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Admin Pros Day
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Earth Day
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Admin Pros Day
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Earth Day
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Earth Day
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12 of the best things ever caught by the Jumbotron.
1.
"FIGHT HARDER, YOU MONSTERS!" (via Distractify)
There's something strange that happens at large sporting events — although we are surrounded by thousands of other people, we feel like we are alone... until the eye of the Jumbotron is turned on us. Then it's revealed to everyone that we're either disgusting, horrible people or really good dancers. Those are pretty much the only two options, as these pictures and videos show.
2.
This kid has more dance moves at age 10 than I have at age 31.
3.
At least he didn't eat it. Nobody would eat a booger on the Jumbotron. (via Reddit)
4.
Oh. Oh, no. (via Imgur)
5.
Unfortunately, her son does not share her enthusiasm.
6.
Fan-shaming is a great way to get people in a festive mood. (via Reddit)
7.
You might laugh at him, but remember: Deep down, we are all truly alone. (via Epic Fail)
8.
If he gets this excited to be on the Jumbotron, I'm scared about what he would do if he ever got on TV?
9.
Like, your real sister? Or the Meg White to your Jack White? (via Imgur)
10.
Inside the beak, it smelled like whiskey and broken dreams. (via Imgur)
11.
Jump ahead to :45 if you just want to see a drink dumped on a guy, or watch the whole thing if you want to see him acting like a dick who deserves to get a drink dumped on him.
12.
At least they didn't use the c-word. (via Mandatory)
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This lucky girl got to roll around on the ground with a very snuggly baby horse.
A baby horse cuddle-attacked this lady and made me wonder: What are we all doing with our lives?
This girl is living the dream. When she yells, "This is the best day of my life!" you know it's true.
Horses are so huggable, with their long sweet faces and gentle nuzzling for carrots. Yes, they could stomp your head in, but not in this world. In this world adorable foals want to be hugged all day, the air smells like apple blossoms and no one ever grows up. Because if that horse grows up and tries to pull this level of cuddling, it would tenderize the organs of its human.
Shout-out to Mama Horse, checking in on baby horse and girl. You are also cute, but cannot be hugged like a dog, so stand aside.
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A bikini-wearing grandmother was arrested for drunk driving with her grandson in the car.
49-year-old Patricia Ebel was arrested for DUI on the way back from the pool with her 10-year-old grandson.
This is one of those "only in Florida" stories. Of course, sometimes those stories happen in places besides Florida. But if you ask me, anywhere a sexy grandmother in a bikini is doing a field sobriety test while her grandson watches, there's a little Florida in the air.
49-year-old Patricia Ebel refused when cops asked to perform a breathalyzer test, but they were already pretty sure she was drunk. She reeked of booze and couldn't balance on one leg (although she told them she couldn't do that "on a good day"). What's more, she had just rear-ended a parked car in her BMW. And considering her 10-year-old grandson was in the car, they weren't going to let her drive home. A test would later reveal her to be blood alcohol content to be twice the legal limit.
Thankfully, the boy was unhurt, although the other driver had to go to the hospital with minor injuries. Ebel is out on bail, but faces DUI charges with a minor in the car. Pretty soon, she might be trading in her rainbow bikini for a prison-issue orange one. She'll probably still look good, though.
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This "Japanese Harry Potter" is traveling the world on a broomstick.
Halno is an Instagram user and artist whose project is taking pictures of himself "flying on a broom" around the world.
Levitation boy
A photo posted by @halno on
The entire description on Halno's Instagram account is, "I would like to travel all over the world with my broom." Simple and to the point. Rocket News 24 had a slightly more in-depth explanation, saying that Halno had been using his account to post photos of his artwork when he spontaneously threw up a snap shot of himself jumping next to a car, appearing to levitate on a broomstick. The image was featured on Webstagram as the "Photo of the Day" in 2011, and he started getting huge numbers of followers who loved the idea.
Now he pretty much just posts photos of himself jumping up in the air with Old Broomie, creating the optical illusion of flying through beautiful landscapes. The project has gotten him the nickname, "The Japanese Harry Potter," which would be more apt if he had some sort of nemesis. But people love this guy!
Check it out:
Very Dr. Suess:
In all kinds of weather:
Nice cape:
When in Rome (?):
Halno is still flying and you can follow his adventures, but I think the lesson of these photos is that magical moments can be found in even the simplest things. Like jumping up in the air with a broom.
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Lindsay Lohan accidentally told everyone in the Arabic-speaking world "You're an ass."
The actress posted an Arabic message on Instagram that was supposed to read "You're beautiful."
This post has been deleted, but not from our hearts.(via Instagram)
I was OK with Lindsay Lohan when she was just drunk driving, outing her lovers, and Photoshopping her own butt, but trying to be nice to people in a foreign language? That's too far.
Lohan posted this image on her Instagram, but failed to double-check her translation. The Arabic text that was meant to read "You're beautiful" actually translates to "You're a donkey." Oops!
Thanks for noticing!(stock photo)
Lohan has since deleted the post. I doubt this bothers her too much; it's probably the least harmful mistake she's ever made. It's certainly no I Know Who Killed Me.
