a new relationship. Yes, NOW we both know. But before only I knew, and she didn't seem too sympathetic about my end. She brought up how when she started up with my ex, she didn't know he was married, so I shouldn't hold it against her, and he's the one who cheated, not her. But I really don't care about any of that.
Anyway, she obviously called me an a*shole, though not in so many words. My sister is also saying I should think about my daughter's potential relationship with her half sibling, but I think that should be on her father to orchestrate if it's important for him that his children bond and have a relationship. So lay it on me. AITA?
EDIT: Popular questions, my daughter is 8 almost 9, and her daughter is close to 7, either about to turn or just turned. My daughter is completely indifferent to her half-sister on her dad's side for various reasons explained in the comments but suffice to say, the indifference isn't new. They don't and have never had a sisterly relationship according to my daughter. She does not have any specific desire to see her (but is presumably fine seeing her while they are both with their father), but if she did want to hang out with her, we'd make it happen.
EDIT: Also asked about the state of schedule. My daughter sees her father, generously, 8-10 times a year, never more than a week, usually for a day or two. Between 2-4 of those are with his wife and daughter. This is likely to decrease slightly since he's in a new relationship. Assuming the same pattern continues, the girls will probably still see each other at least 3 times a year. A bit in the summer, for one fall holiday, and father's day. I have also encouraged her in the past to attend his daughter's birthday parties at least briefly.
My daughter is very close with my other daughter and her stepfather, which likely contributes to her disinterest, but isn't something I can really control. I've never badmouthed her father, his wife or other sister, but they just don't really sit prominently on our day-to-day radar.
LOL. WTF is she on? NTA by a mile. She was part of your ex-husbands cheating and comes crying to you when he continues the cycle. She has no shame. You said the exact thing I was thinking, let them visit but with their dad. You have no obligation to set up visitation between half-siblings.
NTA for what you said to the woman. It is up to their father or paternal grandparents to facilitate that relationship, unless your daughter requests your help with it.
NTA. She is out of her mind to call YOU for sympathy.
"She brought up how when she started up with my ex, she didn’t know he was married"
Unless they were just having a one night stand, she is either lying or too dumb for you to leave your kid with.
She’s expecting you to do the emotional parenting for your ex in a situation she helped create. Your child’s relationship(s) with the kid(s) he makes with women who are fine hooking up with a cheater are entirely his responsibility.
Maybe you should suggest to her that she contact the new wife and see if she wants to handle coordinating visitations.
NTA also you should ask her if she wants to have an actively good relationship with the lady that she was cheated on with, see how she reacts to that. Your ex’s ex an asshole for pursuing a (formerly) married man, and now she’s getting a taste of her own medicine. People say that if they cheat with you, they’re going to cheat on you- so to be honest she really should have seen this coming. If your daughter wants a relationship with her half siblings then let her, but their mother doesn’t deserve anything from you or her.
It seems clear that OP isn't in the wrong for not wanting to be friends with her ex-husband's mistress-turned-ex-wife, the question at hand left is whether the newest woman will continue the cycle of marrying and divorcing this mess of a husband.
Celebs: just like us! Except richer...and famous...and with more Instagram followers. And when they do something mundane like walk into The Gap, it can change a random stranger's life forever. So maybe they're not really that much "like us"....
She asked people to share their most "mundane," average, un-glamorous encounters with very famous people doing seemingly "normal people" things. Even celebs shared their memorable stories of encountering other celebs. Are they actually LIKE US after-all?!
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— Bethany Thomas (@_bethany_thomas) May 14, 2020
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My wife and I were having breakfast at a restaurant in Beverly Hills and I noticed the man across from us reading his morning paper + drinking tea & told him, “You could make a lot of money as a Sting impersonator.”
— Fernand R. Amandi (@AmandiOnAir) May 14, 2020
He chuckled because of course, he was indeed, @OfficialSting. pic.twitter.com/gDSU2abt5G
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In 2015, I saw Danny DeVito outside of LAX looking at his cell phone. As I walked up to him, with my phone in hand, he looked up at me and said “wanna take a selfie with me?” pic.twitter.com/knZZjUNV2X
— MIKE* ⚾️ (@Vitto_Rio) May 14, 2020
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Went to my favorite Ramen Spot in LA & was waiting to be seated & just outta nowhere, randomly sitting there just enjoying his ramen by himself was Keanu Reeves 🤷🏾♂️ pic.twitter.com/J3oJJTeYZ4
— Mad Skillz (@SkillzVa) May 14, 2020
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Are you a grammar freak? Hate abbreviations in texting? Can't stand when people talk with their mouth full or leave dishes in the sink? Do you have a strong preference for which way the toilet paper should roll? There are a lot of things in this world to be annoyed about.
