It's not easy for anybody to be a parent, but it's especially difficult for people who faint at the sight of a dirty diaper.

A dad in a sh*tty situation asked "Am I The A**hole?" if he's a jerk for "refusing to change [his] daughter's diapers," and it's surprisingly more nuanced than his headline made it seem.

He wrote:

My wife and I have an 8 month old daughter. Try as I might, I can't bring myself to change #2 diapers. #1 I have no problem with and I volunteer whenever I can so my wife doesn't need to because I don't change #2s.

Why? I've vomited and fainted from #2 diapers with our daughter before. I don't know what it is but I can't stand the sight or smell of feces, I have an incredibly strong reaction to it. It's the same with blood: I will faint if I see my own blood, for example.

I've started to give our daughter baths whenever she does a #2 and my wife isn't around. So some days she takes one bath, sometimes up to three. It's all because I can't stand the sight of feces. At least with a bath it's not so bad and I can truck through.

My wife says I can't keep doing this and has forbidden me from giving her baths. So I stopped changing poopy diapers and let my wife handle 100% of them.

Am I the a**hole?

The Court of Reddit was quick to tell him to get over himself and embrace the fact that sh*t happens—and it only gets messier from here.

"YTA (You're The A**hole), you are making [your wife] do all the dirty work. Dude.. what happens when your kid gets hurt and bloody? You need to get yourself figured out before something bad happens to your child because you can't handle it. Exposure therapy or something," 22feetistoomany wrote.

A more sympathetic commenter, dasturkey, included some practical advice. Somebody with such an adverse reaction to feces could try wearing a "facemask with dab of cologne or vaseline under the nose," "rubber gloves/special 'baby changing' gloves that can be at the station for you," and if the problem remains dire, they should consult a doctor.

People were also critical of the "poop bath" solution.

"Seriously, that is disgusting," Mathqueen82 posted, before painting a quite the distrubing picture.

"You need to wipe off the majority of it before putting her in the bath otherwise she is just bathing in poopy water. Which is both unhygienic and extremely unhealthy. Kid gets poop water on their hands. Then sucks their fingers....."

The subreddit labeled the date an A**hole, but Twitter was somewhat more sympathetic.

Somewhat.

Because this is the internet, there were also Poop Fainting Truthers.

Real or not, this guy should go to therapy.

Everyone with a dad can agree that every dad could use some therapy.

Most people don't actually enjoy telling lies, with the exception of a few people I've dated. More often, people lie out of necessity, like to cover up something bad that they did or that happened in the past. But the problem with lies is they tend to multiply, creating lies on top of lies on top of lies, etc. Until you have the plot of Big Little Lies, a TV show about me calculating how many calories I eat in a day (JK that's a lie..or is it?).

Someone asked people of Reddit to share the lies they "hate" telling, but have to keep up to cover up for a "much bigger f*ck up." Here are 22 stories from people who've been forced to keep up a web of lies to cover up something from the past:

1.) From rod_jammer:

Years ago, I was partying with a college friend at a bar in New Orleans (where he lived right out of school) in a big group, and his car was "stolen".

Years later he confessed to me that he decided to leave the bar early, accidentally drove into a swamp, and walked away from his vehicle as it descended into the muck. He then walked back to the bar and hung out the rest of the night, only to act surprised when his car wasn't there. Vehicle recovered two weeks later and insurance paid it off in full. The guy is now an attorney...investigating corporate fraud.

2.) From bankergoesrawrr:

My uncle died of a drug overdose, not of the cardiac arrest my mom's family insist we tell as the official story.

3.) From Bakkado:

When I was a kid I chased my little brother outside with a spoon. Once we got outside he got on top of our car and started yelling. No clue why I was chasing him with a spoon or why I cared about him yelling. After he wouldn't get down I threw the spoon at him aiming for his stomach. Trying to avoid it he ducked and it hit him in the face right next to his left eye.

After he calmed down I took him back into the house and told my Mom he fell. He was hurt pretty bad, the spoon didn't just barely hit him. It caused permanent damage to that eye that he had to deal with for years. He wasn't blinded or anything but his vision was impaired. He was too young to remember (I'm three years older than him) that it was my fault so he doesn't know it was me.

Not the biggest lie ever cause we were both kids and I didn't do it on purpose but it's still pretty shitty to know that I did that to someone.

4.) From bowhunter_fta:

My girlfriend and I were sitting around visiting with a bunch of friends. She was sitting on my lap and someone else was talking, so no one was looking at us.

All of a sudden I felt my girlfriend "seize up" as she stifle a sneeze. Unfortunately, holding back the sneeze caused her to rip a MASSIVE FART.

The fart was so huge that every head in the room turned towards us with a look of shock and awe on their faces.

I just smiled sheepishly and said, "Excuse me". All the guys cracked up and the girls feigned disgust until the aroma hit their nostrils. It was a RANCID VULGAR odor that cleared everyone out of the room.

The group had a few good laughs and made fun of me for years for that fart.

That's ok, that night (and many nights thereafter) I was amply rewarded for chivalry.

tl;dr took the blame for my girlfriends very public, very loud satanic a$$-blast DM;HS

5.) From kbbphoto:

The reason why I'm going to community college this year isn't because it's cheaper. It's because I failed out of the well-respected state school that my Asian parents paid $35,000 for last year.

6.) From [deleted]:

That I've never been in a relationship.

Nobody knew I was in one, or would have approved - it was with a much older woman - and it turned out a devestating disaster for both of us.

7.) From jrock0:

When I was 15 and only had a driver's permit, I feel asleep behind the wheel and rolled the truck I was driving. My mom was asleep in the passenger's side and luckily we were not injured. She ended up telling the cops it was her driving since I would have been impossible to insure when and if I did get my license at 16 years old. It's not really a story that comes up often, but I have always felt terrible that it went on her driving record.

Ever since that accident I've made it a point to be a safe driver and 8 years later have not been in another car wreck (knock on wood).

8.) From Czentis:

I had a long boarding accident a year ago and I ended up injuring myself pretty badly. I got tendinitis in my ankle from a previous complication, bursitis in my hip and I needed 8 stitches in my face. My boss would always tell me, "ya know one day you're gonna fall off that thing and seriously injure yourself." So I lied and said I fell while chasing a dog down a hill. Now he kind of pities me and let's me take it easy if my hip starts to act up

9.) From htdlr:

Went to my Aunt's house for Thanksgiving and she asked me to set the table. Apparently, I did it wrong because she asked me if I was left-handed. I said yes instead of admitting that I don't know how to set a table. From that point on she made several comments about left-handedness and even made sure to orient objects to accommodate me. I had to pretend to use my left hand for the rest of the trip, and to this day, she still believes that I am left-handed.

TL;DR: My aunt thinks I'm left-handed because I can't set a table.

10.) From nerbulaVapor:

"Why don't you travel? Or even just go down to the USA for a day trip? Gas is cheaper down there, blah blah"

(I live in Canada just on the other side of the border)

I have to make all kinds of excuses like trying to save money by not going on vacations, not having a passport yet, having prior obligations/plans, stuff like that...

The real reason: I've got a criminal record

11.) From Aiku:

I once worked at a large store, and walked up to a co-worker to ask a question. I must have startled her, b/c as I was asking, I noticed a weird look on her face, and suddenly realized that she was peeing herself.

I pretended not to notice, and made some excuse to leave, and came back a little later to see her mopping it up.

I said " Did a customer spill another drink again?" and wandered off.

I told all my coworkers that a customer had spilled soda all over the floor in her department.

12.) From Imagummiebear:

I screwed up university (I had some medical issues to begin with and then I got lazy and had no idea what I was doing when i came too) and now I can't go back, I have to come clean soon, but I can't bear the shame, nor do I have any idea of how to tell my parents.

13.) From bfilmmaker:

My wife and I were at my parents' house helping them organize things in the attic. My wife slipped at one point and stepped right through the bedroom ceiling. I picked her back up and I could hear my parents yelling "What was that? What happened?". She started crying because she's always trying to impress my parents, so I yelled down " I stepped through the ceiling, sorry!" and took the blame. Years later, My family still makes fun of me for the incident. I just look over at my wife and wink.

14.) From Connor53:

I came up with a lie so I wouldn't have to go to my sister's friend's surprise party. I told her I had some homework to finish up that was due that night. There was no assignment. I just didn't feel like going. My sister came over and said I should at least sign the card. My sister then very strongly suggested that her friend really likes me. So now I do want to go but I already told the lie. So now I back track saying that the assignment was almost done and I could turn it in now for a 90. I go to the party. We hook up 3 days later and I'm still dating her. The annoying part is whenever anyone tells the story of how we got together. They say that I got a lower grade on an assignment so I could see her. I really want to correct it, but there is no graceful way I can think of to do so.

15.) From captaincrunk82:

I work as a bar manager, and both my boss and I are military vets. Actually, that's mostly how I got the job. We struck up a conversation and I discussed my time in the service.

Except that my 6-year enlistment ended at around 3 years, 2 months. I didn't go AWOL/UA or drink myself stupid. Mostly, I would oversleep and I was a shithead in my early 20s. Not my finest hour. I left with a General Discharge, so I still had college paid for in Texas, but very few know about this.

I couldn't reveal this, and honestly, the lie has manifested into the status quo - everything I have has been predicated upon a lie. My jobs, my girlfriend (who's a veteran), and even a good amount of friends have no clue.

16.) From thiscrazyginger:

Not me, but my roommate freshman and sophomore years at college was put on academic probation for failing, and lost her full-ride scholarship. She was too afraid to tell her parents, so she started stripping to pay tuition. Last time I talked to her, she never finished college, is still at the strip club, and her parents still think she's a graduate that just can't find a job.

17.) From hairlessknee:

I was in a rush to get to school one morning and did not realize our second car was directly behind the car I was driving. I rammed into the back end of that car and broke the license plate. So I then had to take that car to prevent my mom from seeing it. I told my friend that my brother got in a fender bender and I told my mom that my friend (the same friend) broke it by failing at a dukes and hazards type slide on top of my car. So now they think all of my friends are irresponsible and overweight.

18.) From why_I-dont_have_a_ca:

Q: why don't I have a car?

A: well I could either afford a car or my own place...

real answer: DUI

19.) ​​​​​​​From ThasphiresOfTarth:

That I cant smell anything. I told my best friend that in third grade to sound cool. The problem is that He has a photographic memory. Im trained to never make a comment about smells. My parents even think i cant smell. They paid for a doctor to look at it. The doctor said "oh sometimes this happens its probably nothing to worry about." Worst doctor ever. I cant get out of it. Ever. Im stuck :(

"Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place."

-Paul Gray

If you're a cat owner you will definitely lol at these hilarious memes. Cats have always ruled the Internet by being wonderfully weird creatures and this list proves that fact is still extremely true.

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Co-parenting can be tough, especially when you don't agree on the basics like nutrition, where to spend the holidays — oh, and of course, whether or not your kids should become reality TV stars.

A man has taken to Reddit to ask for advice after he denied his ex's request to let her and their two sons have their own reality TV show. The wife is annoyed because this reality show was a one-way ticket to a seven-figure salary. And the dad's annoyed because he doesn't want his kids on a reality show.

