It's exceedingly easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of working life. Unless you're born tremendously rich, working 40 hours a week is a necessary, and if you want to claw your way up the ladder of capitalism (or just survive the growing wealth gap) - you often have to work more.

While working hard and sprinting towards career goals can be incredibly fulfilling, in the grand scheme, logging more hours pales in comparison to the importance of soaking up time with family and loved ones.

The father and co-founder of a company called Cloudability, J.R. Storment, was reminded of this hard truth when his 8-year-old son Wiley passed away during a work meeting.

After taking inventory of both his deeply personal grief, and life priorities in general, Storment penned a post on LinkedIn urging other parents and professionals to slow down and spend time with their loved ones.

"Eight years ago, during the same month, I had twin boys and co-founded Cloudability. About three months ago Cloudability was acquired. About three weeks ago we lost one of our boys."

"When I got the call I was sitting in a conference room with 12 people at our Portland office talking about PTO policies. Minutes earlier, I had admitted to the group that in the last 8 years I’d not taken more than a contiguous week off."

"My wife and I have an agreement that when one of us calls, the other answers. So when the phone rang I stood up and walked to the conference room door immediately.

I was still walking through the door when I answered with “Hey, what’s up?”

Her reply was icy and immediate: “J.R., Wiley is dead.”

“What?” I responded incredulously.

“Wiley has died.” she reiterated.

“What?! No.” I yelled out, “No!”

“I’m so sorry, I have to call 911.”

"That was the entire conversation. The next thing I know I’m sprinting out the front door of the office with my car keys in hand, running ferociously across the street and muttering “oh Fuck. oh Fuck. oh Fuck.”. Half way down the block I realize I don’t have the opener to my parking garage. Running back into the lobby, I all but shout “Someone drive me! Somebody drive me!” Thankfully, a helpful colleague did."

Storment's post laid out the sequence of events that occurred on the day his son Wiley passed, the surreal and sudden nature of the loss, and his regrets in hindsight.

"By the time I got home twelve minutes later, our cul-de-sac was packed with emergency vehicles. I sprinted through our open front door and ran straight towards the bedroom that the boys share. One of a half-dozen police officers there stepped in front of me blocking the way. When a child dies suddenly, it becomes a potential crime scene."

"It was 2.5 painful hours before I could see my boy. After an hour of waiting in shock out front, I told the armed police officers guarding the doors that I couldn’t wait any longer. They allowed me to go out to the deck facing the kids room to peer through the sliding glass window. He lay in his bed, covers neatly on, looking peacefully asleep. I put my hand on the glass and lost it."

"When the medical examiner finally finished his work, we were allowed in the room. An eerie calm came over me. I laid down next to him in the bed that he loved, held his hand and kept repeating, “What happened, buddy? What happened?”

"We stayed next to him for maybe 30 minutes and stroked his hair before they returned with a gurney to take him away. I walked him out, holding his hand and his forehead through the body bag as he was wheeled down our driveway. Then all the cars drove away. The last one to leave was the black minivan with Wiley in it."

He shared Wiley's goals, both the ones he didn't survive to achieve, and the ones he tasted in his short but full life.

"Wiley was obsessed with starting a business. One day it was a smoothie stand, the next it would be a gallery, then a VR headset company, then a ‘coder’, then a spaceship building company. In each of these scenarios he was the boss. His brother (and sometimes us) were invited to work for—not with— him and were each assigned jobs. In the gallery scenario, Wiley informed Oliver that he would be manning the cash register."

"Around 5 years old, Wiley decided he was going to get married as an adult. By 6 he had identified the girl, holding her hand at recess on the first day of kindergarten. Over the next two years as we moved from Portland to London to Hawaii, he kept in touch with her by handwritten letter. Not long before we moved back to Portland, the two agreed (by letter) to marry. She beat him to the punch and asked him. He accepted. Happily, he got to see her twice after we moved back to Portland in June."

"One of the countless difficult moments of this month was signing his death certificate. Seeing his name written on the top of it was hard. However, two fields further down the form crushed me. The first said: “Occupation: Never worked” and the next: “Marital Status: Never married”. He wanted so badly to do both of those things. I feel both fortunate and guilty to have had success in each."

Storment opened up about all of the moments he's replayed in the last few weeks, mostly, the ones he wished he'd savored more fully.

"Over the last three weeks I have come up with an endless stream of things I regret. They tend to fall into two categories: things I wish I had done differently and things I’m sad not to see him do. My wife is constantly reminding me of all the things he did do: Wiley went to 10 countries, drove a car on a farm road in Hawaii, hiked in Greece, snorkeled in Fiji, wore a suit to a fantastic British prep school every day for two years, got rescued from a shark on a jet ski, kissed multiple girls, got good enough at chess to beat me twice in a row, wrote short stories and drew comics obsessively."

And then he died in his bed overnight. The evening before was normal. Wiley was healthy and engaged. We had friends with kids over for dinner. We all jumped on the giant trampoline that had been the first purchase for the house we had bought just a few weeks ago.

That evening Wiley got be bossy with the other kids (other than his mother, he was one of the most opinionated people I know) and started telling everyone they were playing the game wrong. I pulled him aside. I was stern with him. Too stern in hindsight. And I made him cry. It’s one of the last interactions we had and I’ve beaten myself up for it a dozen times. I can still see the tears rolling down his face and the protestations of “But you’re not listening to me. No one listens to me”.

"A few hours later, things had calmed down. We ordered take out and Wiley ate his favorite meal: rice with yellow dahl. Then we put the kids to bed. I had a very sweet interaction with Wiley at bedtime and apologized for making him cry. We had a good snuggle and I went to bed myself."

"About 15 minutes later, I was laying in bed and through the darkened room saw his half naked form—always impossibly tall and lean for his age— walking up the stairs to our bedroom.

“Papa, I can’t sleep.”

There was loud music playing outside from a neighbor’s party and it was keeping him awake. I walked him back to his room and shut all the windows. He said that was better. We had another quick snuggle and a sweet exchange. Then I went to bed for good."

"Around 5:40am, the next morning I woke up for a series of back to back meetings. I did a Peloton ride, took an analyst call from my home office, one with a colleague on the drive to work, then the rest at the office. None seem that important now. I left that morning without saying goodbye or checking on the boys."

"Late that morning, Jessica had thought Wiley was simply sleeping in. He loved to sleep, he loved his bed, and it had been a big week of late bedtimes and fun daytime activities with visiting friends. Eventually she got the sense it had been too long and went in to check on him."

"He was cold. The Medical Examiner later estimated he had been dead for at least 8-10 hours by the time she found him, indicating he passed early in the night."

His post also detailed Wiley's cause of death, and how doctors rarely warn parents given how rare it is.

"Last year, Wiley was diagnosed with a typically mild form of epilepsy called Benign Rolandic Epilepsy that is most common in boys between 8-13. It’s called ‘benign’ because it typically resolves on its own by the teenage years. Wiley’s was light: we only saw a single confirmed seizure occur. It happened about 9 months ago while we were visiting Portland from the UK."

"All of the multiple pediatricians and neurologists with whom we discussed his condition said there was little to be concerned about. He had the “best” type of epilepsy and we should let it run his course. None mentioned what ultimately killed him. SUDEP is shorthand for Sudden Unexplained Death of Epilepsy. It’s rare enough that there is a philosophical debate in the neurology community about whether to proactively tell parents about it."

"SUDEP is generally seen to be unpredictable, unpreventable, and irreversible once it starts. It can be tied to a seizure but many times the brain just shuts down. Statistically, it was highly unlikely to hit our son: 1 out of 4,500 children with epilepsy are affected. Sometimes you end up the statistic."

In closing, Storment said the best way others can support them amidst this tremendous loss is by being more attentive to their own kids and loved ones.

"Many have asked what they can do to help. Hug your kids. Don’t work too late. A lot of the things you are likely spending your time on you’ll regret once you no longer have the time. I’m guessing you have 1:1 meetings on the books with a lot of people you work with. Do you have them regularly scheduled with your kids? If there’s any lesson to take away from this, it’s to remind others (and myself) not to miss out on the things that matter."

"I haven’t gone back to work yet. So, if you’ve emailed or messaged me, it’s likely I haven’t replied. When I do go back, I may end up declaring an email bankruptcy."

"The big question is how to return to work in a way that won’t leave me again with the regrets I have now. To be honest, I’ve considered not going back. But I believe in the words of Kahlil Gibran who said, “Work is love made visible.'' To me, that line is a testament to how much we gain, grow and offer through the work we do. But that work needs to have a balance that I have rarely lived. It’s a balance that lets us offer our gifts to the world but not at the cost of self and family."

"While I sat writing this post, my living son, Oliver, came in to ask for screen time. Instead of saying the usual ‘no’, I stopped writing and asked if I could play with him. He was happily surprised by my answer and we connected in a way I would have formerly missed out on. Small things matter. One silver lining from this tragedy is the improving relationship I have with him."

"Our family has gone from having two units of two (the parents and the twins) to now being a triangle of three. That’s a big adjustment for a family that has always been four. Oliver’s brilliant reply when we discussed the shape of our new family: “But Papa, the triangle is the strongest shape.” By some sad and beautiful irony, Oliver has met three sets of 8-year-old twins in our new neighborhood since Wiley passed."

"I’ve learned to stop waiting to do the things the kids ask for. When we sold the business I gave each of the boys a $100 dollar bill. They decided to pool their money to buy a tent for camping. But we didn’t make it happen before Wiley died. Another regret. So, after the first round of family visits after his death, I took Jessica and Oliver to REI to get gear and we left town quickly to camp near Mt. St. Helens."

"Somehow, we got to the wilderness without enough cash to cover the campground fee and had a slight panic. Jessica then realized that Wiley’s $100 bill was still in his seat pocket. He got to spend his money on camping after all. Collectively, the family said a big, “Thanks, buddy” out-loud to him. It was one of many bittersweet moments we will experience for the rest of our lives. Each happy time brings with it the sadness that he doesn’t get to experience it."

He finished the post with pointed song lyrics he remembers soaking in with Wiley at the Oregon Country Fair.

