Summer 2020 definitely isn't the same as the Instagram-perfect "hot girl summer" vacation montage that was 2019...
Bars are (mostly) closed unless you're outside and wearing a mask and if you want to see your friends you have to measure out six feet of distance before you start updating them on how you've spent your four months of anxiety-riddled hibernation. While it might feel like the world is in shambles and every time you turn on the news you want to throw your phone into a fire, this is what we have to do to protect ourselves and others! Wear a mask, socially distance, and don't be like "The Chainsmokers."
The Chainsmokers had a “Drive-in” concert in the Hamptons last night...looks like social distancing was strongly enforced 🤦🏻♂️....when NY gets the inevitable spike just blame these rich selfish white people
So, if you're feeling like you no longer know how to engage in a social setting and Zoom parties are your new future, Twitter is here to make you laugh. 2020 won't crush our sense of humor (for now)! Here are the funniest tweets from the end of this hot, sweat-under-your-mask nightmarish July.
While all Uber drivers have their eyes on the road, some also have their ears open and overhear backseat conversations that belong in a confession booth. Drivers shared the juiciest tidbits they've picked up about passengers on the job, and the range from the salacious to the straight-up sad. Open your app because these stories are worth five stars.
1. A classic Florida origin story.
Drove for Lyft (in Denver, CO) between jobs this summer. My third pax ever, and he was going to the airport. He said he was moving to Florida, to get away from it all. But didn't have any luggage, not even a carry-on. I wasn't going to say anything about it, but my curiosity got the best of me.
"So, where's all your luggage? Did you ship everything ahead of time?"
He doesn't say anything right away, and just as I was deciding that perhaps I wasn't going to get an answer...
"Nah, I just had my friend call me a Lyft and he set up my flight. I just escaped from prison but we look so much alike, his ID will work for me to travel."
Took this 19 year old kid and what I assumed was his [girlfriend] back to her house on pride weekend in SF. They made out the whole ride. When I dropped them off, only she got out. He said "Take me to Castro and 18th." I said "Really?" and he said "Yeah, I only make out with girls when I'm rolling." Never a dull moment in San Francisco.-jesseholm
3. Oh, young love.
I picked up this young overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute. So I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my text fare. I hear a cellphone ring in my backseat, realize it's my previous ride's, and pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I'll come back to drop it off. Turns out it was the guys wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress. -YetiPie
4. No thank you.
Once I had an extremely drunk middle-age couple fight for an entire 30-minute ride. They attempted to bring me into their fight many times. I just pretended like I was deaf and didn't answer when they tried to rope me into it. -timothy_jmiller
5. Should have driven them to the police station.
Two 40 something guys who I picked up from a bar were talking on a phone (speaker) and they were trying to make plans with a third guy who was at a party with a bunch of drunk 12 graders (exact words). One guy in my car asked if there was anyone younger there, other dude said "dude really?", Followed by silence, then he said "f*cking sweet." Not sure as there was missing context but it sounded like there was younger teenagers there already drunk and these older dudes were going to pick up. -Wiltron
6. A toast to the groom.
Two dudes discussing how much fun they had at one of theirs bachelor party. The fun consisted of "the most cocaine I've ever done" and " I can't believe I f*cked a prostitute right before I got married." -schoolsbelly
7. A very active imagination.
Drove UBER one night... it was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a strip club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare I was happy to drive that far. ($80-100) It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car and they seemed cool so I wasn't worried.
As soon as we got on the freeway the guy in the passenger seat started asking about UBER driving and things got dark. After a few minutes he started saying shit like "what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median" and "have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?" I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc, but the one guy just kept at it.
I was happy to get to the strip club and get them the hell out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove UBER again. F*ck that. -asudan30
8. Clicks "add stop."
My husband had a couple that broke up in the backseat of his car while driving for Uber. The woman made fun of her boyfriend's ex, and was talking about how she had bad teeth. The boyfriend said her teeth were fine and that she was being really judgey. She then asked him if he was still in love with his ex. He thought for a moment, said yes, and she started crying. There was some kind of confusion about where to get dropped off since she just wanted to go home and he wanted to go somewhere the opposite direction. Super awkward for my husband! -koryisma
9. An uncomfortable ride for both of them.
I picked up this one guy who told me all about his anal warts. Apparently, they were simply huge. -Diarrhea_Jonez
10. Girls Night Out, emphasis on the out.
Picked up 2 girls at a bar, they were part of a girls night out (someone's birthday).... they each call their boyfriends/husbands to tell them they were on the way home. For the next 30 minutes, they made out. -Frankboombatz
11. Whatever gets the heart rate up.
On Halloween last year I was driving a bunch of meat head frat boys downtown so they could get wasted and they were talking about the gym and one of them said, "I don't need to do cardio, I do cocaine." Not really an earth shattering secret, I just thought it was hilarious. -frugalrhombus
12. It burns!
One time three people. (2 girls one guy) were talking about using candles during sex on each other. That was interesting. -moosehunter47
13. I ain't saying she's a gravedigger...
A woman was in my backseat crying on the phone to her brother about her drug addicted daughter that has ruined her life. Her daughter had stolen her grandmothers diamond bracelet from her coffin. Also, the woman was on her way to home to deal with her daughter who had just thrown their family safe down a flight of stairs in attempts of opening it. -Unadvisedd
14. As dark as it gets.
I had a guy tell me how his brother died, and it was ultimately his fault but everyone thought it was an accident. He moved from Russia to the US and doesn't talk to any of his family anymore.
(He was a teenager and thought a pistol was unloaded but it wasn't. He made it look like his brother shot himself. At least that's what he told me.) -NMDAstronaut
15. A deep and devastating secret.
Former Uber driver here. Picked up a sweet girl from a bar on a Wednesday night - absolutely hammered, about 10pm. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while, with the windows down.
I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box, but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, yeah - I guess so.
That's when she told me that she had cancer. It was in her brain and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying and she was going to be okay. Tonight she was celebrating with her work friends who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad.
"I just didn't tell them that abroad was heaven."
Jesus. F*cking. Christ. I turned off my app and cried my ass all the way home. -westport76
No amount of parenting books or childhood development classes can truly prepare you for what it means to raise a child. Every kid presents their own challenges, and every household is going to provide a completely different atmosphere for all of the shenanigans of raising kids.
Still, even with this knowledge, there are moments of unpredictable chaos that leave parents deeply confused and deliriously laughing at what their life has become. And while parenting itself can feel isolating inside the home, social media has made these moments far less lonely, and spread amusement and solidarity among parents across the world.
These are just a handful of tweets from parents who openly admit they had no idea what they were getting into when they popped out a small human.
1.
Parenting books never prepared me for how much time I’d spend arguing for kids to get into and then out of the shower.
My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.
Walked into the livingroom & I could smell a fart. I asked who did it & my 9yr old son said it was him. My 4yr old son said he did it & now he's crying cause his big brother took the credit. You don't read about this shit in parenting books.
My husband went to Costco yesterday and bought like 8 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios and I predict we have two hours until the kids decide they don’t like Honey Nut Cheerios anymore.
My 3yo keeps telling me to lie down and rest and as soon as I close my eyes, she pounces on me to get me to wake up and then laughs maniacally and all I’m saying is it would’ve been nice if the parenting books hadn’t left out this “Help! I think my child is a sadist” stage.
My two kids are locked in some kind of competition for views on their YouTube channels (!!), and now they’re each lobbying me for a shout-out on Twitter.
As a basic rule to live by: if you're going to propose to your lover, you probably shouldn't do it at someone else's wedding. Even if love is in the air and the whole family is there and you're drinking champagne on someone else's dime. With a few exceptions (explicit permission and support of the bride & groom), t's just not the time. Even in 2020 when the world is in chaos and the wedding is taking place over Zoom. Yes, even then.
A woman took to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" forum to ask if she was wrong to kick her cousin out of her older sister's Zoom wedding when he tried to propose to his girlfriend during the wedding.
My [27M] older sister [30F] and her fiancé [31M] were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously, they can’t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a “Zoom” wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fiancé.
My sister didn’t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted.
The sister had asked that everyone be muted during her wedding, so no one tried to "overshadow" her and her fiancé on their "already scaled down" wedding day. Fair!
She and her fiancé decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fiancé and quote “overshadow” them on their big day “that was already scaled down”. However, her and her fiancé said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other.
After the ceremony, the woman, who was in charge of the Zoom call, unmuted everyone so that guests could raise their hands if they wanted to say something to the newly-married couple. This is when her cousin took the spotlight and pulled out a ring box.
Fast-forward to the day of the wedding—everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask to please raise a hand if they’d like to talk so it doesn’t get confusing. My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he’s with his longtime girlfriend (also similar age I guess). He’s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like “(my sister) and (her husband) are such an inspiration, it’s given me the courage to do this....” then turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box??
She says her cousin has a history of trying to "steal the spotlight." So she immediately took action and booted him off the call, telling everyone else it was due to "technical difficulties."
I immediately saw this as him trying to steal the spotlight (something that he’s done since we were kids, ex: he would secretly mess up my sister and I’s drawings if the adults would praise ours) and booted him off of the call. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too.
The rest of the wedding proceeded "smoothly" except that the cousin, and his parents, were furious, and accused the woman of "ruining" his surprise proposal.
The rest of the wedding went smoothly—except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same. AITA??
So she asked: "Am I The A**hole?"
Commenters weighed in.
The verdict? Not only is she not an a**hole. She's a hero.
Holy cow yes NTA! Terrific job. It might be awkward saying “I kicked them off my wedding because he was gonna propose” because then that’s like “outing” a proposal or “ruining a surprise.” Doesn’t matter, NTA and you’re a hero. If that couple ever gets engaged, maybe then you discretely tell the story of how you kicked them off the Zoom.
And most people are calling the cousin the a**hole for trying to hijack someone else's wedding and make it about him.
NTA!!! THANK GOD YOU DID THAT! Your cousin has issues, who would propose at another persons wedding? that’s the definition of overshadowing that your sis didn’t want. If I were your sister, I wouldn’t even know how to thank you.
Your cousin is an attention*ore that deserved to be kicked out. So INAPPROPRIATE to take away from your sisters big day, ESPCIALLY since it's already small since a pandemic.
NTA. That was probably the best unintended outcome of the wedding being virtual! Imagine if it had been in person - you’d have had to tackle his dumb ass, lol. Good for you!!
I’m sure it’s annoying that you have to deal with his texts and those of his obviously biased parents. But just be thankful that you’re not posting on here “aita for not stopping my cousin’s proposal at my sister’s wedding?”
Isn't it beautiful when a group of strangers on the internet can all come together in holy agreement that a total stranger is an utter piece of sh*t?! Ahh, love is truly all around us.
While it's normal for parents to be proud of their children, some parents forget that not everyone is as impressed with their kids as they are...
Kids are often adorable, funny, and inspiring to be around! Even people who don't want to have children of their own can be charmed by a particularly endearing niece or nephew. Still, it's difficult to watch a parent (especially when they're a family member) refuse to discipline their children or teach them manners. Children that can't be around adults without breaking valuable items, causing a scene, or screaming about something not going their way are never invited back to the holidays.
So, when a recent Reddit user asked "Am I the As*hole?" about a conflict she got into about her cousin's children, people were ready to deem a moral verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole?) For telling my cousin that her kids are not special?
I (F35) don't like kids and never want any. My cousin (F32) has 5. She dropped out of college and had her first kid at 20, and her youngest at 28. She just cannot wrap her head around why I never want kids and is always asking when I plan to get married and pregnant. I've told her several times that while both my partner and I plan to marry in a the future, neither of us wants kids. She always brushes it aside with "oh you'll change your mind". I'd avoid this person completely, but I do run into her when I visit my grandfather.
Cousin also has this annoying habit of getting me to spend time with her kids to get me to see how great kids are. Now I have nothing against her kids, but they can be a bit rambunctious at times and I just don't want to have to spend time with them. They're kids, I never really know what to say to them.
