Sometimes parents have to tell their kids little white lies to get them to follow a rule or allow them just "a little bit of peace and quiet."

When kids are particularly picky eaters, most parents have to get pretty creative about the way they get their children to consume vegetables and if that means telling a lie about how beets are actually "the candy of dirt," then so be it. Shout out to my aunt who told me that there was actually sugar in Crest Toothpaste to get me to brush my teeth "for dessert." Sadly, most dogs don't get to retire to beautiful farms where they live forever. Moms don't get "Santa's phone number" the day they become mothers. Goldfish don't swim toward you when you call their names from outside their bowl. You can't hear the ocean in a shell. Childhood is a field of lies?

So, when a Reddit user asked, "What bombs have your parents dropped on you?" after learning their parents filled a bottle of expensive maple syrup with cheap maple syrup to trick them into eating it for years, people were ready to share similar experiences of their parents totally duping them.

1.

When I was a kid we would take long family road trips to Ohio to visit my grandparents. I absolutely loved these trips - my grandparents had all sorts of cool stuff in the house, two big apple trees in the front yard, and they lived next to a train track.

My grandpa also loved Golden Grahams. Every time my brothers and I would visit, he would open his cupboard to reveals four or five boxes of Golden Grahams, explaining how much he loved them and that he got some extra boxes just because we were visiting. I always thought it was so cool that my grandpa - who was, you know, old - had the same favorite cereal as me. I would always feast on cereal every time we went to visit.

Of course, years after he died, I was relating this story to someone and the obvious dawned on me. Later I asked my mother if grandpa even liked Golden Grahams, and she got this big smile on her face, looked a little sad, and said "No... but he knew you did." Broke my heart. Still the story I tell when I remember him. - ApesInSpace

2.

When I was a kid, I had a pet hamster that I loved as he would walk up my arm and sleep on my shoulder. Fast forward to age 16. My dad and I were talking about my childhood and he let slip, "Oh you mean hamster 1 or hamster 2?" o_O "What?" was my reaction. Turns out my dad accidentally left my hamsters cage in the sun and my hamster died. Then to make it better, they had the cage on their bed as they were deciding what to do, and I came in, pet the dead hamster and said. "Bye, I will see you later after school". My dad went to get a new hamster that day and when I got back from school he said I was ecstatic that my hamster got bigger. My mom confirmed this. - Shahblahdoo

3.

I used to just spew out random numbers to my mom, telling to add, subtract, multiply, etc. She would, in turn, tell me what the final number would be. Blew my mind, and she was the damn smartest person on the planet. Then I got clever. One day I got a calculator out to make sure she had it right. She didn't. - trafficrush

4.

The "Monster Juice" that my mom would spray around my room to keep the monsters out, was actually just water with a large amount of my Dad's cologne sprayed into it. - telekinetic_turtle

5.

My mom used to turn the clocks forward when I had sleepovers at her house... She'd run in to change the clock from 7:00 pm to 9:30 pm while we were distracted (this was before we all had cell phones) and we'd be amazed at how fast time had gone. We would stay up "really late" and then fall asleep, confident in our "coolness". She actually got to go to sleep at a decent hour without making us all shut up six times in the middle of the night. - NotAnAverageTaunTaun

6.

When I was in kindergarten, all of my friends would go to Disney World and talk about all of the rides they went on. I was really jealous because I had never been (my parents didn't want to pay for a plane ride from Massachusetts to Florida). Every day I would cry and cry just begging to go. One day in the middle of the week they just gave in and said we would go. I was psyched. We went on the horse that goes back and forth and got necklaces. We also saw a lot of couches and chairs and other furniture. The next day in class I told all of my friends that I went to Disney World yesterday. They were amazed that I only went in one day. Turns out we actually went to Jordan's Furniture and my parents told me it was Disney World. - acreeb15

7.

when I was very young, I came downstairs at four in the morning to witness my dad, half asleep and wearing nothing but his underwear, placing presents under the Christmas tree while shoving the cookies we left out for Santa into his face.

His reaction? ".....oh." - IGottaFindBubba

8.

A relative of mine tells her kid that if she behaves well at school for 5 days in a row, she can have two days off school. The kid has no idea that's the weekend. -bryson430

9.

I don't like mushrooms..the texture of them creeps me out and I'm not huge on the taste. When my mom used to make lasagna I'd notice mushrooms in it and immediately refuse to continue eating it. Even though I couldn't necessarily taste them. Anyways, she tells me that it's OK cause they're lasagna mushrooms. For years anytime I would eat something and see mushrooms she'd always assure me they were lasagna mushrooms.

Fast forward like 5 years, I'm at a restaurant and was ordering something with mushrooms in it. Sure enough I said "can you make sure those are lasagna mushrooms''. My parents died of laughing and had to explain in front of the waiter the evil lie they fed me for years. - slohomo

10.

For a good portion of my childhood, I thought we were just eating a different brand of tomato sauce. Turns out, my mom had been liquefying carrots and putting them into the sauce to get us more veggies. Took me years to know that tomato sauce should not be orange. - waterfountain_bidet

11.

My husband's mother would always put 1% milk in the 2% jug simply because his brother swore that he didn't like 1%. He never knew the difference. - tinabear

12.

When I was a kid we had a pet bird- Bart the Bird, and he could talk. For years I recalled with great fondness talking to Bart and Bart answering back. Well, not too long ago I asked my dad what type of bird Bart was. Surely he was some form of parrot and I just never put it together because I was so young. My dad then broke the news that Bart never talked. That he would stand not far off in the other room or a few steps behind me and talk for the bird. I don't think I've ever felt the carpet be pulled so quickly from under my feet. You don't know how many people I've told about Bart the talking bird. - militarytime

13.

As a kid, my best friend used to go on and on about how he couldn't eat the generic cereals. He had to have the name brand. How he could just "taste the lower quality". Well one night we were having a sleepover, I woke up pretty early in the morning and went upstairs to use the bathroom. In the kitchen his mom was filling the froot loops box from a bag of the generic stuff. She saw me, smiled and said "shhhhh". Never told my friend. - Cstolworthy

14.

I was a very picky eater as a kid. My parents got me to try fish sticks by calling them "long chicken nuggets" - DevinGPrice

15.

My parents would set the clock 2 hours ahead on New Years Eve, and then take my siblings and I out for dinner so we would not notice, and wind up going to bed at 10 instead of midnight. - ManicBigNick1

16.

I remember when I was a little girl all I wanted was to see the movie Matilda. My parents wanted to see the Nutty Professor. So they took us to see the Nutty Professor and told me it was Matilda. I just kept waiting and waiting.... it wasn't till the end of the movie I realized my parents where d*cks..... - calvaradonet

17.

When I was 4(?) years old and we didn't have a car, my mom would pick me up from daycare and then we'd walk home. Whenever I said that I was too tired to walk anymore, my mom would say, "Okay, I'll give you some energy." She'd hold my hand and then make a "bzzzz" noise as if sending me energy. Then she'd ask me if I had enough now, I'd say yes, and we'd keep walking. - enuie

18.

When I was a kid, my favorite cereal was Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries. If given the opportunity, I would eat nothing else. So for years my mother had me believing that they were only available during Christmas.

So about six years ago, I'm in the store with my ex and I see them. I explained how much I loved them as a child and we should get some. Then I realized it was July. I got really excited and even regressed a little I think. It was then gently explained to me that I'd been duped. I'm eating Crunch Berries right the f*ck now though so all's well that ends well I suppose. - somberjester

19.

My mom used to hold me up to arcade machines and let me think I was playing even though it was just the demo/title sequence. I remember getting really frustrated that I'd die at the same part every time. - Zanderbander86

Every family has a secret. But a parent having a "secret family" on the side is the kind of secret that soap operas, and a lifetime of therapy sessions, are made of.

Someone asked Reddit: "to those people who found out their parent had a second secret family, how did you discover the truth? What happened afterwards?"

These 19 people share personal stories or stories of someone they know who either found out they had a secret family, or were themselves kept a secret:

1.) From soleillie18:

After my parents' 10th year anniversary church wedding, someone called the church registrar saying that she was the legal wife. The secretary from the registrar proceeded to call my mom to inform her about it. My mom did investigations on her own a full week after the event. And eventually found out that my dad now has a daughter with his mistress, and has been staying with them 5 days in a week. His excuse was always "work is hectic so I might as well stay at someone's place". Yeah right lol. Mom decided to break the relationship (annulment is expensive from where we live. Divorce is being discussed in the supreme court), and the whole family was in chaos. Grandparents (father side) wanted custody of four of us (me and my 3 brothers), but we fought til they gave up because we saw how distraught our mom was and she only had us for support (our aunt and grandma were living a bit far from where we were). They had a final "meeting", asking why my dad decided to cheat for the nth time. He said because "i am a weak man and you are too trusting so i decided to cheat on you again". A few years later he decided to take away our educational plans and life savings because of gambling addiction. His parents were holding it for us that time because brothers and I were still minors. He forged their signatures and was able to encash all of it.

So, yeah. 15yrs after that, we barely have contact with him, but we know he has a new family (again). We actually saw him again during my second brother's funeral 2yrs ago, didn't communicate as much. Mom is doing okay. Brothers and I are doing okay. Just have terrible trust issues.

2.) From hcass-:

Kinda the opposite. My bio dad has (as far as I know) kept me a secret from the rest of his family for 23 years. Pretty sure I have 3 half-siblings who are all 10-20+ years older than me. It's kinda wild when I think about it (but I typically don't).

3.) From TalmadgeReynolds:

This happened to my wife's grandmother. She's still alive (in her 90s) and her father had a secret second family. They met at his funeral. When the secret wife saw the life this man had built and lived with his public wife, the secret wife said: "I always knew there was someone else, but I didn't know that I was the someone else."

4.) From Kussa_Low:

Not mine but a friend from work told me this story. Her sister married this guy who turned out to be having about three affairs, when she gave birth to their first son the guys mistress also gave birth about two weeks after, the idiot decided to name both of his sons the same first name (they both shared his second name). So about 3 years later his wife goes to get the birth certificate for her son and the lady in the office gives her the one which belongs to the mistresses' son, which is how she found out about the whole situation. They're divorced now and it turned out he guy has 11 children with 5 different women.

5.) From DarkestGemeni:

My father was married to my mum and was dating another woman. They were serious apparently. He told my mum he was taking us to the park once and took us to her parents house for 3 days and she didn't know whether or not to file missing persons reports. So anyways she finds out he's literally engaged and planning a second wedding with this lady he's been with for years. But when it all comes out in court he's married to my mom, engaged to this lady, and dating 4 people. He only had my sister and I with my mom (as far as we know) but he stayed with the lady he was engaged to after all the court divorce shit. They ended up getting married and have 2 sons now. So he kept his secret girlfriend and made a public family after it came to light. Then he ran for some position within his company and posted a write-up someone had done about his life and his parents immigrating from Britain and growing up in private school and now his lovely family complete with a loving wife and 2 boys. I see it has over 200 likes, presumably from people within the company who support him, and over 300 comments all saying they'll be voting for his position or whatever. I decide to let every one of these people who had previously liked and commented know, with a quick little comment that would notify them all. I simply said "why didn't you mention the two daughters and wife you abandoned to be with your mistress and have children with her?" I got... A lot of replies of disgust from people calling ME out. Like they didn't realize I wasn't some angry ex trying to air dirty laundry or make up rumors, but his 13 year old daughter who genuinely wanted to know why his happy life story didn't include her.

6.) From Daworm420:

Sort of....

So growing up we would take trips to see my fathers mom (I dont call her grandmom because she is a c*nt) in Florida and there was always this old man with her. I asked my dad if that was his dad and he said no his dad died in WW2. And this old guy was her husband. I was about 8 at this time.

Fast forward to 1995 I was 16 and we go to a family reunion and I remember seeing my dad very angry and upset but he didnt say anything that day. When we got back from the family reunion. I heard my mom and dad talking about what happened...

Apparently my dad was talking to one of his distant relatives and said he wish he had a chance to know his dad before he died. Well the relative said "your dad isnt dead, I spoke to him last month" he lives in New Mexico. So my dad had asked if she would give him his phone number and she declined but she said she would give him his address and my dad could write him a letter, if he got a response great! If not he had to promise to leave it alone.

Well my dad wrote his letter and few months later he recieved a phone call from his father. My dad was 38 years old and finally got to hear his fathers voice. My dad booked a flight out to meet him the next day.

My father mom told my dad his dad died in WW2 and told my grandfather she had a miscarriage. So both of them never new each other were alive.

When my fathers mom found out he found he had made contact with his dad, she became furious and didnt speak to our family for about 10 years.

