Weddings are insanely expensive. Some people avoid these costs by eloping, doing a low-key ceremony at City Hall, or just saying "screw it!" to the quest for love and getting a dog (highly recommend #3). Then there are those people who decide to do a traditional wedding, but try to shirk the costs by insisting people work for them for free. This last option is a great way to alienate your friends, family and acquaintances, and to go viral on Reddit.

In the latest episode of choosy beggar brides, a photographer shared screenshots of a conversation she had with a former schoolmate who reached out and asked her to attend, and also photograph, her wedding. For free.

Things started out innocently enough.

But when the photographer asked for a deposit, the bride responded that she "assumed" she "wouldn't need to pay a single thing" considering her and the photographer were "best mates in school."

The bride added that the photographer didn't pay X, who turns out to be the photographer's sister. The photographer responds by explaining that she photographed her sister's wedding as a gift and even then, her sister paid for her hotel room and drinks all night.

Beggar bridezillas don't tend to react well when they don't get what they want, and this one is no exception.

After the photographer explained that being friends in school doesn't mean she owes the bride any "freebies," the bride threw a fit, telling her to "f*ck off," disinviting her from the wedding, and then topping it off by calling her a "fat bitch."

The photographer responded by thanking the bride and telling her to have a "lovely day!" This was the perfect way to handle this, since nothing enrages an already-angry sociopath like refusing to engage with their bullshit.

Commenters on Reddit are dragging the bride for her terrible, yet unfortunately all-too-common, behavior.

HarryPottersOwl writes:

“But you didn’t charge your sister!” Wtf is wrong with people.

The_Champ99 writes:

From "Best mates" to "fat bitch" real quick

togadiz adds:

Ridiculous. You even gave her a friends and family discount, and based on the deposit, probably weren’t charging nearly enough. What an ungrateful twatwaffle.

And whenfaithdies has a prediction:

Let's see how quick she comes running back to you, when she realises, how expensive other wedding photographers are

CryoClone, a wise owl, sees the silver lining in this type of interaction:

As I've grown older, I really appreciate people who treat me like this. Truly. My mind just goes "ah, sweet. One less person I have to pretend to give a shit about if I see them in public."

Eventually, you are rid of all the chaff and are stuck with only people you would actually enjoy seeing on places and catching up with. Throw out the chaff.

arvhult agrees, writing:

Freaking this. I recently got rid of a longtime "friend" that has always been treating me like shit and with disrespect, and I realized I am so much happier now.

IN CONCLUSION: next time someone you once called a "friend" treats you like dirt, thank them for showing you their true colors so you can Marie Kondo them right out of your life like a pair of old underwear that no longer sparks joy.

Confiding in your spouse or partner about your sexual identity or preferences can be difficult.

A major part of being in a romantic relationship is supporting your partner emotionally. If you're scared to tell the person you love something about yourself and your identity, it takes a lot of strength to confide in them even if they're someone you fully trust.

When a recent Reddit user consulted the moral compass of the internet's underbelly (The "Am I the As*hole?) section about a fight he recently had with his wife after she came out as bisexual to him, people were quick to offer him advice (and also tell him he fully messed up).

AITA for saying “okay so what” when my wife told me she’s bisexual

Tonight we were sitting on the sofa watching a re run of a spring training game, and my wife randomly goes “honey, I think I’m bisexual”. I was pretty surprised and wasn’t really expecting to hear that, especially with no preface. I sat there for a second and then said “okay, so what”. She then says “so I’m bisexual”.

Now I’m not entirely sure how I said the next but but I’ll try and get it as close to the original phrasing. I said something like “okay I understand that but I don’t know what you want me to do with that information. What are you going to do, watch a whole lot of lesbian porn? Knock yourself out”.

She got pissed off and said “fine then” and got up and went into the bedroom. I then(somewhat stupidly) said “have fun” and she shut the door. I tried to talk to her just now but she was pretty much silent and didn’t really say anything.

Was I an asshole?

Yikes, this man is 100% sleeping on the couch for awhile. "Watch a whole lot of lesbian porn?" What a limited understanding of bisexuality!

Luckily, people were ready to help...

"KULibrarian" wrote:

So she told you - the person she married - something pretty personal about herself and her sexuality, something it sounds like she only figured out fairly recently and therefore may be kinda confusing or scary, and your response was "so what?"

And then, rather than clarifying your crappy initial reaction into one of support, you decide to further dismiss her and make belittling jokes?

"mikeyj198" wrote:

The woman you love expressed something she likely couldn’t confide in anyone else and you blow her off?

If I were you I would apologize to her and tell her this is hard for you but you want to hear her talk and listen to what she has to say.

Once you get to that, you will know better what your next move is.

"corpusdelectable" wrote:

I mean, if that is your reaction to something that it probably took your wife a lot of soul-searching and internal conflict to dig through, no wonder she's pissed. You can say 'so what?' in the sense of 'okay, that doesn't change anything', but instead you followed with 'what are you going to do now, what a bunch of lesbian porn?' as if that was the only thing that was any any value in relation to her statement. A little compassion and invitation for her to talk about her decision would have gone a long way. Instead, you you flippant and then shocked when she reacted negatively to your trite answer.

Communication is key to any good relationship. You shut her down when she revealed something deeply personal to continue watching a rerun of a show you've seen before. Nice job.

However...

"SAUbjj" wrote:

As a bisexual woman, if I came out to a partner and they said "Okay, so what?", I think I'd be pretty happy. I've had a lot of experiences where people start to gatekeep bisexuality, asking about my previous experiences ("but how do you know?"), plans for the future ("but how would you choose?"). "Okay, so what?" acknowledges that she's still the same person and your opinion of her hasn't changed at all.

I'm guessing she was hoping for some excitement, like, "I'm glad you've learned this about yourself!" but I don't understand why she was upset with what you said.

"v7v7v7" wrote:

Unless you are in an open marriage or something like that, I completely agree, why does it matter? You two are married, so it is assumed that you two are exclusive to each other and it shouldn’t matter who else she is attracted to since you are already married. The only way it would be a big deal is if she was trying to use it to get out of the marriage and use a negative reaction from you to establish fault.

And "bohner941" wrote:

You are getting alot of you are the as*hole but honestly what was your response supposed to be? I would have no clue what to say in that situation. Like oh you are attracted to men and women but you are in a committed relationship with me and nothing is going to change so who cares, you can find who you want attractive. Are you supposed to say you are proud of her for something she can't control and encourage her to go and cheat on you to explore her sexuality?

So, there you have it! These situations are complicated and if your spouse ever opens up to you about something personal, it's probably best not to crack jokes and instead, offer your support.

Sure, it probably doesn't matter in the grand scheme of their marriage if they're monogamous, but it did probably take a lot of courage to admit that about herself to her partner and he should've been more receptive.

"When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch."

-Bette Davis

We all know being a woman ain't always easy. Sometimes you just have to laugh at all the things the world slings your way on a daily basis. These memes are hilariously relatable for all of us ladies just trying to get by.

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We all want our friendships to last forever so we can grow old and live together like the Golden Girls. But sometimes you realize a friend is not exactly who you thought they were and you have to GTFO of that friendship faster than you can say "multi-level marketing scheme." Cutting a toxic friend out of your life can be hard, especially when they make great margaritas, but it's worth it for your happiness and sanity. And besides, now you'll have time to get coffee with Vanessa from Zumba or play pool with Dave from work. Because when it comes to friendship, there really are plenty of fish in the sea. And most of those fish won't try to sleep with your boyfriend.

Someone asked Reddit: "what did a former friend do that instantly changed your opinion of them?" These 25 people share the tipping point that made them cut a former friend out of their life:

1.) From melston9380:

Borrowed a vehicle for a week - returned it full of trash with both door handles broken, and stinking of smoke. When I asked him about it, he said he didn't have time to clean up the mess, and his kid broke the handles, not him. We didn't talk much after that.

2.) From Bxwitched161:

She asked me to lunch under the guise of “catching up” but it was actually just to recruit me for an MLM. A random dude showed up with a power point presentation and everything. I left and never spoke to her again.

3.) From Good-Lettuce:

How they treated their wife when they didn't think anyone was listening.

4.) From inacti:

After overhearing (via eavesdropping) my new, slightly higher salary: he decided that meant I should loan him money since I was “rich” from a job I wouldn’t start for a month.

When I refused to do this, he texted me while I was having dinner with my new coworkers that he’d always secretly hated me and knew I hated him. And a bunch of other manipulative bs.

I did not hate him prior to this.

Suffice to say I cut him out of my life and show that text to any unfortunate mutual friends that believe his sob story about how I’m an asshole. They usually cut contact with him after reading it lol

5.) From Jenova66:

An old friend once showed up at my house the night he found out the girl I was sort of dating was also hooking up with my other friend. He brought a bottle of whiskey and told it to me straight even though the other guy was his best friend. We weren’t actually that close before that but it was a solid thing to do and our mutual friend was fully aware what he was doing.

I guess that’s a two for one.

6.) From BustAMove_13:

I had two best friends that hated each other. C was fine with me hanging out with L, but L hated when I hung out with C. I made sure their paths never crossed to keep the peace. One random night L gave me an ultimatum...L or C. So I chose C because who the fuck do you think you are? 25 years later and I'm still really good friends with C. Don't give me ultimatums.

7.) From DeathsDesign72:

Was close friends throughout high-school. Even got one of his drawings as a tattoo. Lost touch after HS. Found him and emailed him about 15 yrs later. His reply, 'Hi DD, glad things are going well. Let me tell you about this great product I'm lucky enough to be able to offer people like you.". It went on an on, a pyramid scheme. I never wrote back. Sucks. I missed him.

8.) From CockDaddyKaren:

Hey 👋👋👋👋👋 BABE 👄💋 heard your mom 🤰🤰 died 💀👻 last week, really suxxxxxx lol, anyway I was wondering if you'd be interested in my new ‼️ MEGA TENTACLE 🦑 DILDO 🍆 ?! To help fill the ACHING 💥 HOLE ⚫️ left by losing a loved one! ⚰️💀 The tentacles are XXXXXTRA FLOPPY 🍌🌶 and if you purchase 10 sets you receive a FREE 💸💸 BODY PILLOW!! 🕺🏽

9.) From perscoot:

We were coworkers at the time, and I put a lot of trust in her. I was new and constantly getting shit from higher ups over things I was 'supposed to know' without having ever been told. She was my 'team lead', and told me I could lean on her and ask for help any time. Everyone on the team called her 'mama bear'. I vented and confided about work to her a lot, and she listened and gave me advice.

The shit from the higher ups only got worse. I talked to her more and more. Work started really getting me down about myself, and stressed me out because I knew I was losing my job soon, and I had no idea why I was getting crap when I'd bent over backwards and worked long (unpaid) hours to pick up my apparent slack.

It took one of my other coworkers pulling me into her office, closing the door, and telling me to my face, "You're trusting the wrong people here. Stop telling anyone anything." And then she told me all the crap that the gossip mill had going about me. Things that I had only told 'Mama Bear'. It turned out the 'bitches' of the group... were the only ones not going around making up drama and bullshit, and had been trying to get me to open my eyes for months.

I was so floored and betrayed. I started crying on the spot, but Other Coworker told me to "Dry that up and don't let them know they got to you. Hold your chin up and pretend everything is great until you can get out of here."

I did just that, pretended I never found out just WHO was telling upper management that I wasn't cut out, wasn't putting in the work, wasn't getting along with the rest of the team (which had been true.... a year earlier, but then we all got along great) and any time 'Mama Bear' came to me asking if I wanted to talk... I told her nope! I'm good, but thanks! :)

Last time I saw her I was still smiling to her face, telling her I was sad to not be working with her anymore, and I'd miss her... Bitch. Hope she chokes on her second face.

10.) From ArcaninesFirepower:

I had a friend that I knew was dumb, but I wasn't sure how dumb. Then he pulled a gun on my wife as a joke. I almost killed him when I found out.

11.) From Bobbinapplestoo:

Ditched me at a bar after someone punched me. He thought i was going to call the police on the venue so he insisted he take my phone. It took me 2 weeks to get my phone back, and his dad was the one who gave it to me - which I only was able to do because I called my own phone myself, since the "friend" in question ghosted me.

Needless to say, fuck that guy.

12.) From PNW_Bro:

Had an old friend that got into drugs. I shipped out to the military, and hadn’t heard from him in a few years. Apparently he was sent to rehab down in California. I was at the gym in Kansas one day working out, and I received a message from him that he needed $100, because he lost his wallet and phone. So being a good guy, and he’d never asked me for money before, I wire transferred him some, to help him out. Turns out I actually helped him escape rehab, and the whole thing was a lie.