Cousin also refuses to discipline them and lets them run wild, even in my grandfather's house. According to her, these kids are angels and can do no wrong and when they knock over my grandfather's stuff or make noise when he's trying to sleep, it's "adorable". The other day, she again tried to convince me to change my mind about kids with "look how special and magical they are. Don't you want one?" That was when one of her boys ran straight into the antique Grandfather's clock. It wobbled but thankfully didn't topple over. She seemed unfazed by this. I got really annoyed and told her "no, your kids aren't special. They're as annoying and as unremarkable as you are." Cousin started to cry and went to my grandfather to complain to him like she was 5 years old. I felt no need to apologize and left.
Later that day, grandpa called me and told me he understood why I said what I had said but that I was a bit too harsh.
What does Reddit think? Am I the as*hole?
Wow, a lot to unpack here. Luckily, people were ready to help:
shes a grown woman who wont respect your decisions. If you said that to one of her kids, then you would be an asshole. Grown woman who wont respect boundries gets what she gets - stirrrupp
If Grandpa understands, I think you’re good. Was it a little harsh? Sure. But harshness wasn’t exactly unwarranted. She has been disrespectful towards you and your very personal decision (which is none of her business), allows her kids to be disrespectful in other people’s homes, and flatly ignores their poor behavior. Someone had to tell her truth. - holyylemons
The “as unremarkable as you are” bit of your comment was just a mean jab that tipped the scale from NTA to ESH. You should probably apologize. Then tell her you would like her to stop insinuating that you will one day like/want children because even if you did change your mind someday (not saying you will/would), it is none of her business and it is extremely rude of her to continue to push the issue with you or anyone else! - Katarams
She needs to mind her own business and discipline her kids. - I_love_me39
God I hate parents who act like their kids are god's gift to humanity. It's a good thing you told her off. - asianinindia
As someone who also doesn't want kids, believe me when I say I understand how annoying and rude it is when someone will not stop pestering you about your choice. And especially when they keep presenting their own children as a reason why you should change your mind - somehow the people who do this the most usually seem to have the worst behaved children.
But even though she's dragging her kids into it, it's still not okay to stoop to her level and insult them to hurt her. Say what you want about her, but leave the kids out of it, even if she doesn't. - RedoubtableSouth
As a fellow child-free woman in her 30s, I find this pretty funny. NTA (Not the As*hole). She badgers you despite you insistence that she stop, and the kids are clearly brats. - beattijean2
So, there you have it!
Most people agreed that this cousin has been consistently out of line by pressuring her cousin to have children, and sometimes parents do need a reality check about the fact that not everyone is as enamored with their children as they are. Still, the general opinion is that she didn't have to be as brutal as she was.
Later, she edited the post:
EDIT : This is the update.
Today, in the late afternoon, my grandfather invited me and my cousin to his place to talk and clear the air. As a peace offering, I baked a chocolate cake for her kids that I know they love. When she arrived, we both sat down with my grandfather in the study.
I began the conversation by telling her I was sorry and that I did not mean what I had said. That I have nothing against her kids and I said what I said in a moment of anger. She accepted my apology, but then told me something I had not expected. She said she has always had a feeling that I look down on her because she did not finish her tertiary education and has no career. I tried to tell her that that wasn't true, but she cut me off. She reminded me of all the times I had invited other siblings and cousins to my place for parties etc, but never her. I tried to tell her it was because I had more in common with them. But she kept talking over me.
Then she decided to bring up something that had happened over 13 years ago. You see, her husband and I went to the same college and had a class together. He and I dated for like a month before I broke it off. He tried to convince me to get back together but I refused. He had already met my cousin a few times and decided to date her to make me jealous. It didn't work and a few months later, she became pregnant and our family practically forced him to marry her.
How did she know all of this? He told her. My cousin's husband had cheated on her a few years ago and one day during a fight, he told her since he couldn't have me, he had to settle for her. The SOB went on to tell her all about his plans to get me back by dating her. This must've crushed her. Now that I think about it, it was around the same time (4 years ago), that she began pressuring me to marry and have kids. Her behavior and her reaction makes sense now. She then looked at my chocolate cake and confessed that she has been throwing away all the cookies, cakes etc I made for her kids, because her oldest had once told her that my cakes are so much better than hers. She couldn't bear to hear her own kids praise my cooking over hers. She feels like she's inferior to me in every respect.
I was at a loss. My grandfather then interjected and told cousin that her life or the way her husband treats her is not my fault and that she should at least seek therapy. She began to cry. I felt even worse. I don't blame myself at all for her woes but I just have no idea how to help her. I asked if she wanted me to take the cake back or if she wanted to give it to her kids. She took it with a "thank you". She then said she had to go home because she had to make dinner. I had to go home too, but my grandfather and I have agreed to discuss this at length soon. When her husband cheated, some of our relatives tired to get her to leave, but she says she doesn't want to break their family.
No matter how tough you are or how thick your skin, restaurant work has a way of pushing you to the breaking point, and beyond. This former waitress/barista can confirm. And big chain restaurants are particularly notorious for devaluing, underpaying and exploiting their workers. Friendly reminder to tip and tip WELL whenever possible, whether you're at a local hole-in-the-wall or a TGIFridays.
Someone asked Reddit: "people who have worked at chain restaurants (Fridays, Red Lobster, etc). What’s your 'F*ck this I’m out' story?" These 19 people share the moments they were pushed too far and realized they had to GTFO:
worked for a franchise Qdoba for 4 months as a manager - good food, worked with good people, nothing about how the day to day op ran was bad, except how cash was handled.
Deposits were kept in the safe, and would be periodically taken to the bank, deposit slips logged etc.
as i was starting training, a deposit went missing. the two managers that had access to it were held accountable, and had their pay docked to offset the lost deposit - no police report filed, no one fired, no procedures changed to prevent it from happening again.
3.5 months later, a deposit goes missing again, from a weekend i had time off. Franchise owner pulled the same shit, held the overlapping managers responsible for the missing money, docked their pay, no police report.
at that point i dug in to who had been taking the deposits to the bank when they were discovered missing. The franchise owner on both accounts, who was also docking pay as a penalty for the "lost" money.
within a week, i was ready to nope the f*ck out at the end of my shift, left backdated letter of resignation, and have copies of all deposits from shifts i had worked so the franchisee couldnt pull a "missing" deposit on me after the fact.
I worked at KFC when I was 17. I was terrorized by the cook, who used to display his crush on me by dangling raw gizzards threateningly over my face. The floor of the kitchen was always lathered thickly with grease, and a couple of times I slipped and nearly put my hand in the fryer by accident. But that wasn't why I quit.
I worked mother's day, which is a big day for restaurants apparently. Every other employee had called in sick, etc., so it was just me, our store manager, and the district manager, working the restaurant. We do the lunch shift, which was crazy, but managed. However, the a/c went out, and it was super hot for May.
After the lunch rush, the mgrs went back to the office which is the only place the a/c was working, and left me to do the cleanup and prep before supper rush. I was overheated and feeling sick. I went back to the office and told them I was getting overheated and needed some fresh (cool) air, but they told me to get back to cleaning. I started getting nauseous and told them I was going outside to take a break, either with or without their permission. The district manager's face broke into a condescending little smile and told me he knew I wasn't going to just walk out. We all know how this ends. Even at 17, I had enough self-respect to leave those f*ckers in the dust.
That was the first job I ever quit, which makes it kinda special in my heart.
3.) From [deleted]:
I worked at Chuck E. Cheese's. I was in the mouse suit taking pictures for 3 separate birthday parties. I passed out in the suit on top of the children. Kids were crying and screaming "Chuckie's dead!!!!!".
My coworker dragged me to the backroom by my ankles, then took my head off. I got out of the suit and cooled down, drank some water and was feeling a little better. Then my manager goes, "So, you ready to get back in the suit?" Absolutely f*cking not. Quit on the spot.
I was a carhop. My first job. I was a good worker, on time, friendly, fast, customers liked me, and everything was generally okay. I had some issues with their ordering system since the button panel they had was outdated and had some things that were illogical on it, but I did my best and never got anyone's order wrong.
And then came the lunch rush. The lunch rush was always busy so we would all hurry to take orders out as soon as possible. There was a wristband scan-in system for employees to accept an order, take the receipt and put it in a tray and then scan again to take the food out and associate that dollar amount with your employee (since if they paid with cash then you'd owe that to the company).
Sonic has a countdown on every order for how fast it needs to go out since they have a corporate policy for how long it should take. I believe restaurants are penalized if they have slow service and don't meet their guaranteed order times. So my manager decided, hey, instead of actually waiting for each employee to scan in and take their orders, she should just take my band and have everyone pay me back.
The first few times it worked okay, but I realized I was coming up short and being forced to pay out of my own tips, so I was barely making anything. I tried to even out with everyone but nobody had any record of what orders they took out...
Then, one day, I came up negative by a large margin. My manager refused to admit that this was her fault and her problem. I didn't have enough tips to cover it all and nobody would cough up the money they owed me. They all gave me the cold shoulder and pretended to act busy. I told my manager what I still owed, that I would bring it back as soon as I could, and I walked out.
I couldn't afford to keep driving over there and wasting my time to deal with their negligence and bad practices. They also wouldn't let you accurately report your tips (since they're supposed to pay the extra up to minimum wage if you don't make enough in tips), so on these days that I had to use my tip money to cover it I was making lower than minimum wage.
I was young and dumb and just wanted out. If it hadn't been my first job and I had known better I would've taken it right up to corporate and hopefully get it all lined out. Now I know better, know that I can stand up for myself.
pizza hut - it was ok at first until they hired a newly minted 23 year old MBA manager who acted like a guard at a prison camp.
messed with the breaks, water, scheduling and had general contempt for us.
There was a huge local event going on and I was scheduled to work and someone had called out and the line was out the door. I show up and he starts going off on me about the other staff and tells me "You're luck you showed up on time else I would have fired you on the spot."
I was like "ok".. and stared at him..
"you can't take any breaks today because we're so busy and you'll have to work a double..."
i worked at chilis. they would drastically cut my hours when they hired a new host, and then suddenly work me until i was exhausted because the newbie quit. this was an every other week thing. my paychecks would go from $30 to $250, and eventually I left after I pulled a double shift when a newbie quit, and then got no hours for 4 days.
7.) From [deleted]:
Fake Italian eatery with Mario in the name. My brother had just started working there after changing from a bar. He was trying to be a bartender but was told he had to go through 6 week's training, 3 as a host and 3 as a server. At this point he had been a bartender for about 3 years. He was annoyed but did it without much issue as it was a new job. A couple weeks in he is hosting and some people come to the door. He was carrying a stack of about 20 plates and told them he would be right there. He seated them and that was that. Well the manager thought my brother took too long and told him that anytime a customer comes in you drop what your doing and assist them. This manager was barely 18 and was talking to my brother like he was an idiot. Well about 30 minutes later a group of four comes in. My brother picks up a stack of plates and walks to the door. As he walks by them he drops about 10 plates on the floor. After they shatter he just smiles at the group and asks them if they would like a booth, all while standing on the plates. He left shortly after
Does Starbucks count? I was working at a very busy location in Dallas that consistently hit our goals and was a great producer for the district. Because of this, the assistant manager of the store was offered her own store at the Galleria up the road (rather the Galleria North, attached to a Crate and Barrel). I was one of the shift leads close to her and so she offered me a raise to join her at the new store.
A few months later, the shaky crew we had at that point started to quit for one reason or another - leaving me, my manager, a part timer and a mentally handicapped full-timer. This store was insanely busy in the mornings and even more so when the soccer moms coasted during the day and on the weekends. Not long after the foot traffic increased, my manager quit... leaving me to wait for her replacement. See, Starbucks at that time - possibly only in our market - was going through a corporate reorganization. They wanted drink turnarounds to function more like fast food - so they hired fast food managers. My new manager had been a manager at Wendy's for a while and apparently had it in mind to run this place like she ran Wendys. She was an awful woman, mean, stupid as a hitching post and probably took 30 smoke breaks every hour.