The problem with is that pet peeves that most of us who have strong ones are self aware enough to know that they're pretty ridiculous reasons to get upset. Still, sometimes you can't control what will send you into a full fit of toddler-level rage.
"Please don't try to have a conversation with me when I'm in another room, especially if I'm doing dishes, laundry, making food, showering, etc. I'm trying to listen to you, but cannot clearly hear what you're saying. Odds are I'm going to ask you to repeat yourself three times or I'm going to ignore you until I can come to where you are. Either way, you'll likely be pissed about it.
I now understand why that pissed my mother off so much when I was younger." - SpanglesMcGlorywings
The people ON the elevator EXIT FIRST; that means BEFORE the losers waiting FOR the elevator ENTER.
ALWAYS.
EVERY TIME.
NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I’m riding an elevator, and you try to get on before letting me off, I will make it awkward for everyone involved and I will have literally no shame. Is negative shame possible? I will have negative shame for making you feel awkward trying to block me from getting off the elevator. - Alecara
"Put sh*t back where you got it from." - kou5oku
"Scrape your damn plate off before putting dishes into the dishwasher. I’m home from college right now living in a 5 person home, and my sister is the only person who understands this. Everyone else basically puts meals in the dishwasher, or they let things like cereal get stuck to the plates and cups which drives me crazy lol.
It’s a dishwasher, not a garbage can!" - HT2424
"Close the dang cabinet doors!
Close all the doors!" - sputtertots
"Chew with your mouth closed." - Infidel2017
"That if my wife just stops asking me questions and watch the movie- she’ll understand what the movie is about" - KelpCakeDanny
"You're not the only person in the grocery store, lady! Move your cart to the side IN ANTICIPATION of others trying to get by. It's not predicting the future and you really need to work on your spacial awareness." - Bumblebeee_tuna_
"Throw away your trash at the movie theater" - ThiccPapaSIZZLE
"Having any sound coming from your phone over the speaker in public. TF is wrong with you? I don't need to hear your sh*tty music OR your conversation!" - notathr0waway1
"People that don't know the difference between losing and loosing get my downvote every time." - happyness
"Leaving the lights on when there’s no one in the room. This is such a stupid thing but it just gets on my nerves." - oh-no-I-gotLostAgain
"How the dishwasher is loaded." - freddymercury1
"People who don't mix their sour cream so it isn't soupy on top before they use it, what is wrong with them?" - astonersfriend
"Espresso, not eXpresso" - ShoulderCake
"All water does not taste the same" - heispullupjimbo22
"Not every Indian dish you eat is "curry" flavoured. Stop!" - Chan273
"I may very well consider murder whenever I see/hear the use of "for all intensive purposes". - omar1993
Everyone who was once a teenager, or has met a teenager, knows just how mean teens can be. The first victims of their sass, mood swings, and attempted rebellions are their parents. This funny tweets prove that it's not just the teens who can be funny online.
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"Being single is about celebrating and appreciating your own space that you're in."
-Kelly Rowland
All the hot singles out there will relate to this hilarious list of memes. These memes will definitely crack you up and let you know you're not alone. Here's to laughing more and crying over your exes less.
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J.K. Rowling might be wishing she made up a Harry Potter spell for deleting someone else's tweet.
Despite the author's ongoing efforts to retroactively make the Harry Potter books more woke, people on Twitter are discussing the apparent cultural stereotypes in her characters' names.
New York Times reporter Astead Wesley tweeted about Rowling's naming process, and it went viral:
The implication is that Rowling put lots of energy into thinking of white characters' names, but not those of nonwhite characters.
In fact, as it's been pointed out before, "Cho" is actually a Korean last name and "Chang" is Chinese, so the name Cho Chang doesn't make much sense.
The tweet has gotten a ton of attention and sparked a lot of debate. A few people said Wesley should leave the HP universe alone.
But many agree with Wesley that Rowling phoning in Cho's name was offensive.
Others are pointing out that Google didn't exist back then, so maybe people should cut J.K. Rowling some slack.