"One of Wiley's happy times was listening to music and dancing. Damn, could that kid dance. He loved the Oregon Country Fair and the year before we left for London, we listened to a band there play a version of “Enjoy yourself (It’s later than you think)”. The words stuck with me that day three years ago and painfully so now:"

“You work and work for years and years, you're always on the go

You never take a minute off, too busy makin' dough

Someday, you say, you'll have your fun, when you're a millionaire

Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink

The years go by, as quickly as a wink

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think”

"As my wife writes in her beautiful post (she’s always more eloquent than I am), All That Remains, “Please ask us about our son’s life and his death. We heal in small bits while talking about it.”

Out of these ashes have come many new and restored connections. Thank you for being one of mine. And I hope from this tragedy you consider how you prioritize your own time."

A lot of people have read and empathized with Storment's post, some of whom who have lost children of their own.

Laura Rapoch shared that her family is going through a similar loss.

"Our 10 year old shared the same message as your Oliver when our family recently became a triangle as well. As we adjust to our new "normal", this could not have come at a more perfect time. Thank you for reminding us to find balance in our every day."

Ana Laura Del Bono thanked Storment for generously opening up about Wiley's story.

"Thank you for sharing and making us parents to stop and think about this. Seems like Wiley lived an amazing life, and sure many of his dreams came true in his dreams. This story, Wiley will be an inspiring light for many."

Another anonymous LinkedIn User thanked Storment for reminding them to spend time with their own kids.

"Thank you for sharing your story. I will be spending more time with my boys and loving them more after reading this. Nothing is more important than my two sons. Sending you and your family lots of love from Oklahoma."

Hopefully, Storment's words help other parents feel grateful for the time they have with their kids.

John Bolton is famous for being an architect of the Iraq war and advocating for a whole bunch of new ones. Before he could fulfill his dream of invading Venezuela and bombing Iran, Trump fired him, and announced the ousting on (where else?) Twitter.

Welp, seems like Bolton lost the Battle of the Bastards once again.

Firings seem like a standard procedure at this point. Dozens of war hawks and sycophants have cycled through the White House's revolving door, but this time, it's different.

Bolton disputed on Twitter that he was fired, offering his own version of events. He says that he wasn't asked to resign—he resigned on his own accord, but nothing was made official until Trump tweeted it out.

It sure sounds like Bolton found out that he was fired the same way everyone else did: through the president's tweet.

Bolton is basically on a press tour now saying "YOU DIDN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!" He started frantically texting journalists and Fox and Friends, saying, "let's be clear, I resigned."

Real journalist Robert Costa was sent the same statement.

The circumstances of Bolton's departure has turned into a full-blown he said-she said, with both the jilted war lover and White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham texting The Daily Beast.

The Beast reports:

In a text to The Daily Beast, White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham disputed the now-former national security adviser’s description of how he left the administration.

“Last night, Potus said he wanted Bolton’s resignation on his desk tomorrow AM. Bolton delivered it. Simply put, many of Bolton’s policy priorities did not align w POTUS,” Grisham said.

Bolton responded in a text to The Daily Beast: “[White House] press secretary statement is flatly incorrect.”

The rollout of this personnel change is absolutely chaotic, but at least Bolton and Trump are fighting with each other and not with Iran.

I've worked in retail, and the worst part, hands down, is dealing with customers. But the best part, other than the store-wide discount, is when a customer is so bad they get kicked out of the store. Nothing beats the sweet satisfaction of seeing someone who just tried to ruin your day have theirs ruined as the door shuts behind them. Someone asked retail workers of Reddit: "what was your 'GET THE F*CK OUT' experience with a customer?"

Here are 18 stories to remind you that, sometimes, karmic justice is served. Even in retail.

1.) From fernyer:

I worked at McDonalds in 1997 and we had Beanie Babies as happy meal toys at one point. It was insane.

They literally had to buy a security cage to keep the toys locked down in the back. They were delivered with a security escort. People were ordering "100 happy meals with no food" because we couldn't sell the toys by themselves.

One day I heard a commotion up front and found my high school counselor reaching across the counter grabbing one of the owners by the shirt because we were out of the pink flamingo. I'll never forget the look in her eyes. She had to be dragged out. It's scary how easy it can be to work people up into a frenzy.

2.) From DarekLowbrow:

Worked at Radioshack for 6 months while in college. Pretty much had at least one terrible experience per shift.

The one that stands out the most was a guy who wanted us to honor the warranty on his iPhone cable. The thing was a mutilated mess. It had clearly stopped working and he had tried to fix it himself by cutting the cable apart and attempting to solder two wires together.

We calmly explained that we couldn’t process a claim for an item that was willfully destroyed, and he starts screaming in our faces about how “Radioshack is a scam!” and “I’m going to sue all of you!” And then he tries to WHIP my coworker (a 5 ft tall non-threatening woman) with the cable! She managed to turn her head and catch the wire with her hand before it caught her in the face. Myself and another employee chased him out of the store and called the police but nothing came of it.

Radioshack shoppers were the worst.

3.) From GingerWon:

I worked at a ski resort when I was younger, fitting boots and sizing skis, etc, a ski rental shop. My first year I worked at basically the wal mart of rentals, the cheapest option and the biggest store. So the week of Christmas, there are lines out the door every single day. I remember seeing my two week paycheck after the two weeks around Xmas and I worked 119 hours. It was absolute insanity. For another reference, the closest town had a permanent residency of less than 10k people, but during Christmas it jumped up to 70k people trying to enjoy their vacation in the same spot.

So one of these days it’s business as usual, a quarter mile line out the door, non stop craziness. I’m at the bench closest to the door, helping a lady when this kid walks up to my bench. I asked if I could help him and he said he had reserved rentals online and he wanted to pick them up. I said this is our store name, if that’s where you reserved you’ll need to get in the back of the line and we’ll help you as soon as we can. This 13 year old kid said “this is f*cking bullsh*t” in front of the customer I was helping. I told him that quite literally every piece of equipment in our store was reserved, every single person in front of you has a reservation as well and we have to help everyone. He started insulting me personally, saying I was a stupid bitch and that he was going to report us to anyone he could because we weren’t letting him skip hundreds of people doing the exact same thing he was doing.

I think what pissed him off more is that I’m 6’3” and big. He was maybe 5’ something and 120 lbs. so when he called me a stupid bitch, I literally laughed in his face. I was at no point threatened by this child, and at first it was funny. The First Lady left, I’m ignore-laughing at this kid and asking the next person to come up and he starts yelling cuss words at me because I’m not helping him.

Up until this point, my manager had been a complete dick and I was not a fan of him. But he’d had enough of the Christmas rush as well and it was a perfect person to let off some steam on. I went and got my manager and told him this kid was personally attacking me and yelling cuss words in front of customers, so he walks up to the kid and says “I’m sorry for the confusion, what’s your name so I can take a look at your reservation?” And the kid lights up thinking he finally beat the system and he gets in front of everyone for throwing a bitch fit. My manager goes and finds his reservation (it’s digital but I’m pretty sure he printed it off for the added dramatic effect), comes back and says “ I found it.” He proceeds to rip it in half in front of his face, “don’t ever treat someone that’s trying to help you like that, you are never allowed in our store again, and with every other store in town also being completely 100% booked on equipment, good luck skiing this week.”

I still didn’t like the guy, but I respected him one point more for the rest of the season for standing up for me.

4.) From Lucasaurusawesome:

I worked in a T-Mobile store. A lady comes in screaming about how she bought a phone the previous day, didn't buy insurance and dropped it in a pool. She was demanding I give her a new phone for free. But, she wasn't even our customer. She was a Verizon customer. She screamed at me for about ten minutes demanding I call our manager. She then started yelling at other customers about how awful we were. Called the cops.

5.) From Fiber_fan:

This tale takes place roughly 22 years ago at a community college bookstore.

As with any college bookstore, the start of the semesters were incredibly busy. In order to help ease the insanity in our small store, we set up a table outside the front door for doing returns. And that's where I was stationed for the day.

People got in line. The got to me. I processed the paperwork for their return and sent them inside for the cashiers. This is an important point. I had no cash, no ability to process cards. Just me, a table, a stack of paper, and some pens. That's it.

Well, a middle aged lady gets to me. She is obviously not lacking in funds. Her son has dropped all his classes and she is returning his books. Ok. Cool. I do all the paperwork, hand her back the document and direct her inside.

And she goes BALLISTIC that she has to wait in line again. I mean starting nuclear wars ballistic. The customers in line behind her actually went to my manager to file formal statements about her behavior. Not mine. Hers. Because they knew.....

I take a break and shake it off. Everyone has bad days. And I know that I have the customers's statements to back me up. A few days pass and the manager gets a call.

It's the president of the college. With a complaint. THE WOMAN CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF THE COLLEGE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME. So my manager and I head off to a meeting with the president and the woman. We walked in calm and polite.

The woman tells her tirade, still screaming and cursing. My manager pulls out the statements and without a word, hands them to the president. The president calmly read them. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember watching the woman turn more and more red. I do remember the word "entitled" used a whole lot. And I do remember him saying "Don't waste my time ever again." before he showed her the door.

6.) From AnalLeaseHolder:

When I worked in the tool department at sears, a guy wanted to get a replacement on his tape measure. I couldn’t replace it because it was the tape that was f*cked up due to the guy mistreating it and not caring cause “sEaRs WiLl RePlAcE iT fOr FrEe.”

Dude threatened to go out to his truck and get his gun, come back in and “shoot you points at me, you points at my manager who had taken over already, and you points at my coworker who was standing nearby.”

I gave him the “why haven’t you done it yet?” look and he left.

I worked at sears, I was ready to die.

7.) From notsurethepoint:

I worked at a pawn shop for a couple years.

We had a customer pawn a chainsaw which turned up stolen and was confiscated by police which causes the store to lose money and police to be aware that he is a known thief.

He came back something close to three months later to pawn something else. I didn't recognize him right away.

I asked him if he had pawned anything before and he said yes, so I asked his last name and entered it into our computer system which promptly said STOLEN.

First I thought, "Really? You came back here?"

I gave my boss (it's literally a two person store) our not very frequently used signal to discreetly call the police. Meanwhile, I started acting like I was working on his loan and stalled a bit.

Just a couple minutes later, a couple police cars pulled up and officers quietly walked in and he immediately gave up.

