Expressing regret for the fallen bull over the fallen man, Miguel Ruiz Perez, didn't go over well and set off a series of tweets in defense of his position:
This has now culminated in a 5-minute video of Gervais in his office explaining in detail the bull's psychology in its last moments on earth, fighting for its life.
My face live on Facebook live
Posted by Ricky Gervais on Saturday, August 15, 2015
Pretty convincing! But probably not very comforting to Perez's family at this time.
Autocorrect is both a nuisance and a necessity in our texting-based society. It can result in some Freudian slips, accidental mixups of "pubic" and "public," and some pretty awesome birthday cakes.
To celebrate Laura Seggie's 21st birthday, her family wanted to do something special and make a custom cake. When her mom texted her request for the special confection, autocorrect changed what was meant to be "wee blonde girl" into "wee blind girl." (Hehe. "Wee.")
Maybe Moira should have asked?(via Emily Seggie/Mashable)
Moira followed up on the request, assuming that Ms. Seggie indeed meant blind. She crafted an adorable cake topper of a blind girl (who unfortunately happens to be brunette).
As long as the flavor and taste of the cake is as the Seggies' mum intended, then this is a cute mistake that turned the regular party into a surprise party.
The Seattle kid's rapport with the winged creatures was simple: She would feed them, and they, in turn, would bring her gifts, such as these little trinkets:
Her story (told in a robot voice, for some reason) was picked up by a bunch of news outlets, until she gradually faded away from the spotlight. She's recently re-appeared, however, for far less touching reasons: Her neighbors are suing her.
Actually, they're suing her family, since she's only 8, but still, they're basically suing her. The allegations? "Your damn crows are getting in my yard!!!"
The lawsuit alleges that Gary Mann, an oncologist, and Lisa Mann ignored peaceful requests from neighbors to stop their child from feeding crows.
According to the suit:
“These animals and their noise, filth and fecal matter are injurious to health or indecent or offensive to the senses, or an obstruction to the free use of property, so as to essentially interfere with the comfortable enjoyment of the life and property.”
They're suing for $200,000, so those most crows must've really messed shit up. Those neighbors better watch out, though: For when one messes with the black omens of doom, bad fortune shall fall upon their house. Muahahahahahha.
It worked! The crazy days of Britney Spears are merely the wisp of a memory, fading into the distance.
Always match your hair to the red carpet sponsors.(via Twitter)
She's like a mermaid who magically grew legs! Good thing, because she'll need legs to surf on her colorful Teen Choice Award surfboard. Britney Spears won the Candie's Style Award, and accepted the honor by taking the stage in 1/3 of a wedding dress (the sexy 1/3).
He's previously discussed on CNN how he was focusing on healing and planning on returning to comedy as soon as he could:
We are so glad that he is better, and can't wait to have him back. To celebrate his upcoming return, here are his best moments 30 Rock that get you even more excited to see Tracy Morgan/Jordan again.
1. When he put life into perspective:
2. When he backed it up:
3. When he came up with the best app:
4. When he had this brilliant advice:
5. When he made this party hit:
6. When he took a nap so long we were forced to call it "epic":
7. When he and Jenna were The Problem Solvers:
8. When he played his ancestor Thomas Jefferson:
9. When he was a Jedi:
10. When he had the best alternative to saying "I told you so":
She also might consider pitching a sexy reboot of 'The Nanny.'
She's achieved every little girl's dream of glamming for the paparazzi. (via ET)
Christine Ouzounian was formerly Ben Affleck's nanny, and is currently at the center of a lot of questions. Did she have a relationship with Ben Affleck? Is he paying for her to hide out at Hotel Bel-Air? How'd she get this convertible Lexus? Is her embrace of the spotlight at the expense of a man who blew up her private life subversive? Will she accept my follow request on Instagram?
A source told Page Six that Ouzounian is using all the drama as an opportunity:
"The word in LA is that Christine is looking for an agent and wants a TV deal, on something like ‘The Bachelorette’ or ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ She knows she most likely can’t go back to nannying — who in LA would hire her now to take care of their kids? So she’s going to use the spotlight to build a showbiz career."
Or she could do an updated Marry Poppins. Or a reality show about celebrity nannies, like Real Nannies of Pacific Palisades. Maybe I should be her agent.
5. The cast and crew of the 'Baywatch' reboot, because Pamela Anderson says it's going to suck.
Throwing more shade than a beach umbrella. (via YouTube)
Did you know Baywatch was being rebooted? If not, are you surprised? You shouldn't be – it's a show from the 90s. They're all being rebooted these days in compliance with the Mandatory Nostalgia Act.
The new Baywatch, which is headed to the big screen, is getting a lot of hype because of the stars who are already attached: Zac Efron and Dwayne "The Sand" Johnson. But one tastemaker isn't convinced, and she just happens to be the two biggest stars of the original series.