(But also, fun fact, Google was not the world's first search engine...)
And Cho Chang's name wasn't the only evidence of cultural blind spots in the Harry Potter books.
For example, some have complained that the goblin bankers resemble offensive stereotypes of Jewish people.
And others say Rowling didn't put a ton of effort into naming the only Jewish wizard, either.
Some believe Rowling showed anti-Irish sentiment, too.
Although part of that may be due to the movie director.
And Rowling's recent anti-trans tweets don't help her case.
Still, some fans think J.K. Rowling probably couldn't win no matter what she wrote.
Every language has its own set of rules and regulations, but some make more sense than others. And if you ever thought the rules of English seemed especially arbitrary, you might be right.
A recent Reddit thread asked people who learned English later in life or as a second language to share the rules that completely baffled them. The answers might make you feel better about your own grammar school track record.
Why do alarms go off? Aren’t they really turning on? - Hmmmhowaboutthis
tough though thought through thorough - 01rafa
Rough Dough Through
Rhyme? No
But
Pony Bologna
Yes - Sab_accha_ho_yaga
HOW DO I SAY VEGETABLE Like is it veggie table Or vej ter bul - ObliterAsian
I've only learned how to say the "th" sound this year. English can be so simple yet so complicated sometimes... - KING_DARKLIME
The sound in "thin" is different from the one in "then". - problemwithurstudy
Hey kids! Remember, it's I before E except after C, or when sounding like "A" as in "neighbor" and "weigh"! Plus these few exceptions: caffeine, species, science, sufficient, ancient, society, weird, theism, protein, sovereign, foreign, feisty, kaleidoscope, codeine, deify, deity, seize, beige, neither, counterfeit, zeitgeist, sheik, conscience. And that's I before E except after C. Plus a few exceptions. - notamistakeihope
Why are there words that even though they are spelled exactly the same, they are pronounced different based on the context.
The guy is an invalid, he is bound to his bed.
The strategy used is invalid. It shouldnt have ever been accepted.
I read every night.
I read the whole book while I was on the plane. - arnoldone
I don't know what a participle is. What's a preposition? Was I supposed to end my first sentence with 'is'? It's not something I'm aware of. - Lucretius91
Taught ESL to Russians, who don't use articles for nouns. Was asked why you say, "I had breakfast" but also would say "I had A big breakfast."
Let's just say I wasn't a great teacher. - AmigodelDiabla
A, an, the, no article. I hate it. Thank God I know how to use them in most cases out of pure luck, but it's so frustrating! Oh, you want to name a mountain? Use no article. But only for one mountain. For mountain chain use the.
And all the exceptions in each and every rule. Why even bother inventing rules if in half of the cases when you are trying to use it there is an exception?! - lina360
Chaos. Why the f*** is it pronounced like that? When it’s spelled like this?? - aonele
Not the rule, but the flexibility of the word "shit"
Shit - Means oh no. Also means shit
Shit in peace - Describing an action.
My shit - My valued belongings.
Your Shit - Your mess.
Little piece of shit - Refers to children or your mate
Retarded Shit - Any kind of object / human or event.
Shit Storm - Unfortunate string of events. - hazinhk
More the missing of a word.
In german you can say something like:
Geht es dir nicht gut? (Do you not feel good?)
Doch mir geht es gut. (I'm feeling good)
The "doch" is a word to say after no/not to state that the no is wrong. But there is no translation for that in english. - DragonDivider
Horrible (bad) —> Horrific (bad) Terrible (bad) —> Terrific (good) ??? - Solleksmori
Posh what the hell does this word mean - GamersStrike
It baffled me how easy conjugating is. My first language is french and conjugating was always a f****** pain. So when it clicked with me that "hey, there's like 3 ways you can write each verbs and you just have to remember when to use wich" i was just stunned how easy it was. - HeavyWeath3r
queue, just why the hell do you spell it like that - edwinhai
"The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things."
-Henry Ward Beecher
You don't need a lot to be happy. If you have a roof over your head, food on your table, and memes on your phone, you've got it all. This list of memes is just the dose of silly that we could all use to lift our spirits this morning.
