Of all the modern relationship trials that a couple can experience, is there any worse than a trip to Ikea? It's the crucible in which breakups are forged, a near-literal maze where couples can get stuffed on meatballs and frozen yogurt before arguing about everything from interior design to money to whether or not they want to have children. And that's just before they take the stuff home and try to put it together.
Comedian Tyler Fischer decided to run with this idea and add a soothing—or at least amusing—presence to Ikea by posing as a couple's therapist in the store. Did he solve any problems? Maybe not. But he at least diffused some tension.
Hopefully, you don't act like these people when you eat at restaurants, and your waiter does not, in fact, hate you—unfortunately, as anyone who has waited tables knows, a shocking percentage of humanity is like this. Don't do these things. Order when you're ready to order. Order things the restaurant sells. Don't be a lunatic. It's actually not very hard. Nevertheless:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqHLdfVqAPY
This video comes from The Mutiny, a sketch group from the iOWest comedy theater in Los Angeles. Their waiters don't hate them (because they're comedians, and thus, probably also waiters).
Ryan Reynolds interrupted Hugh Jackman's press junket for Eddie the Eagle, and conducted his own interview, which was exactly as handsome and charming as you might expect. Reynolds is currently starring in the #1 movie in America, Deadpool, and Hugh Jackman's upcoming film is a feel-good biopic about a 1970s British Olympic ski jumper, in which he plays the coach. They sort of discuss the film, questions from "Bryan Breynolds," and the fact that Jackman may or may not be sleeping with Reynold's wife, Blake Lively.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqLVvj6Ks20
Reynolds may or may not have seen said film, but he made sure to take time to poke fun at the last time Reynolds played Deadpool, which was in Jackman's Wolverine: Origins. That Deadpool did not go over well with fans (they weirdly sealed his mouth despite the fact that Deadpool's whole thing besides his superpowers is being a smartass), and the movie kind of put a wet blanket on Fox's whole X-Men universe until the X-Men: First Class reboot. Nevertheless, the success of the new film may lead to crossovers with the X-Men universe (Fox owns the rights to X-Men-related Marvel properties), which would be great because this interview is great.
It's easy enough to embarrass yourself on social media without any help, so make sure to log off your accounts after you use public computers. And whatever you do, never leave your phone lying around, or you might find yourself with a hijacked account. Then you'll look like one of these dopes.
1. Alien invasion.
Kissy kissy.
2. Hi, mom!
Kayla's mom? Somehow worse.
3. Butter beware.
So if there isn't a stick that can't escape, does that mean he doesn't like margarine?
4. Trouble in parasite.
They're so clingy.
5. Judd Hirsch shall have his revenge!
Instant karma.
6. Basic dad behavior.
The dad nonsense is the same. Only the technology is new.
7. The worst thing you can do to someone's Facebook account.
Offer not valid in Canada.
8. Heard you like Nickelback.
That's, like, 40 times.
9. You wouldn't have a birthday without your mom!
Maybe send her some flowers?
10. The most effective spam.
Haha, yes, but do they work? Asking for a friend.
11. The cat becomes the mouse.
Two wrongs DO make a right.
12. Check out this genius.
And check out this Genius.
13. Apple Jerks.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, though.
Love him or hate him, you've got to hand it to him—The Donald is getting pretty damn good at annoying the living daylights out of Jeb Bush. Recently, Trump (or someone on his campaign) pranked Jeb Bush by buying the domain JebBush.com and having it redirect automatically to, yep, you guessed it, DonaldJTrump.com. Slow clap, Donald, kudos.
There are so many photos of Jeb Bush looking disappointed.
Bush has been using the website Jeb2016.com throughout his campaign, while the domain JebBush.com (which according to records, he never owned—looks like no one ever bothered to teach Grandpa computers) was registered anonymously but not in use. In April 2015 CNN reported that JebBush.com was available for the low, low price of $250,000, but clearly Bush didn't snap it up (currently it's registered to the domain name service Fabulous.com PTY Ltd.) because in December it started sending visitors to Trump's site.
You'd think Bush would have learned his lesson by now—this isn't his first time at the domain name prank rodeo. In 2008 a gay couple in Texas bought the domain JebBushForPresident.com and use it as a personal blog for their loving relationship. Also, if you click on JebBushForPresident.net, and you'll see a homepage emblazoned with a "Jeb Bush For President NOT!" header.
For his latest round of Carpool Karaoke on The Late Late Show, James Corden picked up Sia, which is a wonder because Sia could barely make it to the car with her vision-blocking wig. Always one to give it his all, Corden donned a matching wig, but not before belting out "Chandelier" and having an important conversation on aliens. Then Corden informed the world about Sia's impressive egg-carrying hands. There was a lot going on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_RzBeC5ZJY
"You can't even see the level of dance I'm doing right now," Corden told Sia. Thankfully everyone else could.