Fast forward to a few weeks after she'd started - she'd run off the last two people I worked with. Rather than come in to help me, she scheduled me alone on a Saturday morning (one of our busiest times) until (6am) to (6pm) with no one else on the schedule. I was to run the bar and the register for one of the highest volume stores in Dallas with no help. After asking her if she'd be able to help me or get a floater to help, she told me to tough it out and it would be fine.
I no-called/no-showed, effectively quitting and ignoring the 30 voicemails she left on my phone asking where the hell I was.
Steak N Shake, I worked for this place for three years split between two locations.
I did just about everything in the kitchen, and often worked the overnight shifts. I was pretty confident with everything, but I reached a point where they told me they "couldn't" raise my pay any more without promoting me. So I went for a promotion to a training position.
Well, to be promoted to training, you had to attend a class, which management had to sign you up for. Except management kept forgetting to do it. Three times. And then I eventually learn that being a trainer only comes with a $0.50 raise, and only for when you're actually training somebody... which you can only do for three hours a day maximum.
Decided I'm done bending over backwards just to get the runaround from the f*ckers. And when I quit, they had the nerve to tell me that they were marking me as a do-not-rehire, and that I ruined my chances of advancement.
Spring Creek Barbecue....I was a busboy at a barbecue place. Awful experience. Anyways, 16yo me had been working there part-time for a little over a month. We had Managers then one step below was a Shift Manager. This particular night was New Year's Eve night so it's super busy of course, I was scrubbing baked on cheese from mac'n'cheese trays, caked on barbecue sauce off of other trays... and while I'm scrubbing, our Shift Manager (about 20yo) decides in his down time he would ball up the leftover raw dough from the rolls and throw it at the back door as hard as he can for god knows why. Well of course the back door is right behind me at the scrubbing station. He throws one and it goes whizzing past my head. I look at him and tell him that's too close and to not throw it while I'm standing there. He laughs it off and goes about his way. Well about 5 minutes later I'm scrubbing and all of the sudden there's a loud smack and an intense sting on my leg. I look down and see splattered raw dough, look up at him and he's laughing saying, "oh sorry dude I didn't mean that" I quietly peel dough off my work clothes and grab a tub to clean off some tables. I come back and ask to switch spots with a fellow busboy to wash plates and silverware. We switch, NP. So now I'm going about my way, washing plates.. and all of the sudden the door swings open and in walks my manager (~35yo M) FUMING. He starts SCREAMING at me asking why there's not enough silverware washed, "What the F*CK are you doing back here." etc. He must've told ppl he was going to yell at me because he had about 4-5 ppl behind him watching all with a shit eating grin on their faces. He was red-faced, spitting, completely going over the top and showing off his authority. He physically moved me back to scrubbing station and told me not to come out of the back for the rest of the night. So 16 yo me, feeling completely belittled bc not even my parents yelled at me the way he did, goes back to scrubbing when all of the sudden theres another loud "SMACK!" and sting this time on my arm. I look up and the shift manager was standing there smiling. Now I've had it... I took all the clean pots and pans out of the sink and threw them on the ground, let out all the washing water (which took a good 20 mins to fill the sink again) walked over to the raw dough, took a ball and threw it as hard as I can (former hs football quarterback: humble brag lol) at the shift manager from about 10ft away and hit him square in the stomach with it. Took off my apron, told one meat cutter I'm out, and walked out. The best part was the other busboy followed me out bc he had been thinking about doing the same for weeks. The rest of the NYE shift they had zero busboys, so the managers/shift managers had to do our work the rest of the night. To this day I have absolutely no remorse for walking out and never going back.
TLDR: was a busboy that got my ass kicked by raw dough, and verbally abused by ppl who loved having authority. So I walked out and let them do my grunt work.
My first full-time job out of high school was working graveyard shift at a Denny's.
A new line dancing / cowboy bar opened literally around the corner, and they didn't have any extra staff on hand for the overflow into our shitty little diner. One cook, one manager, myself and one other waitron.
We proceed to have a line out the door and every table full of grousing, grumbling, drunken suburban cowpersons. We're sprinting for drinks, orders, trying to run register, busing our own tables. The manager is pinned in the kitchen trying to make food happen.
The other waitron, she finally snaps. She's too stressed out. She heads to the kitchen 'to help cook' and will not return to the FOH.
Cue the dramatic music. I ran the entire FOH by myself for a f*cking hour. Doing a piss-poor job, mind you. No man can run fifty tables, register, seat, and bus at the same time.
So I walk back to the kitchen and stare through the window at my manager, the cook, and the other waitron. "Any of you coming out here to help me?"
Three heads shake.
"Cool. Figure it out yourselves, then." I wad up my apron, take off my corporate-issued tie, and walk straight out the front door, with a couple hundred faux-cowpokes staring.
I was working PT at an Olive Garden for the extra cash. Not that there was much of it as one of my shifts was Monday. No business, and they used it as a training day for new hires.
No daytime bartender, so I had to start my shift by cleaning up the mess made during the day. this particular day someone had dumped a full container of strawberry daiquiri mix all of the floor and left it there. I walked in to start my shift, found that and six to go orders waiting for me, with the hostess breathing down my neck about the to-gos.
I decided that I could either listen to this twit scream at me, mop the floors, clean all the glasses, wipe all the counter tops, and stock everything for probably $10 in tips, or I could say f*ck this and go home.
I walked in the back, told the manager on duty I was done and punched out. He told me if I left like this I'd never be rehired. "I'll try to get over that" I said on my way home.
Taco Bell- I worked for a hormonal molotov cocktail of a manager who would, out of nowhere, have these massive screaming outbursts of rage. She also enjoyed mind games. One of these was to hire an outsider on as a new assistant manager, always a young woman. She'd train her, be sweet as pie, and act as her new best friend. Once she lost interest in her new AM she'd start nitpicking, then work her way up to straight out bullying, culminating in finally firing the AM. The girls were completely destroyed by the end. And god forbid anyone ever wear blue eyeshadow. She hated blue eyeshadow, and would go on rants about how trashy women looked in blue eyeshadow if any of us came in wearing it. Horrible woman. There were tons of complaints about her, but she presented well to the higher ups, and she was f*cking the regional manager, so nothing ever came of the complaints.
Another of her games was to mess with the weekly schedule. She'd pick a target and start moving their hours forward, usually the day before their next shift, and not notify them. The next day the employee would be late, and then she'd berate them for it and write them up. People started taking to calling in the evening before their next shift to check if their hours had been altered, so she started locking the schedule in her office. Eventually it was my turn. I was already pissed off about spending the previous year often being told I had to run both the walk in and drive through registers simultaneously, including during the dinner and lunch rushes, while rushing to do the prep work between orders, keeping the dining room clean, and sometimes making the food as well when the cooks decided to go on break en masse, and then getting a five cent raise because I was not, in her opinion, a team player. So when my shift leader called me very early on a saturday morning to tell me that I was scheduled to help open (um no, I was scheduled for 2pm) and that I was already an hour late. So I grabbed my uniform, drove to the store, walked up to the counter, and threw my unwashed uniform on it. Told my shift leader that I was sick of Manager's bullshit and I was done. Never went back. Found out the next tax season that Manager lied to corporate and told them that she didn't have any address for me so that they wouldn't be able to send me my W-2s.
Four years later, Manager came into the funeral home I was working at to arrange services for her mother. I had the embalmer use blue eyeshadow on her.
I worked at Red Lobster. I was transferring from one store to another. My last day at the one store, a table walks in around 15 minutes before closing. It was a fairly large table (maybe 8-10) people. I had one of the large tables, but it was already sat. There was an open large table, but the server whose section it was in was already cut for the night.
Normally, the procedure is to sit the table there, and have another server wait on them "outside of their section". Instead, the manager made the table wait until my table was done to sit them there (which was almost an hour, in an fairly empty restaurant).
So I thought to myself "so much for transferring" and told the manager I'm out. I guess he realized that if he fired me, it would go to the district manager, and they'd ask why he made the group wait, and he ended up getting somebody else to take it.
A few years later, at the new store, I had put in my notice. I'm such a nice guy, I gave them a month instead of two weeks. Three weeks in, they pull that same shit, and I just said this is going to be my last day. Technically, I'm on file with them as "no rehire" because I "only" gave them three weeks.
I worked at good old TGIF for two years, during my sophomore and junior year of college. Now this place, holds a special place in my heart. From roaches coming out of the soda machine to having a part of kids run out on a $200 bill. However, the reason why I quit just shows how little management actually cares in these places. One night I had been 'cut' ( restaurant lingo that means you can go home) when a party of 27 walks in. My manager basically told the host I would be taking them as I was the only server who could handle a party this big on my own. So already, i'm p.o'ed about the fact that I was about to leave and now I have a huge party for myself. The party sits and immediately one man orders a round of patron shots for the table. Then another, all while other people are getting mixed drinks as well. As I'm rushing around trying to handle 27 different drinks, they all decide they want entrees. During this whole ordeal, multiple men made comments about my body, and a few were telling me they could be my 'sugar daddy' if I wanted. When they finally, FINALLY, decide to leave around midnight, their total bill was well over $600. As the main guy was counting out his cash, he pulled a bag of cocaine out of his pocket and put it in my face, saying he could change my world. This is when multiple men started to surround me, all while i'm looking around for my manager for any type of help. After politely declining multiple times, they decided to leave. The minute they walked out I marched over to my manager and told him to call the cops, to which he refused. I explained everything and he still would not phone the police. Defeated and exhausted, I went to count the money...I got a $7 tip on this bill. Fuming I went back to my manager, in tears, and expressed my frustrations. He said there was nothing he could do, and so I quit. I told him I wouldn't be showing up for the rest of my shifts.
Lo and behold, the next day when I don't show up, THAT SAME MANAGER messages me over SNAPCHAT how horrible of a server I was, what a disappointment I was, and how I was going to fail in my life.Needless to say I took screenshots and sent them to corporate, but nothing ever came from it. After I blocked him, and everyone else from that place, I never looked back.
I quit working at McDonald's the day my manager insisted that we just "squeeze some extra fat" out of the regular quarter pounder patties when we ran out of the McLean patties, which were supposed to be 91% fat free.
I got called in on a Saturday because the bus boy didn't show up that morning. They had been stacking bus trays for several hours. I got started on the 19 bus trays. I had about 7 done when the manager told me to go clean the glass on the front doors. More bus trays are stacking up. I got back to the bus trays and knocked out another eight or so and the manager told me to go police the parking lot (pick up trash). I walked out in the parking lot and kept on walking until I got home.
As a server there's only so many nights where you can take a $128 table and only get 3 dollars tip or get skimped out on entirely.
One night in particular I'll never forget was this one table of these normal middle aged folks, one of which was celebrating a birthday. One of the other guys pulled me aside and asked me to bring out a dessert and sing this lady happy birthday with the noisemakers and Mexican sombrero and everything (guess what kind of restaurant I worked in). The guy said something along the lines of, "She won't like it, but it'll be funny! Do it! We will take care of you."
So we brought out the squad and sang her happy bday and put a little cake on her nose like we do with everyone and we even gave her a free B-day shot. The lady was f*cking pissed. She made a really evil glare towards me and I defended myself by saying, "your friends made me do it" and laughed. Of course, they were laughing and telling me thanks.
The bill comes and SHE is the one paying for it. It was quite expensive, but we didn't charge her for the dessert or the shot. It was a credit card and I believe she left me 1 dollar on a $60 tab. I'm pretty sure that was my breaking point.
I worked at a Beef O' Brady's in a small town while I was in college. Owners were complete assholes that would berate anyone who messed up in front of the whole kitchen. They were over-bearing Christian types who loved to hire prescription drug abusers in attempt to convert them or something.
One night they were preaching to an idiot and I started laughing. The owner took offense to this (I was laughing at how he worded something, not what he actual said) and started cutting my hours and giving them to said idiot. What they didn't realize is that their berating had no effect on me and I would constantly take the blame for the idiots around me because it was quicker to ignore them and let the idiots continue working than bring the kitchen to a halt with their tantrum.