The dad confirms that the wife's reality TV career is fake, fake, fake:

My ex is a B-list reality TV personality. Obviously there is no respectable middle-aged woman who does reality TV. But I cut her slack because it's all fake and she is playing a character that people believe is real. I never had an issue but over the last few years, she's been more outrageous. Showing more skin, more drama, fake fights, etc. That's what she has to do to stay relevant.

As a Bravo fan, I'm going to pretend I didn't read that detail.

She's been offered the chance to do a spinoff show about her personal life:

Our sons are 9 and 12 and are becoming more aware and ashamed of her even though it's a "character." She was offered a lot of money to do a show about her and her personal life. This includes having our kids on camera. It would be all fake with scripts and prompting.

The boys aren't that excited about it, even though it would be totally scripted and, again, fake:

My kids have mixed feelings between faking scenes but being paid. I asked my ex what scenes they thought about doing and it was stupid shit like my youngest fake falling off his bike and she rushes over to comfort him to my 12yo checking out his "babysitter" who is actually an actress.

The kids are actually kind of okay with it, he says, as long as they don't look dumb:

They would do it for the money, but my 9yo doesn't want to fake things like injuring himself and my 12yo isn't even remotely curious about girls yet. My ex assured me that the kids wouldn't be portrayed as a klutz or a thirsty middle school boy, but I don't believe her.

Still, the dad put the kibosh on the show, and now the mom is upset:

I told her I was not comfortable with that and I would not sign a release to let them appear on the shoe. That means she doesn't get a show. That means no seven figure payday. She is livid at me and has very crying all day.

Unfortunately for the mom, most of Reddit (and probably the world) agrees that the dad is absolutely doing the right thing.

CozyCosey points out that childhood fame is usually not a blessing:

In my personal opinion children shouldn't be on reality TV. There are a lot of stories of child stars gone bad. Not to mention your kids dont seem interested besides getting paid. She needs to respect your decision as the other parent and find another gig.

Ranting-Pacifist points to the most terrifying example:

Look where reality got honey boo boo’s family. Her mom is going down a bad path and poor Alana has her mother’s breakdown all on tv a long with her making mistakes because she’s a upset kid who doesn’t have her old mother anymore and she doesn’t know what to do. She’s gonna be known as that for the rest of her life.

Toobrokeforpizza agrees that the kids shouldn't be on TV, but doesn't think this guy's gonna win father of the year either:

[Everyone sucks here] except for your kids. You aren’t the asshole for not signing off for the show. You’re an asshole for how you talk about your children’s mother. That’s something they notice, whether you think they do or not, and it will affect them. Your ex is an asshole for how she reacted. She comes across as very selfish and entitled.

Parranna also points out that the man is pretty disrespectful of his ex's career:

Not an a-hole for saying no about your kids but you seem like a huge d*** when you talk about her. You literally said she’s not respectable. That attitude will rub off on your kids and soon she’ll think you’re turning them against her instead of listening to their opinions

So there you have it: the people of the internet rule that kids shouldn't go on reality shows, but exes should be respectful of each other's career choices.

Every family is different, and every family has different crazy rules to keep things together amid chaos.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to name the craziest, funniest rules in their households from growing up. The responses prove there's no such thing as a normal family.

1. Every family needs a safe word.

We're all incredibly sarcastic and kinda rude to each other. It's how we show love but to avoid any actual hurt feelings if anyone ever says the exact phrase 'stop teasing' it's over and everyone apologises. Grew up with this rule and trust me kindergarten was a rough awakening when bullies don't bend over backwards at my magic phrase.

Overall good way to grow up goofing around and joking with family but make sure no one is actually offended when you roast them nonstop over something stupid. - Red-Stiletto

2. Yelling at ducks sounds fun.

My rule for walks: Every duck you see must be confronted about their various love affairs. A lone male duck? "Sir??? Sir are you aware of where your wife is???" I have gotten every person I've walked with in on this joke/rule.

And in case you're curious, ducks are all having affairs, squirrels you can only get for tax evasion, and geese are always up for a turf war. - Commonsenseloveaffair

3. Some families have a lifelong game of hide-the-whatever.

If you find the gnome, you hide the gnome. - teenage_dirtbag_03

4. Sounds like a cutthroat cake situation in this household.

The last slice of birthday cake belongs to the person whose birthday it was made to celebrate. Not strange in and of itself, strange in that my family had to actively spell it out. - EradiKate

5. I can hear the groans now.

Most of the shows we watch are recorded live, and then watched later in the week.

Mother cannot control the remote, as she will skip the commericials and go 5 minutes further, then spend just as long getting back to the correct stop as it would have been to watch the commercials in the first place. - Rolling_Gear

6. Ingenious.

No one tells mom that my sister and I didn’t buy our graduation photos and just framed the sample photo with the huge watermark. Been four years and she hasn’t noticed - tired-fire-ants

7. What a nice dad.

Don't bother dad while he's eating.

I was a stay at home dad and did most of the cooking. After dishing up and serving everyone, I'd plate my food just in time for everyone to come back for seconds, which i would dish up for them. After a couple years of eating lukewarm food (and the kids were big enough to dish up their seconds) I made the rule so I could actually have a hot meal. I still enforce this rule. - verminiusrex

8. Who's up for a little dog hazing?

My family always has 2 dogs, you may insult the younger dog as much as you want, but you must never insult the elder dog. - Wombat--Combat

9. This is a pretty sound rule.

We have a "First Day" rule. You are not allowed to ask to play with or use any toys/items of your siblings on the first day they receive them. So birthdays and holidays that you get presents, you do not have to share with the others. And if they try, you get to yell "First Day!" - xylophonefox

10. Hey, whatever it takes for you to enjoy your java.

When eating a meal together, we have a certain sitting arrangement. But when drinking a coffee, me and my mum swich seats. Same table, different arrangement. - Chibeyond

11. Smart cat.

If you wake up early to go to the bathroom, and you feed the cat, you feed him by the front door so we all know he ate. Otherwise he'll scam the next person out of a second breakfast. And sometimes a third person - s-delta

12. This is a cute one.

Youngest person that knows how to read hands out the Christmas presents. - msrariden

13. Well, this only makes sense.

If you are the last person to leave the house you need to put the radio on for the cat - SuperCoffeePowersGo

14. Sometimes this is the only way to get them to leave.

When a guest leaves you need to walk out to their car with them no matter what the weather. We were taught its a sign of care and respect for the guests. - sunnypamom

15. Sounds like a fun, relaxed tradition...

When there are multiple dessert options after a large family meal, the lime jelly must be included in the options offered to everyone, but nobody may accept the lime jelly. Only my stepdad may have the lime jelly. - MerylSquirrel

16. Very wholesome.

I wouldn’t call it a rule.. more of a tradition. Every Christmas eve, after dinner and the presents etc, my mom ( sometimes against our will )turns off the power in the house and makes us all play hide-and-go-seek for at least 30 minutes. Some years we are all into it, some years we aren’t. But I never regret playing afterwards. It’s great memories for the smaller folks and it’s lots of laughs for the older ones. Overall would recommend. - Montrealgirl

17. Don't feed gremlins at night, either.

no sweeping or mopping at night

Mom & dad claim its bad luck but I know it's cuz they're tired of us quickly doing our chores as they pull up in the driveway - foopiez

"If you don't learn to laugh at life it'll surely kill you, that I know."

-Brom

Sometimes you just need a laugh. If this is one of those times, you are in luck. This list is packed with ridiculously funny memes that will keep you laughing until lunchtime.

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They say everyone gets their fifteen minutes of fame, but what about one minute?

We've all seen a weird commercial or a particularly interesting background actor and wondered...how did this happen? Did they call their mom when they "got the gig?" Are they ok? Do they laugh about this with all their friends at happy hour or is it a deep, dark secret they hope nobody close to them ever discovers?

So, when Chrissy Teigen asked her Twitter fans to share their brief, albeit dumb, moments in the spotlight, people definitely delivered. Remember, if someone is taking your photo--ask where it'll end up! You never know when your face is going to be plastered all over town without your knowledge...

Enjoy! This thread is magical.

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Later, Chrissy responded:

Always looking out!

People have a lot of complicated feelings about pregnancy.

Some reflexively rejoice when they hear news of a pregnancy, eagerly excited to meet the new baby and see their loved one embrace motherhood. Others feel nothing about pregnancy and babies alike, but experience an awkward pressure to emote that doesn't translate convincingly. There are women who feel triggered with sadness about their own fertility struggles, miscarriages, and wrought history with pregnancy, but push through to be there for others.

Then, there are those who manage to make someone else's pregnancy about themselves, everything else be damned.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a pregnant woman asked if she's wrong for cutting off her brother and sister-in-law after finding out the sister-in-law is angry about her pregnancy.

AITA for not wanting to speak to my brother and SIL after SIL said I stole her spotlight by getting pregnant?

OP shared that she's four months pregnant with her ex's baby, and while he's decided to forgo parental responsibilities, she's decided to move forward with the pregnancy.

I’m(25F) currently 28 weeks pregnant. I was dating the father but we broke up for various reasons and he has chosen not to be in the baby’s life. I’m doing the best I can to get by. I currently live with my parents, paying them rent and working.

When OP announced her pregnancy most of the family was supportive, but her sister-in-law was quick to suggest that abortion might've been a better option.

My older brother (27M), got married last year and I don’t exactly get along with my SIL, but not for lack of trying. When I announced my pregnancy, none of my family was exactly thrilled, but they rallied around me and were supportive. My SIL has made comments like “are you sure you’re ready?” and “I would’ve gotten an abortion”. The first didn’t bother me so much but the second sort of did. I ended up just writing it off as, we all have different reactions to an unplanned pregnancy.

While bothered, OP decided to write off her sister-in-law's initial comments, chalking it up to the different ways people respond to unplanned pregnancy.

Recently, my mom was FaceTiming with my brother and SIL as she made dinner. I was in the living room and could hear the conversation, but wasn’t paying attention until I heard my mom mention something about the baby. Then my SIL said “It’s not fair” and my mom asked what’s not. And my SIL said “That she’s giving the family the first grandchild before us, we’re married, it should’ve been us. She stole our spotlight.”

However, tensions came to a head when OP overheard her sister-in-law accuse her of stealing the "spotlight" by having the first grandchild.

Now, I had talked to my brother when I got pregnant about him and SIL having kids. He said they weren’t trying for another few years. And that tracked with what SIL has always said about wanting to be in her 30s before she has kids. So, it’s not like they’re trying and can’t. She’s just mad that I got pregnant before they wanted to.

This all went down in the background of a Facetime call with OP's mom, and while OP could hear her mom defend her, her brother remained silent and deferred to his wife's opinion of the pregnancy.

This hurt. My mom defended me, my brother didn’t. He was quiet. I told my mom I overheard and she told my brother. He tried reaching out to defend SIL but all he said was I had to see why she would want to have the first grandbaby. I just said until she apologized and he learns to stick up for his sister, I’m not speaking to either of them.

