While the usual story of a memorable sexual encounter involves a classic, romantic date of some kind, we all have at least one friend who has a plethora of spontaneous stories with intriguing strangers to spice up the happy hour conversation...

Hollywood likes to present romance as a candlelit dinner, an artistic movie, passionate kissing in the rain, or heart-to-heart conversations in bed. However, most of us have shared a rather intimate moment with a romantic partner in a less-than-ideal setting. Shout out to anyone who has ever attempted the sandy nightmare of a beach hookup. Of course, not every sexual experience has to spark fireworks and a long-term connection, sometimes two people simply meet, connect, and never see each other again. Hence, the infamous one-night stand.

So, when a Reddit user asked, "What's the weirdest encounter you've had that ultimately led to sex?" people were ready to share the not-so-romantic moments they've had with a stranger that led to an intense (albeit brief) physical connection.

1.

I hopped on the train to head back home after visiting a friends house. It was a Saturday night, and the car was PACKED. The noise was deafening, and there was no room to move more than a couple of inches. I saw a cute guy standing five rows down from me. We locked eyes. There was no way I'd be able to move over toward him or speak to him through the crowd, so I pulled a post-it note out of my purse, wrote " hello" and showed it to him. He wrote back "Wanna hang out?" on his notebook. I wrote back "yes." I wrote my number down and handed it to him as he left the train at his stop. Later that night, we met up and humped like rabbits. We never saw each other again. It was my first and only one night stand. - genderconfusedturtle

2.

I opened a beer can, turned the tag around 180 degrees, flicked it away and it landed squared down in the cleavage of a hot girl sitting a few meters away. Got talking. Had sex. - AlwaysAppropriate

3.

Brought a bucket of legos to a house party (who doesn't love to play drunk legos?). So I'm laying on the floor sh*tfaced building a boat, and this stacked girl comes sits next to me, and starts building a spaceship.

We now live together.- [deleted]

4.

I was six years old, stealing sampling candy out of a bin at the Sunnymount Produce market in Sunnyvale, CA. 10 feet away, I notice a cute blonde girl about my age watching me, and I shot her a smile. Her mother came flying around the corner and very loudly scolded me so that the whole store could hear. Fortunately my oft-absentee father was too busy checking out artichokes to notice. Flash forward 10 years, and this girl and I go to the same high school and have become friends. During one of our marathon conversations, we stumbled onto the candy bin story somehow and connected the dots, realizing we met so long ago! She said she remembered thinking I was kinda cute. As soon as I got my driver's license we were off to my Mom's house every day for lunch (we coordinated our free class periods before and after and had epic 3 hour lunches), and fucked like rabbits. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is next month. - e39dinan

5.

Walking around Montreal trying to find nutmeg. I didn't speak french well--she didn't speak english well. We spent an hour or so walking around the city trying to find fresh nutmeg. Eventually we gave up and went for coffee.

Over coffee we made the sexy-eyes and tried to figure out that the other was saying. She invited me back to her place. I ultimately made it back to my friends apartment six hours later, still with no nutmeg. - iamsnicker

6.

When I was about 25-26 I was at the local bar I hung out at. There was an unfamiliar group of girls to which I chatted to for about 5 mins top, earlier in the evening. I noticed all but one of the girls left and the one that stayed came up to the bar where I was. Bartender calls last call, and, being quite buzzed, I turn to her and say, kindofjokinglybutnot, "How 'bout you and I head back to my place for some sex?". Everyone at the bar heard it and kind of chuckled. Until she says, "Sure, I 've never done this before but let's go". You could have heard a pin drop. Next time I went there I got a standing ovation from the regulars that were there, everyone that wasn't asked what was going on, so the word spread which led to another strange girl approach me with a score. I actually rode that wave about 3 more times. Shameless. - pookinponub

7.

I used to be an EMT--I only worked as one for a year--but in that time, a girl from my college fell down some stairs and got a concussion. She was so pleased with me taking her to the hospital, that she got my number... Then, sex! - maomao200

8.

I spent a night at hotel with a girl. Woke up hung over a little so I went to 7-11 to buy some stuff. Met a girl in line at 7-11 and took her to a different hotel a block down from the original hotel. I high fived myself. - yousername

9.

I was at a house party with this guy I had been seeing. At least I thought we had been seeing each other. Turns out he has a girlfriend and she shows up to this same party. She finds out about me, she wants to fight me, I apologize over and over to her (even though her d-bag boyfriend told me he was single). She's crying, I'm crying and apologizing. I go into the other room to get away from the situation where this guy comes up to me and starts trying to calm me down. I had talked to him previously in the evening but couldn't remember for the life of me what his name was. He and I end up leaving and going back to his place. Sexytime ensues, afterward I try and duck out without him waking up. He wakes up and asks if I want breakfast. We dated for two months. - probablynotbutstill

10.

went to a tarot reader on a lark, ended up in bed with her. - quasiperiodic

11.

A friend of mine bought a desk from IKEA, and figured that since I knew Swedish, I'd be an asset in helping build said desk. So, after work one Saturday, I bus it over to his house. He has the base built, but is struggling with the keyboard tray. I took over and screwed it in... Only to later realize that it's upside down. We were both frustrated and decided that smoking a bowl would be a great way to calm ourselves down before proceeding.

After smoking, we return to the desk. I picked up the instructions and asked him if he remembered what step we were on. He responded with, "I want to know what step you're on.".

At that point, it was pretty obvious what "step" he was on. We ended up having sex and completed the desk while wearing only underwear. - [deleted]

12.

Once when I was in college, I was asked to give a group of new international students a bit of a tour and introduction to life at that school. After the presentation one of them kept asking me questions, making conversation. Then we went to the campus grill, had a soda, kept talking. Finally, we went to my room, kept talking. Then we had sex. It was actually quite a surprise to me. - shostyscholar

13.

I was with a group of people who had decided to go skinny dipping in an apartment complex pool. After I am walking through this apartment and this girl wearing nothing but a jacket sats "Oh my God! What kind of cologne is that"? I say Mens Very Sexy from Victoria Secret. She replies "You have no idea what that does to me" and proceeds to drag me into the restroom and we go at it like crazed rabbits.... Never buying another kind of cologne. - Shizblamo

14.

Broke up with a long term live in girlfriend. Ugly breakup, she was cheating and lying. I moved out, told her off, had zero contact.

Two years later, I'm driving home by myself from a cookout/drinkfest at a buddies house. I'm on the freeway, on the far side of town. A car honks at me. It's the ex.

She waves for me to follow her, I do, we pull off the freeway and talk for a bit. - [deleted]

15.

Met the son of a family friend at my grandfather's death bed, then had a very intense month-long fling with him. Really awesome sex, but he turned out to be completely insane. - sex_is_fun

16.

Last weekend I was driving along a double 2 lane street (2lanes in each direction) past a park near sunset. I am driving in the far left (middle of the road) and a dog comes bolting full blast from the park from the right and runs full on into the street so fast I had barely enough time to swerve left (causing me to swerve into what would be oncoming traffic). Luckily no cars in either direction but I unfortunately still hit the dog.

The dog wasn't looking good. Owner came running out who just happened to be extremely good looking. She was obviously crying. She knew her dog ran into the street and basically HIT ME and wasn't upset directly at me but still she was crying. Someone from park knew name of a 24 emergency room for pets and I googled it on phone and offered to drive her and the dog.

It was only a few miles down. I went in with them. I gave her my name number and my apologies. I also left my name and number and told the vet tech that I would pay for any diagnostics, blood, x-rays, treatments for the dog because basically I felt like total shit in this situation.

Few days later she calls me and tells me they had to put her dog down. I gave my sincerest apologies and she declined for me to pay any of the bills. She says she didn't know why her dog bolted into the middle of the street and didn't blame me. We somehow just kept on talking and talking. She accepted my offer to grab a drink a couple days later. One thing led to another and well, surprise sex. So there you have it. - redditluv

17.

I was talking to my friend at a bar after work. One of the waitresses was overhearing our conversation and she came up and told me what my zodiac sign was correctly.

She hit on me pretty hard and then I went home and we hooked up. - [deleted]

People spend hundreds of hours of their lives stuck in traffic, but it's not always mind-numbingly boring. People shared the wildest things they've ever encountered while stuck on the highway, and from family porn viewings to lesbian cows, there are some fascinating sights out there. If you keep your eyes on the road, you could meet the love of your life or meet Ronald McDonald himself....another reason not to text and drive.

1.

Driving with my dad into Guadalajara on a super busy highway. We both notice something white floating around underneath the truck in front of us, like a plastic bag or something. It was mesmerizing for a few seconds, like wow look at that bag float! It goes flying out the side of the truck, and we realize it was a fucking cat. A little white cat running across the highway got caught in the airflow underneath this truck and had the ride of its life. Oh, Mexico.-roogoogle

2.

I once saw a guy in a Pikachu onesie riding a motorbike at 3am. When the light went green, he raced the guy in the lane next to him. It was pretty cool. -Vinnie_Vegas

3.

My fiancée told me that she was sitting in traffic yesterday and kept hearing someone honking their horn, she finally looks over and the guy two lanes over is holding up a sign directed towards her that says "You're Hot", she said it was laminated and everything. -Pappy_Smith

4.

I once saw a man chasing an ostrich down the side I-40 west of Little Rock. Not something you see every day. -gjhobso

5.

Saw a dude get out of his truck. Pull out his fishing gear and pretended to fish for cars on his tailgate. When he finally got the line stuck on a guys windshield he called for his buddy to come out and help reel it in. they ran up to the car with a net and put it on a windshield than proceeded to take a picture with the car.... When I got closer I noticed the dudes "lure" was a small red gas can. As our lane passed his, he just looked and gave me a tip of his hat as he continued to try to catch the Hummer another lane over. -XIGRIMxREAPERIX

6.

Tire came off a car on the highway. Another truck hit the tire in just the right (wrong?) way and it acted like a ramp and the truck came off the ground. When they landed they lost control and hit the concrete barrier. I didn't stop so unsure what happened after that. -fatherjimbo

7.

I watched a motorcyclist have a violent sneezing attack in his helmet while at a traffic light. -Strummed_Out

8.

One day I was driving down 64 E between Richmond and Norfolk, VA on a Sunday. I had specifically chosen a time to avoid most traffic when all of a sudden I hit some crawwwwling traffic. I get pissed, I hate traffic.

I'm stewing in my car, getting angrier and angrier when I start seeing this thing moving down the side of the road up ahead. As this thing gets closer and closer I see that its a wild pig just trotting along the side of the road, and close behind is a police SUV going in the reverse with a couple of cops hanging out the back trying to catch this pig. Never have I gone from so angry to so happy in my life. -raym0ndv2

9.

I was driving to Santa Fe, there was a deer hanging out on half of a couch. About a mile further up, the other half of the couch, different deer laying on it.

Driving to Colorado from NM, a semi was going 80 mph or so and didn't slow down to hit a deer. I have never seen so much blood on a road.

Driving in Colorado Springs, saw a man on a small motorcycle, he was very large (wide and tall), he had a pipe hanging out of his mouth and a bucket of KFC in the other. Not a damn clue how he was driving.

Lastly was on the way to Santa Fe, I saw the car in front of me stick their arm out of their car and drop something. That something was a tiny orange kitten. I pulled over to see where the cat was. He was OK and another woman pulled over too. She was on her way to adopt a cat and called it fate. The poor kitty was fine but mad as hell. He was maybe 4 weeks. This was happening all around 60 mph... -nomad_leahrose

10.

I saw a herd of swans attacking this guys beautiful Jaguar. Whatever he did they wouldn't let up. -jesusonatrike

11.

One time I saw the turducken of transportation. There was a bike secured in a golf cart in the bed of a pickup truck towing a camper. When the driver saw me taking a picture (I wasn't driving) he gave me a thumbs up and it made me happy. I'll look for the picture when I get home... -Enscraw

12.

I saw a woman and her car was almost full of newspapers and a baby in the middle. -Dr_Doorknob

13.

My friends and I were driving back from Wisconsin to Michigan and around Chicago we saw a Tesla. None of us had ever seen one before and got really excited. We pulled up next to it and sure enough the guy in the driver's seat had both hands on his phone not looking at the road at all. We followed it for a few miles marveling at a car driving itself. Then we saw signs for a lane closure coming up and wondered if the Tesla would know to merge. Nope, it didn't. It smacked into a few traffic cones before the driver was able to get it back to safety. I guess the technology isn't there yet. -OldTR

14.

I saw a Ronald McDonald PT Cruiser with Ronald McDonald himself in the passenger seat just-a texting away. It was glorious. -B_U_F_U

15.

Followed a van (coincidentally, not purposely) down I-20 West for over a hundred miles and they had some hardcore porn playing very visibly in the 2 back-of-headrest TVs. That was pretty weird. It was a family vacation. -C00kies_and_milf

16.

There was an armchair in the middle of the highway one time. -myhotneuron

17.

