Let me explain what's happening in this video. Never mind. It would be impossible.

In this security footage obtained by TMZ, Ariana Grande licks a donut. It's not her donut. It's a donut for someone to buy. Why would she do this? I want to understand, but I can't think of any reasons.

The man she's with, her back-up dancer and kissing associate, also licks a donut. What a bafflingly mischievous pair these two are!

But believe it or not, all of this happens prior to the most confusing part of the video. When a store employee puts out a new tray of donuts, Grande says, "I hate Americans. I hate America." But she is American. And what do donuts have to do with America? And what does she hate so much about them that it makes her reject her home nation?

Yesterday, I read a fascinating interview with a behind-the-scenes celebrity publicist, so now I'm wondering if this donut deviousness was dreamed up by a team of creative PR professionals who wanted to introduce Grande's new love interest to the desensitized American public in a way that would actually get people's attention. But ultimately, and disappointingly, the evidence most clearly supports the conclusion that Ariana Grande was just being a dick.

The model wrote an open letter to the fashion world for racial bias at runway shows.

Dear white people in the fashion world! Please don't take this the wrong way but it's time you people get your shit right when it comes to our complexion! Why do I have to bring my own makeup to a professional show when all the other white girls don't have to do anything but show up wtf! Don't try to make me feel bad because I am blue black its 2015 go to Mac, Bobbi Brown, Makeup forever, Iman cosmetic, black opal, even Lancôme and Clinique carried them plus so much more. there's so much options our there for dark skin tones today. A good makeup artist would come prepare and do there research before coming to work because often time you know what to expect especially at a show! Stop apologizing it's insulting and disrespectful to me and my race it doesn't help, seriously! Make an effort at least! That goes for NYC, London, Milan, Paris and Cape Town plus everywhere else that have issues with black skin tones. Just because you only book a few of us doesn't mean you have the right to make us look ratchet. I'm tired of complaining about not getting book as a black model and I'm definitely super tired of apologizing for my blackness!!!! Fashion is art, art is never racist it should be inclusive of all not only white people, shit we started fashion in Africa and you modernize and copy it! Why can't we be part of fashion fully and equally?
A photo posted by nykhor (@nykhor) on Jul 6, 2015 at 9:55am PDT

Here is the full text from the post:

Dear white people in the fashion world!
Please don't take this the wrong way but it's time you people get your shit right when it comes to our complexion! Why do I have to bring my own makeup to a professional show when all the other white girls don't have to do anything but show up wtf! Don't try to make me feel bad because I am blue black its 2015 go to Mac, Bobbi Brown, Makeup forever, Iman cosmetic, black opal, even Lancôme and Clinique carried them plus so much more. there's so much options our there for dark skin tones today. A good makeup artist would come prepare and do there research before coming to work because often time you know what to expect especially at a show! Stop apologizing it's insulting and disrespectful to me and my race it doesn't help, seriously! Make an effort at least! That goes for NYC, London, Milan, Paris and Cape Town plus everywhere else that have issues with black skin tones. Just because you only book a few of us doesn't mean you have the right to make us look ratchet. I'm tired of complaining about not getting book as a black model and I'm definitely super tired of apologizing for my blackness!!!! Fashion is art, art is never racist it should be inclusive of all not only white people, shit we started fashion in Africa and you modernize and copy it! Why can't we be part of fashion fully and equally?

Nykhor's exasperation is wholly justified. She is a supermodel. Her job is literally to show up to a runway show and let a team of artists cover her body and face in clothes and makeup. Models don't bring their own makeup to high-end runway shows. It would be like showing up to an interview and the HR guy saying to you, "Help me write my resume."

This open letter sheds light on the fact that racial bias in the fashion world is coming from multiple directions. The unpreparedness of makeup artists reflects on the lack of diversity in casting, stemming from the antiquated standard of pale-skinned models.

A photo posted by nykhor (@nykhor) on Jun 29, 2015 at 4:37am PDT

Sure, there are some spelling and grammatical errors in Nykhor Paul's letter, but as mentioned before, she is a supermodel from Sudan, so like, cut her a break. It's not her job to abide by the laws of the grammar police, nor is it her job to bring makeup to work. Plus, she was probably super heated while writing the letter, and it's actually a pretty well-written argument. I'd probably have similar errors if I didn't have an editor.

