Quarantine has definitely hit all of us in very different ways...

Some of us have spending the last few months in a blur of sweatpants and trash television with intermittent Zoom "parties" that have very awkward goodbyes while others have taken their time off the get insanely fit and reorganize their wholes lives. What is means exactly to "thrive" in quarantine depends on what your personal goals are, but if you haven't been taking every day to do a virtual workout while juggling a tray of freshly baked bread and teaching your dog to speak French, it's ok. This is a strange time for the entire world, and if you're socially distancing and keeping yourself and others safe, you're doing great!

Luckily, even the people who are making the absolute most of their lockdown haven't lock their sense of humor in the pandemic.

Here are the funniest tweets we could find from people who are really thriving in the quarantine! Enjoy and stay safe.

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Money is one of the top reasons people end up divorcing, and a huge source of stress and contention in a lot of relationships. Wealth gaps, childhood upbringing, and completely different philosophies on money can push couples apart - and that's not even touching the iceberg of what it's like to constantly struggle to stay afloat.

That being said, when a couple is able to come to an agreement about how to allot their finances, that's a beautiful thing - and not to be tampered with by outside forces, even concerned family members.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, an engaged woman asked if she was wrong for threatening to ban her family from the wedding if they keep making judgments about her fiance's income.

AITA for telling my family to stay out of me and my fiancé’s financial agreement and that if they keep bothering me they can’t come to the wedding

OP shared that she was left a large inheritance by her grandparents and makes a lot more money than her fiance.

So my fiancé and I have a large wealth discrepancy. My grandparents gave me and my sister a large amount of money when they died, and I have a much higher paying job than him. He works just as hard as me, he just gets paid less.

In order to even the playing field, they have come to an agreement where she covers most of the rent and day-to-day expenses, while he contributes in other ways - with special gift and nights out.

The way our finances work right now is I pay most of our day to day expenses but he gets me nice birthday and Christmas presents. Last Christmas he got me a really beautiful necklace that he wouldn’t have been able to afford if I made him pay rent on the apartment. So he contributes just as much as he normally would if he paid rent, but this makes me feel better. The rent doesn’t suddenly cost more because he lives here, I was paying it by myself anyway.

OP lived in her apartment before her fiance moved in, and feels no burden with this situation - since he works hard and she would've been paying these bills either way.

Her family, however, has been persistent about parsing out and critiquing his financial situation.

My parents pestered me and pestered me to explain to them how he was paying half the rent on our apartment with his job, because he shouldn’t get paid enough to afford it while also buying everything else he does. I finally told them a few months ago that he doesn’t pay the rent. They basically had a meltdown over it and told me to break up with him, don’t go through with the wedding, etc.

When OP called her family on Mother's Day, they incessantly pressured her to force her fiance to pay rent, and she finally drew the line by threatening to ban them from the wedding if they didn't butt out.

I called them over Mother’s Day, and they spent the whole time asking if I have started making my fiancé pay rent. I finally got sick of it and told them no, to butt out and if they kept pestering me about our personal finances that they couldn’t come to the wedding. They had another meltdown and said that I was horrible for even bringing up the possibility that I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding.

Now, after feeling an outpouring of emotion from her mom, OP isn't sure whether she took it too far.

Was that threat too far? My mom called me crying today apologizing and basically groveling to come and now I feel like sh*t. AITA?

QueenVicky thinks OP's family needs to learn how to take it, if they're going to keep dishing it.

NTA why do they think it’s okay for them to say horrible things like you should break up with him but it’s not okay for you to tell them they won’t be invited to a wedding they clearly disapprove of? I wouldn’t want someone who clearly isn’t happy for me to be at my wedding either. If you’re happy in that arrangement, they have absolutely NOTHING to say.

20MLSE20 thinks it's essential that OP feel surrounded by support on her wedding day, even if that means cutting her parents out of the special day.

NTA- If it works for you & your happy that's all that matters. Sure it'd be great to have parents support, but asking you to dump him & not go through with the wedding would seem they have a bigger problem with him then just finances.

It's no one's business how you decide to live or pay rent, totally agree with QueenVicky " they have absolutely nothing to say ." It's your life & your money, not theirs.

Remindme2000 thinks OP's parents should chill, but understands why they're concerned, and thinks a prenup would be wise.

They are afraid you are being used for your money. Of course it isn't any of their business what you do with your money but I am sure you don't want to be blind to someone taking advantage of you either. Love CAN be blind. It maybe prudent to consider a prenup.

implodemode thinks OP is being willfully naive about the money question.

I know you are in love but your parents are concerned about your future finances. If you have no prenup and your fiance is not actually paying toward his upkeep then you will be screwed if the marriage does not last. It does not seem a wise distribution. But it is your life. ESH.

wildferalfun relates to OP, and thinks her family should butt out.

NTA. I would be livid if my family stuck their nose into my business like this. I have always made at least 2x what my husband makes and its really obnoxious that they'd be bothered.

grumpierolddog shared their own cautionary tale, and urged OP to get a pre-nup.

I (f 50) was just divorced and I sure do wish I had a pre-. I made more than him, in the end. We paid off his student loans, mine were done, I owned a house pre- marriage, he was renting. When divorcing, he got fifty-percent of my csl strs teachers retirement and half of our 403 B's even though I put in 60 per cent. He was unemployed numerous times, and quit a job that would have given him the same type of retirement I had. I never saw what a drain he was. I never expected to get a divorce.

I never expected a lawyer to tell me that I was losing half of my retirement because if I argued about it he might come after me for alimony. If he had lost his job during the divorce proceedings I would have been responsible for supporting him. He wasn't a bad person he just was more and more of a wuss and user as he got older. I worked for that retirement, not him, and he got half of it. Get a pre-nup, and let a lawyer explain to you what might happen just in case.

thatonepersoniam understands OP's frustration, but also can see where their parents are coming from.

NAH - I get bringing it up. Finances are hard, and many couples break up because of it. Parents not wanting their child to be taken advantage of is a reasonable thing. But you set firm limits and let them know it was a huge problem for you. It was a strong move on your part that seems to have worked.

Unlike some of the more biased AITA threads, there is no unanimous agreement from commenters. It's clear that people understand OP's desire to set boundaries with her parents, but also see where their concerns are coming from.

Train conductors see a lot of weird things go down on the tracks, ranging from dead bodies to drunk pranksters to the seemingly paranormal.

There's something about the expansive and seemingly remote nature of train tracks that inspires people to congregate in the most shady and bizarre ways. While most train rides are marked by stations stops and a rapid moving landscape, there are occasions when conductors are confronted with the truly bizarre.

In a popular Reddit thread, train conductors and railroad employees shared some of the weirdest things they've seen on the tracks, and do be warned: some of it is graphic.

1. From TrainDriverDad:

I've been driving trains for about 10 years, the most memorable would be two Male peacocks on the track doing some sort of a dominance display. Very pretty birds but a shame to hit them.

2. From Feed_my_Mogwai:

Dildos.

Random. Large. Dildos.

They turn up at various parts of the network, and achieve legendary status amongst the crew. Extra points if they can be seen by the passengers.

You can gauge how long someone has been a driver by which dildos they remember.

3. From Matches_Malone83:

The human unicorn of Chicago. It's a guy that would bend over next to the passing trains with a broom stick sticking out of his a*s.

4. From Younktsome:

Port o potty truck getting into an accident with a semi hauling toilet paper.

5. From itsKaaaaaayshuh:

My husband is a train conductor and he said crackheads periodically like to get on the tracks next to this trailer park and occasionally they've almost got hit. A couple years ago, a man parked his truck on the tracks and committed suicide.

It was pretty sad, he was only 27 and had just lost custody of his kids in a divorce. My husband said the impact was so hard that it cushed his truck up pretty bad but his head and torso were still in tact but there was blood and beer cans everywhere. Other than that, he's only ever seen a bunch of wildlife.

6. From blazingwhale:

Witnessed a drunk chap grab the overhead lines once, melted his rib cage and his insides turned into goo.

25 000v will do that to you.

7. From Kegzy37:

Train Driver from Australia, for me it would be either an Emu charging head first at my train, or two foxes fornicating in between the tracks...

8. From dapaul66:

15 year railroader here. I once saw a homeless guy getting a blow job from a toothless addict next to the tracks in Nashville. Also one I didn’t personally witness but used to be a common occurrence just north of Birmingham Alabama was a lady who would stand next to the tracks in a trench coat with a photographer and when the train was going by or right before, would get completely naked for a photo shoot.

Another legend is the “Chapel Hill Ghost Light” in Chapel Hill Tennessee. Supposedly, a long time ago a conductor got ran over by a train and decapitated. Now, after a train goes by, a mysterious light can be seen going down the tracks and even cross from side to side. Legend has it, it is the conductor looking for his head. I’ve never seen it since it is only after the train goes by that it comes out. My uncle swears that he saw it multiple times back in the’70’s or ‘80’s though.

