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Jimmy Fallon almost lost his finger in a freak accident involving his wedding ring.

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Not for the faint of heart.

Jimmy Fallon returned to The Tonight Show last night for the first episode since he mysteriously injured his hand and had to cancel a taping. And he explained what happened—in excruciating detail.

Apparently, he accidentally tripped on a braided rug in his home and broke his fall on a counter with his hand. Which seems like a fairly typical accident, except that his wedding ring got caught on the counter and basically ripped off his finger from the inside. It's called a "ring avulsion." Fallon warns people not to Google it, a sentiment echoed by Vulture and the person sitting next to me at work. I'm going to follow that very wise-sounding advice. But according to Fallon, his finger was sideways and turned completely white. He had to have surgery and stay in the ICU for 10 days, and doesn't expect to get feeling back for 8 more weeks. Well, now I'm scared of braided rugs, counters, and marriage. Feel better, Jimmy!

On a brighter note, Fallon describes a sort of epiphany he had in the hospital. The combination of reading a book about the meaning of life and watching a ton of TV while cooped up in the ICU made him realize that TV is the meaning of his life. He explained, "This is my job. I'm here to make you laugh. I want to make you have a good time."


This old 'Cosby Show' episode has taken on a whole new (creepier) meaning.

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I really hope this doesn't lead to us finding something creepy in 'Fat Albert' as well.


And you thought wearing a Cosby sweater was cool... (via YouTube)

Whenever a cherished celebrity turns out to be a pervert, the public is always inclined to go through their old work and look for signs that hinted towards their behavior all along. In some instances—such as Roman Polanksi or Woody Allen—you can find some fishy stuff, but it takes a bit of extrapolation to fully make the connection between their art and their personal life (Just kidding, Manhattan is literally about Woody Allen fucking a kid.). A newly unearthed clip from the Cosby Show, however, quite explicitly suggests Cosby's creepy behavior.

The episode, titled "Last Barbeque," aired in 1990. The plot is simple: The women and the men of the Huxtable house get in an argument over the of ethics of hiring a stripper for their brother-in-law's bachelor party. All of a sudden, the fight mysteriously blows over and the couples of the house are affectionate towards each other once again. At the end of the episode, Clair Huxtable expresses her happiness that everyone has "worked things out for themselves." Cosby's character Clif responds with the following:

They haven't worked anything our for themselves. It's my barbecue sauce. [...] Haven't you ever noticed after people have some of my barbecue sauce, after a while, when it kicks in, they get all huggy-buggy?[...] Haven't you ever noticed that after one of my barbecues—and they have the sauce—people want to get right home?

He then offers her some "barbecue sauce":

I got a cup of it up on the night table. I got a cup of it, I said. Left it up there breathing. Why don't you give the chicken to these people and let's go on up and have some sauce?

If it's not creepy enough on its own, keep in mind that it was revealed last week that Cosby had seven prescriptions for Quaaludes. Also keep in mind that almost all of the 30+ women who have come forth against Cosby have stated in their depositions that Cosby would first give them pills, either directly or slipped into their drinks, before assaulting them. Yeah. Ewwwwwww. Why do you have to be so creepy, Bill Cosby? And why do you have to ruin barbecue sauce for everyone? I'm not going to be able to look at a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's without gagging from now on.

Trump accidentally uses Nazi re-enactors in campaign image.

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I never thought I'd give Donald Trump the benefit of the doubt, so he really better not blow it on this one.


#AmericaWasGreatestWhenNazisMarchedOnTheSouthLawn! #Wait. #WTF? #Nevermind. (via Mother Jones)

Usually, when Donald Trump steps in political doggy doo-doo by saying or doing something offensive, his response is to double down, build a doggy doo-doo fort, and hang a "No Illegals Allowed In The Doo-Doo Fort" sign on it. But today, his campaign actually deleted a tweet and issued an explanation for the screw-up. That's right, there is a limit to Trump's awfulness: Nazis. Obviously, this is just a screw-up, but hey...it's a pretty big screw-up.


