The best cross section of food and children on Instagram is My Kid Can't Eat This, documenting kids being total divas about what they eat.

#MyKidCantEatThis because there aren't chocolate chips on his plate of chocolate chip pancakes.
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 15, 2015 at 8:52am PDT

According to research I conducted inside my brain right now, kids and food are both very popular on Instagram. Someone combined these two ideas and has racked up nearly 13K followers on Instagram in one week. I wish people were as picky about what they posted online as kids are about what they'll eat.

Scroll down for some highlights of kids being little weirdo foodies.

My kid can't eat this because there are no spoons that speak to him today and he doesn't want to use his hands. #MyKidCantEatThis
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 8:58am PDT

My kid can't eat this because I opened it half an inch. Sorry. #MyKidCantEatThis
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 9:05am PDT

"#mykidcanteatthis bagel, but add a few sprinkles and a doughnut appears! Magic." -Ashley Marcy
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 3:09pm PDT

#MyKidCantEatThis because it has fork holes in it. He keeps saying it's sad while the new one I gave him is happy. -Micki Felix
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 20, 2015 at 2:40pm PDT

#MyKidCantEatThis because mommy peeled it and he wanted it peeled by daddy. -Jenn Mace
A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 16, 2015 at 6:40pm PDT

Do you remember having bizarre food requirements as a child? What were they? I'm genuinely interested! Post them in the comments section. Apparently there was a year of my life when the only thing I ate for dinner were cheese-filled hotdogs (BARF) and I'd turn into a real sobbing jerk-face if I was fed anything else.

The music is pretty good, but feel free to mute it and play 'Yakity Sax' (provided below) if you want.

Harkening back to the best of Sylvester the Cat and Tweety Bird, this misadventure between a large grey cat in what appears to be Russia (from the YouTube title) is slapstick comedy as its height, perfected over millions of years of evolution. The audience is even represented in this work of art in the form of the eagerly watching housecat in the window. The song, if you're not familiar, is Trololo, one of the greatest Internet classics of the 2000s:

Although this one works for the video too:

Today, the Internet had all of the animal feels.

First: 3-year-old Sapphyre Johnson and her new puppy, Lt. Dan. Sapphyre had her toes amputated when she was one, while 9-month-old white German shepherd Lt. Dan was born without a paw. Lt. Dan's breeder, Karen Riddle, wanted Lt. Dan to work as a therapy dog with a child or wounded veteran, and Sapphyre was the perfect fit. According to USA Today, when Elaine Hardin, a child life specialist at Shriner's Hospital, showed Sapphyre a picture of the dog, she said, "That's my puppy. He's just like me."

Second: YouTube user Joyce Waggoner shared this video of her cat, who she adopted "years ago when she already had three legs." Even though the leg is long-gone, this video shows the cat trying to play using the phantom limb.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment in my calendar to go cry some tears and say, "Aw!" a lot.

It's time to drop the beat, CRABS.

Before today, if you asked me, "Hey, Meg, what do you do to get FUCKING PUMPED?" I'd probably be like, "I dunno... drink some caffeine? Listen to some tunes?" But now I have a new answer: Watch this pile of dubsteb-soundtracked spider crabs rage like they're in a warehouse in 1996.

The video was shot by inspiring scuba diver PT Hirschfield, a wildlife photographer in Melbourne, Australia. PT has terminal endometrial cancer, but she still dives regularly. You should check out her whole post on the spider crab migration; she has some other pretty incredible videos of them scuttling across the ocean floor en masse.

Also, if you want to see more crabs raging, you should check out this hermit crab rave:

When a girl calls your carphone thinking you're Burger King, Ben Affleck knows the correct response is "Yes, I am" and not "Who the fuck calls Burger King to place an order?"

In 1989, Ben Affleck starred in a Burger King commercial. That's all fine and good; several now-famous actors have started in commercials. But there are a whole bunch of things about this particular commercial that we need to discuss:

1. The woman's voice when she calls Ben's car phone, thinking it's Burger King.
   Why is she so sex-breathy? Is she turned on by salad? Does she think that "chef salad" is a euphemism for "large dong"?
2. Why is Ben Affleck willing to deliver this salad?
   Is he so desperately lonely that he'll pick up food for any wrong-number caller with a lady voice?
3. Is there any chance that Ben maybe put a bag of dogshit on her stoop, not Burger King?
   Because that would be pretty great.
   