My dad asked me if I wanted to go to his moms funeral and I declined. But I did go to his fathers funeral 2 years ago because he was a good man and a great grandfather.

7.) From dana19671969:

Yay a question I can answer! My husband was having an affair with a friend of the family. I didn’t know that the “friends “ youngest child was my husbands until he was 7 years old.

I was his babysitter when he was an infant and I discovered it through years of inconsistency that made me wonder and I confronted him. Within a few months he came clean and left. It caused a lot of damage.

We divorced and he married her ... I later married the husband of my dreams, one that’s faithful 😁. Married 16 years now ❤️.

There is life after misery.

8.) From brandnvsworld:

Found out my dad had a daughter after my parents divorced. (I was an only child and it happened when I was 2) when I was 18 looking at his tax return for college Financial aid, it showed a girl's name As a dependent.. I never asked him about it until a few years back when she contacted me on Facebook asking if I was her brother...

9.) plumbplatypus14:

My cousins’ dad (my uncle by marriage) had a secret family. He worked in Houston during the week and came home to the family in Harlingen, TX on the weekend.

It was kind of always a family joke between my cousins and her siblings. You know, like “wouldn’t it be funny if dad actually had a secret family and that’s why he’s never here?”

Then they found out it was true. A wife and three kids, just like my cousin, very similar ages. The two families had almost identical lives. My uncle had been married the whole time to both my aunt and this other lady. Everyone thought it was some sick joke when they found out. But nope.

10.) From manbearbatman:

I had a friend in high school who started dating this girl that had the same last name as him. Turns out she was his half sister and his dad was raising two families he kept secret from each other.

11.) From Asthma_Enthusiast:

Not me but my friends mom had a DNA test done and the results said she had a ton of siblings and cousins which is weird because she had one brother, another adopted brother and no cousins. Turns out her mom was having trouble getting pregnant so she went to see some really well renowned specialist and then became pregnant . But all this doctor did was take some of the husbands sperm and mix it with his own and then they would get pregnant. So he fathered a ton of children, many of whom probably still don’t know.

12.) From poolpoot:

My mother had me and my brother before she knew my father had a real family (so technically, we were the secret family), but we have a pretty good relationship with him despite that. Then a week ago, my mother and I visited the college I’ll be attending this fall. In the middle of the two hour trip to the university, out of the blue she told me that the father I know is not my real father, just my brother’s.

Turns out she had an affair and had me with another man while they were still together. I met the man once when I was 9; he randomly (but now I know, not so randomly) gave me a birthday gift after just meeting me.

Turns out, he has a family of his own with I think three kids and a wife. They know nothing about me, and I want it to stay that way. My mother also told me that he sends us money every month for my expenses, but I have no idea what dear old mom does with it since she doesn’t give me an allowance and my “father” (brother’s biological dad) pays for most of our bills.

I cried for about an hour in the car after she told me and all she said to me then was “stop crying. It changes nothing.” I didn’t speak to her during the tour nor on the way home, and now she’s continuing to act like nothing happened and everything’s normal. My brother and “father” have no idea and I still don’t understand why she told me then or why she said anything at all.

TL;DR: my family is my father’s secret family, but I’m actually the product of a different affair, so I’m technically part of two secret families.

13.) From Beebee1791:

I am a secret kid of 27 years! My bio dad hasn't told his kids( all younger than me by 15+ years) but his wife knows. I reached out to my bio grandfather trying to get info about genetics and such because my husband and I are expecting a baby and I couldn't get a response from bio. Dropped a bombshell on that dude. Ooops.

14.) From mrsfishboy:

I'm the second "secret" family. My dad was married and had 4 sons. He really wanted a daughter and his wife couldn't have anymore kids. He met my mom at work and they started seeing each other and they had me all while my dad was still married. The weird thing is he never really kept me secret. I've always known his now ex wife, who I also call mom because half the time she was helping raise me, and I know all my siblings. Non of us are very close but I know who they are and I see them every once in a while. My dad and his ex wife got divorced the same year my mom broke up with him, this was when i was 10, but my dad and "stepmom", I'll call her, still live in the same house because my dad has some health issues. They where "staying together for the kids" which just made everything worse. My mom HATES my step mom and dad and almost didn't come to a bunch of things when I was a senior in high school because they would both be there. My step mom tries to be civil with my mom but my mom refuses to be nice to her, even though she didn't do anything wrong. It really all just fucked up our "family" and no one is close to me or my parents. My brothers hate my dad more than I ever have. The whole " wanting a daughter thing" didn't work out to well for him considering we aren't close because he fucked everyone over in the process.

15.) From imoutotrash:

Not really a secret family but I found out my dad had a secret daughter. My mom and I knew her and thought she was just my cousin. Turns out my dad had an affair with his brother's wife. So she was kind of my sister and my cousin at the same time. She just showed up one day saying she came to visit and gave my dad a letter she had written. I never read it myself but it was apparently very emotional saying she hated knowing she was lying everyone. My mom didn't seem to be affected by it much, but my parents got divorced a year later. I think my uncle (who though she was his daughter the whole 19 years) took it the hardest.

16.) From Aneley13:

The dad of a friend of mine died when he was 14 years old. Two families showed up at the funeral. Guy had 2 wifes, and 5 kids total. No one knew anything, it was a huge shock and it messed up everyone involved basically!

Many many years later my friend is close and has a good relationship with his half sibilings but his mom and sisters never really got over it and pretend they dont exist...

17.) From stonerplumber:

I found out my step dad fathered a child when he was a teenager and his parents were orignally supportive but eventually swept it under the rug because my stepdad didnt want to be a father. Apparently everyone in the family and town knew just kept their mouth shut I found out about all of this years and years later when my mom brought it up during an arguement. Apparently the kid who is now in his late 20s or early 30s hes a few years older than me has made several attempts to meet my stepdad but my step dad still wants nothing to do with him. We all kinda pretend it never happened and dont mention anyone named Jordan around him.

18.) ​​​​​​​From djmalik278:

mom dragged us all along to come with her to some parking lot. a woman comes out of her parked car (what I later found out was my half sister) they talk for a while and my mom gives her gifts. she comes back into the car and we're all questioning her as to who that is and all she gives us is " that's your sister " she wouldn't answer anything else and the course over a few weeks it turns out I'm the youngest of 7 and aside from my older brother and sister I've lived with all my life I have 2 older half sisters and 2 other older half brothers who have been kept secret for 24 years. this happened last year and i'm still recovering secrets shes kept from us.

19.) ​​​​​​​From gr8whiteshart:

When I was 14 I found out from both of my parents that I had a sister just 6 months younger than me. Apparently my dad had cheated on my mom when she was pregnant with me, but they were able to work things out. I was pissed off for a while that they lied to me, but I get it now.

No one in my family met her or had a relationship with her until I was 18 and decided that she should fly out to visit us. I’m glad we did that, because now we all have peace of mind. She comes out once a year to visit now!

Not technically a secret “family” because he didn’t spend time with her, but a secret kid.

In most movies, there is a point where the protagonist faces a major plot twist: life as they knew it has crumbled and a previously hidden truth is now shoved in their face.

These moments are often theatrical and shocking, and can feel like they only exist within the fictional framework of a script, but real life presents plot twists just as wild, if not wilder.

People who've faced major plot-twists in their lives jumped on a Reddit thread to share their stories, and it confirms that secrets are everywhere.

1. From OP:

My grandmother passed away just over two weeks ago. The family all went to see her for the last time. She was surprising aware of everything around her, and telling stories/joking.

I went and sat by her, and we talked for a little while about various things. Out of nowhere she said "Do you know who your real mother is?" Now, I have only ever known one woman to be my mother, and had never considered otherwise. I was shocked, and asked her to repeat herself, thinking I misheard her.

She said it again "Do you know who your real mother is?". I looked over to my aunt, with a confused look on my face, who addressed my grandmother "*** is his mother Nanny!". My grandmother laughed for a second and said "Oh yeah, I guess I know who your mother is too!".

Now, I'm fairly certain my mother is actually my mother. Since then, I have been trying to justify her saying that though. All I can think is either, she was very out of it and didn't know what she was saying. Or, there is someone else in my family who doesn't know their real mother, and she mistook me for them.

I'm not sure I should pursue this any further with my family, as any reason to keep it secret is probably a decent one. And I'm not so sure I want to know the answer.

But it also has me wondering, has anyone else had a major "plot twist" moment in their lives, whether it turned out true or not?

2. From daslobo:

My Grandfather was dying of cancer. He was a big, tough man and gradually just wasted away. Sometime near the end, he asked my Grandmother to bring him a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote down all the names of his 27 grandchildren. Next to my name was a check. Nobody else had anything next to their names. My Grandmother showed it to me after he died. She had no idea what it meant. I still think about that every once in awhile.

3. From FFandMMfan:

When I realized that my mom wasn't always "sick", she was completely wasted on drugs all the time.

4. From YOLOResponsibly:

The last thing my grandma said to me was, "See you tomorrow!" and as I walked out her hospital room she said, "...NOT!" I heard her laughing from down the hall at herself. She died four hours later.

5. From pleasehelpfamily:

When I was 15, my siblings and I were put into foster care. We had no idea why until the social worker told us that:

Parents were using drugs.

Our after school "jobs" were helping them pay for drugs. (They said our money was being saved)

My dad wasn't my real dad and 3 out of 5 of my siblings were half-siblings.

My real dad kidnapped my brother and I when we were babies. We were returned to my mom when he confessed to murdering a woman and then went to jail. He had since been released and we visited him to discover that he had started another family.

It was quite the mindf*ck.

6. From sailorsara:

My grampa was having trouble hearing and it took us a while to convince him to get a hearing aid. In the meantime he got a phone call saying his uncle John had died. He asked about a funeral and was told their wasn't one. That was 2, maybe 3 years ago. I really only saw John when he came up for Christmas, but he was quite the character and my whole family has missed him.

A couple weeks ago, my grampa's cousin came to visit. Grampa was talking about how he missed John since he died. His cousin said " what are you talking about I just saw him two weeks ago!". Turns out my grampa misheard the phone call. We figure someone else died but we still don't know who. John's probably been wondering why no one invites him for Christmas anymore, or visits, or calls.

TLDR: my relatives come back from the dead.

7. From mlacey916:

My twin sister and I were born through in vitro fertilization. Our mom wanted nothing more than to have kids, and her circumstances led her to use a sperm donor. When we were three years old, our mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. when we were six, she passed away. My sister and I were taken in by our aunt (our mom's younger sister). she already had two sons and a husband. It was a crazy and emotional time for all of us, but we have become an amazing family unit, and I consider my mom, dad, and brothers as much my immediate family as my sister.

You might think this was the major plot twist in my life, but it gets crazier. About four years ago, I learned that not only did my original mother have sperm donated to her, but she also had eggs donated to her as well - by her little sister. I lost my biological mom only to be rescued by my genetic mom. All those years I had laughed at the people who said I looked like my brothers and my mom, but the joke was on me. When I think about the sacrifices my two mom's have made for me and my sister, it blows my mind.

8. From carriegood:

I was looking for my social security card in my parents' desk and I found their marriage certificate. It was dated one year later than I thought, 6 months before I was born. All of a sudden, the years of thinking my mother resented being stuck home with kids, the terrible resentful marriage they had, it all made sense.

9. From hazywakeup:

I actually found out shortly after my grandmother died that she and her husband adopted my mom.

From where or why, we have no idea. Mom and I know that we have the same type of ethnic heritage as the people she thought were her parents, which probably indicates she was adopted from somewhere within the family or close friends.

Perhaps more interesting is the fact that on her deathbed, I was 100% convinced that my grandma was saying "I love you" and gathered the whole family to hear...

Only to realize that she was desperately thirsty, and saying "I want juice."

10. From heresahug:

Back when I was in college I got a girl pregnant. When my mother found out she broke down crying and divulged that I have a brother out there that I had never met. She had given the boy up for adoption long before I came around. I still wonder to this day if I will run into him.

11. From Lzk_Omega:

Not me but I have a friend who found out that his sister that is 14 years older than him is actually his mother.

He hates his sister.

12. From yakimushi:

When I was a kid my parents took me to Universal Studios in LA. When we were there we met Mr. T and I spent the next 20 years telling my friends that I had met Mr. T.

Everything came crashing down when I had dinner one night with my parents and a girlfriend. The topic of meeting famous people came up, and I told my Mr. T story. My parents chuckled and corrected me, "You mean you met a character impersonator playing Mr. T"

Childhood. Ruined.

13. From internet_friends:

When I was 12 or 13, my parents took me out to eat at a restaurant. My dad gave me some change to go play a couple arcade games there, and when I ran out of money, I sat back down. My parents had completely serious looks on their faces and my dad asked me, "How would you react if we told you that you were adopted?" I freaked out a bit and then they moved on to a different topic. I wondered about it for YEARS until I realized that I act just like my dad and I look like both my mom and my dad.

