Mom Coupon: Redeemable for one instance of my reading a forwarded email from you.

May 10, 2013, 12:25 pm

≫ Next: I hope your Mother's Day is more pleasant than labor was.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone I hope is my last stepmother.

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I hope your Mother's Day is more pleasant than labor was.

May 10, 2013, 12:51 pm

≫ Next: There's nobody else I'd rather accidentally father a child with.

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There's nobody else I'd rather accidentally father a child with.

May 10, 2013, 1:11 pm

≫ Next: Thanks for slightly reducing your alcohol consumption while I was living inside your uterus.

≪ Previous: I hope your Mother's Day is more pleasant than labor was.

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Thanks for slightly reducing your alcohol consumption while I was living inside your uterus.

May 10, 2013, 1:26 pm

≫ Next: Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me.

≪ Previous: There's nobody else I'd rather accidentally father a child with.

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Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me.

May 11, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day, even though I pretty much raised myself.

≪ Previous: Thanks for slightly reducing your alcohol consumption while I was living inside your uterus.

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Happy Mother's Day, even though I pretty much raised myself.

May 11, 2013, 7:45 am

≫ Next: Here's to my birth marking the last minute you ever had to yourself.

≪ Previous: Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me.

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Here's to my birth marking the last minute you ever had to yourself.

May 12, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I'm sorry my gigantic head ruined your vagina.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day, even though I pretty much raised myself.

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I'm sorry my gigantic head ruined your vagina.

May 12, 2013, 6:01 am

≫ Next: Good for one apology along with a slightly late bouquet of Mother's Day flowers.

≪ Previous: Here's to my birth marking the last minute you ever had to yourself.

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Good for one apology along with a slightly late bouquet of Mother's Day flowers.

May 12, 2013, 6:33 am

≫ Next: I already can't wait until your story about the weekend is over.

≪ Previous: I'm sorry my gigantic head ruined your vagina.

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I already can't wait until your story about the weekend is over.

May 13, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: 14 best backhanded compliments.

≪ Previous: Good for one apology along with a slightly late bouquet of Mother's Day flowers.

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14 best backhanded compliments.

May 13, 2013, 7:25 am

≫ Next: If we were cars, I'd ride as close to your bumper as legally permissible.

≪ Previous: I already can't wait until your story about the weekend is over.

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Better way of saying "you look like you have a good personality."

That moment when a fleeting look of happiness gives way to a defeated frown... it's a thing of beauty. That's why we love the backhanded compliment. It's simple, elegant and ruthlessly efficienct. It's also the only kind of compliment we give. Below we've collected 14 of our best backhanded compliments for you to send to your friends, enemies, and random Facebook and Twitter jerks. Or you can always try your hand at crafting you own in our user card section.

See them all >>

If we were cars, I'd ride as close to your bumper as legally permissible.

May 13, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Let's get back to passive-aggressively ignoring our mothers for the next 364 days.

≪ Previous: 14 best backhanded compliments.

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Let's get back to passive-aggressively ignoring our mothers for the next 364 days.

May 13, 2013, 8:25 am

≫ Next: Thanks for not letting your hangover get in the way of a wonderful Mother's Day celebration.

≪ Previous: If we were cars, I'd ride as close to your bumper as legally permissible.

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Thanks for not letting your hangover get in the way of a wonderful Mother's Day celebration.

May 13, 2013, 9:14 am

≫ Next: I hope anyone is as excited about your wedding as they are about the return of Arrested Development.

≪ Previous: Let's get back to passive-aggressively ignoring our mothers for the next 364 days.

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I hope anyone is as excited about your wedding as they are about the return of Arrested Development.

May 13, 2013, 9:17 am

≫ Next: Chris Brown now hurting people's eyes without use of fists.

≪ Previous: Thanks for not letting your hangover get in the way of a wonderful Mother's Day celebration.

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Chris Brown now hurting people's eyes without use of fists.

May 13, 2013, 9:19 am

≫ Next: Congratulations on getting your master's in a field that was already pointless to have a bachelor's in.

≪ Previous: I hope anyone is as excited about your wedding as they are about the return of Arrested Development.

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Read the full article at TheGist.com >>

Congratulations on getting your master's in a field that was already pointless to have a bachelor's in.

May 13, 2013, 10:42 am

≫ Next: Congratulations on earning a degree in something you don't remotely want to do with your life.

≪ Previous: Chris Brown now hurting people's eyes without use of fists.

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Congratulations on earning a degree in something you don't remotely want to do with your life.

May 13, 2013, 11:47 am

≫ Next: 21 of the worst things to say to a college grad.

≪ Previous: Congratulations on getting your master's in a field that was already pointless to have a bachelor's in.

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21 of the worst things to say to a college grad.

May 14, 2013, 7:59 am

≫ Next: 34th Birthday: Congratulations on outliving the Son of God.

≪ Previous: Congratulations on earning a degree in something you don't remotely want to do with your life.

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The worst is yet to come.

Graduation is a time of transitions: from harmless binge drinker to serious problem drinker, from student loan recipient to student loan payer, and from being an unproductive, irresponsible student to being an unproductive, irresponsible, unemployed adult. To mark the occasion, we've selected 21 of the worst possible things you could say say to a new graduate. You should by all means send them to a new graduate. You should also share on Facebook and Twitter. Hey, you could even make your own and add to our collection.

See them all >>

34th Birthday: Congratulations on outliving the Son of God.

May 14, 2013, 9:41 am

≫ Next: Family curse continues as Caroline Kennedy gets jury duty.

≪ Previous: 21 of the worst things to say to a college grad.

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