My name is Humphrey the Bulldog. You splashed my father. Prepare to die.

This is Humphrey, an 8-week-old English Bulldog puppy who has vowed revenge for some reason on this half-empty water bottle. Moral of the story here? Don't fight water bottles. Water bottles will always win, because they don't care that you're fighting them. It's like trying to get an Internet troll to concede a rational point, or trying to ask the DMV to hurry it up a little. They feed on your anger. Much like a water bottle.

Humphrey is pretty friggin' cute, though.

She tweeted that she masturbated to Ryan Gosling movies while the rest of us were just doing it.

(Getty)

In an interview this month with Nylon, Kendrick talked about her love of tweeting, and specifically, addressed an 2013 tweet in which she made reference to her love of Ryan Gosling and the self-love he inspires:

Ugh - NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered "inappropriate"

— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 14, 2013

With over 36,000 retweets, it's easily her most popular tweet. So what does Anna think would happen if she and Ryan ever met? She told the magazine:

"Thank God I've never been in a room with him! I don't feel embarrassed, though. I'm sure he has a sense of humor. But I'd probably feel like I'd have to address [the tweet], and I'd end up saying something to make it much, much worse."

At least you'd look adorable while saying it. And there would be no Internet record of it, so he could never prove it.

It's snowing in Sligo! And Alan is very, very excited about it!

It's hard to tell what Alan enjoys more: the sight of snow in Sligo, Ireland, or annoying his uninterested, suffering roommate who just wants to sleep through it for "ten more minutes!" Even though snowfall is pretty rare in northwest Ireland, Alan's excitement is so over the top, you'd think the video was shot in Miami. Or suspect that Alan skipped sleeping the previous night in order to trip on mushrooms. As his poor housemate put it, "It's only snow!"

Which makes me lean towards this lad's enthusiasm having more to do with driving his friend insane. Which, I have to say, is still pretty entertaining.

Choose a greeting and location:

• Greetings from the snowy mountains of Telluride!
• Hello from Lincoln Park, Chicago!
• Hey there from the suburbs of Boston (yes, the Celtics are my neighbors)!
• Hi from Greenwich, CT (though perhaps I should say that I live on Metro North because I'm forever going into the city to experience culture)!
• Greetings from my sunny backyard pool in Montecito, CA!

Choose a professional success:

• I'm the CEO and founder of "Hairband's Here," my start up that distributes elastics on-demand to gyms, institutions, and individuals. One day I found myself without a hair band just before a Spin class, and I thought, "what if I could pay someone to bring me a hair band?" My start-up was born, and the rest is history (history that has made me hella rich, haterz).
• My old high school band, Knock Knock and the Wakka Wakkas, reunited for a one-off show during South by Southwest and we were so inspired that we decided to put out an album and take our show on the road! So far the tour has been rewarding and thrilling—every audience has loved us, no promoter has ever short-changed us on our cut of the door, and our equipment has never been stolen. Knock on wood!
• I'm a Managing Partner at a Donoughey, Robinson, Compa, Deloitte, Elmhurst & McGillicutty, LLC where I bill 100 hours/week, crack wise with the gang in the photocopy center, and oversee the annual Summer Associate Clam Bake.
• My business partners and I just closed the books on a banner year at our wildly successful farm-to-table restaurant "Cow Pies," which seats 6 (you should see the line!) and features artisanal cheeses shipped via overnight Fedex directly from a tiny farm in rural Italy.
• I just sold the Great American Novel to a Big Name Publisher. The Atlantic was kind enough to peruse my little book and name it "The Most Important Treatise on Mid-Life Crisis Ennui of Our Time," to which I can only muster a reply of "aww, shucks!"

Choose a personal success:

• After a whirlwind romance with Liam Hemsworth, we were married at sunset on Brisbane Beach and feted by family and friends into the wee hours. I suppose I'm a Hunger Games fan now!
• I recently gave birth to my third child (and got my body back after 2 weeks of hard work and commitment, #What'sYourExcuse), so the tally of parents to kids in our house is now 2-to-7, as we adopted two sets of twin orphans whose parents were killed in unrelated unicycle accidents.
• My partner and I just put the finishing touches on our labor of love: a beach cottage in Martha's Vineyard that's made entirely of found objects and driftwood. It took 10 years of hard work and tenacity, but finally our second home feels like a first home. Come visit!
• I recently rebuilt a 1948 Harley Davidson Panhead by hand and without any directions. Sometimes it's just fun to challenge yourself!