Since overhearing that conversation, OP stopped talking to her brother and sister-in-law, and doesn't plan on resuming the relationship until they stop villainizing her.

My dad says I’m being unfair and causing family drama, that I should just forgive and move on. I say no. I’m seriously debating if I want her around my kid unless she apologizes. Am I being an a*s?

While OP's dad thinks she should forgive and forget, OP believes this behavior is a major red flag that serves as a warning about how they'd act around her unborn child.

prple_ppl_eater thinks OP should definitely follow her gut.

NTA. Honestly after the abortion comment I would have cut her off.

Soccerlover55 thinks OP's sister-in-law is red flag city, and the whole family should run.

NTA. She wanted you to have an abortion so that she could have the first grandchild??? Good luck to your brother.

polite-potato pointed out just how badly OP is being gaslighted, and encouraged her to keep her brother and his wife distanced as long as needed.

NTA. Regarding your father...I’m sick of hearing people say “just forgive and move on” when it has nothing to do with them! He wants you to move in because your feelings are inconvenient and that attitude is ridiculous! Internet strangers have your back so don’t back down!

lavender_and_teal thinks OP's sister-in-law is profoundly immature, and keeping her at a distance is the only way to go.

NTA. Your SIL seems like a jealous b*tch honestly. This whole idea of “stealing the spotlight” is ridiculous. The pregnancy wasn’t planned, big deal. Life isn’t a competition. It does not matter who gives the first grandchild. The SIL is just mean and seeking attention. She’s the one creating drama.

While it feels abundantly clear that the internet is in OP's corner, the real issue at hand is whether other family members will have her back and reject the sister-in-law's immaturity, or whether they'll allow it to fester into a toxic family dynamic.

For better or for worse, children are always listening.

Kids pick up on the vocabulary of the adults around them, absorbing four letter words and various anatomical terms.

Someone on Reddit asked, "What's the most hilarious/inappropriate thing you've ever seen a child do?"

It turns out that kids are as curious about sex as adults.

1. The thread kicked off with the tale of an 8-year-old who may or may not know what a blowjob is.

So my boyfriend was turning 18 or something, and I decided it would be a totally brilliant idea to have a pizza party at Pizza Hut for him. I invited a few people, and my mom and eight-year-old brother were there. We get through dinner. We stand up and go to pay the bill. My brother for some reason loudly announces to the entire dining area, "Hey, I'll give you a blowjob for your birthday!" F*cking. Crickets -- for about five seconds anyway.

My boyfriend was understandably horrified. He stammered for a second and say, "N-no, that's okay, dude..." very quietly, as my friends and I lost our shit. We had tears. My brother then got really belligerent about it. "I'm serious, I will! Why don't you want my blowjob?!" My mom quickly crammed some money into the cashier's hand, yanked her change back out, and then grabbed him by the arm and drug him outside, as he cried because his gift was rejected, still yelling, "Let me give you a blowjob!"

-Tishbite

2. Well, he said "please."

My girlfriend's nephew (6 at the time) was at a restaurant once and yelled "Attention Everyone! PLEASE EXPOSE YOUR ANUS!!" She nearly died laughing.

-civilgorilla

3. If only they came off (and on).

When I was babysitting two girls, ages 4ish and 1ish, I was cleaning up after their lunch when the older sister asked me, "How do you put on your breasts?"
"You mean...my bra?"
"No, your breasts. (*poke*) How do they go on?"
I eventually figured out that she thought that boobs came with a bra. I ended up just saying, "That's a Mommy question" because I knew she'd forget by the time the mom got home.

-SkyOfTheSky

4. A Public Service Announcement:

I have a movie night at work where all the kids have dinner and watch a movie. One of the 4 year old boys stood up as soon as the movie began, and said loud and proud in front of the whole group, "I have an announcement." I allowed the announcement: "I have a hole in my penis." I was very shocked and couldn't pull him away before he finished his sentence with "...and its bleeding."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that one.

-mem0402

5. Welcome to the club, kid.

At Thanksgiving dinner with whole extended family....

7-year old girl: "Aww, I missed it!"

Mother: "Missed what, honey?"

Girl: "The phone stopped vibrating. When it vibrates I like to hold it up to my privates."

All relatives: "ಠ_ಠ"

Girl: "Why is everyone looking at me? It feels good!"

-HarmonicJourney

6. An impressive vocabulary.

When I was 7 my older brother told me to tell the following joke to all my relatives during Thanksgiving dinner:

A man comes home from work one day and sees his girlfriend heading out the door of their house with her bags packed. He asks where she's going and she says, "I'm leaving you because I just found out that you're a pedophile." He responds, "that's a pretty big word for a ten year old."

I had no idea what it meant, but I was eager enough for attention to tell it regardless. Half of my family cracked up and the other half just stared at me in disbelief. We haven't brought it up since.

-TellahTheSage

7. A less impressive vocabulary.

I coach the 3-7-year-olds for our summer swim team. This past summer, a 3-year-old girl jumped into the pool. When she surfaced, her face bore a pained expression. "What's wrong, Natalie?" I asked. Loud and proud, she cried "I HURT MY PENIS!"

-Bookshelfstud

8. A caring and considerate pooper.

I was walking home from the bus-stop and saw the little (3-4 year old) neighbor kid squatting in his yard but couldn't really tell what he was doing. So I shouted to him to ask. He responded, "I'm pooping out here, this way no one inside can smell it"

-thewormauger

9. Pray ball.

[My sister] got up and stood on the pew during mass while everyone was praying and sang, "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the top of her lungs and did so until my dad carried her out the door.

Most entertaining mass EVER.

-ANUS_MANGLER

10. Yippee ki yay, chicken.

I work in daycare. One time we were coloring turkeys for Thanksgiving when one of the 4 year old children paused, looked up at me and said "This chicken is a bad motherf**ker." Then she went right back to coloring.

-alamkin82

11. Boys never stop making such statements.

When my son was 3, we were in the car with the realtor on the way to get the water in our new house turned on for the inspection. There was a lull in the conversation and all the sudden my son pipes up from the back of the car: "My penis is SO big right now!" and the realtor about drives off the road, he was laughing so hard. He had a 2 year old son so he knew all about it so it wasn't too awkward.

-aerynmoo

12. But is Grandpa a nymphomaniac?

My young cousin one time ran up to me and started screaming "I'm a nymphomaniac, just like Grandpa!"

He meant hemophiliac. He isn't a hemophiliac.

-rotinaj_janitor

13. It's the circle of life.

A couple of years ago my father in law got lung cancer. He was told, and we all believed, that it had been caught early enough and he was going to beat it. A couple of months later it had spread through out his body and into his brain. He was terminal.

We were really up front with our kids, 6 and 4 at the time, about what was happening with their grandfather. We were driving in every weekend so he could see the kids while he was still coherent.

As we were leaving one Sunday evening, the kids went into his bedroom to say goodbye. The 4 yo said "Good-bye Grandpa. I hope I don't get brain cancer."

Then at the funeral, my kids were talking with my nieces (who are just about the same age). One of them said, "I wish we could take Grandpa home with us." Another one said, "We can't. He's going to start stinking in a little bit."

-ajl_mo

14. In her defense, the muffin was a jerk.

When my little sister was about 5 or 6 she was experimenting with the word "f*ck." My dad and I were sitting in the kitchen and my dad had his back to my sister. He starts to tell me "hey buddy, your sister got in trouble at school for saying fuck, try not to laugh if you--" and in the middle of his sentence, my eyes snap to my little sister who just dropped a muffin on the floor. She looks down at the muffin, puts her hands on her hips and yells "F*ckin' Muffin!!!" My dad and I had tears from laughing so hard. Couldn't have timed it better.

-MrGreeves

15. A cinematic classic.

My wife, my 3 year old son, and I walk over the neighbors house; a very sweet woman who just adores my son. As soon as she opens the door and we walk in, my son looks up at her and says "Don't fuck with the babysitter!" (We had recently seen "Adventures in Babysitting")

-quark2universe

16. Child prodigies learn anatomy early.

I used to babysit these two little girls. One night they were taking a bath and pretending to be dogs.

Girl 1: I'm a doggy! Look at my nipples!

Girl 2: No you're not! Dogs don't have nipples! I'm the only dog!

Girl 1: Nuh uh, you have a vulva!

Me, fearing a fight: It's ok, you can both be dogs.

Girl 1: Oh. ...Can I watch you go to the bathroom?

-picklespizzapie

17. A realistic way of playing house.

I was working in a preschool. We had the block area set up with toy dinosaurs for the kid to play with in their buildings. A girl was sitting in the block area playing with two dinosaurs, one larger and one smaller. A little boy walks over and asks her for one. She hands over the bigger one and says, "OK, but I need you to know you're my baby's daddy."

-constant_craving

18. Oops.

I remember myself at a very young age at a department store with my mom. I had never seen a "little person" before, but sure enough one was our cashier. I looked in amazement and said, loudly, "I THOUGHT KIDS WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE JOBS!"

Mom was understandably embarrassed.

-blademak

19. You've been warned.

I was teaching a class and this kid climbs up onto the round table and says, "Everybody be quiet or I'm going to pee on everyone counterclockwise!"

-imalittleweird

If you were born before 1995, then you likely remember scouring Craigslist for good deals, or listing your own items for sale to strangers on the internet.

While there are countless Craigslist transactions that go down safely and uneventfully, the stories of weirdos and stranger danger are far more interesting.

In a popular Reddit thread, people jumped on to share their Craigslist stories gone wrong, and it's a time capsule of web weirdos.

1. From grasshopper_jo:

Wanted a hamster. Found "free hamsters" on Craigslist. Called the phone number and asked "do you still have any hamsters left?" The lady replied "Oh yeah, I just found some." ....did I hear that right? I must have misheard it. When I arrived at her house, there were several cages filled with hamsters.

She wasn't an intentional animal hoarder. She started out with two or three hamsters. But one of the hamsters escaped, and it was pregnant. They started breeding in her walls like rodents, and every time she would find one, she would put it in a cage. When I arrived at her house, there were about 100 hamsters - in the walls, under the couch. Her house was infested with hamsters. She was genuinely overwhelmed and had no idea how to take care of the problem.

I gave her the phone number for a small animal rescue. They removed all the hamsters. I adopted two, Peanut and Teeny Bean. Teeny Bean had a massive facial tumor, one black eye, and one white eye (he was born without one and his eyeball socket filled with some kind of gel). The vet said these were cosmetic and he was otherwise fine. He was the ugliest hamster ever, and he loved to snuggle.

tl;dr I went to adopt a hamster, and the reason she was giving them away was that her house had a massive hamster infestation.

2. From Howley7:

I went to buy a N64 with a ton of games and a few controllers for $100, he told me to meet him at a Walmart not far from my school, so I went after the school day. He told me that morning that he had a cherry red mustang and to meet him at it at 3 o'clock. I pulled into the Walmart and there has to be three or four cop cars around a cherry red Mustang. The guy was sitting on the curb while they took out a bunch of sh*t from his car. He had like two pounds of marijuana on him and some other stuff.

