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Watching porn can be good for you! Science says so!

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Well, it's not bad for you, at least. In one way. Let's celebrate!


"Should we watch Sex Gondola 7 or New Places to Put Your Dick?" (Image via Thinkstock)

Keeping with the long tradition of scientific studies that help us justify our vices, UCLA researchers Nicole Prause and James Pfaus have shown that watching porn does not cause men to have a lower sex drive when they're with a partner. Hear that, everyone? Science just gave us the OK to watch dirty movies! Yay science!

OK, the study's not quite that rah-rah, tits-tits, bang-bang. But it did show that subjects that watched porn — aka "visual sexual stimuli" or VSS — were more likely to want to bone their partners. Or, as the abstract for the study more politely put it, "More hours viewing VSS was related to stronger experienced sexual responses to VSS in the laboratory, was unrelated to erectile functioning with a partner, and was related to stronger desire for sex with a partner."

If your sex life is meh, this unfortunately doesn't mean that watching porn will automatically fix things in the bedroom (or kitchen, or wherever you do it). Rather, it more likely indicates that people who have higher sex drives watch more porn.


One woman's surprising trick to keep street harassers at bay.

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This woman is taking a bite out of street harassment.


She came up with a much more effective method to get rid of unwanted attention than Minnie Mouse's catchphrase "Gosh!"
(via Facebook)

Every since "the video," it's pretty much accepted that street harassment is as common as walking down the street. We've acknowledged that it happens and conceded that it is a problem (begrudgingly by some), but no one has been able to propose a realistic way to stop it until now.

Débora Adorno, a university student in Belo Horizante, Brazil, posted to Facebook her regular struggle with walking to class down a crowded street where the harassment of women is very common.

"The majority of women here understand perfectly well what i am talking about," Débora writes, "but men, dogs, do not have a sense of how we feel invaded, disturbed, and oppressed."

She explained how normally she gets down the street by fixing her gaze at some point in the distance and moving as quickly as possible, afraid to speak out against them in case the men might "beat me, threaten me, .... a thousand things."

"So when a guy passing me in the opposite direction was leering at me, before he had a chance to speak, I made the tooth face."


You don't have to bare it all, just your teeth. (via Facebook)

"For those who know me," she writes, "that tooth is almost like my trademark."

That silly face you make when trying to crack your friends has a completely different effect predators: sheer confusion.

"The guys looked, and then quickly looked away, probably thinking that I had a deformation or illness."

Yes, it goes to show that if they are looking at you because they are attracted to you, it makes sense that looking less attractive would curb the situation. It seems kind of mean to fake a disability when you don't have one, and she expressly doesn't want anyone to be offended by her tactic.

"I know that I will never be able to understand or measure the daily reality of exclusion and prejudice that many people are suffering because they are physically different," she wrote, however, in that moment, when she felt immediately threatened, it just worked. Terrible, but true.

It is an equal but opposite reaction to the "she was asking for it" response given to women who dress sexy. However, she also wants to be clear that if you do not do "the tooth," it is not your fault if you are harassed, in exactly the same way that the harassment is not your fault if you do happen to dress sexy. The blame goes to the men, but she is simply presenting an option should you wish to neutralize an immediate situation.

Débora explained that she continued to make the face at men for the remaining 10 minute walk to her bus stop, and for the first time, completely avoided traffic.

"All that time it rained a rainbow inside me."

And now she is raining rainbows inside a lot of women in Brazil where "toothy face" AKA has become a meme.



Men, take note: the next time you see a woman make this face at you, it's probably because you're being a creep.

Someone took videos of a bunch of musicians and created the best band of all time.

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Can't get a bunch of amazing musicians in the same room? Well, get 'em in the same song.

Pssst! Hey, you there! Yeah, you! You need a song to dance to? Or work to? Or do you need song that you can slink around your apartment to when your roommate isn't home, imagining that you're a badass spy? Well, these 15 musicians have a song for you!

The piece on Digg claims that these are "amateur video clips" that were cut together. While that's a nice story, it's not correct — many of the musicians are professionals who live in Tel Aviv. The video was commissioned by The British Council, "the UK's international organisation for cultural relations and educational opportunities." While it might not be as badass as a video made by with amateurs, it's still a really cool song, and The British Council has a tool that lets you make your own mix, too.

