Singer Solange is no stranger to speaking up and being open about her opinions. For instance, there was that time she physically assaulted her brother-in-law Jay-Z (Solange is Beyoncé's sister, in case you're totally lost right now) in an elevator. She's a strong lady and she doesn't take any guff, especially when it comes to her family. Like her 10-year-old son named Julez. Solange doesn't post many photos of Julez on social media platforms, but she took a chance with this adorable LL Cool J costume he wore for Halloween:

Great look! Of course, where some people see a cute kid, other people see an opportunity to be a total assh*le.

With a million Instagram followers ready to comment, Solange must get lots of terrible messages all day long. Apparently, calling her son ugly is the straw that broke the camel's back, because she actually responded to @alexandriaaaf:

It's true: just as Solange is willing to kick Jay-Z's ass, she WILL come for you. Meanwhile, she and Julez are doing just fine:

These friends went reverse trick-or-treating, which is exactly what it sounds like. The video was posted by Trent Toney, an Oregon-based YouTuber, and features him and his friend dressed as grandmas and visiting houses to give out candy. Most people are pleasantly surprised, after getting over the giant door in front of their door, that is. 

5. Taylor Swift, because she's being sued for stealing the lyrics to "Shake It Off."

At first glance, it seems like T. Swift has everything going for her—her albums are huge hits, she's beloved around the world, her squad now includes 30% of the world's population… but all that success just makes her more of a target. Case in point: she's being sued for $43 million for stealing lyrics.

Singer Jessie Braham, who contrary to what you're thinking is a real person, claims that Swift stole the chorus of her megahit "Shake It Off" from his 2013 track "Haters Gone Hate" (released under the name Jesse Graham for God knows why).

Here are the contested lines. Swift sings:

Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate

Whereas Braham sings:

Haters gone hate, playas gone play. Watch out for them fakers, they'll fake you everyday.

Those are pretty similar. It would be very damning if it weren't for the fact that it was already a cliché many years before either of them said it. While it's unlikely Braham will ever see a dime from this lawsuit, it will at least bring some attention to his nonexistent music career. If you want to be complicit in this desperate scheme, give a listen to his song below. It will only make you feel worse for him.

4. Mr. Met, because his team lost the World Series.

Despite his omnipresent smile, everyone knows Mr. Met is a deeply depressed mascot. Not only is his head too big to fit in a revolving door, his team has been the punchline of the MLB for a generation. This year, the Mets had a chance to break that streak and win the World Series for the first time since 1986, thus rubbing sweet redemption in the faces of everyone who ever doubted them (a lot of faces), but alas, it was not to be. Last night, the Kansas City Royals took down the Mets in Game 5, winning with a decisive 4-1 record.

Now that his dreams have been dashed for at least another year, if not another 29, what is Mr. Met supposed to do with himself? Will he return to his regular off-season gig as a practice target for snipers in training? Will he even have the stomach to work? Let's hope so.

In the end, it may be for the best that his team didn't win. Mr. Met's plunky determinism in the face of adversity has always been the secret to his popularity. And nobody wants to see him get a swell head.

3. A drunk woman who broke into a zoo to pet a tiger and was bitten.

It's a tragedy that no one could have foreseen. Or, to be more accurate, anyone could have foreseen unless they were really, really drunk. As drunk as Jacqueline Eide of Omaha, for example.

On Halloween night, the 33-year-old Eide got hammered enough that she decided she needed to pet a tiger (they're so soft!), and she knew just where to get it. She broke into the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo and made it into the tiger cage, where she came face-to-face with Mai, an 18-year-old Malayan tiger. She tried to pet Mai, and Mai bit her. Because she's a goddamn tiger.

Eide was taken to the hospital with severe hand injuries. She may even lose fingers, which is ironic because Mai is missing a leg. Did the tiger bite her so that she wouldn't feel so alone in her disability? No, she did it because she's a goddamn tiger. And tigers have no time for drunk morons, goddammit.

2. Bradley Cooper, because his movie Burnt went up in flames at the box office.

You may have seen a commercial for the new Bradley Cooper vehicle Burnt in the past few weeks and though, "Maybe I'll go see that." But guess what? You didn't! No one did.

Burnt, a drama starring Cooper as a troubled chef (oy), came in 5th at the box office with $5 million in ticket sales, nearly $1 million less than Hotel Transylvania 2. Does this signal a faltering of B. Coop's box office power? Let's hope not, because it'll be another year and a half until he has another chance to voice a highly-profitable raccoon.

Meanwhile, he wasn't the only big star to suffer this weekend. Sandra Bullock's political satire Our Brand Is Crisis only raked in $3.4 million in its opening weekend, although that was a much lower-budget picture. So they knew it was going to fail.