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Apparently Josh Popkin thought it would a hilarious prank for his TikTok followers to watch him spill a massive container of cereal and milk on the New York City subway in the middle of a pandemic. Causing a mess for essential workers to clean up would be disrespectful even if we weren't in the middle of a global health crisis, but also a mess that involves spilling and wasting food? In the underground vermin hub that is the New York City subway system? During a time when people are seriously struggling financially, some without food? Choosing to go out strictly for a TikTok prank when every health expert is telling you to stay home to protect people? There are so many things about this behavior that is wildly ignorant, privileged, selfish and grotesque which is probably why the video has since been deleted from Popkin's TikTok profile.
According to Buzzfeed, Popkin has also been recently dropped by Dulcedo Management, which had previously described him on their website as a "23-year-old up and coming stand-up comedian and content creator" with a "cult-like fan-base" for the "13-25 male demographic." I'm not an expert, but I think it's pretty safe to say the future of stand-up comedy isn't spilling food all over the train. Great punchline, bro. Love the arc you put into this bit...
Director of Dulcedo, Benjamin Carter told Buzzfeed, "We also are not fans of the content that was posted in the subway nor do we think it is the positivity needed during these times." However, deleting his mistake and getting dropped by his management didn't stop people (including the MTA) from skewering him on Twitter.
https://t.co/5lyt3OTKvE he also doesn’t know how to wear a mask apparently. @NYCMayor@NYCTSubway@NYCMayorsOffice@nyc311 really disrespectful to put the rest of the city at risk and make essential jobs even harder at a time where we all need to be working together. pic.twitter.com/P8AduO6Ior
— sami (@samitakesphotos) May 14, 2020
Arrest him. He's endangering the lives of people who are trying to do their jobs during a pandemic. If he were anything but white, he'd already be in jail.
— Poppyfield (@Poppyfield1) May 14, 2020
It's a suite life when you're a guest in a hotel, and many visitors take advantage of hospitality workers' hospitality.
Hotel employees shared stories of their messiest, friskiest, and smelliest guests.
Warning: Working at a hotel means having stories that are NSFW.
Front desk worker here. Guest once told me to babysit their 2 year old. Without even answering they left the baby at the front desk and just left. Came back 4 hours later to pick it up. -lollerz
Two guests got into the basement and emptied the icemaker on to the floor. Then they had sex on the ice.. Then I showed up.. I went back upstairs and let them finish. The guests are always right... -farmgarcon
Broke into the managers apartment through the back door at 11pm to ask for more towels. Probably would have been faster to ring at the front desk. -rocketmanatee
While working for Holiday Inn I received a call down at the Front Desk from our Honeymoon Suite saying that the room had a strange smell. Without really thinking too much about it I said I would get housekeeping to come and ozonate the room for them.
About 15 minutes later they call down again, say the smell is pretty bad and can they switch rooms. My manager and I move them to another suite and then go up to the room to investigate the smell. We are in the room for half an hour, trying to figure out what this was. Eventually we opened the bottom dresser drawer and found a log of sh*t rolled up in a towel that had apparently been sitting in that drawer, overlooked by housekeeping, for over a week.
When we called the guest to tell him we would be charging him for extra housekeeping costs as well as the towel that had to be thrown away, he simply replied, "I was dissatisfied with the continental breakfast"
*Just to clarify, the room had been unoccupied since the pooper had made his deposit, so it wasn't difficult to track down the guilty party. -SenorBiggles
My roommate works front desk at a Marriott... One night a guy comes back to the hotel, drunk, at 9pm. Around the elevators is a large mirror. He kicks the thing with a running start and shatters it.
He saw it in a movie once and wanted to try it. The mirror costs $2,000 to replace. He wasn't even upset. He just said, "Don't tell my wife." -paisleyplaid
I was working Front Desk at a Holiday Inn, and a group of six sailors on shore leave check in for the night. Usually these kinds of groups are rowdy and megadrunk, so I told them, "Look guys, I know what's up with these shore leave groups, so I put you in a room far from the other guests - BUT, you still have to keep it down." They assured me very respectfully that they would be VERY good that night.
About an hour later, the room calls down and asks us to punch up a card for a woman who would be arriving. Shortly after, a tall leggy woman in a trench coat walks up, requests a key, thanks me politely, and enters the elevator.
Another hour later, the woman calls down and asks for six razors, six towels. There is no noise in the background whatsoever.
