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Seasonal
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Ricky Gervais isn't done shaming the woman who posed with a dead giraffe.
Earlier this week Ricky Gervais tweeted a disturbing photo of a hunter and dead giraffe and he's got more to say about it.
This Tofu & Rice was old and sad and wanted me to kill it. Now I will eat it. pic.twitter.com/5vsstpUZaL
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 16, 2015
Ricky Gervais posed with his next meal, mocking the original photo he posted of Rebecca Francis lying next to the giraffe she had just killed. Rebecca's photo was upsetting to anyone who isn't a hunter who smiles next to dead animals. She's been receiving death threats and has no intention of changing her lifestyle, yet Ricky Gervais continues to single her out in his twitter feed.
Although looking at images of this woman's hunting trophies makes me want to schedule a meeting with myself called "Crying Time," part of me wants Mr. Gervais to lay off Rebecca Francis. He's made his feelings about her clear, and it's starting to feel like bullying.
His twitter feed is full of anti-hunting and anti-poaching links, and hopefully his passionate support of this issue won't include targeting humans the way hunters target their prey.
I received death threats over a stupid comedy video, so you can imagine the horrible threats this woman is receiving for proudly killing animals. Can't we all just get along? Humans with animals, and humans with each other? Is it noon yet? Because I need a drink.
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This fantastic bluegrass version of the 'Game of Thrones' theme is probably how they listen to it down in Dorne.
"Foggy 'The Mountain That Rides' Breakdown."
On this week's episode, we get our first real look at Dorne. I feel like I've been waiting for this about as long as Dornish Prince Oberyn Martell had been waiting to exact revenge upon the Lannisters for what they did to his sister Elsa and her kids. Hopefully, I'll get better satisfaction than than he did (though, I do not rule out the possibility of gouging my own eyes out if HBO messes it up to badly).
Anyway, in honor of this momentous occasion, here's the Samurai Guitarist's recursive bluegrass cover of the show's theme song, because I figure that if they're gonna listen to bluegrass music anywhere, it'll be in the hot and steamy climate of Dorne, the southernmost region of Westeros.
(Actually, the Reach is probably a better candidate for bluegrass appreciation, since they seem a bit more American South than Dorne. But I don't really care about the Reach all that much, so I'm just going with Dorne on this one. My sincere apologies for any psychological damage I may have caused with my assumptions.)
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A man figured out how to express his dislike for Hillary Clinton from beyond the grave.
This man's obituary included voting instructions.
Spooky politics. (via thinkstock)
Larry Darrell Upright passed away on Monday at the age of 81 at a hospital in North Carolina. Apparently, his political agenda was so important to him that this was included in his obituary: "the family respectfully asks that you do not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016. R.I.P. Granddaddy." Way to pull at my heartstrings while simultaneously causing intense eye-rolling by bringing politics into the memory of a deceased family member.
Politics have always evoked strong feelings in people, and I give this man points for finding a creative way to express himself from beyond the grave. However, I hope I'm not concerned with politics on my deathbed. Instead, I'll be planning my funeral, which will be the party of the century.
You can read Larry Darrell Upright's full obituary here.
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Be a hero: Print this out and put it next to the worst piece of technology in your office.
Everyone will like you for calling out the machine everyone hates.
We don't want to name names but a certain something in your office is giving you a ton of grief - and it's not even a coworker! If your printer doesn't drive you insane, be the one to bring a little joy to your office and print this out and leave it near your number one mechanical enemy.
<<CLICK HERE FOR THE PRINTABLE VERSION>>
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Somewhat Topical
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Somewhat Topical
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Confession
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Shockingly, the progeny of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel looks cute in this new Instagram.
Handsome man Justin Timberlake and his gorgeous wife Jessica Biel have created a very adorable son, and now we've all seen the evidence.
Performer Justin Timberlake, heartthrob to millions, and his wife actress Jessica Biel, also super hot, shared the first public photo of their not-so-surprisingly charming baby boy in an Instagram yesterday.
Silas Randall Timberlake, who is is one week old and already very good-looking, appeared in a Grizzlies t-shirt in the photo. It was posted on Instagram by his smokin' daddy with the caption "The Timberlakes are ready!!! GO GRIZZ! #GritNGrind#Playoffs#BabyGrizzROAR."
It's still unclear whether Silas is so damn cute because of his beautiful parentage or because he is a one-week-old baby, but either way he appears to be practicing his wink.
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Article 23
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This British couple paid just $15 for a Beanie Baby that could make them very rich.
This lucky couple won the Beanie Baby lottery.
This beanie baby is worth a fortune http://t.co/jM6qnUcjLdpic.twitter.com/zUnMHXMiOx
— The Independent (@Independent) April 19, 2015Leah Rogers and Ryan Flanaghan paid £10 (about $15) for a rare first edition Princess Diana Beanie Baby and are selling it on eBay for £62,000 (a little over $93,000). Before you call your parents and have them dig through the basement for your old Beanie Babies, you should know there are only 100 of these bears, and they're probably in the UK. Ok but you should still totally call your parents, because you never know.