14. From FustyLuggz:

When I was 7, I found my birth certificate in the basement of my childhood home. The name under "Father" was not the man I'd believed to be my dad my entire life. I didn't tell anyone about it for years.

Edit : For clarification, I'm female. Also, thank you all for your responses.

15. From mr_majorly:

The largest one for me was finding out my parents were never married (although together for 15+years) because my father was still married to his first wife, who miraculously, got pregnant and had a child while he was in jail for a year for aiding and abetting a known felon.

He's a (converted) Kentucky Hillbilly that use to run moonshine back in the day. He refused to turn in his cousin.

Multiple things occurred to me that day:

• My dad is a felon.

• I'm a bastard.

• I have a "not quite half sister" somewhere.

• My mother basically had long affair with my father.

• I hope like hell there is no inbreeding somewhere because this story is the epitome of the stereotypes I had heard.

16. From nomorefrizz:

I thought I was going to inherit my mother's boobs my whole life. I waited. And waited. Then I found out that she got a boob job when I was little...

17. From StupidPumpkin:

My dad is a real life superhero. He has graphic synesthesia -- he sees numbers as colors and shapes because those sections of his brain are connected in ways normal people aren't -- and he used that to catch a man who was skimming accounts when he worked at a bank. If anyone's interested, I'll write out the full story.

Alright, here it is. My dad worked at a bank and for fun he'd scroll down through the account balances and watch the patterns of color. He did this just about every day, and over time he noticed more and more zeroes. They stood out because they're empty space to him and it looks "ugly". He was noticing this in a couple thousand accounts too, just a few black spaces at the end of strings of color. He took it to the police because his boss wasn't listening to him. Turns out his boss was the guy skimming the accounts, but the police never took the investigation seriously until my dad compiled the evidence on his own and took it to them.

My dad's a cool guy.

18. From theothergirlonreddit:

While at a party about five years ago I met a girl who I really clicked with (friends-wise - I'm a girl). I started talking about my boyfriend, but not by that title, by name. She proceeded to tell me she knew him and had actually recently been on a date with him and how it was the most romantic date she'd ever been on. My boyfriend. Of a year. Sh*t just got real.

Yes, we broke up shortly afterwards. That girl ended up being one of my best friends. We are friends to this day.

19. From wordwaffler:

The day we found out that the doctors were going to stop being aggressive with my father's treatment was very difficult. My grandparents flew back from Florida to get his affairs in order. Apparently my dad (a near broke alcoholic) had not paid any of his life insurance premiums. My grandparents found out and paid all the late bills which allowed my siblings to collect on the multi-million dollar policy.

To this day I am grateful because I didn't find out until a few days after about the whole situation. Now I have enough money to pay for college and buy my first home.

TL;DR: My dad was broke when he died, found out he had nearly 3 million in life insurance so that my siblings and I could go to school and start our lives.

20. From dangerpigdancer:

One of my cousins does not have the same father as her sisters. Their father found a hand written note in which their mother wrote about her affair, the pregnancy, and then confronted her about it. They ended up staying married, and are currently married to this day. My mother and father found out, and told me a few years ago (it was more a slip up that I continually pursued until I got the answers.) There are only 5 of us in the entire family that know; me, my mother, my father, and the cousins parents. The girl and her sister's have no idea.

People do wild things for attention. Social media exists because deep in the human psyche is a desire to be seen. It's Jenna Maroney's whole reason for being.

Redditors shared the worst things they've seen people do to get noticed, and it will make you feel a lot better about your social media addiction, as long as you haven't used Facebook to pretend to have cancer.

1. One wedding and a funeral.

I have an uncle like that....he's such a douchebag. At my grandmother's funeral, he couldn't even just let it be about her.

He got married...in front of her casket at the viewing. The low life, piece of sh*t couldn't even let her be the center of attention at HER funeral.

It was not announced, nor was it planned...or talked about with the rest of the family. He rolls into the church with his own priest, and his...fiance in a wedding dress. They go up and stand hand in hand in front of her casket as the entire church looks at them with their jaws on the floor. He yells out, "I know this is sudden, but I wanted to make sure my mother saw me and twatface get married...I know this is what she would have wanted". And they then proceed to have a 3 minute speed service wedding.

I do not even know how someone could look at themselves after something like that. -fassaction

2. Somewhere in Los Angeles a bro is adapting this into a movie.

An old [Friend With Benefits] invited me to her b-day barhopping party this summer. The theme was "Bachelorette Party" so she acted like she was engaged for all the male attention. On the bright side I did meet 3 or 4 lost Eskimo brothers. -ballness10

3. Who was the adult?

There was an art project I did in 4th grade where we had to make castles from scraps. i remember I worked very hard on my flawless castle. It was so epic that everyone in my class was impressed. when parents came to pick up their kids they would comment on how good mine was, but my mother couldn't stand all the attention I was getting and kept telling everyone she did the whole thing. wtf. -bindrequest

4. Tears really make the eyes pop.

In high school this girl, who was a semi-popular cheerleader, took pictures of herself crying and posted them to facebook with captions saying that her grandmother had just died. She had an entire album of pictures of her crying with many different angles. Fucking weird. -Poop666Butt

5. A real MIT student would be smarter about faking a trip to MIT.

I live in Argentina. A co worker faked a trip to the MIT in the states, told us he got a scholarship without the standard interviews because his IQ was too high, and then he said he rejected the offer and is back here.

The whole trip was faked, the dates don't add up, and all the pics he posted on Facebook are screenshots taken with street view.

Nobody told him we know, we are afraid he'll freak out and kill us all... -kromak

6. She was voted Most Likely To Star In A Soap Opera.

I was sitting in English class, waiting for bell to ring. Teacher discusses the syllabus for the week. Some girl interupts the teacher and starts bitching about how she didn't get much sleep last night because the teacher gave her too much work. She gets up to go get some tissues. In the middle of the room she does the most bullshit fake pass-out, with one hand on her forehead and one to stop her "fall". The teacher leave her there for 15 mins. She runs out the room screaming that no one pays any attention to her. She gets sent to the AP. -MonsterAddict

7. What a journey.

Roommate in college faked cancer...after faking being pregnant. She told me she was pregnant, but wanted to get an abortion. Then a few days later, I found her crying in our bathroom, where she told me that she wasn't actually pregnant, it turned out the weight gain was from thyroid cancer. She then went into detail about how she was going to lose all her hair and how terrible the chemo would be, etc.

Wouldn't you know it, come fall semester (this happened, thankfully, at the end of spring semester) she was still overweight, head full of hair, and not pregnant. -alwaysnewintown

8. Marriage is a sprint, not a marathon.

My brother-in-law just got married but his wife's sister was so jealous that she decided to jump into marriage months before.........to a guy she was dating for LITERALLY two and a half weeks. -pino6000

9. Sing it with me: "Sexy Shark doo doo do do do do."

This girl in middle school used to tell a story about how she went to Florida one summer and copulated with a shark. -78fivealive

10. What a social climber.

This girl that I went to school with liked to fall down the stairs on purpose for the attention. She was on crutches for about 75% of the 4 years I was in High School. It got to the point at the end that if any of the faculty saw her on any of the stairs she would get a suspension. -Duffstuff

11. Anyway, here's "Wonderwall."

Guy bust out a guitar at party. Guy can't play for sh*t. Guy blames it on being drunk. I'm pretty sure theres one at every party. -MeganFoxx

13. Jesus, take the wheel.

I had a mother in law that thought nobody was paying attention to her at last Christmas. So she changed into a white robe, packed a few clothes in a suitcase, grabbed a glass of red wine and sat on the back porch for a few hours. The family asked her what she was doing. She said, "Waiting on Jesus to take me". WOW I can't wait for the stories about this over this Christmas. -​​​​​​drew1111

14. Who would do such a thing?

Run for president of the USA. -bibbybobka

Sometimes it's more important to earn your child's trust than it is to punish them for breaking a rule...

Especially when it comes to raising teenagers who think they're immortal, sparkly vampires with unbreakable bodies of stone and an alcohol tolerance of an elephant, sometimes you need to make sure your kids trust you enough to ask for help if they ever feel unsafe. While most parents tell their teens that they won't ask them any questions if they ever need to be picked up from a rowdy house party and can't drive themselves home, that concept is a lot simpler in theory than it is in practice. Do most parents really have the restraint to not punish their teens for underage drinking and overall reckless decision-making? Probably not.

So, when a dad consulted the internet's moral compass of Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" to ask for a verdict on whether or not he did the right thing to keep his daughter's partying a secret from his wife, people were ready to help.

AITA (Am I the As*hole?) for not telling my wife that our daughter snuck out to a party late at night?

On Sunday at around 3 a.m, I received a call from my 16 year old daughter Brittany saying that she snuck out of the house and needed me to pick her up. She told me that she was a little drunk and that the friend who drove her left her behind and that more people were showing up at the party and she was uncomfortable. I begrudgingly told her sure and to wait for me somewhere safe.

I picked her up and got fast food with her so we could have time to talk without waking up the house. I told her how disappointed I was and that what she did wasn't fair to me since I have to work. She profusely apologized and told me that she wouldn't sneak out of the house again. However, she begged me not tell her Mom because she is ridiculously strict with types of thingsand I do sympathize with her as she is a teen so these types of things will happen no matter . I also was afraid that if I told her Mom that she would never trust me again and feel like that could be dangerous in case she ever needed help (like now).

So things were fine until Monday night when my wife saw a picture of the party on Instagram and Brittany was in it....... My wife lost her mind and started to interrogate Brittany about what she was doing , who was there, etc . She got really mad at her and made Brittany cry and go to her room. The problem though was that my wife asked how Brittany got there and back and she told the truth.... Now my wife is infuriated with me for not telling her. She got even more mad when I told her why I didn't. I said that I knew how she would react, that I didn't want to break Brittany's trust, and how protecting her safety (I want her to call me when she's in those situations) was more important than us telling each other everything. She stormed off too and we haven't really spoken much since then. AITA (Am I the As*hole?)

Also to note, we're in a country where social gatherings are still allowed so she wasn't mad about the covid aspect.

People were quick to offer their opinion:

It is a sh*tty situation but I would have made the same call and I think you are right that it is more important that your daughter trusts you. Mistakes happen. Kids sneak out. Lessons are learned. But you put yourself in a better position to be able to help her faster in a BIG mistake if she trusts you. - princezz_zelda

You should have discussed it with your wife, if only to assure her that you've already handled the situation. Your wife needs to control her tendency to fly off the handle as well. You're right that you want your daughter to choose the safest course of action when she's feeling like she needs help. Your wife is right that she should have been told. - magstar222

Your daughter trusted you enough to call you when she put herself into a sticky situation. That’s what teenagers do. You didn’t betray her trust and that’s super important. Your wife on the other hand needs to get it together. Doesn’t she remember what being 16 was like?

Reacting the way she did is a real easy way to make your daughter exhibit actual sneaky characteristics. - Dismal-Passenger

I think it's great that your daughter called you to pick her up because she didn't feel safe. She clearly trusts you more than her mom and she's mature enough to admit it. That being said, it wasn't good to keep this from your wife. There's always a chance of her finding out (which she did) and by doing so you basically let her know that you don't trust her and that you're keeping secrets from her. I think you two should have told your wife the morning after and try to agree on a light punishment. After all, she didn't have permission to sneak out to that party. - PygmeePony

I agree with every reason you said. You keeping your daughter safe and trying to not break her trust was really important. I grew with with parent like you and your wife, knowing I could trust my dad no matter what helped me a lot. I still call my dad whenever I feel troubled and I never hid anything from him.

On the other hand, she is your wife's daughter as well and she needed to know. I understand her frustration. You should have talked to your daughter and convinced her to tell the mum in the morning or evening after the party. It would be better for everyone. - reallynotsohappy

It is good that your daughter trusts you enough to call when she needed help. Better that than stuck at a party where she is uncomfortable. - 21CenGal

you and your wife should be parent as a team. This situation makes you the savior and her the villain.

I think it’s great you wanted to make sure your daughter still trusts you, but I see why your wife is furious. - Dead2MyFamily

So, there you have it!

The general opinion is that while it is critical that your children (especially teenagers) trust you as their parent, it's also necessary that you and your partner are on the same page in how you co-parent. Keeping secrets from one another can escalate into bigger communication problems down the road for each member of the family, and this dad should've probably told his wife about the party. That being said, he wasn't totally in the wrong and the fact that matters most is that his daughter is safe. Good luck everyone!

