Tripping and falling in public was embarrassing but at least no one shot you for it.

May 29, 2013, 3:01 pm

≫ Next: I'd never forget your birthday because you'd never let me forget your birthday.

≪ Previous: Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language

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I'd never forget your birthday because you'd never let me forget your birthday.

May 30, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid each other.

≪ Previous: Tripping and falling in public was embarrassing but at least no one shot you for it.

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Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid each other.

May 30, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Let your baby's birthday serve as a monument to the days when you and your spouse used to have sex.

≪ Previous: I'd never forget your birthday because you'd never let me forget your birthday.

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Let your baby's birthday serve as a monument to the days when you and your spouse used to have sex.

May 30, 2013, 8:45 am

≫ Next: Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being from your body.

≪ Previous: Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid each other.

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Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being from your body.

May 30, 2013, 9:01 am

≫ Next: You don't know what a bad day is until you discover all your private moments are on YouTube.

≪ Previous: Let your baby's birthday serve as a monument to the days when you and your spouse used to have sex.

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You don't know what a bad day is until you discover all your private moments are on YouTube.

May 30, 2013, 9:13 am

≫ Next: JC Penney discontinues sale of anti-semitic, genocidal teapot.

≪ Previous: Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being from your body.

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JC Penney discontinues sale of anti-semitic, genocidal teapot.

May 30, 2013, 9:29 am

≫ Next: I'm worried you're planning on drinking less this Friday due to the short workweek.

≪ Previous: You don't know what a bad day is until you discover all your private moments are on YouTube.

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Read the full article at TheGist.com >>

I'm worried you're planning on drinking less this Friday due to the short workweek.

May 30, 2013, 10:24 am

≫ Next: Here's to Summer Fridays only forcing me to pretend to do work for half of the day.

≪ Previous: JC Penney discontinues sale of anti-semitic, genocidal teapot.

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Here's to Summer Fridays only forcing me to pretend to do work for half of the day.

May 30, 2013, 11:31 am

≫ Next: Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

≪ Previous: I'm worried you're planning on drinking less this Friday due to the short workweek.

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Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

May 30, 2013, 11:55 am

≫ Next: Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language

≪ Previous: Here's to Summer Fridays only forcing me to pretend to do work for half of the day.

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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language

May 30, 2013, 1:15 pm

≫ Next: 9 ways to announce you aren't remotely going to do any work on a Summer Friday.

≪ Previous: Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

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What, were they written coherently or something?

Time once again to take a peek at 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.

Right this way >>

9 ways to announce you aren't remotely going to do any work on a Summer Friday.

May 31, 2013, 7:30 am

≫ Next: I'd love to spend an evening looking at photos of your child until the wine runs out.

≪ Previous: Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language

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Why not do both?

Summer is that glorious time of year when those lucky enough to have Summer Fridays get to stop pretending like they do more than four hours of work on a Friday. In recognition of this beautiful practice, we've spent much less than four hours collecting our favorite cards about Summer Fridays. Browsing them is a great way to spend the day off. Share them on Facebook and Twitter to make your non-Summer-Friday-having friends jealous, or read them aloud to your mostly empty office if you're stuck at work.

See them all >>

I'd love to spend an evening looking at photos of your child until the wine runs out.

May 31, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: You may have to kiss peoples' asses but at least you don't have to sniff their buttholes.

≪ Previous: 9 ways to announce you aren't remotely going to do any work on a Summer Friday.

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You may have to kiss peoples' asses but at least you don't have to sniff their buttholes.

May 31, 2013, 8:32 am

≫ Next: Thanks for liking my status update about my decision to deactivate from Facebook.

≪ Previous: I'd love to spend an evening looking at photos of your child until the wine runs out.

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Thanks for liking my status update about my decision to deactivate from Facebook.

May 31, 2013, 9:04 am

≫ Next: The next time you're complaining about the heat, be thankful you don't have to wear a fur coat all summer.

≪ Previous: You may have to kiss peoples' asses but at least you don't have to sniff their buttholes.

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The next time you're complaining about the heat, be thankful you don't have to wear a fur coat all summer.

May 31, 2013, 10:02 am

≫ Next: I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.

≪ Previous: Thanks for liking my status update about my decision to deactivate from Facebook.

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I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.

May 31, 2013, 10:43 am

≫ Next: You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

≪ Previous: The next time you're complaining about the heat, be thankful you don't have to wear a fur coat all summer.

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You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

June 1, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: Hear the Someecards founders discuss new ways to hate your job on NPR's Marketplace Money.

≪ Previous: I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you anything for your birthday.

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Hear the Someecards founders discuss new ways to hate your job on NPR's Marketplace Money.

June 1, 2013, 10:02 am

≫ Next: May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children.

≪ Previous: You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

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(If you seriously need instructions, press the Play button to listen.)

See the entire Workplace Section >>

Marketplace Money Web site >>

May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children.

June 2, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my sex life with you.

≪ Previous: Hear the Someecards founders discuss new ways to hate your job on NPR's Marketplace Money.

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