This couple had some serious luck. They attended a car boot sale (a UK flea market) to sell some of Rogers' old Beanie Babies, so she had been researching prices online. Flanaghan ventured off during the sale and returned with the rare Princess Diana bear and said, "It's that bear that we saw on the internet last night." For real?!? What. Are. The. Chances.
I hope it sells on eBay for tons of £££s, because they're going to use the money to buy a house. I love this story. Ok I have to find out if my hoarding grandmother in Florida has any rare Beanie Babies.
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Hang in there.
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Thanks to modern technology, we can finally see a marriage proposal from a dog's point of view.
Will you make this dog the happiest family pet in the world?
Finally! All the time I've wasted watching proposal videos online has paid off. I can finally see how a dog feels about true love. It's about the same as people: beautiful for about thirty seconds, then you hear or smell something in the distance that distracts you, and by the time you turn back around, the moment's over.
I wish these three all the luck in the world, but most especially the dog, who already looks sad that someone else is going to steal attention from his owner. I hope the couple makes it, but I'd also be interested in a really long video called "Dog's perspective of a trial separation."
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11 stoners being amazed by ordinary things.
1. Spelling.
(via Lamebook)
Happy 4/20, everyday! For the uninitiated, this is the one day a year when stoners celebrate their passion for weed by smoking it. OK, technically that's every day of the year, but don't take this away from them. That's the magic of pot – it turns something you do every day into a magical, once-in-a-lifetime experience. If you don't believe me, here are twelve examples of potheads being completely blown away by really normal stuff.
2. A cat.
3. Water in the sink.
4. Cartoons.
(via Lamebook)
5. A spider.
6. Art that looks like him.
(Via Reddit)
7. Video games in sync.
8. A grasshopper being eaten by a bird.
9. Traffic signals.
(Via Lamebook)
10. Lightning.
11. A double rainbow.
We included this one last for two reasons: because it's an Internet classic, and also because that guy was actually sober (that day). Anyway, the point is you don't need drugs to enjoy life, and all that crap. Now go get blazed.
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David Hasselhof uses up the Internet's remaining 80s nostalgia in this insane music video.
Think you can't get enough cheesy 80s tropes? Think again!
The theme song for Kung Fury (the upcoming film spawned from a Kickstarter funding frenzy) is here and it is sung by David Hasselhoff.
The video has cars, guns, blood, babes and the Hoff riding a T. Rex. What more could you want? I don't know, maybe entertainment that is original rather than the safe bet of throwing every 80s action trope you can think of together and hitting "blend?" Hasselhoff jumping on the "let's make fun of 80s stuff" bandwagon seems less hip self-deprecation and more "Look at me! I'm in on the joke too! Hahahah and LOL!"
But what do I know? This thing has Hoff riding a goddamn T. Rex. It's hard to argue against that.
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 20, 2015
1. FDA Considers Holding Homeopathy Up To Rigorous Standards Of Reality
After a quarter-century, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration is considering changing its stance on homeopathic remedies and requiring their approval to be based upon science and evidence instead of wishful thinking and good intentions.
Wait, you're telling me a Nothing pill does NOTHING? Whaaaaaaaaaaat? http://t.co/vfIDPnSr0a
— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) March 11, 2015
2. Jon Stewart Was Annoyed That Jon Stewart Let Donald Rumsfeld Get Off Easy
Soon-to-be-departing Daily Show host Jon Stewart recently divulged that his single biggest regret during his sixteen years on the show was not pushing former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld harder on the war in Iraq during a 2011 interview. "That interview with Rumsfeld went shitty, but it's still just an interview," Stewart told the Guardian. "He's the one who has to live with the repercussions of what he really did, so there's nothing that could happen on my show that carries that same level of regret." True, and Rumsfeld is almost certainly a wreck over the whole ordeal.
“Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him." ― Jon Stewart #politics#quotes
— Political Titans (@PoliticalTitans) April 17, 2015
3. Jeb Bush Flirts With Political Suicide By Nearly Admitting That Science Is Real
GOP primary frontrunner Jeb Bush seems about to throw all of his conservative credentials away by kind of stating in sort of plain-ish words that climate change could possibly be a real thing that we might maybe have to deal with eventually at some point down the line. "The climate is changing, and I'm concerned about that," Bush told a crowd of certainly stunned supporters at an event in New Hampshire. Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker could be heard immediately afterwards yelping victoriously from several states away.
First GOP presidential hopeful to admit climate change just might be a problem. Oh the courage! http://t.co/OmcKqNU38l
— Clara Vondrich (@Clara_Vondrich) April 20, 2015
4. HBO Sending The Faceless Men After Any Small Folk Who Pirated Leaked Episodes
HBO is reportedly seeking legal action against Internet brigands who downloaded and shared the four leaked episodes from the first half of Game of Thrones's fifth season. It makes you wonder: where could fans of the show have come up with justifications for such amoral behavior?
When Game of Thrones people start talking about "leaked episodes," it just sounds like one of Theon Greyjoy's post-torture problems.