4. Is Ben's dad calling to tell Ben that he has cancer?
   I know the implication is supposed to be that young Benward is breaking the rules, so dad's calling to check in. But Ben's "Dad?" is said with the same breathless urgency you'd use when someone is calling you with test results.
5. What rules is Burger King itself breaking?
   Burger King, I agree that the slogan "Sometimes you've gotta break the rules" sounds cool. But what does that mean? What rules did you ever break? Were they food safety rules? Was Burger King using a commercial to subtly tell us that in 1989, Burger King's employees were spitting on every burger?

Also, the conspiracy theorist in me is all like "Why is this video being re-released into the world now? Is Ben Affleck's publicist trying to distract from the fact that Ben tried to hide his slave-owning ancestor?" What do you have to say about that, The Lone Gunmen?*

* Sorry, Lone Gunmen. I forgot you were dead. :(

Stingrays are so 2012.

A photo posted by Diuvs De Jesus (@jojo_powerranger) on Apr 19, 2015 at 8:10pm PDT

Diuvs de Jesus, "adventurer" and Instagrammer, was trying to take a group photo with members of the Marine Wildlife Watch of the Philippines when suddenly, they were photobombed by an adorable member of the grateful Marine Wildlife community.

Could Diuvs have simply taken advantage of a passing sea turtle and asked him to stay? Possibly, but let's not ruin our image of this spontaneous moment with the harsh reality of friendly talking sea turtles.

1. As an iPhone case.

This little guy is leveling up on usefulness. (via 9ViralNews)

Cats. Are they single use, or what? Think again! Your cat isn't just a lazy pile of hairballs and furniture-scratching claws. It's a pile of possibilities. Here are ten ways to integrate your cat into your life as a helpful dynamic member of the household. Finally.

2. As a part of your workout routine

3. As a doll for your dollhouse.

My dream house always has a cat in it. (via Imgur)

4. As a pillow.

5. As a nurse. Aw.

For more on the cutest story you've ever read click here.

6. As a make-over subject.

7. As a babysitter.

8. As deodorant.

Nothing's getting through this level of protection.(via Imgur)

9. As a musical guest.

10. As a dog.

Because, let's face it, if you want to make a cat do stuff, you don't want a cat anymore. You want a dog. Good luck.

8-year-old Sarah Auger of St-Jean-sur-Richelieu, QC was forbidden from reading on the school bus.

The heels on the bus go "no no no."(stock photo)

It's bad enough when schools clamp down on the creativity of their students. When it starts happening on the way to school, then it starts feeling like something out of 1984. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened recently in southern Quebec, Canada.

Sarah Auger is an 8-year-old girl who loves reading, and often used to spend her 20-minute ride on the school bus with a book in her hands. Her bus driver, however, told her she had to stop. He said her reading posed a risk to the other students on the bus.

A risk of what? New ideas?! You don't own these kids, bus driver man!

He claimed that the other students might stand up to see what she's reading, putting them in danger. Also, she could poke her eye with the corner of the book. He didn't even mention paper cuts, which just goes to show how little thought he put into this.

Educated or institutionalized?(stock photo)

Her father Daniel Abel, meanwhile, wants to nurture her love of reading, and is none too pleased with this driver. He told the CBC he wants this rule to change, saying, "I find it stupid and useless." There's that famous French Canadian tact for you. He took his complaints to the school board, who were no help. They said that whoever drives the bus is allowed to make the rules. However, they conceded that reading obviously wasn't dangerous.

The school board's statement added that students are required to keep all belongings, including books, in their bags while they're on the bus. What are they supposed to do, just sit with their arms folded? Is this a school system or a gulag? Break the chains off these children's hearts, St-Jean-sur-Richelieu, and set their imaginations free. Free them, and free yourselves.

During their press tour Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner called Black Widow a slut as a joke, ha ha.

Whyyyyyyy? I liked you guys so much. It's clear from your tone that you think it's a funny joke to call Black Widow, the only female protagonist in The Avengers franchise, a slut, a whore and a trick, but it is actually really abrasive and off-putting.

This is the kind of "joke" that shows how deep-rooted and scary misogyny can be. Even the men we love, and admire, can surprise us with something ugly. These guys don't really see Black Widow as some big slut because she ends up with Bruce Banner in this iteration of the film's love drama. But that's the first thing they went to as an off-the-cuff answer to a simple question. Super bummer.

