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First lesbian character in "Star Wars" brings a galaxy far, far away into the 21st century.

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A Force for change.


They may be evil, but they're not bigots.(via Wookieepedia)

As all true nerds know, the Star Wars films only scratch the surface of the franchise's full continuity. There are TV shows, comic books, video games, role-playing games, radio plays, and more. They extend the universe of the movies so far, you could live as long as Yoda (900 years) and not experience it all. But first and foremost in the so-called Expanded Universe has always been the novels. There are literally hundreds of novels from nearly as many authors, introducing thousands upon thousands of new characters, from many different alien species and origins. Until now, however, they were all straight.

Paul S. Kemp's upcoming novel Lords of the Sith will introduce the first LGBT character in Star Wars history, a lesbian Grand Moff in the Galactic Empire named Delian Mors. Given the long history of the Star Wars canon, the passionate nature of the fans, and the fact that this is a first, the announcement made big waves. Still, Kemp insists he did not make the character a lesbian for any political reason.

Although it might seem insignificant to an outsider, this is an important milestone for Star Wars and genre fiction in general. The world of fantasy and science fiction has had problems with inclusivity in the past. Although some fans are resistant to diversity in their beloved franchises, generally it's the creators who are slow to catch up. Publishers and studios still worry that the fans will desert in droves if their content doesn't adhere to the status quo. If this book is a success, maybe it will help to turn the tide. Or at least have some good lightsaber battles in it.


Government orders low-quality meatballs to be sold merely as "balls."

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Don't play with your balls, kid.


Eh, I wouldn't want to eat them either. (via Thinkstock)

The Finnish public broadcasting company YLE has reported that Kesko, one of Finland's biggest food producers, has had to downgrade its meatballs to simply... well, "balls."

According to YLE, the move came after an "examination of the packaging revealed that it contained only machine-recovered meat, essentially scraps, which are not defined as meat in Finnish law." Apparently, the company thought that "balls" were then a better name than "scrap balls" or "machine-recovered ball-foods."


Balls from one of Kesko's grocery stores. (via K-rouka)

Heta Rautpalo, a product research manager for Ruokakesko (a division of Kesko that produces the zero-meat balls), "observed that it's beneficial to use even the less desirable parts of the animal, as it allows the company to develop low-end products." Mmm, low-end products? Less-desirable parts of the animal? This lady really knows how to get me salivating.

Chuck Norris just turned 75. Celebrate by watching him kick everything. Seriously. Everything.

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It's Chuck Norris's world. We're all just getting kicked in it.

Chuck Norris might be a crazy, conservative Christian who warned us all that the Earth would be plunged into a thousand years of darkness if Obama was re-elected, but he's our crazy, conservative Christian who warned us all that the Earth would be plunged into a thousand years of darkness if Obama was re-elected. He's essentially the nation's unhinged uncle who's always promising to take us wild boar hunting when our mom's not around (and Uncle Nugent, but that guy is weird). We love him, but we're terrified of him.

So, we are commemorating his 75th birthday with the above video of Norris kicking all manner of people, places and things. And if you've still got some fight left in you afterwards, check out this much stranger, dream-like montage made by the same Huffington Post editor (likely the result of PTSD brought on by watching every single Chuck Norris movie):

Yeah, I'm relatively certain that's exactly the kind of daydream that rolls through Chuck Norris's head while he's doing mundane tasks like kicking the dishes and punching the rain gutters.

Enjoy Kim Kardashian's tweets the way they were meant to be enjoyed: sung by Bette Midler.

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I can only assume this is better than Kim Kardashian singing Bette Midler's tweets.

Here's a joyful little bit from Jimmy Kimmel Live— Bette Midler making a brief appearance to sing Kim Kardashian's tweets.

Jimmy also notes that Bette named one of her chickens after Ms. Kardashian. I tried to find more information on that chicken for you, dear readers, but the best thing I found was a restaurant in NYC that offered a Kim-and-Kanye-themed Valentine's Day menu with a chicken-fried dish. The Kim and Kanye menu: for when your relationship is so broken, the only thing you can agree on celebrating together is Kimye.

Ashton Kutcher wants diaper changing tables in men's rooms.

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Picture this guy with baby poop all over his hands.

Ashton Kutcher—the new father of a genetically perfect baby girl created with fellow beautiful person Mila Kunis—has discovered at least one problem in life that even his good looks, piles of money and preternatural charisma cannot solve: the infuriating lack of diaper changing stations in men's rooms.

Post by Ashton Kutcher.

As the father of a nine-month-old perpetual-poop-creating machine (with a stunning smile and a beautiful personality, despite the half of his genetic code he got from me), I can completely empathize. The idea of holding a poop-covered baby in my arms with no way or means to fix the situation is the definition of a nightmare. In fact, in a show of solidarity to with Kutcher, I will also give a Facebook shoutout to the first public men's room I find with a baby changing station.

