Pet peeve.
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17 TL;DR Wikipedia Entries You Better Not Miss This Week, Or I Swear...
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Enviable.
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A guy had his car commandeered by the police for a high-speed chase, and he got to record the whole thing.
Actually a lot more exciting than this still would have you believe.
If ever there was a compelling reason to get a video dashcam mounted in your car, it's got to be this video, in which a cop commandeers a civilian's car to take it on a high speed chase through the streets of Russia, where it seems that dashcams grow on trees like some wondrous viral-video producing fruit:
In fact, I think I've got to go out and buy one today, because I don't think I'd be able to take it if my car got commandeered by the police and I didn't have a dashcam installed. What's the point of even having a car if you don't have the slim possibility of getting it grabbed by the police and taken into hot pursuit of a bad guy?
None!
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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A hawk attacked a quadcopter drone mid-flight. Wins decisive victory.
Forget quadcopters, I'm getting a hawk.
It looks as though the dominance over U.S. airspace by drones may have hit a snag in the form of large, angry birds. At least when it comes to the skies over Cambridge, Massachusetts. That's what YouTube user Christopher Schmidt learned recently after his quadcopter was attacked by a hawk who didn't appreciate having its territory invaded by the flying noisemaker.
Schmidt says he throttled down the drone when he spotted the bird so that the hawk wouldn't be harmed. The drone wasn't damaged either. But unless he wants more footage of his quadcopter being knocked out of the sky, Schmidt may have to find a new place to fly it.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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Mission accomplished.
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Procrastination
You're doing it right now.
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University's attempt to spread breast cancer awareness spreads awareness of something else entirely.
Were you aware?
The only thing funnier than things that accidentally look like penises is ridiculous ways to spread the word about Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Combine the two, and you have the delicious-looking penis cookies above, which showed up in redditor minidrc's college cafeteria this month.
Or are they penises?
Perhaps we all need to be a little more aware of the fact that, when drawn with frosting, penises and vaginas look very similar indeed.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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Charming elderly Brazilian man shows off his hummingbird friends, probably inspires next Pixar movie.
The hummingbird only speaks Spanish, but he can pick up a little of what the guy's saying.
I don't speak charming elderly Brazilian man, but from what I can gather from the YouTube video description, João Silvestrini has befriended a mother hummingbird and her son. At first, the mama bird came alone, but about a month ago, she started bringing her son. To some, it may seem the birds are just in it for the sugar water, but that would reflect a complete lack of imagination on their part.
Clearly, the birds are visiting not only Mr. Silvestrini, but also the love of his life, who he doesn't realize lives just a few blocks away, and after all these years, they still—no, forget it. Not even Pixar could come up with anything more whimsical than the reality of this gentleman befriending these birds.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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Here it is. The worst thing we've ever seen on a New York City subway.
Been living here a while. Rode the subway a bunch. At least a couple thousand times or so.
Seen a lot of stuff.
Seen sudden outbursts of violence over nothing.
Seen cruelty and seen indifference to suffering.
Seen all sorts of human waste product left behind by people who lost all control.
Seen Doo-wop groups. So many Doo-wop groups.
But this. This is something else entirely.
NO.
(via @meandtherhythm on Twitter)
Spotted just in time by a commuter on a Manhattan-bound F train this morning, who was inches away from grabbing on to it to steady himself. Eyewitness Ryan Quinn told Gothamist, "I moved my hand on the pole to slide down a little and did a double take, because I realized, 'That's a fucking condom.' Just hanging there, tied like a balloon. It was eye-level, it was disgusting."
The subway is the canvas for all variety of repulsive visuals, but this goes above and beyond. Most horrors are the result of sudden loss of control, the inability to handle another minute stuffed together like so much meat in a metal tube, or the inability to listen to that Doo-wop group sing "My Girl" again.
This was premeditated. It was hung with care, and with malice. It's like a twisted, semen-pumped piece of mistletoe, demanding that everyone standing underneath it take a moment to wonder, "Why in the holy f-ck do I still live in this Godforsaken city?"
Or you'll just wonder what Quinn wondered when he left the train. As he said to Gothamist, "I've never seen anything this disgusting on the subway in my life. I can't wait to see how the rest of my day is going to go."
(by Bob Powers)
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Young woman in bikini will not rest until she gets the perfect selfie.
Slight gust of wind blew a hair out of place. RESHOOT! PLACES PEOPLE!
Stanley Kubrick was famous for shooting the same scene 100 times over to get the perfect shot while also forcing his actors through maniacal repetition and rattling them out of their own heads, shaking them free from their comfort zones. David Fincher is considered his rival in perfectionism, shooting take after take to ensure the framing, lighting, and every single surface is rendered just so.
Both men are sloppy, careless amateurs compared to this auteur, who puts her self through an agonizing marathon of reshoots to capture just the right selfie.
Her critics wonder why she should be so concerned with detail for a brief moment of self-absorption. Her fans know the truth. Why settle for "good enough" when "perfect" might be just around the corner?
She knows the selfie is the search for self. Who would dare cut corners in a search like that?
(by Bob Powers)
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Opening up.
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A bunch of 2nd graders were treated to a $220, seven-course tasting menu.
Second graders. They're just like us.
For the New York Times Magazine's fall food issue, they took a bunch of 2nd graders from P.S. 295 in Brooklyn to dinner at Daniel, one of New York's most expensive restaurants. The kids dined on Wagyu Beef Rib Eye, Smoked Paprika Cured Hamachi, the restaurant's signature madeleines and more, and they washed it all down with custom-designed non-alcoholic cocktails.