— Peter Waldron (@pjwaldron) April 16, 2015
5. 'Conan' Writer Causes Controversy By Tweeting The Obvious
The vast majority of discerning comedy fans do not need to be reminded of the somewhat humdrum state of late night comedy these days, but longtime Conan writer Andres du Bouchet did anyway. He entered into an unnecessary and unnecessarily vitriolic tirade on Twitter. "Comedy in 2015 needs a severe motherf**ing shakeup. No celebrities, no parodies, no pranks, no mash-ups or hashtag wars," he wrote, capping it off with a profound call for Americans to "shove your lip-syncing up your ass." Strong words. Strong, silly words.
I wish one of my writers would focus on making my show funnier instead of tweeting stupid things about the state of late night comedy.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 19, 2015
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Article 16
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Meowch: this veterinarian was fired for posting a wildly inappropriate picture on Facebook.
A Texas veterinarian is in hot water over a picture of a cat she shot with a bow and arrow.
Scroll down for the disturbing uncensored photo.(Facebook via mySA)
Kristen Lindsey is a veterinarian who practiced at the Washington Animal Clinic in Brenham, Texas until last Friday. That's the day she was fired amid a firestorm of Internet criticism, after this photo went viral on the Internet. The unedited version features shows Lindsey holding up a dead cat with an arrow stuck in the back of its head, with the caption:
"My first bow kill lol. The only good feral tomcat is one with an arrow through it's head! Vet of the year award…gladly accepted"
The picture drew outrage across the Web, including hundreds of calls to the clinic. According to KBTX, Lindsey said in a comment on the post (which has since been deleted, along with her entire page): ""no I did not lose my job. Lol. Like someone would get rid of me. I'm awesome!"
Since posting that comment, she has been fired, and is now facing possible criminal charges. Killing even a feral cat is illegal under Texas animal cruelty laws, and a local animal rescue group told KBTX that the cat was not actually feral, but a foster cat under the care of a local elderly couple.
The cat in happier times.(Facebook via mySA)
Although public opinion of Lindsey's actions has been overwhelmingly negative, she does have her supporters. One local woman told KBTX: "She's amazing. She's caring. She's a good vet, so maybe her bad choice of posting something on Facebook was not good. But I don't think she should be judged for it." Another man said: "All these people in the cities just don't understand what goes on in the country and they get in an uproar. They ought to just mind their own business."
While it's true that feral cats are a problem in rural areas, decimating local bird and rodent populations, I don't know who would argue that the best solution is to shoot them with an arrow in your backyard, without checking if they're actually feral first. Especially not if you're a veterinarian who took an oath.
On the other hand, nobody should be tracking down Lindsey and sending her death threats, which has happened. Why can't anybody do something awful on the Internet without freaks threatening to do worse things to them? Use your outrage to do something nice, like foster a cat. And get it a helmet.
And now, because I have to, here's the photo:
Yeah, that sucks.(Facebook via mySA)
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Ben Affleck covered up a horrifying fact about his ancestors when he was on "Finding Your Roots."
Yet he still has not asked anyone to cover up the fact that he was in the 2003 'Daredevil' movie.
Still proud to reveal his penis in 'Gone Girl'
(via Getty)
You can thank North Korea and WikiLeaks for revealing that someone in Ben Affleck's family lineage once owned slaves. According to a newly published set of emails for the great Sony Hack of 2014 (remember that? Seems like years ago), Ben Affleck asked the producers of the show Finding Your Roots not to reveal their discovery. The host of the show, Henry Louis Gates, remarked in one email: "To do this would be in violation of PBS rules, actually, even for Batman"
Speaking of roots: how are we supposed to root for Batman in the upcoming Batman v Superman when we're thinking about how Bruce Wayne's family was probably so rich because of a dark time in America's history? It's going to completely take me out of the movie. That's the story here. Not that PBS may have caved to the star's proposition to censor the information. We need to keep stories like that under wraps otherwise we'll have no heroes left! Hide this stuff. For the children.
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A little boy got photobombed by his returning soldier dad, and it took him a really long time to catch on.
This sweet 8-year-old kid's dad showed up on Picture Day to surprise him with a photobomb.
Does he get to retake the photo? (screengrab via Youtube)
8-year-old Joshua attends Pearsontown Magnet Elementary in Durham, North Carolina. His dad, Corporal James Bass, had been deployed in Kuwait for months and away from home for a year. When he finally got leave, the Corporal decided to surprise his son by photobombing his school photo.
In the video below, the photographer shows Joshua the photo, and Joshua totally does not get it. The photographer finally has to be like, "Turn around, your dad's here."
The sweetest part, aside from their hug, is that Joshua tells his dad "You've still got it," which is the nicest thing you can say to a dad, military or civilian.
We've seen a ton of these viral soldier homecomings at this point, but this is, by far, our favorite one where the soldier's plan doesn't really work. That said, their reunion is still just as adorable. (It's almost as if gimmicks aren't what make soldier homecomings so emotional.)
Surprise soldier homecomings: you've still got it.
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