I was on my third stop at a red light waiting to make a left turn and this dude going straight pulls up next to me. After he stops I see him pull out a 2 foot bong and take a massive rip. I've caught people smoking weed while driving or in parking lots but I've never seen another person bring the accoutrements with them to have a full on bong rip. -Mercurial_Illusion

18.

I was sitting at a red light in NJ during rush hour. One guy honked his horn for no good reason. Then suddenly, all around us, everyone honked their horns, almost sarcastically. For about 10 seconds, about 50 cars sitting in traffic were honking for the sake of honking. Then the light changed and we continued on. -my_Favorite_post

19.

I once saw 2 cows having sex. Not a bull and a cow... 2 cows. -thxxx1337

20.

I was driving from Dallas to New Orleans. Made a stop in Lafayette because I wanted to try out a specific restaurant. Stopped at a red light; middle of the day... some chick is blowing a dude in the car next to me in the back seat. -leijae

21.

One time in a traffic jam I saw a guy in a full tuxedo playing a French horn while driving with his feet. -Frotodile

The most devastating insults are often surprising, creative, and skewer our self-esteem in ways we couldn't predict.

Having someone call you "stupid" or "annoying" or "ugly" with no flourish is much easier to brush off, but having someone whip out their Masters in Creative Writing just to roast you is a vastly different experience. And as with all dynamics of dishing and taking, it's far more fun when you're the one doling out the insult.

People jumped on a popular Reddit thread to share the most creative insults they've heard or given, and it proves that the sky is the limit when it comes to hurting people's feelings.

1. From CheeseSamosas:

"You've gotta stop using your head as just a container for your teeth."

2. From Jingothejumper:

"You look like the kind of person who could fail a DNA test."

3. From DeliaKing:

I held the door open for an old Black woman at work one day (I am pasty white) and she looked at me dead in the eye and said "F*ck you mayonnaise monkey" and went through the door like I was not there.

I had no f*cking idea if that was an insult or how I should take it, so I had to go find a black co-worker to get a ruling...he died laughing and started calling his friends on speakerphone.

I am haunted to this day.

4. From benmac42069:

"I bet when people ask your parents about you they change the subject."

5. From Khal_Andy90:

"You're right at the top of the Bell Curve aren't you..."

Brilliant because it sounds like a compliment.

6. From Delica:

“If you ate trash, it would be cannibalism.”

I was mad about a tweet.

7. From feinsteins_driver:

I’ve been called worse things by better people.

8. From feedthehogs:

I was at a baseball game. Dude in the crowd yells to the batter:

"I've seen better swings on a porch!"

9. From F10HC8:

You're the human version of internet explorer.

10. From bullettoothjohnny:

"His daddy must've jacked off into a flower pot cuz he's a blooming idiot"

• Guy at loading dock, Today, 2020

11. From entomofile:

"I do desire us to be better strangers." - Shakespeare

Honestly any line by Billy Shakes is good. Much Ado about Nothing is filled with barbs.

12. From SeniorShitizen:

I'm only 5'4" tall. When I was a Sophomore in high school I approached this girl I liked and asked her out and she responded with "I wouldn't be caught dead with someone tall enough to be the guy who stands on top of a trophy."

13. From BorisTheHangman:

That boy couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on the heel.

14. From AnotherJasonOnReddit:

A quote from Firefly:

"I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."

15. From frorefjord:

"Your nose is so large you could smoke a cigarette in the shower"

My brother.

16. From vegancunts:

"You have room temperature IQ"

I can't remember where it is from, but I say it all of the time.

17. From Uv2015:

You’re more useless than Anne Frank’s drum kit.

18. From Dakujem:

I've always found the insult "You're not being the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be" tends to calm people down and make people reflective.

19. From 2rivial:

My cousin came up with this one, it’s “I know life is in first person, but you’re definitely a background character.”

20. From Swimminginsarcasm:

Gordon Ramsay "youre so full of sh*t you'd make a great politician."

21. From Dominusatrox:

If you were any dumber you would have to be watered twice a week.

22. From Quizzicalnonsense:

"Why hasn’t natural selection bred you out yet?"

23. From RedButterfree1:

Mom to a car that pulled out without indicating: "YOUR DAD SHOULD'VE PULLED OUT FIRST!"

24. From Thirty_Helens_Agree:

David Letterman: “I’m not as dumb as I look.”

Tina Fey: “Yeah, how could you be?”

25. From c_otter17:

I was at a baseball game and an ambulance drove by with full lights and sirens. A fan of one of the teams yelled to the opposing pitcher, "You hear that ambulance? It's coming for you, because you're CHOKIIIIING!"

Sugar-free gummy bears might seem like a great idea in theory. But, like so many things being sold to us in a capitalist society, there is a catch. Anyone who's ever tried (or worse, binged) on sugar-free candy knows exactly what that catch is.

If you're not sure, just check out the reviews on an Amazon listing for a 1-lb. bag of Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears. While some people are clearly roasting the product, and others seem to be sharing their (very, very) real experiences, these reviews get 5-stars for hilarity—and extreme honesty.

Here are 17 of the funniest Amazon reviews for a product you might want to think twice about buying. Unless you're looking for a great excuse to not leave your bathroom for a few days.

1.)

2.) From Nicole L Boley:

1.0 out of 5 stars Diarrhea while driving

Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2019

One of our beloved physicians brought a bag of gummy bears to work to share with the staff one night shift. Not realizing they were the famous dreaded sugar free gummies multiple staff throughout the shift grabbed a handful of gummies while passing by and each have their own near miss stories but this is mine...

The next morning I have to run an errand about and hour and a half from my house. On the drive home down a curvy back country road my stomach suddenly begins to cramp and I feel the immediate urge to empty my bowels. Frantic, as I realize Im not going to make it home I start searching for a place to pull over. The end of a gated logging road perhaps? Im speeding along, arching my back, practicing lamas breathing techniques, anything to stall the inevitable. I pass the first turnoff that has a sheriffs car parked at the end and keep searching with sweat pouring down my forehead and bubbling noises in my guts that drown out the heavy metal on the stereo. Finally! I spot the end of a brushy trail and whip my truck sideways, thrusting the drivers side door open and leaping from the seat to scurry around to the other side. I turn around with fingers in waste band about to drop trow and look up to my horror realizing it is indeed the end of a driveway and the folks outside are staring down toward me probably wondering what this crazed individual is about to do. For several moments I seriously considered just completing the task and running away but couldnt imagine my parents seeing the cell phone video of myself on social media later in the day. I scurried back around the truck and halfway there my ability to hold back the hot lava flow of liquid stool from making a hastey exit out of my spasming rectum was lost and I crapped my pants right there on the side of the road standing next to my truck. My bowels cramped up and expelled every drop of liquid from my body. At that point Im now standing there with leggings full of hot liquid stool running into my shoes and debating on what the next best course of action should be. Of course I have no extra clothes or any towels in my truck. What do I do? Do I call someone? Do I drive home the remaining 20 minutes? After a few moments of self reflection I decided to strip off my shirts and lay them on the seat of my truck and get inside. It was a rather uncomfortable drive home with the windows all down and skin burning on the backs of my legs and buttocks. It was one of the longest 20 minute periods of time Ive ever experienced in my entire life. I alternated between crying and laughing at the situation and checking the speedometer like a paranoid drunk thinking I cant possibly get pulled over right now because what would I say? Yes officer, I crapped my pants. Thats what that smell is. Tears streaming down my face. I finally arrive home, screeching to a hault in the driveway in front of the open automatic garage door I triggered as I was drifting the curve onto my road. Holding the bottoms of my pant legs closed tight I awkwardly stagger into my house and immediatly into the shower fully clothed.

Fast forward 3 weeks and Im at work hearing about the other incidents and the light bulb clicks on......

35 years old and I had to reset the clock for the "how long since you've last crapped your pants" countdown....

Thanks Dr Hanson

Lesson learned.......make sure the gummy bears are not the sugar free version

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17.) From Jimmy Beans J:

5.0 out of 5 stars A delicious treat that should be enjoyed only after the following preparations have been made

Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2015

A delicious treat that should be enjoyed only after the following preparations have been made,
1- make sure it's Friday and cancel all weekend plans, for good measure go ahead and call in for Monday
2- call the city and make sure your water bill is paid in full
3 visit your local hardware store and purchase a sink attachment for your garden hose as toilet paper will quickly become too painful to bear
4 give advanced notice to family members, roommates and neighbors unless you're keen on trying to give birth to a crushed watermelon while convincing your local swat team that both the screaming and demonic noises are from you and a dynamic entry would only bring about more needless suffering
5- redo your restroom in motivational pictures, ones with slogans like courage is fear hanging on one minute longer, the only easy day was yesterday etc, I also advise posting up the suicide prevention hotline number or having a dedicated friend or other support group to walk you through the low times.

Lastly I must strongly urge you to consider why you are thinking of buying this product, is it a sense of deep self loathing? A reckless sense of adventure? Are you researching dysentery? perhaps you are the drill sergeant of some extreme commando unit seeking to break down the enemies will to fight by airdropping these into their midst. If you are just curious then let me say oh fellow human, beware for this life is dangerous enough, next time I want a thrill I'll skydive without a parachute, that way at least I'll have a chance.

Our bodies are useful, necessary vessels without which we'd have a pretty difficult time navigating life. But our bodies aren't always our friends, and they can choose to betray as at the absolute worst, most embarrassing times possible.

Someone who goes by CoDFaNboy7 on Reddit shared their honestly-very-adorable story of how they "got kissed by a girl for the first time and passed out":

I asked out a girl yesterday and she responded by kissing me and saying yes. It was in her bedroom. Right after she kissed me I passed out on her bed and woke up about half hour later with her mom and dad looking worried at me. I felt really awkward and embarrassed. Share your story fellow redditors!

He's not alone!

These 19 people responded with stories of the times their bodies betrayed them in embarrassing ways:

1.) From rollingintheshallow:

Freshman year of college, didn't have my sleep schedule down quite right so I ended up doing a lot of dozing off in classes. So this one day in chemistry lecture I fell asleep in class only to be awoken by the sound of my own assquake of a fart. In a room full of 150+ freshman/sophomore college students. My friend next to me was dying trying to hold in his laughter, and you could just tell everyone in the room heard it but was doing an amazing job suppressing their laughter. Luckily the professor didn't hear it at all and just kept on teaching.

2.) From HFXmer:

When I was applying for the teaching program at my university I walked in the door for a interview, tripped, did a face plant, and looking up from the floor said,"I'd like to be a teacher please". Needless to say the interviewing profs never forgot me.

3.) From babyhugbears:

I was about seven months pregnant at the time. I went into work on my day off to get my check and get it cashed at the bank at the front. I was next in line when I started feeling really hot and dizzy. There was a guy behind me that I turned to, and I guess I said something to him that was basically jibberish (I don't remember this part) and then face planted into him, knocking him down with me. I had passed out.

It took me a while to come back to my senses, and by that time the paramedics were there, saying they had to take me to the ER. All my coworkers watched me being rolled out, and after finding out I was okay, made fun of me for trying to molest a man by using him as a bed. I still wish I could apologize to him, but I have no idea who he was, nor could I really point him out in a crowd.

4.) From Kijafa:

I was at the gym, and had eaten about 30 minutes before. I thought that would be enough time to digest. I was about a mile and a half into my 2 miles on the treadmill, when I started to feel a little nauseous. But I was close to finishing, so I didn't want to slow down. About a quarter mile later I realized I was going to vomit, no matter of I stopped or not. So I stepped off the treadmill and tripped, falling straight on my stomach. Of course this made vomit my half digested tuna sandwich all over the floor. I just laid there and groaned while everyone stared. Not my finest moment.

5.) From JungleSumTimes:

I am the guy who always passes out during the health class movies, gross stuff, people telling surgery stories, etc. So when my wife got pregnant we signed up for Lamaze classes for whatever reason people do that. I was pretty good until one day they decided it would be a good idea to give a slide show on caesarean sections. Needless to say, the one of them yanking the baby head through the gaping wound was enough to put me down. But for me the act of passing out involves alot of fanfare such as spasmodic motions, farting, snorting and gasping sounds, profuse sweating, and on this occasion the full release of my bladder. So it was great to have 30 strange people huddled over me yelling "call 911" and "are you ok?" and "he pissed his pants!" when I came to. I was mortified and just walked off. Plot twist: My daughter was actually delivered caesarean and I was there during the whole thing.

6.) From mlouwid88:

passed out on the gynecologists bed, in all stirroping glory. I was out for about 10 minutes. Woke up in the same position spread eagled with two extremely concerned nurses at my head holding me, preventing me from falling off the bed. Needless to say that is the most awkward way I have ever woken up.

7.) From pudgypenguin:

we were playing a game in 8th grade, and the ball came hurling towards my head, so i had to duck. when i ducked, i farted really loud. the class started cracking up...

8.) From [deleted]:

My girlfriend asked me to, officially, be her boyfriend and I got a raging hardon. Boy was I unprepared for that. I then awkwardly tried to cover it up but there wasn't much I could do. I have no idea if she noticed. I could see this happening if I were 15, but I am 23...

