The reward is coming from a millionaire! But you already knew that.

They're nice shoes, but are they $1 million nice?(via Getty)

Back in August 2005, the famous ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz were stolen from a museum in Minnesota. As we approach the ten year anniversary of this theft, an anonymous rich person/huge Judy Garland fan from Arizona is willing to pay $1 million for information leading to the recovery of this precious footwear.

Sometimes I forget that if you're rich you can still use you money for whatever you want. Sure, finding a pair of shoes is a strange use of a million dollars, but I bet millionaires would think it's weird how much money I spend on pizza and sour gummy worms. So let's call it a draw.

I'll just leave this clip here in case you wanted to see the ruby slippers up close:

Haley Reinhart really nails it.

Why is this cover so great!? Probably because it combines three amazing things:

1. An impeccably written pop song.
2. Talented jazz musicians.
3. A singer with some incredible pipes.

I hate to say this is better than the original, but I'm going to face my fears and say that yes, this is cover is musically better than the original. Britney's signature vocal fry will always be the most memorable version of Oops...! I Did It Again but this version by Postmodern Jukebox is just so catchy, Haley's voice is amazing, and the whole thing is perfect for the throwback-obsessed times we live in.

Here's the original since you should make the comparison and decide for yourself:

A selfie of this magnitude does not happen by accident.

I think this photo is gonna make the world implode..... Last night was really great #sdcc2015
A photo posted by @maisie_williams on Jul 12, 2015 at 11:01am PDT

Maisie Williams, better known as Arya Stark of Game of Thrones, was wandering around Comic Con in San Diego this week pretending to have fun but secretly looking for Daniel Radcliffe.

Why? Because obviously a selfie of two stars from a couple of the most popular fantasy franchises of the past two decades would get all the likes. Throw in a Gilly (Hannah Murray) and Doctor Who's Clara Oswald (Jenna Coleman), and you've got a selfie that, as Williams put it, "is gonna make the world implode."

Well congratulations, Arya, your world-imploding dreams have come true. I hope you're proud of yourself for destroying the universe with a single photo.

Talk about a girl not being ready to be No One.

Did you know the hashtag #WhiteGirlsDoItBetter is trending?

I woke up like disss
A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Jul 11, 2015 at 11:12am PDT

Right now, that hashtag is getting what it deserves, which is mercilessly mocked.

Complain #WhiteGirlsDoItBetter
— Kate (@katethewasp) July 11, 2015

Apparently, it started as some sort of "let's fight reverse racism" thing by people who believe reverse racism exists. I guess since "White Pride" was taken by the KKK, this was the next obvious word combo? If the white ladies who kicked this hashtag off want to try again, maybe go for something less denigrating of other people. Like, "White Girls Are Okay With Themselves" or "White Girls Can Be Cool Without Saying They Do Everything Better, Because That Is Racist and Bullsh*t." Something catchy.

Anyway, in the midst of this, Kylie Jenner posted a pic on Instagram in which she was wearing her hair in cornrows, captioned, "I woke up like disss." Okay, forget the hair for a sec: those are weird-ass pajamas.

It wasn't long before someone in the comment thread hashtagged this photo with #WhiteGirlsDoItBetter. That's when Amandla Stenberg, best known for playing Rue in The Hunger Games and speaking truth to power, stepped in and put Kylie on blast:

Blam.(via BuzzFeed)

Amandla's comment reads:

when u appropriate black features and culture but fail to use ur position of power to help black Americans by directing attention towards ur wigs instead of police brutality or racism #whitegirlsdoitbetter

Issues around cultural appropriation are close to Stenberg's heart, and a video she made for school on the subject went viral recently:

What did Kylie respond with?

...Burn?(via BuzzFeed)

Very curious what Kylie Jenner would consider "doing," but she hasn't got much to back herself up here. Especially if the best she can tell Amandla to do is to hang with Jaden Smith. Hanging with Jaden Smith sounds great!

The Comeback...(Albino jacked the headgear)
A photo posted by Téo (@pleiadianmessage) on May 16, 2015 at 5:52pm PDT

Of course, there were rumors that Jenner and Smith were romantically linked last year, and this year Smith took Stenberg to prom.

to all my loves: thanks for a great night

A photo posted by amandla (@amandlastenberg) on May 30, 2015 at 5:19pm PDT

Sometimes the issue is that two teen girls are fighting over a boy, sometimes the issue is deeply embedded racism exercised through cultural appropriation. This is that magical unicorn of a story where it's probably both.