Had trouble embedding this one for some reason. Our software doesn't like Nazis.
(via @charles_gaba)

We can now at least say that the Trump campaign recognizes the limited appeal of people dressed in Nazi SS uniforms (one would assume even lesser, non-SS Nazis would prompt a retraction, but since the only other thing we've ever seen Trump try to walk back was a direct insult at Jeb Bush's wife, we can't be certain).

And here's the actual stock photo (with Nazi re-enactors) from iStockPhoto, with an amazing .gif from Mother Jones clinching the deal.


Achtung: Leaders in image may be even stupider than they appear.
(via Mother Jones)

So, how did Trump talk his way out of this one? Like any good business executive who built the empire he inherited from his dad from the 50th floor up, he threw an intern under the bus.

Just a minor hiccup. Gesundheit. If you'd like something to take your mind off how stupid and awful Trump's America might be, may I recommend looking at cat owners who took their pets' excess fur and used it to start a meme called #TrumpYour Cat?

Are we reaching the end of the traditional office? Not for your sh*tty job.

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Creative, high-end employers are changing up the idea of what a "workplace" means. But, let me guess — you don't work for one of those, and your office still sucks.


You know this office is cool because this guy's hair is messy. (via Thinkstock)

The Guardian ran an article yesterday titled "The Workplace Is Dead, Long Live the Work Space." It's one of those "wow, look at our whizz-bang future!" pieces where dudes, who I am almost certain are wearing thick-rimmed glasses in unattractive colors (eggshell, coral), talk about how they're changing the definition of the workplace at their cutting-edge businesses, and shouldn't we all be excited? Soon, we're all going to have flex time and big murals and breathable coffee and Swaddlez, which are adult-sized swaddling blankets we get wrapped up in with our laptops so we can work from the comfort and safety of a wi-fi-equipped burrito blanket LIKE GOD INTENDED.

Well, that is, if we work at like, 1% of the companies that exist. But most of us don't work at Apple, or Google, or a cool design studio. Many of us are lucky if our cube or — worse — our open-floor-plan desk — is close to a window, and that window doesn't look out to a dumpster. Here's one of the things The Guardian says about the change:

The traditional workplace is undergoing rapid change as the line between physical and digital blurs. Advances in mobile and cloud technology mean professionals can feasibly work from anywhere, at anytime.

You know what the workplace moving towards digital really means for most of us? It's not getting to work wherever we want or having flexible hours. It means that if you're under the age of 30, your boss is going to ask you to make a blog for the company. And it doesn't matter if your company makes component parts for toilets — not toilets, just parts for toilets that other companies put together. You're still going to have to churn out 25 posts a week about toilet-part technology.


Cool new office idea: only provide seating for 2/3 of your employees. (via Thinkstock)

But maybe you don't work for a fuddy-duddy old company. Maybe you actually work for one of those cool new startups that hires lots of young people:

With the millennial workforce (those born between 1982 and the early 2000s) who want to get more out of work than just a paycheque – and the fight to hire and retain talent fierce – many businesses in the tech and creative industries are looking to reconfigure the notion of the workplace.

Sorry, that office is probably still shitty too, probably putting free beer into the office fridge to help distract 22-year-olds from the fact that they're being underpaid and overworked.

Or, hey, maybe you do work for one of these companies that's actually changing the workplace, like the super-cool company The Guardian mentioned that built its headquarters into an old prison (hopefully it's haunted by the ghosts of criminals, and they have great business ideas). If so, good for you. Write me a message to let me know how you enjoy your Swaddlez. The rest of us will be looking out at our dumpsters.

These Japanese statues made from dead bugs are gross but also kind of cool.

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The sculpture scene of 70s Japan was a crazy place.


