For Lent, I'm giving up making jokes about what I'm giving up for Lent.
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This year for Lent I'm giving up.
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I'm giving up letting someone rub filthy week-old ashes on my forehead for Lent.
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What Your Dad's Google Search History Probably Looks Like
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It must be a nice change of pace to have a man rub something on your forehead outside of a bedroom.
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Happy Birthday to someone who's too young to know why there's an "e" in front of "ecard."
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Unlike Russia, I'll always be truthful about pulling out.
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If Russia prepares for war like it prepares for the Olympics, none of us have anything to worry about.
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21 Things Everyone Wishes You'd Give Up For Lent
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Let's give up alcohol for Lent to see if we really like each other.
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Happy birthday to someone so old they don't have any real vices to give up for Lent.
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Sorry you have no sense of humor about having no sense of humor.
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If People Reacted Honestly To Your Employment Status Update On Facebook
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8 Diet Books That Should Totally Exist
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I'm so bored I almost checked my voicemail.
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There's no easy way to tell you this but I've already seen the link you sent me.
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At my age, Spring Break means taking my full 30 minutes for lunch.
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One thing funnier than the video you sent me is you believing I'm actually going to watch it.
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Let's discuss the article you sent me with full knowledge that we both only got through the headline.
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I want you to know that I often still think of you while we're having sex.
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