Edit: Link to News2 story on the light

9. From vincent_vanhoe:

My grandfather on my mother's side has an eerie story about this. He drove trains back in the early 70s to the late 80s. He mostly stayed around the south east area where we live. One night while he was going through an intensely forested area he noticed that in the distance it looked really bright, like daytime. It was in the middle of the night, probably 3AM. He describes it like he was seeing the end of a cave.

So he keeps going on, hes not about to stop an entire train. He reaches the light about 2 minutes after he sees it, and it's simply daytime. He checks his clock and it still says 3am. He says there were clouds in the sky and everything. He goes past a nice barn and some farm land with cows and everything seems normal. He's blinking hard trying to figure it out, and then he goes back into some trees and its night again. Never happened again.

He did travel through that area again during the day and nothing seemed out of place other than the barn seeming a bit more weathered and there weren't any cows but that could just be because it was a different barn (old barns are common out here) he isn't a superstitious person, he's very skeptical about anything that's not science or religion so this story has always stuck with me.

Never explained.

10. From brewbaron:

Not driver but maintained rail side IT equipment.

Lightning strike so hard it vaporised all the copper/gold/solder off the server boards and deposited it 4" away on the server hut metal wall as a mirror sheen of metal.

Charred bits everywhere. Didn't need that half a million dollars worth of acoustic and laser wheel monitoring gear...

11. From seashmore:

A relative of mine is a depot clerk and some guys brought in 2 kittens they found in a boxcar. Young enough that their eyes hadn't opened yet. She ended up in a foster to adopt situation. Named the boy Carson because he's the son of a boxcar, and the girl Madison because that's where the train had come out of.

12. From mkugelfisch:

Not so strange but memorable: we went on school trips by train maybe a dozen or so times, mostly to Museums and the like. "We" always were excited when we passed a certain city, because right after the station there was a brothel right next to the tracks. The windows were facing the trains and there were always women sitting in the windows, smoking and talking to each other in various stages nudity.

That was boring and nobody cared anymore once students hit age 14 or so, but before that...you could see conversations stop and teens craning their necks once we left that specific train station just to get a glimpse of some boobs. After that it was back to business as usual.

Edit: It is late here, I didn't notice the question was for train drivers...I am not. I only rode the train...oh well.

13. From Trudar:

My uncle drove steam trains in the 70s and 80s (still on regular lines then in Poland, then). One day he was driving from Szczecin to Wrocław (from north-west to south, basically across the whole country), and as he stowed the engine on the yard, he goes around and finds a human hand tucked in the crevices of the front.

He was tired, definitely didn't want any trouble or anything, so he just threw it into the fire. Next day he found a story in a newspaper, that young man committed suicide on the tracks, near Szczecin, but they didn't find his arm. So he drove across whole Poland with it...

14. From McNobby:

I work on the railways in the UK, mainly in the north west of England, and I've seen some strange sh*t.

First would be years ago, doing some work near Liverpool when I get a shout from a mate to come and have a look at a fake Skeleton that someone had thrown over the wall. Turns out it was a real Skeleton of a man who had escaped the psychiatric ward of the nearby Hospital 10 years before.

Second - Doing some De-vegetation work, in a place called Parbold, cutting everything back to the boundary fence which is then supposed to lead on to unowned/council owned woodland. Cleared a big section of bramble and hawthorn to the fence and then through it we could see another mesh fence, about 25 metres long, but it also had a mesh roof so kind of cage like.

Interested, I jumped over to have a look and found it was in fact a giant cage somebody had built and it had 4 or 5 dog cages inside. Place looked like it hadn't been used in a while as it was heavily overgrown and I know it doesn't sound too strange but on top or next to every dog cage was a pile of clothes including shoes and other things that made it obvious the cages weren't used for dogs. Felt quite uneasy being there so we finished the job, went home and never went back.

Third - Found an old safe that looked as though someone had thrown off a bridge. Got the disc cutter on it to crack it open and guess what we found?... Dildos and Vibrators. About 15 of them. Weird.

Fourth - De-veg work again at Poulton le Fylde station. Cleared an overgrown area of railway land ready for a new loop line to put in. One of the houses at the back of this land had claimed it for themselves to extend their garden. Found they were using this garden extension for a sizeable weed crop. Obviously I ain't no snitch so I kindly let the fella know his crop is about to be replaced by railway track and that he should move it asap.

Fifth - Night shift in Kendal. Drove to an access in the middle of nowhere. Seen loads of cars parked up and thought it was weird as there were only meant to be a couple of lads turning up and they're always late. Get out my car anyway to go see what's what and end up interrupting a massive dogging session.

15. From illuxima:

Someone once threw some cow tongues impaled with nails and pins on the tracks in my hometown. The bomb squad came out and everything, and it was a pretty big deal for our small town. Here’s a news article about it.

16. From kaceinspace:

Not a train driver but former Wendy's employee who needs to share my story. Closing up at 11pm coworker goes out for smoke n comes back freaking out. There was a naked homeless guy laying in the middle of the track next to the store jacking off and screaming like he was in pain.

This track is often used as it runs straight through town (anyone heard of Ottawa Illinois? Soooo many trains) so we called the cops and he was completely unresponsive to them. Still screaming and jerking it, guys completely paralyzed all over stiff as a board. They call paramedics and they put him on a stretcher, still locked up jacking and screaming. Turns out dude was like a human crack rock and that's what he was...

17. From WhoAm_I_AmWho:

One of my colleagues had a double fatality...couple having sex on the tracks.

Only thing was, the coroner's report came out and the cause of death for the woman was not the train.

And time of death was approximated as an hour before the incident.

18. From CarsonWelles:

I don't drive trains, but I'm a track maintainer, so I'm often on track and we work closely with the train crews. That being said, most of my action happens in the city where we have a yard next to the "love tunnel".

Besides used needles and condoms, this tunnel has given us a bunch of goodies:

Two men, dressed as what aliens might think women look like, just reaming each other. Like legit, 20 pumps and switch kinda deal. At least they weren't selfish lovers.

A "heroin hang" where the peeps had an old ass cassette player. They just kept playing "You sang to me" by Marc Anthony, rewinding it, and playing it again.

A dead guy surrounded by a veritable pharmacy of pills.

Various women of the night.

And, when we showed up at night once, a seriously looking drug deal right in the middle of our yard. The dudes had set up a piece of ply wood near our scrap yard as a table, used old ties for chairs, and had a f*cking freezer ziploc of some powder on the table. We watched from our truck, but they didn't seem like the kinda fellas you politely ask to leave. They conducted their business in an orderly fashion and walked off towards the tunnel. Kudos for them.

I love that yard. I always feel like one of the kids from "Stand by Me" when I go there.

19. From 5h0ck:

This was a story from my grandmother. Great grand father ran a train. It hit a person walking the tracks. When it stopped, only the guys head was left on the front.

20. From Stammer55:

My husband was a train engineer and he'd often ride the trains on the night shift with the driver to check the fix had worked. They'd go along the same stretch of track and sometimes see the 'wizard'; a guy in a pointy hat looking out of his window wanking towards the trains.

A thread kicked off by comedy writer Ariane Sherine had people sharing the little misunderstandings that will change the way you look at KFC and Disney. Through the eyes and ears of a child, the world is a much more magical place, where "guerilla warfare" means monkeys in combat and "You Can Call Me Al" is "You Can Call Meow."

Come sing along to Madonna's "Like A Pigeon."

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Even the most amicable of divorces can get complicated in court, so it's hardly surprising that messy divorces often fan out into in long-winded and absurd scenarios.

While legal costs are high, it's hard to put a price on the satisfaction of watching your ex grovel for their favorite piece of furniture, and winning is more important to some divorcees than the actual value of the prize.

Obviously, it's more emotionally healthy to get on with proceedings without getting needlessly petty, but stories of ridiculous behavior tend to be more memorable than mature, cut-and-dry situations.

In a recent Reddit thread, divorce lawyers shared the most ridiculous things couples fought over, and it's a stone cold reminder that love can indeed turn to hate.

1. From ammjh:

Took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge. Estimated value of the groceries was around $40. Two hours of my time, opposing counsel time, and mediator time added up to about $1,000. It all came down to a Costco/Sam's Club sized jar of peanut butter. (Who keeps peanut butter in the fridge?!)

2. From lawschoollorax:

Our case fell apart over a massage chair.

They had two kids.

Couldn't let go of the damn chair.

3. From msc2436:

I had a couple arguing for three hours over who got the kids on Christmas day, only to discover at the end that they were both Jewish.

I had another woman who said that her husband drained $60K from their community bank account to pay for a sex change operation that he never told her he was planning to do.

4. From SlipperyDickeryDock:

I was a clerk for a law firm in Marin County. The husband grew weed in the house. The town was supportive and even let him redo his electrical panel to accommodate his crop. Long story short, in the divorce, she demanded half of the weed proceeds. Today it doesn't seem like a big deal, but 12 years ago I was shocked to see that in a court document.

5. From spaceflunky:

My dad was a divorce attorney for some time. He said people would argue over $150 patio furniture for hours on end at a $300/hr rate (each side).

It's not about the patio furniture, it's about sending a message to your b*tch of an ex-husband/wife.

