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The 24 funniest responses to the man who won the second Trump v. Clinton debate: Ken Bone.

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Ken Bone is an energy voter. Ken Bone had questions at the second debate for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton about the candidates' energy policy plans. Ken Bone had a sweater and a mustache and a name that made one thing certain: the internet loved him immediately.

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Columbus Day

Columbus Day

Opposition party.

Columbus Day

Article 35

Ryan Lochte is engaged to former Playboy model Kayla Rae Reid.

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Ryan Lochte is engaged to former Playboy model Kayla Rae Reid. This is the one good thing to happen to Lochte in all of 2016.

Speechless. Absolutely beautiful. So in love with YOU. ❤️

A photo posted by KAYLA RAE REID (@kaylaraereid) on

Lochte and Reid announced their engagement on Sunday via lovey-dovey Instagram post. According toUS Weekly, the two met on Tinder and have been together since March. In other news, Olympians and Playboy models use Tinder.

Memories forever!!! #thelochtes #LA

A photo posted by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on

The couple probably will not be having a destination wedding in Rio.

John Oliver thinks Trump isn’t the only one to blame for the Trump tape.

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Sunday night on Last Week Tonight,John Oliver greeted us from Rock Bottom, where presidential politics have stooped so low that the world "pussy" just might have saved the Free World. Oliver dived right into Pussygate (ew, sorry), flipping "grab them by the pussy" by the head, explaining that Trump wasn't the only nasty guy on the bus. Billy Bush, acting as a "hug pimp," is just as rape-y—he's just not running for president. And the GOP is to blame for letting it get this far.

Thank goodness Oliver is on HBO, the only network that could handle Trump's words.

Oliver, being Oliver, took at once step further, diving deep into the history of the only Trump-Bush romance, full of cackles and even more crude language.

Only 28 days to go.


Trump struck out with both his daughters after the debate.

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Tiffany Trump smoothly rejected her dad's kiss, much like he rejected her for her entire life, forgetting she existed at the RNC and not even following her on Twitter until a viral campaign set to right the injustice. With a deft slide and pat on the shoulder, Tiffany demonstrated how all women feel around The Donald.

Here it is in GIF form to watch on a loop forever.

That's some Cruz-level rejection.

Plus, immediately after the debate, Donald was cautious to only shake his favorite daughter/child/woman/"piece of ass" (a term for her he okayed on Stern), in order to hide his real desires.

It was a clear departure from his usual butt-pat.

Barf.

Only 28 days left, people.

Here's what 33 celebrities were tweeting during the horror movie that was the second debate.

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As Donald Trump stalked Hillary Clinton around the stage like a spooky ghost at the second presidential debate, celebrities were glued to their TVs and their phones. Here's what they had to say—it looks like the event helped them decide whom to vote for.

1. Actor Joshua Malina

2. Actor Kristen Bell

3. Huffington Post Founder Arianna Huffington

4. Comedian Jim Gaffigan

5. Actor Jessica Chastain

6. Actor/Writer/Director John Francis Daley

7. Actor Jesse Williams

8. Author J.K. Rowling

9. Actor Zoe Kazan

10. Actor George Takei

11. Actor Josh Gad

12. Actor Olivia Wilde

13. Comedian Leslie Jones

14. Goddess of Thursday Night Television Shonda Rhimes

15. Actor Andrew Rannells

16. Actor Ed Helms

17. Actor Carrie Fisher

18. Actor/Writer Mara Wilson

19. Talk Show Host Jerry Springer

20. Comedian Billy Eichner

21. Firework Katy Perry

22. Actor Julia Louis-Dreyfus

23. Comedian Retta

24. Comedian Kumail Nanjiani

25. Pop God Lady Gaga

26. Actor Amanda Seyfried

27. Actor Anna Kendrick

28. Actor Dax Shepard

29. Biggest Loser Jillian Michaels

30. Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado

31. Actor Emily VanCamp

32. Model/Actor Brooklyn Decker

33. Actor Sarah Paulson

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Donald Trump, because his campaign is imploding like one of his casinos.

They look like the comedy/drama masks.

Somewhere in the labyrinthine penthouse of Trump Tower, Donald J. Trump is weeping into a taco bowl. The embattled Republican candidate had a very rough weekend after insiders leaked behind-the-scenes footage from a 2005 episode of Access Hollywood, in which Trump bragged to Billy Bush about assaulting women, saying that "when you're a star," they let you "grab them by the pussy."