Choose a vacation/recreation anecdote:

• When the New York City winter got the best of me, I jetted down to Jamaica for a few weeks in the spring where, wouldn't you know it, I ran into another alum of our alma mater, Jeff Schwartz '98. We sang our school song while we reminisced about the unending stir fry line at the old Commons dining hall.
• This year's tropical getaway was St. Barths, where I had the pleasure of sharing a squash court with Leonardo DiCaprio. (His backhand is weak, FYI.)
• I got in some quality slope time during a 14-day trip to Vial. The powder was fantastic, the mountains were majestic, and the whole sojourn can best be described as "indescribable."
• The golf courses of the United Kingdom called to me this year and I heeded their siren song, spending 4 weeks playing stunning greens in between pints at the local pub.
• Burning Man was stellar this year, but not quite as strong as last year.

Choose an inspirational/aspirational sign-off:

• I can only hope that your year was as filled with success and prosperity as mine was!
• See you at the reunion—I'll be the gal in the "I scaled Kilimanjaro and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt!
• I'm stocking up on "Class of 2030" bibs for my kids—see you at the next reunion!
• I'd love to hear from and reconnect with fellow alums—the door is always open in my Tribeca loft!
• I hope that all of our fellow alums are living life to the fullest as much as I am!

Here's a new, better way to waste time on Twitter.

You should probably be asleep. I've created a "Choose You Own Adventure" on Twitter. Start here ➡ @wnd_go Pleasant dreams.

— Terence Eden (@edent) January 12, 2015

UK techie and self-described "long haired geek" Terence Eden has created a Choose Your Own Adventure that takes place entirely on Twitter.

Every time you make a decision about what to do next, you're taken to a different Twitter account, where you're either given more options or mercilessly slaughtered. I won't give away too many details about what the experience is like, but expect a bleak medieval landscape.

Don't be discouraged if someone "feasts on your remains" early on. Try, try again.

There's a pile of rubble you can squeeze under. A metal object glints faintly. Examine: @wnd_hope Stay Hidden: @wnd_fear

— arbeit macht (@wnd_hide) January 11, 2015

Eden explains on his blog how exactly he set about making the game (one of the hardest parts was acquiring 23 Twitter accounts). He was finishing up reading Timothy J. Jarvis's horror novel The Wanderer, when he originally thought of the idea of a Choose Your Own Adventure game on Twitter. So with the author's permission, he decided to make the game as a "viral 'teaser trailer'" for the book.

Are you ready to relive your childhood now? Click here to get started.

Last night, former prosecutor and HLN beast Nancy Grace donned her Sandy-at-the-end-of-Grease leather jacket and invited 4.0 GPA college graduate and big-booty-ho birthday gift recipient rapper 2 Chainz to discuss weed legalization.

It is highly likely that pot is 2 blame for the movie Face Off.

This was just so good.

Grace began the interview introducing 2 Chainz in a halting speech like she was doing the world's most southern Christopher Walken Impression, and recounted a story where people who were smoking pot endangered a child's life, asking him, "When you hear about cases like this, why do you still support the legalization of marijuana?

2 Chainz came back with the quickness. "They had alcohol included... they also dealt with irresponsible people. I don't think you can put an umbrella on the whole community over these few instances that you just named."

Immediately snared in his chainz, Grace was reduced to a full-on Judge Judy-ism. (Click the bottom right icon for sound.)

"Don't throw me in that pot and stew me."

She'd be better off if he threw her in that pot and smoked her. He even showed up wearing sunglasses on cam because, as he revealed during the interview, weed helps to reduce anxiety when you are about to do "shows in front of fifty, sixty thousand people."

The rest of the interview just gets better from there. He rationally explains that legalizing pot would reduce overcrowding in prison, help the economy, and protect those with minor pot offenses from losing out on jobs and loans.

Here's 2 Chainz letting her know...

"Umm, I'm not sure if you know but everybody has the ability to get their hands on pot right now, whether it's legal or not."

And then there is this moment. Nancy Grace reciting 2 Chainz Lyrics to 2 Chainz. For good reason, It has instantly gone viral.