6. From JournalofFailure:

I had a case where the estranged wife was calling my client's employer repeatedly, accusing him of theft and other white-collar crimes, to try getting my client fired.

The thing is, the children were with her, and she was also demanding child support. Which is based on his income. For the job from which she was trying to get him fired.

(Fortunately, the employer was onto her BS and my client wasn't let go.)

7. From TishraDR:

The ex-wife hid his artwork (works he had purchased long before the marriage) and in mediation she tried to sell it back to him.

8. From krp31489:

Not necessarily a crazy divorce story, but my dad is a lawyer and his friend has been married three times so my dad has been his divorce lawyer twice and his best man three times.

9. From MSK7:

My now ex-stepmother was getting an 80/20 settlement and refused to agree until the agreement was revised include a bag of old beer can koozies and a dry-rotted pool float. She was crazy which is why dad was paying her to go away.

10. From skinnymidwest:

I'm not a lawyer, but this is a story about my uncle and it's quite brilliant.

My uncle has been a lifelong Videographer and still works to this day as a news photographer. During the early to late 90's he stopped shooting news and started shooting freelance. This was before everyone and their mom (and their moms) had a camera/editing software/whatnot. Eventually he became a sought after photographer.

In the 80s when he was working as a news photographer he met and married a reporter/news anchor of which he would go on to have 2 children with. After leaving the news business to freelance he decided to start a video editing business with his wife. That went extremely well for a while and they were making money hand over fist. He would be asked to shoot for channels such as Food Network and HGTV, DIY, etc and then edit it into the show. She would work as the middle(woman) for his clients and as bookkeeper.

Eventually she would turn out to be a secret substance abuser and adulterer and their marriage ended in divorce. At this point my uncle was making a couple 100k a year with their business. She decided to sue him for alimony (mostly because he was worth a good chunk of change) but also because she helped him build his business. Her demands were ridiculous, something like 75% of the business for the next so many years or something crazy. My uncles lawyer was afraid she was going to win because she had played such a big role in building the biz.

Fast forward to court day, her lawyer stands in front of the judge and lists off what she wants in the divorce. Once he is finished it's my uncles turn. He blindsides her and offers to give her 100% of the business. The judge and both lawyers are confused and ask him if he is sure. Without him shooting and editing there is no business. So basically she would be left with a hell of a lot less than she asking for by asking for X amount of profits.

The judge reasoned that his offer was fair and that she could take it or leave it....she was pissed, her lawyer was pissed and she ended up getting nothing haha.

Tl;dr My uncle started a biz with his wife. She turned into a cheating drug addict. Divorce. She wanted x percent of profits from biz in divorce. He offers her the entire business (total awesome dick move). He is a photog/editor so she can't do sh*t with biz because she isn't a photog/editor. She gets nothing.

11. From FattyBinz:

I was in a mediation where it took the couple an hour and a half to split their personal property, retirement accounts, real property, and custody of their 6 month old son. The rest of the day, about 4 hours, was spent arguing about how to split the time with the dog. For the kid they just put, "as agreed upon by the parties" but the dog had a strict calendered schedule working out holidays and strict pickup/drop off times. I was ashamed to be a part of that unbelievable display.

12. From ohlalameow:

Not a lawyer but I work in a law office...we had a guy who cheated on his wife transfer all of his money (slowly over time) to his girlfriend before the wife found out about their affair and file for bankruptcy to avoid having to give his now ex-wife anything in the divorce.

13. From polarbobbear:

Not a divorce attorney but I clerked for a judge that handled divorce cases. We had a couple that were both lieutenant colonels in the Air Force.

They had one daughter that was about 11 or 12. Both had graduate degrees and were generally intelligent people. Well the husband had an affair and things went sour with the relationship. The daughter was at that age when her relationship with the mother was starting to get a little strained and she mentioned how she wanted to stick with her dad because he was about to be stationed elsewhere and the parents would be going their separate ways.

The mother absolutely freaked. The first thing she did was go to the local police department and claim the father had been molesting and raping the daughter. They investigated and couldn't find any evidence so they dropped the case. The mother still furious then goes to the Air Force Office of Special Investigations and reports the same thing. The Air Force then suspends the husband from duty and conducts their own investigation, same result no evidence of wrong doing and the case is dropped.

The mother then goes to the next state over where the husband is about to be transferred and contacts the local police there with the same story about molestation and rape. They of course do their own investigation but same result, case is dropped

Of course this whole time the daughter has been interviewed a dozen times by psychologists, various therapists, the police, the Air Force, and who knows else. The daughter is straight up traumatized by this. People constantly asking her if her dad had been touching her/raping her and so forth. Not to mention the harm it did to her father's career. He was basically screwed from any possible promotion just because of the allegations. As well as the fact that infidelity in the military is a big no no. But that was his own doing.

Well once word of all this gets back to the judge he is furious. He's a former Air Force Jag and still has contacts in the ranks. Well anyway the couple comes in front of him one day for a hearing and he outright tells her she better stop this behavior or he's going to hold her in contempt of court for the maximum amount of time he can lawfully hold her in a cell, contact the DA and recommend the filing of charges, contact her Air Force superiors and recommend reprimand to the fullest extent possible, and basically anything and everything he can do within his power.

It was one of the most messed up things I've seen during my relatively short experience in the legal world.

14. From cokesmurf:

When my parents got divorced, my dad had written in the divorce decree that my mother could not make any religious decisions for me, including regular church attendance, baptisms, etc. My mother was raised Mormon and my father was pretty adamant that I would not be raised in that religion too.

15. From ZaqRE:

Not a divorce lawyer just someone that has gone through a child custody battle and I had to tell my one great story under oath. Sit through this one Reddit. I can't make this sh*t up.

My ex and I had broken up and she decided to get an apartment 30 minutes away from where our apartment was. It's probably for the best so we'd never run into each other in public.

My ex is a 1st grade teacher and found a school to work for on that side of town. My daughter went to school there too, just to make it easier on her mother. I'd drive there and pick up my daughter from school every single day during the week because I work at 5am and got off at 1:30pm. I became good friends with all of the stay at home moms and would talk with them everyday after school while our kids ran off their energy on the playground. On my days off, I'd drop her off and just hang out on that side of town and get to try new restaurants, find new comic book shops, etc.

On one particular day, I decided to try Wee Man's Chronic Tacos for lunch. Now, what they don't tell you about Wee Man's Chronic Tacos is that you need to be within 30 minutes of a toilet after you eat it. I was on my way to get my daughter and I felt like I had to fart really bad. I just casually looked around and let loose in the car.

It was at this moment that I knew I had made a terrible mistake. Yes, Reddit...I sharted my pants 30 minutes from home, 10 minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. I had a simple decision to make: Go up there and get her anyway or make something up and come back later. I checked myself out and thankfully it didn't show through my jeans so I waited in my car until I heard the bell ring.

I went up there quickly and took my daughter aside: "Sweetheart, this is really embarrassing. Daddy had an accident. You can't play with your friends today. We need to go." Like a trooper, she understands and we leave.

Now, I told you that story to tell you this story. I left out one major detail above. The routine was: I'd pick my kid up, she'd play with her friends, her mother would come out to the playground and see her for a little while and then leave. On this particular day, I broke the routine. On the ride home, my phone is going off like crazy. My phone was on silent and needless to say, I wouldn't have answered it anyway. I get home and I have 20 missed calls all with voicemails.

Fast forward to our custody hearing. I've got 2 lawyers, she doesn't have 1. Without getting into too many details, it generally isn't going very well for her. She's desperate, really really desperate to make me look like an unfit parent. Representing herself while I'm on the stand, asks about what happened on that particular day. The day I kept her daughter away from her.

Reddit, I looked at my lawyers who I also had to tell this story because I saw this coming. They smiled and gave me that, "Well, go on." look. I had to tell the story about how I shit my pants after eating Wee Man's Chronic Tacos to a judge, a bayliff and a court stenographer. Mid-way through this story, the judge goes from looking at me with this piercing glare to covering her mouth trying soooo hard not to burst out into laughter. Seeing how well received my story was, my ex had no further questions. The judge ended my getting off the stand with "Well!... Now that that's on public record." I froze. "THAT'S ON PUBLIC RECORD?!? Oh man."

And that ladies and gentleman is why I tell this story now. If you were to look up my court case, there is an official version of this story somewhere on public record. I hope this is the kind of thing you were asking for OP. :D

16. From clumseey:

I was a clerk for a family court judge. We had a woman try to get an injunction to keep the father from taking the daughter on a trip to Disney world to play in a concert. It was sad.

17. From Karissa36:

This is a true story and it happened in New Jersey. Guy getting a divorce becomes suspicious and insanely jealous that his separated wife is having an affair. He secretly follows her to a bar and waits outside in his car. She comes out many hours later in the dark and follows another car to a house. Husband follows her, staying back, and parks down the block.