9.) From NominallySafeForWork:

I have OCD. For a while, I had to step on certain cracks on the sidewalk several times. Because this was really time consuming, I would usually try to do it really quickly. Like running, only that I would stay in one place while moving my feet up and down to hit the cracks.

Well. One day I did this whle a group of girls were walking behind me. When I stopped, they stopped, too and waited while I ran on the cracks. Then they applauded.

It was the lowest point of my life.

But it actually helped with that particular obsession. My aversion to being ridiculed turned out to be stronger than my desire to pursue the obsession of stepping on cracks.

Now if only I could be shamed into giving up my other obsessions.

10.) From B_Revell:

First time meeting my girlfriends parents, her father asks me a question as I start to swallow some pasta, I panic and try to answer the question before swallowing and proceed to choke.

11.) From Megatrons_bitch:

It was grade school. I was probably 10-12 years old. A year or three before middleschool.

I can't remember exactly how old I was only because this wasn't the first time this happened to me, but it certainly was the first time during school.

So, it's the second half of the day. Right after lunch and we're back in class. I'm seated in my tribe(teachers agreed to make teams 4 times a year in class. A new scrambled group of students for 2-3 months) and probably didn't feel good.

I used to be a very quiet person, I still am, but when I was younger this was much more of a problem. I didn't feel like raising my hand to ask the teacher to let me go to the washroom. Seeing as we had just come out of the lunch period. I sit and soldier my way through this bad feel.

That was a horrible mistake. I felt something along the lines of having gas, like a lot of it. So I figure releasing a silent fart couldn't hurt. I do the lean back fart movement. You know, you're in your chair and you jut your legs forward into a super slouch onto the back. I underestimate the pressure built up inside me. Completely underestimate it.

I didn't quietly let out a much needed fart. I had evacuated my bowels in it's entirety into my underwear and pants. Full on shit in my pants in class.

Why it's the most embarrassing thing to me? I stayed in school until it was over. About 2 hours denying that I shit myself.

12.) From shorthairbluebottoms:

after class one day I was alone in the computer lab, as usual, didn't expect anyone to come in... just finished letting out a "silent but deadly" when a student walked in to ask me a question.... it was so putrid that his eyes started to water....

13.) From foodwrap:

My most embarrassing experience was when I was going to go talk to this girl I liked (I think I was gonna try to ask her out) and I ended up tripping on this stupid rug that was right inside the door, so she went over and helped me up, but i was humiliated, so I couldnt even look her in the eye and I kinda ran away :/

14.) From JoefromOhio:

Got stoned with a girl in college and then went to a coffee shop to grab a snack. We order our coffee and sit down to wait. When our order comes up I get up to go grab it and as I'm walking to the counter I start to faint. It'd never happened before so I tried to fight through it... First my hearing went, Then my vision started going black, and as I'm getting to the counter and blindly reaching out for my coffee my body goes limp. I collapse in the middle of this store, spill my coffee all over myself in the process, try unsuccessfully to get up once, then on the second try I get up and upon realization of what just happened, I just run out the door. Once safely around the corner I texted her what happened, she wasn't happy

15.) From [deleted]:

I burped during my first real intense kiss. And to clarify grossness, it was a Costco hot dog burp.

16.) From pakiswag:

I was 8 years old, and went to my uncle's wedding. There were a few hot girls there, who apparently 'family' now. My uncle asked them to keep me entertained. I saw them, and was so excited that for some reason I farted sharted. My dad always brings this story up.

17.) From humorfailure:

As for my most embarrassing story: When I was in 6th grade, I had a huge crush on this boy, Ricardo. To me, he was singly the most amazing boy I'd seen in my 12 years of life. Obviously, I was incapable of saying anything to him, so I employed the most sophisticated manner of communication available to me at the time: my best friend Jackie. I told her to please relay him a message. I said, "Tell Ricardo I think he's really cute. And that I like him." Instead of relaying the message, she brought him over to me, and chirped, "SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU!" I took one look at him, turned, and ended up running away...smack into a basketball post. I knocked myself out and woke up caked in blood. Ricardo never looked at me again.

TL;DR: Tried to tell a guy I liked him, ran away, and broke my nose.

18.) From Terra1ord:

That's nothing. Here's how I asked out my girlfriend. I made the dumb mistake of telling my friends that I would, so they followed me to watch. We were outside one of the gym locker/bathrooms. She said no, but not just by saying, "No." She laughed so hard she fell down then, clearing tears from her eyes, she says, "Oh god, oh, no. Sorry, but no." I walked away with my head down, and slipped in a puddle of what I guess was urine. I landed face down on one of the shitty rugs that they have to wipe your feet. It caught the waistband of my pants and pulled them down under my ass. I looked back over my shoulder and she's laughing her ass off. I also had a bloody nose. It was a good day. TL;DR: I was rejected by a girl, slipped, smashed my nose, then accidentally mooned the girl.

19.) From [deleted]:

I live in Southern California so we have minor earthquakes every once in awhile. One day at my old school, I was hanging out with some friends and suddenly the ground began to shake. I dove under a desk and, because I was scared, I let out a massive fart that I had been holding in. This fucking thing lasted at least 10-11 seconds and it hurt too. Everyone just kind of stared at me for a few seconds and then started to laugh. They called me the "kid who caused an earthquake with his fart" for years.

While most people prefer a happy ending, sometimes we're left with bizarre cliffhangers, unsettling conclusions, or total left field surprises.

Whether it be a real life event or a movie or television show, it's rare that everyone is completely satisfied with an ending. Relationships usually don't get neatly tied bows with both parties feeling a sense of closure and relief and people don't always get to leave a job with a goodbye party in the break room and a new adventure on the horizon. Sometimes it feels like our lives are a sitcom that has gone on too long and the writers are starting to get really tired and lazy. Then of course, we all still have that show or movie we'll never forgive for how they ended it. Why, "Game of Thrones?" WHY?

So, when #TheWorstEndingEver started trending on Twitter, people were quick to share their opinions of what they've deemed the worst finale of all time. Can't wait to see what the end of 2020 has in store for all of us. Fire-breathing dinosaurs riding through the sky on murder hornet UFOs? No, thanks!

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Beautiful love stories can be found in the most unlikely of places. The most thrilling romance in ages can be found in an"Am I The A**hole?" post, and it needs to be a movie starring Rachel Weisz as soon as possible.

The post is called "AITA for saying we'd only help with my ex's kid's party if we could tell people we're engaged?" and it buries the lede. The "we" in question are two women who were impregnated by the same man, the ex, and then FELL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!!!

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

Reddit user FormalLettuce3 writes:

This guy, "Jack", and I were together for about a year, and within a couple weeks of ending it I found out I was pregnant. I texted Jack to tell him, and a couple hours later this woman, "Liz", showed up at my place saying she and Jack had been together for 6 months, and she was also pregnant, and when the text arrived she got my address out of Jack's phone so she could talk to me before him. I told her everything, and Liz dumped Jack. I was about 6 weeks along at this stage, and she was 12 weeks.

Liz and I weren't exactly bezzie mates to begin with, but Jack took a huge step back when he realised how angry at him we both were, so Liz and I ended up doing pregnancy stuff together. When my roommate said that she didn't want to live with a baby, Liz suggested we move in together. Jack objected, but we told him to get lost and moved in together.

You know where this is going...

Over the years we got closer. I've always known I was bi but when our kids were a year old, Liz realised that she was gay, and when the kids were about 5 Liz asked me out. We knew it was a little weird, but nothing about our relationship before this was conventional so we figured why get hung up on "normal" now. We've been together 4 years now, and Liz proposed a few months ago. I said yes.

Jack has been an involved parent this whole time, paying us both child support and having custody on alternate weekends. He's met someone new, married a few years ago, and they have a son, "Tommy". Tommy looks up to the 9 year olds (my son, Liz's daughter) and loves them a lot, and they adore their little brother.

This is a modern family, and Jack—the dude with three baby mamas—is ashamed. Of the same-sex couple.

Tomorrow, Tommy is having a socially distanced birthday party for his 5th birthday. The current guest list is both sets of grandparents, an aunt/uncle/cousin trio, the neighbour's son, then me, Liz, and our kids. They've kept it pretty small for obvious reasons, and there's only going to be 5 kids there total, and Tommy is good friends with the neighbour's kid but not so much with his cousin.

The party is on a day that Jack doesn't have custody, so he's asked us to bring the kids as a favour. He's also asked us to stay and help with the party because I'm a pretty decent baker/cook and he's asked me to make the cake, which I agreed to (and it looks pretty good if I say so myself).

But now, the day before the party, Jack has told me and Liz that his wife's family is homophobic, so for the duration of the party he's going to need us to pretend we're straight, single mums, because Jack is "already on thin ice with them" for getting 3 women pregnant. We said we'd drop the kids and the cake, but not stick around because Jack's parents hate us both anyway and we won't hide our relationship. Jack has said we're being unreasonable, he needs us to do this as a favour, and we already agreed to help so we can't bail on him the day before the party.

Are we TA?

That was a rollercoaster.

The Court of Reddit stands firmly with the couple and against the Baby Daddy x3.

Not only does this guy has the audacity to ask women to stay closeted, he wants the women to cook and bake and help out with the party? If you're going to ask for free labor, my dude, at least let the laborers be themselves.

"NTA (Not The A**hole). Wow, so let me get this straight, Jack cheated on both of you and you both were pregnant when you found out - I’m so sorry both of you ended up in that situation," sweetescapes17 ruled. "And I’m so happy for you that you have both found happiness with each other and created a lovely family. You should in no way have to hide yourselves to make his life easier, and he shouldn’t even have asked you that. I’m amazed you’re still making the cake, you’re a better person than I am."

Judge efm270 concurs, adding, "please write a book about your story that gets turned into a movie and live happily ever after with all your Hollywood money while Jack is miserable with his sh*tty inlaws."

"I was so ready to vote a**hole based on the convoluted title alone but OMG MY LESBIAN HEART HAS EXPLODED," blindreaper469 wrote.

Hollywood, if you're listening, we need this movie YESTERDAY.

Strangers can be terrifying and put us in danger, they can also be deeply sweet and restore our faith in humanity, but other times, their actions are just straight up puzzling.

Some of the most confounding interactions take place when we think we're in danger, but really, the other person is just doing their thing - conventional boundaries be damned. Experiencing a home invasion is never something to be taken lightly, but there are rare stories of burglars who take singular bizarre objects, drunk neighbors who accidentally break and enter, and other exchanges that are simply inexplicable.

People jumped on a popular Reddit thread to share their most puzzling stories that could have become dangerous or traumatic, but instead panned out in deeply bizarre ways.

1. From JesusJuice45:

One night I heard the front door opening and thought it was my brother coming back from the Ye Olde Pube. I could hear him stumbling around the kitchen, banging cupboard doors etc. I didn't think much of it until I hear a voice that's much deeper than my brothers saying ''F*ck'' over and over. I poked my head out of the sitting room and looked into the hall to see a dude who was most definitely not my brother. He said to me ''Sorry man wrong house.''. And strutted by me EATING A SANDWICH. The facker made himself a sandwich before realizing he was in the wrong house! I was so shocked I just stood there and watched him exit the threshold. Perplexing.

2. From Ihadacow:

Someone broke into my garage and stole the end of an extension cord. Just the plug. Why not take the whole cord? I wish I could find the culprit and ask them questions.

3. From Melivora:

Over a period of a few weeks (immediately after moving into a new home and installing an alarm system but not changing the locks (yet)), someone broke in and stole nothing expensive. No jewelry, no iPods or laptops, not even the cash that was often left about.

Instead, he took the screws out of the bottom of our blender so it exploded soup. He hid my mother's iPod, which was later found poking out from behind her wardrobe. He put paper in the hairdryer. He opened my skylight.

When the police started investigating, after I physically heard/saw him leave (from the window), they pointed out that the new alarm meant I was in the house every. single. time.

4. From MegatronSucks:

We had our house broken into and they took all our teabags and sugar.

5. From cweese:

I went with a cousin to the beach when I was in middle school. We got off of the elevator on the ground floor and saw this kid we had been hanging with get on. We nodded, said hey, then turned to the left and walked about 20 foot, almost reaching the door to the outside area. The same kid enters the hotel and walks past us. This was within 30 seconds of him getting on the elevator. We were so confused. He didn't have a twin, and was staying on the 3rd floor. When we saw him the second time he just laughed at us like we were crazy. I still can't explain that.

6. From BassChick22:

One time I was driving my boyfriend home around midnight and in the middle of an empty road there was a vague outline of a person. After slowing down to make sure I wouldn't hit it, we realized it wasn't a person at all, it was a large clown punching-bag. On my way back home 15 minutes later it was gone. I still get the chills when I drive along that road at night.

7. From Trapped_in_Reddit:

I think it was the 6th grade. I was watching WWE when a dude jumped our backyard fence and entered our house through the sliding glass door. He was clearly high and walking like he sh*t his pants. All he said was "Is your dad home?". I said no, and the dude apologized, handed me $10, and hopscotched back outside the house. Never heard from him again.