I didn't really have to say anything to him. The handcuffs spoke for themselves.

8.) From orangelego:

When the old guy I was serving kept looking at my chest and making creepy facial expressions, I asked him if he wanted a drink or he was just going to keep staring. He excitedly put his hands out and went 'oh, I can do more than stare!' and tried to walk behind the bar to grab my chest. I told him to get the f*ck out, to which he seemed very shocked and outraged so I just started to loudly shout back to him 'sir, please do not try to grope my chest. You need to leave' over and over until the rest of the bar was staring and he was panickedly whispering for me to please be quiet. So the wife I didn't know he came with wouldn't hear him. Can only imagine the argument that unfolded while she was dragging him out.

9.) From bloodyboppa:

I was 18 and worked at a local grocery store in the produce department. Beyond regular duties, we made fruit trays on weekends - nothing fancy, just a variety of cut up fruit in large red bowls.

Dude comes in after 10:00pm (we close at 11) and asks for a tray with specific fruits. I tell him we unfortunately don't make custom trays. The 16 year old dude who is also on shift with me overhears and tells him it's slower tonight so he can do it for him. He says "Ok good", no gratefulness displayed at all. This co-worker of mine is legit always extra kind to customers, it's legitimately admirable.

20 minutes later my coworker comes out of the back room and presents it to this customer. He immediately starts screaming at him about how bad it looks. He yells things like "That looks like absolute shit! F*ck, are you an idiot!?" I run over to see what the problem is. The fruit tray looks absolutely standard but this guy isn't having it. He smashes it on the ground and keeps screaming about how we are "retarded" and how we have wasted his time. I snap. I tell him to "Get the f*ck out".

He postures up (keep in mind this guy is like in his 40s, ready to fight some teenagers over a fruit tray). Numerous other employees run over and yell for him to get out. He says "I'll be back for all of you retards" and runs toward and out the sliding doors.

All this on camera luckily so management calls the cops regarding his actions and that last threat. They ended up arresting him later on because apparently he also had some warrants. Hope the fruit was worth it, asshole.

10.) From gsg4n1:

It couldn’t have been more obvious that a guy was trying to return stolen merchandise. He “lost” the receipt, didn’t know when it was purchased, paid with cash so we couldn’t just easily look up the transaction on a credit card...

He said he would call his friend to ask if they knew when it was purchased, and then he took out his iPhone and without pressing a button started to talk on it. I was like...I can clearly see the home screen with no call happening.

When he “got off the phone” I got a little bold and in my best retail manager voice said something to the effect of, “oh that’s cool! Is that a new update where you can talk to someone without actually calling them?”

He left after that.

11.) From Usidore_:

Not me saying the "Get the f*ck out" part, but my manager on my behalf.

I'd recently had a very bad experience in my first paid job, and I quit, because I felt so insecure about my appearance and ability in a typical work environment (I have achondroplastic dwarfism, making me 4ft tall and disproportionate). So instead I was volunteering in a small town charity shop, to gain some confidence again. My manager knew all about this.

I was in the back room when this guy comes in and rings the bell. I walk in, and he just stares at me, laughs and says "Is this Santa's Workshop??" I just stand there, and my manager, who is at the till, says coldly "Excuse me?" and the guy looks taken aback. "Sorry, I did not expect to see someone like that here!"

They both look at me and I just awkwardly said something like "Well...I am" and shrugged. And it would have been fine, until he then said "So, do you make the toys?"

My manager walked out from behind the counter, pointed to the door, and said flatly "Do not disrespect my staff. Get out." He started apologising. "OUT!"

He still seemed to find the whole situation hilarious and left. Man I miss that manager. She was the best. Thank you Bianca.

12.) From LuciditySam:

I had a customer who used a racial slur to describe one of my employees for no other reason beyond the fact that he saw them and was offended that "one of them" was doing their job by doing the oil change that he came to us to do. I told him to apologize to my employee or we will push his car right out of the bay without oil. He refused, and we did just that. Told him he's more than welcome to buy his own oil and finish his oil change himself, and that he will be charged double for all services here on out if he comes into my store.

I had no problem telling this racist jackass to go f*ck himself.

13.) From killersim:

I used to work the reception desk at a tattoo shop. I had MANY gtfo moments but the one that stands out was a dude coming in with his girlfriend to get his name tattooed on her. She looked terrified, wouldn’t make eye contact with me, didn’t talk directly to me, and barely spoke. The whole conversation was the dude giving me her license and saying “SHE wants MY name tattooed on to her.” I took way more info from both of them than I needed and tried to get the woman to come in back alone so I could talk to her, but boyfriend wouldn’t have it. I eventually went back and got the shop manager (big dude) and told him what was up. I came back to the counter and lied saying we didn’t have walk-ins that day and dude got pissed. I started yelling, shop manager came out and physically removed them from the shop. I called the cops and provided all the info I had. Was basically told they couldn’t do anything unless it was self-reported. I still think about the woman all the time.

14.) From Cantinabandsong:

I work in a Dutch 24/7 gas station. This German kid (20-25 yo) came in the shop drunk (while driving). Looked for beer (which we are not allowed to sell), and got all mad that I hid the beers. He wanted to start a fight and he wanted to drive off in his car.

That was impossible since I locked the door and alerted the cops. He lost his drives license and got a huge fine, which he had to pay instantly. What an asshole.

15.) From limpdickskit:

The one that jumps out to me was when a customer was trying to return a wall mount that was six months out of policy. He was being snide and verbally abusive to the customer service rep, saying things like “I know you can do this, I return shit out of policy all the time.” Or “well, if you weren’t so stupid this would be done by now.”

He ended up making her start to cry when he said “Jesus Christ, are you retarded??” Well, she worked with special needs kids as a volunteer and this pushed her over the edge. I walked over to him and told her to go into the back and asked him why he thinks it’s okay to talk like that. I’m guessing since I’m a male and a manager he decided to be respectful. I was pissed off beyond belief at how he’d made her cry though so I cut off his explanations and told him to get out. He said “now hold on, let’s all calm down-“ and I grabbed my radio piece and told my security to go ahead and get the police on the way down there for someone trespassing. He left so fast at that comment that he forgot his wall mount. Dick.

16.) From any_means_necessary:

I used to work for Qwik Lube in Alaska for a boss named John who was a decent manager and enjoyed handling customers. He was professional and kind and knowledgeable but LOVED to tell the couple stories of customers he told off.

The coldest move was a customer who was berating him. Customer reached out and stuffed a business card into John's shirt pocket, demanding to SEE THE BOSS RIGHT NOW. John said he took the card back out, shoved it THAT guy's pocket, and said "the buck stops here get the fck out of my shop".*

I've carried that as a reminder that professionals take shit as part of their job, but nobody should take too much.

17.) From Tumbling-Dice:

When they try a quick change scam. Here's how it works There are many variations on it.

It happened to me once. After the transaction, something didn't feel right about it so I called my supervisor. We reviewed the security footage and I was in fact taken for $20. The guy came back two weeks later and tried it again with another employee and she was tricked as well. He came by a third time and his trick didn't work since we were all wise to it now. The owners and my supervisor immediately rushed downstairs and chased the guy for a couple of blocks.

18.) From thisisinput:

I worked at a BBQ restaurant for my first job. We had a take out area where the customer can watch you cut the meat and pack the side dishes. The girl at the register rang up a quart of potato salad when the customer asked for pasta salad, so I pack potato salad. When the customer received his order he look through it and flipped shit when he saw potato salad and started screaming at me go figure. Unbeknownst to all of us the owner of the store heard the commotion and was on the other side of the swing door behind me which had a small window. The angry customer decided to throw a quart of potato salad at me which I ducked to avoid. It splattered against the window on the swing door as the owner was looking out of it. He burst through the door (he is 6'4 and very built), grabbed this scrawny dude by his shirt collar and he had straight fear in his eyes. My boss literally threw him out the door. Went back to the register to ask the girl what his totally was, grabbed the cash, and tossed it out the door at the angry customer as he was collecting himself off the ground. It was an awesome scene.

TL;DR My former boss threw a customer out the door after the customer threw potato salad at me.

"Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness."

-Oprah Winfrey

Think like a meme queen. A meme queen is not afraid to laugh at memes. Laughing at memes is another steppingstone to greatness. Oprah didn't say that, but let's be honest, she should have. These memes are hilarious and relatable. Enjoy them, my queens.

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Thinking about sleeping with your best friend's current or former partner? Turns out, there are certain circumstances in which this is okay (foursome, explicit consent from everyone involved) but a whole lot of circumstances in which it's not okay, and not worth it. These 16 people have done the deed and lived to share about it on Reddit, some of them a lot more regretful than others:

1.) PTL_Devotion lost a friend:

She was my girlfriend in high school, the three of us used to hang out all the time. They began dating while I was away at college, we'd hang out during the summers when I came back. My best friend got colder and more distant as time passed. When she got pregnant, he flat out told me he did not want me around them anymore because he couldn't handle the thought that I had banged the mother of his child.

That was almost ten years ago. I still miss him but I respect his feelings and hope we can hang out again someday.

2.) IndWrist says it wasn't worth it:

We all used to be roommates, they were engaged, I lived in the basement. We were like three peas in a pod. I eventually bought my own place. Then one day the engagement ended, he kicked her out, she need a place to stay. So, I slept on the couch, she slept in my bed. Worked like that for a while, I was the go-between for them. Then she and I got drunk and had fucking mind blowing sex. Now I’m out two friends. He stopped talking to me, she and I dated for a while, then she cheated. So, it probably wasn’t worth it.

3.) pls_send_sexy_pics knows all good things come in threes:

She wanted a threesome. We had a threesome.

4.) MrMcSwifty is more evolved than us:

I fucked his, he fucked mine. Everyone had a good time and it led to a lovely swinging/FWBs thing for a while. They have since split up over some unrelated shit and he has pretty much exiled himself from our group. Needless to say my friendship with him is a little weird right now; wife and I are still hooking up with his ex though.

5.) trybeofone is one of the lucky ones:

He was into it, I was into it, she was into it.

We're still good friends.

6.) thatEMSguy took the term "slept with" extremely literally:

We both had a conference for our respective jobs in the same city so we decided to share a hotel. The hotel we chose overbooked and they only had a room with one bed, so we took it and slept in the same bed. There were a few times when I woke up because I was spooning her or vice versa. But that was the extent of it.