The concept of a "dying wish" might sound reflexively depressing, but there are plenty of examples of funny, creative, and surprising dying wishes.

By definition, a dying wish generally refers to the last thing someone wants to experience before they pass away, or the specific ways they'd like to be celebrated and remembered after their passing. Depending on the personality, this can range from predictably formal to fully outlandish.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the strangest dying wish a loved one has had, and it may inspire some morbid brainstorming.

1. From OP:

My aunt's dying wish was that she and my uncle be cremated and put into the same (giant, bullet-shaped) urn. My cousin was left with orders to shake them up at least once a month so they could have some fun.

2. From MuchDance1996:

My great uncle found out he had cancer and it was really bad. Near the end he was sent home to wait for death pretty much. So he decided to bring all his boys back home to drink a case of his favorite beer, under the apple tree he planted as a child at the farm house. His ashes are in those bottles under the tree to this day.

3. From bobdavis_33n:

My dad wanted to be cremated and mixed with my mom. When I told her this she said "Oh hell no!"

4. From Someone_Hold_Me:

My Geology teacher told us he wants his ashes thrown in the water over Marianas Trench. Apparently it's a subduction zone, and in a few million years he'll become a rock.

5. From MeganSense:

My Dad: cremated and put into a paper bag and then held out the window while drive up Hwy 400 in Ontario...until he discovered donating your body to science gets you a free funeral.

His Best Friend: cremated and turned into shot gun shells to be fired on every continent.

6. From brainchild435:

My buddy wants to have a full bar at his funeral with his coffin as the bar, so everyone can have one last drink on him. I feel its awfully morbid for a pun.

7. From keeperoftheworld:

Just last night my husband told me that if he dies before me, he wants me to re-marry for money.

8. From RandomHawkeye:

My buddy wants to have a radio at his funeral playing the song "It's a great day to be alive."

9. From stygianstank:

My grandfather wanted to be cremated and put into an old Mickey Mouse Club lunch box...then hurtled from a bridge in Northern California.

10. From boblahblah101:

My Grandpa Earl heard about a woman who made earrings and other glass art from the ashes of the Mount Saint Helen's eruption. So he contacted her to ask if she could do the same with his ashes. Amazingly she said yes. So he made plans to have a pair of earrings made for my Grandma and his four daughters. As his name was Earl, he kept calling them "Earlrings."

My Grandma and one of my aunts were appalled by the idea, so they came to a compromise. Instead of having his cremated remains made into earrings, he had them made into glass balls. Now every member of our family has their own piece of him.

11. From sadie14:

My grandma was a very sophisticated lady. She always dressed and acted properly. My grandpa died four years before she did, and her health gradually declined after he was gone. She was very sick towards the end, and the doctor gave her a week or two. Our family was with her in the hospital everyday. One morning she woke up demanding we go buy her tennis shoes. Tennis shoes? She never wore stuff like that.

She told us she had a dream she was walking with Mel (my grandpa) and it was so far. He told her, "If you think this is far, you should wear different shoes!" After that story, my dad ran out and bought her some nikes. She died in her sleep 12 hours later wearing them, and was buried in them. I'm not religious, but it gives me goose bumps thinking about the comfort she must have felt, thinking that there was a possibility that death meant reuniting with him.

12. From BubbaGumpScrimp:

I never got to go to my grandfather's funeral because I was going on a school trip to D.C. while he was sick. I told him I didn't really want to go, but he was insistent that I go. We both knew it was getting near his time, but he knew how much I loved history and that I probably wouldn't get a chance for a long time again. That night, while I was on the bus, he died.

His last words to me were "BGS, go see the world. I never got to leave this country. I want you to see everything. Not for me. For you."

Will do, Grandpa. Will do.

13. From itsrainingben:

My great aunt was cremated, and in her will it stated "I would like 'Disco Inferno' by The Trammps to play as people are leaving my funeral service.

We did it.

"Burrrrnn babby burrrrn"

14. From wryguy89:

I was helping someone write a will, she said she wanted her cat put to sleep and buried with her if she died first. We didn't end up putting that in the will.

15. From keeok:

My dad wants to be burried in a coffin dressed like dee snider back in the 80s with the shoulderpads, long hair and all the make up.

16. From Gypsy_Liz:

My Dad wanted to be cremated, have his ashes mixed in paint, and then painted on a helicopter so he could finally fly like a pilot (he was blind for most of his adult life).

He died in November, and I'm still trying to figure out how to make this happen for him.

17. From acedj10:

My mom hasn't kicked the bucket yet, but she has told me (and I quote)

"f*ck this 'everybody be sad bullshit' when I die, you are to throw a party. There will be booze and food and shit. And a DJ. It must be crazy. If the cops don't show up to shut it down, you are a disgrace to me and the entire family"

18. From major_duckn_cover:

When my uncle passed away he wanted his ashes to be spread in Hawaii to force everyone to have a good time. I'm going to do the same.

19. From Bat_Sam:

My dad once saw a grave that said 'Gone, but not forgotten." So he decided that he wants his grave to say "Forgotten, but not gone" to freak out people reading it.

20. From Carbon_Blob:

My dad wants a speaker to play a tape of him saying fun things out of his coffin like:

-Pull my finger!

-Smells like somebody died in here...

and so forth.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

-Rita Rudner

When taking your wedding vows you promise to love, honor, and cherish your spouse for all the days of your lives. The crazy thing is, these vows apply even on the days where you want to light the other person on fire. At least there's one thing you can both definitely agree on. These memes are funny and relatable AF for anyone who's ever said, "I do."

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Disney World may be the "most magical place on Earth." But a lot of blood, sweat and tears goes on behind-the-scenes to making all that magic happen. And many of these tricks and secrets are kept from the public. Someone asked Reddit, "what is a Disney World secret that you know?" and there were a ton of responses from people with insider info. on the world-famous theme park.

Here are 22 juicy and informative Disney World secrets that might make your next trip there just a little more magical:

1.) From ShibaInusForever:

Disney World is actually on a "second floor." When you enter the park, you must walk up. This is because on the ground level "or first floor" is where they put their "underground tunnels" to transport workers secretly throughout the park. They couldn't actually build underground tunnels since Disney World is on swampland.

2.) From PartyWizard:

There is a podcast called “Stuff they don’t want you to know” that goes deep into the secrets of how Disneyworld property was bought and how they blamed the ford motor company for buying up all the land so they could get it for cheap. Lots of shell companies used to purchase real estate are now the names of the stores on Main Street.

3.) From FoxyGrampa:

If you meet someone who says they work for Disney and you ask them if they dress up as a character and they say, “no, but I’m friends with Mickey”

They are Mickey

4.) From EBone12355:

Went to college in San Diego, the job boards used to advertise for summer jobs at Disneyland. The jobs for characters all stated “Must be 4’8” to 5’2” or 6’5” to 7’0””. Always cracked me me they had no character positions in the average height range.

5.) From Panda_Hero01:

Walt's apartment in Disneyland used to have a firepole in it that Walt would use to leave the apartment, but one day an adventurous guest climbed up it while Walt was talking with some friends. They removed the firepole shortly after.

6.) From PmMeYourDiscordChat:

If you're tired of the crowds or the heat, either go to the Hall Of Presidents between showtimes and chill in the shop part or to the Stave Church Gallery in EPCOT Norway. It's rarely got people in it. There is also an outlet where you can charge your devices.

7.) From nipslip_:

I knew someone who worked at Disney World in Orlando and said they release cats at night after the parks close to control the rodent population. They collect the cats at the end of the night and keep them in the underground series of offices and pathways they use to make navigating the parks easier.

I wonder whose nightmare job it is to herd the cats back to their lair.

8.) From myfriendjack511:

Cleanliness is part of every cast member's job. They teach the "Disney scoop" (picking up trash while not breaking your stride) at new hire orientation called Traditions

9.) From grabbypatty555:

If a cast member asks you if you want to “have a Magical Mickey Day” - they are asking if you’d like to skip the entire line. I’ve been to Disney World probably ten times. This only happened the one time I took my daughter who uses a wheelchair. It truly WAS a magical day. Best WDW trip I ever had (besides my first, when I was 8).

10.) From 31theories:

The Beatles officially broke up at Disney World. John Lennon signed the contract that legally dissolved the band while he was staying at the Polynesian Resort across from Cinderella’s castle.

Also Nixon’s “I am not a crook” television address was filmed inside Disney’s Contemporary Resort where he was staying as a guest.

11.) From sports_is_life:

Every "land" in the parks has its own unique soundtrack, and when you transition between lands the music is a cross between what you hear in both lands so that's it seamlessly transitions. Except between Tomorrowland and Fantasyland, as there is no natural way for those soundtracks to blend. So outside of the tomorrowland speedway is the only place in any Disney park where there is no music

Edit: I got some more

The tower of terror is so tall, that it can be viewed from epcot. To not break immersion, the back of the tower was designed to architecturally fit in with the Morocco Pavillion

The tower of terror at night has a singular window with a light on with the silhouette of a man in the window

Animal kingdom is the only park with doors on the bathrooms, in case an animal escapes its enclosure

Kilimanjaro safaris has a larger area than the magic kingdom

All Disney cast members (official name of their employees) when giving directions never point with one finger

When Walt Disney died, his older brother Roy came out of retirement to oversee phase 1 of Disney world. He renamed it Walt Disney World, and died 3 months after the magic kingdom opened

The boats on the jungle cruise and the riverboat in the rivers of America are on a guided rail

On Main Street and in other areas, smells are artificially pumped in (smell of baked goods outside the bakery for example)

Forced perspective is used to make the buildings look taller or smaller. On Cinderella castle, the bricks and windows get smaller as you go up. On the American Adventure in epcot, the bricks are enlarged to make the massive building appear as only 2 stories

The amount of lightning rods in the parks is scary

Walt Disney World is the largest single-location employer in the US

Animal kingdom doesn't have fireworks because of the animals. Instead, it has a water and light show

The Polynesian resort and contemporary resort were built using modular construction. The contemporary was built with a frame, with the rooms lifted into place. The Polynesian had the rooms stacked, with the frame built around them

Every building at Disney world is less than 200 feet tall, so they do not have to put a blinking red light on the top. The tallest building is 199.5 feet

If you see an ornate phone anywhere in the parks, pick it up. There's usually a conversation you can listen to

You used to be able to call the phone booth in the U.K. Pavilion in Epcot

There is a drawbridge in epcot for the globe for IllumiNations to get into the middle of the lake

Disney World has its own bus, monorail, and ferry system between parks and hotels, which are all complimentary regardless if you're staying in a hotel or not

Every single ride and land has a backstory. Even basic things like the carousel have a story to them

The Carousel of Progress is narrated by the narrator from A Christmas Story

On the peoplemover in tomorrowland, you pass by Walt Disney's original model for EPCOT. The large model isn't even the entire thing, which used to take up the entire second floor of the Carousel of Progress when it was at Disneyland

The parking lot of the magic kingdom is a mile away, so it feels more magical to get to the park by monorail or ferry

The seven seas lagoon is only 10 feet deep

There is a restaurant in Hollywood studios where you sit in cars and watch trailers for old sci-fi movies on a big screen like a drive in theater

When in line for the jungle cruise, listen to the radio host. He has some funny jokes and puns delivered in the same style as the jungle Cruise guides

12.) From EricaM13:

There’s a Cast Member only recreation area called Mickey’s Retreat. It has all sorts of recreational activities like basketball courts, baseball diamonds, etc. it also has water sports equipment like paddle boats! Its only for cast members and their immediate family though.

There’s hidden cast member only stores inside the parks.

The underground tunnels actually smell, and are incredibly hilly. It used to take me 20 minutes to walk from my location in the park to the employee shuttle via the underground tunnels.

A lot of things at Disney are designed to tell a story. Ever notice how you can’t just drive to Magic Kingdom and you have to take the monorail, a boat, or a bus and walk in? Thats because the imagineers want to transport you back in time to a town called Marceline where Walt grew up. Main Street is modeled after a typical small town Main Street but with his home town playing a role in a lot of details. From there MK is set up like a hub-spoke system to help manage traffic in the park. Most people naturally head towards the left and go clockwise. The spokes (the hub being the castle) lead to each land.

At Hollywood Studios, there are offices hidden in the parks as well. Imagineers work in these offices. They come out every day for the Dining with an Imagineer guests.

Imagineers aren’t just people who design rides, movies, games, or the like. Imagineers can also be librarians, historians, and even chefs!

13.) From [deleted]:

No gum is sold in park shops.

Security personnel are often dressed normally to blend in, and they won't immediately apprehend shoplifters because they don't want to break the atmosphere. Instead, they follow shoplifters until they can confront them more discreetly.

If a child breaks a souvenir they've purchased, the staff has permission to give the child a free replacement.