8. From lovezero:

Someone broke into my car, took nothing and left a graphing calculator.

9. From riffraff12000:

I was chilling at my dad's house at around 3 A.M. My dad's boyfriend was upstairs asleep and my dad had gone to the bar. I was in the living room playing PlayStation when there came a knock at the door.

I figured the best thing would be to pretend I'm not home, and ignore it. Then the knock came again. Then a third time.

This time however my dad's friend Dudley opened the door and walked into the house, drunk or high or something. Dudley was about 6 foot something and built. He was also dressed in a pink tank top, a pair of knee-high zebra stripped boots, and a frilly pink dress.

He walked over and sat down next to me. Then said "Your name is Josh, you can be Josh, or Josh-UA. You have that whole UA thing going for you. I'm Dudley... just Dudley."

I then told him that my dad's roommate was upstairs. So he stumbled up the stairs, fell back down, then went back up. Five minutes later I hear. "DUDLEY?! IT's THREE F*CKING AM, WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" Dudley's response?

"YOU DON'T LIKE MY DRESS DO YOU?" After which Dudley left and the police were called.

We never found out what happened to Dudley, or how he opened the door, or what he really wanted.

10. From starmon3y:

While living in my college apartment, my roommate and I decided to make an apple pie, having been apple picking that day. We finished the pie and went to put it in the oven and could not get the pilot to light. Having been drinking, we decided it would be a great time to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors (also college students) who had moved in earlier that day.

We go to knock on their door and ask to use their oven in exchange for a share of the pie, but their front door was open and no one was home...so we did the only logical thing and put the pie in the oven and went back to our apartment, returning when the pie was done, at which point we introduced ourselves.

11. From LikesToRaveDave:

A few years ago. We were robbed, expensive things were taken. Laptops, phones and even the car! But one thing wasn't right. Something was missing but we couldn't figure out what. The next day was a school day, so we noticed what it was.

The burglars took mine and my sister's school lunchboxes, and the bread bin. It has baffled me ever since.

12. From grouch1980:

I was out with my parents one night eating dinner. When we got home, I got out of the car and went inside ahead of my parents. No one was home except our family dog. When I stepped into the foyer and switched on the light, I turned to walk into the living room. Sitting there in the dark was the dog looking at me like he was terrified. Eyes bulging and skin shivering. As I was rounding the corner to console him, I realized that he was sitting next to a perfectly round, red circle (with a diameter of about three feet) that had somehow been drawn or spilled or traced onto the carpet.

It took a second for the image to register in my mind. After running my fingers through the color and not seeing any come off onto my skin, I reached down to see if perhaps my dog was bleeding. No such luck. My parents followed me in and were equally puzzled as to what this perfect red circle was and how it got there. We assumed it was blood and cleaned the carpet as if treating a bloodstain. Within a few minutes, all traces of the circle were gone. We had no idea what it was or where it came from.

13. From Pointyboot:

When I was a teen my buddy and I broke into a home and left them a toaster and a VCR.

14. From nitroswingfish:

Three summers ago, 5th-floor bedroom, no AC, door to the fire escape that goes right to the ground. It was a full moon and a heatwave, so I'm sleeping naked. At 3:30am, I wake up startled and hear a noise on the fire escape so I jump out of bed into a ninja stance facing the door. One second. Two seconds. Guy nonchalantly reaches the top of the stairs and turns the corner into my room: "what the f*ck?"

He turns and runs, so I chase him. Ramble down the stairs - these are my stairs so I know them well. Catch him at the bottom: "wtf are you doing here?" He's Asian, and isn't answering; I've got him by the front of his shirt, and he's scared. Grab his wallet, go through his shit. All Japanese cards, it makes no sense to me. He's really scared, and I'm naked so I sent him on his way.

TL;DR Japanese guy breaks into my room while I'm sleeping, I catch him in the alleyway while I'm naked, let him go because he, supposedly, spoke no English and had all Japanese cards in his wallet.

15. From vocaltalentz:

There's this guy who I kept running into everywhere I went. At first, I didn't notice it...but over time, I realized that I kept seeing him more and more. When I looked back on my memories to whenever a stranger has said something to me, I realized that it was always him. He was everywhere. I could turn a corner and he'd be right there. I've seen him even when I wasn't in my home state. It was the most bizarre thing ever. I started to wonder if I was hallucinating him.

My friend suggested that maybe he was a ghost...or a stalker (or both). When I decided I'd confront him, he disappeared. He stopped showing up around the school, at my job, on the bus I took. I never saw him again. This part I find the weirdest because he was always around, so he must've been a student at my university...and now he's nowhere to be found.

16. From KINGC*NTF*CKER:

Saturday night playing Skyrim while high and there's a knock at the door. Yay! Pizza, pizza me so hungry! Wrong. It was not the pizza man. It was the oldest Chinese man I have ever seen. He started yelling at me in Chinese, so I let him in, he sat down and I gave him a glass of water. He downed it, used my bathroom and then just left, never to be seen again. I still miss him.

17. From Muficita:

One morning I woke up to a strange male voice calling 'Hello?' from the other room. I knew my roommate and her boyfriend weren't around and I started to panic. I responded with a 'hello' of my own, trying to sound confident. This strange guy opens my bedroom door and says. 'Hey, do you have a cigarette?' I was like, 'Uh, no, who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?' He proceeds to tell me that he woke up on my couch, wrapped in a nice snug blanket, and figured I had probably let him crash after a night of drinks at the bar.

I was out at the same bar but only had one drink (strange for me at the time but I was kind of sick so I had one drink and went home around 11 with full recall of the rest of the night). No one else was around to let this guy in and he didn't remember any details. After he lingered for an awkward amount of time I asked him to leave and he did so no harm was done, but I still have no clue how he got into my apartment or why he would've made himself at home.

18. From muy_grande:

I moved in with my dad for a bit while looking for a new apartment and one night someone broke in through my dad's bathroom window and proceeded to the kitchen to make a snack and watch Comedy Central. Then the person then went into our attic and vanished out the front door. Nothing was stolen but the living room tv was on, dirty plate and empty glass on milk on the coffee table, and then the attic door was pulled down. The worst part was that I was awake and heard the whole thing and thought it was my dad, it's a good thing I didn't decide to join him.

19. From bashfulbird:

About a month ago, I took my car in for a tune-up and they rotated the tires. When I went to pick it up, they asked why I had changed one of the tires. They had records that matched putting on all new tires a year or two before, but one of them was now an old, sh*tty tire.

I had no recollection of this, and had not brought my car to any other shop. Presumably, a third party jacked up the car and stole the tire, but I park in my garage at night and hadn't left it in any parking lot for a long period of time.

20. From ExtraneousCake:

It's never happened to me, but I have instigated an unexplained event happening to other people. My little sister came to spend the night in my apartment, and as we were carousing through the parking lot, she noticed someone had left the windows of their car fully rolled down. I just told her "Oh, yeah, people do that here all the time."

She looked at me like this was crazy and said something must be done. So she marched into my apartment, grabbed a tangerine, drew a suggestive face on it with a sharpie, and placed it gingerly in the passenger's seat. When we walked back by later, the windows were rolled up, but the tangerine was still proudly displayed.

It was a great idea. I now wait in the night, armed with citruses and a sharpie and on the lookout for rolled down windows so I can carry on her great deeds.

21. From rabidstoat:

A train I was taking in the Czech Republic stopped in the middle of nowhere, and everyone got off, carrying their luggage. I eventually followed, toting my backpack up a small hill. There were busses marked in Czech. One filled up and took off. I was clueless, no one spoke English. A little old lady ushered me onto a packed bus. I stood in the aisle for a 10-minute ride through empty backcountry roads. When the bus stopped, we all got off. There was a seemingly identical train waiting for us. Everyone got back on, and the journey continued. No explanation was ever offered in English.

22. From satreannausea:

When I was 6-years-old, I was playing in my backyard that also had a river that went for quite some miles. all of a sudden, a big man came OUT of the river and started walking up the bank when my parents saw and freaked and let our dog take care of him, he just ran back into the river and away from us. what was he doing in the river?

Starting a new job is tough. And most reasonable employers give their employees a little time at the beginning to learn the ropes. Which is why it generally takes a pretty extreme level of incompetence or misbehavior to get fired on the first day of a job. But it happens!

Someone asked Reddit: "do you know someone who got fired on their first day? What did they do?" These 21 people share stories of (now former) co-workers who didn't last more than a day at the job, and why:

1.) From crushcastles23:

His last job, he was driving cars from where they were dropped off to where they were sold at auction. He was driving this really nice BMW sitting at a stop sign at the base of a hill. Semi truck carrying logs loses its brakes and slams him at 50+ mph. He then proceeds to t-bone another car while still getting pushed by the semi. Him t-boning the other guy knocked him out from in front of the semi and into another car which had seen what was happening and slid to a stop. The semi went over the hill and landed in the creek at the base.

He got cut out of the car then airlifted out (along with the driver of the semi and the passenger of the car he t-boned) and when he called his boss (after emergency surgery) the boss fired him. He sued the hell out of the company for wrongful termination and he's been living off the money for 3 years.

2.) From lo-key-glass:

I worked at a gas station a while back. Helped train this new guy. He was really nice, we all liked him. 1st solo shift he walks away with $150 out of the register. Didn't even try to cover it up or anything. Everybody was shocked. Wtf did he think was gonna happen?

3.) From Yakistonia:

Worked at a fifties themed restaurant. Kid names joe gets a job As a busyboy. Was told to clean tables and set them. Nothing more. Nothing less. First table he cleans he steals the tip. Server (foolishly) gives him the benefit of the doubt. Joe's next act of defiance. He approaches a friendly and elderly regular. They get to chatting and the gentleman brings up that he has just had serious dental surgery. Joe is intrigued and begins failed negotiations with the gentleman for painkillers. The negotiations turned to pleading and my manager intervened and promptly fired him. This all happened within the first hour

4.) From zazameman:

I fired a guy who showed up four hours late his first day. I was in a moving company at the time. When he showed up he asked if he still gets paid for the job, since the bill includes 4 people and we did the job with 3, I told him to walk home and not to bother showing up the next day.

5.) From MastadonBob:

At orientation, they told the twelve of us that we were the bestest and the brightest of 900 or so interviews they'd conducted. We got our access badges and our corporate Amex cards.

One of the "best and the brightest" went to a high-end men's clothing store on his lunch hour and purchased four thousand dollars worth of suits, ties and shoes.

He came back from lunch and bragged of his exploits. Fired on the spot. He actually thought his Amex card was a job perk. "Can I at least keep the clothes?"

6.) From Primesghost:

I work in a college town and we hired a new part-timer to work reception. On her first day she casually mentions to us that her wealthy parents want her to experience what it's lke to "struggle". So she has to work a job and use the city busses for two months and then she can quit and her parents will give her allowance back and get her a new car.

Boss: "Wait, so you're going to leave in two months?"

Her: "Yeah, that's what my parents said."

Boss: "Can I talk to you in my office?"

7.) From [deleted]:

I worked with a guy named Darryl for about 7 hours. Darryl was probably in his late 40s-early 50s, and was a pretty intimidating looking guy. He was probably 6'6", 250lbs+, muscular, bald, and a full beard. He was hired as a produce manager at the grocery store I worked at.

I talked to him for a while, and he seemed to be an extremely nice guy. He said he was in the military most of his life,went to college when he was in his 40s, and ended up getting a Masters in Industrial Engineering. He was telling me how depressed he was that no one would hire him because of his age, and was planning on working here while job hunting.

We were almost off work, and the assistant manager came to talk to us. I forgot to mention that the assistant manager was an ENORMOUS asshole.

He came over, introduced himself to Darryl, and immediately began criticizing his first day's work. I don't know exactly what Darryl did, but me made a minor mistake that made the assistant manager ask him "Do you even know what a Serrano pepper is?"

Darryl defended himself, and apologized saying he would fix whatever mistake he made. The assistant manager then delivered the final blow, and said "Noah, it looks like we've hired a produce manager who doesn't know shit about produce" and laughed.

Darryl then said what every employee there had wanted to say at one point, "You're not going to talk to me like a fucking child." The assistant manager fired him on the spot.

8.) From RockonWeinerdog:

I was a pizza delivery guy at a family owned Italian restaurant. They brought a guy in to help make pizzas. Two hours into his training he starts talking about wanting to bang the waitresses. The waitresses were the daughters of the owner. The guy teaching him how to make the pizzas was the older brother. He was physically ejected from the building.

9.) From nikunikuniku:

Got fired on my first week, after training when the schedule came out. I was in high school and during the interview I told the manager interviewing me that I could only work 20 hours a week. I didn't mind 8 hour days on weekends but during the week I couldn't do it. As soon as training ends, the schedule comes out and I'm scheduled to work 39.5 hours with several 8 hour shifts on weekdays after school. I went into the managers office and told him that I couldn't do it and so he said, "this is why we hired you, either do it or your fired". Well... That was that.

