The monotony of going to work day after day can be mind-numbing at times, which is why those rare weird days at work can be their own form of respite.

Having a bizarre customer roll through with their wobbly brain and unhinged behavior, or finding out a salacious truth about a coworker can spice up an otherwise Sysphean workplace. If you're lucky, it provides you with a story to tell for years to come.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the weirdest thing that's happened at work, and it truly runs a range from funny to puzzling.

1. From OP:

I work at Arby's. Today, someone tried to steal a urinal.

I also used to work at Dairy Queen, where someone once came in and threw up in the lobby as a "prank". People are weird.

2. From oh_the_humidity:

I used to work at an advertising agency. I came in on a Saturday using my key and passcode. The building was empty except for the melodious sounds of pornography floating from one of the vice president's offices. It was definitely a recording of people having sex. I feebly called out "Hello?" and the porn ceased. I then heard two male voices talking rapidly and one of them goes "Who's there?" I immediately fled, locking the door behind me.

3. From blacxthroat:

A schizophrenic woman brandished a Christmas tree at me like a weapon.

4. From RandianHero:

When I was a paramedic, I saw a guy who compulsively saved every bowel movement and urine sample he had for an entire year. When we arrived on the scene, his house was brimming with jars full of urine or feces -- and he was running out of room.

5. From No_Easy_Buckets:

I worked at a theme park. We weren't supposed to let drunk people on rides but I was 16 so when I loaded the three guys I thought it was funny. They got on a teacup ride. It's not an open-top teacup, it has a large backing, it's kind of like a really big upright open coffin with a bar to strap in. For three people. Also, unlike other teacups, this ride traveled over uneven surfaces. These dudes yacked over probably half the surface area of this ride before I got to the emergency shutoff.

6. From viola3458:

We found a random two-year-old in our school library a couple weeks ago.

7. From theslowwonder:

To keep this Arby's-themed, when I worked there a homeless man once came in with a police officer. He informed the cop and my manager that he wanted to sue us for food poisoning. He explained that after his meal he went to the restroom and saw on the shelf beside the sink what he believed to be a "nice treat to end his meal". Instead, he took a bite of red gel air-freshener. His mouth started burning so he had to take the bus to the emergency room.

He only wanted money for the bus and $50 for the ER, but the cop just told him "I think they should sue you for eating their air freshener."

8. From Svenly1:

I'm a customer service team leader for a large grocery chain in the south. One night, our manager in charge was the manager for our grocery department, and I was in charge of the customer service personnel. Essentially, we are glorified cashiers that can count tills and are at least remotely respected by customers. One night, around 9:15, a nondescript gentleman enters the store and heads to the restroom. Absolutely NOTHING unusual at all. Happens all the time. Anyway, I'm helping a cashier bag at her register when an ungodly wailing scream comes from the men's restroom.

Assuming someone is dying, or at least severely hurt, I rush into the bathroom. Thankfully, I had the foresight to glance into the mirror before truly entering the restroom. From the mirror I saw the gentleman that had entered the store in an unlocked bathroom stall standing on a toilet, completely nude and masturbating furiously. During his masturbation, he is staring at the ceiling and screaming.

I immediately paged our MIC and called the police. He was arrested for lewd and lascivious activity.

9. From ChellaBella:

I worked in the bakery of a buffet. A woman flagged me down while I was walking to the kitchen and asked for doggie bags. I nicely explained that I'd get her the boxes/bags for take-out but since it was a buffet they'd be charged for any food they take home, etc....she interrupts me, saying "No, we don't need the boxes, just bags. Last time we ate here we all ate so much we got sick on the ride home and need something to throw up in if it happens again."

...Why? Just, WHY?

10. From hp94:

My friend spent 6 months working as a security guard. He said he was only stationed at a bank two times, and it was silently robbed each time. It turns out bank robberies are extremely common compared to how often it's reported (bad for business for banks), since they only tell the media if there was a big scuffle or the guy was caught (which they almost never are).

11. From zimmer199:

I work in a lab. At the time we had a post-doc who was very, very religious who spent most of his time in our microscope room. One day my coworker went to look at something on the computer in that room, and he saw porn on the computer. Now, as I said before, the guy who usually used that computer was not the type you would think would be looking at smut, so we thought something was up or he was secretly less goody-goody. This happened a few times, but one time my coworker found a crack pipe next to the computer. we confronted our post-doc about it, and he legitimately had no idea what it was or why there was porn on the computer. It was actually kind of funny to watch him flip his shit and get disgusted.

We alerted the authorities and they investigated. It turned out that one of the custodians was coming into our lab and smoking crack while jacking off.

The custodian was fired.

12. From Disabled_:

Caught an 8-year-old pooping on the floor at a grocery store I worked at. It's one of those things you don't expect to catch in the act, and perhaps would have been better to simply deal with the mess.

13. From 13kat13:

When I was a volunteer worker at an animal shelter there was this young, chunky dude who tried to walk out with a bunch of tiny kittens shoved in his sweatshirt.

14. From ronearc:

My first job was at a law firm. I was 18, the secretary was in her mid-20s (and quite attractive). One day she complained of an ache in her neck/shoulders. I offered (without any ulterior motive) to give her a brief shoulder rub.

She accepted, so I started rubbing her shoulders. I'm really just being polite and gentlemanly, I'm not thinking anything about it. Then, about 3-4 minutes into it, she squirms in her chair, lets this low moan escape her lips, then mutters, "This is a great way to get a girl out of her shirt."

Suddenly, she snaps out of it, sits straight up in her chair - at which point I stop and back up - and she says a curt, "Thank you."

After that, I could just give her a smile, and she'd blush so hard.

May not be that weird compared to urinal thievery, but for an 18-year-old, that was very strange.

15. From ImNotJesus:

I work for a company that makes reports about medical incidents. We had a call from a nurse who gave the wrong medication because "spirits" told her to. She could see the patient's dead father floating over the bed, telling her to give a different medication.

16. From IcontroltheKarma:

I am a bartender. For awhile I worked at a very eclectic New Orleans themed bar with odd trinkets everywhere. This is my best story from that bar.

I was by myself behind the bar one day after a very loud band had just finished a set. It was probably 1am. I was ready to stop serving but I saw that there was still a lot of cleaning up to do so when two Mexicans (I’m not weird it’s relevant) who seemed fairly polite came and sat at the bar I served them some drinks. They paid me and tipped me well. At this time my bar has about 10 people in it 5-6 of them at the bar a couple of which are too drunk to serve. I got back to cleaning until I heard an offhanded racist remark from one of my customers to the Mexican gentleman next to him.

I interjected immediately and told him I won't stand for any of that. He responded by saying something off-handedly racist. I went around the bar and got between. At this moment the other Mexican man who had not been a part of the exchange at all Captain Morgan poses up on my bar and grabs a 20inch rooster we have for decoration (I told a lot of weird things at this bar)

Well, I am confused. The man starts wilding the rooster like a weapon. He swings it at me and I step back. He holds the rooster ready to strike pointed at me telling me he is going to bash my head in. Not 2 minutes prior this guy had just tipped me 25%. He swings the ceramic rooster and I dodge. He runs out of the bar rooster underhand, and I follow in hot pursuit.

I only had to run one block before I saw a cop car that I flagged down. The cops drove after and caught the guy only after he threw and shattered the rooster.

The cops came to the bar and took a report from everyone who witnessed and when they finally left my friend who had been there the whole time just turns to me and says, "Man you are such a cockblock."

That’s one of the weirdest things that has happened at my work.

17. From nakajogeek:

Someone tried to steal an 80 inch HDTV today. When I say "steal", I mean drag the box from the back to the front of the store (without a cart) towards the door. He was honestly surprised that we caught him.

18. From viveron:

I used to work at a frozen yogurt store where we weigh the yogurt and people put toppings etc. So some kid decided to lift the bucket of sprinkles and shower himself in them. I didn't even get angry. I just felt tired instantaneously and hoped I was infertile.

19. From abyinak:

When I worked at AT&T a little person came in with his mom, he was about 33 years old, and FOR THE RECORD, we verified he was not mentally challenged apparently he just had a sick sense of humor and thought it would be funny to whip out his penis and urinate on the floor of the store. The day I finally quit, It seemed like a tempting idea, I could see why he would think that is funny but for different reasons of course.

20. From swampskater:

I used to work in a computer lab on a college campus. My job was to enforce rules: no food, drink, tobacco, or talking on your phone. I tell this one girl she needs to use her phone in the hallway instead of talking on it in the lab. She brushes me off. I tell her again and she gives me an evil eye. I get my supervisor who tells her the same thing. Girl gives my supervisor lip and get's permanently banned from the lab. Next thing we know, the cops show up and tell us the girl called them because we kicked her out. We all had a good laugh.

While there are plenty of less-than-ideal places to choose to abandon your manners, there is a pretty high, standard expectation that people will behave themselves at a funeral.

