This guy was pumping up the crowd for his inevitable victory when someone pulled ahead of him on the track.

You haven't won until you've crossed the finish line. It's a hard lesson to learn, but Oregon runner Tanguy Pepiot has definitely learned it. He was so close to winning this year's Pepsi Team Invitational. The crowd was cheering and he wanted them to cheer louder. Louder! I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Of course, if you're concentrating too much on the potential accolades, you forget about the task. Seeing the opportunity, Meron Simon—the man who was moments ago in second place—pulled ahead and won the race.

Pepiot kind of gestures at Simon as Simon wins, his face saying, "What the f*ck, not cool, dude!" Then he realizes what he's done in front of the crowd and has to lie down for a minute. Simon helps him off the ground with a hug, because it's important to be a gracious winner.

The agony and the ecstasy of it all:

Nice try "Marco Rubio" — or should I say... [rearranges letters] "BIRAC UBOMA" [audience gasps]

So Cal Corgi Beach day is a quarterly event where corgis gather on a beach and we wish it was everyday.

This incredible event began in 2012 with just a dozen dogs. This weekend's Corgi Beach Day saw about 500 adorable corgis jumping, swimming, waddling and getting covered in sand. If you love the noble little corgi this is the event for you. And if you love them, but your pup is of more *ahem* indeterminate origins, don't worry. According to the So Cal Corgi Beach Day Facebook page, all dogs are made honorary corgis for the day. All right, enough talk, let's enjoy these cute dogs.

Slow-mo dog bro.

BUTTS.

Shark with 'tude.

YES! Kiss all the corgis.

I get tired at the beach, too, but it's not cute at all.

Hot guy holding a corgi is the best of what the Internet has to offer.

If you want to see this joyous day in person and are in the Huntington Beach area, the next meet-up is July 11th. And for the rest of us, there's still the dream...

Avengers: Age Of Cuervotron.

Now, when Jimmy Kimmel explains the rules of this celebrity-packed Family Feud, he says that two wrong answers leads to tequila shots. And yet, we never see the tequila itself. I have only one explanation for this that is backed up by the footage itself: the cast of the 'Avengers' drank all the tequila on set before stumbling onstage. It's cool, though, because through teamwork they clearly defeated the evil worm villain in the bottle and all came together to have a sloppy good time yelling things at the increasingly-irrelevant host of their evening.

In this animation, "Goodnight Moon" becomes "Goodnight Westeros" as George R.R. Martin tucks himself into bed.

The folks at The Watercooler, Mashable'sYouTube channel, came up with this very cool vision of a children's book written by George R.R. Martin. In it, we get to see him say goodnight to all the important characters and objects from all around Westeros: Lannisters, cannisters, a dagger, a crown, a traitorous whore, a quiet man whispering, "Hodor." Goodnight ice wall, goodnight Ned. Goodnight white walkers, goodnight gods, goodnight Starks and goodnight Boltons.

Goodnight, George R.R. Martin, please finish the f*cking books.

1. Turns Out Cookie Monster Is Also A Sex-Offense Monster

Iconic pastry-obsessed muppet Cookie Monster—or possibly a person dressed as him—was arrested in Times Square over the weekend after allegedly feeling up a teenaged tourist. Considering his legendary impulse control issues, this is probably something we should have seen coming.

Technically he was created by Dr. Cookie, that's why they call him The Cookie Monster.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 24, 2014

2. Science: Near-Death Experiences Continue To Not Be Real

According to a new study from the University of Michigan, so-called "near-death experiences"—in which people feel their spirits floating peacefully above their bodies or witness deceased loved ones coming to take them away to a better place—are mere hallucinations that result from the brain's attempts to speed up the heart's final actions so that the body can get on with decaying into nothingness in the cold, dark ground. Isn't science beautiful?

