These two rescued animals have formed an interspecies friendship for the ages.

An adorable Fennec fox named Rupert was overcome with excitement to be reunited with his best friend, William the cat. Rupert made friends with William when he came to International Primate Rescue at just four weeks old. He had some growing up to do, so Rupert spent time with another Fennec fox and didn't see William for awhile. When they were reunited, Rupert could barely contain himself!

I wish it was socially acceptable to roll on the ground screaming when I saw my best friend, but until then I'll settle for just running through the bar screaming.

This video shows a giant St. Bernard taking his kid for a walk.

St. Bernards are supposed to come to the rescue, so this one must have a very important mission. Otherwise, it would probably stop and check on the small child it's dragging behind it. Thankfully, not only did these drivers stop before running over this inseparable pair, they caught this incredible footage along with the sound of their own giggling.

Presumably, the kid is fine aside from a few scrapes, because he seems to be going along for the ride. Maybe this is their normal routine. I know I let my cat scratch the crap out of the couch everyday and don't say a thing.

The Dago Joe's food truck in Detroit is in hot oil over a very inappropriate menu item.

Here's a first: a food truck that makes you sick to your stomach for reasons other than food poisoning. Dago Joe's is a Detroit-based food truck and catering company specializing in Italian food and ugly Italian-American stereotypes. Case in point: the mozzarella cheese sticks, which until recently were described as "Not just breaded, they're battered, like your wife."

A little Sharpie on that, and everything is forgiven!(via ABC 7)

Even outside of how offensive that is, is it a sound business practice? Who wants mozzarella sticks you can't order without confessing to spousal abuse? Despite this, the description stayed on the menu until a customer reported it to local TV news station ABC 7. When a news crew came to investigate, they found the words lightly obscured, but still readable. Owner Joe Sciamanna (Dago Joe himself) claimed that the text had been completely covered, but somebody stole the covering. Also they were out of the mozzarella sticks. So there's no reason to be angry anymore, right? The best was Sciamanna's reaction when he was accused of joking about battered women:

"No, we're not joking about battered women. We're just joking about the battered mozzarella sticks."

Well, for Joe's sake, let's hope the mozzarella sticks don't come after him next. Then he might be the one who's battered.

The cups may be disposable, but the design is forever.

"I am but a vessel, filled with potential and the essence of the early 90s."

The clothes you wear announce who you are and what you stand for. By donning one of 1991INC's new line of tops printed with the iconic "Jazz" design, recognizable to billions as the emblem of disposable Solo paper cups everywhere, you tell the world "I am both ephemeral and eternal. I am everywhere. I am mankind's dominance over nature."

"Crumple me up, and I shall become more sewer-clogging than you can possibly imagine."

"I will bring you refreshing coolness in quantities and with convenience you never dreamed possible. What happens to you depends on how you treat me. Will you recycle me, making sure I get put in the right baskets, or will you discard me as so many have done?"

"If I'm sweating, it just means I'm cool on the inside."

"Treat me well and coolness will forever flow unto you. Fail to consider the repurcussions of ignoring me, and one day I will choke you on your own trash and kill all your descendents."

"I can't handle something as hot as you, but we can manage if I have a friend double up."

It's a pretty f-ing serious line of shirts.

1. HBO And 'Game Of Thrones' Now Available To Anyone Who Feels Like Buying An Apple Product

HBO finally launched its long-awaited standalone service HBO NOW today, giving subscribers the ability to view its programming without paying for a monthly cable subscription. They simply have to go out and buy an iPad, iPhone or AppleTV before the new season of Game of Thrones begins this Sunday. Quick, run!

oh is it almost time for another season of White Guys Talking About What Happened on Game of Thrones

— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) April 7, 2015

2. Ungrateful Former Child Star Suing Her Parents, Despite Their Valuable Lessons That Life Is Full Of Exploitative Leeches

Former child actress Mischa Barton is suing her mother Nuala Barton for allegedly withholding earnings and stealing money from her while acting as her manager. "Neither Nuala nor Barton's father, Paul, has had a job independent of Barton in over a decade," according to the lawsuit. "Instead, they sit back expecting their daughter's hard work and dedication to her craft to support their lifestyle. Both comfortably reside in the $7.8 million Beverly Hills home that was purchased with Barton's funds while Barton is not welcome at the property." And neither parent got so much as a thank you for the valuable life lessons they provided the actress. Kids these days!