This meant that I wasn't there but the idiots were and they quickly realized that it wasn't me who caused many of the errors they likely talked shit behind my back about to probably anyone who would listen.
They ended up cutting my entire week out and only trying to work me nights on my weekends, so I told them to stuff it. A week later I get a call that the GM walked out and the kitchen was in shambles, that they needed my help and would give me a raise.
My last words were, "If Jesus existed he would probably think you and your family are a bunch of spoiled assholes. Lose my number."
There are a lot of nutty professors out there...not just Eddie Murphy and Jerry Lewis. Behind the tweed jackets and elbow pads are brilliant minds, quirky mannerisms, and tumultuous personal lives.
People reminisced about their college days and shared the funniest, most awkward moments that went down when professors were lecturing during lecture. These alumni may or may not remember the professor's research, but they certainly remember their mannerisms.
1. Quite the striptease.
I had a history professor who used to come into the class in a full three-piece-suit. During the first five minutes of class he would proceed (while lecturing) to remove his tie, suit jacket, vest, dress shirt, and belt. He would then finish the lecture in an undershirt and dress pants. Why he did this I will never know but it was every day without fail. Super awkward to be lecturing about the holocaust while undoing the buttons of your shirt, dude. -calj13
To make this story even better, Sohailk commented, "Wetzel? he was the best teacher i had in college."
calj13 responded: "Hahaha yes it was Wetzel!!! I see you're a Berkeley guy yourself. History of the Third Reich, Cal 2009. Good times."
2. Not the kind of papers a professor wants to grade.
Had a prof get served divorce papers in class. He said "excuse me one moment" and walked behind a small partition. A small boat of sailors could not curse the way he cursed out his soon to be ex-wife. After about 2 minutes, he walked out from behind the partition and went right back to the lecture. -Knotwood
3. Good gesture, bad timing.
[Professor] said "ORGASM" incredibly loudly, and then went on with his lecture. Backstory was, in a previous paper for the class, I had gone into detail on some point or another, and had ended with something like, "I would have brought this up during the discussion, but I didn't want to be the first person to say 'orgasm' in class." -
Only problem was, I missed the class he said it in. So instead of me laughing hysterically and explaining the whole mess, everyone just stared in confused silence and I got to hear about it from a friend later. Poor professor. -jtherion
4. Have your cake and cry in it, too.
In my Spanish class a few years ago, if anybody's cell phone went off during class, they had to bring in a cake the next class period for everyone as some sort of punishment. Well, one day our professor's phone went off and she actually answered it in the middle of the lecture and proceeded to have a full-on fight with, apparently, her boyfriend, in front of the entire class. After she hung up, there was about a 10-15 second silence where she started to cry. When she started to actually shed tears, one student said out loud, "So are you bringing in cake tomorrow?" -mketophx66
5. Don't be racist. It's embarrassing.
My Dutch econ professor asked some sort of math question. The one Asian student raised his hand and answered. This prompted my professor to go on a rant about how the American school system was terrible, and that only international students answered math questions. It was at this point that the Asian kid said "ummmmm, I'm from Cleveland." -bucks4life
6. A+ bee handling.
I had an econ teacher who was getting pissed at a bee buzzing around the room. In the middle of his lecture, he caught the bee barehanded, threw it on the ground, and stepped on it in one fluid motion. Afterwards, looked at us and said, "that is a warning for the other bees" then continued on with the lecture. -mez_42
7. Relatable.
I had a prof show up to class with a "stray" kitten that he "found", tucked inside his winter coat. He then proceeded to solicit food from the class to feed it and then abandoned the class for 15 minutes to go play with it in his office. -nhnhnh
8. Give them a hand.
My history professor has a hook for a hand. one day he took it off and the sock he had over his arm nub, drew a face on it, and started talking to the class with it like a puppet -theleatherman
9. Professors: they're just like us!
He opened his chrome browser while the projector was on and YouPorn was one of his most visited links. -calmdown
10. TMI.
Setting: Intro to Archeology and we are covering obsidian tools.
Prof hands out several small obsidian blades to pass around the class, stressing how they are sharp so be careful. Then he tells us he performed an experiment when he had his vasectomy. He asked the surgeon to use a scalpel on one side, and an obsidian blade on the other so he could see which side healed faster.
Telling your class you are now firing blanks is a little awkward, but he then lets slip that one of the blades going around the class was the blade used during the surgery. Holding a tool that cut your profs' vas deferens is quite awkward. -anthropology_nerd
11. She's hip with the hypothalamus.
Psychology: The Hypothalamus is responsible for the four "F's": fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.
We all just sat there for a minute thinking, "mating doesn't start with an f..." until the lightbulbs went on one by one and the laughter began. I think it was mostly awkward because this professor is a thin, petite, attractive younger woman. I wasn't expecting that at all. Gave her comment mental upvotes. -positmylife
12. Who won the battle?
My professor brought out a lizard puppet and had a poetry battle with it. He laughed the whole time. No one else did. -rirry
13. Sounds ethical.
Pretending to jack off and cum everywhere. This was in biomedical ethics. -ArbutusAtFourth
14. Dr. Tobias Fünke, is that you?
Painted himself with blue paint to emulate the Blue Man Group. He was obsessed with them all semester and did this during the final exam. -coolphotos
15. Pure poetry.
My pig medicine lecturer described a pig vulva as "beautiful rose petals". It took all my willpower to not burst out laughing during the lecture. -AnimalDoctor88
16. He should try jazz hands.
A Professor of Political Philosophy, in an attempt to avoid getting chalk on his shirt or pants, would place his hands - palms out, fingers bent as if to palm boobs - on either side his forehead. He would hold his hands there until he needed the chalk again, lecturing all the while. We referred to it as the Moon Moose. -armchairepicure
Have you truly lived if you haven't been banned from at least one place?!
Sure, it's a bad look to get blacklisted, and you should reflect if it's an ongoing pattern in your life, but getting kicked out once can be a chaotic rite of passage.
While we normally imagine people getting banned for violence or wreaking undeniable havoc, there are plenty of more creative reasons people have been kicked out or blacklisted from public establishments and social groups.
In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the places they've been banned from and why they were banned, and the reasons truly run the gamut from expected to bizarre.
I've posted this before, but I think I've been banned from Kazakhstan. I was going to go there for work. I'd sent them my passport to their embassy in Singapore, from Australia, paid my visas, asked them if everything was in order and they assured me it was and that I would have my passport sent back to me. And then the day before I was to travel BAM...I apparently had to pay another $100 before I could get my passport back, as they hadn't sent it back as they'd claimed.
Well, I just lost it (which I shouldn't have) and started cussing them out as an Australian is wont to do, and threw in what little Russian I knew too. Surprisingly it wasn't appreciated. They told me after being rude to them my visa was cancelled and not to expect to get into the country any time soon. I said "great, your country is shit anyway". They then told me to come collect my passport, and I had to remind them that being in Singapore how the f*ck could I fly from Australia to come and get it. Missed my flights. Banned from Kazakhstan. Good times...
The I F*cking Love Science Facebook group. It was a cool place with lots of cool people that discussed science and stuff. One day, someone posted some pseudoscience so one of the regulars there pointed it out on the post. Then that regular got banned which was a shame since she was a totally awesome nuclear scientist. Another regular asked why the nuclear scientist got banned. That's how we lost our cosmologist who liked to calculate the size of galaxies for fun.
Then I asked why he was banned. So they lost me. A lot of the good people got banned and then the admin, Elise Andrews, made a post complaining that moderating is hard and we should be grateful that she hasn't deleted the group. She was the one that had taken away moderating privileges from the original admins! So we all made a new Facebook science group and hang out there.
EDIT: The name of the group is Think Tank: Science Talks.
I am banned from the local karaoke bar because I would choose instrumentals and just stand there telling dirty jokes the whole song. Edit: please go do this! Most places have the wedding march at least and it's a great break from murdered songs.
All nude strip club. 1st time I ever went, shortly after 21st birthday.
Strippers spread their legs, hold a cup under their...loins...and wait for you to throw in a crumpled up dollar like a basketball. If you win, you get tits on your face.
I was trashed. I had no dollars left. But I took the train in...which meant I had Sacajawea coins.
Apparently strippers don't like being pelted with gold doubloons.
"It's legal tender!" I yelled frantically as I was yanked from my chair.
My brother is lifetime banned from our local mall and the McDonalds in front of it. The mall because his buddy pissed against the mirror and he just stood there laughing about it, and McDonalds for complaining about waiting for their food, threatening to go to Burger King, yelling that the food will be cold anyway and Burger King is way better, and trying to convince the other guests to follow them to Burger King.
He still goes to both the mall and the McD though.
I was banned from Best Buy for pretending to be an employee. I bought a shirt at Goodwill and walked around the store telling customers to f*ck off if they came up to me.
Kind of banned from the local grocery store. Went there after the partying one night with a friend, I was unaware of the number of drugs he consumed. I just remember him yelling something about they should be free and this is inhumane. He rips the top of the lobster tank and decides to rescue the lobsters. He actually killed a few trying to set them free.
This might be an urban legend... Now proven! Link below! I am a low-level physicist. The entire American Physical Society (APS) was banned form Las Vegas. The annual meeting of the APS was held in Las Vegas, one year. Supposedly, the physicists went down to the casinos, whipped out their calculators and figured the odds...
"I'm not playing that!" they all chorused, "It's impossible to win!" The casinos had a record low take that week. Supposedly, the APS has been black-listed and will never be allowed to return.
Got a lifetime ban from all Queensland (A state in Australia) casinos. Got caught counting cards, arrested, charged with stealing, plead guilty. BOOM - lifetime ban.
Got a letter 3 years after stating I was allowed back...
While we have school to credit for most of our knowledge of history, math, and the forever useful Pythagorean theorem, sometimes teachers and faculty members really missed the mark when enforcing "rules."
Why did we have to raise our hands before throwing the trash out at lunch? What was with the weird, single file line and "line leaders?" Was it really a cardinal sin to wear spaghetti strap tops? Why was it a punishment to turn off the lights in school and put our heads down when it was actually pretty cozy to do that in the middle of the afternoon? School sometimes felt a lot like a weird series of stressful events (curse you, multiplication tests) broken up by a period where you're forced to climb a cargo net or roll around in a parchute. Why did we have to get scored on how fast we could run a mile and do three chin-ups? And what was with all the detentions for not silencing your phone?
So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What was the most bizzare school rule you had in your school?" people were ready to get nostalgic for their strange school days.
1.
Our handbook stated that you could only address teachers as, “Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Dr., or Coach”. The 60 year old woman (who was in no way involved with athletics) that taught biology tried to write a referral to one of my friends who insisted on calling her Coach for insubordination. Admin couldn’t do anything about it, so they removed Coach from the list of acceptable names and re-issued the handbook. - GobbleGobbleDotCom
2.
Around my last year of primary school (Brit here), they suddenly added a rule where you can’t talk during your lunch. They said it was so we’d have more time to play afterwards, but you’d have to wait to be dismissed first so how long it takes to eat doesn’t matter at all
At first everyone was silent apart from a few whispers behind the teachers backs, but then it transitioned into everyone talking quietly. I think the teachers gave in at that point as they said that we can talk as long as it’s quiet, then everyone learned to gradually get louder so by the time I left it was back to normal level. - BigFatManiacPrat
3.
I live in a place where it gets very hot during the day so when it got too hot for us to play outside during recess, they would make us all sit down and do nothing….… while still outside. - NamedName139
4.
No curly hair unless it was "natural" - Heymrpreacherman
5.
Two that both happened in high school: No high fives, as administration considered it bullying. They never once explained how, but it was.
They banned any drink that wasn't water or plain milk. They would actually check lunch bags as kids entered to make sure they weren't sneaking anything in. They were especially hard on hot beverages. The years before, high schoolers could have coffee/tea from home, but then they became convinced we were adding sugar to it and banned it. I was getting over laryngitis once and had a travel mug of hot water with honey and lemon like my doctor suggested, and the bitch of a gym teacher snatched it and dumped it even though I had a doctor's note. - kcvngs76131
6.