What this guy did is NOT "letting someone down easy."

#morningafter #mermaid #amandapalmer #whatanight
A photo posted by @msmthomas on Jun 9, 2015 at 6:35am PDT

There's nothing weird or wrong about letting someone know that you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with them after a first date. In fact, it's kind of nice to get a "Hey, you seem cool, but I don't think we're right for each other" note, instead of a bunch of noncommittal texts followed by radio silence. It's closure and that is good. What this guy did is not that.

Michelle Thomas wrote on her blog about going on a date with a man she met on Tinder:

We met in a pub. After a couple of drinks we moved on to a restaurant. He bought me dinner. We strolled arm in arm on the South Bank. He walked me to the train station, where we kissed. It wasn't earth-shattering, but all in all it was a fairly standard Pleasant Evening.

The next day she received this long, rambling message explicitly detailing why he didn't want to f*ck her. If at any point reading this you think it is reasonable: NOPE.

Hey Michelle, sorry been super busy at work today hun.

Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.
I'm not going to bulls--t you... I f--king adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.

Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.

So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result....

I'm so disappointed in myself Michelle because I've genuinely not felt this way about anyone in ages, but I'm trying to be honest with you without sounding like a total knobhead.

We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and... f--k me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment. I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs.

Please try and forgive me. I adore you xx

But! But he adores her!!!

Okay, I know there are going to be a lot of people who will say, "He was just telling like it is." No, he was telling her explicitly about what gets his d*ck hard and his d*ck would never get hard for her. That's beyond unnecessary and f*cked up. Michelle was floored, and it took her a few days to recover. She posted her response as an open letter and it's been shared tens of thousands of times:

Dear Man I Met On Tinder.

I was on another date when I received your message. He returned from the loo to find me in a flood of tears. He was lovely, but baffled, and hasn't been in touch since, funnily enough.

You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think “you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle". We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don't work like that. And that's fine.
What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.

And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.

I like the way I look. I don't look like Charlize Theron, and that's fine - I look like me, and I like myself (I'm sure I'd like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).

You may think are all my profile pictures are "FGASs" (That's Fat Girl Angle Shots – pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they're a fair representation. And I'm pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza, and include links to myInstagram page, where I have the #everybodysready bikini shots I took on my 30th birthday. I like to think I come across as a confident, happy woman. But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think “She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two"? I have to ask - we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions (I discovered this first hand when I ventured a response to those obnoxious bloody adverts).

I showed your message to friends who expressed shock, horror, embarrassment on your behalf, and a desire to cause you actual physical harm. One male friend told me I have a lovely bottom “if unmarriageable". I laughed with them. Then I cried in my Slimming World group. That's right! Slimming World! You see, I already KNOW that I'm overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am – 20 pounds. I've already lost 15, and I've a stone and a half to go. I'm happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F** no.*

I'll never see or hear from you again (you may feel the need to respond to this blog. Please don't. There's nothing you can say that will make me think that you're not a disgrace to your gender).

What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you [have a daughter].

I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her. Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I'll be kind. I'll say “if".) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now.

[Date's name].

Kiss.
My.
Exquisitely.
Unmarriagable.
Arse.

P.S. “Slip of a girl"? CHRIST ALIVE, that's creepy.
P.P.S. You're not 5'11

This guy has a daughter! It's true that every woman has a dad who might be a creep that makes her feel shitty about herself. If this guy feels comfortable talking to a virtual stranger about her body, how does he talk to his kid? Hey, Michelle, thanks for sharing a potentially embarrassing story with the world and turning the shame right back on the person who deserves it: douchebag bros.

In just one short week, we have made lightyears of progress in the advancement of celebrity butt Instagrams.

@Instagram
A photo posted by @chrissyteigen on Jul 7, 2015 at 3:11pm PDT

What a time to be alive! I thought I would have to wait my whole career as an Instagram Butt Writer to see this many instagrammed celebrity butts. But in just eight days, the entire industry has been transformed. Remarkable!

First, we saw Marc Jacob's butt by accident. Then, we saw Justin Bieber's butt on purpose. And now, John Legend enters the mix.