He’s doing better now I hear, but it didn’t sit well with me, and made me feel guilty for helping him escape, and disappoint his family.

I’ve pretty much cut all ties of communication with him. Drugs change people it’s crazy.

13.) From striderpancakes:

Told me that he fantasized about raping one of our mutuals, and to make it worse, he said this WHILE she was sitting with us.

14.) From TspkZ:

Was at an 18th birthday party. My boyfriend at the time left early because he had to work the next day, but my 'friend' told me he had lied to me and gone home with another girl. I was quite drunk and impressionable as a result and got quiet upset. Then she suggested I should hook up with one of her older male friends as revenge.

I eventually got a lift back to his place and found out it wasn't true. His mum had picked him up from the party and he was asleep in his own bed. Turns out she also liked my boyfriend and was trying to break us up to she could take a shot at him.

15.) From SlydeOfHand:

Borrowed money to pay his college tuition because he was in a bind to pay for his last semester. Promises to pay me back as soon as he can.

Buys a new car and another laptop the following week. Needless to say I was never paid back.

16.) From zzoom_zoom:

I told her that I was planning on escaping my narcissistic abusive parents, and she goes to tell them that I was planning on leaving...all because she wanted to be able to stay near me. I still managed to get out of that situation, but she made my life very difficult and later tried to pin the blame on me. She also managed to convince a bunch of her friends to harass my sister for details on my current whereabouts. Wherever you are right now Lisa, fuck you :)

17.) From BadLuckBaskin:

Friend A was out of work. I had another friend, Friend B, willing to give Friend A a job instantly. No application or interview required. Passed along the contact info to Friend A to talk to Friend B.

Crickets....

Guy had no money for rent and basically stiffed his roommate who he was renting from for MONTHS! Said he would claim squatters rights if he had to. Still always had weed though!

Really showed me how lazy and selfish he really was. Stopped hanging out with that group as a whole shortly thereafter.

18.) From justalurkerkthxbai:

Skipped my brother’s wake to go out drinking.

19.) From TheRealLamers:

I told my friend my Mum had cancer and his exact words were,

“A lot of people you know are going to get cancer so you might as well get over it.”

20.) From carsntools:

Killed his roommate

21.) From GumbieX:

Sent a dick pic to my sons mom while we were together

22.) From doiknowyoubro:

This guy presented himself as the perfect boy-next-door. He was cute, had good grades, went to a private Christian school and he had the perfect poster family. He was impossible not to like on the outside.

And then, on the other hand, I had this other friend who had pretty bad OCD and was just all-around socially awkward. She was really sweet at heart but you really had to think through everything you said to her to make sure she didn't take it the wrong way.

I had a class with both of these friends. The girl had a crush on someone else in the class who sat nearby and made it pretty obvious. She left the room one day and suddenly my do-no-wrong friend started expressing his "sympathy" for the guy she had a crush on. He was saying shit like "oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that" and "I'll pray for you at my church"

The second I try to defend the girl, I'm turned into some sort of social outcast :/

23.) From DuckDuckCowboy:

Went to brunch and he started hitting on the waitress hard. It was really uncomfortable and she was clearly not into it, but he wouldn't quit. After that I noticed how he treated other people and it was bad, don't talk to him anymore.

24.) From gooselicks:

He tried to get my gf to cheat on me with him as he is better looking than I am (I’m a nerd, he was one of my old high school’s popular students). Plus, my gf is a cheerleader, and he said that she “doesn’t deserve a boyfriend who’s nerdy like me”. Luckily, she is super loyal and honest so she told me right away about it. I haven’t spoken with him in several years now. He tries to text me every now and then saying he’s sorry and what not, but I don’t care. I have other/better close friends.

25.) From -_--_--_--_--_--:

She called me good looking then I asked her out. We've been together since.

Sometimes the proudest moments as a parent come when your kid pulls something truly mischievous, and you're sitting there in complete conflict trying to hold back your laughter and joy. While most parents want to raise a kid who is obedient and follows the rules, there is something truly beautiful about knowing your kid can already work the system and stand up for themselves.

While 4-year-olds aren't generally encouraged to swear it up, some situations call for creativity and cuss-words, and as a parent it can be hard to pretend you're not completely on your pissed off kid's team.

In a popular Reddit thread, parents shared the times their child pull off something hilarious or naughty that they weren't allowed to publicly be proud of.

1. rumpsx's kid has their eye on the prize.

My kid excitedly told me today that he’ll be saving up the coal he gets for Xmas for a barbecue.

2. BillNye-hilist doesn't skimp on her love for dogs.

Not my kid, but my sister’s.

My sister was walking past my 3 year old niece’s bedroom. She peaks in and sees her lying on her stomach, ankles crossed in the air, pretending to read her favorite book called I Love Dogs.

“I love dogs,” reads my niece.

“This is so sweet,” thinks my sister, as a page is turned.

“I f*cking love dogs.”

“Whoa! What did you say, Ramona?”

“I said I freaking love dogs.”

The wily little kid even had the sense to censor herself.

3. bggraber's daughter almost interrupted the entire church service.

Daughter was maybe 3. In church with my parents. Guy across the church had eye surgery and had a patch. During a prayer, she saw him looked at him, covered her eye and went "Arrrr" like a pirate...pastor almost laughed mid prayer.

4. hooray_this_sucks's child keeps it real.

I asked my 6yo yesterday what he did at school and he said “jack sh*t” straight back in a monotone voice without even thinking...

5. AKANCsucks prefers "dude" to dad.

Called me dude. I taught her how to snowboard, I'm no longer dad, I'm dude when we go to the mountain and my ex is now bro (her mom). My parents were all about "respect", well this is respect to me and my heart swells with pride when I hear "DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT!? I was going so fast!"

6. Boudicat's kid will need to unlearn that behavior for the future.

My kid went through a phase. of climbing out of his cot in the mornings, clambering onto our bed, and tea bagging his mum. So much for his future therapist to chew on...

7. iheartcatzz's twins already know how to get away with the cuss words.

I have twin girls, 6 years old. Last night I was in my room and heard one say something that sounded like a curse word. I asked her what she said and she told me “chips”. I’m like, “oh, that’s not what I thought you said.”

The other twin then prances in my room, smug as hell and says, “you thought she said sh*t”.

Yes, yes I did. I had to contain my laughter; otherwise, she thinks it’s ok for her to say.

8. Shadow082's 3-year-old already knows how to scam the system.

When my 3 year old put himself in time out at daycare because he figured out if he was in time out, he didn't need to help clean up.

And then the following year when we got an incident report because he yelled "damnit!!" when the fitted sheet he was trying to put on his cot kept popping off.

9. uglygargoyle's daughter cracked up the entire book store.

I was in a queue at a big book store in the UK with my daughter who was about 6 (ish) at the time and whilst I'm in the busy queue my daughter was looking at the books on a rotating stand. Little did I know that on that stand was a small book of dirty jokes. Just as I was being served (there are about 12 people queuing across 5 tills) my sweet and innocent daughter decides to proudly show her reading and joke telling skills and shouts out "Dad, whats the best thing about a blow job?" Everyone in the queue started quietly chuckling whilst I'm trying to distract her and simultaneously pay and get out of the show as fast as possible.

The girl behind the till was desperately trying not to laugh and looked like she was in pain. Because I didn't answer immediately my daughter repeated the question. By this point everyone's shoulders were going up and down as they were silently laughing. I paid and quickly grabbed my daughter and put the book back. As we quickly moved towards the door she shouted "five minutes silence!!" To which the queues erupted with laughter while I practically ran out of the store, haha.

10. dramboxf has nothing but respect for Kathleen's clap-back.

Not my kid. My mother's best friend's daughter.

She was five at the time, and at the local grammar school attending a performance of her older sister's school play. Gets bored during the production, wanders out of her seat and into the hallway, where she promptly spies the fire alarm and pulls the handle.

As many of you know, those alarms will squirt indelible ink onto the puller's hand as a way to cut down on false alarms.

So, obviously, it's a false alarm, and the hunt is on. The principal quickly sees Kathleen's purple hands and confronts her about pulling the alarm. Gives her three or four minutes of grief. All the while, Kathleen is standing there with her arms folded across her chest. Her only reply is legend:

"Gimmie a break -- you know I can't read!"

11. Rosie_Cotton_'s son would NOT be manipulated.

My son was not quite two. Waited at the mall for pictures with the Easter bunny, but he gets a little nervous when the moment comes. The Easter bunny hands him a little rubber ducky, which my son is thrilled about. The bunny hands another to him, but as my kid reaches for it, the bunny snatches it back and pats his lap (in a clear gesture of “you can have another ducky if you sit on my lap”). My son looked at the duck he already had in his hand, chucks it at the Easter bunny, and literally storms off. He was SO offended. I’ve never seen a baby that mad. F*ckin bullshit Easter bunny tactics.

12. Mannings4head still doesn't know where the hole came from.

A few years ago my kids lost their hamster up in their game room. He escaped his exercise bowl and they couldn't find him. In helping them look for Sammy I moved the couch and discovered a huge hole. The couch hadn't always been in that spot but things often got moved around in the playroom during sleepovers and I never questioned it much. When they realized I found the huge hole in the wall they started defending each other. I told them that they wouldn't get in trouble but I needed the guilty party to help me patch up the wall. They agreed to both help.

One of them may have accidentally let it slip that it happened when he was playing Nerf Gun Soccer (no, I don't know the rules of the game since they seem to change every time I ask) with friends but my daughter claims that isn't what happened. They are generally pretty honest kids and have agreed to let me know how it happened before I die. I am glad they stuck up for each other and always have each other's back. The effort to move the couch was also impressive. The hole got fixed regardless but I really want to know what happened. That hole was massive.

Edit: Sammy was found safe and sound, but has since died due to unrelated causes.

13. LazerTRex truly shocked their dad.

When I was a kid I was being a bit of a brat and whining to my dad about something I couldn’t do. I kept saying “I can’t” over and over. My dad jokingly said “don’t say that, it’s a rude word”, now I knew that the c word was a bad word but I didn’t know how bad it was so I said “I’m not saying c*nt, I’m saying can’t!” My Dad was so shocked. Now as an adult my dad is always like “it was so unexpected, just this innocent looking little kid casually dropping the c bomb like it was no big deal."

14. tripperfunster's kid picked up on relationship dynamics quickly.

When my kids were young, my parents split up, due to my father's infidelity.

We live on a small farm, and one day we were talking about our chickens. We had a rooster my son had named King, and one of our chickens whom he hung out with a lot was named Queen. Well, King decided he liked a different chicken better (as they often do) I we were talking about how King decided he wanted a different girlfriend.

"Just like Grandpa John!" my son exclaimed.

Yup. He wasn't wrong!

15. phatfingerpat's daughter knows how to get revenge well.

My daughter responded to a bully on the school bus taking her cookies by putting snow in one of their boots and a rotten orange in the other.

16. MadWhiskeyGrin's son is already an Army of Darkness fan.

I let my son watch Army of Darkness before his mother thought he was ready for it. He later walked up to her with a toy gun and growled, "good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun." I thought it was hilarious. She thought I was being a terrible example.

17. StevieYo29's daughter is going to be just fine.

When my daughter was about 3 she was trying to slide at the McDonald's play place and this bigger approx. 7-9 year old girl shoved her trying to go in front of her and my girl just socked her. I think it was just a knee jerk reaction cause she'd never been physically bullied in anyway, and at that point I was fairly confident she never would be going forward either lmao.

18. GarshCT's younger sister has no time for other people's nonsense.

Not a parent but I have 2 younger sisters. When they were ages 3 and 4, my 4 year old sister was sitting on a kid's ottoman chair and my 3 year old sister was trying to sit on her lap. 4 y/o sister takes her foot and pushes her off while at the same time says "get the hell off the queen." My dad and I both heard it and our jaws dropped and it took everything to not laugh.

19. Sockbum's son won't let adults gaslight him.

My sister in law was playing a board game with my 5 year old. She was getting bored of playing with him, like she usually does, and so she tried to move the game along a little bit with some creative maneuvers (read: cheating) thinking he wouldn't notice. He looked at the board for a minute and then blank faced her and said "Lindsay, that's bullsh*t".

He also asked his dad "do you even know what the f*ck you're doing?" while he was struggling to put up Christmas lights.

20. SavageHedgehog had to try their hardest not to laugh.

Driving my MIL around with my wife and 2yr old in the back of the minivan. Was trying to tone down the swearing since she was starting to imitate us. Someone cut me off while driving and I shout “son of a ...” and then catch myself and stop before going too far. From the back of the car in the clearest little toddler voice comes “B*tttttccchhhh” perfectly timed. I started to laugh but then got the stare of death from the wife and had to stop.

The fight-or-flight response is one of humans' most powerful instincts.