7.) jimothyjonathans learned from the experience:

It was a consenting threesome that deteriorated their relationship and made me realize I’m gay.

8.) danyelviana states the facts:

Alcohol happened. And the fact that she was super hot didn't help.

9.) krinklekut got lucky:

He was fine with it to begin with. Downright encouraged us to hook up. They broke up shortly after. She and I are getting married next month. He's my best man.

10.) ALG0R1DDUM learned from his mistake:

Shame & guilt never go way. people say you can get over anything and I dont think there any getting over this stuff you just live it and get used to knowing ur not as good a person as you'd like to be also know that 1 mistake doesnt define your entire existence.

11.) hasneverflossed cherishes the memories:

I slept with my GF's best friend when we were in college. GF was a part of it. So was the best friend's boyfriend.

What happened was pretty fucking awesome.

We are not together anymore but they are great memories.

12.) lucia-pacciola learned a lot:

Napa Valley. Airbnb. Hot tub. Wine. Foursome.

Somehow it worked out okay. All four of us stayed friends afterwards. But that night I learned two things:

First, that I'm super uncomfortable seeing my partner being pleasured by someone else.

Second, group sex in a hot tub is fucking disgusting.

13.) TigerApricot93 writes:

Back when I was 19 I used to be best friends with this guy who was a solid 4-5 years older than I was. He had been dating this girl for a couple year before I’d met him but we all hung out pretty regularly (a few times a week). Eventually she got pregnant by accident and in an effort to sabotage the relationship (that’s my opinion anyway) he started cheating on her. I found out about the infidelity and confronted him demanding he tell his girlfriend about it because she didn’t deserve that.

Long story short he was kicked out and they had a nasty breakup, but since I’d been friends with both of them and I was disgusted that he would do something like that I started spending lots of time with her. While it started out completely platonic it quickly evolved into a romantic relationship and we both knew that we loved each other. We were married the following February and my eldest son was born that June. Been married about 5 1/2 years now and it was easily the best decision I’ve ever made. I love my wife and family and couldn’t imagine anything else.

14.) mylosttoaster was just trying to help his friend out, guys.

I told him she was no good. He said prove it. I did. He said "I'm not even sure if I should be mad or thankful" and left the room. We still friends

15.) Shakko_ has some advice:

Don't do it, it's stupid and hurts the bro to bro relationship. Although everything seems to be back to normal, I am still a bit ashamed of myself and the situations where we three are together are sometimes a bit weirder than before. Just don't do it

16.) trumisadump is "Eskimo brothers" with his co-workers:

My best friend/roommate dated this hot blond for about 6 months casually. Few months after they ended things I ran into her at the bar. We had way too many drinks and I went back to her place with the intention of sleeping on the couch. After about 10 mins on the couch she came out of her room naked and asked me to come to the bedroom. She was smoking hot and I was drunk so I went in and had amazing sex. When I woke up in the morning I felt super guilty for doing it. I then went home and told my friend what happened. He was pretty cool about everything and were still best friends today. The girl he dated and I slept with ended up working at the same company as us a few years later. It was sometimes awkward when the 3 of us had to work on stuff together. Even more awkward when she started dating another coworker because the 3 of us were Eskimo brothers.

“Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you imagine it.”

-George Lucas

Memes are extremely important. You can't laugh at them if you don't look at them. Luckily for you, I've scoured the internet for some of the most randomly hilarious memes out there. What a time saver.

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The concept of sending a message in a bottle feels literary, there's a very whimsical sensibility about launching a letter into the sea for some stranger to find. Most of the time, when people send a message in a bottle out into the watery abyss, they are left to wonder where it landed and whether anyone discovered it.

However, in the time of cellphones, it's a lot easier to keep tabs on the messages you send out to sea. So, when a family launched a letter with the bottled ashes of their loved one, they were pleasantly surprised to hear back from the woman who found it.

According to an Imgur post that is making the rounds, the family of deceased 39-year-old truck driver Brian Mullins decided to send him off on a last adventure after his passing.

“He was an avid fisherman. He wanted to travel the world," his mother Darlene Mullins said. Since his death was sudden and he was never able to fulfill his dream of fishing, the family decided to send his ashes off to sea alongside a tribute, and $4 to cover the call of whoever found the bottle.

The bottle was initially sent from Destin, Florida on August 1st, and weeks later Sgt. Paula Pendleton found it washed up on a Gulf of Mexico beach.

Pendleton said she "cried like a baby" when she read the note inside the bottle, and revealed that it particularly touched her since she lost her husband last year.

"Who would have known when it washed up on our shores it would have gotten to me?" Pendleton said.

The first part of the note was written from Mullins' mom, and shared how much he loved traveling.

"This bottle contains the cremation ashes of my son, Brian, who suddenly and unexpectedly passed on March 9, 2019. More than anything, he longed to be free, so I'm sending him on one last adventure. This bottle was launched from Destin, Florida. If you find it please call or text and let me know. I have left $4 to cover the call. Feel free to add your own note, then kindly set him free once again. My son was 39 years old at the time of his passing and he was deeply loved. Please keep him traveling."

The second note in the letter was written from Brian's daughter, Peyton, who was just 14 years old at the time of his passing.

"Hi, my name is Peyton. I am Brian’s daughter. When my father passed, I was 14-years-old. It has struck our whole family pretty hard and, so far, it has been a very hard road. But, like my granny said, he loved to be free. So, that’s exactly what we are doing.”

Pendleton texted the family to let them know she found Brian's ashes and would be sending him back out on the next leg of his journey, but not before letting him ride in the patrol car.

“I am putting the note back into the bottle with Brian’s ashes and delivering it to a friend who is a charter boat captain. He has offered to bring Brian way out into the Gulf so he can continue his adventure. But, before that, I want you to know he got to do a ride-a-long with a deputy before drifting out once again.”

Brian was sent back out to sea on September 6th, hopefully many more encounter him and help him on his way.

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Call me basic if you must, but I'd straight up snort a line of pumpkin spice. You can pry my UGGS off my cold dead body, which would actually look pretty cool with the Halloween decorations that have been up in my home since Mid-August. Fall is life. Period. If you agree, these memes will be relatable and hilarious as hell.

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Turns out the "clueless husband" is more than just an overdone trope in sitcoms, as these 17 examples prove they exist IRL too. *Facepalm*

1.) This husband who doesn't know how to open a juice carton.

2.) The husband who bought school supplies for every single grade, not just the grade his sons are in.

Caption:

Sooooo My Husband Received The School Supply List In The Summer...I Said Back Then I Think You Doing To Much...He Says Nope He's Simply Doing What Was Instructed of Him Per The Note 📝 ...I Said Okay ✌🏽And Minded My Business...Until He Hands Me This Tote..Yes A Full Tote Full Of School Supplies Last Night To Label For Our Baby Boy...WTF Who's List Did He Get ...The Master List Of The Whole School🤔...Needless To Say I Was The Laugh Of The Morning Today...Showing Up To School With a 100 Bags of School Supplies Because My Husband Did The Whole List & Not Just His Our Baby Boys Portion...Damn Men🤦🏽‍♀️Think They Know Everything 🙅🏽😂*

3.) The husband who is also a squirrel.

4.) The husband who "does this and then yells at the kids when it gets knocked over"

5.) The husband who mixed the lights and the darks.

6.) The 6'2" husband who hung this mirror for him and his 5'1" wife.

7.) This husband who pulls his pants UP to pee.

8.) The husband who had never seen a cucumber before.

9.) The husband who blew up a kiddy pool in a "tiny a**" living room.

10.) The husband who cuts watermelon wrong.

11.) The husband who microwaved a shirt to dry it faster.

12.) The husband who took a selfie while his wife was in the middle of giving birth.

13.) The husband who installed a urinal in the family bathroom.

14.) The husband who ties bread bags into super tight, impenetrable knots.

15.) The husband who bought exactly six potatoes.

16.) The husband who packed his wife a fancy feast for lunch.

17.) The husband who made sure there were no leaves in the house.

18.) The husband who made toast.

The betrayal of being cheated on is an awful feeling no matter what. But having a partner cheat on you with your brother, well, that is next level betrayal from both parties. Not only do you lose trust in your partner, but you also have to take inventory of a close familial relationship while grieving the loss of your relationship.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a woman shared how one of her brothers cheated with the other brother's ex-fiance.

"AITA for wanting to forgive one brother for having an affair with another brother's fiance?"

OP started the post by sharing that three years ago, her brother John found out his (ex) fiance was cheating on him with her brother Matt.

To make matters worse, the child he thought was his, was actually Matt's.

"Let me just start off and say I think cheating is deplorable. I have two brothers, John (28) and Matt (25). Around three years ago, our family exploded when it came out that Matt was having an affair with John's fiance. A fiance who was 6 months pregnant. Matt turned out to be the father. John was understandably humiliated and angry. I was fully on his side. I was disgusted with Matt and the fiance."

Since the news came out, John's ex-fiance has married Matt and birthed his child.

"Here's my issue though. At John's insistence, Matt has pretty much been excommunicated from our family. He isn't allowed at any gatherings where John is. And John purposely makes sure he is at every one."

Because of the betrayal, Matt and his wife are left out of most family events, and John is still actively angry about their coupledom.

"Matt married John's ex-fiance and are raising the 2.5 year old together. To this day, Matt's wife is referred to as a whore and the baby is called a bastard. Only by John but in our family's presence. He hates them with a passion even today."

OP feels conflicted because she empathizes with John's feelings of betrayal, but she also thinks the baby should be part of the family.

"My parents have really struggled with this but have agreed to follow John's rule of no contact with the wife or baby. Even contact with Matt is done in secret. Matt has been kicked out of our family business because John can't be in the same room as him. All photos of Matt have been hidden in the family home. No gifts have been given to Matt's child at all."

"Am I absolutely crazy to think that three years of this is enough? Matt is clearly remorseful and has apologized many times in tears. He clearly regrets hurting our brother. I can understand that John is absolutely hurt and it must've been the most painful betrayal."

OP strongly believes Matt did an awful thing when he first started sleeping with John's fiance, but she doesn't think he should be punished indefinitely.