Here's the trailer for Burnt, if you want to have a flashback to that Jessie Braham song from before:

1. A prosecutor who was suspended for threatening to shoot Halloween decorations that were too scary.

Chris White, an assistant prosecutor in Logan Country, West Virginia, had an extreme reaction to some festive spider decorations placed around his office for the Halloween season. While many people would roll their eyes and grimace at the tackiness of things like that, White took it further. He whipped out his gun and started threatening to shoot the little bastards.

Witnesses report that White told his coworkers he was "deathly afraid of spiders" before producing the weapon, so it's not like they didn't have warning. He also assured them after the fact that the gun wasn't loaded, but to no avail—weeks after the incident, he was suspended by his boss, Prosecuting Attorney John Bennett. Bennett was still receiving complaints about White's behavior, just because it was totally psycho.

Although White, as a public servant, should be held to a higher standard, his actions are understandable. For one, he has a phobia, which can make anyone act irrationally. And also, he brought the Halloween spirit to that office like never before. Let's face it: cheesy spider and witch decorations are never actually scary. But a wild-eyed coworker brandishing a gun and screaming about shooting those things into little plasticky bits? That's a classic Halloween fright!

Recently, actress Jennifer Lawrence askedsome uncomfortable questions in an essay for Lena Dunham's email newsletter Lenny Letter. Mostly, she asked herself and her fellow actresses how it's been permitted that there's still a persistent gender wage gap in 2015 Hollywood even for A-list celebs whose contracts are negotiated by top agents. It all began when the Sonyhack exposed the fact that Jennifer Lawrence made considerably less than her male co-stars in American Hustle, despite the fact that she's one of the most bankable actresses in Hollywood. The reaction to her essays have been varied, but one publication decided to title their coverage of the story "Jennifer Lawrence’s complaint a bratty display from a wealthy youngster."

While at a press conference for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2 on Saturday, Lawrence responded to questions about her essay, and referenced the offending title as a perfect example of why women need to speak up:

I hoped to just write about my own fears of how am I going to be portrayed? Or how am I going to look? How will people judge me? Obviously the men in the movie don’t think that way.

Even after I wrote it, I don’t remember the website, but they called it 'Jennifer Lawrence’s bratty display.' And I was like, 'Thank you for completely making my point.' If a woman speaks up, is assertive and has  a voice, she’s going to be called 'a brat.' I don’t see a man being called 'a brat.' 

Hunger Games producer Nina Jacobson backed up her girl, saying:

As girls we don't always have the confidence to feel like we won't be judged if we speak up. That's at the heart of that essay. It's a really important thing to speak up.

It is important to keep speaking up. Just like a man would.

This elephant trying to take a bath was doing all right until his mom came and pulled out the rug from under him. The video was taken at Elephant Nature Park in Thailand and posted by Elephant News, the park's in-house news network which coincidentally sounds like the world's most fun place to intern. The baby elephant's name is Navaan, and it's safe to say that next time, he'll probably just force the zoo-keepers to hose him down.

Could Navaan beat out Double Trouble as world's most cute elephant trying to take a bath?

Ariana Grande wasn't having it with the sexist questions she was being asked on Power 106's #LiftOff radio show. She was there to promote her new single, "Focus," and was asked whether, if given a choice, she'd use her cell phone or makeup one last time. Instead of giving an answer, she asked them in response, “Is that what you think girls have trouble choosing between? Is this men assuming that that’s what girls would have to choose between?" This led to a larger discussion about gender and equality, with Grande letting the male hosts know that they need some "brushing up about equality." The exchange starts at around the 16:00 mark in the video below.

 Looks like they need to FOCUS. Ha. 

At first, the idea that Donald Trump and John Oliver might have words for each other seems reasonable enough. John Oliver is the host of a late-night (albeit once-weekly) news comedy show and Donald Trump is news comedy. When you think further about it, however, you remember that Last Week Tonight is a show that really digs into issues and facts, one that pursues topics that are often never mentioned in the frothy whirlpool of the 24-hour news cycle. Trump, however, is the embodiment of the excitement and shallowness of that same cycle. Here's John Oliver speaking to fellow Daily Show​ alum Stephen Colbert about how happy Oliver is that he doesn't have to pay attention to Trump:

On Friday, Oliver went on CBS This Morning to talk about his take on the American political process. Again, he talked both about the insane length of our presidential campaigns and his lack of interest in dealing with Trump, who he refers to as "an open book" with nothing interesting written inside:

The fact that Oliver was on TV essentially saying that at no point would he ever invite Trump on his show (a show that generally doesn't do interviews, with the famous exception of Edward Snowden) proved an irresistible temptation for Trump, who promptly lashed out on Twitter.