Chrissy Teigen, Legend's wife and Instagram nipple transparency advocate, posted the above photograph. She tagged Instagram, which I read as a callout of the company's sexist policy of taking down photos showing female nipples, but not other stuff (male nipples, celebrity butts). That's right, you might have been too distracted by John Legend's naked body to realize that this is a highly political butt photo (I think).

With so many celebrity dick pics coming out recently, we decided to rank them in a head-to-head contest. (NSFW, obviously)

Whose peen will reign supreme?

Life is different for male and female celebrities. Female celebrities have their nude photos leaked by expert hackers who access their personal files and distribute their most intimate images across the whole world. Male celebrities take pictures of their dicks and then release them themselves, either on purpose or through very dumb mistakes. Hackers don't even want them, but they get out anyway.

Recently, there has been a wave of celebrity dick pics and dick movies cresting over the Internet. With such a glut of man-meat at our disposal, we felt we had no choice but to compare every piece to see who has the prize hog. But we knew we had to be scientific about it. And thus began the Someecards Miss Penis Pageant.

Every penis will be judged on the following categories and scored out of 10:

1. Appearance.
The nitty-gritty. How the penis looks as compared to the standard Western definition of beauty in a penis. This is only one of five categories, to prevent this contest from being shallow.

2. Presentation.
How the penis is presented in the context of the photo/video. How it is complimented by the lighting, camera angle, makeup, and fluffing.

3. Poise.
How the penis holds itself. Its attitude and bearing, posture and grace. Whether it appears confident. How erect it is.

4. Talent.
Every penis has a unique talent that it will display for our pleasure and judgment.

5. Flavor.
Not literal flavor, but the overall effect of all the other factors combined. How the penis makes you feel. Its aura.

Notice that size is not a category, because it doesn't matter. IT DOESN'T. Let's begin.

Marc Jacobs

He said it's ours to try, so we're putting it on trial.(via Gawker)

Last week, the fashion designer accidentally uploaded this butt shot to his Instagram account instead of sending it as a direct message. He quickly deleted it, but not before cybersleuths could grab a sneaky screenshot. As you can see, the shadowy tip of his fashionable penis peeks just slightly into view. Let's see how it scores:

Appearance – 3
Apologies to Mr. Jacobs, but the fact that we can see so little of his penis works against him here. In the interest of fairness, we have to assume the worst. What we can see, however, is acceptable.

Presentation – 2
Again, he loses major points by obscuring so much shaft. What you can see of his penis is shadowy and withdrawn, giving it a haggard appearance beyond its years. The foreshortening of the camera angle also has a minimizing effect.

Poise – 8
Jacobs does a lot of catching up in this department. Ironically, the same factor that cost him points in the previous categories (that most of the penis is hidden) is a major advantage in this one! The concealed penis has a shy, coquettish energy that is irresistible. It seems to be saying, "Wouldn't you like to turn this body around and see the whole penis? But alas, you can't. You're looking at a picture."

Talent – 7
The talent of Jacobs's penis is that it's a master of stealth. Even in this picture, you can't be sure if it's there, or if he just has a stray piece of calamari stuck to his pelvis. By the time you figure it out, it's too late.

Flavor – 8
The mysterious noir quality of this member fills a room with tension and desire. It instills in the viewer a deep sense of longing, but also fear. It's like a forbidden fruit. It also looks like a fruit.

LeBron James

King James's scepter went public during the recent NBA Finals when he decided to change his shorts while a camera was pointed in his face. Despite appearing onscreen for only a split second, this proud penis's impact was felt across the pop culture landscape. Let's see it in super slow motion:

That's a mighty jiggle. But how does it measure up under intense academic scrutiny? Let's go to the scores:

Appearance – 7
LeBron is a an all-star, and so is his penis. As he whips down his shorts, it swings with a relaxed, natural fluidity, throwing its weight around with the effortless precision of a ballet dancer. His penis moves just like he does on the court.

Presentation – 4
The penis loses a few points for the poor lighting. You can't blame him for not getting a professional floodlight into his pants, and yet that's exactly what we're doing. The harsh stadium lights filtering into the shadows of his shorts make his penis look ashen and tired. Would a touch of dong make-up kill you, LeBron?