If I see a news item involving Mischa Barton, I can't not read it. How do I cure this unfortunate disease?

— Ryan O'Connell (@ryanoconn) April 8, 2015

3. 'The Interview' Premieres In North Korea, Via Carrier Balloon

Many citizens of North Korea are now getting their chance to see the Seth Rogen-James Franco comedy set in their homeland, as a North Korean refugee activist has begun attaching thousands of DVD copies of The Interview to balloons and allowing them to float into the locked-down nation. Unfortunately, copies of Pineapple Express and This Is the End are not being sent in afterward to give viewers a more positive opinion of the actors' work.

Do they have DVD players? RT @BreakingNews: Activist launches balloons carrying ‘The Interview’ DVDs into North Korea http://t.co/HbEu4DK8aa

— Derek Kessler (@dkdsgn) April 8, 2015

4. Invisible Hand Of The Free Market Pulls Down Rand Paul's Presidential Announcement Video

Libertarian Republican Sen. Rand Paul's presidential announcement was yanked from YouTube shortly after it was uploaded, due to his campaign's failure to secure the rights to John Rich's song "Shuttin' Detroit Down," which was used in the video. The corporates have spoken. Do not question the corporations' judgements. The offender must be shunned. Such is the libertarian way.

#RejectedRandPaulSlogans From @petridishes: http://t.co/yxs4yyQpYspic.twitter.com/rKIgSFTMul

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 7, 2015

5. Science Might Have Finally Discovered Actual Use For Lettuce

Due to a potentially crippling shortage of rubber in the coming years, we will have to find some substance from which to make our car's tires. According to research published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, it is possible that we may be able to utilize the sap of prickly lettuce to create a rubber substitute. Sounds pretty cool, though I'll be even happier if they can figure out a use for my entire salad.

New research suggests using "prickly lettuce sap" to overcome the rubber shortage. Whole Foods will now sell car tires for $1,200.00.

— Gladstone (@WGladstone) April 8, 2015

Justin Bieber lip syncing an Ozzy Osbourne song is more disturbing than you ever could have imagined.

I'd rather watch Ozzy Osbourne bite the head off a live animal than watch Justin Bieber pretend to be Ozzy Osbourne. Thanks to the show Lip Sync Battle, we get to see America's favorite Canadian bad boy bring this very nightmare to life. In just ten seconds of video footage, which feel achingly long, Mr. Bieber manages to be creepy as hell while lip syncing to "Crazy Train."

Art (or at least television) imitates life, since he's already been riding the crazy train for a while now. Love the wig, though. He really should consider keeping it.

The singer was attacked during a 2 AM Denny's stop after a concert in Alberta, Canada.

Everyone wants a piece of this guy.(Getty)

Lest anyone deny Marilyn Manson's powers of darkness, let it be known: he can make Canadians violent. The rock frontman and his entourage rolled into a Denny's on Saturday night after a concert in Lethbridge, Alberta. What happened next is unclear. There are a lot of sides to this story.

A witness told TMZ that Manson got into an argument with some customers at another table, called a man's girlfriend a bitch, and then that man punched him in the face. Team Manson, of course, is denying this, and says that the man came out of nowhere and sucker punched him for no reason. Another witness corroborated this story to the Calgary Sun, telling a reporter, "They were just talking and the guy just punched him right in the face without any provocation." He added that Manson's nose was bleeding afterwards, while the assailant hid in the parking lot.

This story is like a modern-day Rashomon, except better because Marilyn Manson is in it. Who should we believe, TMZ's witness or the Calgary Sun's? What's more believable, that a shock rocker would call a stranger a bitch, or that someone at a rural Canadian Denny's at 2 A.M. would punch someone for no reason? Both accounts are pretty compelling.

Manson definitely believes he's got the evidence on his side, because he's suing. I'm going to keep a close eye on this case. Not only do I want to know who wins, I want to see if Manson wears his makeup to court. I'll keep you posted.

Who knew the appendix could be a sex organ? (via r/Tinder)

The arms race between pick-up lines and comebacks has reached a fever pitch on Tinder. Here are some of the most clever, snappy, and hilarious comebacks from Tinder users who deserve to find true love.