10.) From SummerEvening:

yup, new kid around 19 or 20 comes in (warehouse job) goes out to buy weed during lunch break, gets busted, turns out he has a warrant out for him, goes to jail, then has the balls to call us to bail him out because he lives with his grandmother and she would get upset.

11.) From Lord_Metagross:

Guy applied for a general manager position at the movie theater I worked at. He got the job based off him having prior manager experience at pizza hut or something. First day he showed up high wearing a "Suns out guns out" tank top and swimming trunk. Also, he was wearing two different shoes. Owner told him to leave promptly after showing up for work that same day.

12.) From nimbusdimbus:

I had just arrived at Great Lakes for Boot Camp (This was in 1991) and we are standing in line for our first introduction to what is known in the military as "Operation Golden Flow" or our first urinalysis test. As I'm standing in a VERY long line and tip tapping around because I have to piss so much, a guy standing behind me taps me on the shoulder and asks what we are waiting for. I look at him and tell him "A Urinalysis".

He looks at me and asks me what a urinalysis is, so I tell him "To see who has taken any drugs recently".

He nods, shrugs and says "Well, I guess I shouldn't have smoked that crack last night". He was serious.

Now, he officially wasn't fired that first day, but about 2 weeks later when his results came back he was. So yes, you can say that he was fired that first day but had to suffer for a few weeks until officially let go.

13.) From Scottland83:

One guy I hired, and it turned out he had been fired from his last job on the first day. I never found out why, but I didn't have him back because he was making other employees uncomfortable, would mutter hostile things, not answer direct questions and instead just stare silently. Pretty uncomfortable stuff, I'm guessing that did it.

14.) From ca990:

I had to fire a janitor on day one because someone spilled a cup of coffee and he stared them directly in the eyes and yelled "fuck you" at the top of his lungs. He was fucking crazy. He threatened to kill me after he was fired and stood outside of the workplace with a bouquet of flowers until we called the police on more than one occasion.

15.) From growsgrass:

I fired someone about 2 hours into the first day. We had a monster pile of branches to send through the wood chipper and two of my better guys were working on it. I hire a new guy to help out. I spend all this time training him how not to get killed by the the wood chipper and send him out with my two guys.

I run out a bit later to check on him and I see me experienced guys getting it done. They are busting their butts and putting in work chipping branches. New guy in the other hand picks up a twig and tosses it in the chipper, grabs a drink of water, grabs another twig, another drink, goes and has a smoke, another few twigs etc. I had to let him go.

16.) From jblantonbaby:

I managed a smoothie place for a while and hired this kid for mornings. His first day he was 2 hours late. He apologized for being late because he was tripping on shrooms and got lost on the way to work. He also took 15 smoke breaks in the 4 hours that he worked. When his shift was over I told him not to come back.

17.) From [deleted]:

I've let people go on the first day before. More often than not, it's blatant lies on their resume about work experience and qualifications. Mistakes are almost always forgiven.

18.) From DavidBenAkiva:

My company hired temps for this big job. We didn't have a lot of space, so temps had to double up in cubicles. I did feel very bad for them, but some of their actions were hilarious /terrible.

Our laptops require a password to login before doing anything. It's a gray screen with prompts for the username and password. Pretty simple stuff. One guy had his username and password written on a post-it note. He then spent two hours trying to figure out how to login. He didn't realize he had to press enter. TWO HOURS!

Another guys was chugging along at his task. His cube mate was sneezing or talking or something. His reaction? Slap her. He got escorted out of the building. The next day, he shows up to work again like nothing happened. He was escorted back out and told to please not return.

Most of the temps were nice and did just fine. Some made you wonder if they would ever get a full time gig.

19.) From rednail64:

Second day. She was visiting one of our production sites and thought the second day was starting too early, so she called down to the local leadership team to say she'd be in that afternoon, if at all.

She was on the next flight home instead.

20.) From [deleted]:

I worked at Future Shop when the store first opened in my city. Since it was brand new the first few days were spent setting up the store itself before the grand opening. When everyone arrived on the 2nd day of work, they had everyone in the entire store stand in a circle while they explained that someone had stolen a copy of Grand Theft Auto, that they knew who it was since everything was recorded by the security cameras, and asked for the person "who knows who they are" to please leave the store immediately or else they would call the police. The youngest and quietest teenager immediately walked out with his head hanging low. Super awkward.

21.) From [deleted]:

Worked for a logistics company that specialized in transport computers. The guy left the depot on his first day, made his first delivery, went to the petrol station to fill up, left the keys in the cab when he went to pay and returned to nothing more than an empty parking spot and bad work references.

While therapists are meant to provide helpful insight and ask important questions, not everyone is always perfect at their job...

If you're going to slack off at a job, one that holds you accountable for the mental health and stability of patients probably isn't the best choice. However, people do make mistakes and therapists have a learning curve like any other profession. If you've ever sought the help of a therapist and questioned whether or not they're giving you sound and healthy treatment, don't be so quick to blame yourself for not looking "inward" enough for not putting the right amount of work in. There could be a chance that your therapist might just not be a good fit for you or they're just not a good fit for their job.

So, when a Reddit user asked, "What's the worst thing a therapist has ever done/said to you?" people were ready to share their therapy horror stories. Therapists and counselors, take notes!

1.

Therapist: Have you considered all of the problems you have with yourself and your family is because you’re gay?

Me: I’m not gay.

Therapist: You just need to come out to everyone and your problems will fix themselves. - PsychedelicWeaselGun

2.

Had a psychiatrist just walk out of the room as I was having a breakdown in the psych ward. I was by myself for about a minute in a room with a bunch of equipment I could’ve used to hurt myself. I understand compassion fatigue and feel it in my job as well, but I’ll never forget how sh*tty that made me feel. - 1234byfeist

3.

I had a counsellor (brief therapist) when I was in my late teens, who after several months working with me, trying to work through suicidal ideation, depression and PTSD, looked at me during a session, looked at my file, sighed and said "you know, maybe life isn't for everyone" she then proceeded to close my file and leave the room. Never had another session or any contact after that, but saw her at the clinic often. Complaints were filed and I believe she was fired for that. - Fallen_Angel_90

4.

I was kinda forced to see this really sh*tty therapist at school when I was about 17 yo. I didn’t like her, but I think she wanted to “save me” and just wouldn’t leave me alone. One time I was there she asked how I was, and I just said I was doing fine. And she responded with listing all the reasons I had to feel like sh*t, and said it was amazing how I could feel good despite all the sh*tty things that had happened to me, like she was really trying to dragging me down and not moving on. - ehnej

5.

I was told to have casual sex to get over being abused as a child. Mind you I was 15 when she told me that. - Greyjitsu

6.

told me that i should find god in order to at least have "a father figure" - low_iron_66

7.

When I was a teen I was venting to my therapist that my mom wouldn't let me wear any clothes from the men's section (I'm a girl). I was frustrated with my mom's strict adherence to gender stereotypes, and said that since it was my body, it was my choice what to wear. My therapist shot me down and said that my parents gave me my body, and therefore I didn't have a choice. Honestly I don't think our sessions ever helped. My therapist only ever made me feel more frustrated and invalidated. - bitchasseren

8.

I went for several months to a therapist who remained silent all the time, whatever the subject i tried to express was. This was so frustrating because sometimes i needed a reply that never came; On top of that, the sessions lasted, at best, 20 minutes, but more often 15, and he consistently stopped them abruptly while i was expressing what i had on my mind (while the sessions were supposed to last close to 1 hour). - -JpaxxX-

9.

I said my X husband (married at the time) was abusive to me, and he replied- men are not the only ones who abuse in a marriage. - marie224

10.

I had a counselor tell me I needed to stop being silly and grow up. I'm always laughing and joking and when she said that it threw me hard. I couldn't be what made me happy. I struggled with it for a month and then realized she was a b*tch and I needed to see someone new. - Amadei

11.

A therapist once told me I was the most interesting patient she had. I know it's technically a compliment but I didn't want compliments. I wanted to get better. I didn't want my issues to be considered "interesting", I wanted them to go away. I only saw that therapist for a year because she wasn't helping me at all - vlcastle

12.

SHE DIDN'T NOTICE AN EARTHQUAKE. We were sitting there talking and I started feeling the whole room shake, I look up at her like "wtf?" and she goes "what's wrong? you look concerned." I felt SO crazy and didn't mention the shaking until I got in my car after the appointment and a huge earthquake was all over the news. - LittleAdamWorth

13.

I saw a therapist for anxiety issues a few years back. I was a freelance designer desperate for work, and was paying for therapy out of pocket since I had no insurance. My therapist decided to hire me to build her website, and our sessions could be payment... But then my sessions just became more like weekly meetings about her website... And she'd get mad at me when things weren't done to her liking. Soooo it wound up making my anxiety worse! Super great. - AntagonistApologist

14.

He said "Just grow up" when I was telling him about how my dad hurt my feelings. - ali_kali97

15.

I was trying to explain my anxiety and she would always give me some weird metaphor or something that didn't really help. One I remember in particular was

"ugh. Dont be anxious. Being anxious all the time is like always thinking there is a snake under your chair... is there a snake under your chair?" Then she made me look under the chair and say no. Then she topped it off with another truly helpful "see? So just don't be anxious!"

I wish i could say I was kidding. I am not. - toobasic2care

16.

I went to a Psychiatrist once to try and get off of Ambien. First time seeing him, and he said “Can I give you my Via code? If you use it we both get a discount on ride shares.”

I was like “Dude!” - ElectricGypsy

17.

I went to the school counselor because I was getting bullied and all she said was, “get over it.” - IInternet_Explorer

18.

First and only time I went to a therapist. After going through some basic information I told him I was very depressed. He flat out said I have no reason to be depressed and I should think more positive about things in my life to be happier. - PM_ME_REAL_NUDES

Ever seen an item in a store, thought "this seems cheap, but it's probably fine," and purchased it, only to have it disintegrate the second time you use it? I won't name names, but there are entire retail chains subsisting on this business model. And unfortunately, human beings are also capable of pulling this bait-and-switch tactic in relationships. The motto? Red flags exist for a reason. Listen to them. And also beware of dollar stores.

Someone asked people of Reddit whose spouses didn't show their true colors until after marriage (or later on in the relationship): "were there any red flags that you ignored while dating? If so, what were they?"

These 19 people share stories of the warning signs they mistakenly ignored in partners before marrying them or committing to them long-term. Oops.

1.) From [deleted]:

There were a million red flags, but I ignored all of them. How they treat literally everyone else will be how they treat you. If they lied to everyone, you can bet they do it to you too. I am an idiot, but now hopefully a wiser idiot. Probably not though. Keep walking into the same brand of rake.

2.) From 10261991:

His family had f*cked up boundaries. And he had no opinions of his own when it came to them.

3.) From sneakysneeza:

What his ex wife said about him as a parent. He told me that she was lying and that he did all of the work when they were together, she was lazy and wouldn't clean the house, and that she only cared about partying with her friends. Once I had a baby with him, I realized she was completely honest and I was on my own.

4.) From grooveunite:

I got sick for a few years and she told me "I didn't sign up for this." Should have broken up then.

5.) From DLS3141:

When I met her parents and all they did was yell at each other.

Turns out that’s how she thought couples should communicate.

It didn’t end well

6.) From Placter:

She was a liar for attention. She tried telling me she was a twin, she wasn’t. It was just minor things that to me just seemed stupid. She would lie about how she used to train dogs (she used to be a groomers assistant). She talked about everything she had plans for and seemed relatively put together.

Once we got married her lying didn’t stop. Mainly when I asked “are you on tinder?”

7.) From Mandorism:

"I'm so glad we are finally married so I don't have to have sex with you anymore."

8.) From txmade41:

My ex fiance after I asked her to marry me became clingy. She would call me and text through my entire work day and then if I didn't respond quick enough I'd get a passive aggressive text, voicemail, or email about how she feels like I'm cheating on her. Eventually I was tired of the accusation and the apologies i had given even though I did nothing wrong.

9.) From ham-gravy:

Oh yes, many red flags. I guess he wasn't 'completely' different after marriage.. He cheated on me a bunch, I forgave it all, then 2 months after the wedding he told me he was polyamorous. TOLD me, didn't ask if it's something we could try, whatever. So he started dating and sleeping with other women.

I was a total dumbass. He figured I was such a doormat before the wedding, that after it, he could really get away with whatever he wanted.

We are divorced, and I'm happier than I've ever been with a new man who has eyes only for me.

10.) From daniel22x612:

Never married but I was engaged. He was very smart and went to an Ivy League school and once told me a monkey could do my job. Always thought he was better than me and smarter than me and would put me down in front of his friends. Just brushed it all off. His self righteousness and never admitting he was wrong because he was so much smarter and better than me so I must be the wrong one all the time is what made me call off the wedding. Happy I dodged that bullet but pretty upset I let so many red flags slide for so long. Turns out I’m not always wrong and I’m actually pretty smart.