People on Reddit shared stories of the times that made their bodies engage in flight mode, and they're lessons in trusting your gut when it comes to serious emergencies and jealous husbands.

1. town_klown had a surprise audience.

Met this cute girl at a party. Spent the whole night dancing [and] flirting. Offered to drive her home and she agreed. We were making out in the car in front of her house when another car pulls up with their headlights beaming at us. I ask if that’s a neighbor and if we’re blocking their driveway? She replies “no, that’s my husband”.

Husband’s car door opens and I noped the f*ck out of there. Dropped her straight back at the party and never saw her again.

Her excuse was that they were separated and he shouldn’t have a problem with it. I sure wasn’t sticking around to find out.

2. scoutmom6098's Bad Guy wasn't the worst Bad Guy.

Driving to Disney with hubs and 2 little kids (4&5). Stopped at a gas station in Tifton, GA at about 10pm. Wander in a little bleary-eyed with the 2 kids looking for the bathroom. Clerk looks at me funny and points. While I'm in there I hear "She's got 2 babies with her man. Just let them pee and go." I grab both kids and walk straight back to the car with only a small head nod to the clerk. Hubs was done pumping gas and about to go in himself. I yelled for everyone to get in the car, I would explain later. As soon as we pulled out I called 911. The operator told me they were already on route and to vacate the scene, took my info and wished us a fun trip.

Walked into a gas station robbery with two little kids, peed and left with no issues. Bad guy wasn't that bad of a guy and let us go.

3. Back2Bach knew Nana.

When I was about 16, I went to visit my grandmother at her place. The smell of natural gas was intense, even though Nana didn't seem to notice it much.

She was groggy - sort of half-asleep - not her usual responsive self. So I made her get out of the house at once and opened the windows and doors.

I called Dad and he reported it to the gas company, who sent inspectors right away. They shut off the gas (valve in the street) immediately and sent a repair crew to fix a leaking joint in the gas supply pipe.

The inspector said that if I hadn't acted then and there, the probability was great that there would soon have been an explosion.

4. Matzoballistic did too.

Grocery shopping with my grandma, she’s tired (normal for her) but she’s getting a bit slower and dragging her leg more than usual. At the checkout counter I saw her face was a little droopy and I said we are leaving now and going to ER. They gave her a bottle of water for the car ride which she ended up choking on and vomiting up all the water. Called ahead to ER so they were ready and they took care of her ASAP, she was having a stroke and they were able to help her quick enough so that she didn’t have any long lasting issues.

5. UglierInside also saved lives.

About two months ago I’d stayed up past my usual bed time and as soon as I got in bed I smelled something odd and was hearing some inconsistent banging and clattering from downstairs. I don’t live in a great neighborhood so none of this was unusual but I got out of bed to check anyway and saw flames licking up the side of the building. Yelled at my wife to get out of bed and threw on some clothes and we high-tailed it out. Our building has a shared wall with the next and that one had an apartment on the ground floor fully engulfed by the time we made it outside, ended up condemning the whole building. I was the first one to call 911. Have been jerking myself awake in the night pretty consistently since then.

6. Hippotheh's husband is a better husband than her friend is a friend.

Probably 2 months after my wedding, I invited my then-best friend (maid of honor) to a party my husband and I were going to. She agreed.

Sometime into it, I'm drunk and in the pool and my husband swims out to me to tell me she just asked him to sleep with her.

I have never sobered up or left somewhere so fast.

7. From 3klipse:

Showed up to a party, some people were outside fighting, my gf at the time and I decided to leave. Not long after that some guys that were a part of the first fight came back with more and a shooting occured.

8. Always check for womenfolk, GitaAtchison.

Me and a good friend of mine were drinking at the bar (about 8 beers in or so) and we started talked about womenfolk. He started complaining about he's doubting about his (at the time) 2 year relationship with his girlfriend. What we didn't know was that his girlfriend had just entered the bar and heard a great deal of it. She quietly announces her presence and they were both sort of staring at each other. You could almost hear their telepathic conversation: "how long did you-" "long enough" "sh*t." Then they simultaneously started staring at me and I just said something along the lines of "well, this has been fun but I have to go because..bye!" They had a big fight, but, they're still together, and now we're facing the door when we're getting sh*tfaced. Lesson learned.

9. From UsedTowels09:

About three months ago there was a shootout at my office park. My next door neighbor was robbed and beaten, but his partner arrived during the robbery, waited for the robbers to exit, and then opened fire on their cars with an AK47 in the parking lot. (turns out my neighbors weren't Amazon resellers, they were drug dealers).

While the robbery was going down I felt sick to my stomach and just knew I had to GTFO. I left, and was about to walk by their place when I had a bad feeling and went back inside to pee. While I was peeing my heart was racing, and I didn't know why. I ended up dribbling all over my leg, I was practically hyperventilating. Then the shots rang out - two bursts. I hit the floor and hid in the bathroom. When I finally came out there were people all over the parking lot and the air stunk of gun smoke, but everyone was OK. I ran all the way home, two miles.

Watching the security tapes later, you see me walk in front of the shooter twice, as he sits in his car waiting to ambush the robbers. If I don't go back to pee I'm right in the middle of it all. I also could have left as soon as I got the feeling, and would have been clear. But since I didnt get out fast enough, going back to pee probably saved me.

I'm still shaken up, and I'm still having nightmares. Talking about it here helps.

10. Yikes, Thirty_Helens_Agree.

I was home from college for a holiday weekend - maybe Easter. A college friend was from the same town and he was home too. We were looking for something to do on Saturday night and heard that an old friend was having a party, so we decided to stop by.

This old friend had developed new friends while we were gone - neo-Nazi skinheads. They had visible tattoos of Nazi symbols. Did I mention that the friend I brought is definitely not a white guy? We got the hell out of there pretty quick.

11. Lavrentiiy could have ended up in the hospital after the hospital.

A friend and I were exploring an abandoned hospital, and the way it was set out was via a bunch of joined buildings. All the windows and doors were boarded up aside from one place where we could squeeze in past a loose board, and the layout meant that once we were in through there, we had access to pretty much the entire main building.

Obviously it was darker than dark in there, and we have to remember which wing we'd come in from. We had flashlights so it wasn't too bad, but then we got to this room where there was a lot of cool stuff left behind (beds, filing cabinets, etc) and we wanted to take pictures, so we turned the flashlights off so we could use the flash on the camera.

We did this for ten minutes or so, only seeing the room in the bright flash from the camera. Everything was cool, and then we both slowly became aware of noises. Usually an abandoned building is pretty quiet apart from water dripping and wind doing weird things, but we could hear floors creaking, doors creaking... the occasional scrape or crash of metal against floor. Basically it sounded like someone was blundering around in the dark.

Now, the layout means that in order to get back to where we came in, we have to walk back towards the noise. There's only one route. We're getting freaked out so we start moving back through the rooms, stopping to listen all the while. Finally we get to the side hall that we came in from, and we bolt to the door at the end, finally risking turning the flashlights on and making noise.

It's the wrong f*cking door.

We stand there, listening to the footsteps get closer. We're frozen, standing in the dark, totally cornered. If whoever or whatever is making that noise comes down this short hall, we're fucked. We wait and listen, holding our breaths. The scraping and shuffling approaches, slowly comes past, and then fades. We wait a bit, and then creep out of the hall and into the main building again. Carefully we move one hall over, where we can see a sliver of light from the loose board. We quietly make our way towards it.

Then we hear an almighty scrape and bang behind us, as though someone tipped over one of the huge metal filing cabinets -- I mean, it was loud. I yell "time to go!" and we sprint for the door, and there are clear footsteps right behind us. We launch ourselves through the loose board and down the overgrown path, before taking a quick look back. We can't see anything through the small gap, but we do not stick around to see if that changes.

12. If the cops were afraid, then firelock_ny was afraid.

My friends and I stopped at a 7-Eleven around midnight in a sketchy neighborhood - we'd taken a wrong turn and were trying to find our way back to the highway. Two police officers were getting coffee and donuts.

A group of local youths came in, kind of roughly messing with each other. The police officers looked at them, looked at us, looked at each other and power-walked out of the store.

My friends and I decided not to complete our snack food purchases and made to leave - and then one of the youths yelled to his friends that we'd called him a racial epithet, when we hadn't even spoken to them. I'm glad my car started on the first try, and glad no one was coming the other way as I ran a couple stop signs.

Being in school is a privilege, but to many kids it feels more like a prison. And much like actual prisoners, schoolkids come up with all kinds of creative ways to make the time go by faster, including sneaking in contraband items in their backpacks or pockets. This might seem like a good way to spice up a tedious schoolday, but these items often end up in the possession of teachers, who are way smarter and more astute than a lot of kids realize—until it's too late.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the coolest thing you've confiscated of a child?"

These 29 teachers and students share the most unusual, funny, and dangerous items students have gotten caught bringing in to school:

1.) From Cantharellusformosus:

Took a pair of handcuffs during second period today. Got a lot of grief when I walked into the office with them...

2.) From Bonneville555:

A kid in my class had a Bb Gun. The VP noticed it as he crossed the room. He took it out of the bag and was giving the kid a bollocking when he shot himself in the hand with it.

VP went mental and smashed it off the table.

Kids parents supposedly demanded the VP compensated them for said gun.

3.) From magnummentula:

Educational assistant, but whatever. A makeshift taser. This kid had rigged up a "taser" using a couple of 9v batteries, wire, tape, and some sort of button from what could have been a toy.

It wasnt dropping kids, but it was enough to make you jump. I was impressed, but also wanted to pull the little shits arms off and slap the snot out of him with his own arms because he kept stabbing girls in the chest with it. Middle school kids are a weird point where they are too smart for children, but are certainly not human.

4.) From Bubblykit:

One of my teachers took my yo-yo and tried to do a trick she "once knew" and smashed a window.

5.) From elliedogsmum:

A redback spider from the gently closed palm of a 7 year old boy's hand, almost every recess for a month before I figured out a way to make him stop. He was never bitten.

6.) From HappiHappiHappi:

Scorpion in a jar.

The kid had put in leaves, twigs and even some smaller bugs for it to eat, made a real habitat.

HOWEVER, he was clumsy as hell and had a top locker above a concrete floor. No way I was going to risk him smashing the jar and letting it loose in corridor.

Gave it back to him at the end of the day with very clear instructions it was not to return to school.

ETA: Yes I am in Australia, but in the south so wasn't a particularly venomous scorpion, the sting would have caused about the same level of irritation as a bee sting (as for someone non-allergic).

7.) From plzupvoteme:

Live Dragonflies.

He was a little 4 year old boy that would never listen to any of the rules and generally just cause a lot of trouble. Anyway, he would catch dragonflies, without harming them. When you told him to release them he would open his backpack and 2 or 3 dragonflies would fly out.

8.) From lobstahslayah:

I took six bullets off of a first grader. When I asked him where he got them, he said from the gun. I then asked how he got them out of the gun and he made the movement with his hands that showed he ejected the shells. I took him to the office. While he was there, I checked his bookbag to see if he had a gun in there. Nope, just a baggie full of credit cards with 15 different names on them. Nothing happened to the child or parent.

9.) From theoreticaldickjokes:

My coworker and I had a mild prank war going on. Somehow, the students caught wind and decided to instigate by stealing things from his room and taking it to mine and vice-versa. Here are some of the things I've had to take from them and return to him:

His car keys

His entire desktop computer

Portraits of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson

Pumpkins from his Halloween decorations

His desk chair

His car keys again

A student desk

His travel mug with his name on it

At this point I'm convinced my coworker just doesn't want his car

And somehow, in the five minutes between his class and mine, they managed to flip all the desks in his classroom upside down. I'm not making this up.

10.) From anotherjakeenglish:

I was the kid: an imitation gun that used to belong to my grandfather. The thing was ancient, and was a simple single shot percussion cap pistol. The more I think about it as an older, less stupid person, the more I worry that it was an actual gun, since he was a policeman. Never got it back, that's for sure.

11.) From xnkxwn:

not a teacher but my teacher took my Mighty Beans™ in 2010 and still hasn’t given them back so i’m guessing she thought they were pretty cool

12.) From Karmackinnon20:

A raw egg spray painted silver.

A live bird caught outside.

A homemade hand buzzer.

A luchador mask

13.) From patgeo:

When I was a casual teacher I confiscated a knife from a 5 year old. He threatened me with it when I tried to get him to do his work.

It was my first week.

14.) From AllElse11:

I always wonder what the teacher did with Dad's XXX porn mag I brought to school when I was 7.

15.) From gnarley_quinn:

There was a big conspiracy of exam paper trading going on around the area my school is located in. Some kid figured out a way to get the independent exam that several of the schools would purchase each year.