NBC released the first clip of An All Star Tribute to James Burrows, a celebration of the legendary sitcom director, which will air this Sunday. Five-sixths of the Friendscast reunited to honor him—hanging out together on a red couch, which is the closest we'll get to seeing them on Central Perk's iconic orange couch again. After Matt LeBlanc sent a sincere shoutout to the other Matt(hew Perry), the gang shared that Burrows was The One who made the Friends friends, letting them use his big dressing room to bond and play poker. It's delightfully stilted—just like when you hang out with friends you haven't seen for a while—especially when Lisa Kudrow makes a joke about Burrows' piano playing and it does not go over well.
The mix-up, first noticed by Twitter user @AutieeAshh on Feb. 11, occurred in the slideshow for "10 Young Celebs Who Talk Openly About Their Sexuality," which has since been corrected with the following note: "A previous version of this story misidentified Keke Palmer. This has now been corrected."
But Palmer and Banks were understandably upset by it nonetheless.
Every so often a new form of junk food breaks onto the scene that makes us all lose our minds, and our willpower. Here are the top innovations in food deliciousness. One look at these, and you'll say, "kale who?"
It seems like an average donut, but when you look inside.... JACK-POT! A Cinnamon roll inside a donut is like a turducken for people with a sweet tooth.
https://www.instagram.com/p/7llIQBTduM/
7. Marshmallow Only Lucky Charms.
They only made 10 boxes of these magically delicious bad boys.
The croissant-donut hybrid burst on to the scene and into our bellies in 2013, and people went nuts trying to get their hands on one at Dominique Ansel’s SoHo bakery, where they were invented. It's much easier to get your Cronut fix these days; they're available at Dunkin Donuts as a "croissant donut."
From Dominique Ansel, the inventor of the Cronut, came the next big innovation for putting food in our food holes. The cookie is the glass. Genius, and no dishes to do afterwards.
Yup, he did. Well, someone at the party did. And when Jimmy Kimmel confronted Tyga about the ridiculous situation on his show last night, the California rapper responded with some questionable rambling.
Tyga claims it wasn't his party, he was paid to perform there. And although Tyga wasn’t at the door when it all went down, he should have at least been more wary about the situation, especially when it’s folks of such high importance. Because apparently, Beck and Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters were denied as well.
"Don't tweet me, tweet the fire marshal," Tyga said. Umm, okay.
“How VIP do we gotta get?” McCartney asked at the time. The real question McCartney should be asking himself is: "of all after-parties attend, why the hell did I choose Tyga’s?"
Adele took a trip to Disneyland on Tuesday, and her son Angelo rocked an Anna costume from Frozen. Adele swung by Disneyland after she made her appearance at the Grammys on Sunday night, soaking up the full southern California experience. She was of course accompanied by partner and proud papa Simon Konecki, who appeared to be having the time of his life:
Adele has previously stated that she'd be supportive of whatever her son chooses in life. And she now joins a growing rank of parents that are totally cool with their boys wearing Frozen costumes. You practically have to be Grammy Award-winning artist these days to afford admission to Disneylandand merchandise from the movie Frozen.
Applying a fake, even tan at home is tricky stuff that—despite your best efforts— usually leaves certain tell-tale signs like Oompa Loompa-colored hands. According to Mashable, a one Amy Ridler inspired her Facebook followers, namely 17-year-old Imogen Silversides, to try her innovating strategy of using a paint roller to get that elusive perfect fake tan.
Ridler's post-paint roller photo displays an evenly bronzed skin tone.
"When I showered it off I did become a nice color," said Silversides, who, from the looks of it, has since shed her faux-tan.
But she said she plans on donning the tan once more for TV appearances. While it's easy to question Silversides's motives, at least people are ready to acknowledge that life hacks do not always work out as intended.
When New Yorker Reilly Flaherty lost his wallet at a Wilco concert in Brooklyn, he thought he'd lost it for good, with only the indie jams of Wilco to remember it by. Weeks later, a plain white envelope arrived in his mailbox with his drivers license, credit cards, and a charmingly honest note from the guy who found it:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BB1EVOOlH9h/
"I kept the cash because I needed weed, the MetroCard because well the fare's $2.75 now, and the wallet cause it's kind of cool," Anonymous wrote.
New York is loving this story, and it even made it to the cover of the New York Post because it's a slow news day without an election going on or anything.
Flaherty had already replaced all his cards, and was disappointed to have to part with the vintage wallet. Still, he maintains that if they had connected under other circumstance, the two Wilco fans would have been friends.
Flaherty has some theories about the mystery thief, hypothesizing that he is much like The One Who Knocks. But he has a more sympathetic message for him, rather than just "tread lightly."