Seasonal

New wave icons reimagined as classic superheroes will unite music geeks and comic book nerds.

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If Morrissey could actually turn into the Hulk, I think we'd all be dead.

(via)

From an early age, you knew there was something different about you. No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't fit in with the other boys and girls. You saw, heard and felt the world in a way that you couldn't express to them. They pointed fingers and mocked your attempts to connect. In time, you stopped trying altogether. You dressed yourself in clothes that set you apart from the rest of the world, and you descended into yourself. But then something funny happened: you started meeting others who were different in ways that were similar to you. You banded together and created your own family of misfits.

Is it any wonder that there's such a large crossover of comic book fans and alternative music obsessives? These prints in which Brazilian graphic artist Butcher Billy melded his post-punk music heroes with his favorite Marvel characters seem designed to hit the sweet spot of that Venn diagram square in the center:

Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh as Iron Man


"Got an uncontrollable surge in my arc reactor."(via)

Joy Division's Ian Curtis as Spider-man


"My bleakness sense is tingling!"(via)

Billy Idol as Thor


Here he comes now swinging Mjolnir, Mjolnir.(via)

Public Image Ltd's John Lydon as Wolverine


I feel like the artist missed a good Adam Ant/adamantium connection here.(via)

You can see more of Butcher Billy's collection of "Post-Punk Marvels" here. He's also got a very similar collection of new wave music/DC Comics mash-ups over here, along with some merchandise. I'm actually getting this Siouxsie Sioux Wonder Woman t-shirt for my wife's birthday. (Don't tell her, though. It's a surprise.)

These generic TV shows created entirely from stock footage might as well be real.

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Prediction: at least one of this is gonna get picked up for the fall.

The people behind the Dissolve stock footage database have combed through their piles and piles of digital clips to create this collection of fake television show trailers. I'm pretty impressed with the results. In fact, I think I'd actually not watch these shows about as often as I don't watch the actual shows they're making fun of.

Birthday

This guy's brain melts after a random encounter with a goat and a llama on a city street.

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"A double farm animal encounter! What does it mean?"

Liverpool, New York—with a population just under 2,500—is not exactly a major metropolitan area. I'll grant you that. But it's still a far cry from the kind of rural village where you might find friendly goats just wandering down the street, looking for people with whom to hang out. And, to be honest, I don't know if there's anywhere outside of Peru where llamas roam free, at least not without major media coverage.

So, you can imagine why this guy felt the need to verify that he hadn't slipped into an dreamscape when he came across these two guys.



This week's news in stock photos – March 22, 2015

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Most websites report the news with licensed photos of current events. On the other hand, we can cover the same stories just as well with generic stock images. You won't even be able to tell the difference! Here's what happened this week:

Representative Aaron Schock of Illinois announced his resignation this week after he was caught up in a spending scandal.


Wipe that smile off your face, mister.

Schock used taxpayer dollars for his own lavish expenses, including redecorating his office to look like 'Downton Abbey.'


Living large, eh Congressman?

In entertainment news, Comedy Central taped its 'Roast of Justin Bieber.'


The Biebs is going down.

The roasters included famous names like Kevin Hart, Will Ferrell, and even Snoop Dogg.


Go easy on him, Snoop.

Justin took a lot of heat, but the harshest jabs were reserved for disgraced comedian Bill Cosby.


He won't be dancing when he hears what they said about him.

In international news, Vladimir Putin appeared in public after a mysterious 10-day absence.


It's been a while, Vlad.

Some were speculating that the Russian president was ill.


How the mighty have fallen.

But when he came back, he looked fit as ever!


I'll have what he's having!


This week also saw the first total solar eclipse since 2012.


Don't look directly at it.

People around the world gathered to watch.


They were brought together by their love of space.

Except where it was too cloudy, that is.


There's always next time.

Finally, there was Starbucks. The coffee chain's CEO Howard Schultz introduced a plan even bolder than his coffee.


So crazy it just might work.

The "Race Together" campaign is trying to get Starbucks customers and employees to talk about racial issues.


Don't worry, we won't bite.

It's a noble idea, but many commenters remain skeptical that it will have any impact on the lingering specter of racism in America.


Come on, guys. Let's talk it out over a hot cup of coffee.