Lots of fans are unhappy about it too:

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I used to like you two assholes.#ChrisEvans#JeremyRennerhttp://t.co/Sgc3orMoJE

— Julie (@julietaube) April 23, 2015

Seeing Chris Evans/Captain America and Jeremy Renner/Hawkeye/Clint referring to Black Widow as a trick/slut/whore. UNBELIEVABLE.

— VixenVarsity.com (@MizCaramelVixen) April 23, 2015

I'm actually really fucking appalled and disappointed with jeremy renner and chris evans in that interview with the ableism and slut-shaming

— evan | 146 (@halseyadeux) April 23, 2015

2 men calling a woman a slut and whore is sexist. Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans made a sexist joke. Intent does not erase impact!

— Jeanne (@fangirlJeanne) April 23, 2015

Considering how few female superheroes are being given mainstream movie vehicles, we need our men in capes to step it up with their awareness, respect and support. You want Black Widow to have your back, you better have hers.

The inescapable truth of human nature is that we are all at our absolute worst while parallel parking.

No relationship, no matter how loving, is safe from the hellish monsters all humans morph into while trying to slip their cars into a curbside spot. That's why I've prepared this basic, turn-by-turn guide for the harsh reality of parallel parking with your significant other.

1. Selecting the parking spot.

Choosing the spot is a vital step because it sets the tone for the type of fight you are about to have—and you are about to have a fight. It can be tempting to select your own space but it's important to go for the one your boyfriend just indicated by helpfully screaming “there's a spot!!" fifty feet too late. Even if you have your eyes on a space up ahead that would fit like a glove, go around the block and take the spot he found. Using his selection will give you an upper hand in the fight you don't realize has already begun.

2. The reverse.

A good reverse can allow you to parallel park in two smooth moves. You know that's a fact because you do it every single time you are in the car alone. Unfortunately, now that your boyfriend is in the car, the laws of physics have changed and you are no longer able to correctly gauge the length of your car, the location of the curb, or the limits of your patience.

3. The re-reverse.

You will have to pull out and back in again to get the angle right. This is the first time your boyfriend will say, “do you want me to do it?" Don't be fooled. This is not an offer of kindness from a man who loves you but centuries of patriarchy implying your silly female mind is incapable of maneuvering an automobile. Resist the urge to behave like a rational adult.

4. The guide.

At some point in the parallel parking process, your boyfriend will exit the car to guide you in because what was missing from this already tense situation was literal yelling. His commands of “keep going… keep going… STOP!" will result in a bumper tap to the car behind you because the man you cuddle with to watch Jeopardy has now been replaced by a spatially challenged beast.

5. Cut the wheel.

No one in the history of parking has ever understood this instruction. Your guide in this nightmare journey will tell you that the problem is not his instructions but the fact that you aren't listening correctly. Don't worry, he doesn't mean it. He's only saying this because you are both now lone wanderers in a world devoid of emotion and full of endless parking.

6. The back and forth.

Just like all relationships, there comes a point in parallel parking where it is actually harder to get out than it was to get in. You are stuck with the decision you made on every level. Just take a deep breathe and keep inching towards the inevitable.

7. You've got room.

You don't have room. Why would he say you have room when you so clearly don't have room?!

8. The switch.

This is a crucial moment in the parallel parking fight. Your boyfriend will offer to finish parking for you because he thinks he's better than you, doesn't he? That's definitely the reason! Let him take the wheel and experience your struggle. After a few turns he will hand the wheel back over to you and, because neither of you have a grasp on logic anymore, decide to take to his grave the fact that you were right and this is hard.

9. The home stretch.

With the windows rolled up and your boyfriend safely ten feet from the car, you can simulate the experience of being alone and park with ease. During this time apart you both take stock of your abominable behavior and make the healthy decision to never speak of this fight again.

10. The park is complete.

Congratulations. On your silent walk away from your now parked car you will pass at least five wide-open spots.

(images via Thinkstock)

These tigers quadruplets were born on January 25 and already work like a team.