He gets out, sees the house her car is parked at, and goes around into the backyard. He's sneaking around looking in windows and finally opens a sliding glass door and enters the house. His wife and the guy she is with hear him moving around, lock the bedroom door, and call 911. He starts pounding on the bedroom door and shouting at his wife, and then the cops kick in the front door. The cops get everyone downstairs to sort this out. That is when the guy realized for the first time his wife was sleeping with his own divorce lawyer.

(The lawyer got in lots of trouble. Definitely one of the most entertaining ethical board decisions of all time.)

18. From shyRRR:

One of my uncles' ex-wives actually hired a hit man to kill my uncle so she could collect his life insurance. The hit man was actually an undercover cop. She did 4 years for the crime.

EDIT:

Okay so this was back in like 2000 or around then, but basically my uncle and his wife were in a rocky relationship and the end seemed inevitable. Anyways, we all knew they were fighting, and we all knew that the wife was pretty crazy (she isn't in our bloodline).

So one day my mom was at work and she sees this story on the front page of a newspaper about how someone with her same last name was going to be murdered by his ex-wife. She read it and realized that the person was indeed her brother.

It turns out that the ex-wife had been talking to an undercover cop for like 2 months, trying to figure out a way that she could kill her husband and not be traced. The cop obviously had a case going, but the problem was, there wasn't really any evidence at the time that was enough to put her away, or even charge her. So he kinda kept it going until she was being really serious about it.

Fast forward a couple weeks, and the cop told his buddies at the station what was happening. They show up and my uncles doorstep and they break the news to him. The only evidence that could actually do any damage to her was if she actually paid him money when it was done. What they ended up doing was taking my uncle out into a field, putting makeup on him, making it look like he was murdered, and photographed. Some CSI shit right here.

So the cop brings her the pics, and she pays him and he arrests her on the spot. It turns out all she wanted was his 150000+- dollar life insurance and custody of the two kids. 4 years of jail time seems pretty steep for just that if you ask me.

19. From grando205:

Not a divorce lawyer but my sister just went through a nasty divorce. It sounds like a movie you would see on LIFETIME. They split up after 28 years of marriage because he fell in love with a lesbian stripper half his age. He emptied their savings and borrowed against their 401k so the lesbian could start her own lesbian bar which was bankrupt after 6 months. There are many more sordid details which I'll go into if anyone is interested.

EDIT More Details...Since there's some interest. First of all, my now ex-brother in law is the least likely guy to do something like this. Imagine Mr. Cleaver (From Leave it to Beaver) cheating on Mrs. Cleaver. TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. My sister found text messages on his phone. The lesbian in question already had 2 children (yes, i know.. not a very good lesbian) and was pregnant at the time she met my bro-in-law. The lesbian would show up at his work approximately once a week and get a check even though she was not employed there. He bought her a car and rented a house for her for a year (paid in advance).

Even when all of this came out my sister wanted to reconcile. At the first, counseling session he gets up after 15 minutes and says something like "Nope, not gonna happen!" and leaves. So her divorce lawyer requests financial documents from his business to decide alimony and child support. I forgot to mention they have 4 children together; the youngest of which is in college right now. Anyway, he didn't want to release any of the financial documents pertaining to this business so my sis says "Fine, I get the house and car and you get all the debt." He agreed to that which makes me want to know what he's trying to hide by not releasing the documents.

Anyway the divorce was just finalized and my sister is devastated. This is the only man she's ever been with. They met in college and now 28 years later....Nothing. The worst part is...If he asked her, I wouldn't be surprised if she took him back. I would lose all respect for her and do my best to talk her out of it.

It was a real shock. I know that divorce is common but not in my family. Mom and Dad were married 49 years before mom passed and none of my numerous siblings went through a divorce. Big Scandal.

20. From Illuraptor:

My two favourites from working in a Legal Office:

1. Husband and wife get divorced, wife went into the marriage with her own house and three cars, him with nothing. She mortgaged the house in her name (as the bank wouldn't give her anything if his name was on it too) to let husband start a trucking business, buys all his trucks for him and pays off the mortgage herself. He becomes successful. They divorce, she just wants enough money from him to square her mortgage; he can have the business and everything else. He sells EVERYTHING to his friend for $10/next-to-nothing so that he's got nothing on his name and doesn't have to pay her squat. She's now going to lose the house.

2. Custody battle over two children. Father threatened the mother with a shotgun, cut her phone lines, got charged for assault on her. She flees town with the children. He demands she come back, and she agrees to visitation so the kids can see their father. During one visitation he punches her brother in the face at the changeover point and tries to steal the children. Visitation stops and he chucks a fit that she's "stealing his children" and "she's lying about being afraid of me! I did nothing!"

The Court psychologist signs off that he'd be an emotionally abusive sole parent. When the Court says "No" to his demands that he get sole custody, he verbally abuses the judge, his lawyer, his barrister, the psychologist, and the independent children's lawyer, IN FRONT of the entire Courtroom. He narrowly avoids arrest. And the whole time this case is going he's always yelling and screaming in the office that "The Court system is biased and only women get custody! It's a "Mummy's Court!" You're all sexist against men! Etc etc". No, you're just a Douche.

(EDITED BONUS) Man has wife and three kids, everything in his name. Finds a younger model. Dumps her by text message, changes the locks, and goes into hiding. Wife has a chronic illness that means she can't work, and now she's stuck with three kids, and to rub it in he's changed all the bills and payments to her name/mother's address and mailed her nearly $10,000 worth of accounts, and no one can find him.

Partying on Zoom has become the new normal for a lot of extroverted night owls.

If your weekends used to consist of loud, crowded bars and hourly shots of tequila you might be having a hard time adjusting to your friends in little squares as you sip wine on your couch in your sweatpants. Virtual work happy hours can get awkward if you get a little too tispy and forget to put yourself on mute in front of your boss and when you're also playing the role of bartender it's easy to get out of hand. Remember, you can still make drunken mistakes from the comfort of your home. You don't need to be out at a bar to have one too many glasses of wine and send your ex a video of you playing a sad ukelele cover...

Last week we brought you the funniest tweets we could find from people who are definitely planning to get a little tipsy on Zoom this weekend and this week is no different. Enjoy and stay safe!

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Family drama is fun...as long as the family isn't yours.

A woman who wants absolutely nothing to do with the daughter her father had from an affair very dramatically told her half-sister off on Facebook. She's now asking Reddit whether she did the right thing.

"(Am I The A**hole) for publicly telling my half-sister to stay out of my life?" the woman asked, and the story is juicy.

She wrote:

My half-sister has a weird obsession with me. She stalks me on my social media profile and acts like a deranged ex. I'm pretty popular on Instagram, where I also post my art, so making it private is not an option.

She is 17, and I haven't seen her in years. The last time I saw her, she was 12 and it was at my grandfather's funeral.

She's not keen on knowing her half-sister, who is product of an affair her father had while her mom was dying:

My biological father had an affair with one of my mum's friends when she was dying. It was sick and my poor mum found out about it 5 days before she passed away. The other woman was already pregnant with my half-sister.

I was 15 and old enough to know what that meant. I refused to live with my dad (courts allowed it) and started living with my maternal grandparents. My 2 older siblings were in college and they haven't talked to him in years.

We chose to keep them out of my life and we like it that way.

The half-sister won't take no for an answer.

Whenever I, my husband or my siblings make any sweet post, she literally spams the comments section with comments about us abandoning her and our biological father.

I keep blocking her, but she comes back with new IDs every time. I definitely think she is not in a good mental place, and needs help. Possibly professional help.

The showdown happened on Mother's Day.

The last straw was on Mother's Day, when I tried to post a beautiful tribute to my mom. I posted many pictures. Some of those pictures were beautiful family pictures and I edited my biological father out of them.

She commented about me posting edited pics and abandoning our father. It was a long post, and she actually posted several old family pictures in her account. That post got a lot of attention, and people started asking me about it.

Rather than delete the comments and block her half-sister, she wrote a harsh reply for everybody to see.

Only this time, I didn't delete her comment or block her. I replied under her post and asked her to stay away from my life. All this time, I avoided a confrontation because I believed she was young and misled by her parents. But as a 17 year old, she should know better.

This was my reply:

" I don't know about others, but for me and my siblings, just because our biological father decided to have sex with some rando, and cheat on our dying mum, doesn't mean we owe anything to him or the result of his indiscretions. Please respect our boundaries and leave my family alone. You are old enough to understand this and if it bothers you, consider therapy. This level of obsession with our lives is really unhealthy. I wish you and your family well. "

(Am I The A**hole)?

The comments were a mixed bag.

The most upvoted ruling says "Not The A**hole."

" If she wants to publicly shame you for a very reasonable choice then she can get a taste of her own medicine. You aren’t responsible for her or her father in any way, and have every right to keep them away," the juror wrote. They suggested taking legal action for stalking and defamation if the half-sister never leaves her alone.

The second most popular opinion is "Everyone Sucks Here."

"Her behavior is wrong and she clearly needs help. But she’s a kid. And yes, 17 is a kid, don’t anyone try to tell me you didn’t do dumb shit when you were 17 and get involved in drama you shouldn’t be involved in. Chances are, your sister doesn’t know the full story," Michaelmozden wrote.