So, now you've got shoutouts from Ashton Kutcher and me coming to you. And, I think with a little cajoling, I can get my brother-in-law Rob to hop onboard this revolution train. Your move, world! #AlsoBeTheChange

Watch: New 'Game of Thrones' trailer is even awesomer than the last one.

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We'll stop watching new 'Game of Thrones' trailers when they've stopped being badass or we've seen the entire season in trailer form, whichever comes first.


HBO has figured out the best way to advertise: via Game of Thrones trailers. This awesome new trailer for season five was released to help raise awareness about HBO GO availability on PlayStation.

I don't know if HBO realizes exactly how much GoT-based promotional power they have right now, though. They could partner with an adult diaper company and cut together clips of Game of Thrones and incontinent people, and I'd still watch it. Actually, HBO, that would be amazing and weird. Please make that. Thanks.

Finishing last.

On time.


Reporter mugged at gunpoint on camera while waiting to go on air.

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He can't seem to believe it either.

South African journalist Vuyo Mvoko was about to do a segment outside a hospital in Johannesburg, when two men approached him and the crew to hold them up at gunpoint, stealing cellphones and a laptop. And because it was in front of a camera, you can see the whole thing. Cool move, robbers.

It's very weird to watch Mvoko standing calmly with his earbuds in as he gets cased by the people who will jack his stuff seconds later. You want to shout, "Behind you, look behind you!"

Then someone, probably the field producer, tells the rest of the newsroom why they can't do their segment and he sounds more incredulous than upset.

"We're being mugged. We're being mugged. Yes."

Annnnnnd back to you, Sandra!

Ned Stark's entire storyline from "Game of Thrones" in a one-minute cartoon.

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[SPOILER] He still dies at the end.

Look, if you don't know yet that Ned Stark, the protagonist from the first novel and season of Game of Thrones, is beheaded in a shocking TWIST: too bad, you waited too long. It's out there. If this post spoils that for you, go back under the rock where your home is.

For everyone else, who just wants a refresher course on what was the most surprising murder on television in 2011, enjoy this very cute animated cartoon. Made by Vanity Fair and 1A4 STUDIO, it includes Ned's first scene beheading a deserter of the Night's Watch, through his unsuccessful political career and up to his death. All in just one minute! Maybe these guys should help George R. R. Martin with his editing process?

Guy with Guinness World record for bubble-blowing shows us what he's got.

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It's like carbonation for your eyes.

Anything we devote enough time and energy to can be elevated to an art form. That includes pushing soapy water though holes with your mouth. Mr. Su Chung Tai performs all over China with his group Be Fantasy, and here we get a special, black-lit glimpse into the magic of the blow.

He makes them spin, he pulls them in and out of each other, he fills them with smoke. They crawl across the screen like bugs or swimming bacteria under a microscope. This guy has put more imagination and creativity into bubble blowing than most of us put into love-making. Open your heart to the childlike wonder of suds once more.

Thicke as thieves: jury rules "Blurred Lines" was stolen from Marvin Gaye.

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We also could have gone with "Robbin' Thicke."


Or even Gaye Robbin'. Like "grave robbing." That might be a stretch.(Getty)

Imitation has always been a part of the music industry, and the difference between inspiration and plagiarism often exists in a gray area. Most musicians draw the line at outright theft of intellectual property. In Robin Thicke's case, however, it would seem that line has been… smudged.

Thicke's song "Blurred Lines" was one of the biggest hits of 2013. What was the secret to its success? Was it the irresistible beat, the combined songwriting talents of Thicke, Pharrell, and T.I., or the uncomfortably high-pressure sexualized lyrics? Maybe it was the fact that it was also one of the biggest hits of 1977.

Since the release of "Blurred Lines," soul music fans have accused Thicke and co-writer Pharrell of copying Marvin Gaye's 1977 hit "Got to Give It Up," a true funk classic. The two songs do sound eerily similar to me, but you can judge for yourself.



Marvin Gaye's children have owned the copyright to his music since his tragic death in 1984. Considering the runaway success of "Blurred Lines," it's no surprise they took Thicke to court, and now the verdict is in. A Los Angeles jury found that the song were stolen, and has awarded the Gaye family $7 million in damages. That might seem steep, but it's probably a fraction of what Thicke and Pharrell made from the song.

This could have been the end of it, but now the Gayes' lawyer wants to stop all sales of the song. That seems unreasonable to me. All plagiarism and offensive lyrics aside, Thicke's song has had a significant impact on pop culture in the last two years. It's not like it'll be erased, and all the 15-year-old Robin Thicke fans in the world will suddenly start buying 40-year-old Marvin Gaye records instead. The Gaye family says they just want to stop sales of the song until a profit-sharing agreement can be reached, but that would mean less money for them too. I say, everyone should take this ruling as a chance to step back and ride that funky money train all the way home.

There's so much fuss over this one silly song, it's confusing. I don't even know… what's going on.

Couples tell each other the real number of sexual partners they've had for the first time.

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Ruh-Roh.