11.) From 03throwaway03:

Where I didn't pick up on the red flag was she could not be WRONG. She wasn't a know it all. She would admit if she was unsure. But if she put forth anything, a belief, a memory, she treated it like gospel truth. She could be ignorant, undecided, but not WRONG.

This lead to horrible arguments where she would refuse to believe how she remembered something, even if 3 other people were backing me up, happened.

12.) From saphyress:

That his mom was a damn lunatic. She could be your best friend or worst enemy, sometimes in the same day.

13.) From csudebate:

We didn't drink too often when it was just the two of us but when we went out with friends she got way more drunk than everybody else. I just assumed she like to get loose when we were out partying. Turns out she was an alcoholic.

14.) From ButILikeFire:

Looking back, her friends acting surprised when she wanted to do anything should’ve been a red flag. Turns out all she ever really wanted to do was watch movies. She was brilliant at faking an entirely different persona, though, and nobody said anything to me about it until after the wedding.

15.) From AfghanHokie:

This happened after we got engaged and realized a month before marriage. I realized my fiance was selfish and only cared about herself. I finally had enough and broke it off with her and ate the cost of the wedding and it was the best decision I ever made. It was her second failed engagement and 10 years later she is still single and looking to rope another schmuck into her web. Saw her on a dating app and noticed she cut off 5 years off her age just a few months back, had a good laugh. The biggest red flag I missed was early on we brought photo albums to a coffee date to share stories about our families etc. She brought two whole albums of photos of just herself in different outfits. I thought it was weird, but thought perhaps she wasn't comfortable sharing photos of her family yet. Turns out she only cares about herself and that I was right to be concerned and should've gone with my gut instincts early on.

16.) From SporkOfThor:

She was on the rebound from an engagement with a guy by the same name and had only been in town for a couple hours before we met. She always wanted me around, which I found flattering, and believed it was because she really cared and liked the things I did. As it turned out, she was pathologically unable to spend time alone, and just adapted her personality to whoever she was around. I needed to work, and was gone 8-12 hrs/day, so I moved us back near her family and friends where she grew up so she wouldn't be lonely. She became a different person because of that and we divorced. Same thing happened to the next guy. And the one after, I presume; I lost track.

17.) From StiffDiq:

We've been married three years, and we get along great. Before we married, he's usually very calm. But when he gets mad, he gets out of control with it. When me or the kids are around, he keeps it under control. With strangers or some relatives,he is ready to fight them. I believe him when he says he'd never harm me or the kids, but ever so often I see him lose his cool like when the kids do dumb little things, like hide his keys in his cereal for example. Last January, he got so mad at that that he yelled at his daughter and threw the bowl across the room. I cursed his ass Off about that and he apologized, so at least he does that much. I'm trying to keep cool about it, but it's becoming a problem that I need to help resolve.

Tl;Dr Husband has always had a hot head, and is slowly taking it out on me and the kids.

18.) From hmmimthinking:

While we were dating, I was talking about how I liked the Beatles and he for whatever reason thought that was stupid. So he threw my laptop across the room. He ended up being abusive while we were married. Marriage lasted about 8 months.

19.) From cliffy348801:

Ex wife that embezzled 700k from my business and was an abusive drug user... she was fired from 3 jobs in 4 months when we started dating. my bank accounts were drained while we dated and I did not pay attention then. I wish I had.

Her father gave her 30k for the wedding and when we were presented the bill, she handed the bill to me and said 'it's your bill now.' She spent the money on drugs.

I was blind to it.

Sometimes it's difficult for family and friends to wrap their heads around accepting a romantic relationship with a massive age difference between partners, but what do you do when your stepdad is significantly younger than you?

Sure, we all hope that our parents have happy relationships especially after a difficult divorce, but there are some boundaries that just shouldn't be broken. While they say "love is blind" and "age is just a number," if your parent chooses to be with someone who is younger than their adult child, things can get seriously awkward. Do you even bother to call someone your step parent if they were five grades below you in school? Or, do you just never give your parent's new partner a title and avoid all eye contact at holidays while doing the math that you were in high school before they were in kindergarten? Of course, love can sneak up on anyone, but there is only so much wine-chugging in silence that can occur before you have to address the fact that you could've babysat your own stepdad in middle school.

So, when a recent Reddit user consulted the internet's moral compass (Am I the As*hole?) about a dilemma with his mother's new partner, people were ready to help.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my stepdad to stop trying to be my dad?

I'm 35, and my mom who is 52 is dating a man who is is 27. This is f*cking weird as hell and I really don't like this guy but whatever. He always brings up the fact that's he's my step dad and always talks about how proud of me he is and how good of a son I've become and how he's raised me so well and sh*t.

Like he's literally acting like my dad, which pisses me off because he is younger than me and was barely ever in my life but more so, because I actually had a dad who unfortunately passed away. I told him to stop in private nad he brushed it off as nothing.

My "step dad" was at a family gathering and he was making jokes about how much of a great step son I am and how proud of me he is and I lost my sh*t and said "listen you worthless sack of sh*t, you are not my dad just because you're dating my mom, you didn't raise me and you're the youngest person here. Shut the f*ck up, you're an annoying brat and you're f*cking weird for dating someone almost twice your age. SHUT THE F*CK UP I AND THE REST OF US DONT WANT YOU HERE"

He packed up his sh*t and left. 2/3 of the family was happy he was gone but the other 1/3 basically won't speak to me and are pissed off including my mom.

Wow, that's some solid drama at a family gathering. Here's what the internet had to say:

His behavior is weird and condescending af. It’s a worn out joke and definitely even more inappropriate given that your father has passed. Dude needs to grow up and realize your moms age doesn’t magically transfer to him. If he had made the joke once or twice and you guys were buddy-like then I would cut him some slack, but it doesn’t sound like he deserves it. It doesn’t even sound like a joke if he does it all the time. It sounds like he’s legitimately trying to take credit for raising you and your accomplishments and to come off as older than he is. - Right_Ad4509

I lost my dad too and if my mom started dating someone and they pulled that sh*t regardless of their age I’d go batsh*t. You did right by approaching him in private first and when he didn’t stop you were within your rights to go off.

But you may want to soothe your mom because you did take a massive dump on her love life - littlegremlinsparky

A person can only take so much. Step-parents are a hard sell anyway, but there is no way a 27 year old had any hand in your upbringing. Also, at 27 he should be self-aware enough to not try and be a parent. If he was joking or something, well I could understand, but if he's truly that delusional, then you have a right to express how you feel. I hope he treats your Mom well. - RoyallyOakie

Mostly the ‘step dad’ but publicly humiliating your mums partner in front of all your family is a bit of a dick move. I get your frustration, but your handling of the situation was poor. You need to talk to your mum and her partner about this together, and as calmly as you can to reach a proper resolution. - redditor191389

you probably should have stopped at “It’s not funny, STFU.” But going on a tirade and speaking for everyone in saying nobody wants him there was too much.

Also, he’s a complete d*ck. It’s disappointing your mom tolerates his behavior. I can certainly understand why you hate him. - reirone

So, there you have it!

While it's arguably inappropriate that his mom is dating someone significantly younger than her adult son, the general opinion is that he probably could've just reminded the "stepdad" to stop joking and left it at that. Good luck, everyone!

“Vodka is kind of a hobby.”

-Betty White

These boozy and hilarious memes are the perfect chaser for any cocktail. Grab a drink and have a laugh, the party has just begun.

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As women in a patriarchal society, we are being constantly fed messages about things we should and shouldn't do to impress and attract men. Most of these things/activities require that we spend our money, objectify us, and have literally nothing to do with what men actually want or desire. Basically, capitalism is just one giant episode of Punk'd with Ashton Kutcher.

One way to escape the cycle is to remind ourselves that most of the things women (who date men) often worry and obsess over with regard to attracting men are actually just the product of social conditioning. And most men don't really care at all. At least, not the ones we want to attract. (And if you're one of the many women who already don't obsess over these things, then yay! You're free!)

Someone asked men of Reddit: "what’s something women obsess over because they think you like it or they’re trying to impress you but you really couldn’t care less about?" These 25 guys weighed in:

1.) From chestyCough94:

How their mid section looks during sex. I've known a couple of girls who try to cover up their belly/love handles when it comes time to get down either by keeping their top on or hugging themselves. The truth is, if you've gotten that far, the guy more than likely doesn't care about the tiny bit of cushion you got there, he probably likes it

2.) From DameBlancheFramboise:

I'm a woman but I think cellulite is a winner here. One of my boyfriends didn't even know what it was. I showed him pictures but the only thing he saw was ass.

3.) From ElectricChess:

I'm probably older and more married than most in this thread, but my wife seems obsessed with the idea that every woman in my family has to just think she is the best.

I get it. She's from a very tight-nit, rural family. Even extended family members like cousins are very close. When someone in their family is offended by something, they get really sassy with each other and backstabby. An example might be someone didn't get invited to go on a camping trip, and feel like they should have been invited, now they won't show up to the next thing out of spite. Mind you, these people get together like twice a month minimum. They are all up in each other's business all the time.

So my wife is super afraid of not being liked in my family. She's terrified that if we don't go to something, or we don't buy a nice enough gift, etc, that she's going to shunned or something. But my family isn't like that. We all live in different cities and rarely see each other. We're just happy to see each other, the few times a year we do. We don't usually sweat stuff like that.

But I think she still believes that she's letting me down and being a bad wife if all the women in my family don't just adore her. The thing is, they do. They have all loved her from the very beginning because she's great.

4.) From hekatonkhairez:

Goes both ways but, don’t try to be more “cultured” or “sophisticated” than you really are. I had a girl speak the shittiest French to me while we were having sex. Almost lost my erection from the confusion. Almost.

5.) From Cyberkite:

When they think not saying they are into me is a sign of intrest... I'm a dumbass man, with no time to keep reading people. If you decline, ignore me and other stuff, I just don't care...

Had 3 girls once tell me why I didn't write anymore, or went harder. And simple isn't worth it, especially if you wanna do that in a relationship.

6.) From mojave_moon:

I used to fly small, single engine planes a lot. I took a girl with me once and she was self-conscious about her glasses and didn’t wear them and subsequently couldn’t see anything past the instrument panel and it was a beautiful fall day and I flew over Letchworth State Park and shit.

I knew she had coke-bottle glasses and I was still super-interested in her. I lost interest because she was too self-conscious to get something out of a thing I loved and wanted to share with her.

7.) From LukeTheGroundwalker:

Acting dumb to look cute...we just see it as dumb.

8.) From coronapredictor:

Acting stupid and a "save me" syndrome . Huge turn off

9.) From sevaninja:

Lips. Fucking collagen, botox, or whatever injections chasing some fake inner tube inflated dream when really they look grotesque. Thin lips look good. Big lips look good. Lips in general look good. But turgid O-rings is a shit look on everyone and it confounds me that people do it to themselves.

10.) From ICE-13:

Just "looking good" or "i look too ugly to go in there" is fucking dumb. Its a walmart you dont have to look like a Hollywood wedding

11.) From hifromsydney:

It’s nice if you sit down and watch the football with me, but if you’re doing it just to impress me with fake interest, I would rather you be genuine and do your own thing and join me after.

12.) From cornishwildman76:

Tits. We like them small, medium or large. Yes some men are fixated on big boobs, but I feel like most men just like tits. It's like going into a bar and asking for a jack and coke, they say we only have pepsi. To which I say ok that will be fine.

13.) From Bjarneedling:

The size of their butts. My wife always says she tired of her ass and that it is to big. She is on a diet to lose weight anyhow, good for her and all her own choice. But I love her ass no matter the size but i CAN NOT convince her that it is a great ass. I don't care, i'm 34 and all she has to do, is kiss me and touch me anywhere near my groin and i go hard in seconds. Ladies, if a man is really in love with you, he dos not care about the wrapping paper on the gift.

14.) From zutari:

Eyebrows. They get sooo much attention.

15.) From KryRaid:

I would say all the makeup, nails and beauty stuff but I've realized that they just do it for themselves so fair play to them

16.) From ThatGuyIsGeneric:

Not sure if they all do this but certainly the ones I have encountered seemed to place weird value on landscaping, deadass if we are horny I promise you no matter how much is going on down there we'll be up in there balls out like Viridian Forest.

17.) From radasfack:

My partner and I were watching telly and there was a commercial for Dove deodorant. He looked over and told me that he’d never thought about my armpits. It was very romantic.

18.) From reddit01234543210:

Fake eyelashes

They look like a cheap spider Halloween decoration is stuck to your eyelids.

19.) From mindfeces:

I don't notice the shoes. Maybe I notice how they posture you, but I certainly don't notice designs or brands. Same with handbags/purses - but I do think the utilitarian "about to go on an adventure" ones are kind of cool.

I've been told that those are status things intended to be seen by other women, though.

20.) From AshKohn47:

I must be weird, but I think a little bit of acne/braces/glasses are cute

21.) From ChiBron86:

Obsession with having a flat tummy. Most men couldn't care less if you have a little fat there (and some are fine with even more).