My elementary school banned soccer for three years because I hit the teacher’s assistant with the ball as I went to shoot... She was bending down to tie her shoe in the middle of the field. - Merde17Merde17
7.
No backpacks allowed. In a high school where lockers were severely lacking, so each locker had 3 people using it. - Bitchy_Ghost
8.
in 8th grade my school literally had to remind everyone to only use their google drive for school purposes because some student used over a terabyte of storage for memes. - HDmemes
9.
No mechanical pencils. - SkipOldBaySeasoning
10.
No reading your own book after finishing your class work - redbucket75
11.
Girls weren’t allowed to tie their hair into a bun. Untied hair, however, wasn’t an issue. - ridzzzzzz
12.
I don't know if its really bizarre but dress code for the girls. They aren't even allowed to show shoulders, last year they almost banned crocs because someone was offended cause they saw some girls feet. For the girls who are dress coded they automatically either get iss or they have to cover the showing part of skin with duct tape or toilet paper. - Yumiteefs
13.
At one point when I was in primary school they banned running in the playground. - amymartine
14.
Nothing with a hood could be worn. The Vice Principal threatened to cut the hoods off if he caught students wearing one, and would stand at the schools entrance carrying around a pair of scissors. I don't know of any instances of people losing their hoods so it was mostly just a scare tactic to 'enforce' it. Some people had their hoodie/jacket confiscated but returned at the end of the day, hood intact.
It was such a bizarre rule. Came out of nowhere in the middle of winter and was enforced for only a few weeks before people stopped caring. - bangersnmash13
15.
My Headmaster had a rule they you could not yawn in class. If you did, he would request you do ten push ups (essentially to wake yourself up). If you laughed at the person being punished you would get 10 as well. Note, it was done in good fun and he wouldn't punish you further if you didn't but you got props for effort. One of the best teachers I ever had. - zerbey
16.
no skulls on shirts - DjangoAsyl39
17.
No reading Harry Potter books for school related purposes. - CaptDeadeye
18.
No phones allowed at all. Couldn't even have them in your bag - FrostFire501
Let's face it, ladies, life is rough. We could all use a laugh today. These memes are so hilariously relatable that you will definitely want to share them with all of your fun-loving gal pals.
It's policy for most car dealerships to allow potential customers to go on a test drive to see if they're vibing with the vehicle, and if it fits all of their needs.
Most of the time, these rides are fairly uneventful, a salesperson rides along and doles out intel on the car's features, and how it functions in daily use, and the customer gets a chance to see how they feel on the road.
However, as with any exchange between two unpredictable human beings, there are test-drives that get super weird, super fast.
People who work at car dealerships and rental places jumped on a Reddit thread to share the weirdest and most unforgettable test drives they've been on, and it's a miracle some of them lived to tell the tale.
Friend's story: a customer took a Mazda sedan for a test drive and midway pulled over and asked to swap with the salesman to experience the car from the passenger seat. Just as they were about to drive off again he says he feels sick and can't go on, and thanks for his time. Turns out he just wanted a lift into town.
I had a dirty looking guy with long, greasy hair want to test drive a Cadillac. We had a pre-planned route for test drives, but he turned the opposite way out of the dealership and told me he wanted to go his own way.
At this point, he was acting somewhat strange, like nothing specific, just odd mannerisms. We drove a couple miles and I started getting a bit scared that I was going to be on the 6 o'clock news, when suddenly he pulled into an ice cream place. He bought us both ice cream cones and we ate them as he checked out the engine, then we drove back and he left.
It was nice.
EDIT: To those asking, he didn't buy the car, and I never saw him again. I prefer to believe that he travels the country, buying ice cream for poor commission - starved car salesmen like a dirty, greasy Santa Claus.
Not a salesman but once I went to a Mazda dealership to test drive an RX-8. The salesman was a talkative dude, and to make conversation I asked him what was the craziest thing he's seen on the job.
He told me he let a guy test drive an RX-8 as well and that the dude absolutely loved it. Before buying it though, he had to go show his mom to see if she would approve. Dude asked the salesman "Can I go show this to my mom to see if she approves?" Salesman said "Of course."
The dude doesn't come back after a few hours so the salesman calls him up and the dude lets him know he's on his way to New Orleans to show his mom.. the dealership was in South Texas. The dude shows up a day or so later and buys the car. Salesman is relieved because he would have been fired and then some.
Used car dealer in NJ here. I was selling a 2006 Honda odyssey EX-l and the only info I get before a test drive is a driver's license and a phone number. The guy said he knew the area so I let him go alone cause we were short-staffed, I told him to keep it short. This jacka*s is gone for 3 hours, and ignoring my phone calls. I was about to call the police but I decided to give him another half hour, he finally came back and the van was filled with groceries and some sh*t from home depot. I was pissed and he knew it. I'll never forget what he said, "I know you're pissed, but before you say anything, I'll buy it." I laughed and held firm on the price, which he didn't seem to have a problem with.
I had a car salesmen start crying on me when I told him I was still looking and not going to buy the car that day. He broke down and cried, a 30-year-old man. He excused himself and went to see his manager came back and cried some more. He said he thought we connected and was sure I was going to buy the car.
My girlfriend used to manage an Enterprise and she said an old woman brought a car back with the front completely destroyed and her explanation was that the gate at her development wouldn't open so she rammed it, it still didn't open so she rammed it two more times. She forgot that the rental car didn't have the little tag that opens the gate and no one was around to let her in, so...she rammed it. From what I'm told she was very nonchalant about it.
A couple of years ago I go to buy a car. At the beginning of the drive I can tell the car salesman isn't looking so well, he's looking a bit loopy and pale. About halfway through the drive he yells for me to pull over. As I stop he opens the door and pukes all over the ground and the inside of the door. The last ten minutes in that car were the most awkward and worst smelling moments of my life.
Not the salesman, but the buyer. In 1989, I took a new Nissan for a test drive. I think is was a 240SX, but I can't remember for sure. This was in a small town in Louisiana, and at the time, you could go on a test drive without a salesman in the car.
I drove it about 5 min away to show my then GF. On the way back, as I was passing underneath an overpass, doing around 40 mph, a drunk in an old Ford pick up truck blew through a stop sign and slammed into me.
I tried to steer away from him at the last second to avoid it, but it was almost a T-bone. The car rolled twice and had most of the passenger side ripped off. I can remember watching the world spin around in slow motion as broken glass flew through the air. Thank God I was wearing a seatbelt!
The car rolled twice but ended up back on four wheels. The funny thing was, this was one of the cars that talked to you, and even though the car was ripped to shreds, it kept telling me that my key was in the ignition.
I took an ambulance ride to the hospital to get checked out, and they brought the car back to the dealership in a paper bag.
Thankfully this did not happen to me it was one of my salesman I hired in the past. He had a guy test drive a S500 Mercedes, only a few years old at the time. He let the gentleman and his wife have it alone which happens frequently at high line dealerships. They returned 45 minutes later a bit of a long test drive. They said the check engine light popped on and the ABS light and they were scared of the car and left. Come to find out they removed some $2500 worth of parts to fix their S500 at a repair shop a few miles away. Thankfully they were found out and caught.
I work at a used dealership. We sell all types of vehicles, but our most popular vehicle in this area is a full-size pickup. We always have at least 5 or 10.
Early December 2 years ago, we had a dude come in and he was looking around at our cars. He said he was interested in a Focus wagon and wanted to take it for a test drive. No problem man, have a good time.
He came back about 45 minutes later, said it wasn't what he was looking for, and rushed off. I went to put the car away and noticed it smelled like pine. The a*shole loaded a Christmas tree in the back and took it home, then brought our car back. Why couldn't he have just used a truck?
I left the car business a long time ago but one customer will be forever seared into my brain. She came in to trade her 6-year-old car in on a new Ford Explorer. I got the car ready and pulled it around front. She climbed in and carefully pulled out into traffic. She asked if we could run an errand. I said sure.
We drove to a house a few minutes away. She got out, took a small bag out of her purse and placed a used feminine product on the windshield of a car in the driveway, got back in the car and said "F*ck that ho." We drove away. She bought the car and was gone a couple hours later. I will never be the same.
Former salesperson here. Probably the craziest would be this guy suddenly yelled "LETS TEST OUT THE 4 WHEEL DRIVE!!!" He veered off the road near the dealership and cut donuts in a muddy field. I didn't really give a sh*t if he damaged the truck because that's what insurance and lawyers are for. I just felt bad for the underpaid guys in the back who had to clean it back up.
The only time I ever got upset with someone and told them to pull the fuck over was this old man was test driving a brand new 2008 Corvette. This guy couldn't drive a manual for sh*t. He could barely get it out of the parking space but he managed to get enough momentum to start rolling toward the road and I noped the f*ck out.
This guy showed up in a flashy Maserati and wanted to test drive a new Nissan. I don't even remember what it was - maybe an SUV or something. He drove it to an ATM and withdrew like $200. Then he just gave it to me. That was kind of weird and I wasn't really sure what to do with it. I tried to refuse it but he was insistent. He said it was a tip and just wanted to make sure I was taken care of.
We went back and he said he would have someone be in touch to complete the purchase. My manager was trying to get him to stay and just buy it now. The guy broke down and started yelling at my manager about how his son had just died and he had a bunch of other things he needed to do.
This was all a long time ago so I don't really remember the details. I was in my early 20s at the time, maybe only 20 or 21, probably about the same age as any kids this guy would have had. I reported the money he gave me because I didn't really know what else to do with it and didn't want it to become an issue if he told other people later. I figured we'd just apply it to the purchase or something. My manager told me to just keep it.
He never ended up buying the car and I never heard from him again. Kind of a weird experience all things considered. I sold cars for years and that was the only time someone ever gave me extra money (especially for NOT buying a car) and the only time I saw someone yelling at a manager in the showroom.
I've been a professional car salesman at the same dealer for almost 5 years.
I've seen some sh*t.
The strangest was this little old lady named Virginia. Sweet old lady who was basically senile. She drove up in a silver 2001 Lincoln Town Car. She said that demons had possessed that car and 'the man in the radio' told her to but a new one. I was a little perplexed, but I agreed to show her a (new at the time) 2011 Lincoln Town Car in silver. She immediately fell in love with it. She wanted to test drive it.
I felt a little awkward about getting the key, as I couldn't really tell if she was serious. But, nevertheless, I asked her for her driver's license. It was current and valid, so I got the keys.
She starts the car, drives it across our parking lot, and then immediately stops when she spots her current 2001 TC sitting in the parking lot. She says "Hey! There's a silver one! Can we drive that one?"
Now I'm really confused. I remind her that the car she is now pointing at is actually her current car, and we are test driving a new silver one. She says "Oh, ok. We'll drive that one when we get back."
Now I'm not comfortable. I ask her to stay stopped here for a moment. I call my sales manager and explain to him what's going on. While he is just as confused as I am, he tells me to proceed with the drive but not leave the general area or go on any freeways.
We leave the lot and pull up to a busy intersection. While we are waiting for a green light she starts asking me if this car has any bad demons in it. I chuckled a little bit and say absolutely not, it's a brand new car.
Light goes green, and we proceed down a busy main road at about 20 mph (Speed Limit 45). She won't go any faster. Cars are flying around us blaring their horns. I tell her to ignore them and focus on driving up to safe speed. She gets to about 30 mph.
We are cruising along at 30mph (while still annoying all of the traffic around us) when she suddenly for no reason just slams on the brakes. THANK GOODNESS no one was immediately behind us. That surely would be a collision.
I politely ask her to please pull over on the side of the road. She asks me why and I tell her that there's some feature I want to show her on the car. She pulls off the road. We both get out, and then I jump in the driver's side seat and say "Ok Virginia, I'm going to show you cool stuff. Go ahead and hop in, I'll drive."
As I drive us back to the dealership, I point out the nice ride and stuff blah blah blah. She's being very quiet.
I pull up at the dealership. I walk her inside and then tell my sales manager what happened. He admits it all very strange and he comes out to talk to her.