"But I still love both my brothers. Matt did a shitty thing but how much more does he need to be punished? My poor parents have been broken hearted for the past three years because of this. They have confided in me that they are willing to forgive Matt and move on and regret letting it get this far. We were such a tight knit family before."

OP is worried that suggesting forgiveness will cause John to freak out, but she also wants to bring Matt and his family back into the fold.

"But I'm really worried that suggesting forgiveness with John will cause a massive fight and he'll make us choose between them. I also worry about his mental health. There also the innocent child in this. He deserves a relationship with his grandparents and his aunt."

"I have recently been visiting Matt and his family. They are clearly struggling with the isolation. His wife broke down and apologized as I held my nephew for the first time. My heart tore in two.

AITA for wanting to bring them into our family again and forgiving them? There is family reunion coming up in a week and I want them to attend."

BamMaher thinks OP is ridiculous for wanting John to "get over" one of the worst betrayals possible.

"YTA. Why should he “get over it”? I mean really you feel bad for Matt? Matt is living with the consequences of doing one of the worst possible things he could have to your brother. He wants to approach John and beg for forgiveness that's one thing, but you don’t get to demand that Matt is allowed back in"

dellaevaine thinks John should be able to set any boundaries he needs, but shouldn't dictate everyone else's relationship with Matt.

"NTA. I don't agree. He might not get over it, but he doesn't have the right to tell everyone in the family to shun another family member. If he chooses to, that's on him, but everyone else can still have a relationship with their family member."

SpanishTimbrado thinks it's bonkers that OP doesn't understand where John is coming from.

"YTA. Massively. It baffles my mind that some people don't see this for the huge betrayal John would see it as. He was betrayed by his brother, his fiance humiliated in front of his family, the two of them got married and the child he thought was his, was HIS BROTHER'S."

"This is the type of shit you don't get over in a lifetime. 3 years is nothing. He is already reminded enough of this by the simple truth that it's his brother, too close to home. He doesn't need you to be bringing the f*ckers to family events."

"If I were him, I would absolutely despise you for even proposing this.

However, if you want to have a secret relationship with them, fine, it's a risky game if he finds out, but I don't think you'd be an asshole for it. Trying to let them back into the family "officially" is an entirely different thing and not your place to do so."

SelfANew quoted OP's post back to them and pointed out just how misplaced it is.

"Am I absolutely crazy to think that three years of this is enough?"

Yes, you're insane.

YTA.

"Matt is clearly remorseful and has apologized many times in tears."

No he isn't. He just realized his consequences. People that do these things don't understand remorse - they understand that they didn't get away with it.

"Matt did a shitty thing but how much more does he need to be punished?"

Forever. This isn't something that gets forgiven. This is a forever punishment. This is what Matt signed up for. He should have known this would be the outcome. He decided to do this.

You're upset with the wrong brother. Matt destroyed the family. Don't put any blame on John. He is acting the way anyone would.

"But I'm really worried that suggesting forgiveness with John will cause a massive fight and he'll make us choose between them."

You are choosing between them. You're picking Matt over John if you want forgiveness.

"There also the innocent child in this. He deserves a relationship with his grandparents and his aunt."

Blame the child's parents for that. This is like being upset at the state that a kid's parents go to jail if they commit crimes. They did this. Blame them.

"I have recently been visiting Matt and his family."

Then you picked them over the brother that did nothing wrong. You decided you'd rather be comfortable with how things were than actually do the right thing by the brother that didn't ruin everything."

"They are clearly struggling with the isolation."

Good.

"His wife broke down and apologized as I held my nephew for the first time. My heart tore in two."

Boohoo for them. They're upset they got caught. This stays forever. You picked them, so prepare to also start being on the outside. You picked the people that would hurt family for personal fun.

"AITA for wanting to bring them into our family again and forgiving them? There is family reunion coming up in a week and I want them to attend."

You deserve to be brothers with Matt. I feel so sorry for John, he got two shit siblings."

beigefrog thinks OP is completely wrong in this scenario.

"YTA. Your brother was hurt irrevocably by that guy and by his ex-fiancée and the pain probably hasn’t reduced much over the years. He counts on his family for emotional support and loyalty and now you want to forgive the one person who caused all this? You are a huge *sshole."

"Resume contact with Matt and the ex-fiancee if you want, but don’t expect John to be happy about it and not burn bridges with you."

It sounds like the internet almost unanimously agrees that OP would be irreparably damaging her relationship with John if she tries to bring Matt back into the fold. At this point, it's just a question of whether or not she'll take the leap.

"For me, adulthood is realizing that there are no grown-ups and everyone else is winging it."

-Sarah Beeny

If being an adult is sucking your will to live and you wish you could just go back to naptime, cartoons, and juice boxes this meme list is for you.

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The internet's love of scammers, schadenfreude, and beautiful white women having mental breakdowns found a perfect subject in Caroline Calloway. Widely regarded as one of the first Instagram influencers, the flower crown aficionado's downfall from a Cambridge student with a $500,000 book deal to a Matisse knockoff artist living in a roach den has fascinated hundreds of thousands of people.

Observers watched as Calloway went from a blogger living the "American in Oxbridge fairy tale" to an alleged scammer in real time. An essay published by Calloway's former friend and ghostwriter revealed that even in the glory days of Calloway's high class European adventure, things were not what they seemed.

In a longform piece called "I Was Caroline Calloway," Natalie Beach spilled the tea on the influencer/scammer (influammer?), in a sensitive, well-written fashion. The piece went viral and seemingly random phrases like "Yale plates" continue to trend, so let's break it down.

Who is Caroline Callaway?

Caroline Gotschall Calloway, known as Calloway, is an Instagram personality who first went viral for writing about her rom-com ready life as an American student at Cambridge University. After spending a year and a half at NYU, she transferred to St. Edmund's College in Cambridge, which she described to Vice as "objectively the worst" one. Academics were a secondary concern, however, and Calloway set off to England to wear flowers at balls and hobnob with European aristocracy.

Her Instagrams were enough to capture the attention of book agent Byrd Leavell, whose clients included Donald Trump. Calloway scored a $500,000 book deal to write about her romantic adventures, which she later backed out from, insisting that it was against her "feminist values" to write a book about the boys she dated. After a hiatus from Instagram infamy, she went viral for hosting $165 "creativity workshops" that were compared to the Fyre Festival.

Who is Natalie Beach?

Unlike Calloway, Natalie Beach is a writer who actually writes—and was the brain behind Calloway's brand.

In her essay, Beach recounts that she and Calloway first met in an NYU writing class, and Calloway took a liking to her because she grew up near Yale:

Caroline first took an interest in me after I wrote an essay about growing up in New Haven. Yale was an obsession of hers; she’d been rejected and never got over it. The fact that I was a Yale townie won me an invitation to her West Village apartment, a studio painted Tiffany’s turquoise and filled with fresh orchids and hardcovers. “This is my Yale box,” she told me, sitting me on her white loveseat and showing me a shoe box of Handsome Dan and Beinecke-library memorabilia.

As a gag gift, Beach once got Calloway some cheap Yale plates and wrote "F*ck it" on the back, and Calloway later claimed that they were stolen.

The whereabouts of the Yale plates became a tongue-in-cheek internet obsession.

Beach revealed in The Cut that she ghostwrote both captions on Calloway's Instagram and the book proposal that sold for six figures.

She also revealed that Calloway's origin story is a lie, and that the influencer bought followers to help kickstart her literary career.

Calloway promised Beach 35% of the $375,000 advance, but she didn't see any money after she failed to fulfill the contract. Calloway was apparently battling an Adderall addiction, and while Beach reached out to the university and Calloway's mom for help, Calloway treated Beach like sh*t, and the relationship went sour after a fateful night in Amsterdam.

The two journeyed to Amsterdam ostensibly to see Van Gogh for Calloway's thesis, and later she locked Beach out of the Airbnb, leaving her on the street:

I pushed past her, shedding my filthy clothes in the hallway. “You have no idea what I went through last night,” I remember shrieking. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

She told me she assumed I was home with the bartender.

“This is what I tried to tell you,” I said, and for the first time I broke down. I stood in front of her in just my leggings and a bra, sobbing stupidly. “Men treat me differently than they treat you. Everyone does.” I collapsed into the rented bed. Caroline hovered over me, weeping too. “And the really messed up thing is that whole night I thought something terrible had happened to you,” I said. “But you forgot I existed.”

Calloway also once offered Beach her West Village apartment, only to renege on the deal and make Beach clean it up for Airbnb guests:

“Caroline, I don’t want to be your maid,” I told her the next day over Skype. “I’m sorry I can’t help you out, but can you ask someone else?”

“Oh no, Natalie, I would,” she said, her new boyfriend sitting supportively next to her. “It’s just, you’re the only one of my friends who needs the money badly enough to take the job.”

Beach wanted to complete the manuscript Calloway was contractually obligated to write, but Calloway gave up, and threatened suicide if Beach kept writing.

Back in L.A., I bought us time with the publishers by writing a quarter of the manuscript by myself, but Caroline hated it so much that she threatened suicide if I wrote anymore. After she said that, I pulled away and watched in real time on Instagram as she counted down the days until she missed the final deadline for her book contract. Caroline claimed her failure to write the manuscript was an intentional stand against the patriarchy and a publishing industry that insisted her life story be defined by the men she dated. Anyway. Her publisher asked her to return over $100,000. (Caroline says she’s continuing to work on a resolution with the publisher.)

Is Calloway a scammer?

Here's Beach's take:

If it was just money and fame she was after, all she had to do was be quiet and let me do the work. She could have been paid hundreds of thousands of dollars, gone on the tour she always wanted, and recorded the audiobook in that beguiling voice of hers. But she had to be the one to tell her own life story, even if she couldn’t. Caroline was caught between who she was and who she believed herself to be, which in the end may have been the most relatable thing about her. This is why, when people ask me if Caroline is a scammer, I try to explain that if she is, her first mark is always herself.

Calloway has read the article, and officially started trying to refute it.

Why should I care about these people?

You don't have to, as the Caroline Calloway saga likely has little bearing on your life, but it's a fascinating insight into the artifice of influencer culture and a toxic friendship that proves relationships don't have to be romantic to be abusive.