A near-death experience is just God butt dialing you

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) February 28, 2015

3. New Poll Reveals Which Areas Of The World Are Most Religious And Which Ones God Will Be Smiting Any Time Now

According to a new WIN/Gallup International poll, the most religious regions on Earth are Africa and the Middle East, with Thailand, Armenia and Bangladesh taking honors as the most devout nations. On the other hand, Western Europe and Oceania were found to be the least religious regions, while China, Japan and Sweden were the least devout nations. So, now you know where to go if you want to practice your religion without anybody murdering you.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing bigots they could dress up homophobia as religious freedom and still get into Heaven

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 2, 2015

4. 'Guitar Hero' And 'Rock Band' Are Coming Back To Suck Up Your Few Remaining Moments Of Free Time

After five terrible years spent not bashing a plastic guitar against the wall in frustration, fans of the video games Guitar Hero and Rock Band will finally be getting new and improved versions of their favorite time-sucks this fall, according to an announcement from Activision Blizzard Inc. So, make sure to get your affairs in order before their releases, because you won't be very productive for a while after that.

A Clinton running for president? A new Guitar Hero game? What year is it, 1992? 2006? A different one? What year is it? Who am I? What's hap

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 14, 2015

5. 'Wonder Woman' Director Fired From Project, Probably For Trying To Make It Good

Many people's justifiable qualms about DC/Warner Bros.'s upcoming adaptation of the Wonder Woman comic book series were assuaged upon learning that rock-solid TV director Michelle MacLaren (Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul) was hired to direct. That's all gone now, after news broke that MacLaren and Warner were parting ways due to "creative differences," which is probably code for "MacLaren tried to take the stink out of DC's silly-looking attempts to ape Marvel's extended universe."

P.S. MacLaren’s fondness for low angle shots plus Gadot's short Wonder Woman skirt would have been trouble. pic.twitter.com/AXKOxfTAtp

— Joanna Robinson (@jowrotethis) April 14, 2015

Stephen Hawking lends his distinctive voice to the classic Monty Python "Galaxy Song."

Whenever I'm feeling worked up over something trivial, I like to remind myself I'm just a star fart. Just particles of cosmic dust, flying through the universe too quickly to see, burning out bright and fast.

Monty Python wrote a song about those feelings of insignificance combined with reverent wonder for their 1983 classic TheMeaning of Life. Now they have the incredible Stephen Hawking doing a cover. If there's anyone who has some perspective on a human being's place in the universe, it's this guy.

The music video shows Hawking's chair zooming through our expanding world cut up with footage from Monty Python's live show, then and now. The fleeting nature of life makes the meaningless of it truly precious. Star farts.

1.

True love is never wasting food.(Via)

It's okay to hate the Facebook couple. In fact, it's human nature. A recent study found that people who are vocal about their committed relationships on Facebook are liked the least by others. Not only is it a common reaction to be irritated or grossed out by Facebook PDA, science proves that it's downright inevitable. So if you want to be liked on Facebook, here are 27 couples you should try not to emulate.

2.

Does that count as non-invasive surgery?(Via)

3.

When you're 12, 3 months is an eternity.(Via)

4.

Now every guy is going to try that line.(Via)

5.

That must be one hell of a perfume.(Via)

6.

Daniel needs to be reminded where you kiss people.(Via)

7.

Yeah, that might be TMI.(Via)

8.

Then give it a few more hours for the swelling to go down.(Via)

9.

The cops burst in like "Oh yeahhh!"(Via)

10.

They both deserve a medal.(Via)

11.

Except a restaurant will serve alcohol to make this tolerable. (Via)

12.

In this case "Yolo" means "I 100% agree with your observation concerning my maturity."(Via)

13.

Aw, you guys make the cutest mistake. I mean, couple. Cutest couple!(Via)

14.

Yes, even forbidden lovers are irritating.(Via)

15.

Hope they can make it past that 7-day itch.(Via)

16.

He only "sticks" it in when he's in love. (Via)

17.

Gee. You guys have such a close bond it's like you don't even need Facebook. (HINT HINT!)(Via)

18.

Some volatile trading in today's Who Loves Who More market. Hopefully tomorrow will be less nauseating. (Via)

19.

Single people should be allowed one scot-free murder of a couple in love. Just one. Just to get it out of their systems. (Via)

20.

Get a room! Or better yet, get a phone that texts!

21.

Even James Cameron would side with Steven in this instance.(Via)

22.

Nightly pee break? Get that checked out. Also, ew.(Via)

23.

Franklin, if you need help and you're afraid to say so, poke twice.(Via)

24.

Um, she took the extra L for her love? Kind of want to friend Kristin just to unfriend her.(Via)

25.