After the news broke, high-ranking GOP leaders like John McCain and Arnold Schwarzenegger rescinded their support for Trump. He had one chance to turn things around: the second presidential debate on Sunday night. But he blew it, of course.

Trump seemed unhinged for the first part of the debate, prowling the stage menacingly behind Clinton and desperately trying to change the subject away from his pussy tape. In the second half, he leveled out, but pollsters largely agree that his performance is unlikely to help fish his campaign out of the toilet. And it's been in the toilet for weeks now. It's starting to get waterlogged.


4. Jimmy Fallon, because his lousy accent angered Philadelphia, the country's touchiest city.

In a segment on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update on Saturday, alums Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon returned to play Philadelphia housewives who were still undecided about the election. Fey, a Philly-area native, nailed her accent, while Fallon's quickly devolved into some kind of cockney-Cajun-mouthful-of-hoagie hybrid. Also, he couldn't stop giggling like he has for the past 20 years. But it was still pretty funny.

Afterward, Philadelphians got on Fallon's case like only they can.

Even Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney got involved.

But the ever-unflappable Fallon took it all in stride.

Here's a suggestion, Jimmy. Stop interviewing Trump.


3. Chris Brown, because Rihanna threw major shade at him and all her other exes.

That's the face that says "boy bye."

More than three years after their contentious breakup, the relationship of pop stars Rihanna and Chris Brown continues to loom over both of them (mostly because he was a violent abuser, and people tend to remember that).

Poor angry Chris Brown. We almost feel sorry for him (JK never).

But since then, Rihanna's career and personal life have both eclipsed Brown's in a big way. And on Sunday, she rubbed salt in that wound by posting this vicious message to all of her exes on Instagram.

#🏆

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

Ouch. And Brown isn't the only one nursing this burn. Rihanna has also been linked in the past to Leonardo DiCaprio and Travi$ Scott. She's currently dating Drake, who is presumably spared from this zinger. But his time will come.


2. Whoever installed this sliding door.

In the middle of an extremely depressing election cycle, a good DIY fail soothes the soul.


1. A fugitive who was caught because he couldn't resist a donut.

He's still thinking about that donut.

35-year-old Gregory Mendoza was arrested in Hobbs City, New Mexico last week after he was caught trying to shoplift a donut. Normally, that crime would not land a person any serious jail time—after all, everyone knows how tempting donuts are. But once he was brought in, police found out that Mendoza was a wanted fugitive accused of many serious, non-pastry-related crimes. The Hobbs News-Sun reports that these included:

…cruelty to animals, a third-degree felony; aggravated fleeing a law enforcement officer and criminal failure to appear, both fourth-degree felonies; concealing identity, drive while license revoked, driving while license suspended or revoked, three counts of criminal failure to appear, two counts of reckless driving, improper use of evidence of registration and resisting, evading or obstructing an officer, all misdemeanors; display of plates, driving on roadways laned for traffic, improper use of evidence of registration, two counts of obedience to traffic control device, seat belts, turning movements and required signals, all petty misdemeanors.

And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling donut. Let this be a lesson to would-be criminals out there: keep your sticky fingers off public sweets. If you really can't resist the taste of a donut, just lick it like Grande and move on.

Bella Thorne shares sexy bikini pics to make up for video of her septum being pierced.

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Actress/singer Bella Thorne spent her 19th birthday weekend having fun in the sun with her boyfriend, teenage werewolf Tyler Posey. And because young sexy celebrity fun doesn't happen if it's not posted online, she Snapchatted the whole thing.

Earlier on Saturday, Thorne had celebrated her birthday like a true 19-year-old, by getting her septum pierced. And she shared a video of the procedure on Instagram, because she hates us.

Yeah I can take it... 💪🏼 #septum thanks to the ultimate homie for hookin it up

A video posted by BELLA (@bellathorne) on

No no no no no. Bring the bikini back!

18-year-old wins $10,000 to help homeless women get access to tampons.

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Nadya Okamoto is an 18-year-old freshman at Harvard University, but her young age isn't stopping her from helping to save the world. In fact, she just won $10,000 for her non-profit that helps homeless women get access to pads and tampons. That's right. She has her own non-profit.

According to Elite Daily, as a high school freshman, Okamoto lived two hours away from where she went to school. During her commute, she always saw the same homeless women on the bus and formed bonds with them. She learned that the women all shared one major concern: they weren't able to get pads or tampons for their periods. Okamoto was inspired to help.