Read the full exposé over at The Cut.

Is there anything more anxiety-provoking than having a crush on someone and wondering if they like you back? Yes: if that person is also your roommate. This was the predicament of a 19-year-old girl whose story went viral on Twitter this week after she asked the internet to help her read her roommate's signals. To make things even more complicated, she doesn't know if her female roommate is gay or bi. So she turned to Reddit for advice, writing: "I (19f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. Help."

The 19-year-old, who is an out lesbian, explains that she has lived with her roommate for over a year after they met in high school. She says she's developed a "huge crush on her" but can't figure out if the roommate is flirting with her or not.

I've lived with my roommate for over a year now. We met in high school (a few classes) but we were never really friends. We worked on some projects together and that's it. I never really paid attention to her but she is SMOKING hot and I obviously knew she was and acknowledged it. We ended up going to the same college together though and decided since we know each other we should room together. She's a v lovely roommate but I've ended up developing a pretty huge crush on her after I started being in her company a lot (I'm a lesbian. I'm fully out. My roommate knows this). The problem is, I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not.

So she posted a long list of "instances" from the past year that may or may not be signs that the crush is mutual—everything from the roommate "staring at her intensely" to telling her she smells nice.

Please help me. I'll list some instances from the past year in no order that have stood out to me.

1. She said that we should make a list of each other's fave orders from a bunch of places so if we need to order for the other we can. I said sure that's good. Over the past few months, when I had a lot of things due and my anxiety was acting up, she kept paying for my fave order meals (usually we split money) and getting me them with very cute cards telling me good luck and stuff. When I tried to do it back she said "no, let me take care of you" and my small gay self collapsed.
2. Her baby niece came to visit once with her sister and she referred to me as "auntie's very special girl friend". I freaked but just laughed it off.
3. She gets me anything I say in passing I want or circle in any catalogue that I have. We don't have a lot of money but she keeps doing it because she says she wants me to be happy so I started doing it and now we're both kind of broke but have some sort of present buying stand off going on even currently.
4. She said I smell very very nice and hugged me once at home and didn't let go for a while, saying I smell like home and all things nice. When we split for the summer in the past few months, she texted me saying she misses the way I feel and smell with no regard for my gay heart. I said you smell nice too and she laughed about it. I never know how to respond.
5. She once held my hand while we were walking outside and she wanted to pull me along. She didn't let go until she had to, and since then whenever we go out, she holds my hand. I don't know if it's platonic.
6. I once fell asleep on my work and I woke up with my head in her lap and she was watching her laptop and stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. She said I looked peaceful so she didn't wake me. She also cuddled me when I was upset about a bad quiz grade and held me until I felt better.
7. While drunk, she looked at me and said that I looked like I wanted to kiss her and when I panicked she was like "I won't mind" but she was very very wasted and she forgot about it I think so I never brought it up.
8. She referred to me by my name for a few months, but now she almost exclusively calls me "baby". She asked me if it was okay and I was like yeah go for it and she was like thanks because I always refer to my friends like this. But SHE DOESNT. I've never heard her call anyone else baby. She also occasionally says "baby girl" and "cutie".
9. She said to me "why do you look so beautiful without trying" after I had rolled out of bed. I don't know what she meant.
10. She was sick a few months ago so I took care of her and she called me her "little nurse angel" and held my hand while sleeping, but she was so sick I don't think it counted.
11. She regularly sends me things that I like (fandoms she's not even in) or random posts and says "thinking about you" or "reminded me of you". She's also gotten into many of my interests, as i have into her interests. Now we're saving up for a convention based on a joint interest.
12. Past Valentines day this year, she texted me saying "You're my valentine" (as a joke?) and I said okay you're mine. She then gave me a stuffed animal, I had to scramble to buy her chocolates and then we went to go eat at my favourite takeout place. A guy also gave me a chocolate (we're friends) while she was with me and she said "don't steal my valentine now".
13. We weren't close for her first birthday freshly after we became roommates. We were closer for my birthday and she gave me a VERY expensive gift after working over time at shifts and she said "you deserve the best". Her birthday has JUST passed and I went all out, got her cake and presents and we went out to eat at her favourite place. She hugged me very very tight after and said that i make her happy.
14. She also regularly says "okay! it's a date" every time we make plans but that's a fairly common thing to say so I don't know if she means it literally.
15. This doesn't count but she looks at me very intensely sometimes. I don't know how to describe it but it doesn't look very platonic. But maybe she just does that to everyone so I don't know. She's a very intense person in general I think.

The 19-year-old's friends think her roommate "definitely" likes her, but she thinks the roommate is straight and all of the signs just point to her "friendliness."

This is all I can think of right now. If I'm forgetting anything, I'll probably edit this post. My friends think she definitely likes me and think I'm being stupid and oblivious on purpose. I just think she's straight and doing this out of friendliness so my friend asked me to post here and get a general consensus. She had a boyfriend in high school briefly and I'm afraid to ask her sexuality. I don't want to be let down but I want her to like me SO BAD, and I keep avoiding her sometimes and her friendliness because I don't want false hope. I know I probably sound stupid and in denial but I suffer from bad anxiety and I can't just go up and ask her unless I'm sure. I don't want to lose her. Please help.

Tl/dr: I am gay and my roommate keeps doing things that are toeing the line between being romantic and platonic. I don't know what she means. Advice needed

Most commenters on Reddit immediately concluded that, based on these signals, the roommate likes her back.

tesselode writes:

you're already dating and you just don't realize it yet

Sharkelberryfinn writes:

I couldn't read past number 5 without concluding that this girl totally likes you. How many of these things have you ever done for a platonic friend?!?

Just gals being pals.... Lol

And theredpanda__ writes:

All signs point to yes.

Maybe try acting the same way she does towards you? Hold her hand, be complimentary

grumpyoldowl shares her own, similar, experience, which ended in love!

God this is so impossibly sweet and my hopeless gay heart is really feeling for you. For context I had a roommate who had a nightmare one night, asked to sleep in my bed with me, and then never went back to sleeping in her own bed and it still took me MONTHS to figure out that she MIGHT be into me.

Surprise! She was.

I think you need to be honest with your roommate about how you're feeling, how her words and actions are affecting you. I can't promise it will go the way you want. She might be doing it because she's lonely, because she likes the attention she gets from you, because she enjoys the flirtation but doesn't want to commit to more. It's also possible that she's doing it because she's into you and thinks you trying to play it cool is precious (or because she's just as hopelessly trying to play it cool and can't tell that you're interested). But you won't know unless you ask. Do what you can to prepare your heart for whatever the outcome is. Try to figure out what boundaries you might need to set to keep yourself okay if the answer is no. But knowing for sure will let you either start to move on and find someone who really does feel something for you, or to finally get to lean in to an acknowledged relationship with this girl. Wishing you so much luck, please do update us on how it goes!

Screenshots of the original Reddit post were shared on Twitter, where they went viral, and tons of strangers got involved in the soon-to-be love story.

A LOT of people were thrilled when the woman updated her original post with some exciting news.

Here is her full update in which she shares that she invited her roommate to dinner to finally express her feelings.

By the time her roommate got home, she had already SEEN THE POST on Twitter and read the whole thing and all the replies. Luckily, she is bi and they are now "formally dating."

Here goes without going into a lot of gruesome details:

So I said we were going to talk over dinner. She came home and I made dinner (tried) and I said I wanted to talk to her and she was like "Is it about the post" and I was like hahahaha what post [thanks twitter] and she was like I already saw it [friend name] sent it to me on twitter and I was like hahahahah oh nooo.

Anyway it beat being awkward about it. We talked in detail. We are from an area where if someone is out as into women, everyone will know about it. That is why I didn't know whether she was bi or not. Turns out she is! Or has been figuring it out for the past few years. I honestly should have realised considering how much she thirsts over women in any media we consume, but I thought it was a joke. She said she likes both men and women and that she had been trying to flirt and put her feelings across to me from the things I mentioned in the post. She also said my post sounded like a meme and she thought it was a joke until she realised that it was me and I can be dense. She did say I could've just spoken to her before going to reddit but why would I do that you know? She also showed me her phone and her entire twitter search history was keywords related to my post where she was looking at the responses and laughing at them, both on reddit and twitter.

Anyway! We're formally dating! Thank you so much for your kind words and well wishes reddit. Hopefully I won't have to make another post!

While we're at it, can you guys give me any good date ideas? I'm not good with that kind of thing and I want some help and advice :D

tl/dr: I have a girlfriend. Thank you reddit.

The internet is almost as excited for this woman as she is herself.

Show this story to the next baby boomer who complains that the internet is preventing young people from connecting or finding love.

If you've ever been to a professional haunted house, you've experienced the blood-stained scarers, hired to jump out and make you pee yourself. They come dressed as ghosts, zombies, living dolls, clowns, and pretty much any terror you can conceive of.

While the whole point of bringing your friends to a haunted house is to freak yourself out, a lot of people are still unprepared for the elaborate shenanigans employees are hired to carry out. A well practiced goo-soaked goblin has timing and screams that penetrate the psyche of all the horror loving visitors.

In a recent Reddit thread, people who worked in haunted houses shared their most memorable experiences on the job, and the job sounds like delightful nightmare fuel.

1. ALasagnaForOne knows you can't trust the last room.

"The coolest room I ever worked in was very innocent-seeming at first. It was the last room in a "fairy tale" themed house. It looked like the inside of a little storybook cottage. Cutesy music was playing, there was a fake window with a meadow painted outside it. On a wall was a chalkboard and pieces of chalk available. The chalkboard was split down the middle by a line, said "Were you scared?" at the top and gave you the option to mark yes or no on one side of the line."

"That's where I came in. The chalkboard was actually a drop panel (essentially a hidden window that loudly slams open to reveal a cast member on the other side). I was painted up like a horrible, gory Snow White. When I'd drop the panel, it also triggered all the lights in the room to go out except for blacklights which revealed hidden evil drawings all over the walls and an air cannon would blast people from behind, making them feel like something was touching them."

"It was just the best room because people felt safe, they finally let their guard down when they saw this cheerful space and when they went to put a mark on the chalkboard, often bragging to their friends "That wasn't scary", that's when BANG! Black out, satanic scrawlings everywhere, air cannon smacking their heads and Evil Snow White was cackling in their faces all in the span of 1 second. They always ran out shrieking bloody murder. Never trust the last room."