People also criticized the OP's language.

"Calling her the result of an indiscretion is pretty cruel," bubisquid wrote in their Everybody Sucks Here opinion. "She didn't ask to be born, and 17 is still an age that can be incredibly unstable mentally. Just calling her a "result" is dehumanizing and you should understand that it's not okay to say that to a teenager (or anyone really)."

This story has an important lesson: think before you cheat on your dying wife. It will make things awkward for your offspring.

Also: don't cheat on your dying wife.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. "

-Bo Derek

If random packages show up at your door every day, you have your credit card number memorized, and your mailman is your BFF, you might be addicted to online shopping. While you're waiting for that next package to hit the doorstep, kill some time with these hilariously relatable online shopping memes.

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Remember when we all thought 2020 was going to be our year? Good times. By now, we've all come to the realization that this year is a giant dumpster fire. These hilarious memes perfectly nail how we're all feeling these days. Keep laughing and remember this won't last forever.

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"Laughter is wine for the soul - laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness - the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living."

-Sean O'Casey

Laughter is magical. If you want to make your bad feelings disappear, there's no trick to it. Just enjoy these funny memes and laugh until you forget about your problems for a few minutes.

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"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

-Herm Albright

If you really want to make the haters mad, enjoy your life. Laughing at these memes will boost your mood and brighten your day.

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People who refuse to vaccinate themselves and their children not only put their own families at risk, but other families as well. But despite contributing to the spread of dangerous diseases, most "anti-vaxxers" are driven not by a desire to make people sick, but by ignorance, misinformation, and fear. And oftentimes, the right combination of circumstances and education can help them change their minds.

Someone asked former anti-vaxxers of Reddit: "what caused you to change your mind?" These 15 people share what made them realize being against vaccines was not such a wise idea after-all:

1.) From Xincandescent:

I was a teenager and used to believe that if I got sick, my immune system would handle it and make me stronger. Like most youth, I believed I was invulnerable. I figured, thousands of years of ancestors had survived without vaccines, and so could I.

It was years before I realised that before vaccines, people didn't just "heal the viruses away" - most of them died or were crippled by illness their whole lives.

EDIT: Surprisingly, I was a well educated kid. I loved human biology, and aced the test on the immune response. I still remember terms like macrophages and leucocytes. I knew how vaccines worked, yet despite this I had this flawed logic that if I got a full-strength illness, I'd develop a full-strength response. In my quest to grow stronger and find my limits, I would have dipped myself in every sickness known to man, giving myself a week or two to heal, until eventually I was immune to everything. God I was dumb.

2.) From alphafrick98:

I don’t really know why I didn’t like the idea of vaccines but I didn’t until my girlfriend had gotten pregnant and then I stepped on a rusty nail. Like the only way to stop tetanus is the vaccine.

Edit: my girlfriend was pregnant and asked what I would do if my daughter picked up tetanus after I told her I stepped on rusty nail was unaware how tetanus or really any vaccines work if that gives an incite to antivaxxers(not all but yeah)

3.) From cavscout43:

Hard to say, but, reading. Honestly.

I was on the elderberry/colloidal silver/whatever natural bullshit flavor of the week in my late teens - early twenties.

Could dig up some obscure study from the 1960s to support it, "well flu shots aren't 100% effective, what's the point? Have you see all the people who get sick from it?" etc. etc.

Simply put, I had bad advice from some of my father's vitamin shop, Libertarian, naturopath, whatever friends.

In grad school I took more statistics classes, keep reading about data analysis, started to learn what significant sample sizes meant, common logical and statistical fallacies and...surprise...most antiscience nonsense doesn't hold up empirically at all. There's just no data to support it, and requires torturing of statistics and misrepresentation to defend their case.

Luckily I don't have some epic story of a family member dying from a preventable disease, but it's still embarrassing to think back how arrogantly I was convinced I was more clever than the actual doctors and scientists.

4.) From taggert14:

My now wife was an anti-vaxer. I generally go with what she says most of the time because I cannot be bothered to argue. However, when we were discussing getting married and having kids I was surprised at how strongly I felt about. I was prepared to walk away from the love of my life rather than not vaccinate . I gave all of the reasons (I'm from a third world country and she is European. I have seen too much shit from a lack of vaccination program to sit on the fence on this).

She came around. When our first was born he was quite ill. I don't think we were in danger of losing him but just that tiny bit of danger reiterated the point of protecting them and others from illnesses. My wife is now more on top of the vaccination dates for our kids than I am.

A friend of hers had a baby recently and expressed some anti vaccination sentiments. My wife calmly told her that not only would she be putting her own kids in danger but that she would be weaponising her child against others.

Quite a turnaround

5.) From incompetentegg:

I have a whackjob grandmother who believes in all the pseudoscience health bs. Crystal healing, electromagnetic communications cause cancer, vaccines are bad, eat apricot pits to cure cancer, the whole 9 miles. When I was a kid she tried to teach me all of this stuff like it was gospel, and I believed her because I was a kid and why would my grandmom be wrong about something?

Unfortunately for her the minute I turned like, 7, I got a huge hyperfixation on biology and quickly learned that all the stuff she spouted was utter bs. I'm autistic, and I was like the stereotypical autistic kid where they just know a f*ckton about one particular subject and devour any kind of learning material related to it they can get their hands on (I'm actually still like that... except now I can get a degree for it). It was not hard for me to realize that none of the things she believed made any sense, even as a kid.

6.) From kripsykreamy:

I met my MiL who is the ultimate antivaxxer and realized how f*cking crazy she sounds and I didn’t want to end up like.... that. also i have a baby daughter who i would like to live a long healthy life.

7.) From NomNom_nummies:

My ex husband was a very controlling person and did not want our kids to get vaccines. I was always so scared knowing my kids had no protection. One day one of our kids scraped themselves on a fence and the school called me. I snapped and took them straight to an urgent care for a tetanus shot and just started secretly getting all my kids vaccines. We eventually divorced and now all my kids are fully caught up.

8.) From bigheadsmolbrain:

I was a stereotypical, naturalistic vegan type. Didn't believe in essential oils or crystal healing or anything. Just believed (mistakenly) that you couldn't beat nature and that vaccines were messing around with my baby's natural immunity growth. I believed they were an unnecessary risk. I knew my decision was controversial so I kept it quiet, I wouldn't have been out campaigning or splashing it all over social media, it was a private decision.

I held off until he was 2. We don't routinely vaccinate for chickenpox here in the UK so he got it which is expected. However he got a bacterial infection on top and had to spend a night in hospital. Nothing too traumatic but I realised I didn't have the balls to play nature v. medicine anymore.

9.) From BrilliantlyDepressed:

Not me, but my cousin. She was extremely anti-vax for most of her life, and she refused to vaccinate her kids when they were born. Her 2nd baby caught whooping cough, passed it to her 1st kid, and they both almost died. According to her, nearly losing her kids made her realize that she was an idiot for not vaccinating them

10.) From TaraLynnSmith:

I realized my reasons to anti-vax were actually rooted in anxiety (result of childhood trauma) and not because I was against vaccinating. The process started a little over a year ago, I just had my 3rd, and I was homeschooling my eldest (kindergarten). The initial push to dealing with it was the regret of not being able to enroll my eldest in public school, and my newborn being at risk by having unvaccinated siblings. I took a hard look at my choices and why I hadn’t vaccinated my first 2, and every last one was because of fear and guilt. I found a rock star pediatrician who didn’t once judge me, and got all my kids caught up. I have 3 fantastic kids that are now fully vaccinated, and I am successfully on the road to recovery so I can be the best person I can be for my kids. They deserve it!

11.) From MyMumSaidICantGo:

Not me, but my nonna. She’s always been into oils, healing rocks, potatoes in socks, all that weird shit. When I was sick, she would give me a bath and run her hand right above my skin, from head to toe, to “draw out the sickness”. When my youngest cousin was born, she practically moved into my aunts house and went everywhere with them. When she took him to get his shots, my nonna started fussing with the pediatrician and he just talked. All he did was explain shit to her, and she finally understood how batshit she sounded.

She still firmly believes that my cat is gonna steal my first-born’s breath, but we’re working on it.

Edit: For those asking, she would cut a potato into slices and stick a slice in each of my socks when I was sick. In the morning they were supposed to be black, meaning they had drawn out whatever toxins were in my body.

12.) From eyeintheskyonastick:

Well, after years of deluding myself into the belief that vaccines were evil, I finally hit the wall. I learned more about vaccines and why they were really necessary. I think it was my fear of the unknown that prevented me from seeing that science saves lives. I had a really good teacher in that regard and it ended up being a pretty great time in my life. I mean, on top of realizing that shots weren't bad things, I started getting an allowance and my 10th birthday party was f*cking lit.

13.) From WikThorKun:

I was caught into the antivax propaganda after my younger sister was said to have autism. Reddit Helped me change my mind, with People providing evidence of antivax's stupidity.

14.) From Thereisapapercup:

The research changed.