Funerals are rightfully somber, nostalgic events and it's not appropriate to cause a scene or decide that a group of mourning family and friends wearing black to honor someone's life is the perfect backdrop for your glamorous "funeral selfie." Still, we all unfortunately have some stories where a funeral attendee took it upon themselves to behave in the worst possible way.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen someone do at a funeral?" people were ready to share the most memorable funeral faux pas they've ever witnessed.

1.

Her ex told us about all the great things she did in bed and what a loss for mankind that is. - Schmackerich

2.

He handed out his business cards at his stepdaughter’s funeral. There was very nearly a fistfight! - 010137

3.

My nan told my dad at his own father's funeral that her pain was much greater because she had lost a husband, while he had only lost his dad. As if grief is a competition. - lanidvah

4.

A few years back, when the uncle of my mother died my young cousin (8) cried a lot at the funeral. It took some time but eventually he calmed down and his parents went for a little walk with him for some distraction.

But then he noticed that his first name was written on one of the tombstones. He mentions it loudly and one of the bystanders said: ''Yeah its already reserved for you''.

He immediately started crying again... - firedexo

5.

My husband went to his great aunt's funeral and while they did the little ceremony in the cemetery, great aunt's granddaughters were all hiding behind a tombstone giggling and doing coke. - YaDrunkBitch

6.

My uncle was pissed about something in my grandmother's Will. So during the funeral, he went out to the parking lot and keyed everyone's car. It should be noted, he has severe brain injury from a motorcycle accident that causes him to be constantly angry and paranoid. Still... - PancakeExprationDate

7.

My aunt crawled into her father's open casket - TK_Games

8.

My Mother in Law took a photo of a wine glass during the lunch we had after, and she posted it on Facebook. Guess what her caption was?

“Life is Grand.”

It was my mother’s funeral. - kellywithayy

9.

My Mom passed 2 days before my first child was born. I didn’t get pregnant again till 11 years later so I was 5 months pregnant with my second child when my Father passed. Someone came up to me at the funeral and said to me, “ You should stop having kids, it’s bad luck for your family” - Karma_Cookie

10.

The gentleman had a large family and all of his siblings got up and made it all about themselves, dredged up old family drama, made it clear that they resented his wife, etc. It was so painfully awkward. - Abbreviations-Odd

11.

At my father's funeral, one of my aunts asked my mom when would she get out of the house. - ELMIsterBoda

12.

Selfie with the corpse. - rabidoverlord

13.

My uncle died and at his funeral my cousin (his son) was crying. Some old timer uncle came up to him and said “stop crying you’re a man you’re embarrassing us”. I never wanted to slap someone at a funeral more than at that moment. - Introvertedpanic

14.

A local boy died after being hit by a car while riding his bike. I think he was like 11/12 at the time. His sister, known to all to be very attention seeking, immediately was doing news interviews which just seemed odd, considering he had died earlier that day, but whatever, people grieve differently I suppose. But then at his wake, she took a few photos of him in the casket and posted it to her public Instagram story. It was super bizarre and just bad taste. - Basic_Priority

15.

Someone said, "I'm sorry for your loss, move on." - kormer

16.

Not at a funeral but a cousin of mine had drunken sex with a woman in the toilets at a family members wake. - TheToddZombie

17.

Cellphone rang. Song: "Highway to Hell" - Hey_just_a_writer

It's been a minute since Jimmy Fallon tweeted out one of his famous "hashtag challenges." But luckily for Twitter, and humanity at large, The Tonight Show host has revived the tradition. Today he asked his followers to "ruin a TV show" by adding one word.

Turns out one word can transform your favorite TV show into something very, very different. Here are the 34 of the funniest and most creative TV-ruining responses:

1.)

2.)

3.)

4.)

5.)

6.)

7.)

8.)

9.)

10.)

11.)

12.)

13.)

14.)

15.)

16.)

17.)

18.)

19.)

20.)

21.)

22.)

23.)

24.)

25.)

26.)

27.)

28.)

29.)

30.)

31.)

32.)

33.)

34.)

Your memories of high school—you know, the parts you haven't repressed—may seem weird in retrospect. Remember having to wake up at the crack of dawn to be at the mercy of teachers who control when you can and can't go to the bathroom?

In high school, what you think is normal is strange, and what you think is strange is normal.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

These memes are for anyone who is utterly obsessed with true crime. If you're one of those people who relax by learning about serial killers and have a passion for cold cases, you will definitely relate to these hilarious true-crime memes.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is better when you're laughing. These hilarious memes expertly nail the highs and lows of wedded bliss. Relationships are not always perfect, but at least, there is always something (or someone) to laugh at.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

"An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh."

-Tom Nansbury

You won't forget to laugh today thanks to these hilarious memes. Each one will bring a little silliness to your morning. Negativity, be gone!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Are we all 100%-swear on our dog's life-completely absolutely positive that it's not still March?

2020 has definitely been an "interesting journey" if we were describing it as a contestant on "The Bachelor" and a "full blown nightmare from the depths of spiky wet hell" if we were being honest with ourselves. Just when we thought we were tackling a global health crisis and flattening the curve, 2020 just found more ways to just pile on to the chaos. Remember when we could just simply ask someone "how are you" as a way of being polite? Don't do that in 2020 or you'll be standing six feet away from a masked stranger telling you how they never figured out was sourdough starter is and they haven't seen another human since winter.

So, when Twitter discovered that tomorrow is indeed, August 1st, nobody handled it well. If you're having a hard time accepting the fact that we've almost spent half a year communicating with our friends on Zoom, you're not alone. Here are the funniest Tweets from people who are not accepting that it's August already. Enjoy!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

July was a hot month. Both from the heat of the sun and the savage burns posted by people who have been stuck in their homes for five months. The internet is full of insults, most of them just straight-up mean, but every so often you stumble upon a gem that's so clever and true, you can't help but laugh.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7,

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

One of the best parts of babysitting is digging into all the delicious snacks and beverages, preferably after the kids go to bed.

In ideal babysitting situations, the parents purchase snacks specifically for the babysitter, and there's an open understanding that everything is fair game (within reason).

Of course, the unspoken rule in these situations is that babysitters won't completely empty the fridge or get wasted on the clock. When those lines are crossed, the dynamic can quickly shift from open and trusting to tense as hell.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a mom asked if she was wrong for firing her babysitter for getting drunk on the job.

AITA for firing my babysitter for getting drunk on the job?

This is my throwaway account.

For context, OP shared that her babysitter is a huge fan of seltzer, so the family regularly stocked the fridge with it for months.

My (37F) babysitter (16F) has been babysitting for me for about 2 months. She’s a very sweet and quiet girl and is good with the kids (4F and 8M), we’ve only had small problems here and there but nothing major at all. When she first started babysitting for me I had asked her if there were any drinks or snacks that she’d like me to keep at the house as she’s here from 9-7 every day Monday through Saturday. She mentioned that she really liked seltzer water and I had bought them for the first month, but honestly I forgot after a while and never kept any in the fridge.

Recently, OP bought some hard seltzer for her and her husband, not thinking of a potential mix-up.

A few hours after her shift started, OP received a call from their babysitter - who felt sick and needed to go home.

A few days ago I bought hard seltzers for me and my husband, and didn’t think anything of it. A little bit after 2 pm she messaged me that she wasn’t feeling well and thought that she may have to go home, if it was possible if I could get off from work earlier. I asked her to try and hold out until the end of the day. Not too long after she called me crying, saying that something was wrong and she had to go home.

It was clear the babysitter was drunk, and it wasn't until the next day that the babysitter connected the dots and messaged OP to share that she has PTSD connected to alcohol, and never drinks.

She was drunk clearly, she drank the hard seltzers. I told her to leave and she walked home. She messaged me the next day and said that she now knew that hard seltzers were alcohol, and she hadn’t know, she never drank before as both of her parents were alcoholics and she has diagnosed PTSD regarding alcohol, she never planned on drinking in general.

OP fired the babysitter and told her to find a real job, but now her husband thinks she was being too harsh, especially given the fact that the babysitter called them right when she started to feel drunk.

I told her not to come back as she put my children in danger. She called me crying and saying that she didn’t know, and that she cared deeply about my children and would never ever drink with them, or at all, and that she needs the money to pay for her drivers permit (she comes from a not so well-off family). I told her to find a real job and that it wasn’t my fault she got drunk. My husband says I’m being very rude and that she did try to reach out when she wasn’t feeling well. My kids are upset to see her go. So reddit, AITA?

Ehhlnoy thinks OP was a major jerk, and pointed out that hard seltzer is relatively new, so it would be hard for a sober 16-year-old to spot.

You're an ungodly a*shole. Those seltzers are newish in the alcohol world and I wouldn't expect someone who hates alcohol to know that. How mature of her to let you know. How immature of you to do what you did. YTA.

sheramom4 pointed out multiple ways in which OP was lacking in empathy.

YTA.

This young woman works 60 hours a week (I hope you are paying her very very well for that), you asked her about snacks or drinks and then "forgot" for awhile, she saw what looked like seltzer water and made a mistake. And for all of her hard work you told her to get a real job?

