Ken Bone is an energy voter. Ken Bone had questions at the second debate for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton about the candidates' energy policy plans. Ken Bone had a sweater and a mustache and a name that made one thing certain: the internet loved him immediately.
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Lochte and Reid announced their engagement on Sunday via lovey-dovey Instagram post. According toUS Weekly, the two met on Tinder and have been together since March. In other news, Olympians and Playboy models use Tinder.
Sunday night on Last Week Tonight,John Oliver greeted us from Rock Bottom, where presidential politics have stooped so low that the world "pussy" just might have saved the Free World. Oliver dived right into Pussygate (ew, sorry), flipping "grab them by the pussy" by the head, explaining that Trump wasn't the only nasty guy on the bus. Billy Bush, acting as a "hug pimp," is just as rape-y—he's just not running for president. And the GOP is to blame for letting it get this far.
Thank goodness Oliver is on HBO, the only network that could handle Trump's words.
Oliver, being Oliver, took at once step further, diving deep into the history of the only Trump-Bush romance, full of cackles and even more crude language.
Here it is in GIF form to watch on a loop forever.
That's some Cruz-level rejection.
Plus, immediately after the debate, Donald was cautious to only shake his favorite daughter/child/woman/"piece of ass" (a term for her he okayed on Stern), in order to hide his real desires.
5. Donald Trump, because his campaign is imploding like one of his casinos.
Somewhere in the labyrinthine penthouse of Trump Tower, Donald J. Trump is weeping into a taco bowl. The embattled Republican candidate had a very rough weekend after insiders leaked behind-the-scenes footage from a 2005 episode of Access Hollywood, in which Trump bragged to Billy Bush about assaulting women, saying that "when you're a star," they let you "grab them by the pussy."
"Grab them by the pussy" isn't talk from any locker room I've ever been in. It's a Ted Bundy quote. #debate2016
After the news broke, high-ranking GOP leaders like John McCain and Arnold Schwarzenegger rescinded their support for Trump. He had one chance to turn things around: the second presidential debate on Sunday night. But he blew it, of course.
Trump seemed unhinged for the first part of the debate, prowling the stage menacingly behind Clinton and desperately trying to change the subject away from his pussy tape. In the second half, he leveled out, but pollsters largely agree that his performance is unlikely to help fish his campaign out of the toilet. And it's been in the toilet for weeks now. It's starting to get waterlogged.
4. Jimmy Fallon, because his lousy accent angered Philadelphia, the country's touchiest city.
In a segment on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update on Saturday, alums Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon returned to play Philadelphia housewives who were still undecided about the election. Fey, a Philly-area native, nailed her accent, while Fallon's quickly devolved into some kind of cockney-Cajun-mouthful-of-hoagie hybrid. Also, he couldn't stop giggling like he has for the past 20 years. But it was still pretty funny.
Afterward, Philadelphians got on Fallon's case like only they can.
3. Chris Brown, because Rihanna threw major shade at him and all her other exes.
More than three years after their contentious breakup, the relationship of pop stars Rihanna and Chris Brown continues to loom over both of them (mostly because he was a violent abuser, and people tend to remember that).
But since then, Rihanna's career and personal life have both eclipsed Brown's in a big way. And on Sunday, she rubbed salt in that wound by posting this vicious message to all of her exes on Instagram.
Ouch. And Brown isn't the only one nursing this burn. Rihanna has also been linked in the past to Leonardo DiCaprio and Travi$ Scott. She's currently dating Drake, who is presumably spared from this zinger. But his time will come.
2. Whoever installed this sliding door.
In the middle of an extremely depressing election cycle, a good DIY fail soothes the soul.
1. A fugitive who was caught because he couldn't resist a donut.
35-year-old Gregory Mendoza was arrested in Hobbs City, New Mexico last week after he was caught trying to shoplift a donut. Normally, that crime would not land a person any serious jail time—after all, everyone knows how tempting donuts are. But once he was brought in, police found out that Mendoza was a wanted fugitive accused of many serious, non-pastry-related crimes. The Hobbs News-Sun reports that these included:
…cruelty to animals, a third-degree felony; aggravated fleeing a law enforcement officer and criminal failure to appear, both fourth-degree felonies; concealing identity, drive while license revoked, driving while license suspended or revoked, three counts of criminal failure to appear, two counts of reckless driving, improper use of evidence of registration and resisting, evading or obstructing an officer, all misdemeanors; display of plates, driving on roadways laned for traffic, improper use of evidence of registration, two counts of obedience to traffic control device, seat belts, turning movements and required signals, all petty misdemeanors.
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling donut. Let this be a lesson to would-be criminals out there: keep your sticky fingers off public sweets. If you really can't resist the taste of a donut, just lick it like Grande and move on.