I was sad, I really wanted the N64.

3. From squiggyshuman:

Yes! I foolishly let a strange guy come to my house to buy a used iPad, I advertised on Craigslist, for his son. He handed me $40 less in cash than I asked in my ad, saying it was all the cash he had, and that he figured it was a fair price. When I refused to accept what he offered, he became irate, red in the face, slapped my table with his palm, said I was being greedy, and that everyone selling on Craigslist "negotiates" their asking price. I tried to calm him down by saying that I had only had the ad in for one day, and I would be glad to call him if I couldn't sell it for my asking price.

He angrily decided he still wanted it, and left to go to his bank to get the $40, slamming my door behind him so hard that the house shook. As soon as he left, I texted him not to come back, because I had changed my mind about selling the iPad after all. He texted me back apologizing, but I never responded. I felt really relieved that I got him out of my house, and also, really stupid for allowing him to come in.

4. From venomftr:

Not terribly wrong, but my GF and I arranged to buy a couch off of a couple in a fairly bad neighborhood. After a hassle of trying to find the place we get in the apartment, the couch is in REALLY good condition, and it was retail listed for $1200 we were paying $500. They were moving the next day and really needed to sell it.

As I'm carrying one of the sections of the couch out with the guy i see a bug scuttle across the couch. The guy flicks it off with a quickness. And looks at me with the most apprehensive stare ever. Long story short the couch was absolutely infested with roaches, like I'm talking thousands INSIDE THE COUCH. They knew.

EDIT* since this seems to be a common question, no I did not keep the roach infested couch, I got my money back right there and left the couch outside where it belonged, they didn't put up much of a fight about giving me my money back, and I guess the story isn't clear, but I had them cut open the bottom of the couch and roaches poured out.

5. From notelizabeth:

I love ferrets and I was in the market for a pair. (I owned one when I was younger) I always check Kajiji for people who bought a new pet and ended up in over their head (I know shelter animals are still being fed).

I saw the perfect post "Free to a good home- got daughter ferrets, doesn't like them cause they bite". Figured they would still be trainable and the pick up was in a nice part of town. I get to the house and its a big nice house. So far so good.

The lady invites me in and says the ferrets are downstairs, I get inside and its just wall to wall of toys. Her ten year old daughter comes round the corner and its unbelievable how similar her daughter looks like Veruca Salt in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie. It doesn't surprise me how much she acts like the kid in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at all. She starts screaming and hitting her mom for trying to get rid of the ferrets.

The mom doesn't even notice her daughter punching her. Then I notice all the animals in the house. There's like a billion hamster cages I see from the walk to the front door to the basement. They are all stuffed with bunnies and guinea pigs and hedgehogs and gerbils and hamsters and degus and chinchillas. It's obvious that this spoiled brat got a pet every time she went to a pet store and the retarded parents just assumed they all go in hamster cages and eat pellets. I get to the basement and there's four budgies flying around loose and then there's a dog kennel.

The lady said the ferrets were in the dog kennel. There were five ferrets in the dog kennel. Apparently they had "bought her the whole litter before figuring out that they were so bitey". She was trying to give me five ferrets in a shit covered dog kennel. None of them were vaccinated for rabies or distemperment. I declined and left the house through "the reptile room" full of poor animals without heat lamps and immediately called animal services. I can't believe people like that exist.

6. From SUSANISNOTABITCH:

Not me, but a friend. He was selling a graphing calculator and arranged to meet the buyer at a shopping center. The buyer wanted to test it out, but it didn't have batteries. My friend agreed to ride to a grocery store with him to pick up batteries. On the way back to where they originally met, buyer took the calculator to test it out. He plays with it for a minute, agrees it is in good condition, and passes it back to my friend.

On the screen, the buyer had typed "you are kidnapped". My friend finishes reading it, buyer locks doors and speeds up. Friend panics. Then the buyer stops, laughs, gives my friend money, let's him out and tells him to be more careful. Almost a Raymond K. Hessle kind of thing I guess.

7. From Tapeworms:

I went to buy a semi-rare videogame (Final Fantasy Tactics, before it became a Greatest Hit). Met this girl in a Wendys parking lot, she gave me the cd case. I opened it, and it was empty. I demanded my $20 back, she looked at me and said if I did anything other than leave, she would lie and say I assaulted her.

I pulled out my phone and started to pretend to record her (my cell at the time had no camera) and she started stumbling around, pretending I had attacked her. After a minute if this silliness, our eyes met and I think she realized how ridiculous this was getting, and gave me my money back.

8. From thepigwanker:

Two of my roommates went to purchase a couch from someone living on the third floor of an apartment building. They paid for the couch but, somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd floors, got it stuck so badly in the stairwell they decided to cut their losses and just leave it there.

9. From Phantom_Scarecrow:

I was selling a 1996 Dodge Avenger. I hadn't driven it much the past year, and it had been sitting for about 4 months, so I got rid of it before it was a total loss. I'd put 2 new tires, front brakes, and alignment on it a year earlier, so it had a few hundred miles on the tires. I took it for inspection, and the guy informed me that the radiator cross-member, rear drivers' shock mount, and drivers' rocker were rusted out. It passed, but would need work.

I advertised it for $800. One guy stopped by- he lived nearby. He gave me a story about not having much money, needed a car to get to work, etc. He and his friend took it for a TWO HOUR test drive. (They left the friend's very expensive truck, so I wasn't worried that they weren't coming back.) I had already explained everything I knew to be wrong with the car. The buyer started pointing out (known) problems, and offered me $250. I got $380 as a price. We were to meet in a few days for the transfer.

I met him at a trailer sales office nearby, even though I offered to go to AAA, because it would be cheaper. He said, "I took the car to a mechanic, he said (KNOWN PROBLEMS) were wrong, how about I give you $300? I said no, he was already getting it for less than half my asking price, and about what it was worth in scrap. We did the transfer (He had us say it was a "Gift in exchange for some work", so he wouldn't have to pay sales tax), and it cost him $200, even though AAA would have charged $75.

Three weeks later, the buyer called me. He claimed that the head gasket was bad, and the car had broken down. He wanted to know what I was going to do about it. I said, Look, you bought a car off the side of the road, for almost nothing, I can't offer anything. If I had known it had a bad gasket I would have scrapped it. (It occurred to me later that if the head gasket had been bad, the mechanic should have found it when he took it over there originally.) He hung up, then for the next three days called me 5 times a day. I didn't answer, and he didn't leave messages.

A week later I saw the car in a local shopping center lot. (It had a dent, so I knew it was mine.) He was just trying to scam me.

10. From Missesa:

I was selling a pair of gogo boots on CL, and I had a guy tell me he would purchase them if I modeled in nothing but the boots for him.

11. From Inspector-34:

It was a few weeks before my Junior year of College so this was 2010. I wanted to sell an old couch from my previous house because we were getting two new roommates and they already had couches. I posted the ad and 15 minutes later I got an e-mail. The guy said he would pay 75 for the couch (I had listed it at 100) but would bring some Xbox games to trade to make up the difference. Okay nice.

So he pulls up in a truck with two women in the bed. I insist on helping him get the couch outside but he says no and has the two women do it. Then, it gets interesting. He says he only has $50 but if I took the money, he would "give" me one the girls for 20 minutes. Keep in mind, he told me this as the couch is sitting in his truck. I didn't know what to say. I took the $50 and said to just leave. He was insulted for some reason and threatened to come back and "beat my a*s and rob me blind." We moved to our new house the next day with our new roommates.

Fast forward a month I read in my school's newspaper and on the front page was a picture of my old street with the headline "Man arrested intimidating students at a party with a crow bar." My old residence. I read on. His name was Bruce and his criminal background included 17 misdemeanors and a dropped rape and attempted kidnapping charge. Also, just as icing on the cake, he was also wanted in Ohio on numerous stalking charges. Craigslist...never again.

12. From ShawnisMaximus:

Not Craigslist but kijiji (same idea, different site). A couple years ago I was buying some DVDs from a guy. I had drank too much the night before and was having a hellish hangover but decided to go get the DVD's anyways. He was on the sketchy side of town. Anyways I pull up to his house. It is a five-plex (five attached houses) and there is a note on the front door to go to the back. So I go to the back and there are these three gangster lookin' guys mid-day drunk and some cracked out girl with her shirt tied up, barely covering her and in short shorts. They all stop what they are doing and stare at me.

"Uhmm are you selling the DVDs?" I ask, sweating beneath my dorky spider-man t-shirt.

"DVD's? Nah man don't have any of those. Want some crack?" Says the largest one, flexing his muscles.

"Uhh no thanks"

"What about my girl here?"

"What do you mean?" My face is dripping sweat at this point.

"You wanna take her home?"

"Uhmm no thanks I saw this ad on kijiji-"

"Why not? You think she's ugly?" he stands up and looks at me menacingly while I stammer and then says "ahhh I'm just f*ckin' with you man. No DVDs. Sure you don't want no crack?"

"No. Okay I gotta go cya" and then I turned around and got the hell out of there.

13. From z0mbiegrl:

I bought a 360 from a craigslist ad. The kid selling it was like 17. We met at a public location (Starbucks) at my request. I handed him the money, he handed me the 360. Then he asked me if he could buy me a coffee. I declined. He asked me if I wanted to go out sometime. I declined, thanked him for the Xbox, and left.

Well, unfortunately, he had my phone number and email address, as I had responded to his ad. He started sending me these long, angst filled teenage emails about how he was "in love" with me, and I was his destiny, and texting me dozens of times a day...

14. From MLBClubbie:

Oh yeah. I needed Microsoft Office and noticed that people sold the program for cheap on Craigslist. One guy 20 minutes away was selling the program of 20 bucks. Told me to meet at his house late at night when he got home from work. Ended up being in a sketch dead end street, and told me to come in his garage, where him and a couple of his buddies were smoking inside.

This was my first thought of "this is kind of weird." After I took my laptop out and putting it on the table, one of his buddies tried to close the garage door on me. I realized what was happening so I tried to grab the laptop and hit the sensors to leave. The dude tried to grab the laptop same time and ended up being a quick tug of war with him. I let go and hit the sensors and decided to just leave and call the cops. They hid the laptop but I was able to use the "Find My iPhone" app which finds laptops too and got it back. I don't know how the guy thought he would get away with it.

EDIT: Screen shots of text conversation I found OneTwo

EDIT: Okay guess I should've pirated it, or whatever Libreoffice is. Either way not going to CL i'm going to Reddit.

15. From ZenRage:

I called a woman to buy a heavy bag from her. She said "the price today is $35.00." I said sounds good, but I don't think I can get there today. Can I come get it tomorrow? She said, yes.

I get there the next morning, and offer her the $35.00 (two twenties) and say, we said $35.00, right? She said, that was the price yesterday. Today it's $40.

I stopped and said, "You're joking right?"

She said "No, $40 is the price today."

I turned around to leave and she got upset saying, something like I agreed to buy it, we had a deal, she stayed home so I could pick it up etc. I said,"That was before the price was $40. I offered you $35 and you said 'no'. Sell it to the guy who agreed to pay $40. Goodbye."