This video comes to us from the Tobu Zoo, on the outskirts of Tokyo in Japan. It documents the first time the four three-month-old tiger brothers were let into their glass enclosure. Excitedly exploring the space, one of the cubs accidentally fell into their play pool. Since none of them had ever experienced water before, it could have been disastrous – but luckily, his brothers noticed and came together to pull him out. Because tigers stick together.

The cubs don't have names yet. The zoo will be accepting suggestions for names starting in May. Considering their excellent teamwork and their bond of brotherly love, I have an idea: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael. Right? That'd be awesome.

This woman was relieved when doctors discovered an embryonic twin in her brain, because that's better than a tumor.

Indiana Ph.D. student Yamini Karanam, 26, started to get concerned recently when she suddenly found it harder to focus while reading and couldn't understand what other people were saying.

She visited a neurologist, but didn't get a clear answer on what was wrong until Dr. Hrayr Shahinian of the Skullbase Institute in Los Angeles used a special keyhole surgery to look inside her brain and see the tumor.

Only it wasn't a tumor. It was her twin. Or what Karanam jokingly told NBC Los Angeles was her "evil twin sister who's been torturing me for the past 26 years."

What Dr. Shahinian found was an embryonic twin who had been in utero with Yamini but failed to develop. The twin even had teeth and hair—cool/gross! Shahinian says this is only the second one of these he's ever seen in a brain after doing almost 8,000 surgeries.

Luckily, it's not cancerous, and Karanam is expected to make a full recovery in just three weeks. And now we all know that "twin" ranks above "tumor" in the list of things you want to find in your brain.

It could have been weird when this girl asked the first lady her age, but it ended up making both of their days.

This is the kind of thing that has made people fall in love with Michelle Obama. She turns every moment that could be uncomfortable into viral magic. Can you imagine Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton being asked that question when they were the first lady? Bush would have just frozen, and Clinton would have added that girl's named to her List.

He's playing Lumiere because he's on fire.

Disney can be my guest making more movies like this.
(images via Getty)

Hermione is Belle, Matthew from Downton as the Beast, and now that guy from the famous heroin movie is playing a candlelabra! I couldn't be more excited for the 2017 release of Disney's live action Beauty and The Beast!

At first I heard Emma Watson was in and it was like discovering a tiny, beautiful bird:

(via Giphy)

Then when I saw the rest of the cast I could barely figure out who to write about first:

(via Giphy)

But now we all have to wait... And waiting is the hardest part.

(via Giphy)

People will love this movie as long as it's slightly more interesting than the Disney on Ice version:

Fine, kid, go be a duck. As long as you're willing to work for it.

Kids these days insist everything be handed to him. Take Isaac Adni, a British kid and self-proclaimed "one-man band with his computer." He wants to be a duck. Does he sing about going to duck school at night? Taking Berlitz quacking courses? Working as an assistant to successful mallards? No, he just talks about gobbling bread and hoping that when he wakes up, he'll be a duck. Kafka ruined the youth of the future. There was a time when you had to earn being transmogrified into a lower life form, but millennials just think they can ask for it and start taking selfies the next day as a new animal.

But anyway, who am I to stand in his way. Let the lazy little bastard be a duck. IF HE CAN EARN IT.

1.

I feel like those shapes could be a little stranger. (via reddit)

When you buy something online—whether it's a pizza or a hotel room or anything else—remember that the "special instructions" box is not your personal playground. It's the personal playground of these people (and the good-natured employees who carried out their bizarre requests).

2.

In that order? (via reddit)

3.

Be careful, there's a mint under your feet. (via reddit)

4.

DO NOT WHAT???(via reddit)

5.

Pizza delivery guys know there are jokes about things other than pizza right? (via reddit)

6.

It's not totally clear if Satan is the girlfriend or the baby. Congrats either way!(via reddit)

7.

"Enjoy your nightmares."(via reddit)

8.

Who doesn't?(via reddit)

9.

The only one of these I would refuse to do.(via reddit)

10.

One of the occupational hazards of delivering pizza slightly after 4:20.(via reddit)

11.

That's a pretty impressive drawing, for what should be a disgruntled employee. (via reddit)

12.

You know it's a classy hotel when they frame your picture of bacon.(via reddit)

13.

And maybe a loaded gun.(via reddit)

14.

This man deserves a statue. And a parade. And a national holiday.(via reddit)

15.

Whoever drew this really out-weirded the customer.(via reddit)

16.

Evidently, this happens a lot.(via reddit)