I had my eldest shortly before Wakefield was debunked. When internet forums were way more common than Facebook and mommy blogs were all the rage a La Julia and Julia.

It was also about the time the cdc proactively began removing thoramine thimerosal from vaccines, just. In. Case.

The pediatricians didn't fight me on it.

I met and married my husband and he was pro vaccine. Wakefield was multi-disproved and we started a delayed schedule.

Then it came out that he was being paid for his results And he was developing a different measles vaccine.

My next 2 were fully vaccinated on schedule.

15.) From fuckermcgavin:

Coronavirus . I’ve never feared for my life before. This pandemic made me realise what it would have been like in the days of polio

16.) From xanathars-guide:

My mum told me last week when we were talking about a COVID-19 vaccine that she nearly didn't have my brother and I vaccinated - I was shocked, because she was a nurse for years and years, and she now stresses the importance of getting our yearly flu vaccinations and pushes my needle-phobic dad to get his.

Basically, when she was doing her nurse training back in the early 70's, she did a few weeks on the only ward in the country at the time for people with profound and multiple disabilities (PMLD). The majority were born with PMLD or had them as a result of oxygen deprivation at birth, but she was told that a handful of them developed them following "vaccine injury" (not sure if this is a medically accepted term but those are the words she used) from a single bad batch of vaccines for Measles and Rubella, I think.

By the time my brother and I were born in 1988 and 1990, she was still affected by what she'd seen back in the 70's, and although she'd seen the progress in vaccinations and there were no more reports of these "bad batches" of vaccines, she didn't allow them to give us our first vaccine doses on time. It wasn't until my aunt (also a trained nurse) showed her the latest stats and research about vaccines that she reluctantly decided to have us vaccinated. I was one year old at the time and scheduled for the MMR jab (it was the MR vaccine that she was told caused these "vaccine injuries"), and she was very reluctant to go ahead with it but ultimately agreed that both my brother (2 and a half at the time) needed to catch up on all our vaccines. She didn't take us to get them, she sent my dad instead (again, needle-phobic) and he and I apparently cried the whole time.

She told me that she'd glad she decided for us to get the vaccines as we've been mostly healthy since then, and if it hadn't been for our aunt we might not have ever been vaccinated.

In times like these I especially miss the sweet, ignorant innocence of youth! I wish I could go back to thinking there were "monsters" under my bed, and not just a bunch of dust bunnies that I've been procrastinating cleaning for 6 years.

Someone asked Reddit: "what was the biggest misconception that you had as a child?" These 27 adults share the funniest things they believed when they were kids:

1.) From Yeet_machine27:

Underneath the floor of a building was just an endless void. I thought people who replaced floors were incredibly brave so I always told my parents I wanted to replace floors.

2.) From thenewfrontiersman88:

That people of other races just had different levels of being tanned.... found out in the mall that I was wrong

3.) From MMMLG:

I thought having a job was just you picking a company you like, waltz in, find an empty spot and start doing something. I had no concept of interviews, tests, and all the paperwork involved.

4.) From TheBlackWomb:

My Mam always told me that if I got lost or separated from her while out in public and couldn't find a police officer, I should seek out the nearest woman with children. Her reasoning was obviously that another mother would be a good kind of stranger to talk to, much more likely to help and less likely to harm a lost child.

My reasoning, however, was that if I somehow never found my own Mam again, I could and would just go home with the woman and have new siblings to play with so I wouldn't get lonely.

5.) From tengolacamisanegra:

All that you needed to do to get pregnant was get married.

6.) From rogerriddle:

I thought a potluck was where everyone brought food to a party and put it all in one giant pot. Then you would scoop out a plateful and whatever you got was your luck.

7.) From BrilliantPassion1:

If you missed an exit on the highway you would basically end up in a different state

8.) From beautyinburningstars:

I thought being fired from work meant that the fired person gets killed. Every time my mom would tell me and my sisters not to bother her or she could get fired from work (she partially worked from home), I assumed that her boss would come into her office and literally shoot her. I was so terrified that my mom would get in any trouble at work.

9.) From jennybelly:

I thought that if I tilted my head to one side for a picture, it made me look “sexy” (god knows what I thought sexy meant back then) but it was only something naughty girls did. So I would wait until right before the pic was taken, and then quickly tilt my head right as the shutter went off.

10.) From Shinespark7:

I would bury coins in my backyard so I could dig them up next year and be rich....because buried treasure.

11.) From biqaza:

For whatever reason I always thought limes were just unripe lemons. When I was in my early twenties I went to buy a lemon tree and was so confused to see the had lime and lemon trees. I feel like an idiot everytime I think of it.

12.) From miskaii:

Down syndrome was when you were really sad. I thought you could say something like ‘looks like you got a case of down syndrome’ to your crying friend.

13.) From growol:

That there was absolutely no way I’d ever get to be as old as the adults in my life. For some reason it seemed more likely to me that I could become a dog than that I could age into even a fifteen-year-old.

14.) From Cookieman996:

THE MOON IS CHASING US

15.) From OhioOhO:

My parents weren't raised in the US, but they tried to make sure my siblings and i got the whole American experience so they tried introducing us to Christmas and even sent us to Christian summer camps. For some reason, this caused a sort of confusion in my mind and I thought Santa was God and I was never corrected because my parents didn't understand Christianity or Christmas.

16.) From elanaviles:

I thought that babies are born from cabbage

17.) From Bleep_bloink:

That my dad just always knew the way. On vacation, in unfamiliar cities, everywhere.

I learned about maps and reading road signs later...

18.) From 11001010jesuS:

That not everyone has a sister. I was certain that everyone had a sister like me and when I went to a friends house to sleep over I was dumbfounded that his sister wasn’t there?? His parents ended up showing me a picture of some random kid and told me that was my friends sister just to shut me up.

19.) From your8yearoldcumsock:

I though people hid inside atms and gave people the money

20.) From LifeOfPlatypus:

That everyone I ever heard about was from my country. Eminem? French. The Pope? French. The Rolling Stones? French, of course. Elizabeth II? Congrats, you're now the Queen of France.

21.) From ElderLyons2277:

my aunt convinced me for a full year that a place known as "Wally World's Chapstick Emporium" existed. A year later, i asked my mom if I could go to Wally worlds Chapstick emporium. she said "whats that?" and I said my aunt told me about it. Come to find out, it was just walmart

22.) From impulsekash:

People actually died in movies

23.) From Snuffleupagus03:

I thought women were cold blooded animals and men were warm blooded. Because my mom was usually cold and my dad usually warm.

24.) From IEmmaUnicorn:

That trees made wind. Trees would move and their movement makes the wind! I Honestly love that I used to believe this, it's so innocent.

Also, that if you saw the clouds move it was actually the world spinning. As in the clouds would stay still, and world was turning.

25.) From tentwelve420:

You could get pregnant by kissing

26.) ​​​​​​​From not-rainbow-rhythms:

I thought that men had two separate sacks for their testicles.

When I gave my first hand job I thought my BF had an accident and then had them sewn together.

Personally I blame all the pen is graffiti -shot led me to believe that's what they looked like

27.) ​​​​​​​From KaiserSoze-is-KPax:

All dogs were males, all cats were females

28.) ​​​​​​​From lixo_humano_97:

I thought Adults couldn't run because I've never saw my parents running.

29.) ​​​​​​​From Paranoid_ForLife:

In the song that goes “I saw mommy kissing santa claus” I straight up thought that the kid caught the mom cheating on their dad lol

30.) ​​​​​​​From conceptsof:

The older you get, the more fingers you will grow.

Also women lay an egg each month, but it can take them by surprise, so restaurants have paper bags for women to store their egg in.

31.) ​​​​​​​From AstroWorldSecurity:

Adults just automatically had their shit together.

Re, #30: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Families lie to kids for all kinds of reasons. Maybe they want to protect them. Maybe they want to cover their own asses. Or maybe they want to preserve the "magic" of Christmas. Whatever the reason, at a certain point kids are bound to find out the truth. And depending on the size and nature of the lie, they may or may not be discussing it in therapy many years later. And what's cheaper than therapy? Anonymous online forums!

Someone asked Reddit: "what’s a fact that was hidden from you as a child?" These 18 people share the secrets that were hidden from them and the lies that were told to them as kids.

Family, amiright?!?

1.) From pm-a-surprise:

It is actually not the official policy of Wonderland (large amusement park outside of Toronto) that you are only allowed to visit once per year.

I'm not mad, I actually think it was hilarious that my parents convinced us of this.

2.) From brokenturle:

Birthday Suits are not real suits

Growing up in a household where the attire was a cross between business attire and church clothes I always assumed the term Birthday Suit was a special tailored suit that was given to you in your birthday.

3.) From Senplis:

Info about my biological dad. Like at first he abandoned me cause he didn't want me, then I was told he was dead, then I was told he did leave but not because he didn't want me but because somebody put a hit out on him and that one turned out to be true.

4.) From texasbornandraised95:

My sister is my half sister, my parents still haven't told me or her.

5.) From Buroda:

There isn’t a trade-in program to bring in old legos to get new ones. Some f*cker just stole all my legos from our parked car and my parents told me this so I would not be sad.