"Truuuuuu."

When I die, bury me inside that Vine. All I want for my birthday is the whole interview.

the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the Top Gun volleyball scene

1. Masochistic Multi-Millionaire Considering Another Presidential Run

Mitt Romney "almost certainly will" be running for president again in 2016, according to a trusted advisor. The two-time failed candidate apparently enjoys watching himself lose as much as everyone else does.

Mitt Romney: "I will run for president again in 2016. And 2020. And 2024. Probably 2028, 2032, and 2036 as well."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 13, 2015

2. Yemini Al Qaeda Wants You To Know They're The Backwards-Thinking Barbarians Behind The Charlie Hebdo Terror Attack

Lest some other group of superstitious hate-mongering Luddites gets credit for their barbaric handiwork, the Yemini branch of terrorist organization Al Qaeda took responsibility for last week's mass murders in the editorial offices of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo and a Parisian kosher supermarket, or—as they call it in a video that was uploaded to YouTube yesterday— the "blessed Battle of Paris."

Can we all agree that Al Qaeda hates us b/c Kate Upton is leading our army?

— Keith Alberstadt (@KeithAlberstadt) January 13, 2015

3. Donald Trump Yelling About Something Or Other Having To Do With An Airport Now

Deranged megalomaniac and possible 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump is suing Palm Beach County for $100 million because he believes that Palm Beach International Airport is deliberately directing air traffic over his Mar-a-Lago estate, in a supposed—and seemingly successful—attempt to piss him off. "I am saving one of the great houses of this country and one of its greatest landmarks, and it's being badly damaged by the airplanes," he said in an interview Monday, probably while vibrating with intense anger.

I bet if you called Donald Trump "Dr. Trump" he would let you and also start introducing himself like that after too.

— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 10, 2015

4. New Issue Of V Magazine Comes With A Fold-Out Naked Miley Cyrus

The last few remaining unseen square-inches of the surface area of Miley Cyrus's body are finally being revealed to the public in the newest issue of V magazine, which features—among a plethora of other naked photos—a fold-out poster of the 22-year-old former Disney Channel star standing fully unclothed in a bubble bath. "order yurrrr copy nowwwww cumzzzz w ol school pull out postahhhh photography by @cheythom fuck yaaaas weez a bunch of happy hippies ova hurrrr!" Cyrus explained via Instagram.

Miley Cyrus has managed to shock the world again http://t.co/Gp9KeyhehKpic.twitter.com/vDm2ybi6Lc

— Page Six (@PageSix) January 14, 2015

Wonder what Miley Cyrus will do when she realizes she can't get more nude.

— Shawn Garrett (@ShawnGarrett) August 29, 2014

5. James Cameron Promises No Avatar Sequels Until At Least 2017

Science fiction and film fans are getting a short stay of annoyance, as James Cameron announced today that he's pushing the release date of the first-of-three Avatar sequels back one year to 2017 so that he has more time to write wooden one-dimensional characters and invent ridiculous-sounding elements like "hardtogetium" and "toughtolocatiate."

A girl I'm texting just said she enjoys the movie Avatar so now I have to change my number.

— The Night Stalker (@kolchak) December 10, 2014

Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson conquered TV last year. Now they have to rule it.

Last year, Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer took Broad City from web series to Comedy Central show with the help of executive producer Amy Poehler. The show centers on Abbi and Ilana, two stoned, hapless, hilarious 20-something best friends living in Brooklyn and having adventures that combine the best aspects of Seinfeld and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. After the duo finished up a live tour that travelled the country, Broad City returns tonight to Comedy Central at 10:30 p.m. for the premiere of Season 2. Critics such as Alan Sepinwell of Hitfix who have seen advance episodes say "one of last year's best shows, new or otherwise, and it may be even better this season." That should come as no surprise, considering it was announced today that the show is already renewed for Season 3.

All this has been vicariously thrilling for me, because I've known Abbi and Ilana for years through the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York (and cough cough, I was in a web series episode). Back in December, I reached out to the two rising stars over email to talk to them about their success and the new season, and they talked to me about everything from their writing process, their characters' hopes, dreams and jobs, and what it's like to have the media decide you represent all women in comedy.