She also immediately called you and said she wasn't feeling well and your response was for her to stick it out for the day? What is wrong with you? Oh and you also made her walk home in the state. Which just adds to TA of all of this.

sphinxhonor pointed out that in any other scenario, a drunk babysitter would merit termination, but this is a completely different situation.

YTA

These are very unique circumstances, because in literally ANY other case of intoxicated childcare worker, you’d be right. But she did every single thing properly in trying to be a good childcare provider. She reached out to you the moment things got weird and she didn’t feel entirely stable. Honestly, if we’re being literal here and following the course of events, you’re the one who put your children in danger. She asked to go home and requested you take over a bit soon, and you told her no, and in that moment when you said no you became the reason your kids were around an intoxicated childcare provider longer than they had to be.

She didn’t know, she needs the money, she’s done a good job and your kids love her. She followed all the protocol for being vigilant of her physical and mental status in regards to keeping the children safe, and that’s rare to find. She’s an excellent sitter, and you should rehire her and honestly apologize.

MsBaseball34 hopes the babysitter finds a new, kinder boss.

YTA. Big time. First of all, she's working 10 hour days 6 days a week - that's 60 HOURS. For a 16-year-old. Then you "forgot" to get her seltzer and put hard seltzers in the fridge. Did you ask her if she knew the difference? She sounds like a great kid who made a mistake. She's lucky she's done with such a horrible boss.

Dekar17 fully blames OP for what happened.

YTA - She didn't know that hard seltzer water contained alcohol, she drank it, started not feeling well (maybe she didn't know what getting drunk feels like) and called you, you ignored, she tried to remain calm, drank some more, got really drunk, called you for help once again, and you fired her. You put two kids in danger, not her.

After being properly called out by the internet, OP jumped back on the post to admit she sees her faults, and share that she plans to hire her babysitter back with a much higher salary.

Edit: okay guys, I’m the a*shole. I see it now. Thank you. I’ll hire her again.

Edit #2: I will pay her $1500 a week from now on. And pay for her permit and test. As well as her license test.

This is proof that sometimes the opinions of internet strangers can be a force for good.

How do you keep a marriage spicy in 2020? Apparently, you take your gripes and stories and observations to social media and spin them into comedic gold. Marriage isn't always easy. So you may as well get some laughter and retweets out it!

Here are 40 of the funniest tweets of the past month from married people about the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of marriage:

1.)

2.)

3.)

4.)

5.)

6.)

7.)

8.)

9.)

10.)

11.)

12.)

13.)

14.)

15.)

16.)

17.)

18.)

19.)

20.)

21.)

22.)

23.)

24.)

25.)

26.)

27.)

28.)

29.)

30.)

31.)

32.)

33.)

34.)

35.)

36.)

37.)

38.)

39.)

40.)

It's always an awkward moment when you share a habit or quirk of yours with a group of friends only to learn that it's not at all a normal way to behave...

Sometimes as children we develop a routine that seems normal simply because we've been doing it for so long, but then you grow up and learn that nobody else eats cereal with a straw while counting to 60. Whether it takes you years to discover you're a freak for putting lemon juice in your shampoo or your parents discover their kid is very confused about how life works, we all have at least one behavior that we're convinced is "normal" and just isn't. Remember the raisins in potato salad controversy?

So, when a Reddit user asked, "What's something you've always done that you've considered perfectly normal, only to recently discover that it was not?" people were definitely ready to share their weird habits.

1.

When I was younger I hated pasta sauce. So when we ate pasta, I would grab butter and melt the butter in the pasta, and then mix in cinnamon. I did it all the time and it became normal for my family. Then I went to a friends house and asked for cinnamon when they were serving pasta for dinner. Everyone watched me like I was a science experiment as I prepared, and then ate my cinnamon pasta. - Supaslags

2.

I HAVE to wiggle my feet to fall asleep. - Joyfulee

4.

I iron my pillowcases. - buffywho

5.

I talk to myself out loud when no one is around. No one knows. - BlindCurve

6.

It takes me 1-2 hours of laying in bed to fall asleep. Lights off, no distractions; every time 1-2 hours. - lookslikeabear

7.

When eating Doritos I check both sides of the chip and then the side with more flavor goes face down on my tongue. - Tandran

8.

I realized an American thing that was not accepted when I moved there. I come from Norway and here it isn't a big thing to ask how much money you make. It was only after a few discussions and a couple of drunken nights in the US that I figured out that this was a big no no. I must have sounded like the biggest as*hole. - PhoenixLancer

9.

When you get cheese/salami at the deli and the worker offers you the slice, I'd grab it and eat it.

I never realized they were just asking you if the slice thickness was ok by looking with your eyes.. and not with your mouth. - [deleted]

10.

I put maple syrup in my milk, in my cereals, in my yogurt, in my coffee (Yes, I am Canadian) - Awesomepossum17

11.

Brushing my teeth in the shower... Apparently people dont do this. Its such a time saver! - [deleted]

12.

I like to put toothpaste on my toothbrush then wet it with water, learned that not everyone does it. - zerozx31

13.

Eat dry pasta. I've been known to just start munching on four or five strands of dry spaghetti at a time. I'm currently snacking on rotini. It took until college for me to realize that this is not at all normal, and that people stop and stare when they hear the loud crunching sounds. - robogeek

14.

I eat the core of an apple - mur216

15.

Putting chips inside a meat-and-cheese sandwich. People often find this weird, but it is the best thing ever because it provides some crunch. - cathysaurus

16.

Eat popcorn with a spoon. - [deleted]

17.

I only type lol when I am actually laughing out loud. - bnuuug

18.

My ex roommate brought her boyfriend home one night. They worked in the same restaurant. She was a server, he worked in the kitchen as a dish washer.

One night, not unlike any other, they come in and I've just been watching stuff on Netflix in my bedroom. I catch this distinct smell in the air.

I walk out of my bedroom, go into the bathroom, get a band-aid from the closet, and hand it to her boyfriend.

"What's that for?" My roommate asks.

"He's bleeding." I reply.

Her boyfriend looks around, confused, and then rolls up his sleeve to reveal a minor scrape on his forearm from where a plate had shattered in his hands. There was a small amount of blood running from the wound. - DeuceActual

19.

French fries with honey. - green072410

There's a lot of pressure on weddings to be "perfect" and "the best day of your life," which tends to be a recipe for melodrama when things don't go exactly as planned. But when you gather everyone you know in one location with food, booze, and cripplingly high expectations, something is bound to go wrong. But as long as you end up married at the end of it—that should be considered a successful wedding.

Someone asked married people of Reddit: "everyone says no wedding ever runs perfectly, what happened at yours?" These 22 people share stories of weddings that didn't go exactly as planned:

1.) From SoConfused_Again:

Our wedding was on a beach. One of our teen nephews was filming it for us. There are a number of times during our vows where the camera is not on us at all and you can't hear us talking. This is because a woman in the water (waist deep) next to us was watching. She was topless. So he kept panning towards her, and his mom kept telling him to knock it off.

We didn't know this until we played it back (at our reception back home) for the whole extend family and all our friends that couldn't make it. Made for a bit of an embarrassing time for him when it played.

2.) From kirschpesto:

Not my wedding, but my parents,

The day before their wedding, the vicar of our small town church presiding over the thing had a complete psychological collapse, went missing for nearly 3 days and was found, gollum like, in a wheat field, nobodies quite sure why, but people who knew him said it was going to happen eventually, otherwise, the whole thing went very smoothly

3.) From BullZEye0506:

Our wedding actually went pretty smooth, there were really only 3 issues.

1. we got married in October and were meant to take photos between the ceremony and reception among the fall colors... But, like Alanis morisette predicted, it rained, so we had to scramble and ended up taking pictures in a flower nursery, was still nice.

2. for a tradition at polish weddings there's a presentation of bread, wine, and a coin from the parents to the newlyweds, two of my cousins were meant to kind of explain it as we went through, and one of them got SLOPPY drunk. Like words slurring, face flush, she almost knocked my mother-in-law over as she pushed her way to the front for her part of the speech. Fortunately, we recovered and that was very brief.

3. we didn't even know about this one until we got back to the hotel, but my wife's cousin nearly threw hands with another cousin because the second cousin was trying to invite some random dude to the wedding so she could f*ck him, the first cousin found out, pulled her out of the hall and said something to the effect of "you will not ruin this wedding for MY cousin because you're just trying to get some dick. If you want dick that bad fucking leave or I'm gonna fuck you up myself." Very contained, actually pretty helpful. Thank you Becky!

4.) From DanHam117:

We planned to do a photo guestbook, my wife bought a Polaroid camera and a ton of film for it and left it right at the front of the venue entrance with a little card explaining the idea of the photo guestbook. It was supposed to be a series of pictures of our friends and families instead of just a list of names. For whatever reason the first person through the doors thought it was part of a gift bag for him or something and he just took the camera and kept it for the rest of the night. We didn’t know about this until about 2 hours into the reception when we were making our rounds to all the tables and he said “yeah I found this cool camera at the front, it prints out the picture right away” and we realized we weren’t going to have a guestbook. We eventually got the camera back but it just had pictures of this one guy and the people sitting immediately near him

5.) From FhaeShine:

Invited over 50 people and 10 showed up. Then I forgot my veil, then the ring wasn't tied down to the pillow so the ring bearer launched it across the room and we had to go find it before we walked down the isle. Then it was balls cold outside so I had to freeze my ass off in 30 degree weather and a corset type dress drying not to die of hypothermia.