She was still b*tching at me as I left.

16. From BirdTree:

Alright, I got a prime story, that made me learn a lot about using craigslist. First off, I grew up in a small rural town and then moved to southern California for college.

So, this is just after the new Iphone had come out and I desperately wanted one, so I found an ad on Craigslist for a guy selling his for about $50 cheaper than everyone else's ads.

I give the guy a call and he tells me that his company has switched to using blackberries and he has no need for the Iphone now, so I agree to go meet up with him, since he seemed to have a fairly straight story...or at least it sounded that way.

So given I'm not familiar with the LA area I drive up and get off on Crenshaw Blvd., on the NE side, drive up about a block from the 405 and take a left and park in front of this big, low income apartment complex, like where he says to meet, this is in the middle of the day right next to a busy street. Now the neighborhood wasn't the best, but I'm a big dude (6'7" 230) so I figure I'll be alright.

I finally get a hold of the supposed "business" dude which turns out to be a little dude that dressed in baggy jean and a big white t-shirt, along with another dude dressed the same.

Now while I was sitting in my truck waiting for this guy to show up I see a guy sitting over in a blue ford focus just staring at me grinning the entire time, which creeped me out and already made me feel uneasy about the situation, and once I saw the "business" guy I knew something wasn't right and decided to get outta there as fast as possible, so I started to walk back to my truck telling him I'm gonna grab my cash for the Iphone.

But when I get into my truck and try to put my keys into the ignition, the other little dude (both about 5'6" 150 at most) jumps into my passenger side and sticks a gun in my waist, saying "no homie, you ain't leavin', gonna need everything you got" now, this was probably stupid on my part, but seeing how this kid was holding the gun all clumsily and it looked more like a metal airsoft gun as opposed to a real gun I decided to reach across open then door and shove him out. I did it so quickly he didn't have time to react and was already outside my passenger door banging on the glass to let him back in.

I figured I was good to go now and could get the hell outta there, but oh no. So I'm assuming when the second guy got thrown out, I was so focused on him I didn't realize the first guy went to go get about 5-6 of his much bigger buddies, which were now all at my drivers side window, which was over half way down. As I turned my head towards them, they all just started reaching into my window throwing punches trying to grab me and pull me out, after which seemed like forever of me trying to dodge punches and still trying to get my keys into the ignition to maybe get my truck goin to get outta this but no go.

After a few good hits they connected with to my head I started to see stars and get dazed and decided as a last ditch effort to throw the cash I had for the Iphone all over the ground outside behind them, they immediately stopped attacking me and ran around picking up all the bills, which gave me the opportunity to get the hell outta there. I did go down a few blocks and realizing I couldn't even see straight I called the LA county sheriff which they came and thought I was part of some drug deal gone bad, but ended up these tweakers did the same thing to 8 other victims and stole their licenses saying if they went to the police they would kil their families. But its all good now, I was able to pick em outta those 6 pack line ups and all of them but the lil dude with the gun are in prison.

Fortunately also, they have to pay me back through their wages they make at prison.

17. From Brettuss:

A MacBook I bought on 2010 almost got me fired from my job.

I scheduled a meeting with a fellow, doucher69, at a Starbucks to sit down and review a MacBook that I wanted to buy. I meet him, it goes fine, we make small talk while I review the computer. I made the unfortunate mistake of telling him I worked for the cable company. He proceeded to tell me of his internet problems, to which I said I would look at his account when I got back to work. He said he had extended coverage on the computer, but that he had forgotten the paperwork. He would be in contact with me when he found it, and we would meet up to make the exchange. I paid him, we shook hands, and I went on my way.

That night, I open up the computer and find that he has not formatted the computer, but simply removed all of his applications. In the contacts application, there is his name, address, and phone number. I write it down in case I ever need to get in contact with him again. I format the computer and install the latest OS on it.

I send a text to doucher69 letting him know that he left his info on the computer, and that I live close to him, and if he ever finds the warranty paperwork, to let me know and I can swing by and pick it up to make it easy for him.

The next day, I pulled up his account to review his repair call history. I didn't find any thing of value, and I didn't really care to help the guy beyond normal troubleshooting, so I closed out of his account and forgot about it.

The next morning, I get a call from HR to come down to their office. They inform me that doucher69 has called in to management and informed them that I unlawfully accessed his account to get his personal information. His wife and child are scared that I might come after them. They also are certain that I have stolen their bank account information. Upon initial investigation, HR has found that I did in fact access his account. At this point, I worked in IT and I had no official business touching customer accounts. HR asked me to show on the computer where his personal info was, but at this point, I had formatted the computer. I was f*cked.

This sort of complaint is taken VERY seriously, and rightfully so - but I was COMPLETELY, 100% innocent. I was dead where I stood. I knew it. HR sends me home...this is a Friday...and they tell me to wait for their call on Monday afternoon while they investigate and decide what my fate is.

At this point in time, my wife is 8 months pregnant and unemployed, so I am the sole income to what is about to be a family of three. I was terrified and felt completely powerless. It was one of the most stressful, long weekends of my life. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, it was constant worry and regret.

I sat down at my cursed MacBook and wrote out a letter of explanation to my boss, my director and to HR. I detailed our entire interaction, include when and where, provided copies of all text messages before and after the purchase, and did my absolute best at explaining the situation from my perspective. It was a Hail Mary and it worked. I was well liked at this job, and people came out of the woodwork to support me - my boss, my bosses boss, previous bosses, all came to my 'rescue' and stood up for my character and work history. It felt awesome.

HR sided with me, however, I was to never contact the customer again. It didn't matter if the computer turned out to be a fake, messed up, whatever - do not contact him ever again. So I didn't. I worked at that job another 3 years until April of this year when I got a new job and moved out of state.

The story was somewhat legendary after that. I should have been fired. 95 times out of 100, HR would have fired any other person on the spot. I have no clue why I was the exception, but I was and I was thankful for it.

After my last day at the cable company, I really wanted to sit down and write a long nasty letter to this guy. I got on Facebook and composed a message, but I chose not to send it. I have no clue what his motivations wer or why he did it, but I had moved on from it and saw no value in confronting him.

LESSONS LEARNED - Never give out your name, use Google Voice to send your texts and NEVER tell them where you work. Review the product, purchase and leave. That's it.

TL;DR - Bought a computer from a dude who called my work and accused me of illegally accessing his account and that his family felt physically threatened. HR put me on paid leave while they investigated. My job was left intact.

18. From kngegypt7:

My friend went to pick up a drum set one time. The lady cut 10 dollars off the price and hit on him. Not sure why he complained.

19. From deadmansstare:

I once tried to sell a used high-end stroller on Craigslist in NYC. I've sold a ton of shit on Craigslist for years and years, but I've never dealt with people like these pregnant moms. Super picky. 100s of emails back and forth. Asking to repeatedly return to my apartment to see the stroller again and again before making a decision. Never showed up to meet. And complaining about the price, which was low.

20. From jaydickchest:

My friend was trying to buy something off Craigslist (Houston if anyone's interested).
he made arrangements to meet somewhere, agreed on a price blah blah blah.
couple minutes later, the guy calls my friend back and says "hey man, don't come. I was just going to rob you, but i heard some kids in the background when we were talking on the phone."

Kids are sometimes secret, hysterical little geniuses...

Every now and then a kid asks a question that makes you rethink the entire nature of the universe. How did you grow up into a fully formed adult without ever wondering if the stars celebrate their birthdays? Or if lions cry? Is their music in the ocean? The imagination of a child is truly remarkable.

Trapped in quarantine with Zoom school and parents as teachers, kids are getting a lot more curious. Cabin fever has brought out some hilarious questions, complaints and general observations from kids and their parents.

So, when professor and mom Kate Bowler, shared the questions that her son asks her every night, people were definitely ready to laugh.

Happy to report that she did document them and they did NOT disappoint.

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It's 1776 all over again.

Americans are making fun of the way British people talk, and it's quite saucy, innit?

Brits and other foreigners are getting their revenge with sassy tweets that make fun of Americans both for what they do AND what they say.

These tweets are bloody good, mate.

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In 2010, following the popularity of Nev Schulman's documentary "Catfish," the world exploded with the term. The relatively modern experience of being tricked by someone on the internet with fake photos now had a name, and hundreds of people came out of the woodwork with their personal Catfishing stories.

Soon after, the popular (and still running) MTV show "Catfish" was born, and now the term is so imbued in the lexicon it's easy to forget it was coined only a decade ago.

While many of us have grown savvy about spotting the red flags for a Catfish, there are still plenty of them out there, tricking people and lying for their own entertainment.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who have been Catfished or interacted with a Catfish shared their stories, and it's truly wild the lengths people go to for a lie.

1. From Hoggiebearz:

Not me but my older brother's best friend. He had been talking to this girl online for a really long time. He was planning on driving to Texas (we live in north Georgia) to visit her. When he told her that he was going to drive over to see her she confessed that she was actually an overweight 43 year old lady. He was 23 at the time. He doesn't like to talk about it...

2. From Actual_Lady_Killer:

Friend and I frequent dating sites. He was catfished once. Her name was Alexis McNally. She was the head RN at a hospital a half hour away making $150,000 a year and was in love with my friend. She was going to fly him to Vegas after 3 weeks of knowing him and they were going to get married. He was happy as hell and thinking of pretty much nothing but the money and the hot pictures she was sending him.

She said she bought him all this stuff and his kids Ipads and computers and that she had a multimillion dollar house she was going to live in with him. He didn't think anything was odd but I did so I did some research. First I called the hospital and they said they never heard of her. Then looked up her phone number which the area code was from Ohio. After a while he wised up and started calling her out on stuff. She ended up sending him a box filled with new American Eagle clothes for him and that was pretty much the end of it.

TL;DR friend got catfished, ended up with a box of free clothes.

3. From VenomousJackalope:

I have not. I have an excellent story of someone who has.

My very good friend Ben's dad has always had an online girlfriend called "Dr. Sam." She was the reason Ben's parents divorced about 12 years ago. I don't know the story of early Dr. Sam, just that she claimed to be a doctor of some kind, and also some kind of cancer.

Steve (Ben's dad) sent Dr. Sam all kinds of money. Enough that his wife divorced him. When those little hands-free phone headsets came out, he got one and was on the phone with her literally every second of the day. She would make him talk to her cats on the phone, and he'd be places like the grocery store, meowing into a headset no one could see.

He tried to visit her many times, but every time he had his tickets squared away, her cancer would come back and she'd need emergency medical treatment, or (I shit you not) her pet tiger would bite her and she'd go to the hospital.

Steve is a high-ranking Naval officer. When he had to go to Afghanistan a few years ago, he sent his cat to live with Dr. Sam. She had it put down immediately, because "he wasn't happy."

Eventually, Dr. Sam claimed to have died.

I wouldn't believe a word of this if Ben's mother hadn't confirmed all of it.

4. From 5arge:

Twice. Both times they were underage but led me to believe they were the same age I was.