He sold copies to anyone who would buy them, including our students.

We confiscated a copy of the exam with a different schools logo on it before it was issued to our students. Eventually my school figured out we couldnt buy exams from this seller anymore as the papers for most subjects (English, maths, Chen etc) always made it to the kids through the black market.

To my knowledge, the seller was never caught.

16.) From fatcowz4795:

My teacher confiscated a phone case. Just the phone case. Not the phone

17.) From RaoulDuke209:

I got busted selling envelopes of porn mag clippings. It went from zero to sixty real quick but the schools essentially pulled a RICO case on me. I would advertise by leaking some product and relying on word of mouth. In the bathrooms youd see clippings taped in the stalls behind the doors. In my bag a dozen repurposed envelopes I stole from my mom to house the classified porn. This only lasted 3 days before it became a big issue but after I was suspended it was like it never happened. Nobody talked about it because soon after you could just go online and look at porn on your phones.

18.) From commentspanda:

A lot of drugs.

Some really awesome lighters.

A number of flick knives.

Knuckle dusters.

And my personal favourite - a kitten. He found it on the way to school, brought it with him and had it in his locker (with lots of air flow and a blanket for comfort). I caught him trying to smuggle a saucer of milk to it.

19.) From twistedmatron7:

two years ago we had a girl smuggle in a little pit bull puppy. She tried to make a bed for it in her locker but of course the little guy was terrified and yapped like crazy. We all took turns babysitting him until school ended and she could take him home. She found him wandering on the road on the way to school that morning and stopped to pick him up. He was super cute.

20.) From punkyfuzzguts:

Knives, drugs, boxing gloves brought to school for a fight club, homemade bong (with no cone piece), shiv made from an off cut of some type of acrylic made in manual arts, spear made from a bed frame.

21.) From abclphabet:

I've taken a dog chain, a massive sharpened tent peg, razors and sharpened sticks off one kid.

Yesterday at school my deputy principal also confiscated what a kid claimed was his drink bottle. A bottle of Jack Daniels filled with juice to look like alcohol. I teach Intermediate/Middle School.

22.) From tangesq:

Frozen water bottle full of frozen margarita he was passing to his friends. 8th grade homeroom, so 13-year olds sharing a cocktail at 8 am.

It was actually kind of clever hiding in plain sight (it did just look like a bottle of frozen water), but my teacher sense told me something was up.

23.) From Molly_dog88888888:

I once heard of a teacher who confiscated a ww2 grenade (or something similar) off a kid who got it from his grandfather. Called bomb squad, wasn’t explosive. I think the kid got it back, and I’m assuming he got a good talking to about there’s some stuff you shouldn’t bring to school.

24.) From justincase690:

A dildo. It was found in the school garden. The kid came up to me and said “I found a ding dong in the garden and I’m taking it home for Mum”. I was not professional that day!

25.) From Dirtydesdemona:

A note that said, “school makes me feel like a dog waiting to be euthanized.”

26.) From panda_poon:

Not a teacher but a pound of weed was confiscated. I was next to the girl when it happened.

27.) From superpaulyboy:

On a ferry to France with about 80 kids. Some buy some Nerf guns. I tell them to be careful, and not fire them in public, or I'll have to take them.

By the time we but Calais, my colleagues and I have all of the Nerf guns.

Cue all out Nerf wars on the corridors once the kids went to bed that night, and every night of the trip...

28.) From AreYouALavaBeaver:

Her mother’s clitoral vibrator. She brought it to school (age 8) and told her friends it was her (the student’s) tension reliever, and that her mother told her to rub it across her forehead when she felt mad. She then had all of her classmates do the same. To be fair, I didn’t confiscate it, my in-room intervention specialist did, and my IS had no idea what it was so she took it with her bare hands, put it in her pocket, and carried on with her day. Later on, she tried to hand it off to me and I clued her in. Just another reason my IS that year hated me with a burning passion.

29.) From Penguinscanfly44:

A lit match. From a pocket

"Being single is about celebrating and appreciating your own space that you're in."

-Kelly Rowland

Single people got it going on! Life is sweet when you have no one stealing the covers. It won't last forever, so enjoy the single life, and these memes, while you can.

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When you're a kid, adults love to tell you how to live your life. It's called "giving advice."

But as you get older, you might realize many adults have no idea WTF they're doing. You might start to reflect on that advice and curse the day you believed it.

A Reddit user asked the internet, "What piece of advice did you take to heart when you were younger only to have it bite you in the a**?" and boy, did the internet deliver.

1. Individuality is important, but so is self-improvement.

"don't change who you are for other people"

I get what they're going for when people say that, but sometimes you're a s*** head and you should change. - Morall-tach

2. Whoever made up this saying was either lucky or lazy.

Good things come to those who wait.

I lived by that. I was the most patient person and really believed that if I was patient and waited, life would come to me.

Holy f*** was I wrong.

Spent my early 20s unhappy. Took me until about 25 that I realized that whatever I wanted out of life I had to get the fuck out of my apartment, put myself out there and grab it.

It was good once I did but man I wasted years just...waiting. - skobes

3. Yeah, the job will probably never find you. Ever.

“All you have to do is work hard, the job will find you if you’re the best.”

Then I learned about this thing called networking... - whereegosdare84

4. Your grades don't matter in the real world.

All throughout grade and high school it was "Stay in school, get good grades, and get a good job." Never once was I ever really told it's about who you know until midway through college and by that point I was too socially stunted to even know where to begin with meeting the "right people". - thebiggestleaf

5. Adults love this one.

I was taught it was rude to disobey adults. Went through a rough childhood because I was too afraid to say no. -OptymusPrime

6. Wouldn't you love to go back in time and not take out student loans?

Student loans don't mean s***. Just pay em $20 a month and they'll leave u alone.

For college educated people, my parents and myself (apparently) are f****** idiots - ceezygreazy719

7. Ah, that old chestnut...

"if you tell the truth i wont get mad" -mom - stillapieceofgarbg21

8. Will we ever stop torturing girls with this one?

He's only picking on you because he really likes you....bullshit... - MandywithanI

9. Extricating yourself from the judgment cycle is HARD.

Not really advice, but my parents would always hardcore judge everyone on TV. Like “oh, they have green hair? That’s pretty weird...” so I grew up both doing That to myself and other people. This lead to me not being happy with my choices, and also judging other people for things that are blatantly non-moral issues. - drunkonteaandlife

10. Being "proactive" can sometimes get you into trouble.

After 10 years of experience at a white collar job, I made the following maxim:

"Proactivity is the art of getting yourself into trouble you wouldn't otherwise have, and won't be paid more for it. Avoid at all costs" - jdarkona

11. This one's true until, say, the toilet needs cleaning.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do" was one of the biggest pieces of poppycock I'd been told as a kid. - Dwain_Foreman

12. I'll take "things that stopped being true in the 1990s" for 100.

Work hard and have unquestioned loyalty to your company. Eventually, you'll be rewarded for it. - irishamerican

13. Social skills are important.

"No, you don't have to change a thing about yourself. When girls get older, they will lose interest in the popular guys and they will realize how smart and talented you are and appreciate you quietness."

And I continued being introverted and playing video games all day for the next 5 years until I realized that I had to get out there and talk to people if I wanted to learn to have relationships with them.

So many wasted years . - Wiltrold

14. Lots of adults are dumb as hell.

"Adults know best!" - Never disregard your own feelings or guts because adults supposedly know where you belong. - SpeedyGrim

15. Yeah, who needs friends!

"Don't focus on relationships. Finish school, get your masters and girls will be all over you." Welp, that was a load of BS - TorontoWasteman

16. Forcing yourself to smile is not a treatment!

“Fake it till you make it.”

This works for some things. But if you try to cure your depression with that, as I was advised to do, the only thing you get better at is faking it. The depression is still there, pretending it isn’t just pushes it further down. I no longer have the ability to assess my mental health, because I’ve lied to myself for so long I don’t know how I feel anymore. Am I happy? Idk, I don’t think I feel anything, but I keep smiling anyways. - IrrelevantPuppy

17. People who know how to stop eating when they're full are wizards.

It’s not really a piece of advice, but growing up, the rule was ALWAYS that we had to finish what was on our plates. I definitely never learned how to eat until full, instead I eat until finished and don’t feel full until my plate is clean, and often by that point I’m actually overly full. I’m a grown adult and still struggle with recognizing when I’m actually no longer hungry. - snitch_snob

18. Being lazy is stressful in its own way.

I used to hear someone tell multiple people that "word smarter, not harder" was for lazy people.

The truth is you can be the most hardworking individual at your job, but if you aren't organized and efficient, that won't mean shit. - TheGentlemanLoser

19. Sometimes it's better to give kids the leeway to misbehave.

I feel like I missed out on a lot of things because it was so heavily engrained in me that there was nothing worse than being "bad" or getting in trouble. I was also brought up relatively religiously, which I think had a lot to do with. If you tell a kid they'll burn and suffer an eternity in hell for the smallest infraction, they just might believe you. I never partied, broke rules, etc because I thought I'd somehow be rewarded for doing the right thing and people that lie and cheat and slack off would eventually be punished, but that's just not the case. - kiddcosmonaut

20. Cheaters very frequently prosper.

"Cheaters never prosper."

Or any other variation that tells people that doing the right thing is how to get ahead in life.

Now, I'm not advocating for breaking the law, being an asshole, cheating, or fucking people over. But look at the top of any industry, from sports, to politics, to regular old jobs. Those at the top are rarely virtuous. - ThatsBushLeague

"It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips."

- Fred Allen

Let those laughs out, people. This list has some of the funniest memes from the Internet. If you don't laugh at these, you may need to get your sense of humor examined.

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Many teachers are amazing heroes, but some might be better off selling essential oils on Facebook.

And in a recent Reddit list, people demonstrated that while the teachers who fall into the second category might not be contributing a ton to the classroom, they certainly leave a lasting impression.

"People of Reddit," the poster wrote, "what was the most stupid thing a teacher ever said?"

Readers, hold onto your brain cells.

1. Subs go to Jupiter to get more stupider.

Seventh grade my science teacher had a baby so we had a substitute for the last eight weeks of school. It was supposed to be our space segment.

The substitute ignored the lesson plan and taught us about astrology.

But I got sent to the principal for arguing with her after she said Saturn was the largest thing in the universe. Somebody asked “did you mean the solar system?” And she said that meant the same thing. I then had the audacity to tell her that Saturn wasn’t the largest thing in the solar system the sun was way bigger she doubled down and said it is the largest planet. I again tried to correct her that Jupiter was, in fact, much larger than Saturn. She lost her temper and told me to stop talking back to her and to go to the principal. The principal was actually reasonable when he asked why I was there “I told Ms Johnson that Jupiter is bigger than Saturn” we had a different substitute the next day. I think I may have gotten that lady fired. - TheBrontosaurus

2. At least she wasn't teaching science.

My 8th grade English teacher tried to convince me that the Sun wasn’t a star. - GaryNOVA

3. It's not like France was heavily affected by WWII or anything.

I had French teacher sophomore year of high school try to convince the class that WWII didn't really happen. She said it was only a book that they made fake documentaries about - DJDirka

4. This isn't so much a fake lesson as a horrible instance of sexual harassment :\

Sixth grade teacher asked me in front of the class if red heads have red hair on other parts of their body too. After that everyone called me fire crotch. - gdnght6

5. God will let hunger and war go on unchecked for centuries, but he can't just help himself when it comes to confusing those dang scientists.

God put dinosaur bones in the ground to confuse scientists. - nashbar

6. The teacher was right in this case... but still.

"Giving head with braces is not easy" 6th grade teacher. - unicraven

7. Oh. What a dear, sweet soul.

In college, I had a professor critique my writing and say “this makes no sense—no man would abandon a woman they got pregnant” - astronautmyproblem

8. Honestly, this is my kinda teacher.

My friend's friend is a teacher. She heard that I was an engineer, so she sent me a really basic math/trig problem, because she wanted to know how to teach the material.

First off, I was outraged that a teacher didn't know this basic s***.

So then I show her the math for how to solve for X. I write up a whole page explaining the logic/math in very simple terms, so that she'd have a hand-out that she could give the kids.

She says "That looks complicated! I'm just going to tell them to plug in each possible answer on the multiple choice to see which one is right."

I'm still fucking mad about this. - Luckboy28

9. Hmmm... gonna need to check the math on that.

"antisemitism ended in the 1300s"

are you sure... are you absolutely sure - doraistheantichrist

10. What a beautiful idea, but no.

Ounces and grams are the same thing.

And while one inch is not the same as one centimeter, they catch up at one meter, which is both 100 inches and 100 centimeters and one yard. - yellow_paintings

11. Hope this person never procreated.

My religion teacher told us babies sin everytime they cry because they are being selfish and want attention. 😵 - mistressM333

12. -0% of what these teachers said is true.