Poise – 7
This is a penis that knows what it wants, and isn't afraid to go for it. And what it wants is a fresh pair of shorts.

Talent – 6
LeBron's penis's talent is flopping. While it's obviously skilled, we can't give it top marks because we see it flop so briefly in this clip. Without observing the dismount, we're scoring half-blind.

Flavor – 8
This penis appeared and disappeared as briefly as the sun on a cloudy day, and was just as inspiring. Its hypnotic movement didn't hurt either. In the end, it did what all great penises do: it left us wanting more.

Ben Affleck

He's the first Batman to publicly show his penis since Val Kilmer in that convenience store. I made that up but you believed it, right?(via Gawker)

If you never saw Gone Girl, here's a spoiler: the girl is gone. Here's another spoiler: Affleck dick! Here's the only second of the movie you need to see:

This penis is freshly on the market! Submit your bids now.(via Gawker)

Once again, the penis is only visible for a brief moment. But the legends are true – it's there. Here's an enhanced still so you can really get an eyeful:

The Loch Ness Dongster.(via Gawker)

Now that we've isolated the penis, let's take a look at its scores:

Appearance – 9
This dick is beautiful.

Presentation – 3
Honestly, the presentation on this penis is not bad, but it loses major points for wasted resources. This clip comes from a major motion picture, not a selfie or a sports blooper. The director is to be blamed for underselling this fine piece of meat. Why is it only shown for a few frames, and bathed in low light? A true artist like Hitchcock or Kubrick would have proudly displayed it center screen for at least ten seconds, bathed in pure sunlight.

Poise – 5
Its posture is good, but it barely moves at all. Show some effort, dick!

Talent – 7
You can't tell from these images, but Affleck's penis is doing a perfect Boston accent in this clip. Very impressive.

Flavor – 6
The overall effect of the penis is the same as that of Gone Girl: deep paranoia. What are this penis's motives? Who can we trust? The man? The penis? Probably just the penis. Penises don't lie.

The Results

It's been a hard-fought battle (although none of the penises are hard), but there can only be one Top Dick. Compiling the scores, here are our final results:

LeBron James – 32
Ben Affleck – 30
Marc Jacobs – 28

Congratulations to LeBron James, the celebrity with the best penis!

Wow! Those were some close scores. In the end, though, LeBron is the champ. I guess there's no competing with one of the world's best athletes in any physical competition. To Marc Jacobs and Ben Affleck, I'll just say this: better luck next time everyone in the world sees your dick.

The style app The Hunt now lets strangers make beauty decisions you can't make yourself.

This poll totally worked!

If you've ever stared into the vast abyss of your over-stuffed closet and thought, "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR. I CANNOT DO THIS ON MY OWN." then this app is for you! It's a new feature on the shopping/style/beauty app The Hunt. It lets you upload 2-3 photos of prospective outfits or hair colors or lipstick shades (or anything!) and leave your fate up to people who don't know you.

On the flip side, if you love judging other people's fashion choices and/or telling them what to do, I also suggest you get on this app immediately and start giving your solicited opinion to those who are unable to make choices for themselves. Basically this app is a good thing no matter which way you look at it.

As you can see from the picture above, it helped me with my made-up decision of what to wear on a fake date with a German speed skater. Please write in the comments section if you know a speed skater looking to date a semi-bonkers American writer, because I already have the perfect outfit.

The Song of the Summer hasn't been announced yet, but this ball of confidence and swag is officially its hero.

In a few years this kid is going to be rolling in chick chicky booms.

Since being uploaded on July 1st, this kid's spontaneous show put on for a bunch of poolgoers has racked up over a million and a half views (as of 7/8). Why? Because this kid captures the spirit of summer: a time to frolic, a time to let loose, a time to charm everyone and get the party going. He is the personification of the body confidence we all need at the pool or the beach or at the party. He is Fun. He is Summertime. He is...Cuban Pete.

As the video's description points out, he's not doing this as an homage to Ricky Ricardo, as has often been reported, but rather to this famous scene from The Mask:

Research finds that people who claim to be real vampires tell everybody about being a vampire except doctors.

"Thanks for seeing me so late. I have a crazy schedule and a deathly aversion to sunlight, so it's hard to get out."