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Article 30
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Amy Schumer dives in front of Kim and Kanye on red carpet in an unsuccessful attempt to get more attention than them.
She tried, but there's no killing the beast that is Kimye.
Playing dead in front of people who are dead inside.
(photo via Getty)
Amy Schumer is fighting the good fight. She's funny, she's honest, and she knows when to take the opportunity to draw attention away from Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. At the Time 100 Gala, an event honoring the most influential people in the world according to a no-longer-influential news magazine, Amy Schumer photobombed the couple by diving in front of them.
It's just too bad that even one of our most beloved comedians can't steal any of the limelight from the couple. Even when she literally gets in front of them.
Amy, please keep trying.
The look on Amy's face is like that of a time traveler who's failed once again to change the course of History. (photo via Getty)
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This dad has a simple trick for getting his newborn baby to fall asleep using 'Star Wars.'
Buddy Crotty found that a certain sound familiar to 'Star Wars' fans has a soothing effect on baby Madison.
That kid is a future Sith if I've ever seen one. It's like Yoda said: "Crying leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to poopoo diapies." I paraphrased that, but you get the idea. This youngling is evil.
I've heard that babies like white noise because it reminds them of being in the womb. Maybe it's the same effect here. In fact, maybe a mother's breathing sounds like Darth Vader to every fetus. That's terrifying.
By the way, big thumbs up for fat corgi.
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Article 27
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After 16 years apart, these long-lost siblings accidentally reconnected on Tinder.
Flirting with a sibling doesn't even break the Top 100 grossest things happening on Tinder right now.
If you love your sister so much, why don't you marry her? Haha- OH. WOW.
(photo via Thinkstock)
Josephine Egberts and Erik de Vries were separated in 1999 when their parents split up. One went to Belgium with Dad, one went with Mom to The Netherlands. They had given up searching for each other years ago.
Then came Tinder. Erik, at the age of 24, moved to The Netherlands for school, and in his off time started swiping right on hot girls in his area. He started flirting with a particular match he thought was cute, and the more they talked about their past with each other, the more it became apparent: they were brother and sister.
"The first time I swiped her profile I had absolutely no idea," de Vries told Mic. “To be honest, it hasn't been on my mind in the past few years after Maarten, my brother, and I finished a failed search for Josephine a few years ago."
They finally met up a week later and confirmed it.
Josephine reacted emotionally: "When I saw him, it was suddenly very clear…It was so special to see my own blood brother again after 16 years."
Thank God they talked a little before jumping to the usual end to a Tinder date. This story would be way less uplifting.
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A woman is suing Mila Kunis to get media attention, and I wrote this article so it's working.
A Ukrainian woman is claiming Mila Kunis stole her pet chicken when they were childhood friends in Ukraine.
Two portraits of great poise and stability. (via Getty/YouTube)
Kristina Karo is an aspiring musician who is most likely suing Mila Kunis to get attention. Her plan is totally working because here you are, reading this article about a crazy celebrity lawsuit. Am I part of the problem? Are you? Either way, this story is weird and I love it.
Karo claims Kunis stole her pet chicken when they were childhood friends in Ukraine. Now that Karo has moved to LA, where Kunis also lives, the painful memories of her long lost chicken are causing her great distress, so she is seeking $5,000 in mental-health related damages.
The lawsuit probably won't stick, since Kunis is from Chernivtsi and Karo is from Berezhnytsia, which are nowhere near each other. However, we've already established the lawsuit is probably a farce anyway.
If you want to play right into Kristina Karo's ploy for fame, watch her video below. Sigh.
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Article 24
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A girl with unexplained paralysis surprised her favorite nurse with her recovery.
This video shows a young girl sharing the wonderful news that she's been healed.
According to YouTube user Rumurril, the girl in the wheelchair was suffering from unexplained paralysis, then she just as mysteriously regained her ability to walk. Pretty scary to know that "unexplained paralysis" is a thing! Rumurrill wrote:
Our daughter, Bailey, had complete paralysis from the waist down for 11 days with no explanation as to why. This video is of one of her favorite nurses coming onto her shift and not knowing that Bailey had started walking this day.
It's a very moving scene, as the nurse, who has presumably only known Bailey 11 days, screams then starts crying and thanking God for the young lady's recovery. Nurses aren't always treated with the greatest respect and they do so much of the grunt work in hospitals, interacting more intimately with patients than doctors get a chance to. Thank you, ma'am, for your loving support of a scared teenage girl.
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 22, 2015
1. Sandra Bullock Begins Her One Year Reign As 'World's Most Beautiful Woman'
People Magazine announced today that it has chosen actress Sandra Bullock to serve humanity as its most attractive female specimen for one year. She takes over for actress Lupita Nyong'o, who received the same honor last year but has now been relegated to un-noteworthy banality along with the rest of us.
Sandra Bullock is PEOPLE's #MostBeautiful Woman! http://t.co/gzEPFX9apipic.twitter.com/8GxIaLOAl4
— People magazine (@people) April 22, 2015
Sandra Bullock is the most beautiful woman in the world, because you know what's truly beautiful? Driving a bus. She drove a bus.