14.) From Zoahking:

In high school my marching band was part of a parade. They had us come around the back, and drive through this very dense forest area with a road. It led to a massive area with building for changing and a few restrooms. The buildings were only at ground level so they didn't overtake the trees hiding them. When we were starting the parade, they led us out to large gate that opened. When we looked back it was a false wall for the area. We saw it close because we were the last group in the parade. When we came back the next day to have fun and relax, I decided to go and look at the wall. There is no way you could tell it was a large door from that side.

The amount of effort put into all of the areas is phenomenal.

15.) From hyena142:

Alright, my time to shine.

Despite looking monstrous from the train station end of Main Street, Cinderella Castle is only 183 ft. tall (still pretty big imo). This is thanks to forced perspective, as the castle is on elevated platforming and the ground you walk on is not.

If you sit in the back row of Splash Mountain you don't get nearly as wet. I like to play around with people who don't like getting wet by telling them this, getting them on the ride, and then after the point of no return saying "Wait...maybe it was the front row."

Imagineers were having difficulty coming up with the name for Splash Mountain. They knew they wanted to base it off of Song of the South, but nothing seemed to stick. CEO at the time Michael Eisner suggested calling it "Splash Mountain", removing the Song of the South tie ins and instead theming it to the upcoming Tom Hanks movie "Splash". Imagineers quickly vetoed the idea, but the name stuck.

Wondering how the walls stretch in the Haunted Mansion? In the California version, the Stretching Room is actually an elevator that brings you downstairs into the ride area. But since the Imagineers couldn't make an elevator in Florida, they did the next best thing: raise the roof!

Contrary to popular myth, there are no ashes of dead kids left behind by mourning parents on Haunted Mansion or any other ride for that matter. The rides are monitored at all times for people pulling stuff like this, and at first sight of someone dropping ashes on a ride track a "white powder alert" is immediately sent out. The ride is closed and the ashes are vacuumed up and sent away by the Disney clean-up crew. So unless you want little Timmy to be spending eternity in an Orlando landfill, don't try to leave him behind on Disney property.

Peter Pan's Flight was the first ride to open after Disney World's Grand Opening. It launched on Oct 2 1971...precisely one day after the grand opening.

The animatronics you see in the Dwarf Cottage at the end of the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train are actually reused from an opening day Snow White ride that doesn't exist anymore.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is full of tributes to old attractions. It's hard for adults to spot this one, but if you can squeeze yourself inside the giant tree at the ride's entrance you can see an engravement of the Nautilius, the submarine used in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. While onboard the ride look to your right immediately after entering Owl's house. You can see a portrait of Mr. Toad giving the deed to the building over to Owl, as his ride occupied the building previously.

Want a top score on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin? There are two specific targets that get you mad points. The first is on the hand of the orange robot in the first room, and the second is on the bottom of Zurg's ship in the first room you see him.

Every country in Epcot's World Showcase employs people from that specific country ONLY, no exceptions.

In Japan in World Showcase, don't miss the Kakigori from a small stand just outside the land's main area. It's the best shaved ice you'll ever have.

When passing by a major thrill ride that has an outdoor segment visible from a nearby pathway (for example Tower of Terror or Expedition Everest), it's not uncommon to hear screams from the ride. However, these are piped in ambience and not from the actual riders. You can tell because whenever there's a nighttime show going on nearby everyone suddenly stops screaming!

Muppet-Vision 3D has plenty of animatronics representing the characters from the show, but one often goes missed by viewers because of how brief and hidden his appearance is. Towards the end of the movie the film is destroyed and the screen goes white. When that happens, look behind you and you can catch a glimpse of the Swedish Chef!

The Yeti animatronic on Expedition Everest is one of the largest and most complex Disney has ever designed...and because of that he hasn't worked since 2008. The story about why he's been stuck for over a decade now varies depending on who you ask, but now when he makes his climactic appearance at the end of the ride his movement is simulated by a flashing strobe light and some fans blowing on his fur. Disney fans continue to petition for Imagineers to fix him.

The beautiful giant mural you see when exiting the Monorail station in the Contemporary resort was designed by Mary Blair, who's style was also the inspiration for it's a small world.

16.) From HEY_BAWS:

Disney is the second largest purchaser of explosives in the country, right behind the military.

Tower of Terror is randomized in amount of drops on every ride

There is a special lounge in spaceship earth that only employees of the sponsoring company, Siemens, can enter

The termite mounds in Kilamanjaro Safaris are actually fake and are in fact feeders for the animals

You can take a behind the scenes tour of Living with the Land in Epcot

There is a Starbucks in every park in WDW

17.) From --Doom--:

The names, companies and dates on the windows of main street are all references to Disney history. One example is when Disney started buying land in Florida to build Disney world he knew that if everyone knew he was buying land he would be charged way more money than was reasonable so he bought most of the land using lots of smaller fake companies to save money. Some of these company names are on the windows on main street. For example M. T. Lott real estate.

18.) From [deleted]:

If your kid drops their ice cream or loses their balloon. You can ask a cast member for a replacement.

19.) From caro_line_:

Oooh ooh I'm a cast member!! There's a subway sandwich shop in every park (but just for cast) and I honestly thought that was the coolest thing ever

Also Mickey is (almost) always a girl

20.) From Keabo:

Walt Disney's "two finger point" you see in all the pictures of him around the park is really a picture of him smoking, with the cigarette edited out.

21.) From punchybot:

They call all their customers "guests".

When someone is bad (like a shop lifter) they refer to them as a "customer".

22.) From Kraymur:

Club 33 is a secret club inside Disney Land located in New Orleans Square on “33 Royal Street" with like a 10 year waiting list, Corporate members pay a $40,000 initiation fee while individuals pay a $24,000 fee, and annual fees of $11,000. It was originally intended for Corporate sponsors and VIP's. If you know someone personally who has a pass, you might get in for free.

Have you ever met someone and thought, "How did they survive this long without basic knowledge?"

A recent Reddit thread asked people, "What's something you can't believe you had to explain to another adult?" The answers prove that plenty of grown-ups are confused about everything from how calories work to whether dinosaurs exist.

1. This is how you know the VFX were solid.

That Jurassic Park wasn't a real place.

I wish i was joking. - thats-my-dc-in-a-box

2. Sending explosives in the mail isn't the best idea.

Back when I was active duty Air Force, I had to explain to a woman I worked with why she should not mail fireworks to her husband. See, he was going to miss Independence Day. Because he was deployed in Iraq. - The_first_viking

3. Just... why would this ever be the case?

That getting paid every 2 weeks doesn’t mean you pay more in taxes than getting paid every week - nokatydidnt92

4. Seeing is literally their job. It's in the name.

Seeing-eye dogs are not also blind. - Orange-Kids

5. Sigh. Nicotine is a hell of a drug.

I used to work at hospital. One of the most frequent things I had to tell people was why it was a bad idea to smoke near their relatives or friends who had oxygen tanks. - tiredwriter633

6. Very different.

Vitamin C and Calcium are different - wispydoo

7. Umm... what??

Coworker of mine laughed when a customer told me he was English and said “that’s the language we speak, he means he’s American.” - DarkstarArmy

8. Yikes.

I had a friend when I was a kid. She was American , living here in Canada for a year. She absolutely refused to believe that the language she spoke was English. She insisted she spoke American. After about an hour of arguing about it, I finally just told her that I speak Canadian then, and I can't understand her, and left. - PersonMcNugget

9. And we thought flat-earthers were bad.

Once met a girl who thought there was a sun for every state. - TroyHutz

10. Someone thought Vegas weddings didn't count.

That if you get married in Vegas it's legally binding everywhere - missmore66

11. Who's "they"?

My wife’s friend was visiting last winter and tagged along for a quick ski trip to our local mountain in the PNW. Was one of those perfect winter wonderland days with great snow cover and a light snow. While we were riding the lift up the friend turns to me and asks “How did they get the snow to look so perfect on the trees?”.

She’s 33 and she wasn’t joking. - id1982

12. Easy mistake to make.

I had to explain to my 32 year old sister that dogs have a normal vision and not vision based on movement like a t-rex in Jurassic park - MuffinParking5982

13. Flights are loud for a reason.

That the engines on the plane we were flying in could not be turned off during the flight just because she thought they were too loud. - erinwrestles

14. Are you sure though?

That Ireland is a real country and not just a made up place for leprechauns and four leaf clovers - orei-noodles

15. Eat the rich.

My boss once asked me what you're supposed to do with trash if you don't have a garbage disposal in your sink.

Confused, I said : You mean, like put it in a trash can? He said : Is that what it is?

Never seen someone that disconnected from reality. - splashingseal

16. This guy obviously just wanted to wear a plastic cone for a week.

If getting a vasectomy is the same as what the vet did to his male cat. He was an engineer and I was the health insurance rep. I assured him that unlike his cat, he would still have his testicles. - InternationalPurple8

17. Well, it is south of a border.

That Portugal isn't next to Brazil and than Spain isn't "just south of the border" - GirraffesRamazing246

18. His parents should be fired.

That you had to add dish washing detergent to the dishwasher to actually wash the dishes. He thought detergent was to dis-infect them. I guess that’s 1/2 right? This is a 40-year-old man who is a practicing lawyer. - themcmlxvviii

19. The bidet one is truly something.

That the plural of shelf is not shelf's. That Sasquatch is not a type of fruit. That a bidet is not your sex drive. That a blank CD is not a CD writer.

This was all the same guy. - Frantastic79

20. Maps are hard.

That the U.S. has never been at war with India and that Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan, have nothing to do with India... He was in the military which is the terrifying part. - bigg0622

21. If only...

Alcohol has calories.

I had to be the one to tell my friend when she was in her mid-20s that the vodka she loved had calories. She was so shocked and said, "What!?! I thought since it was clear like water it didn't have any calories." - -eDgAr-

22. That's just like, your opinion.

I used to manage a bookstore and I once had to tell a customer that we didn’t have any historical reference books about dragons because dragons weren’t real. - fallencathedral

23. Looking at them helps.

how to tell if dishes in the dishwasher were clean or dirty. - Diggingcanyon

“Single – too fabulous to settle.”

– Mandy Hale

Greetings to all of the fabulously single people out there. These memes will be funny and relatable as hell for all of us who are unattached. Enjoy the fun and freedom of single life while you can. You never know, your soulmate may be right around the corner laughing at this exact same meme list.

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Attention shoppers: They say that "the customer is always right," but as anyone who has every met a person knows, people are often wrong. And stupid. And stubborn about it.

1. The flip side.

2. Lego: all assembly required

3. But first, let me ask about selfies

4. We meant the vehicle, Susan.

5. Kebabs not included.

6. This dairy drinker who thought expiry dates were the opposite.

7. Oops.

8. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

9. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

10. Mamma mia.

11. There's no evidence it was ever even there.

12. A very millennial anecdote.

13. Go Gran!

14. There's a map for that.

15. Wait for it.

16. She's not a veteran of the vet.

School is hard enough to get through without all the stupid rules that are enforced.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to recall the dumbest rules that were enforced at their school. The answers won't make you miss your school days at all.

1. This is why bullies always got away with it.

If someone started a fight with me and I defended myself, I'd be in just as much trouble. - HybridS9ldier

2. Bulletproof logic.

Denim jackets, biker jackets and Doctor Marten's Boots were all banned.

The kids who were always fighting usually wore these things so the logic was if they ban these items of clothing the fighting will stop.

It didn't work. - Danny_Mc_71

3. Gotta teach the kids sexism early!

Males were forced to participate in gym shirtless while females could not participate in gym in a sports bra or wear spaghetti strap shirts during regular class as it was deemed to be distracting. - HoratioMegellen

4. Were they afraid the teacher would steal someone's water bottle to put vodka in it?

you couldn't have a water bottle. You could purchase one from the cafeteria during breakfast or lunch, but god forbid you take it out of the place. This was put in place because a teacher (not a student, mind you) brought vodka in a water bottle like 20 years before I went there. - Joshuphigh

5. This seems like a slight overreaction.

We had a rule called the F-Bomb rule. If you said f*** you were taken to the police station in handcuffs and your parents were given a $300 ticket - somerandofromtexas

6. Those extra few inches of visible thigh can really make or break your education.

The finger rule where your skirt or shorts had to be longer than where your fingers are on your leg. WHAT IF YOU HAVE LONG ASS ARMS?!? Not fair mostly cause some people have short ass arms that get away with having short shorts. - Elizis

7. Who does this help?

you must wear dark blue socks and not black. If you break it, you get a detention. - eliventure

8. If someone really wants to have a gun, this rule isn't going to stop them.

Can't wear longer coats 'cause you might be hiding a gun, but carry around large instrument cases/backpacks/bags all day? Sure, why not? - Poops_McClanahan

9. If everyone would just ban baseball caps, gang violence would be solved.

No baseball caps because APPARENTLY, the logos look too much like gang symbols. - Emeraldkipy

10. Makes sense.

We had an "up stairs" and a "down stairs" located at opposite ends of the school. I got detention for going up the down stairs, in the middle of classes, with nobody else in the hall. - Jim_dckskin

11. This school created many useless rules.

A kid was running and fell at recess? Now teachers had to make guard and assure no KID was RUNNING during the only HALF HOUR of free time they had (teachers hated it, but the directing board forced them). Some child used too much toilet paper? Now all kids who were going to the bathroom had to ask for toilet paper to the teacher so that she could give him a couple of sheets.