The first time, it was a girl who sent me pictures of her older sister, who was around my age. When we finally met for our first date, I realized that she was not the girl from the pictures because she was barely 18 and was enormous compared to the girl I had pictures of. She was apologetic, and explained that she sent me pictures of her sister instead of herself for various reasons. The lie about her age was only a slight problem because she had just turned 18 days before so I wasn't in any legal danger. We remained friends for years.

The second time was the last time I tried to meet a girl online. I was a junior in college and had been talking to this girl a few states away for weeks online. She claimed to be 19 (I was 20) and she was a cute red head in the pics she sent me, so I chatted her up regularly even though she lived far away. At some point, she surprises me with her plan to take a bus out to my university and spend the weekend hanging out and partying with me.

When I picked her up at the bus stop I barely recognized her. She sort of looked like the cute redhead I had pictures of, but waaaaaay younger, like she could be the daughter of the girl I had been talking to online. I played it cool, trying to be a gentleman, but quickly decided that spending the weekend partying with what appears to be a 14-16 year old would be a bad idea. I told her that there were no good parties on the docket and took her home to my parents house where I figured we could lay low until Sunday when I could shuffle her back onto a bus and be rid of the jailbait.

Well, late the next evening while we were sitting on the living room floor watching a movie with my parents, the phone rings. I answered the phone to hear a crying woman pleading to know where her daughter was and if she is ok. That's when it hit me...I was harboring a freakin' teenage runaway. I got the girl on the phone with her mom, and started grabbing all of her stuff and putting in my car. Apparently her mom had found my phone number on their phone bill and traveled to my school looking for her daughter.

I promised to meet her on campus with her daughter ASAP. Well, we didn't even make it out of the driveway before the police cars showed up. The cop looked at me, then pointed to the girl and said, "Is that her?", and I replied, "yeah, take her home man" and that was it. Luckilly for me, I think this girl may have had a history of running away from home because they didn't ask me a single question or anything they just took the girl and left. Then my mom came out into the driveway asking why the cops were there.

I had some 'splainin' to do. And then, when I returned to school, all of my roommates and neighbors told me that the campus police, local police, and state police had been scouring the campus for me and an underage runaway. I spent the next couple weeks explaining to everyone I knew how I got hoodwinked by an internet girl and that the police had the story wrong. It could have gone worse I suppose.

UPDATE: On a whim, I Googled the teenage runaway's name and the state she came from. I never even had the urge until sharing this story with everyone on Reddit. The first article that popped up was a picture of her and it mentioned she graduated high school in the class of '99. I was in the class of '96, so it appears that I was only about 3 years older than her. I was 20 at the time, so she must have been 16 or 17, which would have been perfectly legal in the state I reside in, although morally I may have been leaning towards all wrong. She looks very happy in the pic I saw. I hope she is.

5. From DebateExposesDoubt:

My best friend has Catfished several dudes, back when MySpace was a big thing. She had very complex systems and fake profiles/photos, and she even stole some of my blogs and posted them as her own.

She was significantly larger than the photos she posted (they were stolen from a classmate's profile), and she would meet the guys after months of intimate phone/email conversations, then guilt-trip them into continuing the hang out with her. She told them it was her personality that mattered, don't be shallow, etc. It was some shady sh*t, obviously rooting from deep self-esteem issues. Luckily she grew out of it.

6. From CeeDiddy82:

Yup, once. I think.

A fairly attractive Asian girl started messaging me in a chat room on gay.com. I am lesbian, so the gay.com chatrooms for the women weren't really known for having bots.

She comes on strong and actually shows a lot of interest in me even though I didn't really have much interest in her at first since she was in Florida and I'm in Oklahoma.

I actually start to really like her and think maybe we could really hit it off if we met. We started talking/texting pretty much 24/7.

Then she tells me about how she can't date anyone locally because her dad is a marine engineer and builds multimillion dollar yachts for famous people.

I don't really believe it at first, but she starts mailing me all these fairly expensive things like clothes, flowers, gift cards, etc to 'prove' it, even though I tell her I didn't really want them.

The weird thing is she wouldn't tell me her last name and would be very weird about it, saying if I found it out I could Google it and it'll pull up her dad's yacht business and I could see how rich they really are and she wanted to make sure that I really wanted to be with her and wasn't just in it for the money. Even though she kept sending me gifts without me asking to "prove" her wealth.

She also said she was a head hair stylist at Tony&Guy and made $700/day in tips.

Anyway, one of the gifts she sent the company sent a receipt slip that had her last name on it. I Googled it and nothing really pulled up. Even (name) Yachts, nothing. (Name) yachts Florida, nothing. Nothing at all came up for it.

Things started to seem weird so I called the Tony&Guy she claimed she worked at and asked if I could schedule with her. No one worked there with that name.

I waited a couple days to tell her that her name came on the receipt.

When I did she flipped the f*ck out and said I was crazy and that she was going to stop talking to me anyway because she has cancer then hung up on me and disconnected the number within minutes.

It was so weird. I don't know what the point of that catfish was, I'm the one who got a bunch of stuff, and I didn't even ask for any of it.

Oh well, I still wear some of the stuff she got me lol.

7. From charlottehm:

Nothing serious because I caught it quickly but a guy claimed he was a Marine and posted a bunch of photos that he captioned "Me in Afghanistan" and the like. They were all different sizes / crappy resolution. A quick reverse google image search proved they were taken largely from articles written about military training exercises held in Nevada and one even had the subject's name and rank, which wasn't even close to the name he'd given me.

I called him on it and he felt the way to rectify it and prove he was real was to send me a bunch of dick pics. From there it got even better. The photos were of obviously different dicks. They looked nothing alike and another reverse image search brought up dozens of gay porn sites. I called him on that, too, and he proceeded to threaten me for disrespecting the Marine Corps.

It was actually kind of hilarious how terrible he was at it.

EDIT: I posted this below but here's a snippet of the messages he sent me after I busted him.

I use a second email address for OKCupid (and newsletters/contests/email lists I don't want flooding my inbox) so it was what I gave him when he so desperately wanted to prove how real he was. I was bored and a little curious as to what his "proof" might be but didn't think I'd be getting a bunch of photos of other people's penises. I called him out from that email address while he chose to yell at me via both email and okc. There's a bunch more but you get the idea. It wasn't long at all before I reported and blocked him.

This kind of makes me wish I had saved the email exchange because it was pretty funny, too.

8. From gonekuckoo:

I have not, but my pictures were stolen and used by a 14 year old girl to Catfish older boys. I found out, not knowing her age, and was kind of pissed. Once I found out she was a minor trying to meet 20+ year old guys I was just generally concerned for her and what could have happened.

9. From HeloRising:

Only once, recently. It actually helped change my view of the practice.

I met a girl on OKC, very nice, we clicked pretty quickly and talked for about a month before deciding to meet up. There were no immediate red flags in her profile and her pictures looked legit.

We agreed on a park (I'm a cheap date, what can I say?) for our first meeting and I was lying back on a grassy hill when I hear a voice say my name. I look up and see...someone I don't recognize at all. I was confused and asked her if I knew her. She was quiet for a second before revealing it was the girl I'd been talking to.

She looked radically different from her pictures; the girl I saw in the pictures was quite pretty, very fit, looked like she took good care of herself. The girl that showed up...less so. She was much plainer looking, much more weight than the girl in the photos, and much less sure of herself now.

I asked her why she'd lied, especially considering that I actually did find her real self attractive. She burst into tears and said she was so scared that people wouldn't like her that she felt like she had to do this. She had a lot of self-image problems, her shirt sleeve slipped up a couple times and there were a lot of scars.

Initially I was pissed. I'm a really chill, good natured dude (at least I try to be) and I really hate when people take advantage of that. We talked for a little while and she admitted she was terrified of people and their reaction to how she looked and that this approach helped her get past that. I explained that lying about it wasn't going to help.

We actually had a pretty good conversation and kept in touch after that but she stopped responding to pretty much everything about two months later. She stopped answering her phone and the texts dropped off. I hope she's alright and that she stopped Catfishing people. It was a shame because I did actually find her attractive and she wasn't a horrendous human being but I can't start a relationship on that big of a lie.

After that, I've started looking on Catfishers with a little more empathy. A lot of them are people who have social issues and don't mean to be malicious or to hurt people. That doesn't make it more acceptable, but it's easier to understand.

10. From JoeyJingleJangleJr:

Started chatting with a girl on a BBS in the early nineties. This moved to the internet when that became more popular.

Finally decided to meet after 4 years. From the photos of her I had seen I was looking for a skinny white girl, she turned out to be an overweight Asian girl. She brought 4 friends with her to meet me as well which was a bit awkward. I ended up sneaking out of the bar we had arranged to meet at after about 30 minutes as I was really embarrassed and her friends were asking me if I was still interested in her.

Her personality was still the same and all the stories she had told were hers but she was afraid I wouldn't be interested if I knew what she looked like.

I still speak to her every couple of months now 20 years later.

11. From chalupacabrariley:

Bear with me this is kind of long.

I met this young man named "Shane" on the neopets when I was 13. My best friend was 16 and so was "Shane". He lived in Holland and we would chat daily. I told my mom about our international friend and she reminded me that "you never know who you're talking to on the Internet." I got freaked out and wouldn't talk to Shane for a couple of months, while my best friend would still talk to him daily.

The strange thing was, Shane shared an email address with his sister "Rowena" and we had only ever seen one picture of "Shane". Whatever, not many people back then had digital cameras or video cameras.

My best friend fell madly in love with Shane and, like I said, talk to him daily. They talked about meeting up but something would always get in the way, even when my friend was in holland with her family. We also found the same picture of Shane on vampire freaks, which was weird, because it was under a different name.

After years of talking, like four freaking years, my best friend received on email from her lover. He told her there was something he needed to tell her and was just so embarrassed about but he had been hiding something for quite some time and to look for an email to her about it. She responded and waited for the email for months, it never came, she never heard from Shane again. She sent emails and instant messages to Shane, but he never responded again.

She started digging and she found Shane's sisters, Rowena's, social media site. On it were all the photos and drawings Shane had been sending her for years claiming that they were his. Pictures of Shane's new shoes, of a drawing he had made for my best friend, all of Shane's favorite bands, ect. My best friend then realized he had not fallen in love with Shane, but a girl from holland named Rowena.

It's been four? Years since she's spoken to Shane, and the first year after they stopped talking she sent Rowena an email letting her know that she knows that Shane never existed. I know deep down she still wants answers, but I'm pretty sure shell never get them.

tl:dr my best friend and I start talking to a guy named Shane, my best friend falls in love with him, finds out its really a girl named Rowena

12. From Death-sticks:

A while after me and my ex of 2 years split up I flew to melbourne to meet with a girl i had been talking with for a month or two, my boss payed for me to go down for some strange reason (he gets in weird moods, right now i'm undoing 2 years of work :{ )

I arrived to discover that the girl was in fact 15, me being 20 this was a big NOPE. The friendship connection was there but absolutely 0 interest in pursuing a relationship or any intimacy.

First night we went out to a party and I egged her on to get with a guy she was interested in to get me off her radar.