How did so many couples get to a year plus and never discuss previous partners? Some of them really seem to not want to know, which partially explains it, but a lot of them are just like, "Oh, yeah. I forgot I slept with more people than I could ever count."

I do remember an ex telling me they couldn't remember the number of people they'd slept with and being kind of floored by that, but, the longer you live...also, about a week later he drew my attention to an Apple commercial he liked and it happened to star one of the people I'd slept with! A smaller number, but more widely publicized on broadcast television.

Really, even one other person can be too many if you spend a lot of time thinking about it. As that one lady who really doesn't want to reveal her number says, "The past is in the past."

Chloe Sevigny thinks Jennifer Lawrence is "annoying," so as punishment we're not including her umlaut.

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You diss JLaw, you lose your right to diacritical marks. [Chest pound]


Chloe lost her copy of the JLaw Commentary Playbook. (Getty)

Chloe Sevigny, actress and former model, is totally over Jennifer Lawrence, America's sweetheart.

In an interview with V Magazine, Sevigny said she thinks Lawrence is "annoying" and "too crass." You know what's crass, Sevigny? The name "Chloe" without a motherf**king umlaut over the "e." Who's your "it girl" now?

That's right, as punishment for your unprompted and completely unnecessary criticism of our national treasure Jennifer Lawrence, this publication will no longer be bothering to spell your name correctly.

Why should we go to the trouble of inserting a symbol when you couldn't go to the trouble of appreciating our belching, tripping beloved?

When the V Magazine interviewer mentioned that "nowadays, you can't be an actor without having a big personality to match," Chloe—umlautless—replied:

I love when a movie star is a great movie star. I think Angelina Jolie is a great movie star. I don't think I can be that, or just be an actor. I don't think I have the charisma. Which is probably why I never reached another level. I like Emma Stone. Whenever she's herself, she's really cute. Jennifer Lawrence I find annoying. Too crass.

You mean "too real"?

Deal with it.

Harsh judge.


Elizabeth Hurley reveals how Hugh Grant is in bed, boosts your single aunt's sexual fantasies.

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Today is a great day for Hugh Grant sex fantasies.

Sure, you can always watch one of Hugh Grant's (many, many) romantic comedies and imagine what it's like to have sex with the real man, but now you can fantasize with facts.* When Elizabeth Hurley played "Plead the Fifth" on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live on Tuesday, host Andy Cohen asked her about her marriage to mid-90s heartthrob Hugh Grant. The video of what transpired is worth watching for two reasons:

  1. Tony Danza's uncomfortable "holy crap" after Cohen asks why Grant and Hurley's relationship ended. Danza obviously thinks he's about to see some awkward shit go down.
  2. Hurley's response, which you can hand-write in a card and send to your single aunt for her birthday along with a bottle of that chocolate red wine, which is named ChocolatRouge but should probably be called DepressionJuiceForAdults.

* "Fantasize with facts" is also the name of my sex-ed training course.

Dumb "Breaking Bad" fans won't stop throwing pizzas on Walter White's roof.

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Just because you love "Breaking Bad" doesn't mean you have to act like you're on meth.


It was funny on the show. Now it's just unsanitary.(YouTube)

WARNING: Minor pizza-related spoilers follow.

Since the runaway success of AMC's Breaking Bad, the Albuquerque house that was used as the White residence has become a tourist destination. That's all well and good, as long as visitors are respectful and keep their distance. After all, people live there. But now, Cranstotourism has taken a darker turn, as hooligans keep throwing pizzas on the home's roof in an imitation of one of their favorite scenes.

Here it is as a gif, so you never have to stop living the moment:

As entertaining as this scene is, remember that it is a work of fiction. Throwing real pizzas on the roof is a major hassle to the homeowner and her neighbors. Despite their hospitable Southwestern nature, it's getting to be too much for them. It's also become a thorn in the side of the show's cast and crew. Vince Gilligan, the creator of both Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, took a moment out of the latest Better Call Saul Insider Podcast to address the issue.

So there you have it. If you don't want to displease Vince Gilligan, and be hunted down by major badass Jonathan Banks, leave the house alone. If you buy a pizza, eat it. Maybe while watching Breaking Bad. Or Better Call Saul, which is also awesome.

Or you could watch this clip, and marvel that Cranston's pizza toss was accomplished in ONE TAKE.

In with the old.

Cut it out.

This dog who has been trained to smile for the camera looks miserable.

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Please, don't tell her to say cheese.

Everybody loves being told to smile! That's why men on the street tell women they don't know to do it. In this video, Josh Gottsegen show us this universal truth as it applies to dogs.

JK, men who do that are horrible and this dog looks effing miserable. It's especially sad because dogs usually seem so pleased with themselves when they successfully complete a trick and are rewarded with praise/treats. Mostly treats. Having to pretend you're happy when you're not must poison the whole thing.

Or maybe Gottsegen just hasn't been able to train an animal who can SMILE with their EYES, aka SMIZE. Get Tyra in here:


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