He's like Geppetto...sort of. (via Kotaku/Naver)

Yoneji Inamura is a 95-year-old living in the Gunma Prefecture of Japan. For reasons unbeknownst to you and I, he made some crazy sculptures made out of preserved bugs in the 70s. The first one he did depicts Nitta Yoshisada, the head of one Japan's most prominent 14th-century families. He made it in 1970 out of 5,000 preserved insects. It was put on display in his home, for a Children's Day celebration.


"Mom, can we not go to Uncle Yoneji's house for Children's Day?" (via Kotaku/Naver)


How to celebrate your childhood in the most terrifying way possible. (via Kotaku/Naver)

After being criticized for killing so many bugs, he then held a memorial for the bugs, made out of the bugs. The memorial took the form of a shrine to the Thousand-Armed Kannon, the Buddhist deity of mercy. Where was he getting all these bugs?


He probably had a business arrangement with a local exterminator. (via Kotaku/Naver)


Thousand-Armed Kannon: "Thanks?" (via Kotaku/Naver)

The shrine took 5 years and over 20,000 insects to complete. After 1975, Inamura swore he'd never make another bug statue again. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

We challenge you to react to The Rock's mangled finger as calmly as he did.

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"NO NO NO NO" is what I yelled when I watched this video of The Rock's on-set injury, so if you're squeamish, or you're a human who likes fingers to look like fingers, be warned.


I ain't got time to bleed..
A video posted by therock (@therock) on

It's been a big day for horrifying celebrity finger injuries. First Jimmy Fallon got his finger ripped off by his wedding ring, and then The Rock posted the above video on Instagram of his smiling mug and totally wrecked finger, from an injury that supposedly occurred on set for his new film, Central Intelligence.

Update: Well, there's some good news. According to Variety, the hand was actually a prosthetic, and the video was a joke. I didn't want this to be real, because I don't want Dwayne Johnson to be injured, but I did love that the world's nicest strongman apparently also had a superhuman pain tolerance. Instead, I'll be filing this video next to the Fake Fat Kevin Bacon Instagram Incident from May.

All that said, even if the finger is a fake, it is gross. So please enjoy this palate cleanser of Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart's dual Instagram videos:











Bastille Day

If you care about anything in life, watch this mystery car musician RIGHT NOW.

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Pasadena's mystery car-rocking, recorder-playing man is my new favorite human.

There are many good things about living in Southern California: the sun, the ocean, and the fact that I live only a 20-minute drive from Pasadena and can spend all of this coming weekend on the lookout for the "Pasadena Piper," a local man who drives around and plays furious acid-jazz recorder accompaniment to songs in his car.

Who says you can't see a unicorn twice?

A video posted by Dean Spunt (@dotgovgov) on

The man/myth/legend was brought to general Internet attention yesterday when Reddit user SeagoatCM asked in the Pasadena subreddit, "Who else has seen this guy around town?" linking to a video. The answer: a lot of people. Here he is playing to ZZ Top:

And here he is again, in yet another car, which leads me to worry that furious acid-jazz recorder playing = high accident rate.

One Reddit user claimed that this guy is his dad, but nobody has confirmed it:

Dad has always been a, well, "artistic" kind of a guy. In the late 80's he was in a jazz band that toured with Kenny G. He was a big fan of acid jazz which is why you hear him playing that wild style. Sadly, my mother divorced him in 1996 because of his weird behavior and lack of money. I think it was the right decision. I still see him sometimes, but he lives in tiny apt on Fair Oaks which smells like cat. Nice enough guy though, wouldn't hurt a fly.

If this guy does not have a reality show in the next 48 hours, Hollywood is BROKEN.


Courtesy Hello

A guy is editing movies to show only lines said by people of color, and people are pissed.

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Suddenly 'Noah,' starring Russell Crowe, is only 11 seconds long.

Dylan Marron is an actor and director. He's Venezuelan-American and has also been told pretty much from the outset that there weren't going to be a lot of parts for his "type," especially romantic lead roles. His frustration with the entertainment industry's inability to write parts for people of color has found one channel that's one parts funny, three parts sad, but overall very interesting! He has been editing popular movies down to just lines spoken by people of color, and guess what? That makes them very short.