Another hour hence, the woman in the trench coat leaves, and it was then I noticed her shiny black dominatrix boots. Judging from the housekeeping report the next day, she/they tied each other up, shaved their pubic zones, and left a big pubey mess in the sink. "Very good" indeed. ಠ_ಠ -Pianissimeat
One of our room service runners was clearing a tray and he went to grab a champagne bottle it slipped out of hit hand and shattered... Because it was covered in lube. -Vlayden
I once worked at a quasi-budget chain motel on the outskirts of a quaint little college town. This town also hosts a series of major car shows throughout the summer, and the locally-based employees prepped me with some fairly epic tales of debauchery that these shows brought.
My first two days working during one of these events were wholly uneventful, except for seeing a bunch of great cars everywhere. Walking back to my (shitty) car after a Saturday evening shift, I paused for a second to light a cigarette - as soon as I stopped, a naked older man jumped out of some shrubbery along the sidewalk, pointed at me and yelled, "SH*T! It found us!" Then he just sprinted away into a field. I'm still not sure if I'm the 'it' that found him, or if he was giving me a courteous heads up. I briefly considered following him, but I went to Wendy's instead. -TheButchersDog
I've had a woman open a conversation with me by throwing her room key at my head (hitting me in the eye). -AllWrong74
At a hotel I used to work at (I still work at hotels) we got a lot of business traffic, as in we had a lot of people who stayed on business. We had a regular who we'll call "Carl." Carl was a super nice guy, but kept to himself and stayed with us about 4 days out of the week. One day while my boss was working (who is now my boss at a different hotel... weird situation) guests in the room directly below him complained of a major water leak. We went upstairs into Carl's room to see if there was a problem. There was...
He had somehow completely shattered the toilet. He was drunk out of his mind and had porno mags all over the room. He was by himself, and the toilet was just plain shattered. They couldn't explain it. The water leaking was massive and we had to move all guests below him out of the way and do massive repairs on the hotel from the amount of water damage that occurred. The next morning when he came in to pay the damages off and properly check out of the room (he was staying overnight at the police station) was a very awkward one. -bill_nydus
Once took room service to a woman who smelled like death, they had to throw out some of the furniture in the room as well as the matters and bed linen after she stayed there for 1 night because they couldn't remove the smell. It's not like she pooped in everything or something obvious, it was just this incredible inexplicable stench that permeated everything. -Drifty254
I live in a small town of 70,000 people. I worked at one of the nicer hotels.
-Someone left their prosthetic leg at the hotel. we kept it in the lost and found. the person called and said "I will be hopping in there in a bit to grab my leg" wtf
-I got tipped 20 dollars worth of really good weed by a gay couple.
-Me and my 70-year-old co worker checked in a porn star while the camera crew was filming. I may be in a porn. But probably not.
-Guy came and brought his two ferrets. They escaped the room. We found them and kept them in the back office in our mail sack. Guy came back a second time. Ferrets got out again. We kept them in the mail sack. They were so adorable! -SoberHungry
I live at a hotel, one time we had a Polish pilot staying with us most nights for a couple of weeks. He would fly over night, sleep during the day, and do nothing in the evenings. When we ordered our new kitchen (all free standing, modern style) he asked if he could put it together out of boredom. So he sat in our kitchen for like 5 days building it all for us for free. He was really nice and wouldn't accept any payment. -Sayssomethingstupid
I worked at a very family-oriented Ritz Carlton resort and one summer Saturday (so we are busy as hell with mostly families) a middle aged drunk couple started f*cking in a crowded pool in the afternoon. -hollaballa
I worked as a waiter at a hotel/country club, and we often hosted parties/conventions. At one particular event, a woman got wasted, took off her clothes, and jumped into the swimming pool. Shortly after, a guy took off his clothes and jumped in after her. While she was floating on her stomach, he came up behind her, lifted her legs, and started tonguing her a*****e. -PerfectFaro
We had a guest come in with a parrot on her shoulder. When she turned around, you could see her whole back was covered in parrot sh*t. When we told her should couldn't stay, she claimed that the holy lord led her to our place. To that we also told her she couldn't stay. So she went and took a shit in the parking lot. That is a true story. Gotta love Oklahoma... -Henrykul
The hotel I used to work at gets a lot of military traffic from random NATO countries. A huge drunk German soldier tore off the front door once. The door was made of metal and glass. Despite that, they were the best drunks I've ever hosted. They were always polite (even the guy who tore the door off its hinges); they just came home and went to sleep.
The year we had British soldiers was the worst. They wanted to do nothing more than drink, fight with locals, party, destroy stuff and finish off with hookers. Every damn night. -aleenaelyn