I hope he experienced the small parts choking hazard himself, the c*nt

6.) From SinisterParad0x:

That i wasn't the first child from my father. I was number 4.

7.) From 50shades_of_red:

My mom told me and my sisters that McDonald's stopped serving honey with the chicken nuggets. Later as we became adults we were astounded to find out that they did in fact had honey and never stopped serving it. (Her reasoning was the sticky mess)

8.) From th3_warth0g:

That I had a half sister and didn’t know until I was 15.

I plan to see her for the first time in 20 years next year possibly

9.) From kingof-potatos:

My grandfather had two wives and everyone knew about his other family.

10.) From a_little_sunshine:

I have a whole half family living in the same town as me - found this out one day by talking to the lady who was doing my nails. Turns out she was my half cousin.

11.) From MysticMania:

My parents really didn’t want children and they regretted having me.

12.) From Atomic_Chad:

That f*cking around with the interior lights while in a moving vehicle is actually legal... It's just annoying.

13.) From nose_face:

That an uncle of mine was gay. He, his boyfriend, and his boyfriend's son would always come on holidays with my family, and sometimes I'd see them holding hands or doing couple-y stuff, so I asked my grandma if they were dating. She vehemently denied it and told me they were just best friends. It didn't even occur to me that my grandma could be lying about something like that so I just believed her and until I was old enough to see that, I just trusted that they were buddies. My brother was told that my uncle was the boyfriend's son's babysitter and that's why they always came on holidays with us, so yeah. What makes it extra weird is that it's not like anyone really cares about him being gay, he's not the first one in my family (and defo not the last).

14.) From Rise-of-the-Aquarius:

That my father actually wanted to be in my life, but my mother put him in a position where he felt he couldn't fight to be there. I grew up believing my dad didn't want me and that he left my mom before I was born because she got pregnant. The truth was that when she got pregnant, she decided he was too immature to be a father, even though they were the same age and equally dumb, and broke up with him. When he showed up after I was born, she got my grandparents to answer the door for her and tell him that he'd need a lawyer to see me because he'd need to file for custody. He was just a stupid 19 year old kid. He couldn't afford a lawyer for a custody battle and neither could his parents.

15.) From VestertheArgus:

My paternal grandmother was actually my father's step mother, his bio mother having died a fortnight after giving birth due to complications such as penicillin did not exist yet.

Didn't find out 'til I was 19.

16.) From calcaneus:

My parents were gardeners. We were pretty f*cking poor, so we did subsistence garden and ate out of that garden most of the summer, and fished for protein. BUT they also grew this herb, which looked a lot like tomato plants. Which is what I thought it was, except it never grew tomatoes, and was kept in a separate garden. I did finally catch on, but it took a while.

17.) From Sir_Puppington_Esq:

That my parents both fooled around/f*cked other people before meeting each other. But apparently, just being transparent and not-a-big-deal about that kind of thing was less important than "You shouldn't have premarital sex because it's against God's covenant." Ok, cool, glad you got to have a fun adolescence and THEN decide to take your religion seriously.

Getting that little revelation was the last nail in the coffin of me turning away from organized religion.

18.) From Discount-Tent:

That the ice cream man wasn't in fact playing his jingle to indicate that he had run out of ice cream.

Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest are fed up with people commenting on their appearance when they record their TV show, "Live with Kelly and Ryan," at home during lockdown.

While most comments on their social media accounts are positive, some cranky fans have taken issue with everything from their hair to their "shiny" complexions.

Not to mention back-handed compliments.

But in a video posted to Live's Instagram this weekend, Ripa in particular fought back.

"We're all trying our best," the video is captioned. It starts with Seacrest mentioning the comments:

People love to comment on the home edition of the show. a couple people might have said that every once in a while we're shiny in our DIY show process.

Then, Ripa goes off:

Let me just say that to people commenting on our appearance: how dare you? And you're lucky that we actually put clothes on, okay? Because it's harder than you think to roll out of bed and come to a TV show. It's counter-intuitive. I'm this close to just pulling the laptop into the bed.

She continues, as Seacrest laughs:

But I'm not gonna do that because I keep telling myself, "You're professional and this is still a TV show and the days still matter." It's kind of like my mantra.

Then, she compliments Seacrest on his glam:

Having said that, I believe that you [Seacrest] are wearing bronzer and I think it looks rather fetching on you and I believe that you are wearing terra cotta, if I'm not mistaken.

Ripa also goes on to talk about how makeup sales are struggling during lockdowns:

They're saying that makeup sales are down 22% because while people are busy critiquing how we look on camera, they're not bothering with the basics ... I for one have not ordered makeup, I'm just using what I have. Some of it I'm sure is probably toxic, it's probably way past its expiration date. I don't care. I just have a new outlook on life. Certain things don't matter anymore and my appearance is one of those things that just don't matter.

Fans applauded Ripa for speaking out.

Still, some fans don't think it's appropriate for celebrities to complain about their beauty woes right now.

Even in quarantine, everybody's a critic.

Couples are getting into a lot of mundane arguments in lockdown, but this pair took it one step further by engaging in a weightlifting contest that might have led to the end of their relationship.

Now, the girlfriend is asking the internet if she was in the wrong for lifting way more weight than her boyfriend and then "embarrassing" him in front of another guy.

Their relationship is pretty new:

I (30F) met this guy (28M) in January and he became my BF in February. Comes March, the world goes down the drain and we decided to move in together for the time of the pandemic. Everything is great.

The problems began when they saw an online post where a woman beat her boyfriend at arm wrestling:

In the morning, we have this routine where he browses Reddit and gives me the highlights. A few weeks ago, he shows me a post where this guy is challenged to an arm wrestling competition by his GF. The guy didn't seem to have any sort of training/work out whereas his GF did.

He then mansplained to her about why all men are stronger than all women, and she expressed her doubts:

I commented he might have a surprise. My BF started educating me on biology and how men are stronger than women. I told him there were way too many factors to take into consideration to make such a broad comment. I have been doing weightlifting for 2 years and my BF has never seen a gym in his life, so I used us as an example. That was a BIG mistake.

He refused to believe she could have a point:

He got really defensive and condescending, and made comments like "That's cute." I just let it go.

Fast forward to yesterday. He's playing some game with his friend (online) and I can clearly hear him talk about me. Well curiosity killed the cat.

Then she overheard him telling his friends that there's no way she's stronger than him:

At first it's all pretty and my ego is bursting, but then he says I'm delusional because I think I'm stronger than him. Pause. "Seriously? I know I'm weak but not weaker than a girl." So later, I decide to call him on his BS. I asked him if he wanted to come workout with me the next day (this morning) so he can show me how strong he is. He accepted and I was happy because I had been dying to bring him and initiate him to something I'm passionate about.

They headed to a socially distanced gym to duke it out:

So, this morning, we went to my friend's (27M) garage (my region allows groups of 10 or less and we wipe everything). I told him we're gonna do deadlifts. It's my favorite exercise and I was already planning to test my personal best so it was perfect.

The boyfriend had to stop deadlifting at 185 pounds but the girlfriend made it to 265:

My friend was there cause he corrects my form and it's been our Sunday ritual since Covid-19. We started light and slowly worked our way up, doing the same number of reps as the other. Comes 185, his form starts to crumble so we made him go lighter. But 185 really isn't that much for me so I kept stacking the plates. He looked very supportive and impressed the whole time. I ended up beating my personal best at 265. I was ecstatic and so were they.

But he wasn't happy for her:

When we got in the car, he was very silent. I assumed he was just tired. We got home and that's when he exploded and asked me if I was proud of myself. Apparently, I humiliated him in front of my friend. I apologized. I didnt realize he was feeling that way. He got angry and said it really changed the way he saw me, like I'm less of a woman now. He stormed to the basement.

Now they're not speaking and she's wondering if she messed up:

I started collecting my things, but now I'm wondering if I should have been reading between the lines and stopped at 190 or something. Or just dropped it and never suggested we workout together? I knew very well I was stronger than him but I just had to prove it to him. [Am I the a-hole]?

The people of Reddit overwhelmingly agree that she did nothing wrong and her boyfriend is a giant baby.

User whyyallsodumb is staunchly team girlfriend:

LOL.. this is hilarious and congrats on your personal best. You don't need a physically stronger man, but you definitely need an emotionally stronger man, because that's where your BF is weak. You shouldn't have apologized for being better at something you work at than he is. That's your only error here. He wanted to shit talk and brag when he didn't deserve it. Don't EVER make yourself less to placate the insecurity of anyone.

NotAllOwled pointed out that the boyfriend is lazy and resting on the laurels of his gender:

It must be rough for him to lose that cozy sense of unearned superiority. I'm imagining him smiling indulgently at OP when she talks about workouts and thinking, "It's so sweet that she works so hard just to be ... however strong she is, while I, a man, could easily best her at any time with no training! Ah, it's good to be king."

VegaBruja81 made a spectacular pun:

I don't work out and I don't know what deadlifts are. But I know what deadweight is when I see it.