It can also be pretty damning to see what sort of lines people of color get to say in popular films. Marron talked to The Daily Dot about his project, saying:

"In the series I'm really just exposing this issue. I'm not really adding commentary to it. I think that's what's so interesting. You get YouTube commenters who just vehemently disagree with you, and the way that I'm editing these videos is... there's no embellishment and there's no comment. And to see the anger this incites is interesting.
"People take such offense to being called racists, and they get so defensive. The interesting thing is, I don't intend to call any one person racist. We have such a difficult time as a society, on a global conversation level, of talking about a system of racism. We're so intent upon blaming individual people and pinning racism to one person, when it's a systemic problem. This isn't a fault of these individual directors, but the whole structure they are part of."

Ideas like this make the insidious aspects of cultural privilege clear in an engaging and startling way. The videos are also pretty hypnotizing, as you wait to see the decontextualized lines pop out. It's also probably the closest I'll ever get to sitting through Frances Ha.

Hmm, Into the Woods. You're a fantasy movie, you can cast anyone! If you'd like to see more, check out the full series on YouTube.

Jenny McCarthy changed her hair color to something almost as crazy as her stance on vaccines.

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The actress/model debuted her new look on Instagram.



Thank you to my amazing hair & makeup team this morning! @juliusmichael1 & @mspriscillanyc
A photo posted by Jenny McCarthy (@jennyannmccarthy) on

Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but Jenny McCarthy is taking her head-fuzz for a walk on the wild side… the wild pink side.

The 42-year-old appeared on the Today Show Tuesday sporting a brand new hot pink do. She told Kathie Lee and Hoda, "This morning, I woke up and said, 'I'm feeling pink.'" She added:

"This is something I've wanted to do forever and I've always been told by networks and bosses, like, 'Don't do it.' Before I get 80 … like Barbara Walters isn't gonna dye her hair this color, so I figured I'm still at that age where I can get away with it for maybe a month."

Barbara Walters, you've been called out. You need to top that color and fast. Before her appearance on Today, McCarthy teased the change with this Instagram close-up:


Now that her hair is taken care of, McCarthy can get back to spreading dangerous misinformation about public health and contributing to outbreaks of previously eradicated diseases among children. And she'll look fabulous doing it.

This woman proved that no guy is "too big" for a condom. We hope she used some lube.

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Is your penis bigger than a grown woman's arm?

Condoms are so great. They protect us during sexual intercourse from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. Most of the time! I'm not a doctor, if you get pregnant or chlamydia, don't tell a real doctor that a blogger said condoms are foolproof, please.

Anyway, condoms are great and you should use them. I have personally never had a man say to me his d*ck is too big to fit in a condom. I'm sure there are men who do say this, but in general I've been lucky enough to have partners that want to wrap it up for our mutual protection. To the ladies or gentlemen who are unlucky enough to be naked and about to get down with a guy who has the special mix of irresponsibility and narcissism needed to announce that his member is too powerful to be contained, please show them the tweet above.

The tweeter is an 18-year-old named Emily, who teaches contraceptive methods in Utah schools. She's gotten a lot of flack from defensive men, saying "one size does not fit all!" which she agrees with. Her point is to level-up if you need to. There are plenty of options and safe sex is good sex.

So if a dude is like, yep, my penis is bigger than a woman's arm, move on to this Instagram post:

To all the guys saying "my dick is too big for condoms" TAKE A SEAT

A photo posted by Zara Larsson (@zaralarsson) on

NO. USE A CONDOM. AND LUBE, PROBABLY. LATEX CREATES FRICTION. Happy lovemaking, everybody!

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are finally playing sisters. Here's the new trailer.

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A-my. Ti-na. A-my. Ti-na. Everyone take a moment right now to start this chant in your office.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, who I recognize as Co-Presidents of the United States of America, are doing another movie together. It's going to be like when they hosted the Golden Globes, but without all those other people obnoxiously winning awards in between their jokes.