Poetic and prophetic. (via Imgur)

She's the butt of her own joke. (via r/Tinder)

She might be more pleasant if she got more fiber. (via r/Tinder)

The man knows his guitars. (via Imgur)

And on the third day, she responded "no thanks." (via Imgur)

Not bad for a scruffy-looking nerf-herder. (via r/Tinder)

Guess they won't be forking any time soon. (via BuzzFeed)

Unless this is Kim Jong-Un, you're out of luck. (via BuzzFeed)

Don't Tinder and drive.

I hope she makes love to him as tenderly as she writes. (via Imgur)

Now to find out why Dad left. (via BuzzFeed)

That's silly, newborns aren't even allowed on Tinder. (via BuzzFeed)

Dead grandparents are a great aphrodisiac. (via r/Tinder)

"If it's cold out." (via BuzzFeed)

Don't date her, she's an upsexy enabler! (via r/Tinder)

The one thing they don't have in common. (via BuzzFeed)

Only seven? (via BuzzFeed)

1. This Lego fan who is also a "Golden Girls" fan.

(via Lego Ideas)

Did you know you can submit potential new Lego to modules to the company, and they'll consider them if you get enough votes? User LostSleep is trying to get their project of the ground and may have hit the sweet spot for people who are nostalgic for both building blocks and classic TV sitcoms. These new Golden Girl sets look amazing and with just a click you're that much closer to having Lego mass produce them.

2. Martha Stewart, who followed her roast domination with a gift basket.

Sending my Whim bed linens to my #bieberroast friends: @justinbieber@KevinHart4real@SnoopDogg@Ludacris@SHAQpic.twitter.com/X4UJCBO8VQ
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) April 8, 2015

Martha Stewart dominated Justin Bieber's roast, and she's not letting her legend die. She's putting it gently to bed, by sending all her fellow panelists sheets. It's a reference to, um, planned parenthood: "May I suggest pulling out some time and finishing on some fine highly absorbent Martha Stewart bed linens?"

3. The Mrs. Doubtfire Bandit, who has been robbing banks across Santa Cruz in style.

(via MSN)

We at Someecards do not condone stealing. But if you're going to steal, please revive one of the late, great Robin Williams's seminal comedic performances as a talking point. Whoever the bandit really is, they haven't hurt anyone during any of their heists...yet. Remember, robber, that's how Mrs. Doubtfire would want it.

4. Cosplayers, who made incredibly committed costumes for Emerald City Comicon.

This video was published this week by Beat Down Boogie, and it beautifully showcases the hard work of cosplayers at the recent Seattle, WA comicon. If you're gonna go to the trouble of making such incredible costumes, you deserve a slow-mo camera pan.

5. Plastic Jesus, who covered L.A. with "No Kardashian Parking" signs.

No #kardashian #parking anytime. #kardashian #kanyewest #urbanoutfitters #Melrose #sportiela #converse #nike #tomatopie #pizza #noparking #roadsign #realitytv ~~~~ 7 of these around town #Cecconi #labrea & #clinton
A photo posted by Plastic Jesus (@plasticjesus) on Apr 7, 2015 at 2:56pm PDT

Hey, maybe you're Team Kardashian. That's cool. Artist PlasticJesus is also cool and his favorite message "Stop making stupid people famous" is making him stupid famous. Find your bit and pimp it, PlasticJesus, just like a Kardashian.

Keep killing it, everybody!

Whew! I was worried he'd be found innocent, and we'd all have to kill him ourselves.

Guilty.

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was found guilty of conspiracy to use a weapon of mass destruction, a charge that could result in the death penalty. His lawyers argued that his role in the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013 only took place because his older brother coerced him. It must have been a jury of moms because that excuse never worked when I was growing up. Justice = served.

[Insert "downward dog" joke here]

He just wanted to be able to see his owner's sweet form better.

There's a dog. He's stealing his owner's glasses off his face. The owner can't stop him because his hands are busy attempting a headstand. What else do you want from me?

That'll teach you to give your attention to your body when your puppy needs it more!

The Internet is a minefield of terrible grammar. Someecards' resident English teacher Matt Cheplic is here to clear the mines—or die trying.

Eek. Here we go.

Last year, when Michael Sam became the first openly gay player drafted by an NFL team, we all knew the story would inspire plenty of debate, speculation, overreaction, bad jokes, and some old-fashioned hate speech for good measure. But what fan of football (or bold declarations about sexuality) could have predicted this bizarre and vicious assault on the English language:

This was one of the comments that followed a recent ESPN.com story, in which Sam (who was released by both the Rams and Cowboys before taking his talents to Dancing with the Stars) stated that other gay players in the NFL have reached out to him privately but don't possess the courage to come out publicly.