Pics came out really good though

6.) From markedmo:

My wife and I had 2 weddings (her dad got sick just after we got engaged so we had a small family wedding, he died a couple months later then we had the big wedding as planned a year later).

First wedding we sat our mothers at the same table - they got drunk together and had a lovely time complaining that the best men hadn’t complimented the bridesmaids enough.

We split them up for the second wedding (vow renewal).

Both weddings went really well - second one was super chill for us as we’d been married for over a year by that point.

The only drama I can remember from the second one was that my wife had a nosebleed at one point, a drop got on her dress while we were doing photos. The photographer was clearly used to this so gave the pro tip that she had to spit on a tissue to wipe it first, then water to dab it. Apparently there’s enzymes or something in your own spit that can break down your own blood. It worked.

7.) From LMucheng:

My mom lost all the photographs.

My husband and I eloped. The only people that were there were me, my husband, the officiant, and the witnesses, one of which was my mother. She also took pictures, went to the car, and...dropped the SD card in an area they couldn't ever get it out.

So...to this day, I have no pictures of me in my wedding dress.

8.) From hymie0:

Mine wasn't bad at all. I only remember two issues.

The matron of honor got food poisoning the night before, so she didn't attend and my best man (her husband) left right after the ceremony. The maid of honor had taken her dress to a horrible seamstress who just cut off the bottom four inches from her dress, with zero regard for the frilled design on the hem. Fortunately, she (mostly) fit into the matron-of-honor's unused dress.

My best man wasn't there to help me put on my tuxedo (sick wife). While putting on the jacket, I popped a button. Not knowing what else to do, I drove to a CVS, still in full formal attire, and told a worker "My wedding is in two hours, my brain is frazzled, could you please lead me by the nose to a sewing kit?" We looked in three places until she determined that they didn't have any. I drove to the wedding hall, to find that my grandmother had a sewing kit in her purse. Button fixed.

Coming up on 17 years.

Oops, one more.

The bride was supposed to promise to be my wife according to "the laws of Moses and the faith of Israel." Instead, she said "the face of Israel." So sometimes I remind her that she didn't marry me, she married Benjamin Netanyahu.

9.) From tea_is_better:

His family was late and missed the ceremony. They lived about an hour away from the venue, which we kept in state and close to them to make it easier on them (vs the sunset ceremony at Red Rocks we originally planned), and they even got a hotel room closer to be extra sure they'd get there on time with no issues. What a way to kill the day. We waited almost an hour for them to arrive, no communication, he had to call them repeatedly to see where they were. It was at a big tourist spot we had reserved a smidge before opening time for the ceremony, and had to proceed when the tour buses started arriving. Our venue reservation also got us all breakfast, which no one had time to attend due to the late ceremony. We barely had time to go back to our guest lodge and change and pack everything up to get checked out on time, otherwise we would have been charged an entire extra day of lodging. Apparently they were so hungry and so upset that they didn't get breakfast that they stopped at McDonald's on the way to the reception, which meant the four of them didn't eat anything at the reception. Which had all of twelve people. So lots of wasted food and hurt feelings.

10.) From qatest:

Church caught fire before the ceremony. Fortunately it was a small fire and my wife got some nice pictures in her dress with the firefighters

11.) From dontcallmesugar91:

One of my bridesmaids started crying after my daddy daughter dance because her dad was sick and she would never get to dance with him at her wedding. I had to stop my dance and console her for a full hour.

Also the dinner service forgot that we had ordered vegetarian meals and almost a dozen guests didnt eat anything and I had to order them pizza from a local restaurant

12.) From CornSama:

My mother-in-law, who has a history of mental illness and a not so great relationship with my wife, decided that she should give a speech at the reception after I gave one. It was not planned, and she's not a natural born speaker. It was extremely awkward, was 99% about herself with barely a mention of my wife and I, and very much killed the remaining energy. It was sort of the catalyst for people to start leaving. Went out on a low note, but was still a wonderful day

13.) From Shrikeangel:

Jokes on you, court house weddings run awesome.

14.) From olde_greg:

My wife’s brother volunteered to be in charge of the music. Only he didn’t think we would go through with it so he didn’t prepare anything

15.) From Reverend_Laton:

My officiant pulled a ghost (we think he got locked up protesting water rights for native Americans, so he was okay by us).

Had my best man get ordained online, shifted dudes one step over, and continued as planned!

16.) From PlayTheHits:

We got off easy, just a few cousins showed up stoned out of their minds.

17.) From keikla:

I'll do a funny one and a serious one:

Funny - our cake had navy blue piping and it turned everyone's mouths black. Our flower girl was running around saying she was "the corpse bride".

Serious - my Dad said some pretty shitty stuff to my now husband right before the wedding. Like, so shitty that the best man almost punched my dad in the face. I'm glad I didn't find out about it until after the wedding, but it has forever changed my relationship with my father.

Other than that, everything was an absolute blast. We picked a ski resort in an off season so our wedding guests were basically the only ones at the entire place.

18.) From gaybatman75-6:

My aunt was a drunken mess and wondered off and got lost on the cruise ship right before the ceremony started.

19.) ​​​​​​​From el-es-nine:

At my wedding, my 12 year old cousin got locked out on a balcony and threw up on the people below. At my friend's wedding, just as the bride was about to come out, the fire alarm malfunctioned and went off for roughly 30 minutes.

20.) From WifeofTech:

Wedding ring didn't fit (Thank God I tried it on before the wedding. Cue emergency trip to the jewellers)

Brides maid in midnight blue gown mistakes spray deodorant for hair spray and coated herself in it just as we were leaving for the church. (Thankfully it didn't show)

Groomsman shows up hungover on a motorcycle with no muffler.

After the ceremony came a horse pulled carriage ride for myself and groom to a photo shoot then the reception. Me in full wedding gown marches across the lawn and threatens the very life of hungover groomsman if he tries to follow the carriage on that loud busted motorcycle. The ride to the photo shoot was peaceful but leaving the shoot, almost as soon as the horse's feet hits the road I hear the unmistakable roar of a motorcycle behind us. I tell husband that if groomsman is behind us he's a dead man. Husband looks behind us and can't help but laugh and say "it's not groomsman!" I look back to see a whole motorcycle gang lined up behind the carriage. (I don't know these people it just seems to be epically bad timing on our part) They proceed to follow us all the way to the reception hall despite passing multiple side roads they could have bypassed us on. Thankfully the horse was super well trained and used to traffic noise so only a tossing head and twitching ears gave away his annoyance at the situation.

My advice to anyone wanting to have a wedding is to expect something to go wrong and just laugh it off and go on. As long as you're married at the end of the day who cares about the minor stuff?

21.) ​​​​​​​From mtrash:

FIL got hammered 5 hours before the wedding and treated the catering company (my former employer) like shit and then proceeded to give what I deem to be one of the worst speeches (including belittling his daughter) before being yanked off the mic by my MIL. Thankfully my brother landed a bomb ass speech after and saved the evening.

22.) ​​​​​​​From dick-nipples:

I got too drunk and couldn’t “perform” on our wedding night

If you've ever watched "The Office," you are well-aware of what it means to have a Michael Scott boss.

Any boss who is known for deep cringe antics, casual racism laced with a deep need to be loved, festive office games that make no sense, PSAs that go off the rails, a creepy yet unthreatening regard for female employees, and a complete lack of competence qualifies as a Michael Scott boss.

There are added points for accuracy if your boss regularly uses puns, pulls pranks on employees, dresses up in costumes, and generally tries to meddle in the personal lives of employees. While Michael Scott's antics are equal parts hilarious and uncomfortable to watch on-screen, actually working for someone of that caliber is an even stranger experience.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who work for Michael Scott bosses shared their stories, and it's truly incredible there are so many real-life sitcom characters walking among us.

1. From LemonsofLifee:

He wanted a pomegranate for lunch and they were out of season, but that didn’t stop him from sending me on a quest to every grocery store in town in search of a pomegranate. Multiple produce guys laughed at me, but that was the easiest $13/hr I’ve ever made.

2. From outofprintluv:

My boss is certainly Michael Scott-esque. When I first started I was essentially Pam as well since I was both receptionist and his assistant to some extent. My favorite story was back when we were prepping for a conference. Some context, he’s terrible with the English language in general and will mangle phrases and descriptions to no end (how the tables turn).

So on a group call he kept talking about wanting a “golden hamster ball” to do giveaways with. Was raving about how great it would be spinning around while people walked by, all the while everyone on the call was just sitting in confused silence. However, by that point, I had become so good at decoding his nonsense that I knew he was referring to a gold raffle cage and sent him image privately asking if it’s what he was thinking. To this day he still talks about the fact I can read his mind and must be psychic. And he still refers to it as a hamster ball.