TMZ reports that Pamela Anderson thinks the reboot is a big mistake, saying, "No one appreciates the remakes." Although she still loves the original series, she thinks its success comes from the fact that the 90s were a "simpler, sweeter time" for TV, when half-naked men and women could run in slow motion for 45 minutes and it was considered a drama. She doesn't believe the premise could work on the big screen in 2015.
Could it be she's just jealous that she wasn't offered a part? Or that she's bitter no one wants to reboot Barb Wire? It's definitely the second one.
4. A Spanish woman who was fined for shaming the police on Facebook.
If she'd left a note, she'd be in jail right now. (Facebook via CNET)
Despite all the controversy surrounding the police in the US right now, they're still pretty harmless on social media. The worst they'll do is burn you. That's not the case in Spain, where a controversial new "gag law" subjects protesters to steep fines. And as it turns out, that can even apply to Facebook protests, the most ineffective form of activism in the world.
According to the Guardian, a woman from the town of Petrer in Spain was driving around when she noticed a police car parked in the handicapped spot. Irked by what she perceived as an abuse of authority, she photographed it and posted it to a Facebook page called "You're not from Petrer if…" She included the caption, "Park where you bloody well please and you won't even be fined." (She didn't actually write "bloody," but it's an English newspaper's translation from Spanish. Try to keep up.)
The important thing is that local police managed to track her down within 48 hours of the posting. In Petrer's first implementation of the Citizens Security Law, she was fined €800 (about $886). Petrer police spokesman Fernando Portillo explained that police had parked in the spot to deal with a report of a nearby case of vandalism. They felt justified in fining the woman because she had "impugned their honor."
Well done, Petrer police. You look super honorable now.
3. Miley Cyrus, because playing Hannah Montana gave her body image issues.
Who would've thought?(Getty)
If you thought Miley Cyrus was the most confident person on the planet, we can't blame you. But it turns out that wall of impenetrable Mileyness is actually masking a core of deep-seated insecurity. And that insecurity stems from the very thing that made Miley famous: being Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter playing Hannah Montana.
In a new interview with Marie Claire, Miley explained that acting on that show from such a young age messed with her brain:
"From the time I was 11, it was, 'You're a pop star! That means you have to be blonde, and you have to have long hair, and you have to put on some glittery tight thing.' Meanwhile, I'm this fragile little girl playing a 16-year-old in a wig and a ton of makeup. It was like 'Toddlers & Tiaras.' I had fucking flippers."
I'm not sure what she means by fucking flippers, but it certainly seems like she had a rough time, which isn't an unusual experience for child stars. She went on to describe how the experience eroded her sense of self:
"I was told for so long what a girl is supposed to be from being on that show. I was made to look like someone that I wasn't, which probably caused some body dysmorphia because I had been made pretty every day for so long, and then when I wasn't on that show, it was like, Who the fuck am I?"
Luckily, she eventually figured out who she is. She's fucking Miley! And she's got the pink pits to prove it. I'm sure people will be skeptical of her claims, but this is honestly the most relatable I've ever found her. Who wouldn't go a little nuts after having a childhood experience like that? Look at Bieber, he's way worse.
2. Prince William and Princess Kate, because the paparazzi are being even creepier about their kids than usual.
For the record, they were cool with this picture.(Getty)
It's hard to feel bad for royalty in the year 2015. They're still profiting from a feudal system that's been irrelevant for generations, and they're insanely rich and beloved the world over because of the family they were born into. Then again, fame from an early age always comes with a dark side (see previous story).
For many years, the British royal family has been the subject of the most invasive paparazzi presence of anyone in the world. Now that Prince William and Princess Kate have two kids, they've gotten so concerned about it that they had their communications secretary draft an open letter to any and all tabloid photographers. The message: back the f**k off:
"A line has been crossed and any further escalation in tactics would represent a very real security risk.
All of this has left The Duke and Duchess concerned about their ability to provide a childhood for Prince George and Princess Charlotte that is free from harassment and surveillance."
You might think that a private couple who have their own communications secretary would be used to this kind of treatment, but the letter alleges that in recent months, it's gotten way worse. Photographers have been found hiding in the woods and fields near the royal home in Norfolk, and between sand dunes while Prince George, "their number one target," was playing with his grandmother. One even parked his car near a playground and hid in the trunk, which is the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Photographers have the whole family under constant surveillance, as well as the Middleton family. Prince George can't even have a playdate with other two-year-olds without paparazzi following them home afterward. Now, Kate and William have had enough. They're asking the tabloid industry to rein it in, and trying to educate the public about the sleazy means used to acquire these photos. Will it make a difference? Only time will tell. JK, of course it won't.
1. Chinese airline passengers who have to deal with parents letting their kid poop in the aisle.
You don't need to read Chinese to understand what's going on here. (Weibo via The Nanfang)
From a story about famous parents doing something responsible, here's a wild shift in direction to parents doing the craziest, most horrible thing I've seen all week. In two separate instances in the past nine days, parents have allowed their children to go to the bathroom on Chinese planes without actually going to the bathroom.