Although it's unlikely that Trump's supporters noticed, Last Week Tonight's aplomb helped propel their response to victory in terms of Twitter support.

And thus in one Tweet, Donald Trump both succeeded in getting John Oliver to break his promise not to engage with Trump while displaying exactly the behavior that prompts Oliver to go on TV and say he "couldn't give less of a sh**" about Trump. It's physically impossible." One year to go, everyone!

It's Movember, that time of the year when men let their upper lips go scruffy in the name of raising awareness (as opposed to the other 11 months when they do it out of laziness or vanity). In honor of that, Cut has turned the eye of its "100 Years" series to men's facial hair (and along with it, the hair on top of men's heads too). But just a warning, guys: The fact that this dude can still pull off 2000's boy band hair doesn't mean you can, too. Don't try it. 

Essena O'Neill is an Australian Instagram celebrity who recently realized that being a social media celebrity isn't the life she wants to lead. As she explains on her new site, Let's Be Game Changers, even though she had half a million Instagram followers, a modeling contract, and a perfect-looking life, she wasn't happy. That's why, at the age of 18, she's decided to step away from social media. Her last act there, however, has been to go through many of her Instagram photos and rewrite the captions. Now, instead of bragging how perfect her life is, the captions detail what was really happening when the image was taken, from product placements to reshooting a "candid" image 100 times so her stomach looked flat enough.

O'Neill's goal is to help her "12-year-old self" and all other women of all internal and external ages understand that being a social media celebrity isn't necessarily fun or healthy (which isn't to say it can't ever be, but it wasn't for her). Although what she’s doing is great, some of the captions and videos on her site raise the question of whether she’s taking enough time for herself now. As you can see from the new captions on some of her posts, she's mourning the time that she "lost" to creating a persona on social media:

Hopefully, O'Neill's project can help others—and, once she's actually off of social media, she can spend more time focusing on the things she wants to. Like looking at adorable animals, which you can see from the edited caption, she still loves:

When Sir David Attenborough visited BBC Radio 1 for an interview and webcast recently, his hosts very wisely asked him to narrate Adele's music video for "Hello." Attenborough is known the world over as the voice (and often face) of some of the best nature documentaries ever produced. If the biblical Apocalypse was narrated by Sir David Attenborough, most people would sit placidly and enjoy learning about the various species of gibbering hell demons coming to gnaw on their entrails for all eternity. Sir David Attenborough is good at narrating, is the point. Obviously, Adele's "Hello" is much more hilarious than the Apocalypse, as we know already from the social media reaction to her flip phone, as well as other parodies.

For half a decade now, Jimmy Kimmel has been devastating children and putting parents at risk with his annual "Tell your children you ate their Halloween candy and film their tantrums!" prank. This year got particularly dark, as children said "I don't want to see you ever again, go get a job!" and literally kicked and knocked the camera down. But it's adorable! 

Mark Ruffalo even got in on the action, and you don't want to see The Hulk's kids when they're angry.

There's nothing more annoying than your parents saying, "I hate to say I told you so!" Because you know they love it. But as you get older, it's kind of a relief to realize your parents were right. It's nice to have had a warning, even if you didn't follow it. A recent thread on Reddit asked the internet, "What was your biggest "shit, my parents were right" moment?" Here are the most enlightening answers.

FunkatronicLightning 

I liked a girl that was way out of my league in college. Told my mom about the bad crush and how I thought I would just move on. She said, "You can fail at something you don’t want so you might as well fail at something that matters." We've been married for 3 years this November. The crush... not my mother and I.

WarrantedQueen

A phrase my mom always said to cheer me up while stressed in university: "If it was easy everybody would do it." Sounded so stupid at the time but I've used the same line to cheer up countless friends who were stressed with exams etc. Mom is always right. 

FortKnox

At age 18 you'll know everything.

By age 25 you'll realize the world isn't as simple as you think.

By 30 you'll be frightened that people trust your opinion when you know you don't know very much about a subject.

RoseTylerI- 

"You're lucky your parents still kiss"

They would always tell me that after I got grossed out when they kissed as a little kid. I didn't really realize the huge truth behind that until I started going to friends house's more and seeing their parents almost always argue and stay in separate rooms or something like that.

Be thankful your parents smooch god damnit.

Greasychimpanzees

"Not all your friends need to be 'forever-friends', some people are just meant to be your friend for that particular time in your life"

AdamCartel

Dad left me with something cool before he died: "Wanting to fuck somebody over and over for the rest of your life isn't love. Wanting to be with somebody for the rest of your life no matter how many times life fucks you both over and over though? Could be."