1. Is explaining what you do to your families at Thanksgiving easier now than it was a few years ago?

Abbi: Haha, YES! Now I don't have to explain much! It's more about answering a lot of questions now. Everyone is very curious about the whole process.

Ilana: Hahaha ugh, this is a question only you could ask. But yeah, it's more crystallized now. But if you're a comedian or an improviser or a standup, you are that before you're paid. We let money validate us in this life, and it's truly not the Thing that makes you who you are. Easy for me to say now, but I mean it.

2. I rewatched Season One this weekend all in one sitting (the way TV is meant to be consumed) and I realized that I really want your TV selves to find their version of happiness. Do you see your alter-egos making any personal growth, or will I always be a little crushed that Ilana doesn't see how crazy Lincoln is about her?

Abbi: First of all, thank you for watching and re-watching! So cool that people watch them all in one sitting. It's exciting that it's being viewed that way. I think for right now, not that much time is actually passing in these characters' lives. We have so many little stories to tell and little adventures we want them to go on that huge growth isn't in the very near future. But there are definitely tiny growths. It's a lot like your actual early-to-mid 20s!

Ilana: This is the sweetest question! We're still figuring that out... and I think we always will be figuring that out as long as the show is alive. It's such a weird thing!!! Broad City is what gave Abbi and I purpose and direction, and these characters are not performers. I don't know what will happen, but we've dreamt and talked about it a lot. I'm curious, too!

Hannibal Buress and Arturo Castro return as Lincoln and Jaime.

3. What do you think happily ever after is for fictional Abbi and Ilana (not that I hope it comes any time soon)?

Abbi: I think they'll always be as close as they are, and that their friendship will remain a constant. I hope they both find their passions, career-wise as Ilana and I in real life have, and get to run with them. Whatever it is, I think happiness for them would be to always manage to find an adventure.

Ilana: I feel like they're pretty happy now. I don't know if there is such a thing as happiness that like, changes things in a broad, sweeping way. As I get older, I'm happy that shit in life gets clearer, and I feel like I understand things more, but it's not like suddenly—even with the success we've experienced—things are easy or happy and all fun. It always balances itself out. So I think the characters are finding happiness now, as we share their experiences, and they learn from them—learning in the tiniest, bite-sized increments, of course.

4. What the hell do they sell at "Deals! Deals! Deals!"? What is wrong with Todd's life that he can't fire Ilana?

Abbi: Deals Deals Deals is a Groupon-like company that sells discount services at all types of places around the city: salons, gyms, restaurants... Todd is a young boss with a lot of responsibility and he's torn between having power and needing to be the boss, and wanting to be cool and friends with his employees. Who wouldn't want to be friends with Ilana!?

Ilana: Also, Deals Deals Deals is based on this company, Lifebooker, Abbi and I did sales for together during the web series—in fact, it was extremely useful for the web series. Our paychecks funded the web series, we could get shit done during the day because we were together, and then we could go and write somewhere after work because we were already together. At Lifebooker, we sold waxes, threading, colonics, massages, etc.

Abbi and an unnamed new character in episode 203, 'Wisdom Teeth.'

5. It's easy, in retrospect, to know the web series would succeed. But when you guys were first making Broad City, there were a lot of series getting started. Most of those never finished their first season, and a lot of comedians were just throwing stuff at the Internet. Were you guys going to finish the season no matter what, or was there a point at which you realized something was really clicking and you should keep going?

Abbi: I think it was in the middle of our 1st and 2nd seasons of the web series that we realized this was something we wanted to really go after. The 1st season was very one foot in front of the other—we were figuring shit out as we went. We took 2 months in the middle of the seasons to write the whole 2nd season—really up our game and grow the web series. I don't think we ever imagined this exactly to happen, but we both knew we were going to keep making it until we could make our ideal version.

Ilana: We were planning on pitching the show after the second season and it wasn't guaranteed we'd make a third season, but we were still open to that. Projects almost don't really exist unless they're complete. The completion is a huge part of the accomplishment.

6. You guys had most of the writing credits in Season One, but so did Paul Downs, Lucia Aniello, Tami Sagher, and Chris Kelly. Is it hard to let your fictional alter-egos be written by other (very funny) people? Do you find yourselves having to relinquish any control as time goes on?