In this weird and kooky world of ours, I'm sure if I told you there were people who are real vampires walking amongst us, you wouldn't bat an eye. Sure, there are those gothy wastrels that glue fangs to their canine teeth and go to warehouse raves or drink red wine in graveyards. However, there are many—probably thousands—who suck blood from willing donors in order to gain energy.

I know how that is. I go through this same cycle, but with Dr. Pepper. I have no energy until I find a willing donor who will let me suck it out of them... Nevermind... Back to the vampires.

D. J. Williams, director of social work at Idaho State University, has researched the vampire community for nearly a decade. What sets apart the people profiled in the study is that they are ordinary people that don't necessarily engage in the "vampire lifestyle." The real "vampires" are regular human beings that have solved a difficult challenge with an odd self cure.

These poor "vampire" folk suffer from such low energy levels that they seek out others willing to give them their blood to feed on. It sounds to me like Anne Rice meets the tedium of insulin management. Obviously, there's a medical issue that is going unaddressed. Since the solution these "vampires" have found seems so outlandish, they keep this information private for fear of embarrassment, ridicule, or even being classified as mentally ill.

It is a little crazy to be so energized by blood sucking that you would rather seek out someone from whom you could reasonable ask for and receive clean, delicious blood on a regular basis rather than telling a doctor once. Obviously, the embarrassment factor is high.

What doesn't help matters is that most of the "vampires" think they were born with the need to suck blood just to make it through daily life. Williams' hands-on research has given him lots of face time with 11 of these poor, tired folks. “The real vampire community seems to be a conscientious and ethical one," he says. Not so ethical that they won't lie to you about eating blood, though.

In our modern era, a truly comprehensive media strategy includes live babies.

Jeff Goldblum, star of Independence Day (classic version) and its upcoming sequel Independence Day: Resurgence, had a baby. And the baby was born—out of all the days in the year—on July 4th, the American holiday celebrating his dad's movie franchise. What are the odds? I'm imagining a boardroom full of marketing executives spending the holiday weekend frantically googling what foods Jeff Goldblum's wife should eat to induce labor.

The baby premiered on the same day as a teaser trailer for the new movie:

Also, this made me laugh:

Ugh, isn't it, like, so embarrassing when a famous director likes the teaser trailer for his own movie on Facebook?

Pretty good advice from someone whose whole shtick is about being a loser in high school.

"What do you mean 'I'm a megastar?' I'm just Taylor from the block!" (via Getty)

A high schooler from somewhere in America was having trouble deciding which tie to wear to prom, and like anyone whose Tumblr name is "swiftromantics," he reached out to his almighty demi-god Taylor Swift for some advice:

So prom is on Thursday and I need to know, tie or bow tie?

He probably just did it as a one-off, not expecting much, but Taylor Swift's PR person Taylor Swift chose to come down from the heavens and answer this unlikely mortal's question. She responded with the following:

I like the tie but honestly both are great. I just feel like you look like a 50's movie star in the bow tie, but more like a modern movie star in the tie. Depends on what vibe you're wanting to convey but I'd say the tie. Great suit btw!

Besides learning that neither of them understand that a regular tie is called a "necktie," it also looks like we've learned that Swift prefers modern movie stars to 50s movie stars. OMG! Just kidding. That is not news. How much do you want to bet every compliment this kid receives on his suit is going to be followed with him saying, "Yeah, you know who also likes my suit? Taylor Swift." Hats off to you, swiftromantics. It wasn't so long ago that Taylor was in your shoes.

It's like she's also a real person or something. (via Elle)

Looks like the biller has become...the billed.

Abandon all hope, all ye who have cable and Internet packages. (via Thinkstock)

It's a cliché at this point to talk about how terrible Time Warner customer service is, but this story takes their incompetence to a new extreme. It doesn't involve a customer being on hold for a long time or getting charged for something they didn't order—oh no, that's kids' stuff compared to this—it involves Time Warner eschewing their usual organizational incompetence and actively being dicks to someone who, by the way, wasn't even a customer.