The former host appeared onstage with Steve Martin and Martin Short in San Antonio.

I didn't realize how much I missed Dave until I saw him again. He really is the one that got away. I should have done more to treasure the 33 years we had together.

A newly-bearded Letterman made his first public appearance since his retirement on Friday at a live show hosted by Steve Martin and Martin Short in San Antonio, Texas. Saying he was "so happy to be out of the house," Letterman explained that he had no regrets about his retirement… until he heard that Donald Trump was running for president.

Consumed with the fire of a man half his age, the veteran host had no choice but to fly to Texas and mock Trump with one last Top 10 List. The list even included a record three jokes about that thing on Trump's head.

Is this a harbinger of more surprise Letterman drop-ins to come? God, I hope so.

All your favorite characters in one grainy, shaky trailer filmed from some guy's pocket.

Hey, it's Sansa Stark as Jean Grey! She really can't catch a break, huh? Jean Grey witnesses the end of the world and BOOM, things get started. We get to see Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy (with hair, thank god) and a bunch of other new mutants who will probably get killed after looking fierce and saying one line of dialogue.

My dark truth is I know almost nothing about X-Men that doesn't come from the movie franchise. I'm one of them. So, here are some guesses for what happens in this film based on the trailer and that limited background:

1. Professor Xavier goes Dark Phoenix at some point.
2. Mystique is a hero briefly, then Michael Fassbender's sexiness makes her evil.
3. A lot of people stand around in that finding mutants chamber thing-y throughout the movie even though it's the most boring setting of all the other films.
4. We forget everything that happened almost immediately after leaving the theater, except for Quicksilver.

Any other guesses?

Who needs CGI when you've got hair clips?

A few weeks ago, I posted a fan-made remake of the Jurassic World trailer in which all of the dinosaurs were replaced with wiener dogs. It was an emotional and memorable day for all of us, I know. I still get letters from people around the world who were touched by my decision to post such a paradigm-altering video, and I thank them.

But I would also like to apologize to them, because I think I conveyed the incorrect idea that the wiener dog Jurassic World parody trailer was the definitive Jurassic World parody trailer. Clearly, I was mistaken , as is evidenced by this above remake of the trailer that Korean Internet personality Hozza made with only the materials that she could find around her house.

You can watch side-by-side comparison of both old and new versions of the trailer below:

These weirdly cool "Minions" inspired heels helped raise $84,850.

They're heels that look up your own skirt.(via Getty)

It's so awesome when people frivolously spend thousands of dollars on high fashion items and the money goes to charity. Ten pairs of the Minions inspired heels, designed by fancy-pants Rupert Sanderson, sold at auction for a total of $42,425. Because Sandra Bullock is a boss philanthropist, she matched the amount and gave a total of $84,850 to the charity Art + Practice.

These guys seem chill.(via Getty)

The charity's goal is "to support its goals of empowering foster youth and strengthening communities through contemporary art." Sandra Bullock told Vogue, "When you discover people who are truly giving back, and taking care of our community, I think it's our duty to support and take care of them in return."

These crazy shoes are amazing and so is Sandra Bullock and I can't wait to hear her voice in Minions.

We've all been there, pig. We've all been there.

You ever have one of those days where it feels like you put on about twenty pounds overnight? Your fat pants aren't fitting quite right, the buttons on your shirt are threatening to become projectiles, and the person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror is uncomfortably reminiscent of your high school biology teacher.

On days like that, it's important to focus on the good things, like the fact that you're still capable of fitting through the door of your home. That's something, right?

Unfortunately, Otis the miniature pig in the video above is going to have to dig a little deeper to find his ray of sunshine.

The impossible has come to pass.

Hey I Deleted the photo of my butt on Instagram not because I thought it was bad but someone close to me's daughter follows me and she was embarrassed that she saw my butt and I totally wasn't thinking in that aspect. And I felt awful that she felt bad. To anyone I may have offended I'm so sorry. It was completely pure hearted as a joke but didn't take in account there are littles following me!!! Love u guys
A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Jul 11, 2015 at 8:22am PDT

The delightful photo of Bieber's baby smooth buttocks has been removed from Instagram, by the star himself. Why?! Here's what he says:

Hey I Deleted the photo of my butt on Instagram not because I thought it was bad but someone close to me's daughter follows me and she was embarrassed that she saw my butt and I totally wasn't thinking in that aspect. And I felt awful that she felt bad. To anyone I may have offended I'm so sorry. It was completely pure hearted as a joke but didn't take in account there are littles following me!!! Love u guys

I think he's saying small children follow him on Instagram and he doesn't want his butt to be some kind of predator, stealing the innocence of youth, like a sideways mouth that eats happiness. Fair enough! Let's not embarrass children with our naked butts.