Abbi: It is difficult, but we were able to hire our best friends and knew the show was in extremely good hands. We're all also in the writers room together for 3 months coming up with all the stories and we really work that out a lot before the actual scripts are written, so everyone is involved with every step of the process.

Ilana: Also, we base SO MUCH of the show on real stuff that's happened to us, our writers, or our friends and our writers' friends. That part of the tone helps all the writing be cohesive, at least. And then, additionally, like Abbi said, we work on it so much over and over and over again, so it's never too far away from us.

Susie Essman plays Ilana's mom in Season Two.

7. Will I ever get to hear more of Nicole's audio diary of working next to Ilana?

Abbi: Yes, and very soon.

Ilana: YASSSS. LOVE THIS QUESTION.

8. Who are the next you guys? Please anoint someone here.

Abbi: Ahh! I don't know! I try to stay aware of new web series and stuff going on in the community, but I'm behind right now! So much amazing stuff and people coming out of UCB, still. Very exciting time!

Ilana: We don't even know them yet, and we don't even yet know what kind of vehicle those people will make for themselves. How exciting!!!! The world is ripe.

Other Season Two guest stars include Bob Balaban.

9. People put a lot of pressure on you two to speak for all young women in comedy, something your producer Amy Poehler has been asked to do for a long time. Is there anything you are tired of being asked, or a way in which you'd like to re-frame how people discuss this topic?

Abbi: It's sort of a catch-22. A circular conversation where I recognize how important it is for young women to see shows like ours and for more women to be on the screen, but at the same time, I'm exhausted and bored talking about women in comedy. It's a constant struggle.

Ilana: Definitely tired of being called women instead of people. EXHAUSTED of people calling me their "spirit animal." Something about it grosses me out. Like... you are your spirit animal. Not tired of people talking about Abbi's bangin' bod, cuz I get to gloat.

10. I think actual success would literally kill the Broad City versions of yourselves with stress. Do you guys really just need a week to get high and watch movies after all this?

Abbi: Hahahahaha... yes. But also to come up with more material!

Ilana: SO BAD. I'm going away over Xmas, and I am counting down the days. I really want to live in the present, though, you know? But whatever, I can't fuckin' wait!!!!

Rollerblading will also happen in Season Two.

11. Using the Internet allowed you to break out and reach TV instead of performing live, but at the same time, the people making Broad City were really tied into the world of New York comedy. How important do you think it is for young artists to find a real-world "scene" to be their incubator?

Abbi: I think it's really important in whatever kind of art you're making to try and find people with similar aspirations. Being trained for the stage at UCB and performing there and in the community for years helped us find our voice to take it to other places.

Ilana: Ugh this is such a good question, Johnny! Abbi makes a good point about physical restrictions—I love that the internet makes diverse content more available, and it equals the playing field, and I like the idea that, no, you don't HAVE to be in NY or LA to make great stuff. However... the physical reality of where you are DOES affect the people available to you. Now, listen: people everywhere are funny. But I don't know if everybody everywhere has a DSLR and like, light and sound equipment... of course, all this shit is so available to us now, but Ab and I collaborated with people who were also trying to make it in different areas of the industry, so that kind of stuff was available for us to borrow or rent rather than buy it and HAVE to use it enough that you get the value back. But also—it's worth the investment if you want to make yourself use that equipment enough to make your money back.

12. After the web series took off, you guys started doing Broad City Live and taking it back to the stage. Has anything made it backwards from the live show into the real show because it was so funny?

Abbi: Yeah, we often test out stuff at the live shows—especially when we're writing. Doing the live versions forces us to write in a different way that is much more our original relationship and friendship. If it works onstage, it's usually something we'll bring into the writers' room.

Ilana: Having another medium of Broad City has made me really feel my reservoir of material -- it's not limitless. The same thing is funny to me more than one time, and I think the same idea of a joke can be conveyed in different ways. It's been interesting seeing those different ways come up and have those iterations live inside Abbi and me at the same time.

Exotic new locations include the Bed, Bath & Beyond on 6th Avenue.

13. Is there a big difference in performing outside of NYC, where this originated (or in Chicago or LA, which have similar scenes)?

Abbi: Yes! NYC is really specific and feels like home. I imagine this is what it feels like to be on a sports team and playing a home game. It feels different, but there's also other kinds of pressures!