Luiz Perez was a Time Warner customer with an unpaid bill. He then switched his phone number (hmmm, I wonder why). Araceli King, who had nothing to do with Time Warner at all, got Perez's old phone number when she got a new phone. Time Warner didn't note Perez's change of phone number and kept calling King about Perez's bills. King called Time Warner about it and had a seven-minute phone call with a representative, but afterwards, Time Warner continued to call. King then sued the company, and they still kept calling, 74 more times.

Under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act, a law meant to regulate automated calling systems, Time Warner Cable has to pay King $1,500 per call, which amounts to a total of $229,500 in payments. In a usual attempt to shirk their responsibility for anything, Time Warner is trying to fight the case by arguing that they didn't know it was not Perez. A judge called the company's actions "egregious," and said it was "incredible" that they wouldn't have known it wasn't Perez, seeing as King informed them twice about it. The official trial will go down on July 27th, but it looks like things are leaning in King's favor. Fingers crossed that King's phone goes off in the middle of the trial with a call from Time Warner.

Wait for it… wait for it…

It's always worth waiting five seconds to see an audience full of people suddenly have their hopes crushed and their vibes ruined. Even in the pulsing lights of the stage, you can clearly make out the confusion and disappointment on every face. Boy is it sweet.

Thanks to Mashd N Kutcher for uploading this, and for proving that not every DJ takes him- or herself seriously. Just every one I've ever met.

The aspiring body-builders now have to work on their figures from separate prison yards.

This pastry caused a lot of pain.(via Twitter)

Crystal and James Driggers of Dalzell, South Carolina were arrested on July 3rd and charged with child abuse. They forced their 14-year-old daughter to live in a tent in the woods a quarter mile from their house, all for eating a Pop-Tart. Because that is the punishment a couple of nightmare gym rats give a teenager who eats a tasty breakfast food.

"We hate snacks enough to go to jail over them."(via Sumpter Item)

It gets worse. The Driggers allegedly gave their daughter only a roll of toilet paper, a flashlight, a whistle and a watch, and if she wanted to eat she'd have to meet at a nearby fence for her rations or risk not getting any food. The awful icing on this nightmare Pop-Tart is that the Driggers forced their daughter to stay outside during a thunderstorm, which is when local police discovered her in the tent.

Crystal Driggers is part of a fitness maybe-scam called Team Beach Body, which could be a possible explanation for exacting this cruel and unusual punishment for a minor dietary infraction.

Besides being the worst people in the gym, they can now add "garbage dump parents" to their already terrible resume that includes "discharging firearms into a dwelling," which both of them were separately charged with in 2013. Maybe they were trying to shoot unhealthy snack foods out of each other's hands.

One of the great things about being wrong is you can admit it.

Josh Clark is just a regular dude from Nashville, who decided to come forward about the reasons why he used to display the Confederate flag and why he finally decided to stop. He put up the Facebook post above and it went viral with over 70,000 shares, and counting. It reads:

Something has been weighing pretty heavily on me the past few days. I have had a few small discussions on the issue, but haven't gotten too far into it. I wanted to share this, not for attention, but because I thought it needed to be done.

It's no big secret to my friends that I love to hunt, fish, camp and do pretty much anything outdoors. I have always considered myself to be a country boy stuck in the city. One of the ways that I used to show pride for my lifestyle was wearing t-shirts with the Confederate/ Rebel flag on them. In high school, I even had a bumper sticker on my truck that read “Keep It Flying”. I had grown up seeing the flag regularly, and although I had seen it used in negative ways on occasion, I chose to accept the “Heritage not Hate” and “Pride not Prejudice” interpretation of the flag. If you had asked me back then, I would've told you that it was a symbol of southern pride and had nothing to do with racism.

I was raised pretty close to downtown Nashville and grew up with kids of all races with all kinds of backgrounds. I played baseball, basketball and football on teams where sometimes whites were minorities. I am very thankful for this. As I continue to grow and learn, I realize that we tend to fear things just because we don't understand them. Because of where and how I was raised, I never feared people of other color or background. I was able to realize that we are all the same underneath. I have had white friends, black friends, Asian friends, Middle Eastern friends, Latino friends, Christian friends, Muslim friends, Atheist friends, etc. Thankfully, I have never had a racist bone in my body.