Boganiuz

I have a little more casual advice from my Dad.

"Don't keep your hands in your pockets because if you lose balance and fall over you won't be able to put out hands quickly enough and will hit your nose"

I disregarded this advice. Guess what happened 5 mins later

DSAPEER

"You can't fly with the eagles if you sleep with the pigeons."

Turns out the wrong friends really can hold you back and drag you down.

Way_fairer

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

Kryrinn

Dad: "heat never goes past 68! If you're cold, put on a sweatshirt

Own house with roommates, set heat at 75, enjoy a tropical month, get first heating bill. Promptly lock thermostat to 68. Roommate whined, told her to put on a sweatshirt.

MFTom86

My Dad used to always tell me, "there will be a time when all new music sucks to you, when movies you loved as a kid get remade and ruined and you've gotta hear from younger generations about how much better they are than the originals"

At 29 years old I gotta say he's right.

Elementary actress Lucy Liu shared a new photo of her baby, so go ahead and post it on your refrigerator along with all the birth announcements from totally random people like your family and friends. The new Instagram picture shows Liu's 10-week-old son, Rockwell, and says "Mood #Rockwell." Way to caption your photo like a true millennial, 46-year-old Lucy Liu!

The baby, who it should be noted is very cute, was born in August via a surrogate. And this pic marks a very important milestone in the infant's development: the third Instagram photo.

People are tweeting about their most embarrassing moments and they are, well, very embarrassing. It all started when "The Bloggess," a writer and Twitter personality, tweeted the following:

Her followers then started tweeting similar scenarios from their own life in response:

Lawson seemed happy with it:

The 2015 Melbourne Cup was just won by Michelle Payne riding a horse named Prince of Penzance. This is pretty awesome, because she's the first female jockey ever to win. Horse racing is a pretty male-dominated sport, but Michelle Payne comes from a famous racing family. In fact, eight of her nine siblings have been jockeys, though none have ever won such a huge race before. But she wasn't the only Payne member at the Melbourne Cup. Her brother Stephen Payne is her strapper, and she credits him as a part of her success. They're just so cute, it's ridiculous:

Stephen has Down syndrome, and his presence in the stables and at the race is considered a great opportunity for visibility for people with disabilities. Michelle talked about how wonderful it is to see him working in an interview:

I think he'll be great. It's great to be able to share this experience with him...We were always the youngest two growing up and spent a lot of time together... it's great for him to have such an important role...I think it's great for other people with Down syndrome - to see how capable they can be in normal life. Stevie can pretty much do anything, and look after himself when he's on his own.

And everyone is celebrating them:

People are also celebrating this drunk woman at the race for pushing a police officer down and not getting murdered after:

Keep going, Payne siblings. Also the horse, good job horse:

This Tinder Halloween costume is brilliant, fun, and achieves the goal of getting complete strangers to put their hands all over you. The crafty gentleman that made it included several fun options to swipe left on, before his profile is revealed as the clear winner. It's very impressive, especially considering that homemade Halloween costumes can be a true disaster if you're not careful. And everyone appreciates costumes that are actually clever and funny. 

It really takes a great deal of effort to have the best costume when you're solo. It's easy when you have strength in numbers from a group costume, or a couples costume (the costumes we all love to hate). What's more, this guy mimicked the experience of Tinder perfectly. The only discernible profile was Carrot Top, and the rest were just plain scary faces and poses:

This guy. 

Here's the full costume in all its swiping glory:

The only thing we don't know is how many drunk people it took to ultimately ruin this costume. He may have gotten loaded and fell down, or some overly-zealous drunk people swiped too hard until it fell to pieces. Hopefully he made a few matches before its demise.

An undercover police operation didn't work, because Canadians were being too nice. 

Earlier this year in Vancouver, Canada, there were some horrifying instances of disabled people in wheelchairs getting beaten up and mugged. To catch the criminals, the Vancouver Police Department hatched a plan. The Ottawa Citizen described the idea:

Working with other VPD members, peer support workers and rehabilitation specialists, [Vancouver Police staff sergeant Mark] Horsley hatched a cunning scheme. He borrowed a $16,000 electric-powered wheelchair, grew some facial hair and wheeled into the DTES, undercover.

Hosley, equipped with a wheelchair and disguise, tried to "bait criminals by flashing cash and valuables, such as cellphones and cameras." 

Instead of meeting robbers and beligerents, "people approached with offers of sympathy and hope. Encouragement. Friendly cautions. They made unsolicited donations: food, other stuff, and $24 in spare change." 

It's probably the only case in which people were disappointed that they weren't robbed. Way to be so nice that you ruin the operation, Canada. Americans probably would have taken the bait.