What I find amazing about this sentence is that it's such an efficient machine of awfulness – so many mistakes in only nine words (or clusters of letters that sometimes resemble words).

Let's break down some of its highlights:

1. “He just trying…"

Some would argue that such phrasing is acceptable as idiomatic. It's a little too “Me Tarzan, you Jane" for my taste. (On a similar note, I never understood why Dr. Banner would lose the ability to say “Hulk will smash" or “Hulk is planning to smash" while in Hulked-out mode. Perhaps the commenter in question was also in a gamma ray-assisted rage at the time.)

2. “ti"

Our commenter seems to be dropping a little Italian into the conversation here. It's a bold move, and to that one can only say Bravo, my friend. Bravo.

3. “get a jod"

This is likely a grievous spelling error (or an attempt to strike the “B" key during an earthquake). Now in fairness, I lead a pretty conventional, middle-class existence: it's possible that Mr. Sam and thousands of other gay men are out there every night hoping to “get a jod," and I'm simply not acquainted with the term.

4. “that alk"

The sentence ends on quite a note of intrigue. It appears the author has again neglected the verb “is" to attempt the phrase “that all" (a phrase no one uses in any circumstances. Try singing the refrain to the 1983 Genesis single “That's All" in this manner. It's very uncomfortable.) But the bizarre “alk" gives me pause: Is “that alk" supposed to be “that talk"? It doesn't seem logical, but then, searching for logic among this wreckage feels as pointless as discussing the missing comma and period.

It's worth noting that our commenter was trying to temper a nasty online discussion with a modicum of common sense and perspective. Sometimes, a situation cries out for a voice of reason, and that voice simply doesn't have the luxury of waiting six or seven seconds to form actual words.

The most horrifying part of this sentence?

Moving forward, I truly hope our society can be safe and welcoming for gay professional athletes. I would just like it to be safe for nouns and verbs, too.

Moral of the story: never admit anything to airlines. Or talk to them. Or give them money.

Elizabeth Sedway, 51, from Granite Bay, California, has been fighting blood cancer (multiple myeloma) for five years. Of the many struggles this has forced her to endure, being kicked off of airlines was never one of them until Monday, when she tried to fly home from Hawaii on Alaska Airlines. As Sedway described the encounter on Facebook:

"We were at gate 8 ready to depart on Alaska Airlines for San Jose. An airline employee saw me seated in the handicap section of the boarding area. She asked me if I needed anything."

So far in this story, Alaska Airlines seems like it employs really nice people. Who wouldn't appreciate someone like that?

"The first time. I said no. The second time, [I] said, well I might need a bit of extra time to board, sometimes I feel weak. Because I said the word weak, the Alaska Airlines employee called a doctor, she claimed was associated with the airlines."

Ok, well, that seems like a bit of an overreaction. Lots of people need extra time boarding, and even air travelers (generally the crankiest of people) don't mind waiting for those who need a little help.

"After we board the plane. An Alaska representative boarded the plane, and told us I could not fly without a note from a doctor stating that I was cleared to fly. The video is of us being removed from the plane."

As Sedway told CBS in San Francisco, "It was shocking... We've flown for five years with this diagnosis, and I felt humiliated." Feel like punching the back of the seat in front of you? Don't, because it's rude and someone's sitting there. But hold on to your armrest because it's about to get worse. As Sedway wrote in a separate Facebook post:

"I [was] scheduled for chemo, at home, on Tuesday and Wednesday. Because of this, I will miss my chemotherapy, my children will miss school and my husband will miss important meetings."

Sorry about the husband and kids, but I think those are a bit less important.

Not only is it bizarre, it involves Kafka-esque failures of bureaucratic logic.

As Sedway told KTLA News, she actually did email her doctor during this process, "He said, 'If you feel fine, you should be able to fly,' [but] he did not say that I was cleared to fly, so they pulled us off."

That's not even the biggest question, which is what Sedway can be heard asking in the video: "Does anybody wonder how I got to Hawaii?"

The day that has been foretold is finally upon us.