Head chef Daniel Boulud commented that the goal was "for the children to really discover a lot of flavor, a lot of layers, a lot of texture." A bunch of those textures were totally gross. The caviar freaked out at least one kid; another commented that the squash ravioli tasted like soap.
And just like many adults who have no doubt pretended to be enraptured by tiny food they can't identify, the kids were thrilled to see the arrival of dessert.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)
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5 people who are probably going to be looking for work this week.
5. The high school teacher who grabbed a student's bikini pic off of Facebook and showed it during an assembly.
(via Thinkstock)
A high school teacher in Plymouth, England was trying to teach students a lesson about the dangers of social media, and wound up demonstrating why teachers displaying a 15-year-old's bikini pics during a school assembly is a terrible idea. The teacher at Eggbuckland community college downloaded the image from the girl's Facebook page which she'd posted a year before. Not surprisingly, the girl was upset. The school says it's launching a "formal investigation," which means they're hoping the story dies down before they're forced to scale the mountain of paperwork involved with firing a teacher. If nothing else, it seems a lot of valuable lessons were learned in the assembly that day.
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4. The White House staffer working on Global Women's Issues who brought a hooker back to his hotel in Colombia.
(via Getty)
We've all got needs. And there are as many different opinions on employing sex workers as there are sex positions. That said, when you're working for the the Obama administration as a policy adviser in the Office on Global Women's Issues, hiring hookers is considered a no-no. According to the Washington Post, Jonathan Dach brought a hooker back to his hotel room in Colombia while on assignment as a member of the presidential advance team. Unfortunately for him, it happened to be on the same trip that 12 Secret Service agents were busted for doing the same thing, which is kind of a big deal. The reason Dach's involvement has flown under the radar could be because Secret Service agents and hookers are a much sexier story. Though, it could also have something to do with Dach's father being a prominent democratic donor to the tune of $23,000. Sexy!
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3. The person who accidentally tweeted a link to a porn site on a news station's Twitter followers.
(via)
Lots of people were wondering why "rockbone" was trending on Twitter earlier this week. That's because Pornhub user "rockbone" also happens to be in charge of tweeting for WREG News in Memphis, and accidentally sent out a link to the porn site while attempting to direct their 28.8K followers to their interactive radar. Viewing porn at work is just asking for trouble. Someone could sneak up and see your screen, or a nosey IT guy could go through your browser history, or coworkers could start complaining about your visible erection (And, yes, I'm assuming it's a dude. So were you). The company quickly deleted the tweet, but it was already too late. Because when the twin forces of news bloopers and porn collide, the result is a storm surge of Twitter jokes that cannot be stopped.
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2. The Baptist Pastor who slept with several members of his congregation without telling them he has AIDS.
(via WBTV)
As a Pastor, if you're speaking to the congregation about your drug use and mismanagement of church funds as a way to ease into a confession about having sex with members of the flock without telling them you have AIDS, you are one crappy pastor. Members of the Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama, just found out they'd been listening to just a such a guy for years. People of faith can be an incredibly forgiving bunch when it comes to the shenanigans of their leaders, but for Pastor Juan Demetrius McFarland to somehow hang on to his job, it will take an act of God.
1. The bank employee who CCd 200,000 coworkers while asking for a raise.
(via WPTZ)
Tyrel Oates was trying to do a nice thing when he emailed his boss, Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf, and suggested the bank use some of their billions in profits to give every employee a $10,000 raise. It's the kind of email that would usually wind up being laughed at or ignored if it were to somehow make it past the big guy's spam filter. The reason Oates' proposal became viral is that he was so excited about the brilliant profit sharing plan that he CCd 200,000 Wells Fargo employees on the email. From there it became a hit on Reddit, because everyone loves "little guy speaking truth to power" stories like this one. Everyone, that is, but the kind of people who run banks. They hate stories like this one. Which is why Tyrel Oates might want to leave it off the resume he'll likely be sending out in the coming weeks.
(by Jonathan Corbett)
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Rob Ford
Rob Ford is an adult garbage pail kid.
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Pass it on.
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Two little kids acted out the dialogue from an actual elderly couple's argument about washing dishes.
"Wash the dishes!"
"Oh, I though you said 'Watch the dishes.'"
Being a little kid is pretty amazing. You can say what you want, do what you want and want what you want, and nobody can really say anything about it, because society says you're supposed to be a free spirit. The only really crappy thing about being a little kid is that one day you grow into a boring adult, who never gets to say, do or want what you want ever, lest you be shunned by society.
However, if you can make it through about 50 or 60 years of that nonsense, eventually you grow into an old person who gets to say, do and want what they want all over again. Because, by then, you're smart enough to tell society to stick it.
If only we could jump right from phase 1 to phase 3, like the kids from this video:
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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A guitarist turned your obnoxious iPhone ringtone into something that's actually nice.
Can I fit this guy inside my phone?
I don't know about you, but my initial thought upon hearing somebody's iPhone "Marimba" ringtone is anger. Intense anger. For some reason, it seems like the kind of person who will choose that as their ringtone—from among the many, many other options that come standard on the device—is the very same kind of person who will leave their iPhone at their desk while they go off to a meeting someplace far away in the building. (This distaste may or may not have its roots in an actual real-world scenario.) It's essentially the bwoop bwoop bwoop eeeeeee uuuuuu eeeeee uuuuuu car alarm of iPhone ringtones.
That said, I thought for sure I was going to hate this video of a guy using that "Marimba" ringtone as the base for his crunchy percussive guitar song. But I was wrong. It's really catchy and fun. It goes to show you that you actually can make something pretty out of something ugly. Provided you are insanely talented:
(by Dennis DiClaudio)
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