All in all he’s a pretty nice guy and a solid boss. Hired me based on a gut feeling and has been decent to me ever since. I think I knew it would be a good fit when during the interview he tried to tell me about the four pillars of the company and forgot one. Told me later it was Knowledge.

3. From Bolaixgirl_105:

I had a boss once who spent all morning locked in his office. He asked me to come in after lunch where he showed me a handmade graph. He then proceeded to explain that this was a chart of all the sex he had ever had in his life. "See, here it is blank until I joined the army. Then I went to a hooker here. Then they sent me to Vietnam where hookers only charged $2 per time. That's where you see the big jump. I was on two tours but then got shot in the face. I came back home and you see how it just drops to almost nothing. " I was astounded.

4. From RespectFar:

I had a redhead boss who made us all sit down and watch a training video about how we shouldn’t refer to him as a “ginger” because it is bullying.

No one had ever called him that.

5. From harperv215:

I had a boss that used to watch me through a gap in the glass partition between our desks. She wanted to see if I was paying attention during meetings. One day, I put a large folder to cover the gap and she freaked. I still laugh when I think about it.

6. From enlarged-tuna-fish:

Never have worked for one myself, but my dad told me a story about his boss who was giving out awards to everyone in honor of how long they've worked there, and he would give speeches for each person.

A woman employee received her award and he gave a speech about the story of how she came to work there. And he said, "At first I didn't want to hire her because she was so hot."

My dad's not working there anymore, but I love that story because I will never not picture Michael Scott giving Pam a Dundie and saying that about her.

7. From happydactyl31:

I used Michael Scott as a reference point for an old boss of mine from the moment I started working there. He made Chewbacca noises on the regular because one of my coworkers’ names sort of vaguely sounded like Chewbacca (it didn’t), used voice to text extremely loudly in his office for no reason to send really personal messages, got really excited and wore a specific vest any time we had after-work outings scheduled, shouted the same like 7 references to old movies and extremely awkward hip-hop song quotes 100 times a day, and insisted on greeting all our international coworkers very loudly in their language (they all speak perfect English, of course), looking around for approval afterward, and then fully giggling at everyone’s French accents on conference calls. He also told me a lot about an improv show he did for a full year after it happened.

That said - he had all the good parts too. He never hesitated go to the mat for any of us whether we deserved it or not, he gave really sage business advice and great examples of how to face challenges out of absolutely nowhere, and he came to every community play I did in the 4 years I worked for him - and told everyone else in the office how good I was in it for the following month and chastised them for not coming. When things really got serious or bad in my life, he couldn’t have been more kind, helpful, and supportive.

Honestly? Probably the best boss I’ll ever have.

8. From startinearly:

Had a boss who was very peculiar. For instance, he'd open a random closet, look at the stuff inside, then go on a tirade, "look at all this! Who bought all this crap?!?!" - "Uh, you did". "Oh. Well somebody needs to throw it away!" Constant stuff like this.

9. From mackenziefox55:

He organized a thoroughly awkward award ceremony once (that we never did again).

Asked a Mexican employee if his new baby’s name was going to be “No Mas” during the shower we threw for him.

Heard me once use the phrase “economy of scale,” then used it wrong 5 minutes later in a conversation with different people.

Didn’t know the meaning behind “Black Friday” and what it meant for a company to be “in the black.”

Just like Michael Scott, only more of a dick.

10. From holmen-2001:

My boss insisted his daughters be flower girls in my wedding. I declined. At the reception, he told me I was spending too much time talking to one person, and I need to work the room more.

11. From downloadedpizza:

My brother had two bosses at his first job that I think fit this. It was an old married couple that owned the gym across the street from us. Probably in their 70s when he started working there. The wife was from Germany and super strict, the husband was clearly losing it Some notable mentions are:

• When the husband combined bleach and ammonia to clean the hot tub and sauna room, tear-gassing my brother in the process.

• Wife insisted the street be swept once a week, this was my brothers task. Almost every single time, the husband would come out halfway through with a leaf blower and destroy any progress my brother had made.

• Husband would regularly sit in the sauna for way too long and have to be rescued by brother and coworkers.

• Brother opened every Saturday. They never gave him a key so he would have to hop the fence to get in.

There’s so many more but I know he’s asleep right now and I can’t ask him.

12. From PAzoo42:

I literally had a boss who would stop us in the middle of our work and hold company-wide meetings talking about 9/11 truther conspiracies and chemtrails. Mind you we were a furniture-making company. He would get so caught up in his conspiracy theories that he forgot to order wood to make furniture one month.

13. From lala710:

He held a meeting with our whole team minus one person to discuss said person being gay. We all knew for well over a year, and never made a deal of it. So yes, they are out there and that is why The Office is so funny to me. I can relate.

14. From cerulean03:

I had a manager at my previous job that really, really tried his best to be everyone’s BFF. He loved giving pep talks and thought he could raise our abysmal morale by being Mr. Positivity (note: morale was low because we were always buried in work and paid sh*t). He’d crack jokes, randomly burst into song and sneak up behind you to yell “you’re doing a great job!”

Unfortunately, he was also super incompetent at his job. He relied heavily on a junior colleague for help with technical stuff (they practically did his whole job for him), and spent days working on paperwork that should really only take an hour or two. If you had a problem, his answer was usually either to stare blankly at you until you left or to say “think positive and it’ll work itself out!”

The thing he did that I hated the most: whenever people would apply to work at the company, he’d print out the stack of resumes, sit at his desk and read aloud all of the parts he found “funny.” He’d laugh at people for working at McDonald’s or other fast food places. He loved finding grammar mistakes and making fun of them. If someone had a cringe-y objective statement, he’d guffaw over that too. This was all done loudly, and it was an open office so you couldn’t avoid hearing it. That definitely lowered morale too.

15. From represent_represent:

I worked for a woman as her “personal assistant/ cat sitter”. She was super rich and off the deep end nuts. She had me order a mannequin online, and then paid me to take one of the mannequin legs to Nordstrom to try and see what suitcase I could buy that would fit the dismembered mannequin body, because she wanted to fly with the mannequin to Pittsburgh to display “as her daughter”, dressed in her daughter’s clothes, at that daughter’s graduation celebration. buying the mannequin was a whole thing too. She kept trying to get me to order from “adult doll” websites because she didn’t get it. Lmao.

16. From Bananabreadandchill:

I once worked for a family company (not my family) where my boss often had loud fights with her husband, mother, and sister (an addict with a penchant for stealing) in the halls. I have a million wonderful stories about that work place but one that stuck out to me is this:

Once for someone’s birthday, she decided it would be fun to buy an anatomically correct, male blowup doll. She took this doll into the office, blew him up, and dressed him in a construction vest (the company was a contractor). When I walked by, my boss was trying to manipulate the position of the blowup dick, and asked me if I wanted to be the “fluffer.”

17. From Two_for_joy:

I had one and these are just a few quick stories:

He asked me how much I weighed during my interview.

One time he was considering selling the company to a Japanese company and while walking them around the building he was heard saying ‘we really bombed the hell out of you, huh?’

He got on the intercom and interrupted everyone by yelling for someone to bring him the football team’s schedule.

I have video of him telling a really cringy joke during a sales meeting. You could see at least one person covering their face in embarrassment

One time he told me to call his assistant and have her bring him a bag of coffee and his 5lb dumbbell.

He had a ‘secret’ facelift. He was mysteriously gone for 3 weeks and came back with a beard.

I ended up with a box of pictures from the 70s with an exotic dancer giving him a lap dance. In the conference room. Same furniture.

One time I watched his business partner go down the potluck line, tasting everything with the same fork. At the end of the line, he stuck his used fork into the cake. I haven’t eaten at a work buffet since.

Honestly, these are just the ones I immediately remember. It was 5 years of this.

Edit: this seemed relevant. One time he got new patio furniture and sent the guys from the shipping department to put it together at his house. Orders did not go out that day.

Edit 2: he had a huge closet where he’d hoard random sh*t. He was a total pack rat and his wife didn’t let him keep junk at home. I was looking for something one day and found a box labeled ‘watches with dead batteries.’ He saved an entire box of watches that he knew didn’t currently work, and also knew how to fix that. But instead, he just kept them in a box.

18. From paulfromatlanta:

Long ago, my 80-year-old boss pulled me into his office.

B: "Paul, I've noticed that your shirts come untucked and that looks unprofessional"

Me: I'm sorry about that Joel

B: I want you to start tucking your shirts into your underwear

Me: Uhhh...

B: Go ahead and try it now.

Me: Joel, you know I have 15 women who report to me - I can't undo my pants in the office.

B: Sure you can. Drops pants. He is 80 and wearing Spiderman underoos...

19. From trialobite:

My mom's boss was the head manager at an office job in suburbia, pretty similar number of employees and function to The Office in the show. He was in his late 40s at the time and invited himself to my mom's birthday party at our house one year. Basically was just my siblings and a few family friends meeting up to play cornhole and chat for a couple hours. He showed up in pastel blue shorts, a pink polo, and flip flops with a case of Natural Light.