Tungstenkrill added on:

Her boyfriend didn't know squat.

And lumimarja summed up exactly why the boyfriend was the a-hole every step of the way:

Your bf accepted the challenge and then got upset when you beat him. And then he insuted you by saying he somehow thought you were a less of a woman. Sounds like he has a poor self-esteem, is a sore loser and suffers from fragile masculinity.

In the end, the woman posted an update thanking everyone for their input — and it sounds like the relationship is (thankfully) over:

Update: I still didnt get a word of him but since some of you asked, I will make sure to update you when he does. Thank you for the overwhelming response. That was a bit of a rollercoaster day but it made it easier to know I'm not completely in the wrong.

It's not a shock to anyone that a lot of marriages these days end in divorce.

Choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone is a huge commitment and sometimes it's hard to anticipate how much people will change and grow outside of the marriage. In an ideal situation, two people make each other better and continue to do so through all of life's challenges. Realistically though, relationships take a lot of compromise and hard work that sometimes is just more effort than the marriage is actually worth. Unfortunately, butterflies, rose-colored glasses, and teen paranormal romance novel-level obsession fades eventually and if you don't have a strong foundation to stand on, you might have to call it quits.

While most of the reasons people get divorced have to do with financial stress, affairs, or disagreements about children, sometimes you hear a reason a couple decided to split that is so unique it's both hilarious and shocking. Couldn't stand the way he snored? Didn't like how long she showered? Time for a divorce, I guess. Luckily for our entertainment, divorce lawyers hear it all...

When a Reddit user asked, "Divorce lawyers, what is the most ridiculous reason your client filed divorce for?" people were ready to share about their craziest cases.

1.

He didn’t help her put up a shower curtain. - Abogada77

2.

My boss just got divorced. His wife was telling people one of her reasons was the amount of toilet paper he used. She was a super coupon clipper thrifty lady and would listen when he went to the bathroom to see if he was using "too much tp" - dizzylyingdown

3.

He loved his pinball machine collection more than her. - stervenjerbs

4.

Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they’d rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day. - [deleted]

5.

I had a client file for divorce because every morning his wife would ask him how he takes his coffee...for seven years. - BlankSmitty

6.

One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy. -RavenHairBeauty

7.

She spent $42,000 on psychic hotlines. Notable, she then wouldn’t accept any of our offers, and I continuously asked her lawyer to provide counter-offers...shouldn’t her psychic have told her how the case would turn out?!? Lol. - Jdoc1121

8.

My neighbor filed for divorce because he smacked his lips when he ate and slurped his coffee and soup. She thought if she didn't she would end up in jail for battery. - mollymuppet78

9.

I had two couples come to me.

They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.

Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.

The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.

The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.

A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier. - atonyatlaw

10.

Husband and Wife were married for 15 years, and Husband started being less and less intimate with Wife.

He cheated on her with another woman, and his rationale was that he didn't know if he was impotent or it was just his wife and wanted to find out. - AverageLad24

11.

Saw a divorce where the defendant stopped cooking, and when the petitioner gave the defendant money for food (80's, so was phrased as "housekeeping money"), the defendant would disappear for two weeks and play bingo. The defendant also 'Lost interest in the child"

The bingo comment and stopping cooking comment will forever be ingrained in my head. - skunky_x

12.

He was still living with his mom - Jakester579

13.

Client said her husband was dealing meth... well technically “cooking” meth - NotYourAverageScot

14.

Wife was having an affair and husband killed the boyfriend. Life in prison for premeditated murder. Then they got divorced. -SandmanD2

15.

I have a client whose wife filed for divorce because my client hasn’t successfully quit smoking yet. - MissColombia

16.

Married for almost 10 years. He claimed she was too old for him and kissing her was like kissing his great aunt. -GinGold444

While it's normal for your fashion sense to evolve with time, picking out clothes is a very personal experience, and being pressured to dress a certain way based on your age or social circle can hamper honest expression.

It should go without saying that clothing has no gender, and anyone should wear whatever they want, so long as it makes them happy. Nonetheless, clothing marketed towards men tends to be more limited in style and color, while the ocean of clothes for women is often prescriptive based on age.

The immense pressure of beauty standards often urges young women to bare all in the sexiest ways, while punishing women over middle age for showing even an ankle. It's a gross double standard that shows just how fickle and disdainful our culture is towards female bodies, and how even the fashion industry views women's bodies as public property.

Navigating these conflicting and rapidly changing messages is bad enough without partners and friends confirming that your body has an expiration date. Which is to say, insinuating a woman is too "old" to wear something is untactful at best, and sexist and degrading at worst.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a husband asked if he was wrong for sewing his wife more modest clothing now that's she's gained weight and is "older" (he soon revealed she is only 27, which is very young).

AITA for changing the style of clothing I design for my wife to suit our age, fitness, and image?

OP shared that him and his wife have been together for seven years total (since she was 20 and he was 26). While his job isn't in fashion, OP has sewed his own clothes for 15 years, and has always made his wife garments as well.

I'm 33M and my wife is 27F. I've been making clothing for about 15 years. My actual profession has absolutely nothing to do with garment creation, but my whole family was super into fine arts and fashion so I learned how to sew with my sisters.

During the first few years of dating and marriage, OP sewed his wife bodycon dresses and clothing with plunging necklines, and his own style was a lot more playful.

I've been married to my wife for 5 years. We only dated for 2 years before marriage. In the years we were dating, I made my wife "young" clothing: shorter dresses, very bright colored clothing - with plunging necklines, etc. My wife and I were both in shape and my designs reflected that. We were also "no ones" in terms of social status. I was only making 50k at the time.

However, now that they both make more money, are less fit (according to OP), and hang out with a more conservative crowd - OP has started sewing more modest and conservative fashion.

I now make over 200k annually and my wife makes around 150k. We have not lost our jobs in the current crisis. We have more conservative friends, we're a bit older now, and we're definitely not in our best shape. I've replaced my wife's bodycon designs with more conservative fashion - knee- and ankle-length dresses, bishop + juliet sleeves, higher necklines, etc. I think the clothes I make are still fashionable.

When they were recently looking through photos, OP's wife noticed the changes in their current style, and asked OP why he never made her clothing in those cuts anymore.

My wife noticed these changes recently when looking through old photos. She asked why I don't make her new clothing like that anymore, as the old pieces don't fit. When I explained my reasoning she was extremely angry.

When OP explained the shift is largely because they're older, more moneyed, and less fit, his wife was understandably upset.

My perspective is that I make the clothing and she pays nothing. She almost never has to purchase clothing because of my hobby - I pay for the fabric and can make whatever she asks for.

AITA for changing my designs?

mantiwakofta finds it bonkers that OP is acting like this when his wife is in her 20s.

Come on. She's 27 not 57. YTA.

Highclassbada*s finds OP's perspective on "getting older" wildly toxic.

Lol YTA: “ No honey! You don't get bright colors anymore, you’re a decrepit, flabby Hag at the age of 27!”

Not_Cleaver noted that OP's wife could technically buy her own clothes, but that doesn't change the fact that his behavior is bizarre.

YTA - Dear God in heaven do you sound absolutely pretentious and shallow.

I suppose she could always buy fashions to suit her. But come on. It’s not up to you to police her fashion/style.

youngndumb101 thinks OP should have talked with his wife before changing all of the designs.

YTA, even though she doesn’t pay she still deserves to have an input on what she wears. You should have at leased had a conversation with her about it before you did it.

Edit: I just realized she’s 27 by your description I thought she was 50 not willing to give up her look from her 20s.

ADuckNamedPhil thinks OP just bombed his marriage, and will need to do serious work to heal this fissure.

YTA - Were I your wife I'd just start paying a tailor to make the kind of clothing I want to wear.

I know I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion with this, but oh well:

Seriously, do you want her to sleep with other men? Because this is how you get her sleeping with other men. You just dropped a nuclear bomb on her self-esteem and her faith that you find her attractive, and I can guarantee other men will find her attractive and will tell her so. That's going to make her feel desirable and will amplify her feelings that her husband doesn't find her desirable. I don't even know how you can repair the damage you just did. Good luck, mate.

It feels beyond obvious that OP's behavior is messed up in multiple ways, the real question left at hand is how him and his wife will resolve the issues it brings up, or whether they will at all.

It's safe to say that unless you planned on spending the first half of 2020 quarantined to halt the spread of the most dire pandemic in a century, your year hasn't been according to plan.

You know what they say: "when life gives you lemons, make memes."

People are using pop culture's most famous to demonstrate just how off-course this year has gotten.

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It seems 90% of people over the age of 60, including many of our parents, feels about texting and social media the way millennials feel about TikTok, which is some combination of: "I desperately want to be a part of this" and "HELP!! WHAT IS HAPPENING???? GET ME OUTTA HERE" Making fun of the way our older parents struggle with technology is fun because it makes us feel young and cool for a fleeting moment in between watching TikTok videos and complaining of back pain.

Here are 19 funny posts about the very bumpy intersection between people's aging parents and texting/social media:

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