Adults, however, can continue to enjoy butts responsibly. Or make a mockery of them, like Miley Cyrus:

Bieber got back!

A photo posted by Miley Cyrus (@mileycyrus) on Jul 6, 2015 at 10:52pm PDT

So sad that butts are a joke to her.

Some major gnar was shredded on Sunday.

Four flips isn't cool. You know what's cool? Five flips. (via Nitro Circus/YouTube)

Sunday was "Revolution Day" at the Nitro Circus, which is basically a day where a bunch of people get together and try some crazy ish on their bikes. The most popular rider on this year's slate was Jed Mildon, whose big stunt was attempting to pull off a quadruple flip. For those of you who don't know your numeral prefixes (shame on you!), that means four flips in a row.

Mildon landed a triple flip a few years earlier and was in competition with his friend and fellow rider, James Foster, to be the first to complete the quad. Foster was recently injured, however, and Mildon swooped in to claim the title.

He took off from a custom-built 21-foot ramp and gracefully landed the trick, thus making BMX history. Even though Foster has suffered a total of ten broken ribs and a separated shoulder, he's still committed to landing it as well. The tenacity of these riders is pretty admirable, but definitely not as admirable as their ability to prevent vomiting in mid-air.

Get ready for ten seconds of pure joy and inspiration.

This is what I'm doing on my Saturday night. Enjoy. pic.twitter.com/Vak9gDCVYC
— Rob Lowe (@RobLowe) July 12, 2015

For some reason, watching Rob Lowe spin around the room and lip-sync to The Hills Are Alive will make you feel more alive, too. Here is what we can learn from this video:

1. Rob Lowe uses Dubsmash.
2. Rob Lowe is Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation.
3. Sometimes even celebrities need to stay in on a Saturday night.
4. Ten seconds of watching Rob Lowe lip sync is clinically proven to make you happier.

Have a great Monday, everybody!

...in Chapter One under "F%#k You Don't Steal My Money" in Section 8.215 it says, "F%#k you don't steal my money."

Rest of letter and full transcription below. (via reddit)

Taking money from comedian Eugene Mirman is not a good idea. The stand-up and voice of Gene on Bob's Burgers is well known for his open letters to such infamous money-stealers as Time Warner Cable. This week, Mirman has penned a viral open letter to a new kind of target: greedy tourist trap village police. We all know that visiting seaside tourist towns is a trade in which you receive good food, scenic views, and invigorating salt air in exchange for forking over all your money for said good food, sub-par fudge, and amateur sunset paintings. One such tourist trap is the absurdly adorable town of Portsmouth, NH. Just look at this f%#king place:

We are all fine with that. What we're not fine with, and what prompted Mirman to take out this full-page ad in the 2015 edition of the Seacoast Summer Guide (your complete guide to coastal New Hampshire's summer offerings), is getting fined for no reason when towns that can't hack it on tourism and their own citizen's productivity alone decide to fatten their coffers with byzantine laws and fines no one could know about. Like making it illegal to park with the rear of your car facing the curb:

Thank you for keeping the lost art of angry letter-writing alive, Eugene. (via reddit)

Here's the full text of the letter:

Dear Portsmouth, NH and Especially the Parking Clerk's Office,

Jast June I had a wonderful day walking around in your historic downtown with my girlfriend. I bought two puppets, who turned out to be gay. Just kidding, they're puppets. We stopped in cute shops, ate a popover, and saw Black David Cross. It was nice.

Then — when we returned to our car on my windshield was a ticket. "What could this possibly be for?" I thought. I paid for three hours of parking (but only used two — you're welcome, Portsmouth). Is it a crime in Portsmouth to not use all the parking you bought? How'd you know I'd be back early? Do you have a PreCrime division? Why are your PreCogs working on traffic tickets? Shouldn't they be out preventing Street Performers before they happen? But, no. I read the violation — we backed into a spot and were fined $15 for being "parked in wrong direction."