In the new movie, Poehler and Fey play sisters. (Oh my god, I have a sister!) They decide to throw one last party before their parents sell their childhood home, and it looks like a lot of fun stuff happens.

Like this:

And this:

And Maya Rudolph being goofy:


Would it be weird if I got overalls like Tina Fey?

The movie comes out December 18, so I guess I'll just try to find something to do until then.

Some hero hung hundreds of dildos from power lines in Portland, and no one knows why.

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Portland is one step closer to becoming a real-life 'Portlandia' sketch.


"As long as you follow the dildos, you'll find your way home." (via Kolkata)

Someone hung a bunch of dildos from power lines all over Portland. Yep. That's about it. Nobody has any idea who did it or why. The dildos have been found on Comcast and Century21 lines, but neither company has commented on the matter, so it doesn't look like it's the result of a prank war between cable companies (although that would be cool). Some speculated that it was orchestrated by a local sex toy shop, but the owner of the shop said she has nothing to do with it. Maybe it was started by just one person, but then "dildo-ing" caught on and became a collective phenomenon, like planking or Communism.

Perhaps it's a city-wide art installation? (via Gawker)


This is Portland's version of sneaker tossing. (via Oregon Live)

Portland General Electric hasn't taken them down yet, since they don't pose a real fire hazard. There's no official count on the number of dildos, but people speculate that it could be in the hundreds. The Portland Office of Neighborhood Involvement started receiving calls about them three weeks ago, but they actually received more calls from the media than from Portland residents, who have been pretty chill about the whole thing.

You do you, Portland.

Is this new 'Game of Thrones' set location a clue to Jon Snow's parentage or are we all morons?

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Hey, has anyone on the Internet ever thought about how we don't really know who Jon Snow's parents are? (Sorta-spoiler warning, I guess.)


A production detail, or a clue??? (via Twitter)

A new Game of Thrones filming location has reignited speculation about the true parentage of Jon Snow. Personally, I'm glad about this, because I get bored between Game of Thrones seasons when people stop discussing their theories. Just because GoT is not directly affecting you at the current moment doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and we shouldn't be talking about it. Be an engaged citizen, please.

So as you know unless you've been living under the Red Keep, the most popular fan theory regarding Jon Snow's origin is R+L=J, which supposes that Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark are his mom and dad. (Does anyone else always forget how to spell "Rhaegar" when you're frantically typing about who Jon Snow's parents are?)

Now, HBO has announced that portions of Season 6 will be filmed at Castillo de Zafra in Guadalajara, Spain. That's a 12th-century castle that's kind of isolated among hills and rocks.

Many people (or at least a few loud people on the Internet) are speculating that this castle may serve as the Tower of Joy, the location where Lyanna Stark died 17 years prior to the events that take place in the TV series. Apparently (I haven't read any of the books but I've spent a fair amount of time reading supplemental materials while avoiding my responsibilities), Ned Stark found his sister Lyanna on a bed of blood, and she asked him to make a promise. Did she die during secret childbirth and ask Ned to protect her son, baby Jon Snow? I mean, I haven't heard any other theories that hold up nearly as well and I've really asked around. But now the question is, will we see these events in Season 6? And will we finally get confirmation about who Jon Snow's parents are?

Some people think that the castle might just be used as Casterly Rock. I don't know about that, though. No offense to Castillo de Zafra, but I can't really imagine the Lannisters living in that dump.


Article 1

This woman called out someone who parked in a handicap spot on Facebook, and was sent to jail.

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Jodi Magi made the mistake of speaking out in a country where "writing bad words" is a crime.


Jodi Magi, punished for being self-righteous on social media. Our ultimate nightmare.
(via Facebook)

It always sucks to see someone who isn't handicapped park in the handicap spot. Here in America, we take it for granted that we can call them out on it. In other countries, that right to free speech isn't protected. It may (not) shock you to learn that one of those countries is the United Arab Emirates.