For years now, non-cable-having TV junkies have been shoving fistfuls of cash into HBO's face and begging it to take their money so that they could guiltlessly enjoy all of its wanton decapitations, dangling genitalia and thoughtful social commentary. Because if there's one thing that's gonna ruin your enjoyment of a lingering frontal-nudity close-up, it's the knowledge that you came by this video via less-than-savory means. HBO, however, remained adamant that all of its viewers be either cable subscribers or pitiless Internet brigands.

Until today! HBO has finally caved to the pressure and, as of just a few hours ago, started offering an Internet-streaming service called HBO NOW. At the moment, it's only available on Apple products—iPads, iPhones, AppleTV—but that will probably change one day. Maybe probably. Hopefully maybe probably?

At any rate, here's John Oliver—star of the brilliant HBO news series Last Week Tonight—providing a sort of official-ish announcement on behalf of the station that pays his rent:

And here is a long list of the many, many series—on top of the multitudinous movies, sportball shows and amazing documentaries—that you will be able to start shoving into your eyeholes if you decide to sign up for the service. As a longtime HBO watcher (the subscription comforted me on many a day when I was scrounging change to by a pack of ramen for dinner), I've seen a lot of these, so I've include asterisks indicating my personal recommendations, which you're free to ignore:

Angels in America

Angry Boys

Band of Brothers

Big Love

Boardwalk Empire*

Bored to Death

Carnivàle

The Comeback

Curb Your Enthusiasm*

Deadwood*

Doll & Em

Eastbound & Down*

Enlightened

Entourage

Extras*

Family Tree

Five Days

Flight of the Conchords*

Foo Fighters: Sonic Highways

Game of Thrones*********

Generation Kill

Getting On*

Girls*

Hello Ladies

How to Make It in America

Hung*

In Treatment

Ja'mie: Private School Girl

The Jinx

John Adams

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver*

The Leftovers

Life's Too Short

Little Britain USA

Looking

Lucky Louie

Mildred Pierce

The Newsroom

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

Olive Kitteridge

Oz*

The Pacific*

Parade's End

Real Time with Bill Mahar

Rome*

Russell Simmons: Brave New Voices

Sex and the City

Silicon Valley

Six Feet Under

The Sopranos*******************

Tell Me You Love Me

Togetherness

Treme

True Blood

True Detective*

Veep*

Vice

The Wire**********************************

New North Korean textbooks claim Kim Jong Un drove a car at the tender age of three.

Here is Kim Jong Un looking serious. (via UPI)

The following is a fictional conversation between two parents one-upping each other about their childrens' accomplishments:

"My three year old can drive a car!"
"Oh yeah? My nine year old beat the owner of a yacht company in a yacht race!"

Unfortunately, both of the above statements are presented as childhood facts about current Sexiest Man On Earth, Kim Jong Un, in a new set of North Korean teaching materials. I feel bad for the teachers who have to convince their students of these farcical tales, however they were probably taught similar bonkers facts about Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung when they were kids.

The regime's choices in glorifying the Supreme Leader could have come straight out of The Interview. Activists in South Korea are floating copies of The Interview to their neighbors in the North, so hopefully one day they'll get the reference.

I really wish there was video footage of Kim Jong Un's superior navigation skills, both on land and at sea. How adorable would it be to see a three year old driving a car? Or a cool little nine year old racing a gigantic boat? Hopefully, someone is already working on making these videos.

Cast members from the cult classic TV series made this video to convince him to return.

Three days ago, director/co-creator David Lynch dropped out of Showtime's highly-anticipated Twin Peaks revival. Although the project hasn't officially been canceled, this was obviously a huge blow. David Lynch was the driving force behind the series, and any version without his involvement would be like a cup without damn fine coffee.

That's why cast members from the original series collaborated on this video to sway him. Madchen Amick (who played Shelly Johnson) posted it on social media, but a number of cast members were involved. It's great to see some of these familiar faces: Sheryl Lee, Dana Ashbrook, James Marshall, Peggy Lipton, and more. Notably absent is Kyle MacLachlan, who played Dale Cooper. Presumably, however, he's in constant telepathic contact with David Lynch, so maybe he'd just rather be private about it.

Let's hope this message gets through to Lynch and he comes around. As a Twin Peaks fan myself, I'm ambivalent about the reboot, but considering that Lynch apparently left over money, this whole business has left a bitter taste in my mouth. And not bitter like coffee. The bad kind of bitter.