— Brian Boone (@brianadamsboone) April 22, 2015
2. Ben Affleck Admits Embarrassment Over His Ancestors Owning Other People's Ancestors
Actor/director Ben Affleck has apologized for asking PBS to hide the fact that his ancestors were slave-owners on the show, Finding Your Roots. "I regret my initial thoughts that the issue of slavery not be included in the story. We deserve neither credit nor blame for our ancestors," he wrote on Facebook yesterday. "While I don't like that the guy is an ancestor, I am happy that aspect of our country's history is being talked about." Luckily for him, he is still blissfully unaware of the countless stream of murderers, rapists and moral reprobates that make up the vast lineage of our shared human ancestry.
So Ben Affleck tried to hide that he had a slave-owning ancestor? Yeah, that's called shame. Good for him. This is not a scandal.
— Gladstone (@WGladstone) April 20, 2015
3. Dr. Oz Promises To Continue Slinging Lucrative Bullshit In The Face Of All Evidence And Reason
Dr. Oz is promising his television audience that he will not give up the hugely successful money-making scheme that has made him a national celebrity in the wake of ten doctors signing a petition for Columbia University to fire him. "I vow to you right here and right now," he told the cameras, "we will not be silenced, we will not give in." Brave, brave words for an rich, rich man.
Dr. Oz gives medical advice. pic.twitter.com/PTGaJXUo6N
— Neal Pollack (@nealpollack) April 18, 2015
4. NSA Unleashes Horrifying Anthropomorphic Recycling Bin Golem Upon The World
The National Security Agency has just unveiled Dunk, the bright blue, muscular human/plastic bin hybrid that will be serving as its recycling mascot. When it's not encouraging students to toss their spent water bottles into specifically marked recycling receptacles, he will presumably be sent off to break legs and gather information for the federal agency. Beware of Dunk; he feels neither pain nor remorse.
Hey kids it's me Dunk, your NSA pal! Wanna target political dissidents for psychological warfare? pic.twitter.com/5OriQCtrIA
— James Adomian (@JAdomian) April 21, 2015
5. Kraft Caves To Pressure From Internet Moron To Make Its Mac & Cheese Resemble Food
Kraft has announced that it will be discontinuing the use of the food dye that has been giving its macaroni and cheese its distinctive terrifyingly bright orange hue for the past eight decades, which would seem to be a good thing. However, the recipe change seems to be due in part to the efforts of Vani "The Food Babe" Hari, a blogger with no understanding of science, but an immense understanding of self-publicity, which seems to be a bad thing. Honestly, I don't care, just so long as I can continue jamming shovelfuls of the stuff into my face for dinner every time my wife is out of town.
Kraft Dinner to remove synthetic orange colour from new mac & cheese recipe. If you miss the old recipe just add a cup of grated basketball.
— 22Minutes (@22_Minutes) April 20, 2015
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The only thing cuter than this 7-year-old's letter to George Lucas is the letter he got back.
An aspiring Jedi named Colin wrote this letter to George Lucas, addressing his greatest concern.
He signed it "Love!" If anyone deserves to be happily married, it's this kid.(via GeekDad)
Just this morning, I wrote about a baby who was clearly already falling to the dark side. Now, here's a kid who's more light side than Obi-Wan himself. Seven-year-old Colin dreams of becoming a Jedi Knight when he's older, but there's a problem. He's no dummy, and he knows that according to the rules of the Jedi Order, Knights are not allowed to marry, because it's an attachment to the physical world and puts them at risk of falling to the dark side. He doesn't want to fall and become a Sith, but he also knows he wants to get married (born romantic).
To get answers, Colin went right to the source himself: George Lucas. He wrote this letter, addressed to Lucas at Lucasfilm:
Dear George Lucas,
I don't like that a Jedi cannot get married. I want to get married without becoming a Sith. Please change the rule.
P.S. I want to come to Skywalker Ranch please.
Love Colin
Of course, no one told Colin that Lucas is retired. Still, the good people at Lucasfilm didn't want to let him down, so they sent him a package containing free comic books, as well as a written response.
Colin's parents made this adorable video of him opening it:
And here's the letter:
With this blessing, he'll have no problem finding a wife.(via GeekDad)
Hello Colin,
Thank you so much for writing to us with your question. It sounds like the Force is strong with you, and you are showing great wisdom by asking your question. To be a Jedi is to truly know the value of friendship, of compassion, and of loyalty, and these are values important in a marriage. The Sith think inward, only of themselves. When you find someone that you can connect to in a selfless way, then you are on the path of the light, and the dark side will not take hold of you. With this goodness in your heart, you can be married.
We enclosed a few gifts that we hope you enjoy. Thank you again for writing to us.
May the Force Be With You!
Sincerely,
Your Friends at Lucasfilm
I just know that someday Colin will find another Jedi as strong and as pure of spirit as himself, and they'll have a great marriage. Then their child will bring balance to the Force. I have foreseen it.
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