Ilana: Definitely. The places are all different and fantastic in their own ways, but it's also the Away vs. Home thing that Abbi mentioned.

Be sure to watch Season 2 tonight at 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central, and if you haven't yet, watch the first season online.All images courtesy of Comedy Central.

No one is safe from his vicious defense; not even himself.

Mitchell Skiba plays defense for the Alpena Flyers in the Tier III Midwest League, and clearly his stick checks are something to watch out for. Skiba is such a vicious physical force on the ice, apparently, that even if he lets his guard down for just a second, he'll be taken out. Either that, or this is a good lesson about paying attention when you're swinging a 6-foot-long hardwood stick around. One or the other.

Noel Gallagher is despondent over the fact that Ed Sheeran has sold out multiple nights at Wembley Stadium.

Do look back in anger.(via Getty)

Noel Gallagher—formerly of Oasis, the touring British reality show about brothers who made hit music and fought like toddlers—found out that Ed Sheeran has sold out multiple nights at Wembley Stadium, and he isn't taking it well. In a recent interview with NME he said, ""I don't think I can live in a world where that's even possible. When you hear that kind of polished pop and then there's a ginger guy with a fucking guitar it seems subversive, but it's fucking not."

Ed Sheeran doesn't want to live in a world where pop stars exchange insults about each other's hair color.

@IndyMusic i can live in it, its really enjoyable

— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) January 13, 2015

The response is so gingerly polished and non-subversive that Noel Gallagher probably put his fist through a wall.

Kind of genius, actually.

Italian artist Cristina Guggeri has just created the world leaders edition of Everybody Poops.

They really give a crap. (via Imgur)

In a project called "The Daily Duty," artist Gugerri reminds us that everyone from you and me to presidents, prime ministers, and religious leaders, no matter what was on their plate that day,is going to have to poop it out.

So, here are a bunch of world leaders sitting on their thrones.

Time to hunch forward, pull out Angry Birds, and settle in to look at our number 1s take number 2s.

See more from "Krydy" Cristina Guggeri at her Facebook page.

Consider this proof that dads used to be people, too.

Sure, this guy dancing to Johnny Gill's "Rub You the Right Way" looks like an assistant principal now, but I'll bet back in the day, he had a dope moussed-up hi-top fade with some fly-as-shit designs shaved into the sides.

Actually, I think I might have been waiting behind this guy in line at Sam Goody in the Echelon Mall to buy the cassingle for De La Soul's "Me, Myself & I." (Do any of the words in that sentence still have meaning?)

There's no way she'll regret this going viral when she's older.

A face tattoo only a mother could love. (via Kickstarter)

Brisbane-based artist Illma Gore has pushed boundaries before, like when she rode her bike through town topless. Now, she wants to get her entire body covered in tattoos, and she set up a (mostly funded) Kickstarter to pay for her mission. She puts her goal this way:

"Help me cover my body in tattoos before I'm sick and old and knitting mittens for lobsters."

Sidenote: someone should really tell her that even sick, old, lobster mitten-knitting ladies can get tattoos. But hey, when you're 22, that probably seems impossible.

Yes, that's right. Depending on how much you donate, Gore will tattoo your name or a design of your choosing (no hate speech or snakes) on her body. A mere $10 will get you your name on her leg. If you shell out $1,000, you can design her entire right thigh. "Why not your portrait?" she suggests.

Among the frequently asked questions on Kickstarter is what you may be wondering yourself: "Are you mentally unstable?" To which Gore quips: "No, maybe daddy issues." Well, now that that's cleared up, I feel no guilt about getting my name on your calf!

To the bigger question (wtf?), she has this to say about the purpose behind the project:

"I will be covered in a hundred tiny stories."

She already has a bunch of tattoos, but there's still space on her legs for you:

(via Kickstarter)

(via Kickstarter)

Pretty ballsy, especially considering how many people would gladly pay $100 (the minimum for a pic of your choosing) to submit a design of balls.

Whether you think she's crazy or just good at getting attention, you have to give Gore some credit for having the guts to do something so...undoable. She told BuzzFeed News: "I gave up my reservations after my first face tattoo — and future job prospects."

You can still work here, dear. But only if you let us tattoo a Someecard on your forehead. We all have them.