Actress/singer Bella Thorne spent her 19th birthday weekend having fun in the sun with her boyfriend, teenage werewolf Tyler Posey. And because young sexy celebrity fun doesn't happen if it's not posted online, she Snapchatted the whole thing.
Earlier on Saturday, Thorne had celebrated her birthday like a true 19-year-old, by getting her septum pierced. And she shared a video of the procedure on Instagram, because she hates us.
Nadya Okamoto is an 18-year-old freshman at Harvard University, but her young age isn't stopping her from helping to save the world. In fact, she just won $10,000 for her non-profit that helps homeless women get access to pads and tampons. That's right. She has her own non-profit.
According to Elite Daily, as a high school freshman, Okamoto lived two hours away from where she went to school. During her commute, she always saw the same homeless women on the bus and formed bonds with them. She learned that the women all shared one major concern: they weren't able to get pads or tampons for their periods. Okamoto was inspired to help.
As a high school sophomore, she asked her classmate Vincent Forand to help her launch a non-profit called Camions of Care. The organization distributes pads, tampons, and other feminine hygiene products to homeless women. Okamoto also mentors other young leaders to start their own chapters of the charity. Since Camions was founded two years ago, chapters in 30 schools across 17 states have been formed and 25,000 periods have been addressed. Pretty impressive.
Okamoto was recently named a 2016 L'Oréal Paris Woman of Worth Honoree, and received $10,000 for Camions of Care. For every $1 the organization earns, one woman gets access to menstrual products.
Okamoto has already earned enough to help 10,000 more women, and she has a chance to help 25,000 more. The public can now vote for one of the 10 Women of Worth nominees to become the National Honoree and take home another $25,000. If Okamoto wins the vote, Camions of Care could help a total of 35,000 women get the hygiene products they need.
During Sunday night's second presidential debate, concerned Americans decided to write-in a candidate: Snapchat. Apparently, front-runners Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are way more palatable when their faces are swapped or they're covered in Doritos. Here are the 13 funniest snaps we could find before we realized our country might be doomed.
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A leaked tape of Trump detailing how he can get away with grabbing women "by the pussy" is the latest vomit-inducing garbage spewed from the crusty mouth hole of the Republican Nominee. In the same tape, he spoke about his trying to sleep with a married woman—later revealed as Nancy O'dell—while his own wife was pregnant with their son.
At first Melania said her husband's remarks were "unacceptable and offensive," but later accepted his apology. However, her $1100 bright pink Gucci "pussy bow" blouse may indicate that she is still holding a grudge.
Melania Trump is wearing a fuchsia pussy bow blouse, which is either a fashion statement or an epic subtweet of her husband
Stupid people are all around us. They're in our offices, they're at our family gatherings, and if you're not paying close enough attention, they can end up in our beds. That's what happened to these 18 people on reddit who shared the exact moment they realized they were dating an idiot.
1. Ineedyoursway's gf apparently has no idea where chocolate milk comes from.
2. SlytherEEn was dating someone as dumb as a plant.
He actually believed that if you had money, it was because god thought you were a good person, and only bad people were poor. The truly ironic part of this was that he couldn't get enough work to make a living, and had to ask his wealthy father for handouts all the time.
18. And finally XPaladoshiss, figured out how dumb his girl was right off the bat.
Randy Newman, the guy behind "You Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story, has just released his first new song in years and it is about a shirtless Vladimir Putin. See? 2016 isn't all bad.
According to The Washington Post, Newman has only released four studio albums in the past 36 years. His last album came out in 2008 and featured the satirical song, "I'm Dreaming of a White President," which effectively roasted those who were hesitant to vote for Barack Obama because of his race.
"Putin" pokes fun at the shirtless, horseback-riding, tractor-driving Russian leader. Although Newman told The Washington Post that he didn't intend for the song to be overtly political, it is impossible to ignore how timely it is. Newman also opened up about his feelings on Donald Trump.
It’s a big surprise to me about the country that there are 40 million people prepared to vote for [Trump.] They wouldn’t want him as a friend. No matter who you are, you wouldn’t want him on your bowling team or to have dinner with him or anything. They would recognize it immediately in a guy. A big blowhard, braggart.
Maybe Newman and Pixar should cash in on Russia's political relevance and make the least adorable animated movie of all time. You will probably cry more at Pixar's Putin than Pixar's Up, but for totally different reasons.
It reads "None of my exs are married or in happy relationships so it's safe to say I wasn't da problem lol," and RiRi captioned it with only a trophy emoji. Girl is not subtle with her shade.
It's pretty safe to say that Rihanna has won all of her breakups, especially because she is now rumored to be back with Drake, who is totally head over heels for her. (At least we hope they're together. Please let this be the one internet theory that's true!!)