WE WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOUR WORD FOR IT!!!

26.

She probably unfriended you. You can friend her attorney if you want. (Via)

27.

You're her present, but you can't expect her to unfriend the past.(Via)

Famous women's bodies are taking quite a hit online today.

Three bad bitches. (via Getty)

It's no news that people act like a bunch of dicks online, especially when it comes to women's appearance. Today, I bring you three stories of women being awesome and totally owning it.

Let's start with Pink.

She attended her friend's cancer benefit on Sunday night in a black dress. However, underneath the black dress was her human woman's body, meaning there were morons online who were compelled to voice their negative opinions about it. Pink saw these awful, body-shaming tweets (which I'm not posting on purpose), and responded with the following message:

Pink, you are a gem. Even at 11% battery life! (via twitter)

I love you, Pink! Thank you for being a mature, confident adult, and also a badass who performs mind-blowing stunts that require immense strength.

Ok. Next up is Chrissy Teigen.

She posted this picture on Instagram on Monday:

Own your stretch marks. (via instagram)

Yes! This makes me so happy. She received a huge amount of support for this photo, and rightfully so, since this is the best use of Instagram filters since the invention of Instagram. Let's never again ask the question "which filter hides the imperfections on my body?" From now on let's use filters for their original purpose: pretending to be photographers.

The last story of the day is about Janelle Monáe.

The musical/dance/fashion icon released a new video yesterday. One twitter user said: “girl stop being so soulful and be sexy..tired of those dumbass suits..you fine but u too damn soulful man." Her response:

Sit. Down. (via twitter)

Pure gold. Simply the perfect reaction to the tweet equivalent of the male gaze. Janelle you are a star and I love you!

Let's follow the example of these women when it comes to body-shaming. I seriously can't wait to tell a hater to "sit down."

Welcome to This Week in GOOP, where Gwyneth Paltrow's ladybits are so special they get their own spa treatments.

Let's start with “intuitive" Jill Willard, who wants to teach us all about our bodies – namely, that they're made up of four distinct parts (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual). The physical is obviously your actual body, but she describes the other three as being like “rings" around it. This is the part where most people would make a reference to Saturn, but Jill wisely sidesteps that, perhaps not wanting to compare GOOP readers to giant gassy planets. Jill may be esoteric, but she's no one's dummy.

Speaking of gas, let's move on to food! (I'M NOT SORRY.) And if you liked last week's 13-ingredient lunch recipe, you're in for a treat. Behold the DIY Portable Lunch, inspired by a new Santa Monica eatery that serves wraps.

But because gluten makes the Baby Jesus cry, various forms of greenery are used instead of tortillas.

It's like one big sushi roll. I love sushi! So far I'm down with it. And the DIY part of the article title would seem to indicate that you can, you know, “do it yourself." Excellent! Show me how, oh Priestess of Pretension. I cook. I can totally do this.

You know that “record scratch" sound effect they sometimes use in movies when things go wrong?

Yeah, that's what I heard when I looked at the recipe for the Beef Bulgogi wrap. It involves marinade, sauce, vegetable mix and assembly instructions requiring dozens of ingredients, the choreography of a Broadway musical and at least one Iron Chef. Other than that, though, totally DIY.

Up next, Gwynnie highlights an upcoming auction featuring a slew of amazing things you probably can't afford, like an 18^th century studded safe and a pair of chairs from Al Capone's hideout.

Also, a stone and iron Mesoamerican Sculptural Fragment– which, by the looks of it, is what they titled this thing because “Prehistoric Dildo" would've looked weird in the catalog.

Moving right along, let's peek in on Spring Shoe Trends. Most of these are pretty unremarkable, varying from $40 Gap slip-ons all the way up to $1650 Fendi sandals (which I now want so much I'd sell a vital organ).

But then, well, there are these.

Gwynnie has them listed in the Statement Sneaker category, and if you listen closely, the statement they're making is “I'm a pair of $650 silver pleather shoes with soles wrapped in that shit they put on scratching posts and I was designed by someone you'd never have heard of if her father wasn't a Beatle." So.