A boy teased a girl during class? Now teachers had to make sure no male/female interaction occurred during class time.

All my years there (elementary and junior high) were marked by small incidents becoming useless rules everyone forgot about after a week. This didn't stop the principals from creating them though. - OmegaPower24

12. Mandatory dancing sounds like torture.

My school would put music and make us dance in the morning along with singing, our teachers would be watching if we participated, if you didn’t you would get “detention” and wouldn’t be able to go on the playground during lunch time, nor be able to sit with your friends. - srewwz

13. Only pure cocaine will be tolerated at this school.

We had an assembly at school that I wasn't there for because I had the flu. When I got back to school my one of my friends told me that the principal said "No putting baking soda in a plastic bag and pretending that it's cocaine". She also said a bunch of other absurd and oddly specific things to the students but I don't remember them all. - square_kirby

14. Makes total sense.

In the late '90s there was a sour candy called Raven's Revenge that was popular. It came in a test tube. The PTA had it banned because they thought it was a gateway to hard drugs. - Intercerebellar

15. Hmmm...

You can't dress as the opposite gender for Halloween - Dork-is-snart

16. Can't argue with that logic.

If someone said something rude about you or something along the lines of that and you confronted them it was considered bullying -_- - CuteBunny0

17. Snitching is mandatory at this school.

Pretty much a rule that connects all rules - you must tell a teacher about any problems. They didn't even think about violent fights! I remember being in a fight , defending myself, and only I got in trouble because I had to protect myself! Worse yet, they went for me just because I didn't tell a teacher! How would I find a teacher in the middle of a fights where if I lowered my guard looking for a teacher, I'd get hit hard? - chookity-juice

18. This person had problems.

My primary (elementary) school principal was weird. No playing on the oval at recess or lunch. When else can we use the oval? during class time? She once stood in front of the toilet block refusing access to all students because "too many kids were using the bathroom." Oh so surprising when a huge influx of kids entered the school and the toilet block is too small! - Whoareyouyessir

19. When will schools stop torturing girls with the dress code?

Most things that had to do with girls' dress code was stupid and sexist - Jasmine11223

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

-Phyllis Diller

These funny memes will definitely put a smile on your face this morning. Granted, I know smiling and laughing at anything before noon seems downright impossible, but I believe these memes will do the trick. Kick back and enjoy the show.

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Leaving online reviews for products or businesses can often be an act of passive aggressive venting and long-winded, poetic complaints. However, something about reviewing an actual person feels very dystopian and can get escalate very quickly...

"Rate My Professor" and other websites dedicated to giving angry (or occasionally complimentary) students a voice, can also sometimes be hilariously cruel. Professors reading their own reviews can feel like celebrities reading Tweets from nasty trolls and bots, and students can often get oddly specific with their descriptions of teaching practices. Then, of course, there are the reviews based strictly on how attractive a professor is measured in hot peppers. The internet for college students is the wild West.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "Professors of Reddit: Do you ever look yourself up on RateMyProfessor and if so, what is the funniest review someone has ever left about you?" professors were ready to share their most memorable "student evaluations." Remember, that professor you think is mean for making you work hard is also a person with feelings! Be nice-especially if you're leaving a review before winter break and their whole family is about to make fun of them over the holidays for their "wicked witch of the campus-avoid like plague-smells weird, but pretty hot" review.

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My aunt is a professor and so is her daughter.

One Christmas we looked up their RateMyProfessor profiles and they asked why they both had these "flaming cheeto peppers" by their names.

The reviewers weren't wrong, I just wish that I hadn't needed to be the interpreter there... - transnavigation

2.

I looked up my partner on RateMyProfessor. Someone wrote that he is so attractive it's hard to pay attention.

I agree, random undergrad. - scenicbyway708

3.

There have been some fun ones, however this one from back in early 2000s always stuck out to me:

I hope you get the bird flu and die. However, before you die, you understand that you gave it to your wife and family and they all die. And then you die with the knowledge that you killed them. - profzoff

4.

"Son of a b*tch ate the last chicken nugget in the dining hall. Great professor, but the theft of nuggets is a sin I cannot forgive." - thatyellowishthing

5.

The funniest review was from an organ performance major.

He said that I was "the only instructor who could effectively teach organ technique and the performance of literature in the studio while simultaneously correcting a wrong note he heard coming from a piano major across the hall in a practice room!" - Back2Bach

6.

One of my fav uncles is a professor at a local state college that’s pretty fancy. So my aunt and I looked it up. Pm everyone loves his class, clear expectations, clear explaining, but one person said they were worried about his teeth cause of how much Diet Coke he drinks in class. - Amberwash

7.

"This teacher is so cool that I can't believe she is as old as she is." - Araucaria2024

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A colleague once proudly told us that he came across some graffiti in a toilet about him, it said "Dr xx xx sucks c*ck" - TakenIsUsernameThis

9.

They gave me a bad review and said I was a terrible professor because I made them read a 200-300 page novel per week in a creative writing class. No homework, just read it and come ready to discuss it.

Imagine. I made them read stuff. - truesilk

10.

“you were great, but your height was distracting.”..... I’m average height. - Cucumberappleblizz

11.

My very first comment was: in all caps, "Don't take her!! All she ever does is talk about witches and fairytales and then throws the assignment at you expecting you to know everything."

For starters, it was one day. It was a genre-themed writing class and we did one day on the fairy tale genre discussing structure, themes, etc. They read the "The Snow Queen" and then they could do an optional extra credit assignment about Frozen.

This was posted on the day we discussed fairy tales and I also returned a major essay that day. A student threw a huge hissy fit in class over a B+ instead of an A. I pulled her aside and went through her paper with her explaining deductions. She apparently was still mad.

That was my only comment and rating for awhile. - homeawayfromhogwarts

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“He might look like Santa, but he sure ain’t jolly!” - inthelibraryathome

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It’s two words long: “The devil.”

Twice. I got that twice. Either two students left it, or one wanted to make sure you didn’t miss it. Either way, I whooped out loud and showed all my friends.

(Understand, most of my scores are positive, and I do care about what my students think and doing right by them. But that just hit me funny: “The devil.“) - helicopterpurple

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She was lit ! - iTechSun

15.

Something to the effect of "she's so awkward I would leave 30 minutes into each class." It was one negative review out of tons of positives so it stood out for a while, which I found hilarious. Not denying I can be awkward, I teach math, it's our jam. But nobody leaves 30 minutes into class, we do classwork every day and they basically get participation points for working together on that days topic. 1, I notice when someone leaves because they won't get credit and 2, nobody that semester had left class early more than once, I was in a tiny room and the door was by the board. My guess is it was the student who was LIVID to find out at the end of the semester that they had to be in class, despite it showing in their syllabus, reflected in their online gradebook, and multiple reminders from me, they had only shown for tests. And then I wouldn't let them make up those grades finals week. - announcerkitty

16.

I only teach online and never meet my students, but somehow got a chili pepper. I also had a student complain that I liked my subject too much. - Coconut-bird

17.

HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND WILL FAIL YOU EVEN WHEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!

My dad has no clue who this is, considering no one has ever told him that they had cancer and couldn't make it to class. - YutBrosim

Ivanka Trump is currently getting roasted on Twitter for posting a bizarre selfie of herself with the a can of Goya beans.

The picture, which looks like a still straight out of "The Stepford Wives," shows Ivanka smiling robotically as she dutifully holds a can of Goya black beans. The caption, which truly adds to the overall bizarre factor, reads: "If it's Goya, it's got to be good."

The photo comes as a direct response to a trending #BoycottGoya campaign, which took shape after the CEO Robert Unanue praised Donald Trump.

Unanue was invited to speak at The White House last week, during which he expressed profound support of the president:

"We're all truly blessed at the same time to have a leader like President Trump, who is a builder."

Given the fact that Goya is the largest Hispanic-owned food company in the U.S., and Trump has called Mexicans rapists, his administration has quietly worked to gut rights for asylum seekers during the pandemic, and there are currently concentration camps springing up across the country, a lot of people who love Goya's products felt betrayed.

AOC was just one of many voices urging people to boycott Goya after Unanue's praise of Trump.

Even after the wave of backlash, Unanue doubled down on his love of Trump, and claimed the boycott was a suppression of his free speech.

As a response to the boycott, some Trump supporters have decided to support the brand, and it's within this context that Ivanka posted her Goya black beans selfie.

It didn't take long for people to start calling out the innate hypocrisy of the photo.

Others brought up the fact that the Trump administration has been actively keeping children, and entire families in cages, and that posing with a can of beans won't undo or distract people from that fact.

Other people pointed out the fact that it's actually a breach of ethics for a White House adviser to endorse a food brand online, so on top of the deep cringe, the picture violates The Hatch Act.

Of course, there were also many jokes and photoshop jobs in response to the dystopian tweet.

While it's clear Ivanka breached a code of ethics, it's hard to hold faith she'll face consequences, given the laundry list of indicting things the Trump family has done without punishment.

One of the most important lessons you learn in high school besides history and calculus, is how to get away with running a business out of your locker.

Whether the inventory is actually illegal substances, such as weed - and unlicensed alcohol, or you're running a DIY shop full of sodas and snacks, the tenets for entrepreneurship are often developed in school halls, where students sneakily exchange goods in hopes of not being caught.

Since every school had at least one person running a black market scheme, the goods and marketing techniques range from downright brilliant to deeply bizarre.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the black market schemes that went down in their schools, and these are all pretty clever.

1. From lineman77:

Energy drinks in middle school. There were two kids who just happen to have parents who owned liquor stores in the town. One kid started taking stuff from their parent's supply, and selling it out of his backpack. Other kid caught wind of it and figured he should get into the game too. Honestly, the other kid finding out was the best thing for me because the market adjusted just like it should have.

Kid 1 was selling warm monster energy drinks for $5. New kid came in and sold em for $4. Kid one came back with 3.50 and they were like kinda cold lol. Eventually they both got caught and got in trouble but I took advantage while they were around.

2. From snarkasm_0228:

In my ninth grade English class, there was this kid who would bring soda and Poptarts to class and sell them. We weren’t allowed to eat in class, so I had to eat my chocolate fudge Poptarts discreetly. Eventually, the teacher put a stop to it, but it was a good run while it lasted.

3. From Ayy11:

In high school there was this game/fad where people would try to stealth zip tie other people's bags to their desks, shoes together, whatever so they'd be stuck when the bell rang. One guy sold the heavy duty zip ties and another sold mini scissors for easy escape.

4. From THACC-:

There was a kid who gave away sandwiches for free, but the school stopped him because he was “creating a gang culture.”

5. From amberoftheguessa:

There was a kid who sold lemonade out of his car. He made it a real business after high school. I wonder how he’s doing with COVID.

6. From bloodfields:

I literally sold stretched-out, dried baby wipes for two quarters apiece. Baby wipes get super soft when they're dry (or at least that brand did) and my classmates were fascinated. I claimed to have sewn these mini blankets myself. It worked for the entirety of third grade before I got called out and canceled in fourth.

7. From Aqetor:

Wasn’t really a black market but people would offer service for things. Not many people liked giving money so here’s how it would go:

“Dude, can you get me a can of dip and some booze? I will come to your farm (or ranch) to work for it.”

“Sure. Just come and feed the cattle Saturday morning and it’s yours.”

8. From caseoats:

When I was in grade school I started making mini clothes out of fleece and sewing them on my Hello Kitty sewing machine. I charged like a quarter for each outfit but it very quickly became an issue with people trying to steal my supplies and others not being able to purchase the clothes. It got shut down and I had to low key sell the clothes at recess.

9. From Nillabeans:

One guy was literally running a convenience store out of his locker one year.

One dude was selling molly in gum packs.

Some kids stole stuff from the school store and sold them online, I think. It was stuff like graphing calculators, so I think they probably made a pretty penny.

And speaking of graphing calculators, people traded games and programs for them.

There was a rumour that people were selling public speeches too but that's pretty boring.