Giving advice to someone younger than you can be a cathartic way to cleanse yourself of all your own mistakes, and hope someone can learn from you telling them, "don't drink 14 shots of tequila and try to learn how to kayak at 3 AM..."

While there are definitely some people who have to learn from experience and make their own mistakes before they modify their behavior, passing along the wisdom you've accumulated over the years can always help a younger person. Navigating your twenties can be a bit of a nightmare, and it's often an insecure and scary decade of self-discovery and growth.

Some people figure it all out in their twenties and come out with a dazzling career, a life partner, a family, a house, and a dog while others are definitely muting those people's Instagram stories because they're still sharing an apartment with four internet strangers. Regardless of what your path is, sometimes it's hard to trust that you're on the right one. And that's when it might be beneficial to listen to someone older than you...

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "People who are 40+ and happy with their life, what is your advice to people in their 20s?" people were ready to share.

1.

Don't fall for the trap that your life needs to be one long narrative that you should be building. Life is best when it's a bunch of happy moments that just happen to be connected.

Don't try to make your life into a novel, make it a book of poems. - JayParty

2.

Chris Rock said it best: " Now, people tell you life is short. No, it’s not. Life is loooong. Especially if you make the wrong decisions! " - Smooch-A-Rooch

3.

It's never too late to start again.

All in my 20's I thought I couldn't just restart my career or dump a useless boyfriend or go back to school because I was already on a certain trajectory. Made my choices now I gotta make the best of it. That's total bullsh*t. You have no idea how incredibly young you are and how much time you have to do whatever you want to do.

When I figured this out, I found the man of my dreams, had a kid in my late late 30's, dropped my entire career in my late 40's and starting a new one at 50 and it's awesome. - purplelicious

4.

When I was in college, I had the chance to go to Europe but I passed because I had to work at a warehouse. I picked staying at a part time warehouse job over seeing the world. When I finally went abroad in my 30s, it changed my perspective about everything and everyone. Go to another country that is far away and different than your own. - EvenCaramel

5.

Maintain your friendships. In twenty years you will be so grateful for those people who saw you through marriages, children, illness and health. People who will go for a trip with you, love your kids, remember you as a young person.

Friends are essential but they require work. Don't be alone just because you don't want to be the person who reaches out to others. - fantazja1

6.

I’m 46, and here’s what I know:

1. money is important but it’s not the end all be all. It will not listen to your problems or hug you when you need it

2. Watch your weight, your blood pressure, and do not smoke. 75% of my patients that have the most serious diagnoses have at least one of these factors.

3. Comparison will rob you of joy. Be happy for others, but don’t feel you need to be like them.

4. Let go of the little things. Stress will kill you

5. Chase your dreams! Life goes by SO fast. You don’t want to be 80 yrs old and regretting not traveling, pursuing your passion, etc

6. You cannot change someone. Whether a friend or a partner, their faults will not “get better” and you cannot rescue them. Don’t waste your life on toxic people.

7. Make a point of performing kind acts for others. It will greatly enrich your life.

Now... go get your life!!! - SharCooterie

7.

Relax more. Don’t get angry over little things. - QualityKatie

8.

When I was 22, an older gentleman asked me how old I was and then told me, “chad303, when you are twice that age, you’ll be twice the man you are today.” I almost considered it a slight in that moment, but time has proven him wise. Here I am, twice that age and, in my humble estimation, twice the man than I was then. I believe this chiefly because I have learned that kindness is not a weakness, humility serves you better than pride, and cruelty is a fool’s game. - chad303

9.

Everything you "get" becomes something you "have"

Learn how to be happy "having" things instead of "getting" them. - DeludedSwoledMan

10.

It's not a race! Stop comparing yourself to others. Just because they did things sooner than you, doesn't mean they're happier or better.

Try to start good habits. It is a little rough at first, but in a few years it will be second nature. Do this with things like cooking, cleaning, saving money and self-care.

It is okay to not like someone. It is also okay to have someone not like you (people are going to not like you for no reason. That is okay. It's a "them" issue and not a "you" issue). Don't be an ass to everyone and give them reason to dislike you, but also know that you are under no obligation to put up with someone else's bad friendship.

There is no shame in seeing a mental health professional. - MayYourBladesNVRDull

11.

Don't put yourself in ridiculous amounts of debt trying to portray a certain image. You'll spend your entire life trying to get out of the hole you dug or you'll have to declare bankruptcy.

Set aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses for emergencies just like now. Moreover, save now for your retirement years. It doesn't require much and if you have it taken directly from your paycheck you won't be inclined to not pay yourself first.

Take care of your body. Exercise to maintain a healthy weight and good cardiovascular health. As you get older, it's much harder to maintain these.

Enjoy the days of your youth without going overboard. There is nothing wrong with having a good time, yet if you are always waking up wondering what happened last night, why you can't remember how you spent so much money or you always have a hangover; you should tone it down a bit.

Don't take advice or criticism as a personal attack. Most times the people who care about you have observed behavior in you which is off putting, doesn't reflect who you really are or could be or would make you a more rounded person. - RmeMSG

12.

Get a regular exercise routine going and stick to it like your quality of life depends on it, because it does. - MellisaHoey

13.

Start saving now for your retirement. Avoid debt. Floss daily. Exercise daily. - [deleted]

14.

I’m 40. This is my input.

1. Everyone is focused on themselves to care too much about their opinion of you. So f*ck what they think.

2. Social media is only an illusion.

3. Zero debt is an amazing feeling. Think twice before dropping that down payment on that fully loaded 2020 dream mobile that offers nothing but looks and depreciates value quickly.

4. Falling out of love is perhaps more powerful than falling in love.

5. Use up ALL of your vacation time / sick time at work.

6. Don’t lose sight of the hobbies you enjoyed as a child. They will help you live as you grow older.

7. Family is not necessarily blood, but instead who you would bleed for.

8. There are just as much benefits to being a night owl as there are to being an early bird.

9. Forgive yourself first before forgiving others.

10. Do not be a doormat in submission, but hold the door open in kindness. - NoiseBarn

15.

I am 40 years old and I have three pieces of advice for anyone in their 20's

1. Accept that perfection doesn't exist. Your relationships will have problems, your car will break down, someone else will anyways have a better phone, a newer car, or a bigger house than you, no matter where on the social ladder you stand. Constantly chasing perfection will keep you permanently stressed. That doesn't mean you should not try to better your life, just know that if you expect perfection you will never be statisfied.

2. Pay attention to your diet and health. I have been working out at least 4 times per week since my mid 20's. I am fitter, healthier and look younger than almost everyone else my age

3. Don't stop doing the things you love. Even though I have a wife, kids, job etc. I still make time to play video games, draw, write stories, read comics, play basketball, listen to music, etc. There is no reason to become a miserable old bastard! - Denaris21

16.

Calm the f*ck down. Seriously. I panicked my way through my twenties. When sh*t goes wrong, stay calm and think logically.. Act like the person you want to be. - bucketbiff

17.

Save. Your. Money.

I wish I could have back the thousands of dollars I threw in the fire partying at clubs. - Jaruseleh

There is no one-size-fits-all prescription for how to live a meaningful and satisfying.

While none of us can control all of the circumstances thrown our way, and many of the conditions we live under, we can control how we react and adjust along the way. The difficulty often lies in seeing clearly while we're in the middle of a decision, 20/20 hindsight can be a blessing and curse for this reason, which is why absorbing wisdom from people who've been alive longer can be illuminating.

In a recent Reddit thread, people over 60 shared the life advice they've picked up along the way, and the chunks of wisdom they abide by now

1. From rainman904:

I will be 64 tomorrow 7-25-2020. I wish I had saved for retirement.

2. From EveFluff:

I asked my 88 year old grandma this and she said to stop placing value on what other people think of you. Recognize this is your life and get on with it. Do the things you want to do.

3. From decorama:

- Save money early.

- Don't care what other people think.

- Get out of your comfort zone.

- Take care of your body.

4. From MrPrettyKitty:

Relax. This stuff isn’t so serious. I’m 3/4’s done with life, probably 20 more to go. 10 good ones and then it will start to get rough. Don’t chase after things. Be simple. Eat simple. Enjoy life. Stop being critical. Enjoy this brief time.

5. From fishingman:

Pay yourself first no matter what.

Don't do anything too much, smoking, drinking, games, porn, anything in excess will hold you back.

Learn to honestly deal with your emotions.

6. From lsunshine47:

My dad was 51 when he passed away in 2007 of colorectal cancer. He said he had two regrets. One was he should have left his job years ago. He said he was so miserable the last 5 years there. It was wasted time when he could have been doing something he enjoyed. His job was a small family company with whom he worked for 23 years. They treated him like absolute sh*t throughout his cancer ordeal.

Second, was he wanted to ask a woman friend of his out on a date and never got the courage to do it. This was so sad because my dad never went out with anyone when I was growing up. He must have really liked her a lot. He was about to and because he got his cancer diagnosis it was too late.

His words stay with me. I was unhappy with my workplace and finally, after many years will be moving on to a better position in September. Life is really too short.

7. From Carolenej:

I wish I had been kinder to my husband. We bickered about small things that really weren’t important. I wish I could tell him how sorry I am.

8. From arami323:

I asked my 74 year old grandma and she said she should’ve had her husband wear a condom.

9. From sparrowbrown2104:

It took me a long, long time to realize that most people only do and say all the things they say and do to benefit themselves and their family.

10. From shayrul:

I should have made better marriage choices. Don't marry too young, or if you do, just be really really sure that you have the same values and same goals. If one of you doesn't want kids, for instance, that should be a deal-breaker. If one doesn't like sex or intimacy, HUGE DEAL BREAKER. If he/she is a jerk to your friends and family, get out of that relationship. If he/she is never wrong or will never admit it, get out. And stay out of credit card debt.

11. From stevesmele:

Many people view kindness as a weakness. Took me a long time to realize it’s strength.

Be kind whenever possible, and it’s always possible. Dalai Lama.

12. From kimstrongheart:

I'm 62. Do what you want and don't worry about what others think. You want to try that new restaurant but have no one to go with? Go alone and enjoy yourself! Overweight but not swimming because of how you look in a swimsuit? Who cares? Swim your heart out! Mouthing hymns in the church because you sing off-key? Sing loud and make a joyful noise! But most importantly, be kind. Regardless of how anyone treats you or what anyone says, be kind. You can walk away, disagree, and/or not respect someone who doesn't deserve it, but do it kindly. Be argumentative or getting butt hurt or cursing and yelling only serves to make you feel worse later.

13. From Lalllo7:

I wish I’d gone to the Emergency Room that day in 1991 when I had terrible stomach pain. I was a single working mom and didn’t have health insurance, and I was afraid of the bill. I’ve suffered and nearly died a few times because of that bad choice. Worse, my children suffered and still do because of it.

14. From standswithpencil:

My 74-year old mom answered:

"When I was in grad school, a teaching position in photography opened up and I didn't take it. I thought gee I wonder what would have happened? I don't know what it is. I had opportunities here. I just didn't take that one. Out of all of the opportunities that was one that was staying in my area and that one seemed far away. I should have looked at the opportunity differently and researched it out."

15. From Desact:

67 here. I’ve become a contrarian in many regards. Do the opposite of what the crowd does and in many cases (not all) it works out.

Also, take care of your effing ears. I LOVED loud music and pumped it into my ears through headphones for decades. Now I’ve got tinnitus. It’s not awful, but I’m never going to experience pure silence again.

16. From johnnyrip:

Honestly, I am now glad that I lived life fast and hard, I’m paying for it health wise but I had fun and I did more good than harm. The future doesn’t look bright at this moment.

17. From love_that_fishing:

I’d of worked less when the kids were little. I routinely worked 55 hrs a week and we didn’t get overtime. I’ve had a very successful career but you can’t buy that time back with money. I was always trying to prove myself to my dad and took until mid-30s to realize this was my life. I’ve always worked more than I should but when the kids were little I should have had different priorities.

Wish my dad had told me to slow down and enjoy the ride. I’ve told my kids only push that hard for you. Don’t do it for anyone else and I’ll love them no matter what. So far they are all doing well but none are workaholics. Very grateful that stopped with me and I didn’t pass it down. Also, the best way to love your kids is to love your spouse.

18. From optimisticat:

It’s your life, live the life you actually want, not the one you think you are supposed to. Try to be happy in the moment rather than focusing on the future too much. Good choices usually lead to more good choices. Try to make those.

19. From AngelFox1:

My Dad's advice to me...

"Only believe half of what you see, and nothing that you hear."

"Listen to people, don't just hear what they say."

"Tell the truth. It's easier to remember what you said,"

My great grandmother (RIP)

"A shot of whiskey at night is good for the soul. Any more than that and you are dancing with the devil."

My grandmother (RIP), "Just because it looks good doesn't mean you want it."

20. From womperroom:

Go to the dentist at least once a year. Do some sort of exercise a few times a week, just walking is enough. Quit Facebook.