Those shoes are also listed on GOOP's What's New page, so feel free to pair them with other gems there like a $1200 Carven shell jacquard dress (must've had some leftover fabric from the $650 matching shorts), a Benetton sweater masquerading as an $1100 Pierre Hardy purse, and a shapeless $400 Philip Lim sweatshirt dress that'll look good on absolutely no one, yay!

As always, Gwynnie, we're not worthy.

Just because you don't have legs doesn't mean you can't jump.

This picture is 10x better if you've ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.
(via USAWTFM on Facebook)

The Facebook page US Army W.T.F! Moments has, as advertised, many WTF moments captured on film by the men and women of the armed services. WTF, of course, is an Army acronym meaning "Well, That's Fantastic!" Indeed, this photo of a paratrooper bringing "Willy MakeIt" (his pet Betta fish, aka Japanese Fighting Fish) along on a training mission is fantastic, so much so that it quickly established a foothold on major sites like reddit not long after being dropped on the Internet.

The paratrooper in question is one Matt Tattersall, who posted this proof (below) that the fish made it safely to the ground. I'd be more careful about posting his name and getting him in trouble, but as I mentioned, he posted this photo (with his name on his jacket and helmet) to Facebook. He also left his name written on his helmet in the top photo posted to USAWTFM.

"I'd probably have a face you could take seriously if you hadn't just seen that other picture."

According to redditors (which should translate to "there's a 70% chance what I'm about to say is completely made up"), this public buddy drop has indeed led to some discipline for Tattersall. According to those same unreliable sources, though, he only has 100 days left in the Army, and so he's officially DGAF. DGAF is a non-army abbreviation for having a lighthearted, carefree attitude.

Viktoria's father filmed her reaction to a famous death scene in a Disney classic.

For many people of my generation, the death of Mufasa in The Lion King was our first taste of heartbreak. What kind of god/animator would let something so cruel happen? And would Scar pay for what he'd done? I still don't know. I ran tear-stricken out of the theater in 1994 and never looked back.

[Editor's note: Not all children react identically to Mufasa's death. My then-four-or-five year-old brother Kevin saw this in the theaters. When Mufasa died, a slightly younger kid behind us asked his parents what happened. My brother stood up on his seat, turned around, leaned over and yelled "He's dead! Mufasa's DEAD!" and then calmly sat back down, having given this toddler the 411 on death.]

It's nice that future generations will be able to know the same pain. And thanks to the Internet, their parents can keep documenting and sharing that pain for all of us to enjoy. Let's just hope Viktoria never sees Bambi. I don't know if any of us could handle that.

This actor does an uncanny series of impressions of Robin Williams characters. Yes, even Jakob the Liar.

Did you think this was the real Robin Williams? It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
(via YouTube)

It takes guts to do impressions, because a person can only be absolutely amazing at them, or absolutely terrible at them. There is no in-between. Secondly, it's really bold to do impressions of a beloved actor who was also one of the best mimics of all time. But Jamie Costa had the goods and uploaded dozens of Vines in 2013 and 2014 of himself doing impressions, including a series of uncanny re-creations of Robin Williams' characters, and even Robin Williams doing impressions. When Williams died last summer, Costa stopped doing Williams videos, out of respect and heartbreak.

But Costa is back, having edited a bunch of his Williams clips into a single supercut, a two-minute run through a ton of characters at a breakneck speed of Williams-like proportions. Costa also looks quite a lot like Robin Williams, which makes his takes on Patch Adams, grown-up Peter Pan, Popeye, Mork, Good Morning Vietnam Guy, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Teddy Roosevelt all the more delightful.

This guy was having a merry old time on the 2 train surprising passengers with his 12-inch black dildo.

Flashbacked to being jumped by the Muslim Brotherhood when he pointed the damned thing at me. http://t.co/whA3XDHyG6pic.twitter.com/5cJhlo398R
— aymann.com (@aymanndotcom) April 8, 2015

Animal New York photographer, Aymann Ismail, was on the Flatbush-bound 2 train this Saturday when a seemingly intoxicated man boarded his car. According to his account, the man was being teased by some young men beside him when he suddenly whipped out an enormous black dildo.

While usually a lone man drunk on the train is sad, not funny, this guy just seems so pleased with himself. And he has a dildo. According to Ismail, what had begun as some spontaneous sex toy waving, was soon a delightful game:

"Every time the train pulled into a station, he'd put the dildo away, sit quietly, let people board, then whip it out and wave it around, startling the new passengers."