2. OneMillionDandelions witnessed a woman overcome by grim reapers.

"All-volunteer haunted house and one year we have like 10 teen guys show up dressed as the Grim Reaper. OK, well, hm... the organizers decide to put them all together in a corridor and make people walk a gauntlet through menacing scythes."

"This one young woman is really freaked out as she edges through the rooms; senses on high alert, visibly shaking. As a living mannequin, I decide to just say a quiet “good eeevening” which sends her scrambling away from me into the Reapers’ corridor. They all converge eagerly, scythes flashing-

-and she shrieks and drops like her strings got cut. She’s passed out cold."

"All the Grim Reapers are standing over her uncertainly, shocked. Then from one skull comes a wavering, really worried: “Oh, shit. We killed her.”

3. yesmaxiemax made a guy sh*t himself.

"Had a dude once come through, jumped a bloody mile in the air when I scared him. He just stopped with this far off look and said "I just sh*t myself" I stayed in character til the smell hit me. I broke and asked if he wanted an escort, dude seemed to snap out of it and said "nah, I pinched the rest back" and off he marched."

4. Initial-ew loved scaring people.

"Worked at a haunted house when I was younger as a youth job, it was a lot of fun. I had to sit in this narrow hallway in a doll costume and sit perfectly still, then when people passed me I would suddenly move, making it look like I was trying to grab them, and do my best creepy voice saying stuff like "come play with me" or "stay with me, FOREVER". I got some great reactions, though some stand out more in my memory."

"The dude that tried to scootch by the opposed wall while muttering "nope, nope, noPE, NOPE" and when I reached for him, he did this weird jump thing, the kind you see cats doing in videos while yelling "FUCK NO ANNABELLE LOOKING B*TCH".

"Then there was this group of dude bro looking guys that were one hundred percent sure I was a human sized doll, spending the whole walk down the hallway saying stuff like "that shit isn't that scary, it doesn't even look very life-like", weren't they surprised!

God being a scarer was fun, 10/10 would do again"

5. A19C89 has a resume full of horror.

"I've been scaring off and on for years, so there are a lot.

I worked as a generic scarer where my creepy makeup was having one of my eyes blown out. So I had mountains of goo on my face every night. A guy got freaked out and basically face-palmed me right in my fake non-eye. He then looked down at his hand covered in sticky fake blood and gore, gagged, and said "Oh God." Ran out of the exit."

"I was a scary clown at a different haunt. Had a very loud horn rigged to a power drill. Think of a cartoon "Ah-oogah" type thing. A few rooms back, we had a first-night volunteer who, imo, was kind of a dick to do this because you're interfering with the enjoyment of other people going through the house since you're not in your place/are rushing them through where they're going to run into others, but w/e. He has a person in this group freaked out and decides to chase them out of the rest of the house with his chainsaw. They come into my room. I go to hop out with my horn, essentially trapping them between a scary clown and a maniac with a chainsaw. It all happened in a split second, and the end result was that I got full-on decked right in the ear. Fight or flight is no joke. They felt really bad about it and apologized a ton. Most people who hit you do."

"Same scary clown. Less of a fear reaction, more of a wtf. My makeup was bloody and gross and I wore tooth stain, so my teeth looked rotten and disgusting. All this to say that there was nothing sexy about me in my makeup. Guy comes through acting macho with his girlfriend. He looks at me, makes an "mm" face, and says something along the lines of, "Oh baby, you are so damn sexy." Number one rule in haunting: if you can't scare them, entertain them. So I fell right out of creepy mode and blew him a flirty kiss complete with a rotten-teeth smile. Girlfriend immediately freaks the fuck out on me. Starts calling me a b*tch and telling me to leave her boyfriend alone or she'd kick my ass. I reiterate that I'm covered in blood, gore, and essentially have faux meth teeth. I'm not exactly sure where the threat was there, but I was glad to be behind the clown cage bars for that one."

"Simple one. Regular old jump scare. Lady screams, makes an oh no face, then quietly says, "I just... peed on myself."

-"Volunteered one night at the haunt set up in the Mansfield Reformatory. (As an aside, scaring people in an actual haunted prison is amazing, 10/10, would do again.) Ended up as a corpse in the "morgue." I'd been given some mouth blood earlier on in the night because I wanted to have some oozing down my chin. This stuff was almost black. Very gross-looking. I didn't need the full tiny cup I'd been given to complete my look, so for kicks, I took it with me to my room and hid it with my water and stuff. Realized it was getting late and asked for the time."

"Very likely next group coming through was going to be the last, so I took the blood, tipped it back into my mouth and waited. This was one of those houses where you could touch people if they paid extra, and lo and behold, the last group is just two burly dudes without a care in the world, and they're wearing the "you can touch me" glow necklaces. My friend/other person in the room knew what I was doing and just sort of lurked creepily to let me do the thing."

"I approached, put my arms on the shoulders of one guy to stop them. "What does she want?" friend asked. And that's when I proceeded to let this torrent of black blood gush out of my mouth, all down my face and the front of my hospital gown. "Jesus fucking Christ." Golden.

I'm sure I have more stories I'm not thinking of right now, but there's some I remember (mostly) fondly. lol"

6. rico0195 ganged up on a woman with the help of her friends.

"Maybe 5-6 years ago I worked at an amusement park that converts much of the park into multiple haunted houses. I worked in the area that was a haunted butcher shop, I was in a room that was supposed to be where everything got gutted and the wall had this thick fake gore with a person shaped outline. I wore a suit that had the same fake gore on the front. In the dark light I was practically invisible."

"One girl was on her phone and totally not paying attention, but her friends saw right through my camouflage and motioned for me to hop in line behind their friend. I followed them for a little ways and finally this chick looks up from her phone and starts to turn to talk to her friend, not realizing that I was mere inches behind her. She turns and were close enough that I can see her pupils as they widen. She jumped probably a foot in the air and sprinted through the rest of the maze. Her friends couldn't stop laughing on the way out."

7. GAdvance misses being a scarer.

"I did a bit of time as a scarer when I was 15 and a decade later it's still my favourite job I've had despite it being a fully costumed 6+ hours in near darkness with no break. A good 20% of the time I had punters fully convinced i was animatronic and the moment where you moved suddenly times just with them shit talking was absolutely the best."

"In particular I remember a guy who was poking stuff and laughing whilst his girlfriend was kind of scared in general trying to poke through a cage I was in at me. Reacted like a robot for long enough that he got bored and just as he went to go I grabbed his fingers, started waving a knife around like mad and pressed a foot pedal for some sounds."

"6 foot plus guy ran out back towards the entrance screaming and my manager came back in to have a laugh, we actually shut down for 20 minutes or so because the guys raving in the lobby caused so much fuss, some thought he was a paid actor, kids started crying and the line doubled up."

8. TheLighterSideOfLife got a personalized horror experience.

"I actually knew a couple of the actors in a Fright Night event at a farm about an hour away and, when I entered the first of like 12 scares, I tried to comfort my older brother by saying, "It's okay [brother's name]." and putting my hands on his shoulders."

"One of the actors heard me say this, unfortunately for my brother, and followed us for the entire scare, screeching his name at every turn. Even I was shitting myself. He didn't partake in any of the other scares, needless to say."

9. copycat217 haunted an aircraft carrier.

"So I worked as a scare actor at a haunt on an old aircraft carrier from WWII for a couple of years. There were two parts to the haunt, one below deck in what was called 'sick bay' which was mainly the ship itself being old and creepy. Up top was the more traditional halloween haunt maze with themed rooms and chainsaw guys. Normally I worked in sick bay, but that night I was put in the maze. I was in the bathroom themed room and was the victim of the deranged plumber actor. So I'm sprawled out on the floor and when people walk by, I lunge and groan and beg for help. It worked pretty well."

"Then this one woman came in wearing high heels. I don't know who wears high heels to a haunted house on an aircraft carrier but hey, you do you. Anyways she doesn't see me on the ground and manages to step on my arm with her heels. I know we had strict rules about not touching the patrons, but due to the pain/surprise, I wasn't thinking, and I grabbed her ankle in hopes to get her off me. This lady screamed and bolted for the emergency exit hallway that would take her out of the haunt, leaving her friend behind and dumbfounded. I felt terrible at the time that she missed out on the rest of the haunt but now I laugh about it because I really scared her."

"Different haunt for valentines day in a defunct mall. It was set up in a vacant department store, and my room had one of those pillars with a mirror on it. The room was set up like a bedroom, with an actual four poster bed. There was ample room to hide behind the pillar and jump out at people, and people expected this. I'd often see people think they were being clever and trying to get the drop on me. I, however, was lying on top of the canopy for the four poster bed. There was a wooden board up there strong enough to support me and keep me out of sight. They'd fail to find anyone behind the pillar, turn, and then I lunged at them from the canopy and they'd scream.

I really loved that job."

10. suestrong315 got married to a fellow scarer.

"I worked for a rather popular haunted house/hayride/corn field. It's made the Travel Channel shows a few times."

"So my now-husband and I were supposed to be dead cow folk in a wild west scene. The way it was set up is the ppl walk in through a big opening in the front, there are two "buildings" on either side where two actors should set off the scene. After that, the ppl walk around a stable-like fenced off enclosure which put them in this narrow-ish corridor where I and my husband were. I was on a barrel, he was lying under the fence."

"From there, the area would open up just a little with a blacksmith (the dude was actually a blacksmith, he'd spend the night making cool shit and we'd warm up by the fire while we waited for groups) there was an emergency exit that was part of the scenery, the firing thing (I can't remember what it's called lol sorry) and then the entrance to the "Mine shaft". The entire walk through was maybe 40ft. Oh, and it was always really dark. Our main source of light was the fire from the blacksmith and nearby hayride. Other than that, we had a few very dimly lit light bulbs."

"So one night, we were doing our thing, scaring people and what not, when this kid comes BOOKING it through the scene. He's all alone and just f*cking terrified. I mentioned the emergency exit bc if someone ever said "I can't do this, I want out" we'd have to exit character (the only time we were allowed to) and escort them out. So this kid is hauling ass, idk if he got separated from his group and was trying to find them or if he said f*ck this and wanted to just hurry out or what but he gave us about a second to try to scare him as he flashed past us. Well, the ground was uneven and I think a little damp and he slipped and fell and slid to a stop against a barrel right by the exit door."