Well, I studied in Catholic school. So, a lot of the "sex ed" that we got was basically "Condoms never work. Pills never work. Pulling out never works. If you have sex, you will get pregnant."

I also had a math teacher that solved an equation that resulted in -0. That was a fun day. - ImInJeopardy

13. We love an optimist!

Math teacher said there are no negative numbers - bindertes

14. There was more than one dummy in the room...

I was in a yearly CPR class that an EMT was teaching. When it came to hands on training, I was pumping the dummy's chest hard enough for it to click. The EMT told me I was "breaking the dummy. You hear that click? It's breaking!" He argued with all the health care providers in the class who explained the click is there to show you how hard you actually have to pump someone's chest.

He had supposedly been an EMT for 30 years. - SucculentOwl

15. Does anyone... in America... understand what socialism is?

A teacher called me a socialist because I said being born in America doesn’t make you better. - SJBailey03

16. Actually they were thinking of margarine and the Napoleonic wars (thanks, "Mad Men").

my substitute us history teacher told the class and insisted butter wasn't invented until WW2 - Propah

17. Maybe Austrians just really like steroids?

I had a teacher in 7th grade who said that Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent was the result of steroid abuse. - staaamos

Finneas O'Connell, Billie Eilish's 22-year-old older brother and music partner, gave some career advice that didn't impress too many people on Twitter...

While most 22-year-olds are just starting their careers and not exactly in a position to give others professional wisdom, Finneas and Billie have totally taken over the music industry. Billie's Grammy award-winning album was produced and co-written by Finneas right out of his childhood bedroom, and while that does sound like a "shoot your shot" situation, Finneas apparently doesn't think so.

You can make the greatest album in the world and without the resources and support to spread it around, nobody will hear it. People on Twitter were quick to remind Finneas to check his privilege: being born and raised in LA already gives him a serious advantage. Plus, Billie and Finneas' parents were connected to the entertainment industry already as they were both actors in Los Angeles.

Many people were quick to explain the pedestal of privilege that being homeschooled LA kids in an artist family allows them to stand on. "Shooting your shot" means advocating for yourself and your skills, putting yourself out there, taking risks, utilizing every connection and opportunity you have, and believing in your art enough to seize the moment. Finneas' advice to not find support in your career because it's "pestering" and to instead wait for people to come to you left a lot of people on Twitter with a bitter and confused taste in their mouths...

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Now, go out there and shoot your shot everyone! Today is the day!

You only prank the ones you love.

People on Reddit are sharing the stories of the cleverest, most successful pranks they pulled on people they were confident wouldn't kill them for it. The pranks provide good inspiration for Jim and Pam the next time they decide to mess with Dwight.

1. KnowanUKnow better wash their mouth out.

You remember the Juicy Fruit gum sticks? The ones with the wrapper?

I would carefully open the gum and save the wrapper. Then I would carve a piece of soap to look like the gum, re-wrap it and give it to my sister.

The kicker was that after she first put the gum in her mouth and discovered it was soap, I'd laugh and then offer her a real stick of gum as an apology.

That second stick was also soap. She fell for it.

2. thelamestmom spooked his family.

After seeing the movie Poltergiest, I thought it would be funny to put all the chairs up on the table stacked all weird and then open all the cabinets in the middle of the night. I thought it would be harmless and my parents would get a laugh out of it.

Nope. They believed, one thousand percent, that it was a ghost we had in the house and it didn't even matter that I told them the truth, they choose to believe it was the ghost. I'm not sure why, but I think they really wanted to be haunted or something.

3. PieSavant is an untrustworthy meteorologist.

My late husband was a weather nerd and loved inclement weather. One time I was home alone and a huge storm was imminent. I taped the weather warnings. A few days later it was a beautiful sunny day - not a cloud in the sky. We were watching TV and as soon as he walked into the kitchen to fetch a beer, I started playing the warnings. It was so funny! He kept running outside to check the sky. I laughed so hard (and so did he when I ‘fessed up).

4. Akareyon is too good at sarcasm.

Cooking at school; different parts of the menu were prepared by different people. The girl tasked with the fruit salad was halving grapes when I passed her, so I commented that she wasn't peeling them. "Were we supposed to do that?" - "Of course, didn't you listen? Ask the teacher!"

A looong time later, I had already forgotten the matter, not expecting to be taken seriously, I heard our teacher yell "Anita, what are you doing?!?" Poor girl was almost done peeling a pound of grapes.

5. futurespacecadet foiled the plan.

My friends and I rearranged my college roommates room and covered absolutely everything in tinfoil. He was just getting back from a trip and rolled in with his suitcase. He is overly dramatic and thus a great victim. We were watching tv when he goes to his room and I hear “ohhhh my gooood”. He huffs out and says the most dad comment ever: “why would you do this? If this isn’t cleaned up by the time I get back from work....”.

He goes to work.

We tinfoiled his suitcase.

6. JIR-Are-loved got the ultimate wake-up call.

When I was 13 I told my mom my alarm stopped working and asked her to wake me up in the morning. So I stayed up untill she went to bed and snuck downstairs. I took a jar of vaseline and put the vaseline on my doorknob and went to sleep. The next morning my mom woke me up, by screaming “WHAT THE F***, WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT!”

7. mark0210's prank is bicoastal.

I printed out a few copies of a particularly silly picture of my girlfriend's dog. He's a tiny one, and the picture is him leaning on a pillow in such a way that it looks like he's hiding and just poking his head out.

I hid one in her work bag, one in her yoga mat, one behind a bathroom towel taped to the wall, one in the box of a card game we play sometimes, and one taped to the pipes under the kitchen sink. She's found most of them, and gets a kick out of it. My final act was bringing one to a bar she was performing at this past weekend. I explained to the bartender "hey, she's gonna have a drink after her show, here's this picture of her dog" and he put in underneath the bill when we got our check.

I told her that's the last one that I had. What she doesn't know is that I texted her parents, and THEY are gonna print the picture and mail it to her from halfway across the country. Can't wait for her to check the mail later this week!

8. FueledByMaple's dad *does* want Scrubs.

I dunno if this counts as a prank, but my dad is a huge fan of the series Scrubs, and there's a gag where a character puts a pancake in the silverware drawer and this exchange happens:

"Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?" "You mean why is there silverware in the pancake drawer."

So, just for laughs, I made pancakes and put one in our silverware drawer, waiting idly by in the kitchen for him to need a fork or something. I watch all giddy as he, confused, takes the pancake out and asks "what's a pancake doing in the silverware drawer?" Without missing a beat, I say "YOU MEAN WHAT IS SILVERWARE DOING IN THE PANCAKE DRAWER!" I didn't think it would actually work. He got a real kick out of that.

9. Big_Thicc123's brotherly love costs $2.

It was the week before Valentine's Day and I was a senior in high school and my sister was a freshman at the same school. The school was doing a fundraiser where for just $2, you could get these 3 guys from the choir to come to anyone during class and give them a singing telegram. I thought it would be funny to mess with my sister so I bought her a telegram as a joke. The only aspects of delivery I had control of was to who its delivered to, and who it was from which I just put my name for that part, remember that. On the day telegrams were delivered, the singers arrived in one of her AP (advanced placement) classes and they had a test that day. They sung their song and she was so embarrassed. Here's where it gets good. She pulls out her computer (everyone had a loan computer from the school), opens hangouts, and messages one of her friends about what just happened. Part of her message was something among the lines of "I'm so embarrassed, I just want to die" And for the record, she wasn't serious about that, its just how she put it. Welp, that message got digitally flagged by the schools computers and she was sent to the assistant principals office for a welfare check just because of that. Our mom got called during this and she explained the whole situation because she knew what I was up to and my sister returned to class. And yet she still blames that last part on me. I will never forget when I passed her in the hall immediately after and she just yelled "I HATE YOU SO MUCH". It was too funny. And thats the story of the best $2 I have ever spent.

10. futureButt's prank is simple, and effective.

I bought a hundred dollars worth of Pepsi cans and hid them around my roommate's room. He moved out in August and he's still finding them.

11. sats1995 is stronger in a team.

One summer when my cousin was staying with us, he and I had a small “prank war” going on against one another. We decided to put our talents together and try to prank everyone else. We put small piles of flour on each blade of the ceiling fan in the living room. Just enough to not be seen from the ground. A few weeks went by and nothing happened and we had forgotten about it.

And then, the day finally came. My mom had company over. I was in the kitchen and I heard all kinds of shouting/screaming coming from the living room. My cousin ran up to me grinning and said “it’s happening.”

The living room looked like it had just snowed inside. Everything was coated in a dusting of flour. My mother was screaming, her guests were staring in confusion and the dogs were running around in circles. It was so amazing - until we had to clean it all up.

12. MesWantooth played the long game.

I set up a fake email address for the "Narwhal Appreciation Society" and sent a co-worker an email from the address saying "We at the Narwhal Appreciation Society have been informed that you, too, have an affinity for this majestic creature and we wanted to see if you would like to join our society."

He responded with "Thanks for the email - not sure who referred me but I don't have any interest at joining your society. Good luck!"

A couple of weeks later, I emailed him again and listed off the membership dues for the society and upcoming events.

He responded with "Once again, please note that I am not interested. Please take me off your distribution list."

A few weeks later, I emailed him a note that his membership dues were in arrears, commenting that the faithful Narwhal would most assuredly pay its bills, if it used currency.

I emailed him roughly 2-3x per year for 3-4 years. For the first year, when we still worked together, I'd see him open the email, shake his head and say aloud "Not these fucking guys again!" But he never attempted to block the email address. He responded to some (becoming increasingly agitated) and ignored others. In one response, he attached pictures of dead narwhals that had been killed by Inuit hunters and said "This is what I think of your stupid Narwhal. I hate them. I wish them all dead!"

I eventually stopped and never mentioned to him that it was me but years later, a few ex-coworkers were out for pints and one guy said to me "Whatever happened with that Narwhal shit you were doing?" and my pranked coworker's eyes bugged out of his head "THAT WAS YOU?!"

13. Patience is a virtue, raisedbyspirits.

when I was like 15 maybe or a bit younger I hid under my brothers bed at night for 45 mins, waiting for him to go to sleep well knowing that he might masturbate whilst I am under his bed (thank god he didn't) and when my moment of glory came I reached out from under the bed and grabbed his leg like some kind of Demon, crawled out and ran out of his room. He almost had a heart attack and beat me up quite a bit afterwards xD He said the part where I crawled out scared him even more bc I looked like some monster in the dark xD I still find this hilarious and I am proud.

If you're reading this, I'm guessing you already know this, because you make good decisions. But do not—I repeat, do not—send unsolicited photos of your body parts to strangers. It's creepy. It's harassment. And it could get you publicly shamed on the internet.

They say "never meet your heroes," but I think that saying is dumb and wrong. I think you should meet your heroes, which is why I want you to meet your new hero, Mariclaire Michelle. Here she is:

Recently, a male stranger reached out to Mariclare on Facebook and she shared screenshots of their convo, which started innocently and then, as these things often do, quickly took a turn for the worse. So she responded by scaring the living daylights out of him and then sharing screenshots of their convo. Because, like I said, hero.

At first, she asked the man why he messaged her and he responded that he thought she was "really cute." She then told him, politely, that she's in a relationship.

He didn't get the message and continued to try and engage with her. Then, despite her lack of response, he sent her a photo of his junk.

Mariclare at first responded by pretending she couldn't see the photo. Then, she sent a message meant to strike fear into his pervy heart—informing him that his graphic photo has been automatically sent to the police.

She wrote:

What was it? Usually I can't see the picture if it's nudity. I have a porn blocker on my phone and it sends the info immediately to my local police from the pictures date. I know it's silly but you can never be too careful with creepy guys on the internet

The man, clearly shaken, responded "are you serious" and then tried to justify his actions by saying "I've been drinking way too much."

She responded by telling him his photos are "probably being looked over at my local Sexual Crimes Against Women unit" and that his drinking excuse "won't make a good case."

He responded by blocking her—a surefire sign that she scared the crap out of him.

In the caption of the Facebook post, Mariclare reveals that the whole thing was a prank:

F*cking pranked. Don’t send me [graphic] pics or I’ll f*ckin blast you. I’m in tears right now 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I could tell this mans was sweating after I mentioned the porn blocker because he started to check my messages immediately and then blocked me 😂

She also followed up to let people know that she doesn't take credit for this genius idea, which she got from another woman online:

Edit: Before someone gets mad and says I stole this, I DO NOT claim to be the first person to do this. I saw a post that another women made about a porn blocker so I figured I’d try that on this guy.