He's not the first person to turn a sad situation into an absurdist one with a dildo. There was also the unclaimed penis mold at baggage claim, which sounds pathetic, but makes me laugh every time. And the guy being interviewed about the Boston Bombing, oblivious to the giant pink phallus behind him. Maybe it's puerile, but a good d*ck joke smooths over any awkward situation. For instance, a guy wagging a dildo at you.

Amusement is waning.(via ANIMAL New York, photo by Aymann Ismail)

Shout-out to that lady on his right who is not giving up her seat for ANYTHING.

There's no U.S. agency, army or drone that can stop THIS terrorist. http://t.co/GsOV57QmyN#DildoTerroristpic.twitter.com/lOQngUyhiU
— ANIMALNewYork (@ANIMALNewYork) April 9, 2015

An Alaska Airlines flight made an emergency landing when screams were heard coming from the cargo hold.

Naptime rescue mission. (via wxpi)

If your job is to load baggage into airplanes, the cargo hold of jet is a poor location for a nap. An employee found this out the terrifying way when he woke up from a mid-shift slumber to find himself trapped in the cargo hold of Alaska Airlines Flight 448 on Monday.

He reacted to this nightmare situation in the correct manner--by banging and screaming. Passengers and crew members heard his cries and the flight made an emergency landing. The Los Angeles-bound flight departed Seattle at 2:39pm and landed right back in Seattle a mere 14 minutes later.

The sleepy agent has already been discharged from the hospital, and he even passed a drug test! Looks like he was just exhausted. Maybe he should sleep on the toilet during work like the rest of us. Everyone naps on the toilet, right? RIGHT?

1.

I got a laptop for my graduation, too.(via reddit)

There are plenty of reasons to have kids—companionship, extending the family name, cheap labor—but the best reason to have kids is to use them to entertain yourself.

2.

What happens when your parents paint the house while you're at college.(via reddit)

3.

It's important to start them reading early.(via reddit)

4.

Gross, her parents had sex.(via reddit)

5.

It's a family joke.(via reddit)

6.

Were they fighting over a Tony Hawk game?(via reddit)

7.

Guess you're out of luck if you get an A.(via reddit)

8.

It was probably an honor just to be nominated.(via reddit)

9.

Raising children and lowering expectations.(via reddit)

10.

Can't believe this guy baled on his kids.(via imgur)

11.

I know what slice I want! (via reddit)

12.

It's a boy! (via reddit)

13.

This takes playing horsey to a whole new level. (via reddit)

This question written for 14-year-olds has gone viral, with adults around the world struggling to figure it out.

Uhhhhh… pass?(via Facebook)

Once we're out of school, most adults don't want to be tested. We honestly would rather not answer any difficult questions, unless they're about the color of a dress. Still, we like to think we'd be able to keep up.

That's why it's so distressing to find out this mind-bending question was intended for 14-year-olds competing in the Singapore and Asian Schools Math Olympiads (SASMO). It's actually the first time a SASMO question has been leaked before the test, so for all we know, they're all like this. How smart are these kids??

I tried to figure out this question. I thought about it for 45 seconds, and then I smelled burnt toast and had to lie down. And when I got up, I had forgotten how to spell berthday.

Here's an explanation of the solution, provided by Singapore-based tutoring service Study Room:

First we need to figure out if Albert knows the month or the day. If he knows the day, then there is no chance that Bernard knows the birthday, so it must be that Albert knows the month.

From the first statement, we know that Albert is sure that Bernard doesn't know the birthday, so May and June should be ruled out (the day 19 only appears in May and the day 18 only appears in June). In other words, if Albert had May or June, then he cannot be sure that Bernard doesn't know, since Bernard could have had 18 or 19.

Following that statement, Bernard knows that May and June are ruled out.

Then, Bernard is able to know which month it is. So it must be either July 16, August 15 and August 17 (not 14th as then he can't know).

Since Albert subsequently can also be sure of the date, he must know it's July. If it's August, he can't be sure as there is August 15 and 17.

So the answer is July 16.

Yup. Still don't get it. Is the answer magic? Let's say it's magic.