"My husband and I are like oh sh*t. We walk over to him and he's lying on the ground, panting hard, staring up at us with sheer terror in his eyes. I'm like "for real, dude, not playing. Are you ok?" And he quickly nods, eyes still bugging out and looking between us. I'm like "you sure? Do you need to leave?" He takes a second, looks at us again and shakes his head. I look at my husband and then back at this kid and scream "THEN GET UP AND GET THE HELL OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OOOOOOOOUTTT!!!!!" that kid jumped up like he had rockets strapped to his back and f*cking hauled ass into the mine shaft, leaving me and my husband rolling.

Good times..."

11. CarolinaFiasco was a professional zombie.

"Not a haunted house, but a zombie run. I was the last zombie before you could escape.

I’m 4ft 11. I look pretty weak and I wear glasses (which I had fixed with tape as part of my costume - I was supposed to have been a medic before I became a zombie). Despite how I look, I have a very loud voice, am good at screaming and I’m a good runner."

"My job was to mill about near the end of the course, and catch (and tag as infected) anyone I felt like. I used to approach or look distracted as people crept towards me - not all zombies attacked, so people weren’t sure how to deal with me (plus there were some who had acquired ‘zombie repellent’ and were quite confident - spoiler: zombie repellent doesn’t work). I’d wait until they had just passed me before unleashing an unholy scream and sprinting after them."

"I caught quite a few, but the best reactions were a fully grown man who cried actual tears and asked for his mum, and a girl who pissed herself, then threw her water bottle at me.

It was a lot of fun, and all the screaming was quite a good core workout. My abs were agony for days after."

12. sn0qualmie is a living mirror.

"I volunteer as a wall of spooky living mirrors in a little family-friendly haunted house for a couple of nights every Halloween season. Basically, I poke my hands and a plastic skull through panels of stretchy silver fabric while kids are walking by. The best are the kids who are brave enough to announce that they know it's not real, it's just someone behind the wall, and to try to grab me through the fabric...but not fast enough to get their hands away before I grab back. Turns out that even if you're feeling brave, you still screech when a mirror grabs your fingers and tugs."

13. Hobblit has smelled a lot of fear piss.

"I worked at a haunted house that used to be a slaughterhouse that many believed was actually haunted. I worked in a room that was a pitch black winding corridor with many secret doors so I could get 4 scares on a group by myself."

"At the end we have moving floors (plywood with balls under them) that are very loud when you step on them and shift slightly, making most people look down even though it's pitch black."

"My favorite scare would be to sit at the end of the hallway, wait to hear them touch the first moving floor (audio queues were important), then click on my flashlight, point it up at my face (I wore a 3 headed clown mask) and just fucking charge at them. So you now you have a creepy looking clown guy charging at you, the moving floor is making the footsteps into really loud bangs, and you can't go anywhere since your hands are on the walls guiding you through the darkness and your group is behind you blocking your escape. The dread you see on some of these tough guy group leaders is hilarious. I get as close as I can, shut the light off, and just silently walk backwards and disappear through another door."

"The amount of people that pissed themselves on that scare was astounding. I had only even made 2 people piss before I thought of doing that. Then I got my number to 7 in the last couple weeks of the season."

14. Dredgen_Recyclops played Freddy Krueger too well.

"Buckle up because this is a bit of a long one. Back in I think 2006 or 2007 I was working at a haunted house playing Freddy Krueger in one of the first rooms in the haunt. We had radios in all the rooms we would use to call out when we had a guest that screamed more than normal. Now I had the room set up so that the Elm Street sign was maybe 3 feet away from the door, and an old boiler I could hide behind and pop out of combined with an actual metal (but dulled) prop glove."

"This lady and her kids walk in and I popped out but I hit the glove on the boiler at just the right angle so some sparks popped from the metal on metal contact. The lady freaked out, fainted and hit her head in the pole holding the street sign. The lights in the building had to be cut on, ambulance called, the whole nine yards. She was bleeding but wasn’t seriously hurt and somehow didn’t sue the ever loving f*ck out of us. They did take away my metal glove and replaced it with a plastic one that broke within 10 minutes of doing my bit though. Absolute funniest thing that ever happened to me while I was there."

More blonde-on-blonde crime, and it's time, it's the Battle of the Entitled Daughters!

A new Atlantic cover story dives deep into theSuccession-style battle between Ivanka and Donald Jr. to become the heir to Trump's MAGA brand. According to the article, both siblings are planting stories about one another in the media, like a high-stakes episode of Even Stevens. The piece concludes with the argument that while Ivanka has long been Donald Trump's favorite, Don Jr. is a more likely heir because of his ability to emanate sexism, racism, and sleaziness that the MAGA base demands.

The View hosts sounded off on the show, with nepotism hires Abby Huntsman and Meghan McCain offering their views on their fellow entitled schmucks. Huntsman feels sympathy for Ivanka, and went as far as assuming without evidence that she disagrees with her dad's kid caging administration.

McCain, on the other hand, said, "No offense, they crashed my dad’s funeral. They get nothing from me," referring to the time when Ivanka and Jared Kushner showed up at the service for the late senator John McCain.

"They're not good people," McCain put succinctly.

While no Trumps were invited to the funeral by the family, it was reported that the grifters were invited by Senator Lindsey Graham. Donald Trump attacked John McCain relentlessly, making fun of his military service and implying that he is rotting in hell.

With everything going on in the world, the White House still decided to dedicate resources to respond to this View segment, in a statement toPeople magazine.

"The idea that the hosts of The View or a reporter at The Atlantic have any factual reads on what goes on within the Trump family is completely asinine," said spokeswoman Jessica Ditto.

Remember waiting for your mom to get off the phone so you could use the dial-up internet? Or waking up early on Saturday to watch Saturday morning cartoons? Or going outside? Or not having anxiety and depression? I do. But kids today are growing up in a very different world. They have access to all kinds of cool things that we missed out on—like streaming television and iPads and early on-set anxiety disorders. But they're missing out on a lot of things, too.

Someone started the #ThingsTodaysKidsCantDo hashtag on Twitter today and it's got everyone reminiscing about the activities from our childhoods that kids born in the 19th century can't do and probably wouldn't understand.

Here are 25 highlights (omg remember Highlights???)

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"Laughter is an instant vacation."

-Milton Berle

Book a trip to the exciting world of memes! It's free and you won't have to use any of your precious vacation days.

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...Did Trump forget Barron was his son?

Sure, everyone says the wrong words every now and then, but this one is pretty hysterical. We all know President Trump wasn't particularly involved in the birth of Barron considering he was partaking in extramarital Shark Week sex with porn star, Stormy Daniels, but we at the very least thought he remembers that he's related.

In a warning about the dangers of the vaping trend, it was unclear if Trump even knew what vaping is. The FDA is banning flavored e-cigarettes as they're targeted mostly toward youths and this is definitely a good move made by the Trump administration. However, Trump simply referenced vaping as "not a wonderful thing," which is a description that could really be about anything that is hurting the American people. When he elaborated, he used Melania's concern for "her" son and then tried to cover it up with a "together."

"She's got a son--together--that is a beautiful young man." Well I guess we know Barron is his son since, like Ivanka, he referred to him as beautiful...

Even Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah weighed in.

Naturally, the joke was not lost on the internet...

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Yesterday marked the 18th anniversary of the tragic 9/11 attacks. So, in remembrance, a lot of people shared stories, memories, and tributes to the people killed by the attack.

It's fairly regular practice to look to political leadership for wise or empathetic words on days commemorating national tragedy. However, (unsurprisingly) Trump's track record when it comes to 9/11 is less than tactful.

Last year, Trump fist pumped on his way to a memorial service at the site of the plane crashes. He has also, in the past, brought up 9/11 to brag about his ratings which is truly another level of disregard and narcissism.

This year, an old clip of Trump resurfaced, and it fits neatly into his history of 9/11 gaffes. The clip features a pre-presidential Trump calling into New Jersey’s local TV channel WWOR just hours after the attack.

In the 2011 call, Trump was asked about the proximity of one of his buildings to the attacks. In response, Trump bragged about how his building was now the tallest in downtown Manhattan.

"40 Wall Street actually was the second tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Centre, was the tallest. And then, when they built the World Trade Centre, it became known as the second tallest. Now it’s the tallest. I have a window that looks directly at the World Trade Centre, and I saw this huge explosion. I really couldn’t even believe it. Now, I’m looking at absolutely nothing. It’s just gone. It’s just hard to believe"

The clip's resurfacing garnered a lot of responses, mostly frustration at the fact that Americans voted this man into office.

To many, Trump's 2011 soundbite further confirms the character we've seen him display in office.

Needless to say, Trump has proven himself to be deeply disconnected from the proper ways to respond to a tragedy on scale with 9/11.

Kristin Cavallari's attempt at a 9/11 memorial instagram post was just a thirst trap...

The former star of "The Hills" is getting seriously dragged for a leggy, plunging neckline tribute to the victim's of 9/11 that is staggeringly tone deaf.

The original caption to the post was: "NYC for 24hrs. And what a time to be here…always remember.” According to People, a source said the post was scheduled for Tuesday morning, but, "then an employee took it upon herself to post it Wednesday with her own caption." The social media manager has since been fired.

While there are varying philosophies on the classiest way to mention a tragedy while also respecting it on social media, a glamour shot is probably not the best tribute. Immediately, the instagram comments flooded in:

"jboydjackson1" wrote:

Oh so wrong.

"fridah007" wrote:

Remembering 9/11............ and to buy Prada shoes

"allthestarsaremine" wrote:

Still so tone deaf that all she does is change the caption instead of take the whole post down.... 🤦🏼‍♀️

"jdponshock" wrote:

Wrong picture for the sentiment of this post.

"Binkthink" wrote:

Felt cute might make it about 9/11 later.

"emileeandkayleecallmemommy" wrote:

You're gorgeous, but maybe this picture is not the right one for today. All those people that lost their loved ones don't care how hot you look, today.

Better luck next time, Kristin!