And secondly, after her post went viral, she heard from multiple other women who had been victimized by this same creep.

Edit#2: I’m not the only one he’s been creepy to and now there are more screenshots. Thank you for the message Serena!

Several women sent her screenshots of his creepy messages to them, which she added to her initial post.

WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN, Y'ALL!

Mariclaire's post has been flooded with comments from people praising her response to this creep:

Feel free to try this one at home. Although hopefully you won't have to.

America is nothing if not a country full of enthusiasts. We are loud in the global conversation, and take up a lot of space culturally, for better or for worse.

While we are one of the richest nations on the planet, our education system faces perpetual budget cuts, which means a lot of us don't get the rigorous geography and history lessons our government could afford.

Compared to countries where people speak multiple languages and have a general grasp of world geography, American primary education doesn't always serve us as well, and this displays itself most obviously in social media debates.

Obviously, not all Americans expect the entire world to speak English and get basic geography questions wrong before yelling about American exceptionalism, America is full of lots of smart people working for a better world. However, there is still enough confusion awry for me to compile this list, and sometimes it's cathartic to laugh at our mistakes.

1. This American who was shocked people in Shanghai speak another language.

2. This woman who thought China knew about 9/11 before the rest of us.

3. This pro-America sign that backfires.

4. This person who is greatly confused about Christopher Columbus.

5. This woman who has a hazy concept of the borders in about North America.

6. This person who refuses to pledge to Democrats.

7. This person who would be shocked by British food.

8. This person who thinks Naples isn't in Italy.

9. This American deeply confused about why other countries don't celebrate the Fourth of July.

10. This person who didn't know the Titanic actually happened.

11. The person who earnestly believed England might not have televisions.

12. This person with a confusing concept of patriotism.

13. This person who fled the U.S. for California.

14. Rosetta Stone didn't fight for this.

15. This person shading Europe about the Superbowl.

Hotels can sometimes be a true horror show.

If you've ever traveled on a budget, you've probably seen all kinds of hotel, hostel and motel nightmares. Blood on the sheets? Yup. Bugs in the shower? Of course. Condom wrappers under the bed? A staple.

Even luxury hotels have been caught trying to cut corners when it comes to changing sheets and cleaning water glasses and other sanitary items. Usually, hotel housekeepers are overworked, underpaid and not tipped enough so it makes sense that they don't want to throw extra effort into a room that costs more for a night than they make in a week. If you have a minor problem with something in the service industry, you'll catch more flies with honey. Before you run to Yelp, mind your manners. Sometimes though, the situation is so bad that there is nothing you can do but unleash your claws.

When a recent Reddit user asked, "What was your worst hotel stay experience and what made it so terrible?" people were definitely ready to complain. If you're about to travel, it's probably best not to read this...

1. Nope, "arcant12."

My dad went to a hotel once and checked in to a first floor room. He went in the room, put his stuff down, opened the curtains...and a man was hiding there.

My dad went “excuse me”, closed the curtains, got his stuff and left. Went to the front desk to explain that a man was hiding in his room. Turns out the guy had just robbed a place and somehow got into the room with an open window.

2. Wow, "cousin_geri."

The bathroom locked from the outside. If you accidentally shut the door all the way, you had to have someone in the room open the door for you when you were done. If you were by yourself, you were SOL until someone came back, or you called the front desk from the bathroom to send someone up. This was pre-mainstream cell phone usage, so you may not have had your phone on you at all times.

Needless to say, we got our stay comped.

3. No thanks, "FrankieMint."

Motel 7 in El Paso had a software problem, lost track of occupied rooms. Rather than checking, they issued keys to possibly occupied rooms and waited to see if anyone complained!

I twice opened my new hotel room door to find other guests in there. Jesus.

4. Good luck at Kohl's, "DareWright."

I needed to find a hotel in Dayton, OH because of my daughter’s gymnastics competition. I read online reviews and the Travel Lodge there got good reviews. The price was good too, so I booked it.

I had difficulty finding it because it was dark and their sign wasn’t lit. Parking lot was pitch black. Just outside the entrance there were 2 sketchy guys that looked like they were negotiating a drug deal.

Inside the motel lobby was dimly lit with flickering lights. The room was no better. Stained sheets, holes in the bedspread and hair in the shower. The fitness room consisted of a stair stepper that was broken and an old tv on the ground that was also broken.

I told the front desk that I wanted to cancel our reservation. She said, “I don’t blame you. This place is gross. I had an I interview at Kohl’s & hope they hire me so I can quit this place.”

5. Absolutely not, "kaylrobs."

I stayed at a Travel Lodge a few years back. Went to get into bed and there was a blood stain on the sheet right in the middle of the bed. Pulled the sheet back and there was a HUGE puddle of it on the mattress, still wet. Not nice!

6. GROSS, "DarthContinent."

Drove halfway across Florida and collapsed into bed in an Econo Lodge in Crystal River. Noticed a funky smell coming from around the headboard. I lifted the mattress and found a used condom.

7. Definitely bed bugs, "whatoosee."

Checked into a casino hotel in Shreveport, La. Put our stuff in the room and then went to the casino. Came back hours later and could not get into our room. Traipse to the front desk to find out why the card key was not working. Was informed that our room had to be exterminated due to "an infestation". When I inquired what type if infestation? I was told that the desk clerk was not allowed to divulge that information. Got hotel manager and he lead us back to our room, let us in and the place was tossed: furniture overturned, mattress off of bed, etc. There was out luggage and belongings pretty much where we left them. Manager than took us to our new room and gave us the key cards for it. I asked how the hell do you check someone into a room then discover it is infested with whatever? He was unable to adequately answer my question. I asked him about what type of extermination chemicals they used because our stuff had been exterminated as well. He again could not comment. Wound up throwing out any consumables, didn't wear anything from our luggage and checked out early the next morning, never to return again to that hotel. When we got home washed everything in the hottest water available. As an aside: itched for a couple of days afterward but this was probably power of suggestion.

8. Why wouldn't they move you! "ResLifeSpouse."

Went to a historic hotel in Chattanooga, TN. Walked in the room, blood everywhere. The bathtub, the curtains, the walls, floor, lamp, everywhere! Hotel refused to move us. We moved ourselves to a different hotel that night.

9. So much blood! "Matosawitko."

I stayed in a hotel on the strip in Vegas for a conference a few years ago. Was talking to my wife on the phone while getting ready for dinner, and had to tell her "Honey, got to go, I think I just found wet blood in my room."

Called the hotel, and they said they'd send someone up to look at it. I pointed out what I had found - a drop on the frame of the dresser. He took it apart, and someone had bled all over this thing and all they had done to clean it was wipe off the surface. The frame around every drawer had puddles of blood.

They neither moved me or reimbursed me. Unfortunately it was the same hotel where the conference was held so I was kind of stuck.

10. Wow, "mao64."

Happened over Christmas time in China. Came back to the hotel after dropping my boyfriend off at the airport so was clearly not in the best mood only to find a lot of my belongings moved around the room and items missing... including my passport...

There was food that she moved into the bathroom, my deodorant was in the shower and my shower gel was on the tv cabinet, things were taken out of my suitcase and other items were put into my suitcase, jewelry was on the floor etc. Just really random stuff had been moved.

I had to go to reception and try to speak Mandarin (I was studying) and explain the situation. My passport was the main issue and I managed to get it back but I had gifts from my mum that were thrown out.

Turns out the cleaner had taken my passport with the sheets to the laundry room which is crazy as it was actually in a cupboard (no safe available). Checked out 2 weeks early and got a refund for all the missing items as she admitted to throwing them away but she wouldn't say anything about why she had gone through my things or why she had moved anything.

11. Damn, "rabbidrascal."

At the peak of Comdex's popularity in Las Vegas, I got stuck at the Tropicana. In those days, the infrastructure in Vegas couldn't handle the Comdex influx. My flight landed at midnight, but it took me until 4:00 AM to get to the hotel and wait through a 300 person line at the front desk.

When I finally collapsed in my bed and entered that hazy almost asleep state, it occurred to me that I was wet. Why should I be wet, I thought hazily. Then my eyes snapped open - I should not be wet. I jumped out of bed and pulled the covers back to see that piss had soaked out of the mattress, and the sheets were soaked and yellow with it. Clearly the maids had realized that the previous guest had pissed the bed, as they had placed a towel under the fitted sheet.

So, yeah, I had been lying in someone else's piss.

BTW this was my second room, as the 1st room they gave me a key to was occupied by a startled man in his tighty whities.

12. GROSS, "col-fancypants."

Mine was so bad we left. I was about 6-7 and we got a late start on the 8 hour drive to Orlando, so my parents decided to make a stop at a hotel. Well, we get to the room and everything felt off. They brought in a folding bed for me and the blankets and sheets looked faded from age and disuse. Look in the bathroom and there was 4 spider webs in the shower and roaches all over the place. Parents checked the main bed and there was bugs and hair under the blanket. We noped out of there in less than 30 min and got our money back. 97 was a wild time apparently.

13. This is crazy, "RainbowZebraGum."

I paid like $300 a night to stay at a fancy hotel for work in Park City, UT in the summer for a conference. They put me in this room with a kitchen and a living room and so many doors. Like four closed doors. So I go to open one and it’s locked. And the next one is locked. All of them are locked. And then I realize there is no bed. Not even a couch bed. Just a couch. They literally gave me a room that didn’t have a bed. It was the adjoining living room for other hotel rooms. And I checked my reservation and it said I booked a room with a bed. I felt like I was in the twilight zone when I went to the lobby and asked where was my bed at my hotel and they didn’t see the problem. It took almost three hours to get it sorted while I’m arguing that paying for a hotel is for the bed.

14. Wow, "TheCheck77."

It was on the beach but the gates to the beach were locked after 10. So after a late night on the water and going to a crab shop on a pier, we walked back to the hotel from the back over about 2 miles of beach in the dark. But that’s when we realized that the hotel was locked, and the buildings were wall against wall so there was no chance for us to cross to the front. So, my family and I saw a neighboring hotel, jumped the fence, ran across the closed pool floor, and as we opened the gate to the front of the strip, a security light flashed on us and the light immediately revealed a sign saying trespassers would be prosecuted.

Also, the beds were sandy.

15. Ha! "Kaa_The_Snake."

Was in Vegas with my Mom (she likes road trips and gambling so why not?). We were sharing a room and both in our beds ready to crash when we heard definite sounds of enthusiastic f*cking next door:"oh GOD!""*grunts*""Don't stop!*

OK, nothing that's not to be expected, just pretty dang loud. A minute later, the deed is done. Yay, sleep time! But alas, not 30 seconds later another commotion begins: Singing, at the top of their lungs. And what were they singing? Religious songs! All about how great God is and how blessed they are.

Oh HELL no! I'd had waaaay more than enough (sex sounds being preferable to this cacophony) and I bang on the wall, telling them to to STFU, and that what they just did was a sin against everything right and holy (me being able to sleep, of course). They did quiet down, but I've never been kept awake before by post-fornication religious singing.

"I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey."

-Tina Fey

If you don't know Tina Fey (what are you crazy?) you at least know her work. From SNL to 30 Rock to Mean Girls Amy Poehler's BFF has been making us laugh for decades. These memes prove Tina Fey is a damn national treasure.

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The rich and famous live in a different world than the rest of us. They may go the same places and enjoy the same foods, but the hyper privileged often experience things through VIP-colored glasses. So, even activitities as universal as attending a theme park look wildly different for Justin Bieber than any of the rest of us.

In a popular Reddit thread, theme park employees shared stories of celebrities visiting their parks, and the privileges and demands of the super rich.

1. holyscotsman used to rent out the whole theme park.

Worked at WDW also. Kids between 1 year old and 16 year old with Wealthy Parents would sometimes rent out entire theme parks. One time, Hollywood Studios was rented out to a kid who was I believe turning 8. Most of the rides stayed open and multiple bars serving alcohol would be set up for the grown-ups. Full service bars scattered throughout the park. We’d keep the park open a few hours after closing for them to ride the rides privately and get wasted. No idea how much it’d cost to do something like that but it happened quite often.

Sometimes the families were the coolest and would have fun, other times they’d be snobs and act younger than the kid having the birthday. For the families who were fun, the employees were usually a lot more relaxed (due to no crowds) and would have fun with them too.

In some cases, the group would be on one side of the park and we’d be sending empty ride vehicles around just waiting for them to show up. We knew they’d be about an hour before they’d reach us so we’d trade rides! So while we operate our ride, operators of another attraction would come ride. Maybe the lights get turned on for things like Rockin’ Roller Coaster, maybe all the lights get turned off and we’d ride it in pitch black. Was a lot of fun to do that!