He got hammered by like 9pm and started yelling at everyone. He saw a couple of our neighbors (younger guys) drinking next door and took the liberty to invite them over. Eventually, he ended up in a wrestling match with one of the neighbors in the living room, which he finished by lifting the neighbor up in the air and body slamming him directly onto our coffee table. His final act of the evening was sh*tting his pants in the kitchen and passing out on the linoleum.

20. From BigShoots:

We had an anonymous feedback program at work, and our boss was livid with the results, particularly with several comments that he frequently lost his temper in meetings and would yell at us.

The more he talked about how incorrect and unfair and hurtful these comments were, the redder and angrier he got, until he finally pounded the table and shouted, "I DO NOT! SCREAM! IN MEETINGS! OKAY?"

21. From homeschoolpromqueen:

Worked with a genuine Michael Scott: i.e. a nice, well-meaning person who just did some absurd things.

We had kidnapping drills one day, where we learned how to ‘not be kidnapped’. Notably, this was a regular, boring office in a regular, boring suburb. No reason why kidnapping would be on anybody’s radar...

He and several of the guys randomly broke out into a push-up contest. Again. White-collar office. Middle-aged dudes in khakis.

Couldn’t remember the nationality of our Hispanic colleague. Tried to “learn Spanish” to make her feel special when she returned from maternity leave. (1) What he learned was NOT Spanish, and (2) she was from Portugal. She knew like, five words of Spanish.

Disappeared for four days. No call. No email. Wouldn’t respond to any of our attempts to reach him. Finally, someone drove out to his house to make sure he was alive. He was. He’d just forgotten to tell us he was taking the week off and then lost his phone in a lake.

There were many, many moments like these. Great boss. Genuinely cared about everyone in the company. Occasional moments of brilliance, where he really got things done. But OMG, so many moments of ridiculousness.

"You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing."

-George Bernard Shaw

You might be getting older, but you don't have to get old! These memes will keep you laughing and keep you young at heart. Anyone over the age of 25 will relate to these jokes that perfectly nail the daily struggle of adulting.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Most public-facing jobs come with their fair share of bizarre stories and memorable customers. But few jobs rival the uniquely festive atmosphere of a theme-park, with it's costumed characters, large fantasy lands, excited children, and drunk parents.

On the best days, theme park jobs can be both entertaining and fulfilling as you watch children gasp in excitement and strange theatrics unfold all around you. But on the worst days, the job can be a terrifying look into just how debased people can be, and the depression levels can shoot through the roof.

In a popular Reddit thread, theme park workers shared their most memorable experiences on the job and they range from faith-in-humanity restoring to deeply tragic.

1. From jickdam:

Universal. A group of about a half dozen or so people who worked the front gate got a scam together. They would direct the massive amounts of Asian tour groups who didn't speak English directly through the entrance without stopping by the ticket booths. The front gate workers, who were just supposed to scan tickets, were collecting $100 per person who entered and splitting the daily loot among themselves.

When they got caught, they had over $100,000 stashed around the park's front plaza that they were taking out in stages. That was the money from a single weekend. After checking the camera records, they had been doing it for six months. All I know is that they gutted the whole front game team. No idea if they pressed charges.

Second, a guy snuck a gun into the park once after his girlfriend broke up with him and killed himself in front of her. Tragic stuff. The higher-ups redirected park traffic for a couple hours to clean up, ended up paying off everyone who witnessed it, and were able to keep themselves out of the news for the most part.

I do know they shut down the restaurant in the park where it happened specifically.

Also, on a happier note, Snoop Dogg occasionally comes into town, rolls by a boys home, orphanage, inner-city school, or something similar and personally brings a group of 20-30 broke kids to Universal for a day. He hangs out with them all day, lets them travel in a limo bus, the whole nine. It's never publicized. He's a great guy.

2. From A_Haggard:

Universal Studios was my first job as a teenager when the Harry Potter expansion came in. I got to be in the cast previews and all, it was an amazing time.

One of my fondest memories was on a slow day (everyone was waiting until the Wizarding World opened to come), and they did a super secret "soft" opening- as in, I got a tip off that they were allowing guests in to experience it, without telling any members of the press, before it officially opened.

This BIG family of Brits came up and I was so excited, I asked what they thought of Hogsmeade- they said "oh we're so sad, we're so silly, our vacation ends just before it opens!"

Even though they all gave this big lamentation, they were still so cheery, and chattering away saying hello to me, and I got flustered and just tried to get their attention so I went-

"Hey! You should cross that bridge and take a look!" And gave a big wink and kind of shooed then off.

They looked at me funny but kind of got the hint, and scurried away.

Hours later they came back just to find me and they were laughing with tears of happiness all around, saying they'd been let in and got to see everything, and thanking me for the tip.

I love Harry Potter and go back whenever I can with my theme park hookups, and that memory is just so lovely to me! I hope it was for them as well!

3. From njdeatheater:

Six Flags Great Adventure has a trailer park for their international workers not far behind Batman Stunt Arena.

The internationals throw awesome parties. People of all cultures just getting shitfaced together after work. As an 18-year-old supervisor, I was super cool with all the internationals, and would always be invited to their parties.

Normal employees were NEVER supposed to be back there.

Had to drunk fake an eastern European accent a few times to get out of trouble.

4. From manasniper:

I used to work at an outdoor adventure park and have seen some funny/stupid things happen.

This most memorable one. I remember a guest was once upset their child could not ride the zip-line. It was very windy that day and normal procedure was to raise our minimum weight limit so kids wouldn't get stuck. This dad did not like that I refused to put his light child on the line just to have to climb out to rescue him after he got stuck. After a series of yelling and cursing I called my manager/GM and he tried to calm this guy down by offering him vouchers or other attractions etc. None of this was good enough and apparently the 10-second ride was going to be better than close to $145 worth of free stuff. After 10 minutes of him getting very angry he insisted that I (the kid who refused to let his son go) meet him in the parking lot to “settle this”.

My boss responded by calling security. This enraged the guy so much he tried to jump over the rope to get to the deck (landing platform for the zipline) where I was. Little did this idiot know - the rope was there to stop people from stepping into the gap between the deck and anchors that held the lines down. Well, mister angry jumped over the rope fists up ready to swing at me. Only to jump right into the small hole in between the deck and anchors breaking an ankle, and falling forward only to smash his face right on the railing of the deck I was standing on. Best part of all of this. My actual position at this resort was a rescue guide.

Being the only guide on the zipline that day and the closest person to the guy when he got hurt I immediately jumped up to help and administer any first aid if needed. Him being half-conscious from the blow to the head didn’t remember I was the kid who bandaged his cuts. About a week later we received a letter from him thanking the guy who helped him but also asking for the firing of the kid who refused to let his kid go down the zip-line.

Quick addition to this post.

In addition to this being an action-adventure park it was also a ski resort in the winter. I can't begin to count how many guests would ask mid-August in 98-degree weather "where the snow was" (yes people are this stupid I was shocked at first as well)

I was able to convince one family that the mountain itself lifts up on a hydrolic system and flips over. Saying that one side is summer and one is winter. Yes, they actually believed me and asked for the dates they flip it so they could come watch.

5. From mattro37:

Oh man, I was a character at Disneyland for a few years and I’ve seen some sh*t. I’ve seen people pouring out cremated ashes into the flowers in Town Square, characters heads or wigs fall off, I’ve been viciously dry-humped (against my will, but it was hilarious) by a pair of Plutos who were friends of mine, even did some digging to find out which of our friends was the Pluto from the infamous “Pluto chases kid around Town Square” video.

I’ve seen kids get so excited they puke. Once I even went out as Frozone (A costume I didn’t even fit in, but there was no lead around) to pick up Snow White from her photo location, and linked arms with her, singing “Ebony and Ivory” in the deepest voice I could as I walked her back. I’ve ridden nearly every ride in Disneyland as either Tigger, Goofy, or Geppetto and somehow kept my head on every time. I hold the record for riding Gadget’s Go-Coaster in ToonTown 17 times in a 30-minute set.

I could go on for days about all the stupid and hilarious sh*t we used to do when I was there.

As much silly stuff as there was, there were also some real amazing experiences. I’ve seen plenty of Make A Wish kids with their families and had crying parents tell me that it was the first time their child had smiled in weeks. I've rolled around as Pluto (Another time I wore a costume I didn’t fit when no leads were around) playing with other dogs, I've been part of weddings and engagements, and all sorts of (yeah I’m gonna say it) really f*cking magical moments.

I’m not one to drink the Disney Kool-Aid per se, but I’m an entertainer, and man is it fun to make the people who do love it there happy. The sheer volume of tears of joy I’ve watched people shed over moments I’ve helped create is something I feel really fortunate to have been a part of.

I remember a Bert (From Mary Poppins) who fell on the parade route on his first day and chipped his tooth.

Once a Pooh farted in their costume. Since the costume is mostly hollow, when they bent down to see a kid all the air got pushed out of the mouth where they see. The kid cringed and said “Pooh Bear, your breath stinks!”