Then again, it might help us create a better world.


Every little bit helps.

One thing's for sure. The eyes of the world will be on us, including some tough critics.


"Perhaps I've underestimated these Americans."

And that's the news!

(All images via Thinkstock)

Workplace

Giant tortoise slowly chases away nature show host who disturbed his mating.

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This guy's like a tortoise paparazzo.

This clip from National Geographic's Pristine Seas is like one of Aesop's fables come to life. After expedition leader Paul Rose disturbs these two giant tortoises during their mating, he gets chased away by the extremely large, extremely slow male. Then it becomes a real-life version of the Tortoise and the Hare, where the tortoise is the tortoise, and Rose is like the hare. He's really rubbing it in the poor reptile's face, dancing away from him backwards and laughing at his plodding gait. Meanwhile, the tortoise was just trying to propagate his endangered species.

The most satisfying ending would be if Rose got so overconfident that he decided to take a nap. All of a sudden, bam! Someone's missing a toe. Then we'd see who's faster.

Starbucks gives up on #RaceTogether after one week, because it solved racism.

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Good job, everyone. Let's pack it up and go home.


He had a dream, but his was dumb.(Getty)

Less than a week after Starbucks debuted its #RaceTogether campaign, CEO Howard Schultz has officially pulled the plug. Certain parts of the program, like online forums and inserts in USA Today, will continue, but Starbucks baristas have been instructed to stop writing #RaceTogether on customers' cups, which they hadn't really been doing anyway.

Schutlz's idea was to start real conversations about race inside Starbucks. Baristas would write the hashtag on a customer's cup to indicate that they were open to a dialogue. Then the two strangers would bare their souls about how racism had affected them, presumably within the 25-30 seconds before the rest of the line started shouting at them to hurry up. I wonder where that went wrong?

The campaign did at least get a dialogue going on Twitter, though it probably wasn't the one Starbucks wanted:

Even though everyone saw this coming, it is a little sad. The program was supposed to last a year, and didn't make it through the first week. Howard Schultz means well, he just clearly has never stepped inside a Starbucks without having a PR team do a sweep of it first to protect him from reality. Hopefully his next idealistic scheme will work better. My suggestion: start a conversation about obesity on the cups for those 500-calorie Frappuccinos.

9 Fitbit Badges for the extremely lazy.

Archaeologists in South American jungle uncover lost stone ruins...of Nazis.

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Ze bungalo in ze jungle-o.

Hack screenwriters, start your pretentious typewriters: archaeologists work in the remote Argentinian jungle of Teyu Cuare near the Paraguayan border have discovered the ruins of what appears to be a Nazi hideout built during the Second World War.


Seems like the Nazis maybe could have focused on problems closer to home, not that I'm complaining about their distractibility.

Explained the lead archaeologist, Daniel Schavelzon, "Apparently, halfway through the second world war, the Nazis had a secret project to build shelters for top leaders in the event of defeat – inaccessible sites in the middle of deserts, in the mountains, on a cliff or in the middle of the jungle like this."


"And this is where their evil air conditioner would have gone."

In addition to the physical ruins of three buildings, scientists uncovered Nazi coins minted between 1938 and 1941 and part of a porcelain plate marked 'Made in Germany' (presumably in German).

Nazi side projects are, as the Indiana Jones franchise, Hellboy, and many other films will tell you, an imaginative writer's best friends. However, like most of them, this one never came to pass, albeit for a different reason: the Nazis never needed it.


Ironically, these have held their value better than any other coins in Argentina.

Argentina under the 1945-1955 leadership of Juan Peron allowed thousands of German Nazis and other European fascists to immigrate freely, so no one ended up hiking to the secret base in the middle of nowhere. This is, of course, the naughty thing Argentina is most notorious for—well, that and defaulting on its national debt. But if you think that's the bigger offense to humanity...congratulations on your promising career as an institutional bond investor.

See more: Argentina's president shows the world why presidents shouldn't have Twitter accounts.

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Article 24

The terror is real: woman reaches under bed for missing cat, finds burglar hiding there.

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File this one under "your worst nightmares come true."


"That don't sound like no cat I ever heard…"(stock photo)

I hope you got a good night's sleep last night, because after reading this story, you may never sleep again. A woman from Palm Springs, FL was searching for her two cats one night last week, with no idea that a burglar was loose in the neighborhood. He had already been spotted, and police were on the way, but they didn't know which house he had gone into.