As a high school sophomore, she asked her classmate Vincent Forand to help her launch a non-profit called Camions of Care. The organization distributes pads, tampons, and other feminine hygiene products to homeless women. Okamoto also mentors other young leaders to start their own chapters of the charity. Since Camions was founded two years ago, chapters in 30 schools across 17 states have been formed and 25,000 periods have been addressed. Pretty impressive.

Okamoto​ was recently named a 2016 L'Oréal Paris Woman of Worth Honoree, and received $10,000 for Camions of Care. For every $1 the organization earns, one woman gets access to menstrual products.

Okamoto has already earned enough to help 10,000 more women, and she has a chance to help 25,000 more. The public can now vote for one of the 10 Women of Worth nominees to become the National Honoree and take home another $25,000. If Okamoto wins the vote, Camions of Care could help a total of 35,000 women get the hygiene products they need.

Not bad for 18 years old.

13 times Snapchat made last night's debate way more watchable.

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During Sunday night's second presidential debate, concerned Americans decided to write-in a candidate: Snapchat. Apparently, front-runners Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are way more palatable when their faces are swapped or they're covered in Doritos. Here are the 13 funniest snaps we could find before we realized our country might be doomed.

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Enjoying the debate! #debate #2016election

A video posted by Jessica Heintz (@jessicalynnheintz) on

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The best thing I got out of the #debate tonight

A video posted by Chris (@chris_lostritualband) on

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Snapchat is so fun, but unlike our snaps we'll actually have to live with whoever wins for more than 20 seconds.

Melania Trump may have been sending subliminal messages with her blouse at the debate.

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Melania Trump may or may not have intentionally thrown a buttload of shade by wearing a "pussy-bow blouse" to the second presidential debate on Sunday.

just when u thought things couldn't get any more #surreal #melaniatrump wears a #Pussy blouse to the #debate! #pinchmeimustbedreaming

A photo posted by jessicakagancushman (@jessicakagancushman) on

A leaked tape of Trump detailing how he can get away with grabbing women "by the pussy" is the latest vomit-inducing garbage spewed from the crusty mouth hole of the Republican Nominee. In the same tape, he spoke about his trying to sleep with a married woman—later revealed as Nancy O'dell—while his own wife was pregnant with their son.

At first Melania said her husband's remarks were "unacceptable and offensive," but later accepted his apology. However, her $1100 bright pink Gucci "pussy bow" blouse may indicate that she is still holding a grudge.

Or perhaps the fashion choice was intended to show that she is standing by her husband amidst "pussy-gate."

Or maybe Melania could have just been making a fashion statement and was not trying to make a statement with her fashion. Either way, cute top!


Article 25

Article 24

People shared the exact moment they realized they were dating an idiot.

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Stupid people are all around us. They're in our offices, they're at our family gatherings, and if you're not paying close enough attention, they can end up in our beds. That's what happened to these 18 people on reddit who shared the exact moment they realized they were dating an idiot.

1. Ineedyoursway's gf apparently has no idea where chocolate milk comes from.

She was out for a run one day and when she came back she said an animal charged at her, so she cut her run short. I asked her what it looked like, and she said, "like a cow, but brown." It was a cow.

2. SlytherEEn was dating someone as dumb as a plant.

When he told me, quite seriously, about how people with enough willpower can survive by photosynthesis.

3. Glitter-recession's bf had some trouble with the l-word.

He called lingerie "linguine." As in the pasta.

4. technocassandra dated a guy who kept his gun way too clean.

He shot himself in the leg twice while cleaning it. The same gun. 2 weeks apart. 9 mm. Shot himself in the calf the first time, then took out his kneecap the second time, same leg. Took months of surgeries to fix it.

5. zeldawarriorprincess's boyfriend didn't have a heart.

He was getting his license renewed and they asked him if he wanted to be an organ donor. He said no. When I asked why he told me it was because he didn't want the government to come knocking for any of his organs when he still needed them. He really thought that becoming an organ donor meant that, at any time, his organs could be taken.

6. johntetherbon90 knew exactly when things weren't looking up.

Driving down the road and the moon is visible during the day...

Her: how is the moon out at the same time as the sun?

Me: sometimes that happens, it's not that uncommon.

Her: no they are the same thing so how can we see both at the same time?!

Me: ...The sun and the moon are 2 different things, are you serious?