10. From Lick_my_balloon-knot:

Me and my friend had several "get rich quick" schemes that never paid of. A few that come to mind:

We got the idea of breeding my and his dog to get puppies and sell them. So he brought his dog over and we locked them in my room to get the deed going. After about 30 minutes we got talking and realized both our dogs where castrated, and males...so we dropped that plan.

Second plan was when my older brother got a surround hi-fi stereo in his room (this was 1999 so that was still somewhat uncommon). Me and my buddy charged a fee for people to come and watch movies "cinema style" at my house.

Third: When we found a dildo in the room of my friend's mother we charged a fee for people to come and see his mom's dildo.

11. From punkwalrus:

Trades of stolen goods shoplifted and stored in caches only a few knew about. Like a stash of porno mags and "alternative comix" in an artillery box buried under that kid Gary's sandbox, or the petty cash stored in the knothole of an oak tree on the property of a guy who was rumored to shoot kids who snuck into his back yard via said oak tree. There were some suppliers for expendable things like caps for capguns, illegal fireworks (m80s and the like), candy, cigarettes, and beer. Mostly teens who needed the cash to buy things like pot.

Our local pot supplier was also our local Boy Scout Troop. Rumor has it, they were growing pot under the shady trees of the scout lodge which was always in a state of disrepair. There were also pot fields in a local private property called "Black Pond," which was a summer camp for rich kids during the summer, and boarding school for girls of the super-rich the rest of the year.

12. From farmerserena:

When I was in middle school someone started selling crushed up Smarties that kids would snort.

13. From The_Phantom_W:

Aside from the actual illicit things like drugs and smokes, we had basically a forerunner to Uber eats. Seniors who were allowed to leave during lunch break and had a car would go pick up lunch some place for a fee. This was especially good if you had a free period before lunch as you could run out, grab the food and the customer had hot lunch from wherever at the start of lunch period.

14. From joshg780:

Back in elementary school, more specifically the last couple years, it was all about mechanical pencils. Having a lot of them was a symbol of power and wealth and trades would occur based on how desirable the mechanical pencils were.

However, if you had a really unique mechanical pencil, this was seen as even more powerful than having an abundance of mediocre ones. Theft would occur here and there and this stirred up the tension. Classes were formed and social circles were reflective of this.

15. From Pierowmania:

Gum and Pokemon cards.

16. From xghostiex:

Candy. I swear the only reason kids were nice to me in 9th and 10th grade was because I always had candy in my backpack.

Also, in the psych ward, life savers. If your parents gave a sh*t they'd bring you a bag and you'd get a dixie cup full of them at break and trade flavors with other kids or share with your friends who didn't have any. Different flavors were worth more.

17. From Hawkmek:

I think it was 5th grade and everyone started bringing in these homemade cinnamon toothpicks. Usually in an old prescription bottle. I bet that wouldn't go over well today. Everyone was making them and sucking on them during class. Who had the best, etc. It was a fad that came and went.

Wow, I'm surprised how popular this was! Where/when was all this Big Toothpick activity going on? For me it was late 70s around the Dallas area.

18. From dowhatchafeel:

Those big a*s round Lollipops that come in funky flavors. I used to take a train to school every day and a kid would sell them two for a dollar.

Probably gave him $200 personally over the course of middle school.

I like lollipops.

19. From StroopGoop:

Not mine, but I just found out that my friend’s sister makes their mom order Venti sized drinks at Starbucks with three separate ice cups, distributes the venti drink to the other cups and sells them for $5 a piece. Literally costs her $0 because her mom buys them and gets $15 at least twice a week.

20. From Ineversaid:

My locker.

Condoms, smokes, cider and chewing gum.

21. From SL-Gremory-:

I ran it. It was $1 soda cans out of unused lockers. I moved inventory almost weekly and had multiple kids helping me out in exchange for free soda. Made upwards of $3k over 4 years. Almost got caught once because a new student was given a locked I was using, but I managed to move inventory before a teacher found it. This was a HUGE school, mind you. I had probably 20ish lockers.

22. From Bigby11:

I used to draw hentai for a coupe of bucks.

Also the default punishment for bad behavior and stuff was copying the rules of the school a certain number of times. I wrote a few more copies every time I got punished and sold them to classmates.

23. From poisonedxmind:

We have this girl that's really sweet and cute and always wears pastel colours. She's so unassuming and innocent looking that none of our teachers will ever know she sells pot muffins with edible hello kitty stickers on them.

24. From ThatJoeyFella:

I sold stink bombs, smoke bombs, and when I could get them, porn magazines.

25. From TheTattooedWhore:

I was the hookup for sex toys in high school. Can't buy em under 18 but I knew stores that didn't card. I also sold condoms to kids that didn't have a way to get them without their parents knowing.

Getting an image or a phrase permanently scarred into your skin is a pretty big (and often expensive decision)...

Some people choose their tattoos based on what a lyric, expression, object or memory means to them, while others get tattoos simply because they just want them. Getting a tattoo of a slice of pizza doesn't have to come with a long-winded, sentimental story of how you used to roll out pizza dough with your grandmother (although that's nice). Some people just get a slice of pizza tattooed on them because they just like pizza, full stop!

However, there are some tattoos that really make you wonder what was going on with that person when they chose to get them. Of course, checking for spelling and grammatical errors is key, being sober when you go to the shop, and making sure that if you're going to get a tattoo in a language you can't speak that you really know for sure what your tattoo means. Still, sometimes people are lucky that have a wise tattoo artist to sway them away from making a regrettable permanent choice.

So, when a Reddit user asked, "Tattoo artists of Reddit, What's your worst 'Are you sure you want that' stories?" people were ready to share their strangest tattoo requests.

1.

Guy with terrible star right on his cheek wants a GIGANTIC diamond to cover it up. Would've put gucci to shame. Definite Pass - DanOwaR666

2.

Been a tattoo artist for the last 9 years, and the one that will always stand out is tattooing "WORDS" on a guy's d*ck. He said it was so he could put words in your mouth. - Krunglef*ck8000

3.

I met a guy once that had a date of birth tattooed to the back of his neck, in plain view. He told me it was his brothers date of birth. At that point I expected the story to spin into a very heart felt sob about a deceased family member. No... this chap couldn't decide what ink to get. He took so long that the artist suggested his date of birth, and he agreed. However, he remembered just as he was asked what his date of birth was that he was not the legal age to get a tattoo at the time. So in a panic he gave his brothers date of birth. Well I nearly hit the floor laughing when he told me. - Pseudo_Juice

4.

My favorite was the fellow who came in wanting "those two hands clapping with a necklace."

It was a rosary prayer. He wanted a rosary prayer tattoo. - IronOhki

5.

Some 18 or 19 year old girl came in with her mother looking for a cover up job. She's talking about her tattoo and goes "maybe it's easier if I just show you." Her mom goes "No honey wai-" as the chick just drops trou and presents a tattoo that spans her entire ass saying F*CK BITCHES GET MONEY in two lines, so 2 words in each cheek. - HandzumSuicide

6.

Man came in asking for a picture of his daughter, but when he came in he did not have a picture and he wanted to verbally explain it to me. I wrote her name on his rib cage instead - HolaChicos

7.

The guy essentially wanted a portrait of a 60's era William Shatner "deep in thought." He also wanted a dream bubble coming out of Shatner's head, and inside that dream bubble he wanted the exact same portrait of William Shatner with a mustache.

Essentially William Shatner dreaming about William Shatner with a mustache. The dude wanted this engraved on his flesh. I was in awe of how beautifully stupid it was.

Being that portraiture wasn't my strong point, I gave it to someone else. Last I had heard, the guy actually went through with it. - boolean_sledgehammer

8.

My brother is a tattoo artist and some 19 year old wanted his eyebrows shaved and "f*ck b*tches ----- get money" in place of them. He didn't do it. - Sir_Sleepy

9.

I'm an artist someone wanted to commission to draw a tattoo for them. This was maybe 10 years ago. Dude offered me $100 to draw an obese raccoon in a diaper. I said "okay sure whatever, anything specific you'd like regarding color etc?"

He replied stating that he wanted the diaper to be "very full and leaking". Now mind you, I have drawn worse things for money. When I was a teenager and into my early 20s, these more "questionable" commissions kept a roof over my head. So I wasn't particularly shocked by the idea that this guy had a furry diaper scat fetish, what shocked me was that he wanted it tattooed. That just... seemed like the worst idea imaginable.

I ended up telling him that I wasn't comfortable drawing that and refunded the $100. He replied with a massive wall of text about how close-minded I was.

I'm sure he found someone to draw him the thing but I just couldn't do it. Not for a tattoo. - [deleted]

10.

I was getting a tattoo and a guy comes in to talk to the artist about a tattoo estimate. He wants a thumbs up on his ball sack. Artist said, "700 to touch it and then 150 an hour after that". - PurpleCandleButter

11.

Had a couple. Guy wanted "Numba One" on his left outside forearm and "Stunna" on the other. Lady wanted "Stunna's" on her left arm and "Numba One" on the other.

If you're keeping tally, that's "Numba One Stunna" and "Stunna's Numba One."

In this horrible self-drawn graffiti letter style.

And they were white college kids.

Other artist in the shop that night, deadpan, goes, "What if one of you drops to Numba Two?"

They did not end up getting tattooed that night. - woodshayes

12.

guy came in obviously intoxicated, but I decided to hear him out. He wanted a tattoo on his "gun", wanted Bowser with sunglasses playing a double neck guitar on a surfboard with the phrase in cursive "happy birthday rick" written above, all in front of a big pot leaf and all of that on a cross because he's "like really religious". - HosbnBolt

13.

My tattoo artist literally got a tattoo of a bag of d*cks on her armpit with the words 'bag of d*cks' underneath. It was done by some guy in the shop that was practicing. Kinda gotta admire her careless attitude towards tattoos, we're all going to die someday lol. She also banged Ron Jeremy in Vegas but that's a whole other story... - endlesselsewhere

14.

Recently talked someone out of getting that stupid anchor tattoo with the words "I refuse to sink" around it. THAT'S WHAT ANCHORS DO YOU F*CKING MORONS! I hate that tattoo. - GarrisonFjord

15.

I used to work in the same shop as my primary artist that's done around 40-50 hours on me in my life if he ever had a client get mad and he told me one guy came in that had a sh*tty (I believe purple) unicorn tattooed on his chest he was sick of people making fun of it or something so he wanted my artist to change it and "make it look bad a*s and angry"

He said he did his best but the guy was mad cause it "didn't look mean enough" - suicidebylifestyle

16.

"Purple dinosaur, on my face." - SmallName

17.

my brother ran a tattoo shop and one day this drunk dude came in wanting a tattoo of a strawberry on the tip of his d*ck. - IconicBanana14

18.

Guy wanted a barcode. Artist told him it wouldn't actually work and that it'd be decorative only. Guy says okay. After it's done guy pulls out his cell phone and tries to scan it. It doesn't work. Guy is angry. - 12CansOfDrPepper

19.

The artist who did mine told me about this guy who kept asking him to tattoo a pentagram around his butt hole. Even offered double the normal rate when he said no. My artist said it was an easy one to decline, despite the extra cash. - DopeDaddy

In case you've been napping for eleven days, and for your sake I hope that you have, Kanye West announced on Twitter over 4th of July weekend that he would be running for President of the Unite States. Because it's 2020, and the universe is running out of ways to make us scream "WHYYYYYYYY!!?!?!" into the abyss.

Luckily, we can all relax, and by relax I mean return to panicking about all the 1,000,000 other things wrong with the world right now. Because this morning it was reported that Kanye West has decided to drop his "presidential bid," which many people suspected was just another of Kanye's notorious publicity stunts.

Here are 14 of the funniest reactions on Twitter to the not-entirely-shocking news:

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The last few months have been a crazy couple of years.

Since the coronavirus landed stateside, everyday life has changed, then changed back, and is now beginning to change again.

As the situation evolved, health authorities went from telling people not to wear masks (as to save the Personal Protective Equipment for the people who need it most) to begging the American people to cover their damn noses and mouths.

These images highlight how things have changed over the course of the pandemic so far.

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If you've ever visited a 7/11 or 24-hour corner store after midnight, you may have seen witnessed some pretty unusual and erratic activity from your fellow patrons. So as you can probably imagine, the people who work there have seen a lot of very, very weird sh*t. Late night store clerks don't get nearly enough credit for their bravery.