2. DANGEROUS-jim knows the VIP Six Flags secrets.

I worked at Six Flags. As most people know, theme parks have different tiers of tickets you can buy which entitle the customers (or guests as we called them) to certain privileges (i.e. base ticket for entry is $45, early admission/base season pass $60~). What a lot of people don't know is that we had a tier of ticket that started at $500~ that gives you 1) a corporate escort that will allow you to cut in at ANY line at the park 2) unlimited food and drink 3) unlimited re-rides without needing to exit for another guest first 4) a private air-conditioned lounge area where you can rest.

3. roux_smalls watched a child who was deeply unimpressed with Jimmy Carter.

WDW here too. Magic Kingdom, Big Thunder Mountain at the time. You could always figure out the level of celebrity by their entrance to the ride, like if they just used unlimited fast passes, came through the wheelchair-accessible line, or very rarely if they closed down one side.

When Jimmy Carter came through with his family we shut down one half so they could ride on the train alone. A kid in line saw that the train was basically empty and was clearly upset as his mom said "That's Jimmy Carter!" Kid yells "Who the F*CK is Jimmy Carter?!"

Jimmy Carter salutes the kid, and we dispatched the train so damn fast.

Side story: I was told when Prince came through the park he never left the tunnels.

4. LoneCourierSurvivor was working when One Direction bought out Universal Orlando.

I work at Universal Orlando, One Direction once bought out the park at night after one of the concerts they had. Stayed really late and spent most of their time in the newly opened (at the time) Diagon Alley. They didn't even come to my section of the park but I got paid so there's that. A lot of celebrities that come around will either just walk through normally and we're required to act like we don't know who they are and some buy the super VIP that lets them basically do and go wherever they like. That last option also gives you a personal tour guide. It's like $3000 a person or some ridiculous number like that.

5. holyscotsman has all the tea on celebrities.

To share another story:

Celebrities would often come by and it was always interesting. Some were the greatest people ever, some were the absolute worst. To name a few that I felt were the worst was Taylor Swift and Amanda Bynes mainly because they were very stuck up and rude to employees and guests alike. Taylor Swift had asked that no guests be in the queue area at the loading dock for a ride as she did not want to be seen by guests. Then her group would ride multiple times all while we have to hold the line (which was already a 120 min wait) for guests until they were done.

But the nicest of celebrities made it worth while. The Harlem Globetrotters visited us during the ESPN weekend and arrived at the ride I was working at just as it had broken down. Guests were bummed that one of the most popular attractions had broken down, so the globe trotters started playing with the guests by doing basketball tricks and played on the Hula Hoop with the kids (which is pretty funny watching extremely tall guys doing a hula hoop with little humans).

Celine Dion and her husband visited our attraction, but didn’t want to ride. René did the ride while Celine hung out with us in the break room. She was fascinated by the vending machine that had a glass/plastic pane showing a moving motor to grab the drink and dispense it on the right. Just so she could watch this vending machine, she’d ask each of us our order then buy us a drink and watch in awe as it would grab the soda and dispense it.

Some of the celebrities were downright rude whereas others are just great to talk to when you’re not asking for photographs or autographs. Almost like they were normal people or something...

6. HighwaySlothh avoided Mariah Carey at all costs.

Worked in WDW.

Celebrities get guided access to and through the utilidor (tunnel system) beneath Magic Kingdom if they want it to get to different parts of the parks the fastest. They mainly only go to the nicer parts though, like the clean and pristine sections under fantasyland and Main Street. Not the gross ones where most of us worked lol. Though Johnny Depp ends up in the nasty parts of Adventureland to gain access to the elevators that get you up to Pirates.

Fun-ish story. Sorta relevant. Mariah Carey was a person we were all told to avoid at all costs. For our own sake. At least in my land. We were told that if we saw an entourage coming that even kinda looked like she’d be in it to just turn or duck away because she was such a misery. I never ran into her while she visited with her husband and kids, but found it interesting that her behavior was so egregious that our leaders went out of their way to warn us about her.

Edit: misery, not miser. I didn’t mean to confuse anyone. My bad. I take that lol.

7. b*tches_love_brie worked security while Cody Simpson visited.

I worked security at a theme park that hosted Cody Simpson for a concert. Apparently he's the "Australian Justin Bieber", a title I'm sure he loves. Anyway, somewhat famous I suppose. After the concert, he and his entourage got escorted around the park by several of the security staff and I, while surrounded by several of his own private, large security guys. When he saw a ride he wanted to ride, we walked him up the exit stairs and he got the ride. Not a huge perk, I realize, it was probably pretty nice to bypass every line, while being paid a handsome fee for being there.

Most themes parks are also available to buy out for the day. Usually that was just companies having an annual event, but when they only bought a partial day, the park closed early and all the regular guests (anyone without an armband usually) were booted out. I wish I knew what that cost, but it's probably pretty expensive considering the hundreds of employees and utilities it must take to run a theme park.

Money talks at theme parks. If you have lots, you do can pretty much do what you want, ride what you want whenever you want. No different than real life, I imagine.

8. justanothersong shared that most celebrities they interfaced with were pretty lowkey.

Worked in WDW, first in resorts and then in the parks.

The only major difference I witnessed at the resort was when we set up a late check in (11pm) and cleared the lobby for it; it wasn't even that big of a deal because there were only a couple of people hanging around that late and the store/QSR was closing down for the night anyway.

In the parks, it differs by who the VIP is and what they decide. Some just go to the park like anyone else, cause a little bit of a stir when recognized but otherwise just spend their day like anyone else. Some do the keys to the kingdom tour, like someone else already mentioned, but it's pretty standard and pretty much anyone can do it if they want to pay for it. And then there are the guided tours, where you have someone from guest services with you all day and you line jump and get priority seating, etc, but again, pretty much anyone can do it if they can pay for it.

Disney will typically bend over backwards to support any reasonable requests. I know they've cleared restaurants at celebrity requests before but all in all, during my time there, it was all pretty low key.

9. benhina's most intense wealthy customer was literal royalty.

Big UK theme park based on bricks. Most celebs get the usual best line skipping products, free stuff, backstage tours. However, we also had someone visit who was royalty from a very oil rich country, so money no object type deal. The team I worked in had to run around with radios ahead of his family plus 20 strong entourage, trying not to be seen, to predict his movements.

When they arrived at a ride, we'd clear out the exit line of plebeians, and let them all waltz in and go straight on. Rumour were, for this service, was a five figure sum. They didn't want to speak to, or even be near staff so everything went through their minders. That's all the antics I was involved in but I'm sure there was more as they all stayed in the hotel on site.

10. practicallybert has seen parents at their worst.

Work at Sesame Place, in a suburb outside of Philadelphia, specifically in the Rides department. Every theme park has those “cut the line” passes. Cost maybe like $29 for unlimited uses. When you buy that pass, they explicitly say “You may have to wait one or two ride cycles.” Oh these parents couldn’t care less about those rules.

Since I’m one of the supervisors, I get to deal with all of those complaints. Three best entitlement stories are someone trying to use it after we closed all of the rides. She made her child cry to try and get on. That was a fun one to say no to. Another one was a dad who let a child spit on my shoe for saying they had to wait a ride since that one was full. Final one was a parent WHO HOPPED THE FENCE WHILE THE RIDE WAS RUNNING because he didn’t want to wait and one of the cars was open on this ride. Not to mention the countless dads who have threatened to punch me in the face for making them follow the rules.

11. 3dprinteddevon knows the VIP deal for Six Flags.

Ex-Six Flags Employee here. Its really less impressive than you think. Six Flags offered several VIP options, which I'm sure you can find online. IIRC some were as tame as a guided tour and always front of the line (faster than fast pass), all the way up to renting and closing the park for a day. Usually there will be hosted party nights for certain groups. Food is usually included and for group functions, will be catered special.

12. teknrd loved the WWE guys.

I worked at Busch Gardens back in the 90s. During that time we had celebrities like Garth Brooks, WWE wrestlers and their families, and Hanson (shut up, it was the 90s) visit while I worked there. I found the treatment depended on the celebrity in question.

Garth Brooks and his band (along with families) were all pretty low key. Though they were escorted through the park by an employee (and allowed to travel from point to point using employee walkways) they didn't really ask for much. They rode rides and they were all very friendly.

The WWE guys were the most low key and the most fun. They didn't ask for escorts. They roamed around on their own and just had a blast. They were fun to interact with. I wasn't a wrestling fan so I didn't know any of them by name, but they were huge guys and all stood out in the crowd. They were hard to miss.

As for Hanson, well, most of us never even saw them. From what I understand if they wanted to ride something, the ride was cleared of other guests while they rode. They were taken around behind the scenes everywhere they went and we were told not to try to interact with them unless they started a conversation.

Edit: I should point out that I only bring up celebrities because non famous rich people don't stand out. All the regular wealthy just blend in.

Second edit: While at Busch Gardens I did see Governor Rick Scott once. I was there just as a guest that time. For good reason he doesn't travel light.

13. firebreathingraptor knows all the price points for VIP experiences.

I work at Universal Orlando and have been for a few years now. We have two different types of V.I.P. tours, ones that are non private (you share the tour with another group or 2) that start at around $300 minus park admission, and then private tours (just your party) that start at around $2,500.

The latter group is usually celebrities, or families that don't want to deal with crowds or waiting in line. They get taken through VIP staircases, if they're celebrities they'll travel backstage to avoid crowds, they won't use public restrooms, but rather our employee restrooms. They get special meals, free photos, and a ton of other stuff.

They're generally some of the most pleasant people I deal with throughout the day (can't say anything for the celebrities because I don't talk to them.) Most are excited to be on the tour and love skipping the lines and the private tour they get all day.

If a company wants to rent out the park, they can, with a fee. We've had some major companies rent it out for a night (Microsoft last month) and they get all the rides, merchandise, catering, open bars, all to themselves.

Money talks my friends.

14. ItsMorpeth's friend will never mess with the royal family of Dubai.

This story is about wealthy people at theme parks and privileges but not linked as the question wants it to be.

Not me but one of my old bosses now works at an indoor theme park in Dubai as head of the rides or something like that. (I don’t know what it’s called, sorry!). I heard from his fiancée, who is my current boss, that one day the royal family of Dubai came to the theme park.

They chose a ride to go on and got free access to go on it. They went round the one time and they wanted to go around again but the employee managing the ride didn’t let them because there was a line of people already waiting to go on.

Now, for some context, if the ROYAL family of DUBAI want to do something. YOU LET THEM. The family said to the owners of the park and the guy I know that the employee managing the ride was not allowed to work there anymore and that he had to go home to the UK and never come back. That man is now never allowed to go to Dubai again.

15. PeppermintAero knows the key differences between Justin Bieber and Justin Trudeau.

I worked at Canada's Wonderland for a few years (but it seemed like every time a celebrity came I happened to just miss them). Wonderland does offer some VIP thing though, which I know most celebrities use (I only saw Adam Sandler using this myself). Basically you just get escorted to the rides by someone and get instant access to ride.

Justin Bieber though is another story. Unfortunately I hardly remember details about this nor do I know how true they are, but I remember some of my friends telling me he spent a good like 5-10k for him and a bunch of friends to only go on two rides...(I'm assuming they rented it out for a small amount of time) One of which (go karting) he demanded to wear gloves for...someone said because he didn't want to touch the steering wheel because he was too good to touch it with his hands. Anyways, I doubt that part is true but at the same time its Bieber so who knows.

Asides from that I dont remember much else. Justin Trudeau is apparently always nice and calls people by their name on their nametag. I still regret calling in the day he came to Wonderland.

16. OfficerJohnMaldonday has Legoland stories.

Worked at Legoland Windsor for 4 years, multiple celebs came through during that period all received different treatment and three people in particular stand out.

Katie Price, a truly awful woman, would regularly come to the park demand all the diva treatments, passes, VIP parking routes in and out of the park to avoid regular people, pays for nothing gets everything and thanks no one.

Michael McIntyre, also received most of the above, as to whether or not any payments were received for those services I do not know but in general he was reportedly much more pleasant and fun to deal with and less demanding.

Finally Boris Becker showed up one day at the front entrance at about 2pm well after the morning rush and as most other people in the park were eating lunch, produced 3 annual passes for him and the kids handed them to me so I could check they were his, had a pleasant if brief conversation as I scanned them through and he went on about his day like a normal person.

Guess who my favourite celeb guest was whilst I worked there!

17. ShaIIowAndPedantic met Shaq.

I worked at Universal Studios Orlando for a while running The Revenge of the Mummy. It was a ton of fun. Amazingly we managed to fit Shaq on our ride vehicles. They had stadium style seating, so the last row was higher up and had more leg room. I'd always get funny looks from larger people when I told them to ride in the last row, some thought it was a racial thing (f*cking idiots), but when I told them Shaquille O'f*ckingNeal can fit in the last row they'd shut right up.