They got together, whatever and came back to her house and stayed for the few days I was there.

I stayed at her place with her parents and her group of random friends a mix of guys and girls. I cooked them some breakfast and slept on the floor.

Ended up working out well for me anyway as melbourne comedy festival was on so I just went to it by myself and had a blast taking in the sights and sounds of Melbourne!

Didn't end up being awkward thank god, basically just had a new little sister and an adopted family to take care of for a few days with a free place to stay.

Dont give up on online dating however, as a few months after that I met the f*cking girl of my dreams, flew up to Brisbane to meet her and we've been madly in love for the last year.

She 100% completes me and is a fantastic nerdy woman just a year older then me :3

13. From Never_Been_Missed:

I work as head of IT security for a large insurance company. One of the people I work with was recently scammed this way for over 250k.

Saddest thing I ever saw. She's essentially screwed. 56 years old and she got nothing. I did what I could to give her advice about her next steps, but couldn't convince her to tell her family, she's so embarrassed. :(

14. From insanopointless:

This didn't happen while online dating, but it is a classic Catfish I feel. I got a message from a friend of mine who's a pretty well known TV writer. He had tons of followers on twitter but there was this one family in particular that commented and replied on everything he did, had their own conversations and lives going on. But he had a funny feeling about it.

This guy is in the US and I'm from Australia where this family was from, so he asked me to look in to it. There were five or six women in this family - a couple of older women who were sisters and their daughters. Most of these had other people attached, husbands or children or friends. They all talked to each other about the TV show and characters and sent him questions. Some of them had a bit of drama in their lives - one woman was a cancer survivor, another had an autistic son.

Pretty innocent but I looked in to it. No one under those names existed as far as I could find, and a quick tineye search showed that all their pictures were from google searches - 'blonde model', 'pretty blonde girl', 'australian beach girl' and things like that. Some of them were taken (randomly) from other profiles for consistency I guess - but then you had the obvious ones with watermarks and whatnot.

This continued for a couple of weeks without much happening and without us finding out anything new. We weren't sure the motivation other than just making life a bit more interesting (like the Catfish movie). And then - bang! - one of the young, pretty daughters got in a car accident. Put in a coma. The whole family was abuzz with talk. Of course my writer friend offers his support and asks if there's anything he can do.

They give an address of the hospital and ask for some autographed photos from his show and maybe a couple of scripts if I remember. Ah. There it is! And at this point they start kind of soliciting other well known writers, actors and athletes for help and sympathy. From the comments I read, they got a whole bunch of stuff sent to them -signed books, photos, autographs, flowers and more. The girl woke up for an hour or something one day and was very impressed and thankful for the gifts that were arriving.

At this point I was about to travel interstate. I'd called the hospital and the girl in there for a coma didn't exist on their records (of course!). From the other information they'd given him, we figured out the actual catfish's work (it was at the hospital) and home address. I was flying to their state the next day and on a day off I was planning to stop by their place with some flowers or something, just to see what would happen.

Anyway, the day I fly out they just fall off the face of the planet. After all the prayers and good will sent out by other Twitter people (they got a lot of attention, retweets and whatnot), they disappeared. It started with a message of 'oh my god she died!' or something along those lines, and then the accounts started to get deleted. All in one day.

So it ended there. I didn't go to their house - it felt dumb when I was thinking about it. It's funny how you can get an idea of who the person is behind all these personalities they've built. She was a forty something woman, from what I could a rocky marriage, maybe not as pretty as she used to be. I don't think she had kids. Worked a sh*tty non-stop job at a hospital in Sydney's outer-outer-outer-suburbs.

So it was something of an escape. Very Catholic. I don't think she deleted the characters because she thought someone might catch her - she had no idea I was involved at all, or that we'd figured out her address and that kind of thing. I think she just had a change of heart and realised it wasn't a particularly good thing to do - no harm came out of just having these characters talking and interacting with people, but the goodies arriving on her doorstep probably set her straight.

This probably happened a couple of years ago now. I have a doc on my old hard drive with a timeline and background on all the characters and what happened when I had it laid out. My writer friend didn't mind. I think he enjoyed following the story, seeing how it developed. And I think he felt a pang of - not pity so much - but maybe sympathy for a fellow story teller. So he doesn't mind he sent off all that stuff.

TL;DR: Australian woman creates an entire fake family on Twitter to talk to TV personalities. I get sent to investigate and the whole thing goes on a bit of a wild ride.

15. From Aikawa_Kizuna:

Not me, but my mom. Twice.

The first time, the guy said he worked for an oil drilling company and was off in the middle of the ocean on an oil platform. Then he told my mom that his daughter was in some dancing competition in another country and she had fallen and broken her leg and he couldn't send her any money for the medical bills, and that he needed my mom to send thousands of dollars to some account and that he would pay her back three times over when he came back into the country and then he would basically take her away to paradise and she would live in happiness forever.

I told her that this was obviously bullsh*t and he was trying to rip her off. She wouldn't believe me, or any of our family or her friends even though every single person we know told her the same thing. She insisted that we all wanted her to be unhappy and that she was gonna abandon us all and go live with him in paradise as soon as he came back into the country.

The good news was, she didn't have a penny to give him, much less thousands of dollars. She tried to explain that to him, but he kept hounding her about it. So I took it upon myself to go to one of those websites where they try and catch these sorts of people, and after telling them the info, they basically confirm that this same guy has been using this same information to try and lure women for months, and that he is DEFINITELY a con artist. I tried to explain this to my mother, but she wouldn't listen.

Then I myself went and sent him an anonymous and very threatening email, telling him that he had better confess to everything to every woman he is trying to rip off or I would reveal all of his personal information to the police, and that I was an elite hacker and I knew every single thing about him (obviously, this was a bluff).

He fell for it and I know that at least my mother received an email from him confessing everything. I didn't have to actually send any info to the police though, as the website I spoke of before said that they already had all sorts of info on the guy and would take care of it.

The second time, the guy claimed to live a few hours away from where we lived, but he was out of town. Eventually, of course, he says he needs money because his house is going to be foreclosed on and he's just shy of being able to pay his mortgage by a couple thousand dollars. I tell my mom once again that this is obviously bullsh*t. She's a little more inclined to believe me this time.

But she wanted to be sure, because she thought this guy seemed legit on some level. So, we got a friend of ours to come over (who is a complete genius, by the way) and he literally manages to pull up all sorts of information about the sender of these emails, the phone number he gave us, the fake address he gave us and to top it all off, finds a website where people trade poetry and the like, specifically for the purpose of trying to seduce women (and men) to rip them off, and of course, most of his messages are ripped straight off this website.

So I reported this guy to the site from before, and then we threatened to call the police if he ever contacted us again. He never did.

16. From Brrrzy:

Found the pictures, well one of them, right up here on a subreddit, it was either ladyboners or beardborn or something like that. He had raided the dudes facebook profile too. Quickly stopped talking to him after that.

17. From goodforpinky:

I was Catfished before the days of the Internet. I'm a girl, but this boy in school did an uncanny impression of my voice (prepubescent). He used to call some of the other boys in school pretending to be me, having hour long conversations.

Guys would come up to me at school and ask me about something referencing a conversation I didn't have and it took me a few to catch on. No idea why this kid did it. Bonus: his dad was a minister in our town.

Edit: someone Catfished with my voice.

18. From Shellylauer:

I only remember bits to this story so forgive me if. When I was about 7 my mom was on AOL (about 1996) and had previously met a couple guys online, before online dating was known to be common or dangerous. She started talking to this one guy and eventually he planned to fly to where we lived and meet her. This is where my memory gets sketchy, as she has only told me the story while drinking with me.

He had claimed to have his doctorate degree and told her he had published a well known book. She searched for the book and eventually she searched it in some online database (I want to say library of congress?) and found nothing. His lies before they met got worse. Something led my mom to go to the police and they said he was actually a wanted man for previously killing, or attempting to kill women. The police used my mom to catch the guy at this point, he agreed to fly down here and she was having him meet her at her office. When he arrived the police were there to arrest him.

I don't think he was charged with anything after that because years later he went to prison for something else and my mom was relieved to find out he had finally been locked up. I have tried to research the guy to find out more to the story. If you are feeling ambitious, his name was Jack Messina.

Edit: This MIGHT be the guy, considering we are from San Antonio. http://www.10news.com/news/fugitive-wanted-in-cold-case-murder-caught-in-spring-valley

19. From driderqueen:

My bestfriend in high school made a MySpace page of this cute boy and started talking to me for several weeks. I started to like him and showed one of my other friends his profile picture. She then says "Hey I've seen that picture before..." Proceeds to go on some weird goth site she visited a lot and lo and behold, Peter's hot emo figure was there (I know I had bad taste back then).

But how did I find out Peter was my best friend? He eventually said something in one of the emails we wrote to each other only my best friend would know. Then I realized, whenever I was with my best friend, Peter would never reply. He then owned up, saying he felt bad about how lonely I was and wanted me to feel happy. Btw, that best friend was gay so no we did not hook up after that.

20. From Angeltachibana:

I'll toss my story up here, just to help other Redditors out and prevent future "catfishing".

I was about 16 at the time (24 now), and I had just discovered the social website Vampire Freaks (VF)...judge me now if you'd like but I liked it. Back then Facebook hadn't become huge and MySpace made it too difficult to find people in your area with similar interest. VF had a huge collection of gamers, cosplayers, otaku and "nerds", which is my thing.

Ran into the girl that I thought was the love of my 16 year old life, we had the same interest, we talked on MSN voice chat numerous times and sent "recent" pictures to each other all the time. It was awesome, we had a great time and generally seemed to connect really well. After 3 months I decided it was time to meet, I lived in Southern NJ and her in Upper NY, it was a bit of a hike.

I lied to my mom and told her I was going to Philly, which was only a 15 min train ride, and set off on an adventure of epic proportion. After hopping on two trains and walking for 2 hours, 5 hours total, I had finally arrived at our meeting point, a cafe in her neighborhood.

I was waiting in line to get a cup a of coffee when suddenly a monstrous shadow that could be compared to the sun caught the corner of my eye. Chills went down my spine, as I heard my name get called out. The girl who had just sent me a picture last night had gained 120 pounds, and caused the ground the quake beneath her.

Having little to no experience of the outside world I panicked, turned and said the most disappointing greeting of my life. I ended up spending the rest of the day with her, I tried not to be a jerk and bring up the fact that she lied to me. In the end she went for the kiss and I just gave her the cheek.

I probably would've dated her if she hadn't lied to me, I'm a romantic and feel as though beauty is on the inside. But if she could lie about something like that, what's to stop her from something even bigger.

TL;DR Girls can be magicians with photoshop and camera angles.

When it's the weekend in quarantine, the party is on...Zoom?

Drinking through a screen can get pretty weird. If you're on a work happy hour, remember to check to see if you're muted before saying anything potentially NSFW. When you're pouring your own drinks, it's pretty easy to get a lot tispier than you anticipated and suddenly your friends are yelling at you to stop trying to set your virtual background to your ex's face. Then of course, there's the awkward goodbye to the video chat. What's the best way to "Irish Goodbye" the FaceTime call when all your friends in their little squares are starting to spin and you are only thinking about the leftover pizza you're going to microwave later?