She tells him she wants to buy the car (music to a sales manager's ears). He looks at me like "What's the big deal? Sell her the car."
At this point, I don't feel right about it. I ask her if she is absolutely sure that she wants to buy a brand new car today. She says "Yes I'd love to. Do you have any silver Town Cars?" I explain that we just got back from a test drive in a silver Town Car. She doesn't believe me and wants to see a new silver Town Car.
I called the police and explained that I believed she was senile and should not be driving. They came down to the dealer to meet her, and that's when we found out that she had gone missing from an institute not too far from here. They have no idea how she got the 2001 Town Car. It was registered to a family in town with no relation to her and it was reported stolen.
I don't know whatever happened to her after that, but it was all really sad.
Took a woman on a test drive, she backed into a fence while turning the car around to go back to the dealership, and when I had to go report it to management when we returned (there was damage) she DENIED it, and quickly jumped into her car and left. That and the guy who just pulled out SLOWLY into 4 lanes of traffic without looking. I've had some fun ones but those two stick out in my memory...
I had a guy show up on a fairly nice Harley Davidson w/out a shirt on. Nobody helped him so I offered to. He wanted to drive one of our top-end cars ($320K Rolls-Royce Ghost). I got a service bag (the ones that protect the seats from the mechanics grime) and let him drive it. We got up to about 140 mph on a public road before I told him he needed to buy it before hitting 150 mph.
We went back to the dealership, he went to his bike and wrote us a check. We delivered the car to his house that night and have been buying cars from the dealership ever since. (He's also purchased a 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo S, Maserati GranTurismo MC Stradale Convertible or Grancabriolet depending on where you're from, and an Aston Martin Vanquish).
An old man was test-driving an F150 and when we got back to the lot he insisted on backing it into the parking space himself. There was a BMW behind us and it looked like he was going to hit it, so I offered to get out and move it. "I'm not gonna hit it." he said. "Sir we're getting awful close, put the vehicle in park for me."
"I'm not gonna hit the damn car!" crunch
I basically said "Well there it was." and hopped out. Showed him the damage and he insisted he didn't do it. I think he was just embarrassed and panicked a bit. I would have worked something out with him since the damage wasn't all that bad, but he called me a liar, hopped in his truck and left so I called the police. He wound up paying a couple hundred bucks for the damage.
I was showing a car to a guy one day. When I went to go get something, he had opened the hood to look at the engine bay, and he had closed it before I got back. Well, while we were driving on the interstate, sure enough - the hood flew open because he hadn't latched it all the way. It smashed into the windshield, shattering it. We were going really fast, and all of the sudden we couldn't see anything at all. I thought we were goners. But somehow he made it off the road without any further incident.
I was also offered sex in a car by an attractive older woman, but didn't do it...
I work at a Ford/Lincoln dealership and this was a few months back but I had an elderly couple come in and ask to take a new Lincoln MKZ out for a test drive. While making a selection to drive they bring up the fact they are very interested in the Lane Keeping system and driver-assist package.
I think it's great they are wanting to get some of the latest and greatest technology so I find one with all the features we talked about and proceeded with a drive. Just before allowing them to drive I ask if they have a radio station they want to listen to. They did, it was a spa station on Sirius so I put that on for them and we start the drive. About half way in I ask why they were so interested in the drivers assist features and they come right out and tell me he has issues passing out at the wheel and wanted to feel safer while driving.
I ask how frequent and they say a couple times every time they drive! If I would have had the power to revoke their driver's license I would have on the spot. I recommended not listening to the spa station at this point cause anyone would pass out listening to that music. But we continued on with the spa music and all.
On the way back sure as hell he passes out while going 70 on the freeway, No one really notices it at first and the car did a good job keeping it in the lane but then his wife noticed and had to scream and hit him gently to wake him back up. Couldn't believe they would even risk themselves let alone others' lives by getting behind any wheel. I made him pull over and I finished the drive for them.
Most people are on their "best" behavior early on in a relationship, so it can take a while for certain secrets, habits, or quirks to become apparent to a partner. Or maybe that partner just isn't paying close attention. Either way, don't assume you know everything about the person you've been dating, sleeping with, or even living with, for months, or years. Love is full of surprises!
Someone asked Reddit: "What's something about your boyfriend/girlfriend that you didn't know until waaaay too late in the relationship?"
These 20 people share the surprising discoveries they made about someone they were dating long-term:
My ex was going through a trial during our first summer of dating. I didn't understand why he wouldn't leave his house or why he had to be home at a certain time. I found out he was on house arrest
First time I slept over and it happened I was literally talking to her quietly and she was asleep. I wondered what I had said or done to make her go all zombie-like. Really creeped me out.
The next day I talked to her about it and she admitted it happened sometimes.
I happens all the time.
She goes to sleep with her eyes closed but they over a couple of minutes they slowly open up. Freaky as fuck.
But eventually I got over it and married her.
We have three girls. Two of them are normal but one… sleeps with her eyes open.
No joke but one of my exes was racist towards Hispanics and I am Mexican-American. She and her family thought I was Italian. Shit got so awkward after that.
I dated a girl once who waited a year to tell me that her other boyfriend was in prison for selling cocaine. Best part was that he knew about me and apparently had been under the impression that she would be waiting for him when he got out later that year.
I dated a girl for two years once. I tried to teach her how to surf one time, she refused to get into the water. She said she would prefer to just watch me. I took her to a water-park, and she refused to do any of the slides or anything because they were dirty. Once, at the end of the summer, I took her skinny dipping, and she just got naked and dangled her feet off the dock into the water. Then it struck me. She got really embarrassed and admitted that she did not know how to swim.
That she wanted kids, and that it's very important to her.
You know how people say you shouldn't talk about kids too early in a relationship? Fuck those people. If you're looking for a serious relationship, make sure you want the same thing before you start. There is no compromising on this. You can't have half a kid.
She didn't know about Hiroshima and the atomic bomb. She didn't even know that the US was at war with Japan during WWII.
13.) From [deleted]:
He was legally blind.
He hid it really well, we lived on campus so he never drove anywhere because he just didn't have a car, he always read really close to the screen or to the pages because he couldn't see, but I do the same thing and have fixable vision so i didn't think anything of it. Eight months later, we get into a huge fight because I lost my glasses/contacts and needed a ride, in my own car, to the eye doctor to get more. He refused up and down, and I was furious. I had to get a friend to drive me (it was kind of an emergency, gotta go right now situation) and I was livid.
Later that day he explained he couldn't see really at all and that it wasn't fixable, and that he's always been this way and that what I thought was his drivers license was just an ID card, and people always give him shit about not having a license or not being able to read far away, not realizing he was blind.
I felt like an ass.
14.) From [deleted]:
That she actually DOESNT have the same taste of music as I do. That was just to get to know me.
My ex told me a year and a half into our relationship that she didn't really think of physics as a science. She actually had no idea what it was. I'm a physics major.
My girlfriend and I only discovered a month or so ago (after dating ~4 years) that neither of us ever directly addresses the other's parents, because we have no idea what to call them.
That he was a virgin before he got with me. I thought he was bs'ing. He confessed that I took his virginity and his closest buds and siblings confirmed it. Craziness. It didn't affect our relationship, but I didn't understand why he lied about it. I was crazy about him before we even had sex.
He sometimes sleepwalks. I've only been around him when he's done this once but that was enough to burn it in my memory.
I was sleeping peacefully when I woke up to a horrible pain, I even yelled out apparently. The next thing I heard was my boyfriend saying over and over again "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I'm sooo sorry!"
Apparently in his dream, he was deciding where to go eat. Then magically some bacon appeared in front of him so he took a bite.
We met when she was 18, I was 24. 3 years later I plan on a big "You're 21 now" party kind of thing, she refuses. next 6 months she refuses to go to bars with me, or get a glass of wine when we go out for dinner but would drink at home. Eventually I see her ID and it says she is now 20.
So there was a year of statutory rape going on by me with out my knowledge.
23.) From [deleted]:
He doesn't know how to do laundry. I always did it because I enjoy the zen of cleanliness and order.
Then we have kids and he doesn't mind helping me out so I'm not spread so thin. One day, as I was leaving to get groceries I asked him to do a load of laundry. Washer, then dryer. I'll fold when I get home because I'm particular about it.
I return and ask if he remembered to do the laundry and he says yes. Then immediately says "Babe... You have not been loading that washer and dryer to capacity. I got so much done"
Terror shrieks through me.
I pull about 3 loads worth of laundry out of the dryer. Mostly wet but the outside of the load was hard and crusty. Covered in caked on, dried in detergent and softener.
Back-to-school season is imbued with even more anxiety than usual, as the pandemic that sent kids home from school last spring has yet to improve. 21 states have been declared "red zones" with serious outbreaks, yet Trump is adamant that kids (except for his son) go back to their classrooms.
Teachers, students, and parents are anxious about what this fall is going to look like as state governments and school districts grapple with the question whether or not to keep their communities socially distanced.
A national teachers' union voted that its members can strike if their schools can't guarantee that all humans with lungs in the building would be safe. Many parents, sick and tired of being sick and tired, want to their kids to just leave the house already.
People are sharing their opinions on Twitter, and these tweets—both pro-reopening and anti—have resonated the most.
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No plan is perfect. Both have downsides. Both have upsides. I just want to be able to plan one way or the other. I want to be the best teacher I can be to my students. pic.twitter.com/psjmbsqKkd
Baby, I was born this way! Cheers to all of the single and fabulous folks. Whether you're looking for love or happily independent, you will definitely relate to these funny memes. They perfectly nail the hilarious highs and lows of single life.
The #AdoptDontShop movement to rescue pets from shelters instead of buying from breeders or pet stores has been gaining ground in recent years — but one guy is asking for advice after his efforts to adopt didn't quite pan out.
The man took to Reddit to ask if it would be an a-hole move to buy a pup from a breeder instead of a shelter. He's been rejected from a few different shelters, and he explains why.
It's been about two years since he started his journey, and he says he had to put one rescue dog down:
I (25m) have been wanting to adopt a dog for about two years now.
The first year, I adopted my first dog. However, the first week I had her, she had seizures that the shelter 'forgot' to disclose to me, saying they were stress induced and most likely I just needed to wait it out. Nope. The veterinarian said it was a pre-existing condition and that the shelter should have told me before adoption. I kept her for a month but eventually, the vet and I had to put her down.
Now he is ready to try again:
This year, I decided to try again and try to get a 'corona pup'. I have worked from home for about three years now anyways, so it's now or never.
The second shelter I applied to said that they had an influx for puppy applications as they had several litters come in, so expect a delay. I said that was fine, I was interested in an older dog anyways. They never got back to me, and when I reached out, they told me that my application had been denied for THE PUPPIES.
It didn't work out at the next shelter:
I reminded them that I wanted to be considered for one of their older dogs, and they apologized but all their older dogs had been adopted/were waiting for a meeting the family.
The next one said no because of his neighbors:
The third rescue had a woman visit my house and she scrutinized everything but eventually declined my application - citing my NEIGHBOR'S ABOVE GROUND POOL as a health hazard for the dog I matched with, saying the dog could easily go between jump over my new fence and drown itself. I tried to call the shelter but they agreed with her. They denied me to even be considered for other dogs.
Finally, he says the last shelter said no because of dog food they had given them:
Fourth shelter did a foster to adopt system, I had the dog for three days and then someone from the rescue would come and look him over. They were worried about the brand of dog food I was feeding him - the brand THEY GAVE ME - and took him back, saying that the brand is known for causing kidney failure with dogs.
He is now awaiting a dog fro ma breeder:
I eventually said screw it, did some research on a breed I would want, found a great breeder, and put a deposit down for the next litter (possibly next year as she only breeds her dogs once a year). I told my friends and everyone basically called me out with the 'adopt don't shop' attitude. I tried to explain the issues I have been having but they said that shelters have to be picky to avoid dogs coming back.
He doesn't want to get a "sickly dog" again:
I understand, but I have been burned and I am not risking getting a sickly dog again, much less dealing with rejection after rejection from the shelters.