Australian Jodi Magi has lived in Abu Dhabi since 2012, teaching graphic design to Emirati women. The capital of the UAE, Abu Dhabi has a large population of expatriates who aren't always aware of the strict moralistic laws they're living under. So when Magi saw a car without disability stickers parked across two handicap spots in her apartment block, she didn't think twice about posting an indignant picture of it to Facebook.

Despite the fact that she obscured the car's license plate, one of her neighbors found out and complained. Next thing she knew, Magi was in court, charged with "writing bad words on social media about a person." (Incidentally, if this were a crime in the US, this entire website would be written from prison.) Magi was quickly found guilty, and told she would be deported.


Luckily, France doesn't have any laws against "disrespecting public museums."
(via Facebook)

Shocked but wise enough not to fight her sentence, she agreed to voluntarily self-deport and returned to court to pay her $3,600 fine. Instead, she was immediately imprisoned. They wouldn't even tell her how long she would be held for.

That was on Sunday. This morning, Magi confirmed in a Facebook post that she has been deported and is safely away from the UAE. Her claims about her treatment in the Emirati jail, however, are disturbing:

This is a pretty depressing story, but it's good to know that Magi is safe and free, and enjoying some downtime in Laos. It's a chilling reminder of how important free speech is, even for something as trivial as complaining about your neighbors' rude behavior.

As a palate-cleanser, here are some more satisfying stories about people getting into fights over handicapped parking:

This woman got an angry note after repeatedly parking in a handicap spot. She was thrilled.

Amputee politely asks car not to park in her spot, gets a response worse than a YouTube comment.

This guy probably regrets his decision to park illegally in a handicap space.

A disabled woman got a cruel note shaming her for using the handicap spot. Now she's firing back.



Watching someone fix their ingrown toenail with a tiny torture tool is hypnotizing.

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If you like gross body stuff and cool inventions, you'll love this.

Yesssssss, this is so disgusting and so satisfying! It's also almost TOO perfectly functional. I've never had an ingrown toenail, and doing a Google Image Search hasn't produced any photos that look as neat and simple as this example. Like, if you're going to have an ingrown toenail, this is the best possible one you could have, because it's not infected, or down to the bone, or... I've seen some messed up stuff, guys, all courtesy of Google Image Search.

Unfortunately, that weird little gold screw thing-y is 315 dollars! So they're not for the casual toenail twister. I guess if you're constantly doing at-home medical procedures, it could save you a bundle long term. Invest in your future feet today.



Oooh, different sizes!!(via Japan Trend Shop)

Article 35

Fun Internet slip-up alert: Dan Aykroyd accidentally tweeted he'll be in new 'Ghostbusters.'

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Twitter remembers.


Gotcha, Aykroyd! (via Imgur/EW)

Yesterday, original Ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd tweeted that he was on the set of the new Ghostbusters movie. The film, as you may have heard, stars female Ghostbusters finally achieving ghost-destroying parity. Aykroyd wrote:

On GB set shooting my scene with funny beautiful Kristen Wiig Lady GB's are adorable, hilarious, and badass Exhilirating! #ghostbusters

Less than two hours later, Aykroyd deleted his Tweet, but it was too late.

Was the cameo supposed to be a surprise that Aykroyd accidentally let slip? Possibly. Or maybe the tweet-and-delete was another piece of the ongoing social media onslaught that director Paul Feig has been using to get people excited for the movie. He's already given us enticing glimpses of the new GBs' uniforms, weapons, vehicle, and receptionist. Although, if that theory were true, Feig probably would have tweeted a picture of Aykroyd on set with the hashtag #whoyougonnacameo.

I am glad to see Aykroyd publically endorsing the female Ghostbusters, which will hopefully shut down all the Internet whiners who can't stand the thought of a woman busting their ghosts. If any of those people are reading this article, now maybe you could consider chilling.

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