The woman reached under her bed and touched something alive, but it didn't feel like a cat. It felt like human skin. It turned out it was the burglar, who immediately bolted out of the house, taking a bracelet and digital camera with him. Shortly afterward, the man was picked up by police, and the woman identified him as the burglar. Police identified him as 25-year-old Christian Vatovec.


Somebody got up on the wrong underside of the bed.(via CBS 12)

There's no official word on whether Vatovec was on meth, but it's the woman I'm more worried about. She made every cliché slasher movie mistake.

First of all, she went looking for the cats. You always get caught when you go looking for cats. Also, what's the point? They're cats; they go where they want. They'll be back when they want something.

Next, she groped blindly under the bed instead of getting a flashlight. Anything could have grabbed her hand and pulled her under. That would have been a perfect scare before you see the movie's title card: Cat Burglar.

Finally, she identified the guy for the cops. Now he's got a vendetta. He could either come back for her once our revolving-door prisons spit him out (if the movie has a right-wing bent), or he could die and possess one of her cats. Then she would make the same mistake, reaching under the bed. She has a moment of panic, remembering last time, but finds the cat and relaxes. And that's when he gets her. That would be the end of the movie.

I may have just sold a screenplay, actually.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - March 23, 2015

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1. Taylor Swift Just Bought TaylorSwift.porn For Reasons That Are Probably Way More Boring Than You'd Like To Believe

Now that a bunch of new Internet domains have been made available for purchase, Taylor Swift's management company has picked up both TaylorSwift.porn and TaylorSwift.adult in order to keep her online brand squeaky clean, family friendly and as asexual as possible.



2. TedCruz.com Comes Out Against Ted Cruz's Candidacy — No Word Yet From TedCruz.porn

New presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz apparently did not have the same foresight as Taylor Swift. The Republican candidate somehow forgot about an incredibly unpopular and rarely seen domain called ".com." The person who purchased TedCruz.com is using it to oppose the Texas conservative, imploring visitors to "SUPPORT PRESIDENT OBAMA. IMMIGRATION REFORM NOW!"


3. We Just Found A Super Secret Nazi Clubhouse In The Jungle

A team of archeologists from the University of Buenos Aires have discovered a secret Nazi hideout deep in the jungles of Argentina. The three ruined stone buildings—which contained German coins from the late 1930s, porcelain pieces stamped "Made in Germany," and swastikas on the walls—are believed to have been built as a sanctuary for Nazi officers on the off-chance that things went poorly for the Third Reich during WWII.



4. Supreme Court Decides Against Making Voting Easy For Poor Minorities

The U.S. Supreme Court today decided against hearing a challenge to Wisconsin's controversial voter ID law which has been found to disproportionately frustrate poor and minority citizens' ability to vote. Before you get too concerned about this, let me assuage your fears: poor, minority corporations are completely unaffected by this decision.


5. You Can Now Smell (More) Like Cheeseburgers

Burger King is making a limited-edition Whopper-scented perfume available to Japanese customers. The $40 "Flame Grilled" fragrance will not be sold in the United States, as it was almost certainly deemed redundant.

Wow, Ted Cruz's presidential announcement was way more high-octane than expected.

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Mad Max, meet Ticked-Off Ted:

Spoiler alert: reality ahead.

This was not really Ted Cruz's presidential candidacy announcement made at Jerry Falwell's fundamentalist Liberty University. You can tell because the Mad Max footage comes from the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Australia, and Ted Cruz is Canadian.

I believe in Canadian, they pronounce that "zing."

This slam dunk that went in twice should have scored 4 points, but scored 0.

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He got robbed, and then immediately robbed again.

Sam Dekker plays for the University of Wisconsin, and at just 20 years old, is considered a highly-rated NBA draft prospect. After watching this short clip, it's not hard to understand why. Not only can the kid dunk, he dunks with enough power to get an assist from the net itself. Who says there aren't superstars in college ball?

Unfortunately, this awesome play didn't even count for the normal 2 points, because Wisconsin had already called timeout. I doubt Dekker was too upset, though. With the attention this clip is getting online, he may have just earned his first mansion.

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