I get there are a lot of dogs out there, but I have just had such bad experiences from supposedly reputable places to adopt dogs from in my area. [Am I the a-hole] for just giving up and going with a breeder's puppy instead?
Most people agree that he's done all he can.
User milee30 lamented the stringent requirements for pet adoption:
Yeah, last time I went to adopt a rescue the write-ups on most of the dogs looked like this:
13 year old dog named Princess. Princess is blind in one eye, needs medication three times a day and is not house trained. She does not like children or other animals. Prospective homes will be white glove inspected, potential owners will be cavity searched. Must have a fenced in yard and fully baby proofed home. Apply and we will let you know if you are worthy.
Liefieblue said it's okay for breeders to exist:
I foster and rescue and volunteer for hard to home animals. All my animals are rescues. But there is a place in this world for responsible, ethical breeders who maintain breed standards, particularly for working breeds. Not all rescue organisations are good. So choose a good breeder and enjoy your dog.
User mandiko shared another wild story of shelter rejection:
A family friend tried to adopt an indoor cat couple years back. They had already made a beautiful and safe catio for it and everything. They were turned down bc they live next to a road. Like what kind of house isn't located next to a road?
Still, not everyone would do what he's doing. Elomonated says:
Lol this is a pretty cathartic post for me because while I did finally get to adopt my dog, holy cow shelter people can be insane. I'd be willing to do it again, only because, and this isn't a judgment on you, I just really don't want to be paying into breeding at all.
But Wanabetaurean disagrees:
Absolutely YTA. Animals are not products to be bred for profit and aesthetics to please us, they are living, feeling lifeforms that shouls never be exploited, you either find a rescue or don't get one. You should've been patient with the shelters. If you really wanted a dog that bad and really cared for the welfare of animals. There is no other responsible way to have an animal companion than rescue.
And onbrandtofu also says he should try harder:
I just don’t believe in breeding more dogs when there are so many strays and shelters in the world who need loving homes. I’ve only ever rescued — are you going to especially bougie shelters somehow? Kill shelters are usually pretty desperate to get rid of dogs, for better or for worse. While I hate to support shelters that kill perfectly healthy happy animals, I’d rather do that then pay someone to keep adding indefinitely to the number of dogs without homes ...
They continue:
I’ve also had good luck at no-kill shelters, they’re just always overrun and underfunded and equally desperate to home their animals. They all do minor background checks to make sure you’re not likely to abuse, neglect, or hoard animals ... My biggest obstacles have just involved already having other pets (eg having to prove they’re all up to date on shots, will behave happily together, etc.) I’m really not sure why you’re having this big of a problem and I’m sorry, but breeding shouldn’t be the answer.
Still, the overwhelming majority say it's okay to buy from a breeder in this case.
We've all heard horror stories about brides threatening their bridesmaids with corporal punishment if they happen to have the wrong hair color on the big day. But today, we're hearing from a bride who's ready to throw her entire husband away because of his aesthetic choices.
The woman took to Reddit to ask if it's okay that she threatened to cancel the wedding if her fiancé doesn't shave his beard. Let's dive into this mess!
Her fiancé's been letting his face follicles run wild since March:
So I have been with my fiancé for over 3 years. We have been engaged for one of those years. Our wedding is set for September 6th. My fiancé has been growing a beard ever since like March or so. I haven’t thought anything of it since I’ve seen him with a beard plenty of times before. I’d say since I’ve known him it’s been about 50/50 between him clean shaven and him having a beard.
She floated the idea of him shaving before the wedding:
I jokingly brought up his beard and our wedding the other day. I said “you ready to have a clean face for our wedding?” He looked at me and was silent for a few seconds. He finally said “Um I was going to leave my beard for the wedding”
She deemed his preference "not acceptable":
I gave him a pretty gross look and said “no you are not. That is not acceptable. I will not have that.” He got mad that I was telling him what to do and said that I can’t tell him what to do with his grooming preferences. I said that I have the right to since it is my wedding and I am marrying him.
Things are not going well:
We kept going back and forth about it until I said that I would cancel our wedding if he doesn’t shave. He didn’t budge. He ended up getting really mad by that comment and left shortly after. He’s barely texted me since that happened. I’ve told my friends and family about the situation and part of them agree with me while some say that I had no right to tell him to do that and that I was being a jerk for doing so.
And she doesn't even dislike his beard that much!
Just to clarify, I don’t hate his beard, it’s fine. I think at times that it can be attractive. I just don’t really like the idea of him not being clean shaven on our wedding day. I feel as though the pictures will not be as classy and nice.
So reddit, am I the a**hole in this situation?
The people responded with a resounding, "You suck."
Puzzleheaded-Finish5 had a great answer:
As a woman, you should understand the concepts: My body, my choice. The fact you are denying him the right to choose what he wants is messed up. It would be the same as him telling you what to do with your hair. If you are that petty, just let the poor man go so he can find someone else. And btw, the wedding is about both bride and groom. I hate women like you who think the wedding is only about them. Sorry to break it to you but it's not.
skittlesNWhiskey289 put it succinctly:
if thats enough to call it off, he shouldnt be marrying you anyway.
Jenkinsburns says they should compromise:
It would be reasonable to say, "honey, would you mind trimming your beard and making sure it's neat for the wedding?". Instead you decided to be a brat, and I'm not surprised your fiance walked out.
cjrhc2013 pointed out:
Flip the scenario. If he demanded you have certain haircut or style but you wanted something else, how would you feel if he threatened to call it off due to your refusal to acquiesce to his demand?
So there you have it. This marriage might be over before it even started.
“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.”
– Alexander Woollcott
It seems like all of the fun things in life get you in trouble, but you don't have to feel guilty for checking out these memes. Take a break from whatever responsible thing you should be doing right now and have some laughs. You won't regret it.
2020 is a nightmare of a year sent to destroy all of our plans!
Canceled weddings, virtual birthday parties, Zoom work happy hours and wondering what the holidays will look like as we all stand 6 feet apart and argue with our families about politics through our masks are just some classic 2020 hurdles. Most couples who were forced to pause their wedding plans have no idea when they'll be able to resume, but some brides won't let a pandemic stop their day even if that means spreading everyone out on the dance floor in Hazmat suits.
Anyone who has ever been in a bridal party or supported a family member through the wedding planning process knows that weddings can often turn normal people into selfish, detail-obsessed sea monsters. So, when a woman decided to consult the wonderful world of Reddit's moral compass, "Am I the As*hole?" about her cousin's hilariously rude request of complimentary 5-paragraph style essays to help her decide on "wedding cuts," internet strangers were ready to deem a moral verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing to RSVP to my sister’s wedding because I’m required to write an “application essay” just to attend?
Yeah I know this sounds insane but I’m living in it.
So my sister is getting married next February, destination wedding no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she is totally set on moving forward.
Anyways because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they’re cutting capacity by half. As a result she’s sending out “re-invites” that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she’s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word “essays” to two questions. The gist is that they’ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people’s enthusiasm. People who don’t write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified.
I just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren’t even pandemic-related, its broad topics like ”why do you still want to celebrate this day with us?” And “what will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?” So she’s blatantly looking for people to kiss a*s and tell her why they REALLY want to go.
Anyways I told her in advance I’m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She’s said that to keep things fair if I don’t fill out the RSVP correctly I won’t be saved a spot. I said fine with me. Then my parents said if I don’t show up I’m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays.
AITA if I stay stubborn on this? I’m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice. AITA?
Later, she edited the post for details:
Edit: I’m 27F. I don’t live with family but she is my only sister.
Edit2: Sister has framed these essays as “surveys” but there’s a word limit requirement so if you don’t reach it on the google forms you can’t even submit. Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend.
Of course, people were ready to offer advice on this (dare I say) Grade A Bridezilla behavior...
NTA (Not the As*hole). I would definitely send in two essays. The first would say “Mom/Dad said I have to come or I’m in BIG trouble” over and over again until you hit 250. The second, “I’m your sibling.” - sc1293
NTA and I hope no one writes the essay so she can see how ridiculous shes being - hamzy996
Holy hell this is a new one, props to your sister for inventing a whole new way to be a lunatic.
If they don’t care enough to “reserve” you a spot, why would you want to celebrate a day with someone so selfish? I think they’re going to get a hard dose of reality when people don’t respond or meet their 500 word essay.
How’re you going to be in big trouble with your parents? Assuming you’re old enough to pay for the trip out of your pocket, there’s not really anything they can do except be mad.
Save your money and treat yourself to a nice trip to somewhere that doesn’t have crazy people. - prinkly
That is ridiculous and I would respond in exactly the same way. I get that it's tricky whittling down a guest list, but I don't think it should be up to the guest to justify and provide evidence that their relationship with the couple warrants an invite. - secretssquirrell3001
Your sister should have sucked it up and cut the guest list herself. Getting people to kinda beg for an invite? Tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if less than half end up going lol. - riobhcas
So, there you have it!
While it's definitely sad that so many weddings had to canceled or postponed due to the pandemic, this bride's behavior is selfish and utterly ridiculous. If she has to cut guests who were originally invited, she should probably just postpone the wedding entirely until everyone can attend. But, if she's intent on powering through (during a global health crisis) she needs to make the guest decisions herself, and not force her friends and family to write a thesis arguing why they can't wait to buy her a frying pan and tell her she looks gorgeous in her dress. Good luck, everyone!
There are some situations that are so deeply embarrassing, or so horrifically terrible, that all we can do in response is shake our fist at the sky and yell "I hate my life!"
Optimists may tell you that the "FML" attitude is toxic - you always have something to be grateful for, and it's best not to dwell on the negative. While certainly, counting your blessings can be a very healthy practice, in some moments the best thing you can do for yourself is shed the pretense and admit a situation genuinely sucked.
In the spirit of honest catharsis, people jumped on a popular Reddit thread to share their "FML" stories ranging from comical to tragic.
Hopefully, these make you feel less alone on your next terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
1. From OP:
I was sat in a coffee shop few years ago drinking a cuppa and eating a sandwich.
A little while into drinking I noticed a youngish couple sitting over from us, looking towards me and giggling. This went in for a good 5 minutes. So, to appear polite, and feeling a little paranoid, I thought I'd join in with their laughing session, so I looked towards them and began sniggering and chuckling at them. Some time passed and they left.
Their table was taken by an elderly couple out for a spot of lunch. Like a gentleman the old man got up and walked to the drink queue.
Within about 30 seconds or so, the old lady stood up, approached me, leaned over and softly spoke the words, "Excuse me, but your testicles are on show."
My car randomly lost reverse on a lunch break one day. A couple days later I got laid off so I wasn't able to get a new car for 6 months and it wasn't worth fixing.
My mother would watch my daughter while I went to school, and my parents live on a dead end. I would have to drive to the end and pray there was nothing blocking the end so I could pull a sharp turn.
One very snowy day I went to pick up my daughter and the plow trucks had pushed the snow into where I turned around. I got part of the way turned and had to get out and push it back a bit so I had more room to turn again.
The car took off and started backing right toward a tree. The door was open so I ran around it to stomp on the brake and slipped on the ice and flew under my moving car. I pushed the brake with my hand as hard as I could and stopped it just in time. I just nearly got ran over by my car and the instant realization made me instantly start sobbing at my cartoon life. Bruised up my knees pretty badly.
TL;DR: My car didn't have reverse and nearly ran me over when I went to push it.
I had my period at a new friend's house when 14, just getting used to the whole process. I disposed of a nasty, bloody pad I was wearing in a trash can, put a tampon in and put my bathing suit on to jump in the pool. The next time I visit, that trash can has the label LAUNDRY on it, and then I noticed the tiny little sanitary napkin trash can hiding behind the toilet. I can only imagine my friend's mom dumping the laundry out to sort it that evening and finding it. Them realizing they needed to label the trash can accordingly... I was mortified.
Broke up with my girlfriend in January 2005. Drove to San Francisco from central Long Island, NY and got a job and a room with some friends. My life was going great and I was really enjoying myself. I was writing a book and loving life in San Francisco as a 24-year-old. In May 2005, I got a call from my ex-girlfriend: "I'm pregnant." I guess she missed a depo-provera shot or got it late. Rumor has it, she did it on purpose because she didn't want me to leave.
