You'll never guess what the first item on the agenda is (you probably guessed):
In a campaign announcement video on RollingStone.com, Waka Flocka Flame made it official: he is in the running to be the next President of the United States of America. He claims the only person in his way is Hillary Clinton because women "who already have all the rights" seem to like her. He still thinks he can win if he runs on these major issues:
1. Legalize it.
It might seem like a joke to you, but it's clearly near and dear to his heart and could help a lot of people currently in prison for non-violent drug offenses. He knows what he's talking about. He chose 4/20 as his date to announce and already has the weed picked out to smoke if he wins. It's called "Presidential Kush."
2. Extremely decisive foreign policy.
He didn't even say hello when he picked up his phone, but instead said: "I don't give a damn if we go to war. F**k you b****es!" That's who I'd want getting the proverbial '3 AM phone call.'
3. Legalize it.
Again, pretty clear that it's the number one item on his agenda, and Godspeed, I say. He even told kids not to use it if schoolwork is too hard, so maybe you should be an adult and see why legalization is a good idea that won't hurt anyone ever.
4. No more dogs in restaurants.
I'm not sure if an executive order can actually make this happen, but it is annoying. Leave your dog at your house and bring him some leftovers. Jeez.
5. Something called "Reality Skills."
Every day a new piece of technology threatens students' abilities to learn and remain focused at school. I'm guessing I'm too old and out of touch to know why someone would need to be taught what reality is, but kids definitely need that skill. They need to be told how to acknowledge reality and know the difference between what's real and what's merely an electronic projection, especially since The Singularity is right around the corner.
6. 15 dollar/hour minimum wage for all fast food employees.
You must be a money-grubbing member of the 1% if you don't want to help the people who serve you fries. Don't be on the wrong side of History: vote this man into the Oval Office!
7. Legalize it.
He ended the video by calling his pick for Vice President who said that it was guaranteed: "There's gonna be unlimited weed smoking." I don't think he's going to let us down.
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The lazy math genius.
Expert lazy boyfriends perfect their techniques from a young age.
Wait, date night doesn't mean sitting on the couch?
Santa has it pretty easy.
Just reading this sign sends my OCD into overdrive.