To everyone wondering how Shaq fit, and doesn't get what I meant by stadium style seating, the floor of the ride vehicle is at the same level but the seats in the rear are higher up so everyone has a good view of the ride/show. So in the back row you have quite a bit more legroom than the first row. Even larger people, not Shaq style large, had an easier time fitting in the last row.

18. Heroicshrub saw Obama's daughters.

Worked at Hersheypark in Pennsylvania as a games clerk.

Obama's daughters really liked Hershey and came to the park multiple times with with friends. Nothing too interesting, surrounded by guards, got to skip all the lines, and didn't have to pay for anything in the park (they got a bunch of game and good tickets). Pretty much what you would expect, but it was cool to see them.

19. Keskekun treated everyone like the human meat bags they are.

Worked at one in my teens and I can proudly say absolutely none, at my park we treated everyone equally, like the god damn peasants they were. I think that it was expressly written in our contracts to treat everyone like garbage. I might be misremembering that but it was at least a unwritten rule, or commandment.

20. DeyCallMeCasper also has Justin Bieber stories.

I worked at an amusement park near DC that was visited by Justin Bieber last year. He was escorted by a bunch of higher-up people around the park they didn't seem to think highly of him. In fact, when leaving the Waterpark he told one of our Supervisors to put his shoes on for him, which she refused to do. During one of our big retraining last year he was brought up and we all agreed that "yeah, we don't really like him"

Then we have other people like Malia Obama who came to visit with her friends a few months ago and she was just trying to be lowkey the whole time and it seemed like everyone from guests to employees was just trying to take pictures of her and she just kinda wanted everyone to fuck off. I felt kinda bad for her. But she had at least two secret service guys dressed as normal guests getting on rides with her friends and all that. It was funny.

If someone I was dating made me choose between them and my dog I'd dump them in a heartbeat and I think most dog-moms would do the same. But what about frog-moms? Should they be allowed to prioritize their wart-babies the same way we prioritize our fur-babies?

One frog-mom took her story to Reddit, seeking advice after her boyfriend failed to respect the bond she shares with her 14 frog-children and forced her to choose between him, and them.

The woman, an aspiring biologist, explains that she has been "rescuing" frogs for around two years and now has 14 frogs which she has raised "as if they were my own children."

So, I discovered that I really love frogs and two years ago I started bringing them home and rescuing them. Now I have around 14 different types of frogs and I've raised them as if they were my own children. They helped me decide to be a biologist and I'm currently in college pursuing that dream. They've helped me cope with the loss of most of my friendships and a really bad phase of depression as even though I didn't want to take care of myself, I still took care of my frogs. At times it felt like the only reason I was still here was to nurture them and give them comfortable homes.

Like so many pet owners, she credits her frogs with helping her discover her passion in life, get through a period of depression, and even giving her a reason to live. Frog moms: just like us!

Unfortunately, her boyfriend of six months doesn't respect her passion for the green-skinned amphibia.

The boyfriend is now moving away for grad school and invited her to come with him—but only if she'll get rid of 11 out of 14 of her frog-kids.

About 6 months ago, I met my bf and we immediately hit it off and hang out every day. He's expressed to me that he's not a huge fan of animals and I never really press on him about it. Well, he's decided that he wants to go somewhere else for grad school and has invited me to go with him and live with him under one condition: I have to rehome all but 3 of my frogs.

She says she's "heartbroken" at having to choose, and even offered to pay for an extra bedroom for her frogs. But he refused, saying he doesn't like the frogs because they're "ugly."

RUDE.

I'm heartbroken because I don't want to feel like I have to choose between the two most important things in my life. I'm frustrated and feel like it's unfair of him to make me rehome all of them. I've tried to make compromises offering to rehome half, or even pay extra for us to have an extra bedroom for my frogs so he wouldnt have to see or interact with them. He says he doesn't like them because they're ugly which to me is completely outrageous for him to be so dismissive of something I'm so passionate about.

So she asked Reddit if she should break up with him or if she should compromise and rehome most of her frogs, asking: "Is 14 frogs too many?"

I'm not sure what I should do, if I should break up with him and not go? Or if maybe I do have too many frogs and if I should rehome some? Pls help

TLDR; my boyfriend wants me to choose between him and my life passion of rescuing frogs. Is this fair of him? Is 14 frogs too many?

I was pleasantly surprised to see the Reddit community rally around this frog-loving woman and come out strongly pro-frog, anti-boyfriend.

Most commenters urged her to dump the guy and keep the frogs, arguing that he's wrong to insist she get rid of her beloved pets.

bookishnewyorker wrote:

Quite demanding for a 6-month relationship. Who does he think he is?

yuudachi wrote, optimistically:

OP, there is someone out there who is going to love you and all 14 of your frogs.

apis_cerana wrote:

These are self contained pets he doesn't have to take care of or even look at if he didn't feel like it. He's not allergic to him and it's not like they're capable of hurting him in any way.

In that sense it's kind of like...if he was super passionate about building guitars or something and he wants to go into music as a profession, and you're asking him to throw out most of his guitars because you think they're a waste of time. Would you ever ask something like that of him? You probably won't, because you like him and support his hobbies and interests because it makes him happy.

This guy doesn't seem to care about the fact that this is your passion and what makes you happy in life. He's asking him to change your life and compromise your own joy and happiness for him, just because he thinks it's weird.

Keep your frogs, rehome the boyfriend.

And Aleses1 agreed, writing:

It has only been six months. Dump this guy.

Six months is generally too short a period to consider moving in with someone who isn't asking you to get rid of your treasured pets. And you have a compelling reason not to live with him, since he is.

The woman responded to all of the commenters, thanking them for their support and advice, which she plans to bring up with her boyfriend.

chirpchirping:

I want to thank you guys for all being so supportive of me. This advice is phenominal and I'm definitely going to bring it up to him. If he's still firm on his frog rule, I think it would be beneficial for me to seek attention elsewhere. Definitely some hard to read stuff but I needed this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

She's also received support on multiple platforms. The post went viral on Twitter, where everyone agrees that she should choose her frogs over her boyfriend.

Hope she takes this advice and finds someone who respects her and her love for her frogs. As they always say*: frogs before hogs!

*nobody has ever said this

Speaking as somebody who broke their knee in a Segway accident, needed surgery, and now has a scar going down their leg—true story!—I love hearing the absurd anecdotes behind peoples' scars.

People on Reddit explained the injuries that left marks on a skin, and they'll inspire you to take proper safety precautions when approaching the toaster.

1. gettysburg_undressed's story is cheesy.

A friend took off his boxers and we set them on fire in the middle of the road. Let my friends heat up one of those knives that has the word cheese cut out of the middle on the open flame....then let them brand me with the cheese knife. The word cheese has been on my leg for 16 years now.

2. If it attacks like a duck, NORTHERNdriver1989.

I was attacked by a duck as a kid. I have a scar on my left hand.

3. P0ster_Nutbag freshened the wrong head.

I masturbated with toothpaste once when I was young. I still have a scar from where it burned on the tip of my penis.

4. cpatraniqua's Seattle Chainsaw Non-Massacre.

First and only time I've ever used a chainsaw was after a bad ice storm in Seattle in Dec 2008. I used it for hours without hurting myself, but then when I went to put it back into the case, I slipped on ice and got a nasty cut on the back of my hand that left a bad scar. I felt stupid and still have the scar.

5. 2buckbusk's got the power.

Saw some dirt on my toe while power washing. Figured I’d power wash it.

6. Yunagi's starred in his own Game of Thrones.

When I was a kid, I was playing with my younger cousin. I hid behind a recliner and when he came near, I stood up and he shot me with a Nerf gun. I said, "No!" and tried to die dramatically, but as I collapsed to the ground, there was a staple sticking out of the recliner which cut along the side of my torso. So yeah.

7. Angeu's cat does not want to be like beans.

Wrapped my cat in a blanket and called it a burrito. He proceeded to bite me on the nose.

8. Yum, Anxiety-Factory.

Ramen noodle burn.

9. ClandestineDuckAttac would risk it all for those "chicken tendies."

Reaching into the toaster oven to get those chicken tendies, my bro. Was taking my sweet time because it was hot and heard a sizzle the whole time my hand was in there. Turned out it was my knuckle straight on the top burner. Still have a little crater there 10 years later.

10. xmilkyfish feels the fire.

I burnt my butt on a candle...

11. Ouch, Slummish.

A bird flew into my chest, beak first.

12. Always listen to your aunties, Deafening_Silence12.

When I was a kid, my cousin and I were jumping on the bed. My aunt told us to stop and we didn't. Two minutes later we bumped into each other mid jump. I ended up with a scar on the left side of my face just above my mouth.

13. man8dude learned their lesson.

I ran myself over with my truck. Forgot to put the ebreak on, and it was rolling into my neighbors new BMW. Figured health insurance would be cheaper than car insurance. 20 stitches later and a gnarly spike-shaped scar on the back of my leg. Lesson learned: Check your tires.

14. StaleCornflake starred in their own cartoon.

I was around 10 years old and riding a bike when I saw a banana peel on the sidewalk ahead of me. I immediately started to panic because of all the cartoon characters I'd seen getting sent into the air by them.i tried to stop but was panicked and when I went to put my foot down I hit the cross bar ( dad's bike) and my hand slipped off the handlebars and my forearm dragged across a rough screwhead on the shifter (3 speed) and it gashed my forearm.

15. Do it for the 'gram, graspee.

Posing and doing flashy moves with a carving knife which I then proceded to instead of swishing at my side blade facing backwards, I instead shoved straight into the top of my thigh.

16. TransoTheWonderKitty didn't even get the settlement money.

Two hot cups of McDonald's coffee dumped in rapid succession on my leg at the drive thru. I was buying 5 cups of coffee.

17. -eDgAR- included photographic evidence.

I have this scar on my finger shaped like a Nike swoosh because I was dumb/drunk and decided to punch a pint glass.

This was back when I was in college living at one of the dorms and was very much a moment of instant regret for me. It ended up slicing my finger really badly, like I mean there was a flap of skin that came up. Went to the bathroom and ran it under water, but it just kept bleeding. I didn't know what to do and was too drunk to try to deal with it, so I just wrapped my hand in a towel and tried to go to sleep.

Woke up to knocking at my door and it ended up being security. He followed a trail of blood from the bathroom to my room and wanted to make sure I was alright. I showed him my finger and he was like, "Come on, you gotta go to the hospital." Dude was a real bro and drove me there even though it was like 3am. Saw a doctor and he had to give me a bunch of stitches. He said I was very lucky because if it was just a tiny bit deeper I would have probably had done permanant damage and lost mobility of the finger.

18. womper-romper got a warm welcome to the world.

I was born via c-section and the doctor accidentally cut my head a little bit so I still have a scar from that.

19. Bless you, Kandraa.

Sneezed, scared the sh*t out of the cat laying on my leg, he ripped open skin on my knee.

20. Jesus Christ, BurningBlaise.

I was 7, and at church with my family. Was chasing a little girl because she stole my sucker, and I tripped. Head butted a corner full force. There was blood everywhere!

21. Wonderchief was off-target.

This one time at the local Target I was being my typical dumbass self around my girlfriend and was "testing" the softness of the pillows by ramming my head into the ones on the shelf. So I go to "test" the third pillow and ram part of my face into the metal shelf. I promptly proceeded to run to the bathroom while bleeding profusely from my face.

22. homeschoolpromqueen got a gaming injury.

No scar, but I did sprain my wrist spinning around in a computer chair.

My parents were super proud.

23. Whoamiacrazerson's got scars on scars.

Picking at a scab.

24. HoyMinyoy was too committed to Halloween.

At a Halloween party I saw somebody dressed as a US soldier with an airsoft rifle (one of the gas powered ones) and thought “hey, I wonder what it’s like to get shot with that” so I asked him to shoot me. He wouldn’t do it, so I decided to ask my other friend to do it. After a few minutes of egging him on, he finally agreed.

So I took off my shirt and stood in front of a fence ready to take the hits. My friend aimed about 15 feet away and was ready to fire, but misjudged the recoil and sights on it. So instead of shooting my back, he shot me in the back of the head 5 or 6 times. After making adjustments, he shot my back about 10-11 times. Those things sting like all heck, and I wound up having welts all over my back that turned to scars. It was dumb and honesty dangerous, I wouldn’t recommend doing it especially shirtless and with an airsoft gun that shoots at 450 FPS. Silver lining is it makes for an amusing story.

25. Ouch, 1800s-baron.

Covering my entire foot in boiling hot glue that stuck on for about a month, 2nd degree burns can’t really feel the top of my right foot anymore.

26. Lonecoon is toast.

I cut myself on a piece of toast.