It wasn't until well into my college years when I began to start thinking for myself. I no longer let the people I was raised by tell me how to view every issue and tried my best to be more open-minded. I believe that one of the most important things for us to do as humans is to try putting ourselves in others' shoes before we make any kind of judgement.

Although I never meant anything racist by sporting the Confederate flag, I couldn't help but think of what some of my black friends thought about it. I really can't think of a time that I was confronted about it. Did it not offend them? Were they too nice or afraid to confront me about it? The more I researched about the history of the flag, the worse I felt. What I had been told about its history was wrong. Thousands of southerners still fly the flag with no racist intent. They still defend the good things they've been told about the flag. They, like I once was, are WRONG. The flag is a symbol of a way of life that was wrong. Not that it needs to be stated, but slavery is one of the most evil and cruel things this world has ever seen. The Confederate flag represents this evil. Where is the pride in that? The Confederate flag is also a sign of division. How can you truly be a patriot of this country and fly this flag? Do we really need to fly a flag to show that we are southern, or that we like to hunt and fish, especially when it's offensive to so many? It is not a kind thing, a good thing, or the right thing to do.

To those against removing the flag, I do not think you are a bad person. I know what it once meant to me. I do, however, challenge you to do your research. Step outside of what your family taught you and be open-minded. Even if you believe in a different history lesson, is flying a flag worth the pain it causes others? Please try to view these issues from the other side of the argument.
To those I may have offended in the past, who never confronted me, I apologize. I was WRONG.

As our country continues to move forward on equality issues, I believe the only place for the Confederate flag is in our history books.

Wow. It's great that Josh Clark came forward with his perspective, having been on both sides of the argument. It's always better to reflect on your actions and opinions instead of digging your feet deeper and deeper into your rut of wrongness.

Some people think the racial term "Redskins" is an offensive sports team name, because it is.

Team owner Dan Snyder said the team will "NEVER" change its name, probably in a chilling whisper. (via Getty)

Today, a federal judge ordered the cancellation of the Washington Redskins' trademark registrations. That means the court has reaffirmed its original decision that the team name is offensive to Native Americans, so it's not entitled to any trademarks. The team can still be called the "Redskins," for now, but I think we can all see where this is inevitably going.

According to the Washington Post, this was the thinking behind the original decision that was upheld today:

In its ruling last year, the appeal board asserted that "Redskins" offends a large number of Native Americans and is therefore ineligible for trademark registration under the federal Lanham Act, which bars protection for names that "may disparage" or bring people into contempt or disrepute. The board based its vote on several factors, such as that "Redskins" is a dictionary-defined slur and the National Congress of American Indians declared the name racist.

One of the lawyers for the Native Americans petitioning against the team name called today's decision a "watershed event."

I'm from the DC area and I have an idea for what the new team name could be: a word that doesn't describe a race of people.

Warning: you may think you're too jaded to feel bad for some kid who went on the Internet. You're not. Oh, who am I kidding? The web is full of terrible people.

It's hard to be so awful that someone could actually look happier when they're being pranked in the shower.

Way back in September, I wrote about a viral video in which a dad pulled a good-natured prank on his son who was loudly singing Katy Perry in the shower. It was pretty funny. People liked it alright. It got millions of views. Just another day on the Internet. Well, for Logan Fairbanks, the kid in the video, it meant months and months of seeing really mean comments about himself online. He told his dad he wanted to make his own video to talk about this. (The YouTube channel belongs to his father Josh.) This was both for his own sake, to overcome the bullies, and to encourage other kids who may have been scared offline by jerks to have confidence in themselves. Here's Logan reading some of the comments on that viral video.

The fact that people on the Internet are the absolute worst is not news, I suppose, but I will still never understand it.

Related: Dad puts on a mask to terrify his son, who is belting Katy Perry in the shower.

I thought even bad people had interests and hobbies. Go outside and burn ants with a magnifying glass or something, you losers. Mark my words, one day someone is going to write a program that tracks down who wrote every hateful comment on the Internet and create profiles with every horrible thing they've ever written. I'm not saying they should. It's not a good idea. I'm against it. But I think it will happen. Granted, it will probably be the day after a terrible person writes a program to track down everyone who supports some worthwhile cause that terrible people oppose, but still.