30 years from now you can tell Redditors what you would have done differently.

21. From Ninotchk:

Just because it was your dream job doesn't mean you should stay for emotional abuse.

22. From TheEmpressDodo:

Asked my mom, here’s her advice - stop getting married so young. Live your dreams because it’s harder once you’re married and have a family. You’re dumb through your 20s. 30 and up is marriage time.

And if you don’t like children, don’t have them. The world is messed up enough already.

23. From annemastello:

One of my teachers in highschool said this when she retired - Always make decisions for yourself, what would be best for you. Choosing things according to friends, relationship and family will cost you opportunities and you will have regrets. They may support you for awhile at your low but if your entire life becomes a mess they won't be able to help you.

24. From krakeneverything:

Learn to meditate and attempt to tame your mind as early as possible.

25. From C-Nor:

I wasted too much of my life being critical and angry. I finally decided to spend that energy for good. I learned to look for the good in everybody. It's there! And the anger disappeared. I'm very joyful now.

And when you seek the good in others, (and you'll find it!), they pick up the attitude and do the same. See, one person can make their corner of the world better!

One of the earliest lessons you learn as an adult is that you have regrets. That's a heavy burden. Make whatever atonement you can, then forgive yourself and let it go. Nobody can turn back time and change what happened. Let it go, and step forward into a joyful life.

Well, there's my tale of regrets and choices.

“Nothing will work unless you do.”

- Maya Angelou

Unless you won the lottery or were born with a trust fund, chances are, you've got to work to pay your bills. While it seems like retirement is a world away, you can at least escape for a few minutes with these hilarious workplace memes. They are the best and funniest way to kill time until you can finally clock out.

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They say laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes it's also totally inappropriate.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to share a time when they absolutely positively should NOT have laughed — but they couldn't help it. From church giggles to the divorce misunderstandings, here are some of the best.

1. Boomers have a hard time differentiating the laughing emojis from the crying emojis.

my dad, using 9 "laughing tears" emojis to announce that our family cat whom we love dearly had passed away. - hmssnickers

2. Sounds like an accident-prone family.

When I was a student nurse I was asked to tell a patient that his daughter couldn't come visit him because she fell down the stairs and had broken both her arms. I could barely contain myself, because the patient was there because he had broken both his arms. - bloddymary88

3. Oh noooooo.

I was 18-20 and working at a department store. 3 men walked up to me and struck up a conversation while buying white button up shirts.

Apparently they were buying matching shirts for a wedding. They asked if there was a child’s suit section. One of them added “The best man lost so much weight...” I cut off the sentence with a chuckle, and he finished “that he died.” and looked at me like I was a monster.

They all looked really sad or mad depending on who you looked at. They apparently were going to buy a suit for the son of the deceased that was stepping in for him.

They asked to see my manager and she was really disappointed in me for laughing at a story like that. I did my best to tell her that I had no idea it was something terrible like that and I was just laughing since I thought he lost so much weight he needed a kids suit. She didn’t really buy it and she didn’t respect me after that. - KuromanKuro

4. That's one way to lighten the mood at a funeral.

It happens to me more than I care to admit, but the worst time was at my brother's memorial. An aunt we had, who was a very nice person, had got religion recently and decided to sing a gospel song. The problem was she couldn't sing at all. She got up, with no backing music and sang a really out of tune gospel song. The worst part was she took really long pauses between some of the lyrics, so people started to clap thinking she was done with the song.

She wasn't. This went on for like 5 minutes. She would pause, people would start to slow clap, then she would start caterwauling again. I buried my face in my hands and people sitting behind me started consoling me because they thought I was overcome with emotion, as my shoulders were shaking violently. I did have tears running down my face though.

I still feel very bad about this. - FoxPanda32

5. This was a bold move.

At my Uncle Bill's funeral, my Aunt Mary claimed that she had "cared for him in his darkest times". I let out a solid "HA!". Everyone turned towards me. I finished with an uncontrollable giggle, poorly hidden behind my hand and a wad of tissues. No regrets. RIP Uncle Bill. 12/17/19.

She, in fact, did not care for him in his darkest times. - HotSpinach

6. Boot camp is definitely no laughing matter.

In boot camp, I laughed at another recruit who was getting yelled at, because they were screaming some pretty funny shit at him. Then they turned around to me... - CTHeinz

7. That's pretty good.

In high school we watched a play where a girl dies of a drug overdose. The girl playing the part was way over dramatic, really chewing up the scenery, and when she finally collapsed dead on her bed the theater was dead silent. A special needs kid in the audience yelled out "oh well" and the place exploded with laughter. - hippieflipper808

8. Screaming about not looking a homeless person in the eye seems way worse...

I do the same... one time on a school trip, a homeless man came up to me and was asking me for money, and my teacher shouted out (very loudly, in the middle of one of Paris’s busiest squares) “don’t look him in the eye!” Which made the giggles I was trying to hold in from being so nervous explode out of me. I got a serious telling off (from the same teacher) for “mocking the poor” - dearsweetanon

9. Yikes.

A friend told me her grandma had terminal cancer, just a few minutes prior something funny had happened and it was still in my head. I started laughing about the funny thing, then realized how unbelievably inappropriate it was to be laughing at that moment, which just made me laugh harder. It was a vicious cycle that ended in a lot of apologizing. - millivanillalatte

10. Your dad would've wanted it that way.

Similar thing happened to me. Mom picked me up from school during winter. As I got into the car, she started telling me that my dad had a heart attack. However I began laughing, because someone had drawn a massive dick in the snow on a teacher’s windshield.

It was so detailed that it took genuine talent. My mom thought I was crying, I just pointed to the dick and she started laughing as well... - supertacoboy

11. Uh, wow.

while we were watching a documentary about the KKK in school, and a klan member shows the camera his robes, the class weirdo said, “hey, my dad has that same jersey in his closet!” My friend lost it. I mean, he was wheezing and crying of laughter, but he tried to cover It up by pulling his shirt up. The teacher was so tired of him she didn’t even care, so she tried to ignore it. - spider_rico_is_a_bum

12. It takes some real talent to get in a car crash in a drive-through.

I was in my low teens, maybe 13 or 14, and with my mom in the drive through at taco bell. We had just ordered, and pulled away from the speaker, when mom just.... Rear ends the people in front of us. No real reason other than the fact that mom can't drive [...] So there we are, clogging up the line, mom's doing what she's suppose to, and I don't know how much was embarrassment and how much was the rediculousness and absurdity of it... I MEAN COME ON! REALLY? AT A F****** SNAILS PACE IN THE DRIVE THROUGH, AND ITS NOT LIKE YOU DIDNT F****** SEE THEM!... - reyemanivad

13. We'd watch this movie.

When my uncle died, his casket was being lowered into the ground, and my cousin threw a flower onto the coffin and said 'from Cornwall with love', and I started laughing because it sounded like the worst James Bond film ever. - beardol

14. This is crazy.

I saw a news story about someone walking down the street and found half an arm, hand still attached, on the sidewalk. They picked it up and it was still warm. Contacted police and they said “we’ve been looking for that!”

Apparently someone was riding in a car with their arm out the window.

A random hobo emerges from the brush and cuts off the arm and then throws it somewhere.

Obviously that’s not a laughing matter but the sheer randomness of that happening caused me to laugh in surprise. - Liteboyy

15. There's no coming back from this one.

I work in healthcare. A few years ago I was meeting with a 60-something year-old patient and their family member - both female - who for whatever reason I assumed was her adult daughter since they looked quite alike. We were wrapping up the appointment and were cracking a few light jokes.

Addressing the patient's family member, I said something along the lines of "You must get that from your mother", referring to the patient. The patient cocked her head to one side and firmly stated, "She isn't my daughter, she's my sister." Before I had comprehended the gravity of that statement, I reflexively let out a laugh and smile that insinuated, 'that was a funny joke, you look 30 years older than her!'

They did not smile back. The patient proceeded to explain that the person she brought with her to this appointment was her older sister. However, since this patient did not take care of herself and appeared to be generations older than her healthy older sister, I had made the fatal mistake of assuming it was her adult daughter. Needless to say I didn't exactly bounce back from that one and actually felt quite badly for hurting her feelings. - No-contact-4811

16. Facts.

My daughter’s teacher’s mom died, and the sub had all of the kids make cards and asked me to drop them off, as she lived near me. I was chatting with the teacher as she looked through them and she burst out laughing and handed me one- “Dear Ms Smith, I’m sorry about your mom, but hey, we all gotta go sometime” - sunny-in-phila

17. Oof.

My friend had called me and left a voicemail of my phone. He told me to call ASAP. This was weird because normally he calls me a dick or something on the phone. I end up going to his house since I thought something was wrong. He is sitting there on the chair and his wife was on the couch. He tells me that they are getting a divorce and that they need my help. (I’m an attorney). Well I laugh and say “well it’s about time,” since I thought he was joking. She ends up busting into tears and had me feeling like an a**hole. - bahansen10

Many parents try to set boundaries for what they consider appropriate when it comes to their kids' clothes — but is one dad taking it too far?

The dad took to Reddit to ask for advice after he reamed out his family members because his daughter, 15, wore a bikini on their boat trip.

He says his wife bought the bikini without his knowledge:

My daughter is only 15. She is way too young to be dressing in a two piece, but my wife agreed to let her buy one without my knowledge.

The minute he spotted the bikini, he flipped:

The last time we went to the lake, which was last week, after I had unloaded the boat and we'd started to pull out into the lake my daughter takes off her shirt and shorts and I see the bikini. I stop the boat and ask her and my wife why she is wearing a bikini.

He doesn't care if her friends are wearing them:

They tell me that it's no big deal and that all of her friends wear them so why should she not wear one too. I tell them that she's too young to wear something so revealing and I disapprove. I tell her that either she covers up or I will take the boat back to the ramp, so she agrees, mostly because some of her friends were there and she didn't want to ruin their trip.

His wife and daughter are both angry:

Both my wife and my daughter were angry with me and let me know they thought I was being too strict and needed to get with the times. I told them that I couldn't care less what her friends wear because they are not my daughters. What they wear is irrelevant. That is between them and their parents, and in my opinion there is no reason for a 15-year-old to wear something like this.

He thinks she needs to wear a tankini or one-piece:

I told them both that next time if she did not wear a tankini, one piece or something that covered her up more she would not be coming with us to the lake. She would stay at home or else I would refuse to get the boat out and we would all stay home.

He says he'll let her wear a bikini next year:

I realize that my daughter is getting older, and in another year or so I doubt I would object to a two piece, but that is in another year or so. Right now she is 15, and there's no reason why she needs to show so much of her skin.

[Am I the a-hole] for what I told my wife and daughter and being so anti two piece?

The people of Reddit responded with a resounding "YTA," or "you're the a-hole."

OLIVEmutt says the dad is being too controlling:

Your daughter’s body is her own. There’s nothing inappropriate about a 2 piece bathing suit.

Also I think that it sets a bad precedent for a father to tell his daughter what she can do with her body. She should be comfortable in her skin and she should have bodily autonomy. You can think these rules begin and end with you but they don’t. I wouldn’t want my daughter to go through life thinking men can control her body.

And lightwoodorchestra argues that this dad is sexualizing his daughter:

Dude, this isn't about 'getting with the times' so much as having some basic respect for your daughter as a human being...and not being sexualizing her in a way that is frankly creepy AF. It is her body and there's nothing wrong with a bikini.

And dani4715 says 15 is a totally normal age for wearing a two-piece:

She’s plenty old enough to wear a 2 piece bathing suit. It is JUST a swim suit. No one will have an issue with this except for you.

Nobodiedies8 had a constructive suggestion:

Such restriction will only push your child away

There are plenty of modest two pieces. If a two piece swim suit on a 15 year old seems sexually inappropriate to you, you may actually be the sexually inappropriate one.

You don’t own the women in your life. They are allowed to make their own decisions, even if they go against yours.

They added:

Instead of a hard no, you should opened the floor for discussion - asked your wife and daughter why they thought it was okay, explained your concerns, and allowed each party to address the others concerns. Yeah, your wife shouldn’t have gone behind your back but perhaps she did so out of fear of your reaction. This is another opportunity for discussion.

Museisnotyours pointed out that he shouldn't have put his wife down in front of his daughter, either:

YTA for going against your spouse's parental decision. If you disagree with your wife, talk to her afterwards like a grown adult, not in front of your child and her friends.

And valeriesolanasjr went through every reason why a dad might be peeved about his daughter wearing a bikini, and debunked them all:

YTA for trying to control your daughter's appearance in something as harmless as a bathing suit. Why? Because you dont like it? You're not wearing it. Because other men will objectify/sexualize her? She's not to blame for their lack of decency. Because she's too young? It's not a driver's license, it's an outfit for the beach. You sound controlling and ridiculous. She's your daughter, not your property... you don't own her.

So there you have it, dads of the world. Swimsuits are just swimsuits!

“The future depends on what you do today.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Why not start it off with a laugh? These memes are ridiculously relatable for anyone with a sense of humor.

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