What kind of a horsesh{replace9}amp;t charge is that? It's illegal to back into a spot? Before I embarrass myself, I want to make sure that Portsmouth is still inside the United States and not considered a part of Iran?

You're probably thinking, "Well, if before visiting Portsmouth, like everyone else — you'd simply first gone to the City Clerk's Office website, clicked on City of Portsmouth Ordinances and looked in Chapter Seven — Vehicles, Traffic and Parking. Right there in section 7.316: BACK TO THE CURB it says 'No vehicle shall remain backed up to the curb.'" Similarly, if you had gone to my website before I came to your city and clicked on Eugene's Ordinances, you'd know that in Chapter One under "F%#k You Don't Steal My Money" in section 8.215 it says, "F%#k you don't steal my money."

But even if I had gone to your website — it states that the online ordinances are not an official copy — that for the official ordinances, I have to call 610-7245. Why no area code? Am I calling from a local payphone in 1986? But instead, I foolishly looked around for signs, both real and from God. I saw nothing, but I heard God's voice, and he said, "This is f%#king bull{replace9}amp;t. You need to write them a letter."

Lastly, as you know, New Hampshire's state motto is General John Stark's celebrated quote, "Live Free or Die," which he famously said before attempting the first recorded self-BJ. If John Stark was alive today, he would be 287 years old — also, right after learning about cars, General Stark would then be disgusted to discover that Portsmouth doesn't even give people the freedom to back into a spot — which by your own state's twisted logic, turns my $15 ticket — into a fight to the death.

With Great Disappointment In You,

Eugene Mirman

Related: Comedian takes out full-page ad to compare Time Warner Cable to Joseph Stalin and Jeffrey Dahmer.

The tax foundation put together this map based on the cost of living in every state.

How do I exchange my New York dollars for Mississippi dollars?
(via Tax Foundation)

It's no secret that the cost of living in the U.S. is increasing much faster than wages are. But this trend isn't consistent across the whole country. Recent data released by the Bureau of Economic Analysis reveals a wide disparity in the value of a dollar from state to state. This should come as a comfort to people from the heartland who are tired of being condescended to by New Yorkers and Californians: those jerks are being ripped off for everything.

The Tax Foundation, a nonprofit research organization, took the Bureau's data and created this map, showing the relative value of $100 in every state as compared to the national average. The rankings of the states aren't that surprising, but the difference between them is. The state with the lowest cost of living is Mississippi, where $100 is worth $115.21. The highest cost of living, in contrast, is in Washington, D.C., where $100 is only worth $84.96. That's a 36% difference in the purchasing power of the same unit of currency. To put it another way, someone who made $50,000/year after taxes in Mississippi would have to make $68,000 in D.C. to afford the same lifestyle.

Here's the map chopped up into pieces for easy reading (don't say we never did you any favors):

God's Country.(via Tax Foundation)

Flavor Country.(via Tax Foundation)

Gator Country.(via Tax Foundation)

The rest.(via Tax Foundation)

Here are the five states where $100 is worth the most:

Mississippi – $115.21
Arkansas – $114.29
South Dakota – $114.21
Alabama – $114.03
West Virginia – $113.12

And here are the four states and one district where $100 is worth the least:

Washington, D.C. – $84.96
Hawaii – $86.06
New York – $86.73
New Jersey – $87.34
California – $89.05

The conclusion is clear: living near the ocean is expensive. The more landlocked you are, the more you'll save.

Related: The hourly wage you'd need to afford a 2-bedroom rental in every state.

The Tax Foundation points out that this undercuts a lot of our assumptions about wealth in America. Although rural interior states have lower average wages, the correspondingly low cost of living means that the people there are effectively wealthier. For example, Nebraskans have more purchasing power than Californians on average:

But can you get a green juice in Nebraska? Yes, and it's much cheaper.
(via Tax Foundation)

The Foundation points out that this data should be better used in determining economic policies. The government's current math is only based on the numerical value of dollars. The article points out:

Many policies – like minimum wage, public benefits, and tax brackets – are denominated in dollars. But with different price levels in each state, the amounts aren't equivalent in purchasing power. This has some unexpected consequences; people in high-price-level states like New Jersey will often pay more in federal taxes without feeling particularly rich.

I'm from New Jersey, and I can attest to that. I never felt rich until I traveled to the South and realized I could live like a king down there on the same salary. You know why I came back? I don't.