6. From Theblkjedi:

At the mouse we had a kid who had a check list shirt on. On it said darth maul ✅ Darth Vader ✅ Then the last one beat cancer ✅ The kid was 6yrs old. Then I’m told backstage that the parents wanted to do something special for him in the show. But my director couldn’t find a spot in the show where this special moment would work. So we finished the show (Jedi training academy) and set up a meet and greet with the kid. I get out there and this kid’s whole family is at the greeting area, I mean everyone.

So I hear “ok champ you ready!” Kid reply’s “yup” he pulls out this pill swallows it and the family breaks down crying! The kid yells I’m a real Jedi! Come to find out the kid took his last chemo pill that eradicated his cancer in front of us. He waited all morning to show us that he was brave and a true Jedi. We were all holding back tears.

7. From LuOnReddit:

I worked at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal.

Dumb stuff: I would get asked the same three or four questions by everyone I served. "Does Butterbeer have real beer in it?" or "Are you allowed to say Voldemort?" and my personal favorite "Where is the castle?" always got asked when I was working a cart that was LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO THE CASTLE.

Random stuff: They make you take a Butterbeer pouring class. It's really f*cking easy to pour Butterbeer though, so it's kind of a joke. It's just a training that they can check off and reference if you decide to be an idiot and give in to the multiple guest requests of a cup full of just the cream topping.

Fun stuff: Being a theme park employee means you get free admission. When you're making $0.25 above minimum wage, you'll take all the free entertainment you can get. I practically lived at the parks that year.

Also, I filled in on the events staff during Halloween Horror Nights. I basically got paid to stand around with a glow stick and answer people's questions. However, that is when I discovered that the best place to be during HHN is just outside or just inside Mel's Diner. They keep the usual happy, doo-wop diner music going, but there's a scare zone just outside where people are usually screaming. Makes for a spooky/weird/fun juxtaposition.

8. From Galennus:

I worked at Disney. It's a fun place to work for the most part, amazing if you are a young straight male. I actually had a hot mom come on to me one time. You are supposed to tell people to always keep their shirts on. One time a pretty attractive woman in her late 30s/early 40s was wearing a bikini top. I kindly told her she needed to put a shirt on and she drunkenly looked at me and said, "You like my tits, don't you?" then she tried kissing me. I was kind of taken aback and found out later in the day she was removed for being drunk/disorderly in a kids show.

Another one was some kid who got onto Tower of Terror, pulled the seatbelt out as long as it would go, buckled it so it wouldn't alert the system but basically got out of the seatbelt (If that makes sense?) He held on and they caught him on surveillance. I think he got kicked out but it could have been a lot worse. He would have died probably and it would have been a mess (literally and figuratively)

Speaking of dying, a dad forced his crying kid onto Rock'N'Roller Coaster. Gave him the usual spiel of don't be a wimp, spent all this money to come, blahblah...then the kid f*cking died cause he had a preexisting condition. I am sure that man could never live with himself.

9. From aznliu10:

So I work in the Stores department, and there's this giant mirror on one of our walls. It's an old tall mirror that's been there from since close to opening day of the park. Beautiful thing, really.

Anyways I'm fixing the hats fixture that's in front of the mirror with my back to said mirror when I suddenly hear a loud crash and the sound of shattered glass from right behind me. I turn around and I see this kid sitting on the bench in front of the now broken mirror with a dazed look. There was broken glass everywhere, on the bench on the floor around him on his clothes, you name it. Kid also had a giant deep gash above his left elbow with blood pooling out and dripping around him, and there was bits of broken glass in his gash.

Unfortunately, his mother did not see that her son had a giant bloody gash on his arm, just that her son was sitting there with a shocked dazed look, so she reaches out to help him up. She, unfortunately, grabs her son right where the bloody gash is and lifts him up, while probably pushing the glass deeper into his wound. It wasn't until she helped him up and realized that her son was wincing and her hand was a bloody mess that she realized what was happening to her son, and became speechless. Dazed shocked kid never uttered a sound during this whole time. Poor kid.

I cleared the surrounding area, called my management team, security, the theme park duty manager, along with first aid to come to the scene. While we waited, I gave the kid and mother some wipes to clean off the blood their hands, but we weren't allowed to do much else other than clean some of the broken glass up until first aid and the nurses arrived. We got them temporarily fixed up and we got the kid to the hospital, from what I hear he's doing ok now. Unfortunately, we lost our beautiful old opening day mirror.

We do have a small joke now, because this happened on the day D (an old cast member who had been working at the shop for 46 years) announced her retirement for a few weeks down the road. Now we all joke around with D saying that the mirror got out the Disney before she even did.

10. From Chingparr:

I worked one season at King's Island in Mason/Cinci, Ohio.

Nothing really happened outside of the occasional drunks picking fights or acting stupid. However, our Boo Blaster Dark Ride had an insane amount of sexual activity.

I've seen more head bobbing and finger blasting than I'd care to ever see again if I'm being honest.

11. From beatboxa:

I worked at Disney. You're supposed to get fired for eating the food. Truthfully, I never worked and just got paid to eat all of the food in the kitchen. Also, the managers take photos of people throughout the parks and send them in a group message to make jokes about them.

12. From TTUShooter:

I worked for Six Flags for two seasons in college, one as a parking lot attendant for one season (camped out at the parking exits to make sure people didn't drive in, and drove the parking lot tram) Not much interesting happened there. 2nd season I worked as a security guard. That season is just more notable for all the people who act like f*cking idiots.

One of the more memorable things I saw was a guy who damn near killed himself after shoplifting from a gift shop. Security actually didn't really get involved with shoplifting as that was the Loss Prevention's role, but we shared the same radio channel. I hear on the radio traffic that they are watching a suspected shoplifter.

After they see him take merchandise and attempt to leave without paying, one of the Loss Prevention staff attempts to make contact with the guy and stop him. Dude bolts out the door and makes a bee-line to an 8ish foot tall wooden fence which is where I see him. Dude climbs up it and throws his legs over the top thinking the ground is just about 8 feet below him on the other side where he will continue fleeing.

The thing is, from the top of the fence its a pretty substantial drop to the in-park railroad tracks below (I'd estimate 20 feet maybe a bit more). Dude got royally f*cked up when he landed. I think broke both his legs and pelvis as well as sustained a pretty nasty head injury. Dude lived from what I understand, but I imagine those were life-altering injuries.

This was all for a stuffed animal a few other bits of souvenir crap.

There are other stories but that one was the most serious.

13. From MrBanana6261:

I worked at Six Flags in Arlington, TX one summer as a games operator. There's a ride there called Mr. Freeze, and it's a roller coaster that goes out a tunnel crazy fast, does a couple big turns and basically a loop, then goes on a track straight up in the air. Once momentum stops it, it reverses course and runs the track backwards until you end up at the beginning. Quite a fun, although short, coaster.

When it goes straight up, it needs to go high enough for momentum to carry it around the track again in reverse. So (because physics), it needs a boost up the vertical track. There are gigantic magnets that push the cars up high enough, so when they disengage, the thing can make the return trip.

So one time, I'm working the games and there's a brief moment where all the power in that section of the park goes out. The lights and sirens in the booths stopped for a moment, but only briefly, before coming back on. I didn't think anything of it, but then saw that the blackout came at the exact moment the Mr. Freeze ride was going up the vertical track.

So the magnets weren't on, and the cars didn't get high enough to carry it around the track. So it went up and down, back and forth in this "U" shaped part of the tracks until it just stopped dead at the lowest point.

People were freaking out on the thing, screaming and hollering and going nuts. It took the park about 90 minutes to get a cherry picker type device to get all the people off the ride, since they couldn't just drag it back manually with them on it.

Bad enough for them, but it was also Texas in July. So it's 100 degrees and people are just baking in the sun in a metal car. So half the people were red lobster people when they got off, and a handful had passed out in the cars and paramedics had to revive them and get them some water before getting them off the ride.

It was insane and all due to a 1 second power outage.

14. From heartshapesANDninjas:

Sea World, San Antonio back in 2000. I was an actress in the Halloween shows. I played several roles, and there were plenty of people kicked out for all kinds of crap. The BEST story though, was when I was working in the "Haunted Forest." It's just a long haunted house set up, with many rooms. All the rooms have different "spooky" themes.

Anyway, on this particular night, I was Countess Dracula. I had these creepy white-out contact lenses that made me look scary, and full-on makeup...custom made fangs, and what have you. There were many coffins for me to hide in. I would just pretend to be a prop (I'd just be as still as possible. It was foggy and dark, so easy to fool people.) Then after someone passed me, I'd sneak around in the fog and dark, and BAM! Spook the crap outta them.

So along comes this HUGE guy. Well, huge compared to me. He was at least 6'10", and he had to be almost 350lbs. He was a WALL of a man. I am a 5'3" gal. Pretty small build, maybe you'd even call me scrawny. So he is walking through and he sees me, and I hear him say to his kids "No, that is just a doll...not a person." I think to myself "Oh man, I am gonna scare this guy!" So I open my eyes as he gets closer to me to inspect, and make a loud vampire-y "HISSS!"