FML.
She left four months ago and now I'm raising our daughter myself.
FM... actually it's not so bad. My daughter is my best friend.
A tale of infidelity on exotic islands, theft, destruction, financial ruin, death, and binge drinking. Woohoo!
TL;DR Version: I flew my GF of 8 years to Hawaii. She cheated on me there. Came back, she left me and moved to Hawaii for the dude. I began binge drinking. I flew to Dallas for a week to vaycay and get my mind off of things. A pipe in my upstairs bathroom bursts, floods all 4 levels of my house for 4 days until I return. Then I lived in a hotel.
Someone hits my car. Car gets stolen from body shop. Get car back, then get laid off from work. One month later, I am at the bar, guy who is mad at me for getting him kicked out of the bar for harassing my female friend, waits for me in the lot and F*CKING STABS ME IN THE GODDAMN NECK 3x and pretty much kills me. In coma for a month. Wake up, recover, friend dies in Afghanistan, then last month another friend age 26 dies of cancer. THIS IS ALL IN ONE GODD*MN YEAR. I'm ready for a new one.
When I was in high school I dated this beautiful girl (let's call her Amy), and I lived for this chick. Anyway to make a long story short, after a year and a half together something strange started happening. It was the heyday of AIM and a mysterious person began harassing and terrorizing my girlfriend. This person knows a great deal about our relationship and very specific things about each of us. Over time my girlfriend becomes convinced that it's me, and we eventually went our separate ways. I grew up got over it, whatever. I rarely thought of her anymore.
Fast forward 5 years. I'm dating her former best friend. We've been together for about 3 years, and things are getting choppy. I find out she is interested in another guy, and decide to break it off. It wasn't a happy moment, but I was ok with it. Until she said, "by the way, it was me." ............. "What was you?" ............. "The person who ran Amy off."
I was shocked, destroyed, and amazed at how much one person could manipulate me over the course of 8 years.
I was driving to work one morning. About 5 minutes on to my 30-minute trek I realized I needed to poop and it was coming on strong. I worked in an office and was wearing a suit/business professional attire. A couple times the urge to shat got so strong that I was going to pull over and go in a corner to relieve myself, but by the time an exit from the highway came the urge went away. I assured myself over and over is make it to work fine. About 5 minutes from work I couldn't hold it anymore so I turned into a hotel parking lot and began to make my way I'm the lobby with my cheeks clinched.
As I made my way to the door I realized I had no idea where the restrooms were inside and ran the risk of shutting myself in the lobby. I hesitated for what seemed like forever at the hotel lobby door before giving up and turning back to my car with my head hung. I filled my pants on the way to the car. I called into work on the way home and used my day off to clean out my vehicle
In May I took my girlfriend to Cuba after she hinted about wanting to go constantly (I was already going for a wedding). Cost me like $1400 extra to take her, but I figured it would be worth it. She acted like a complete jerk the entire trip, complaining about everything, and one day I caught her in my room with another guy. Not doing anything...but just the fact she ditched me and took someone else into the room I paid for.
So she apologizes, says she's just under a lot of pressure because we're so far away from home and I'm the only one she knows, and I forgive her. In the following days she borrows close to $200. On the flight home, she tells me she asked her sister to pick up at the airport, and then tells me it's over. I haven't seen her again, and she still hasn't paid me back my $200. Then, A few weeks later, I suffered a stroke while jogging, and spent the entire summer in a hospital.
TL;DR: took my GF to Cuba, caught her with another guy in our room, then she borrowed money, broke up with me, and never paid it back. Then a few weeks later I had a stroke and spent my entire summer in a hospital. I still can't use my left arm. I just turned 26. FML.
Sent a picture of my privates to my girlfriend's mom. Eh, not too bad. She replied "I know this wasn't for me but the least I could do is compliment you on your shape."
I was at this rock show and managed to make it up near the front of the crowd. Halfway through the set, I found myself pressed hard up against this cute little thing with long dark hair and super-tight jeans. She seemed to be sexually grinding herself into me so I responded with some of the same, even timing some of my thrusts with the music. Partway through the song my new dance partner turns around with a concerned look on his hipster mustached face and awkwardly asks over the music, "Dude, uhh, are you humping me?" Mortified, I just dove into the mosh pit and immediately lost my left shoe.
So I'm hopping around the pit on one leg, when against all odds I see my shoe on the ground. I put it on and make my way out of the pit realizing too late that it was another right shoe of the same make. Serves me right I suppose, for perv'n on the dance floor.
Not my story but a friend's. She was at a gas station, couldn't get her money card to work in the pump, had to go back and forth to the clerk to ask for help. Finally, she figured it out and was waiting in line to pay. A really hot marine was standing in line behind her and she noticed he kept looking at her and she was flattered. But suddenly, he taps her on the shoulder and tells her "ma'am, I know this is embarrassing but I would want someone to tell me, but uh, you have toilet paper hanging from your pants."
No joke, it's like a movie, right? So embarrassed, she thanks him, takes it off of her and pays for her sh*t. Goes out to her car and drives away but immediately stops because she heard a weird noise. Turns out she forgot to take the hose out of her car and ripped it from the pump, had to go BACK to the clerk and tell him, with the marine still standing there talking to the guy. So yeah, f*ck her life.
The first time I met my girlfriend's cousin and uncle, I was wearing the cousin's clothes.
We thought we had a beach house all to ourselves, so nakedness ensues. When suddenly we hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so I grab the first pair of clothes I see (mine were in some other random room) and she just lays under in a bed. The cousin walks by me kind of confused, goes into the room where my girlfriend, his cousin, is laying naked in his bed.
The clothes I was wearing were the clothes he was about to put on so he could go to court.
In college I turned in a philosophy paper squarely a day before the deadline. It was, however, the only paper tipped sideways in the professor's little mailbox so squarely a day after the deadline I get an e-mail asking where my paper was. Sure enough it was still in the box, but did I have any proof?
When I was eleven I was one of those classic pre-teens we all make fun of now that had a blog, typd liek dis and used AIM to talk to all her friends. One day I was grounded but I was using the computer while my mom was at work, set up an away message and left the room to go get some food. I came back and the door was locked. Turns out my mom had put a lock on it but hadn't closed it and when I left I ended up locking it with all my stuff still on the computer.
My mom comes home, gets in the office, and is VERY angry because someone had instant messaged me and my away message had been replied. (It was something like omg my mom grounded me but I'm sneaking the computer brb.) She was so pissed, I don't think I had ever seen my mom so angry and it scared me.
At the end of her yelling she asked if there was anything else I'd like to inform her I was doing and like the stupid kid I was I told her I had a blog. Basically she went ape-sh*t and found out that some of the kids I was talking to online I didn't know IRL, one in particular being a random 15-year-old boy who I basically just r/firstworldproblem complained with really innocently.
She ends up taking me TO THE POLICE STATION where I had to write down all of websites I went to which was then photocopied and given to the police as 'evidence', we had to go to the library and print all the pictures of this poor boy that he had posted on his blog, and she attempted to file some sort of police report on it at the time about this kid being a pedo/how I needed to be protected or something because someone was going to come kidnap me. (I don't recall the details very well because I was traumatized at the time. I remember a moment very clearly where I was contemplating whether to kill myself with a flimsy plastic knife I had from some fast food place because of the embarrassment. Yes, seriously. I laugh every time I remember.)
To this day I still wonder if there is some police report filed deep in my record with my xanga blog listed somewhere though I (hopefully) doubt the police took my mother too seriously. Also, keep in mind this was 6 years ago and I am no longer a dumb kid, I speak and type in proper grammatical sentences, and am definitely no longer a /firstworldproblem complainer.
TL;DR Mom finds out I had a blog as a kid, brings me to the police station where she tells everyone someone is going to come rape me because I chatted online and attempts to file police report.
Grieving is a difficult process that requires patience and care from one's partner, but is there a point at which it becomes obsessive and, for lack of a better term, f*cked up?
A pregnant wife posted on "Am I The A**hole?" asking if she's a heartless jerk for not letting her husband name their baby after his dead best friend. A baby name is a big deal, and she's worried about her husband's well-being and the pressure it could put on the child.
She opened by explaining the circumstances of the tragic death and her husband's grieving process that's been a bit............strange:
My husband and his late best friend “Tom” (not a real name) had been friends since childhood, they were extremely close. Tom died due to a parkour accident. Tom was an amazing person, he was incredibly kind and warm-hearted and if the circumstances were different I’d absolutely want to honor him.
Tom loved parkour, which my husband also did with him, but he stopped doing it after we got married five years ago. His greatest regret is not being able to be with Tom during the accident so he could’ve called for help or been with him during his last moments. Now, he’s taken up parkour at an obsessive level as if he wants to make up for it. He’s gone to do parkour at hours everyday, we spend virtually no time together, and he even brought up wanting to quit his job to be a full time parkour YouTuber. He’s convinced himself that him quitting parkour was the reason Tom died. I’ve begged him to see a grief counselor but he says he doesn’t have the time for it. Everyday he comes home with new injuries, and I’m so scared I’m going to lose him the way Tom died.
If you're not familiar with parkour, let Jim explain it to you and Dwight, Andy, and Michael demonstrate.
Jumping off of buildings is incredibly unsafe. Rather than avoid the circumstances that killed his best friend, the husband is leaning into it, and his wife is understandably concerned, and very, very pregnant.
He wasn’t very involved in my pregnancy for the first four months which makes sense because he was grieving but once he found out we were having a boy, he’s been incredibly enthusiastic but it feels like he’s thinking of our son as Tom’s reincarnation. It sounds crazy, but he’ll force me to eat lamb chops at least twice a week, even though I hate lamb, because it was Tom’s favorite food and he’s convinced the baby loves it. He’ll play this band I absolutely despise that him and Tom loved and put the speaker right on my belly. He’ll reminisce about his memories with Tom while talking to the baby.
My husband is naturally close to Tom’s mom, and it’s like she’s in on it too. She gave us all of Tom’s childhood stuff and keeps telling me stories about Tom’s childhood but in a way that sounds like she’s expecting my baby to be Tom. I feel like I’m going crazy because I can’t tell anyone I know that I think my husband thinks our son is tje reincarnation of his dead friend. My husband also keeps talking about how he’s going to teach our son parkour and they’re going to do all these stunts together and relive all the things he and Tom did, which I said no to. My husband is an adult, I ultimately have no control over his hobbies, but I don’t want my son to do something that dangerous. I’ve seen the injuries my husband have sustained and I know how Tom died. My son is not doing that.
The wife finally put her foot down and said "no, the baby is not a reincarnation of your best friend and will not be treated as such." Her mother-in-law thinks she's heartless, and her husband started cursing at her.
We’ve been fighting for the last two weeks because no shit, he wants to name our son Tom and I finally put my foot down and I said absolutely no way. I didn’t say this to him, but I feel like I’d go absolutely fucking crazy if my husband not only treated my son like his dead friend but literally called him by his name. His mom called me and said I was a bitter woman who was jealous of a dead man. My husband said I was a bitch and I never liked Tom which is why I won’t do the bare minimum to honor him. I feel like I’m going insane.
That sounds lonely. And crazy.
While her family may be against her, strangers on the internet are sympathetic, declaring her to be Not The A**hole.
"NTA (Not The A**hole) - it's more than a name, its an obsession. You need to get him help and if he refuses, you need to leave. Delusional behavior like this is dangerous to bring a new baby into," SourSkittlezx ruled.
Commenters concurred that what her husband is experiencing is more than just grief. Someone proposed that the woman tell her husband that she'd consider the name if he goes to therapy.
Other members of the Reddit jury have gone as far as suggesting that she separate from her husband until he gets the delusions under control, as this is not a safe situation for a baby, whether or not they like lambchops.
Another theory is that the husband could be experiencing survivor's guilt or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the tragic loss.
Everybody should go to therapy. Everybody in this story, and also everybody in the world.