Her: yea, not everyone went to college like you schoolboy.

Me: you learn this in like 2nd grade...

She was in her early 30s...

7. TheFascination dated a dude who couldn't even learn how to learn.

I asked him about the class he was taking at community college.

Him: It's going ok! Better than last year. I failed it twice.

Me: Must be a hard class! What's it about?

Him: Learning strategies.

He failed a class about how to learn. Twice.

8. averagesizedhatlogan was with a girl too dumb to poison with Kool-Aid.

Making Kool-Aid: "How much sugar does it need?" "It says on the package." "Just tell me." "One cup." "Okay... there's only a 1/3 cup here. Where is the whole cup?" "I don't know, just use the 1/3 cup." "Well, how many scoops do I do, then?" "It's one THIRD of a cup..." "I don't know fractions, just tell me." "I'm not... going to tell you. Figure it out. It's one THIRD of a cup. How many do you think it would be?" "I don't know, averagesizedhatlogan, just tell me!" ".....Three."

The girl was 20 years old at the time. I'll never forget that.

9. DrCool2016 found out the horseman wasn't the only one without a head.

My girlfriend at the time genuinely believed that it was the headless horseman that ran though Lexington and Concord shouting "The British are coming, the British are coming!"

10. pm_me_good_news was not a fan.

Said her dad told her the giant wind farm fans in central California were to cool things down and she believed him.

Me: when you were a kid?

Her: no, last year.

11. CharlieSabina's dude didn't give a shit.

He decided that he didn't want to poop while staying with me in student halls, so he didn't poop for ten days and seriously messed up his digestive system

12. RonyTheTurtle significant other only knew of one kind of bird.

"Is that an albino duck?" "That's a dove."

13. Cursethewind had the hood pulled over her eyes.

When he joined the Klan while dating me.

I'm not white...

14. j0m1n1n found out her deal breaker in the dark.

When he answered his cell phone in the movie theater and proceeded to have a loud conversation with his dealer during the movie.

15. hofnowhere had to stare this guy's stupidity in the face.

He wrote a love poem about my brown eyes. My eyes are green.

16. Migz968 was in public when he realized a lightbulb wasn't thing only thing that was a little dull.

She threw a butter knife at a light bulb in a crowded restaurant because she didn't like that it was flickering

17. PerilousAll​dated the dangerous kind of dumb.

He actually believed that if you had money, it was because god thought you were a good person, and only bad people were poor. The truly ironic part of this was that he couldn't get enough work to make a living, and had to ask his wealthy father for handouts all the time.

18. And finally XPaladoshiss, figured out how dumb his girl was right off the bat.

I asked her out and she said yes.

Randy Newman's new song is all about shirtless Vladimir Putin.

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Randy Newman, the guy behind "You Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story, has just released his first new song in years and it is about a shirtless Vladimir Putin. See? 2016 isn't all bad.

According to The Washington Post, Newman has only released four studio albums in the past 36 years. His last album came out in 2008 and featured the satirical song, "I'm Dreaming of a White President," which effectively roasted those who were hesitant to vote for Barack Obama because of his race.

"Putin" pokes fun at the shirtless, horseback-riding, tractor-driving Russian leader. Although Newman told The Washington Post that he didn't intend for the song to be overtly political, it is impossible to ignore how timely it is. Newman also opened up about his feelings on Donald Trump.

It’s a big surprise to me about the country that there are 40 million people prepared to vote for [Trump.] They wouldn’t want him as a friend. No matter who you are, you wouldn’t want him on your bowling team or to have dinner with him or anything. They would recognize it immediately in a guy. A big blowhard, braggart.

Maybe Newman and Pixar should cash in on Russia's political relevance and make the least adorable animated movie of all time. You will probably cry more at Pixar's Putin than Pixar's Up, but for totally different reasons.

Rihanna threw some not-so-subtle shade at her exes on Instagram.

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Rihanna took to Instagram over the weekend to throw some not-so-subtle shade in the direction of her exes. She posted this meme on Sunday:

#🏆

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

It reads "None of my exs are married or in happy relationships so it's safe to say I wasn't da problem lol," and RiRi captioned it with only a trophy emoji. Girl is not subtle with her shade.

It's pretty safe to say that Rihanna has won all of her breakups, especially because she is now rumored to be back with Drake, who is totally head over heels for her. (At least we hope they're together. Please let this be the one internet theory that's true!!)

All the trophies for you, RiRi.

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