Someone asked late night store clerks of Reddit: "what is the strangest thing that's happened on the job?" These 23 people who work the late shift share their stories:

1.) From Sara_laughs_tidwell:

I work nights at a gas station in a pretty good neighborhood in New Hampshire, so usually it's pretty boring. One night I did have a customer really creep me out. I was just getting ready to close down the store when a little old man came in. He was small and dressed in khakis and a button down shirt. I made the usual small talk of asking him how his day was going. Then as I was handing him his change he firmly grabbed my wrist, made direct eye contact with me and said "hell is a real place and the devil has already got his hand on you girl, be careful"

2.) From SenatorCucumber:

I worked third shift at a Sheetz. For those of you who don't know it's a gas station/convenience store/fast food place. On multiple occasions I have been cussed out because we discontinued pickle chips. I've had people tell me to f*ck off, break things, demand to call corporate, etc. Drunk people love pickle chips.

3.) From VanillaBear378:

I've never been a store clerk but I was lucky enough to witness the following story....

7-11, circa 1996....

A guy walks up to the surly clerk, who seemed to work 25 hours a day, and asks "do you sell eggs by the 1/2 dozen?"

Clerk: "No, you have to buy a dozen."

Guy: "I only need 6"

Clerk: "I'd don't care. You get 12 or you get zero!"

With out saying another word the guy walks back to get his dozen eggs, pays, and walks out.... Then he throws his 6 unwanted eggs at the store window before driving off.

4.) From winterpike10:

I work at a deli and about a half hour from close a woman comes to the counter and just says "lamb bone?". We had it so I go to the back freezer. Come back to the counter and her daughter is there, she tells me to cancel the order, meanwhile her mom is right beside her repeating "lamb bone?" over and over again. She had dementia and I didn't even notice

5.) From SamboFrog:

11:30pm in Aus here and on break working till 4am in a sort of restaurant/fast food store, last week I saw a woman order 4 burgers but wanted no ingredients other then lettuce, not even any bread, I offered if she would like to just buy the lettuce as a topping and just pay $1.25 for it but she insisted on ordering 4 servings of burger lettuce at full burger price.

6.) From daisymk:

I worked 11pm - 7am shift in an all night garage for a few months when I was 18. There was this weird vietnamese dude who drove a white Honda Prelude, and always filled up with £6.66 of petrol. He wore the same pair of cut offs every time, with blotches and bruises all over his legs, and used to literally wander in, leaning against the displays, pick up as many yoghurts as he could carry, pay with a £50 note and stagger out.

One time he came in with these two (obviously prostitute) women who were draped all over him with the biggest pupils I have ever seen. They stood at the counter while I scanned all their yoghurts, and he spoke for the first and only time. Staring at me, said to the women "she can join us, can't she" One of the women looked at me and said "you'll make a lot more money if you come with us, darlin". I nervously laughed, took their cash and they left, grinning, in silence.

7.) From [deleted]:

The place I worked had a monitor/camera that showed you on it as you walked it. It was like ten minutes before closing and a guy walks in and just starts rapping into the camera and acting like he's shooting a music video. He went through an entire song.

8.) From Natural_selection_:

A man came in ten times within a single hour. He kept leaving and coming back without buying a single thing. Finally, on the tenth time he comes up to the counter with a box of tampons. I proceeded to ask him, "rough night?", to which he responded "I really don't want to talk about it"

9.) From Forgot_My_Old_Userna:

Had a guy pull up to the pump, unhooked it wanting post-pay. Our policy said not to authorize it between midnight and 5am (pre-pay only). I announce this to the dude over the loudspeaker. I'm pretty sure he was wasted; he continued to get more and more beligerent. When he started beating the pumps with the nozzle/hose, I called the cops. Dude starts banging on the door (locked, no way he would get in), can't, gets frustrated, and finally just whips his deal out and starts wagging it in the general direction of the store. The CCTV is getting all this, so I just start laughing my ass off. Then the cops pull up, and two deputies put this poor, drunk, deal-wagging man away in the back of a police car.

I quit a few months after that.

10.) From lightmanmac:

Aside from the shit covered walls and vomit that you'd expect from a typical gas station, I could say this was the most peculiar.

I had a man come in and buy a novelty lighter and some lighter fluid. No biggy.

Sometime the next week, police came in and asked for our camera footage the night I sold the lighter and stuff. The guy apparently used that lighter and fluid to kill his 3 month old baby.

F*ck people man.

11.) From SherLockedOut:

I watched a truck pull up to one of our pumps, guy gets out to pump gas, a Durango comes hauling ass from the back of the building, another guy gets out with a gun aimed at the first guy. I was on the phone with a friend of mine and said, "Someone just pulled a gun at the pump, I'm going to have to let you go." I called the cops. Turned out the guy pumping gas had robbed a store 3 towns over and the durango was an undercover cop who had been in pursuit.

Another time, a guy came in, walked to the back cooler got a can of Sprite and came to the register to check out. As I'm ringing him up, one of our local cops walks in, gun drawn, says, "Put your hands on the counter, put your hands on the counter, NOW!" Well, I put my hands on the counter along with the customer because all I'm thinking is, "I have no idea what I've done, but I'm very sorry for it." Turned out that guy had been involved with a robbery of a convenience store in the next town (5min away) had fled in a mustang with 2 other individuals. They wrecked the car trying to evade the cops, all three dispersed two were apprehended pretty quickly but the third came into the store to either blend in or rob me, I honestly don't know which. After the festivities and them hauling the guy away, the cop told me he had almost lost it when I put my hands on the counter too, and that I should really rethink working closing shifts at my age. I was 19 at the time and I am female. I laughed and was like, "And give up free entertainment?????!!!!!!"

12.) From symder:

Regular male customer living across the street came over with flip flops and a towel around his waist, dripping wet. Grabbed a bar of soap, tossed $5 on the counter, and walked back out.

13.) From StalinsLoveChild:

Brother worked at a servo (Gas station) at night. Guy tried to rob the place with a brick

14.) From qwerty12qwerty:

Beat up kid comes to us at 3am. Blood everywhere. Doesn't want us to call an ambulance. Our policy says if they don't want us to, we can't. So he was just chilling there, bleeding. When we said we were going to call the cops to help, he bolted. My bet was he had a warrant out for his arrest so that's why he didn't want any medical/police attention.

15.) From POCKALEELEE:

A guy came in to buy beer after hours. Told him I couldn't sell, it was against the law. He pulled out a badge, said "I am the law". I called 911 and a cop shows up, tells me if I can just let it go, I wouldn't have any more problems. I let it go. Two weeks later, driving home late at night, WAY over the speed limit I got pulled over. It was cop #2, he came up to the car, recognized me, said "Slow down" and left.

16.) From kane55:

I worked at a small convenience store in the early 1990's. They had one of those fry delis that had chicken, jojos, corndogs, burritos etc. This particular night I had run out of burritos and chicken. I also shut the thing down and cleaned it all out about an hour before closing.

About 5 minutes before I was closing up a guy walked in and asked for some burritos. I told him I was out of them, and that I was just about to close and the fryer was shut down. He walked around the store for a minute (I assumed he was looking for something else to buy) and then he came up to the counter, pulled out a knife and told me if I didn't cook him some burritos he was going to stab me.

I freaked out, but told him I had none to cook. I showed him the freezer and told him I would happily cook anything he wanted from it, but he will see I was out of burritos. He looked in it for a minute, turned to me and said, "You really are out." I replied, "Yeah." He then put the knife away and left the store.

17.) From tensaibaka:

Back from my days working graveyard shift at a grocery store, lets see what I can remember:

• Had a former employee come in drunk one night and call the cops on himself for shoplifting because he wanted somewhere to sleep that night.

• Had an employee come in on a night off all pissed off, proceeds to walk straight to the back room without a word. About 10 minutes later there was a successive loud POP POP POP POP. Turns out he climbed up to the roof to fire off his gun. A customer came up and told me he heard something fall down in the back room.

• Tons of stoners buying ice cream at 2AM.

• Meth heads buying brillo pads and ammonia after 3AM (bars closed at 2AM, so all the cops were usually gone from the area by around 3)

• Saw a drunk guy fall asleep while his car idled along in the parking lot. Luckily he hit a curb and no damage was done but the cops got a good laugh out of that one.

• A tall drunk Russian guy tries to buy beer after the 2AM legal cutoff time, then proceed to pick on a sober customer half his size. The little guy took one swing and broke the Russian dude's nose.

• Had a guy come in when another employee was taking a dump. Guy really had to take a shit so he turned around and took a dump in the urinal, asking the employee on the toilet for toilet paper.

18.) From Aquaman-:

I worked at a 24/7 gas station in a small college town. One night, the club across the street had a fight break out and about 50 people were pepper sprayed by the police when they responded at about 1:30am.

Five minutes later cue 50 angry club goers busting into the store, running to the dairy cooler, dousing themselves in milk and then running back out.

I just stood there in utter confusion and then told my boss I didn't want the late shift anymore.

19.) From [deleted]:

Huge guy comes in and asks to use the restroom. No big deal, I'm not one to stand in the way of nature. Well maybe 20 minutes later, guy comes our in huff and says,

"dude, I'm really sorry, I f*cked up your toilet..."

"It's all good man, I'll get it..."

Not really needing spectators while I cleaned shit, I expect the guy to shrug his shoulders and walk off, well he looks back into the back where the restroom is with a look of disgusting concern and says,

"Man it's really coming out, like it's coming out into the backroom..."

I rush back, thinking I've got to at least stop this from becoming some kind of biohazard event. I round the corner and there's nothing, but I can smell an unholy, overwhelming stench. I continue back, expecting to ruin my shoes at any moment until I reach the mens room, at this point I've had to cover my face with my shirt and focus on breathing through my mouth, but I reach the door with no issue. Frustrated from the mind-numbing oder odor alone I push the mens room door open, ready for at least an inch of gas station dooks all over the floor, as the door swings forward I see nothing but the water filling my eyes and the black/brown human paint the fat bastard left against the back of the bowl...

Pissed to the point of rushing out, fully intending of asking this rotten asshole what the deal was, I round the corner again to see his big shit-eating grin spread across his face...

"Stinks huh?"

20.) From VTMan72:

I was just talking to a friend about stuff like this maybe a week ago. For reference, he works 10PM-6AM at a gas station in a really rough neighborhood. Here are some of the things he has told me about.

A woman came into the store at 3AM screaming about her boyfriend being an asshole and refused to leave.

Heroin sales literally every night.

They found foot prints on the toilet seat and a bag of meth in the ceiling tiles.

A man came in to use the bathroom at midnight. He was still in there half an hour later and so my friend knocked. He didn't respond. Paramedics were called when he was found to be near death from a heroin overdose.

Cops come in on a regular basis looking for people.

Drunk people making threats of violence if they don't get more beer.

He probably told me more things but I can't remember all of them right now. He makes minimum wage doing this. You couldn't make me do that job even at gunpoint (which would probably happen in that town.)

21.) From writetheotherway:

I worked at Dunkin Donuts. Every Tuesday night at about 8:45 a guy would come in. A guy in Daisy Dukes and a sequined bikini top. He was balding, had a beer gut and chest hair.

He would strut his stuff to the counter and order two sprinkle donuts.

Every. Tuesday.

22.) From sboschee:

In high school I worked at a 24 pharmacy which also had a small selection of beer. At about 2am this guy walks in 3 sheets to the wind...saunters over to the beer and grabs 2 12 packs. He comes up to the counter and slams the beer down. Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a half eaten taco and puts it on the counter...I couldn't say anything because I was so perplexed...I just let him walk out with the beer and told my bosses I thought he might have a gun also...was the strangest thing I've ever seen. A couple weeks later he apperantly tried this at the family owned gas station across the street and got shot.

23.) ​​​​​​​Fro Vurve:

I worked through my college years at a grocery store in a college town. I worked in the deli/bakery and day-time cashier. One night, I was asked to work the late shift for time and a half. I didn't have class the next day, so hell yeah. It was a night I will never forget.

• As I was transitioning from day to late night shift around 9pm, a kid came in and started just eating olives off the deli bar with this bare hands. Cops get called. He is found 5 minutes later assaulting the soda machine outside, screaming and crying at the same time. Then arrested while high on what was probably PCP or meth.

• A plethora of drunk sorority and frat bastards pouring in between midnight and 3am trying to buy alcohol when they were already shitfaced. The town had a bus system than ran all over the place for free, and we were a very central stop.

• Had to call a 'Code: Wood', to summon our late night stocker who was indeed built like a tree trunk. Some punks wanted to steal some Phillies and demanded to "just hold on to them" while they shopped. Then got confrontational when I wouldn't give the Phillies to them before paying. For clarification since I'm a terrible writer:Wood was a night stockman who probably went to body building competitions on the weekends. Hence, I was calling him to the front to help me deal with the hooligans until the police could show up.

• After the cop showed up with her K-9 from said confrontation, she decided to hang out and talk to me for a while. She showed me a bunch of fake ID's she'd collected