To be honest, I was thinking this person is the Walter White of wallet returning. They start out with seemingly good intentions, but then you quickly realize they're actually just a villain plagued with an insatiable appetite for MetroCard spending and marijuana-infused subway rides-- hurting everyone they love around them. Sadly, this is the plot of Breaking Bad all over again, but instead of meth and illegal firearms, we're dealing in stolen MetroCards and vintage leather goods.
“Whether it was a dollar or a thousand, [this person] is a pot-smoking, modern-day version of Robin Hood,” he joked.
Valentine's Day has come and gone for another year, and for most people, life continued as usual. But for one woman, a day that started out innocent, hopeful, and full of romance ended in a nightmare—mostly in her head, but also on Snapchat.
On Sunday, Imgur user LilMsSliceNDice posted a series of Snapchats chronicling her ill-fated day, starting with the sweet moment she woke up with her guy. His highlighter-yellow sleeping face makes his first appearance resting on the pillow next to hers.
You can tell he doesn't snore because there are no zzzzz's.
Because it was a special day, her fella, usually no fan of the kitchen, decided to try to cook for his lady. His first mistake was microwaving the bacon, but cut him a break, since he's not real.
"No, no, honey, not the whole cat, I'm not really hungry yet."
After breakfast it was time to get the day started. Her boyfriend announced that he was taking her on a mystery date—whoa, who is this guy, The Bachelor?
If there's one thing women love, it's riding the bus on dates.
The mystery date ended up being at Starbucks. Sure, maybe it's not the most original idea, but gals love Starbucks, and her boyfriend pulled the "tough guy" act to make sure they got her name right this time.
He couldn't pay, because he forgot his wallet in his other pants, but that's okay.
After Starbucks, her man was eager to head home, probably to take the romance back to the bedroom.
Kind of rude to run ahead, but maybe he's all hopped up on caffeine.
And that's when tragedy struck.
The worst part is the driver didn't even stop.
Obviously distraught, our heroine grabbed her boyfriend (he's a stick figure, so he only weighs about 2 pounds, max) and rushed him to the hospital. Because he's a stick figure, his insurance is lousy—no ambulances for stick figure boyfriends, so she had to get back on the bus and beg people not to press the "request stop" button.
Ugh, sucks to be the janitor who had to clean up this gore.
Their ordeal ended here, on these steps, where her lover bled out, and she left him. Presumably to be eaten by stick figure vultures. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, stick to stick.
Good night, sweet imaginary angel.
Back home, stunned and alone, she turned to the church frequented most by young women around the world—Beyoncé.
It was hard at first, but she was learning to live again.
And within minutes, she was fine. Hey guys, guess what? Boyfriends aren't so great anyway.
Two minutes later: "Yup, I'm fine, all good. THANKS BEYONCE!"
The end…OR IS IT? Check out the full post to see who makes a surprising comeback (spoiler: it's her boyfriend, a.k.a. the Ghost of Valentine's Day Past).
With the Olsen Twins out of Fuller House, the Tanner family found a new baby to comfort: Donald Trump.
He's a natural fit for the family, combining the hair obsession and vanity of Uncle Jesse with the cartoonish tomfoolery of Uncle Joey. The sketch was full of the Full Houseformula: the catchphrases, the emotional music, and most importantly, a beautiful lesson of acceptance. KimmyGibblerphobia is not what will Make America Great Again.
The most important political endorsement this side of Elizabeth Warren just came in, and it's excellent news for Bernie Sanders. The woman behind the vocals of the enormously viral hit "Crush on Obama" just released 2016's version, and it's staunchly in support of the silver foxed "Bernie Bae."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY1LwVn7eAc
Sure, it's less sexy than the Obama version. But that's to be expected. Bernie is exactly 1,000 years older and grayer than Obama. That is, Obama's 2008 incarnation. Eight years of trying to pronounce "John Boehner" correctly can really age a man.
Here's the original Obama version from Leah Kauffman. This one has been viewed over 26 million times over the last nine years, and it doesn't really seem in danger of getting passed up by "Bernie Bae."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKsoXHYICqU
There was just a special magic in 2008.
Someone make one of these for Trump, now. Thank you.
So Jeremy Piatt created a GoFundMe page for Kanye, which has since raised a few hundred dollars towards the $53 million. That's a few hundred more than anyone could have predicted:
Piatt told Mashable that he actually plans to transfer the money to Kanye, and cannot keep it himself:
I am trying to reach out to Kanye or his people so the funds can be transferred to him. I have been in contact with GoFundMe and we've agreed to keep the page up, but I am not able to withdraw any money. The only people who will be able to withdraw money will be Kanye or his team.
Meanwhile, Kanye is keeping his Twitter account warm, and reminded us that he knows what it's like to be a common peasant:
It's not what you say, it's how you say it. This goes double for the printed word, where it's all too easy to be misunderstood. Appropriate letter spacing, or kerning, is key to get your message across appropriately. Otherwise, people on the Internet will laugh at your tragically terrible graphic design skills. It happened to these people; it can happen to you too.