There exists, on the Internet, an edited video of squirrels, birds and rabbits for his kitty.

What makes me laugh in this video isn't this little guy's head, twisting and turning so his eyes catch every leaping squirrel on the screen. It's not even the idea that someone would take the time to edit a video of animals cats like to chase for a cat's enjoyment. I mean, I got a second cat just to keep my first cat happy, so clearly anyone who loves cats is in danger of going nuts to please them at any moment. What makes me laugh is that this cat looks like any person who is in too deep with binge-watching a new TV series. Because behold how this guy looks two hours later, still enraptured:

"Just one more episode."(via Celestialstein)

It's like when the screen goes black for a sec and you see only your own reflection looking back at you, just... staring. Want to recreate the experiment with your baby? Here ya go:

Meet the woman who has become a figure in the fight against Turkey's domestic abuse problem.

Çilem Doğan being escorted to jail. (via Cosmo)

Çilem Doğan was trapped in a terrible marriage. Just 28 days after her wedding, her husband started violently abusing her. His name was Hasan Karabulut, and he wanted his wife to become a prostitute. He would beat her whenever she refused his wishes. One time, he even imprisoned her so that she would concede to his demands. Luckily, her mom found out and threatened to call the authorities on him.

Doğan was planning to leave Karabulut after the ordeal, but found out she was pregnant. She tried to make the marriage work for the sake of her child. This didn't stop Hasan, however; he continued to act violently towards his wife during her pregnancy, and when she was seven months pregnant, he ordered her once again to become a prostitute. He even beat her while she was in the hospital delivering their child. Doğan tried getting a divorce afterwards, but Karabulut threatened her family.

One morning, Karabulut told Doğan to pack her bags. He was going to take her to the Turkish city of Antalya, where he planned for her to start working as a prostitute. Doğan refused again. He started beating her once more, but this time, she had had enough. According to the 28-year-old Turkish woman:

“When I opposed, he beat me. He pushed me on the bed and the pistol under the pillow came into my mind. I grabbed it and shot him repeatedly. Then I took my daughter and left the home."

Karabulut was found dead with six bullet wounds. Doğan was quickly caught and arrested. Although her story is gripping enough on its own, what really put her in the spotlight was her blasé attitude towards the whole ordeal. She is completely confident that what she did was right, and why shouldn't she be? She was acting out of self-defense.

Kendisine şiddet uyguluyan eski eşini öldüren #ÇilemDoğan "kadınlar ölmesin biraz da erkekler ölsün" demiş. pic.twitter.com/zjEnFeFNwJ

— dilâra ♀ (@DilaraGurcu) July 9, 2015

While being escorted to jail by Turkish police, Doğan gave the cameras a thumbs up.

Dear past, thanks for all the lessons#CilemDoğanpic.twitter.com/ECxsDtvGuW
— Mehmet Selcuk Bilge (@mselcukbilge) July 9, 2015

She said she had "no regrets," and made the following statement to a Turkish newspaper:

“Will women always die? Let some men die too. I killed him for my honor."

Doğan's story has a deep resonance in Turkey, which is considered one of the world's worst countries to be a woman. This is the result of a high domestic violence rate (over 40% of Turkish women have been abused) and scarce resources for women. It was not always thus, however. Experts say things have gotten worse since the rise to power of pro-Islamist Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan and his Justice and Development Party (AKP), which oversaw such top-level changes as changing the name of the Ministry of State for Women's Affairs to the Ministry of Families and Social Policies, sending a strong message about the role of women. Doğan's story also has a deep resonance with domestic violence survivors all over the world, who have expressed support for her over social media.

You go girl! Self defense is not murder. #CilemDoğan
— Maria Bugge (@maria_bugge) July 13, 2015

It's 2015! Help put an END to domestic abuse, #Turkey! Free #CilemDoğan - no questions asked! He would've killed her eventually & the kid.
— amanda (@amandatufnail) July 13, 2015

My thoughts are with #CilemDoğan today. Some things women should never have to endure.
— Emily Ford (@__whitegold) July 12, 2015

At the time of the arrest, Doğan was wearing a shirt that said "“Dear past, thanks for all the lessons. Dear future, I am ready."

* kadınlar ölmesin, biraz da erkekler ölsün! öz savunma haktır! #CilemDogan#NevinYıldırımpic.twitter.com/H7ESpsLixI
— Selin Görkem (@sLngrkm) July 10, 2015