Dude screams bloody murder, and straight up head-butts me. As in, grabs my head, smashes it into his. I woke up in the First-Aid station, but apparently the whole family was kicked out. He also spent a good hour arguing with the security team that I had "threatened to hurt him" and that I "thrown a punch". Of course the other actor playing Dracula saw it all, and called bullsh*t. I had a mild concussion, which sucked, but I was fine after a few days.

TL;DR: Giant dude head-butts tiny actress because she scared the sh*t outta him in a haunted house. Family is kicked out, he claims she threw punches.

15. From ExFiler:

I worked for the Mouse in Anaheim (before the strike in 1984) and their close neighbor, The Berry Resort.

Disneyland was a blast. I worked maintenance cleaning the park after closing. Seeing the other workers doing their jobs around the park was fascinating. Sound room under The Tiki room. Seeing Mr. Lincoln with his mask removed. Really cool behind the scenes stuff.

There was a guy working maintenance at the same time that used to hang in the mornings after shift and talk to the female employees coming on. Showed me a photo album once that was nudes of these girls that he had talked into photoshoots. He was actually a pretty good photographer.

At KBF, the attitude was more relaxed. The park still had an owned by the family feel, and they really went out of their way to give to the employees. Like /u/genericsylveon mentions, they opened up the park to Employees for special occasions throughout the year, including Christmas. At Christmas, they had a party for the employees with a Talent Show in the Good Times Theater with stockings for all the kids of the employees, and each employee got a frozen turkey as they left. Not a coupon. An actual Frozen Turkey.

Entry for 4 into the park once a month. I could bring one person with me once a week (Usually the day I picked up my paycheck). Just a really fun place to work.

16. From KrakenWarg:

I taught surfing at the wave pool at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon for 2.5 years. A wave comes out every 90 seconds by 12 chambers opening up along the back wall which lets out 80,000 gallons of water per wave. While this happens, like the ocean, there is a strong current at the bottom which sucks water back into the chambers. If you are too close to the wall you will get sucked under.

This happened once to one of the instructors and the kid that he was pushing into the wave. Luckily because the kid was attached to the board he came back up immediately but the instructor did not. The head instructor on land had to hit the emergency switch which turns off the wave pool and the lifeguard radioed the engineer to open the chambers. The instructor who got sucked into the chamber was stuck underwater with no way out for a good 45 seconds before the chambers finally opened back up. It was pretty scary to say the least.

Another time I accidentally was too close to the wall and almost got pulled into the chambers. Luckily I wasn't that close and managed to avoid it by kicking really hard. In the midst of frantically sprint swimming away from the wall, I ended up pulling my left hamstring due to the force of being pulled under by so much water. Needless to say, I always kept a good distance from the wall after that.

17. From mang0fandang0:

I have quite a few stories.

The year I got hired, some dude brought a gun in. He was looking for his ex who also worked there. He took out the gun when he found her but didn't shoot, freaked out a whole ton of people and ran to the water play area. He locked himself up in a dressing room and killed himself. The park just closed off that area and continued operations as usual. It happened in the afternoon. The body was there til closing. It was after that incident that the park decided to install metal detectors.

There's a reason why there are signs all over the escalators saying to watch your children and not let them sit on the steps. Well, this one mom didn't give a fuck. Her little boy sat there and his fingers got caught in the side and he started screaming. Mom panics and yanks him out, severing all four fingers. They never found the pinky.

Some guy came up to me once and took a few packets of mustard from my cart, asked me if I liked mustard, then proceeded to just. Eat the mustard. By itself. And smiled at me with his mustard-yellow teeth. Then he left after saying he liked me and that he would tell everyone to buy hotdogs at my cart.

18. From flyingcircusdog:

I was a ride supervisor at a roller coaster at a Six Flags for a few years and then interned with a higher up. The best stories really come from the people you meet. Every ride kind of turns into a family. We take pride in our ride and that really helps make the hot busy days go back. I made so many friends from that job, more than you'll get from most office jobs. I'll go through some of the highlights, good and bad:

I was on the job for all of 2 weeks when a woman tried to bring her baby on the ride. Senior management had to track her down and check if she was capable of safely going on rides.

Having races to check the train. We couldn't do this with guests on, but before the park opened or to entertain people during bad weather it was a great time.

One of the biggest measures for success in the SF rides dept. is hitting hourly rider targets. We were in a constant race to beat one of the biggest coasters in the park in total throughput for the year and we shattered their number by about 100,000 people.

We had international students come and live at the park while working during the summer, so on the day our one student was leaving we had a big party in her apartment.

Management parties would usually start peaceful at a restaurant and end as a sh*tshow at the bar.

The employee parties were great. They would open sections of the park after hours and you basically had no wait, and they made some of the upcharge attractions free. They would also give out free food and candy.

You got to ride the new coasters first, even before the season pass holder previews.

Getting to know your friends by hanging out in a gas station or Burger King parking lot until 2 am.

Riding in the back of a pickup truck to clean underneath coasters so huge it would take too long to walk the entire track.

Holiday parties; employees got free food, cake, prizes, etc. if you worked a holiday.

Getting to know the fun guests. 98% of guests were fun to talk with and did what they were supposed to. The problem is when you see 10,000 people a day on your ride alone, 2% is a lot of people.

I was once used as a test dummy for a new slide at the waterpark.

I also got to be a body in a commercial, which involved riding a new drop ride for several hours while a helicopter filmed.

It was a great job to have in high school and college, and I actually learned a lot relating to leadership, working with people, training, and engineering.

19. From TheBrentPerk:

I felt like I learned a lot about seeing how kids react to different parenting styles. The short of it is "if you treat you kid like an adult, they'll act like one."

At a water ride, people will regularly leave backpacks and such before getting on. I've seen 5-year-olds independent enough to get them without any fuss and I've seen 10-year-olds try to throw other people's stuff in the water. The parents could see them the whole time and how they react to their kids' behaviour will stay with me forever.

20. From CheeseStandsAlone262:

I was a roller coaster supervisor at Carowinds, a large theme park just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. This is short and to the point.

It was Sunday, which meant it was new employee day [the park was hellish to work at and suffered constant turnover, new employees were constantly being hired]. I was training a new employee how to drive the roller coaster when the train pulls into the station; a small child wiggles out from under his lap bar before we release them. He jumps out onto the platform, reaches into his pants, and throws a large human sh*t down onto the platform and runs off sobbing. The employee I was training not only didn't quit, she was later my hand-picked replacement when I quit months later.

July 2020 was a long year.

As month five of Hot COVID Summer winds to a close, take comfort in the fact that you're not the only parent-turned-camp counselor who is losing it it in the bubble. Here are this month's tweets from parents that will cheer you up while you lock yourself in the bathroom for a five minute break from your kids' 182nd viewing of Frozen II.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

When somebody on the internet complains about their engagement ring, it's usually safe to assume that they're superficial snobs (or, you know, ethical about blood diamonds).

An engaged woman asked"Am I The A**hole?" asking if she's wrong to not want to wear the ring that her fiancé had previously given his ex. And, important: it was a ring the fiancé bought, not a family heirloom.

She wrote:

My now fiancé was engaged a couple years before we got together, and they broke up and she gave the ring back.

We’ve been together a few years and a few days ago, he proposed and I was super excited. The ring looked kinda familiar and when I asked him where it was from, he said it was the ring he gave to ex fiancé. I immediately took it off and was like “I don’t want a ring you bought for someone else, it wasn’t meant for me.” He got upset and said it didn’t matter, because it’s not hers anymore it’s mine. My family and friends are split in saying I’m the a**hole and I’m justified.

She feels guilty about the money, but would like to wear an engagement ring that was chosen specifically for her.

I don’t want him to spend a whole other thousand dollars on a ring for me, but I want a ring that was meant for me, not for someone else.

AITA?

The Reddit Jury sides firmly with the woman, proclaiming her to be Not The A**hole.

"NTA (Not The A**hole) - I would have sold it and used the money for another. An engagement ring doesn’t have to be crazy expensive, but it should be personal," Stellanboll wrote.

"NTA, and this is coming from someone who thinks engagement rings are a stupid waste of money. I'm sure he could sell the ring and get a new one that would be special to you," ManiaSky added.

I don't think he's being TA either though, he's just not seeing it the same way you do. Selling the old ring would be a good compromise.

Some jurors went as far saying that the guy is The A**hole and she should marry him.

"This is ridiculous, how dare he give you her ring," amicia_derune commented. "It's HER ring, he meant it for HER, bought it for HER. How does he think to give you her rejects is ok? You are completely justified. And I would rethink this guy if I were you."

Recycling is important, but maybe something as important as an engagement ring shouldn't be reused?

"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up."

-Phyllis Diller

Whatever stage your children are in right now, I bet you could use a break. These hilarious memes will keep you laughing no matter what fresh hell your little darlings put you through today.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

-Erma Bombeck

No matter how bad things get in life, it's important to always keep your sense of humor. These hilarious memes will make you forget your troubles, if only for a minute. Stay silly, my friends.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.