Everything in quarantine has been stressful and scary so it's safe to say we could all probably use a solid cocktail while catching up with our friends. Last week we brought you the funniest tweets from people who are getting drunk on Zoom, and this week is no different. Enjoy and stay safe, everyone!

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Staying home can get boring as hell, so here are a bunch of memes to make you laugh and keep you from going completely stir crazy. Anyone with a raging case of cabin fever will totally relate to these hilarious memes.

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People making deliveries are among the heroes venturing out into the world during the pandemic, putting themselves at risk to make sure people have the resources they need to survive.

That's not enough for some entitled people, who are privileged and demanding and might as well be named Karen.

"Karens" are a subspecious of middle aged white women who are often seen with a lopsided bob while yelling at service workers and/or asking to speak to the manager.

A UPS driver encountered a Karen on their delivery route, who left a note for them at the door. They posted a photo on Facebook, which was then shared to Reddit.

Dear UPS Man.

After putting on a mask and gloves, carefully remove contents of packages, discard shipping and packing material, disinfect contents with an FDA approved disinfectant for at least 30 seconds, leave at door. Do NOT touch door! Leave Area!

This lady is a total Karen in both tone and content.

This lady is so lazy, you have to wonder if she has done anything herself, ever.

Reddit commenters are dragging her as a Karen Supreme.

"Hey Karen! Feel you're at risk from delivered packages? Then STOP FUCKING ORDERING YOUR USELESS SH*T ONLINE!" takethisnameand wrote.

"Delivery people are not obligated to disinfect things for you. That's your job," Megumi0505 commented.

Be nice to delivery workers because:

A) they're human beings AND

B) they can always leave a "sorry we missed you!" slip and take your package back to the warehouse.

"Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud."

-Maya Angelou

Obviously things are tough right now. We could all use a little positivity.in our lives. These memes will give you the warm and fuzzies and will definitely put a smile on your face and boost your mood today.

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"The most wasted of days is one without laughter."

-E. E. Cummings

Even if you plan on doing nothing but watching Netflix and snacking today, it won't be a complete waste if you take some time to laugh. This hilarious collection of memes will absolutely help you start your day off with a mood-boosting chuckle.

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"You must do the things you think you cannot do."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

In times of crisis, we're all required to make major sacrifices. Our grandparents and great-grandparents were called to war. Similarly, we've been asked to not get our hair done or go bowling for a couple of months. Basically the same thing, right? Nevertheless, if you're going completely stir crazy while staying home, you're not alone. We're all losing it. These memes hilariously prove the stay-at-home struggle is real.

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Divorce lawyers see the very worst sides of humanity. They also see people's most creative sides (there's a reason so much great art comes out of heartbreak). People going through a divorce can be EXCEPTIONALLY imaginative and resourceful when trying to screw over their soon-to-be-ex.

Someone asked divorce lawyers of Reddit: "what is the most insane (evil, funny, dumb) way a spouse has tried to screw the other?" Here are 19 of the juiciest stories about creative, cruel, and insane behavior from soon-to-be-divorcées.

Hopefully these will entertain but not inspire you.

1.) From hansrudie:

A soon-to-be ex-husband left his wife's prized Koi to die on the doorstep of their house. Apparently the value of these fish (six in total) was over $100,000. She was, according to her lawyer, so distraught that she couldn't be in court. Only in LA.

2.) From drlitt:

I was an assistant for a family law practice, not a lawyer. So it was already a disaster of a divorce because the ex husband was a dick. But it got so much worse when the wife started dating someone new with a severe cat allergy like a year after they split up.

Her psycho ex bought a cat on his time with the kids, except he’s not allowed pets at his apartment. He sends the kids back to their mom’s house with the cat and all its stuff. Mom is pissed because she didn’t want a cat at all plus her boyfriend is crazy allergic. She calls us asking what to do because her kids are bawling saying that she can’t get rid of their new “sibling” and she has the cat in the garage.

Ex told kids “if mommy loves you, she’ll let you keep the cat since daddy is not allowed cats at his house”.

3.) From Flintoid:

I didn't handle the divorce, I handled parts of the aftermath. In the divorce, she went AWOL, was living in a truck somewhere, and just couldn't handle it mentally.

He gave her five of his nine companies.

They were the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes.

He had made her the bookkeeper on paper.

She spent decades trying to shake the IRS for the results.

4.) From NegligentNeanderthal:

I’m a lawyer but have had a very limited amount of experience in divorce cases. The first case I ever worked the husband shaved/waxed every single hair off his body in an attempt to avoid a court-mandated drug test.

5.) From MoundSamurai19:

Divorce lawyer. Accusing their former spouse of forcing them into prostitution. Text messages revealed they were actually just swingers. She also admitted to lying in order to "make him burn." I can't wait to leave my practice area.

6.) From Much_Difference:

Not my divorce, but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything. The final object that neither would settle on was a ceramic rabbit statue, a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever. Zero sentimental value but since it was the final item, neither side wanted to "lose" the last thing and they dragged it out over 3 separate meetings for this one thing. I don't remember which ended up getting it, but once they settled it and signed everything, the "winning" party stuck it on their lawyer's desk as a gift and walked out.

7.) From JillAustin:

Friend was going through divorce from insane husband. He had been texting her pics of the gun he bought and threatening her. Police were called. Nothing they could do because it was 'only a picture'. He was staying with a secret girlfriend at this point. She allowed him to go get his stuff from the house. She was scared to go back in the house alone. I went with her. First red flag was he had changed the locks. So we waited for locksmith to open the house and change the locks again. Well, when the door opens...we noticed all of the furniture was gone. So we carefully went upstairs in search of her cats. The entire second floor was empty. No cats. No furniture. Even her clothes were gone. Come to find out he hired a moving company to pack and take everything, even the food in the fridge. Finally found the cats. He had taken them to another vet in town and put them up for boarding under his sister's name thinking she would not be able to find them. He was finally forced to disclose what happened to her possessions. He had them taken to a storage unit far away from the home.

8.) From Slagathar1:

Divorce lawyer here. Spouse had been out of the house for weeks. She waited until he was on a business trip, came into the house, turned on all of the faucets, plugged the drains, turned off the furnace, and left. It was -10 degrees . He came back five days later. The house was ruined. The water froze and cracked the foundation.

9.) From Tittybean22:

I'm not a divorce lawyer but my parents got divorced about a year ago. My mum didn't want my dad to show up in court because he would contest and then they'd have to split the assets. She phoned me and told me to put laxatives in his food so he wouldn't be able to make it there.

10.) From loungesinger:

TL;DR My client's spouse accused him of giving his deceased wife cancer.

I represented a guy who was on his second marriage. His first wife passed away from cancer, he and his kids were obviously devastated. My client was a pretty sensitive guy with a big heart. His second wife could be very charming--which was why he fell for her--but it was all a facade. Anyway, to make a long story about a lengthy divorce short, my client met a very kind and affectionate woman during his case. They really hit it off and were basically engaged (even though his divorce was far from over). The fiancee started having health problems and was diagnosed with a form of terminal cancer.

Somehow the Second wife found out about this and tried to use the cancer diagnosis against my client in court. She developed this crazy theory that my client had killed his first wife by giving her cancer and that he was doing the same thing to his "fiancee." The second wife's attorney--who was quite good--refused to be a party to it. The attorney never addressed the argument in court and didn't even ask the second wife any questions about it during testimony. Rather, the attorney informed the judge that the second wife wished to address the court directly about an issue. The judge allowed her to do so (in a highly irregular move). The second wife told her crazy conspiracy theory to the judge, adding that she was certain my client had try to give her cancer at some point as well.

I wish I had an artist's rendering of the scene, capturing the Second wife's crazy eyes, her attorney's look of shame/embarrassment, the judge's look of confusion/ennui, and my look of awe-inspired disgust.

11.) From 105degrees_andrising:

Not my case, but during my first year of law school lawyers from different practices came to give us a peek behind the curtain of different areas.

The divorce lawyer told the story of rather well to do couple that spent months and months and many tens of thousands of dollars fighting over absolutely everything all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray. He couldn’t remember the significance, but somehow it had come through the husband’s family.

Even after everything else had been decided, they spent many more months and nearly $100,000 fighting over just this ashtray. Then, after a court hearing the wife finally won the ashtray. She promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps...and smashed the ceramic ashtray. Left the pieces all over for the husband to see on his way out.

Decided that day I would not be a divorce lawyer.

TL;DR. Spent $100k to win an ashtray only to smash it in spite.

12.) From JortsEnthusiast69:

Once had a boss who had to leave his house for 6 hours while his ex wife grabbed all the belongings she was legally entitled too. When he returned home every knob and handle was gone. Door knobs, cabinet handles, drawer handles, anything that was screwed onto something and used to open it, she had taken. Every day for the next week he would occasionally yell out "SHE TOOK THE F*CKING KNOBS"

13.) From Armada5:

Had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever getting back in were slim.

He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children, and would remind the children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave.

14.) From Rogue_Kat15:

My dad is a divorce attorney. His clients couldn't decide who would get the Labrador puppy's from a new litter they just breed. The pups are worth $1000 a pop. Well they also hadn't been up to date on their payments. So dad brought a litter of 8 floppy puppy's home as collateral for us to have until they could negotiate the settlement. So much fun for us kids

15.) From cannabisandcrabs:

Paralegal for a divorce lawyer here. Our client told us he didn't clear out the marital account after the parties filed. Which technically is true, because while he removed $45,000 he left about $3.50 in there.

16.) From discostud1515:

I read one where in the settlement there was shared custody of a parrot. Neither were allowed to teach the parrot to swear at the other one.

17.) From Maxwyfe:

The craziest thing came to my attention when I worked for the prosecuting attorney.

This couple was breaking up and Mister left the house. Missus went to work the next morning as usual. When she returned home in the evening she found Mister had been to the house and removed his clothing and belongings as she expected.

What she didn't expect was that he had also Gorilla glued her belongings together. He glued the tv remote to the table, the phone to its cradle, the couch pillows to the couch and even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet. She called the police and reported this as property damage. The police went with her through the house documenting dozens of items glued to various things but for days she was discovering random things and she would call to amend or update her report. "My gd oven mitts were glued to the wall." or "He glued the effing sheets together in the linen closet!"

I've seen people do and say really awful things to each other but that was diabolical.

18.) From franichan:

Not a lawyer. But my partner has a mate who was going through a messy divorce. He registered as a “gambling addict” and went to some gambling anonymous (or whatever it’s called) and proceeded to go to the casino every day, taking wads of cash with him, pretending to gamble it all away, while he was secretly squirreling it all away. That way, when it came to the divorce and he was questioned where all his money went, he could “prove” that he lost it all through his gambling addiction and never had to pay her a penny.

19.) From btchsslutsswhore:

I worked in family courts when first starting out. The most memorable case I saw was the woman took literally everything out of the house. She ripped out the carpets even.