The first case, as seen in the photo above, happened last Saturday on a flight from Zhengzhou to Nantong, when a child relieved himself between the seats during the descent. The photo was posted to Weibo, China's answer to Facebook. It's a pretty gross image, but at least that kid waited until the flight was almost over, unlike in this next case.
This one happened just yesterday. These parents brought their child to the back of the plane to defecate… before the plane had even taken off. But if you think that's the most galling part of the story, you're not dreaming big enough. A passenger complained to the parents that both of the bathrooms on the plane were vacant at the time, and they responded that those bathrooms were too small. Only the open cabin of the plane was big enough for a small child to poop in.
Please remember this story the next time you encounter obnoxious parents. It could always be worse.
Hailee Steinfeld. We loved her when she was nominated for an Oscar at age 14 for True Grit. We loved her when she became friends with Taylor Swift. But did we ever stop and ask who Hailee Steinfeld loves? Herself. The music video for "Love Myself" came out today, and it's full of crop tops and New York City street dancing, just as you would hope from a T-Swift contemporary. And the song itself is as empowering as it is definitely about masturbation.
Today, The Donald Trump spent the day in court. He was surprisingly not there to declare bankruptcy again, but in the jury box.
Yup, Republican Presidential Candidate/insult comic Donald Trump reported for jury duty in New York City. He arrived at a courthouse in Lower Manhattan and was greeted by photographers before joining 75 of his fellow potential jurors in the jury room. What a fine, upstanding citizen — doing what is expected of him, complying with his civic obligation, only after being fined $250 for failing to report multiple times in recent years.
This is an exciting "Celebrities: they're just like us!" moment, because the job of being on a jury of peers is to quite literally be just like us. However, it is insulting to his fellow jurors and to humanity as a whole to be technically classified as "his peers."
While the paparazzi and the presidential campaign would make it seem like Trump did not have the regular ole jury duty experience, a secret snapshot (or should I say, "Snapchat"?) caught Trump with his eyes glazed over next to a girl wearing earphones — just as bored as everyone else.
A Snapchatter snuck a snap of the Trumpus resting his eyes, dreaming of ruining the American Dream for immigrants.
There is no nudity or sexual contact in this video, but we wouldn't describe it as "safe for work."
https://youtu.be/wkfFZnK5W9s
There really is something out there for everyone, but if a dildo that shoots out gelatin eggs isn't for you, then hopefully you're okay after watching that video. Perhaps you're discovering something about yourself you would never have dreamed of? Or just that you can still be deeply unsettled by something! Either way, Vice interviewed the maker of these "oviposters," and he seems even more interesting than his devices:
How did you get involved in all this stuff?
I had tried everything else: I had owned a restaurant and managed many other businesses and had many successes. However, in all of my jobs I would work my way up to the top only to find a wall waiting for me there. I'm ambitious, and though I don't consider myself greedy, I always wanted to push myself for more independence and freedom to do the things I wanted to do.
And freedom is helping people insert eggs into themselves for sexual gratification?
Let's face it, there are three things that will always sell: Food, death, and sex. I tried food service and decided after managing three restaurants and owning one that it was the same thing, day in and day out, and it didn't look like that was going to change much. Death didn't really interest me. I wanted something more fun. Something that breaks the monotony of people's days and makes them spit out their coffee when you tell them what you do.
He's just like us! Trying to get away from the boring day-to-day work cycle with egg-shooting rubber dicks. He also talks a bit about why people are into this at all:
There are different perspectives of everything, and Ovipositors are no exception. Many like to envision an alien creature that wants its eggs inside you. It can be a little intimidating or off-putting to those who do not fantasize about being the willing or unwilling host of alien beings inside them. It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.
I wouldn't describe "getting wet" as what I'm feeling, though it is blurring the lines of my humanity.
Expect to see this on some weird bestiality site in a few days. (via YouTube)
Jeannine Wilkerling, the German pole dance artist, posted an exclusive preview of new choreography last week. It's actually a duet piece, featuring Jeannine's brother and his feline protégé. It's an excellent work of modern dance. They gyrate in perfect synchronicity, reflecting the rhythm of modern life. It's provocative, it's sublime, it's erotic, and it's art, dammit! Yeah, overall, it's a pretty great cat vid.
Three years ago, Zeus (pictured above) had to be re-homed by his owners Ben and Melody when they went on a military assignment in South Korea. While away, they were informed that Zeus had died. Although this was very sad news, it ended up being untrue.
Ben and Melody moved to Washington after returning from South Korea, and were very surprised to get a call from the Banfield Pet Hospital, saying that Zeus was found in the woods in South Carolina. He was alive! And not even from any Pet Cemetery black magic!
Since Zeus was sick with heartworm (don't worry, it's totally treatable), he couldn't fly across the country, so a kind soul from the pet hospital volunteered to drive him. The reunion was tearful and might make you cry, even if you watch it on mute.
I would totally let this dog lick my face. (via YouTube)
Here's the video of the reunion, complete with a big card for Zeus even though dogs can't read, and lots of cameras to capture multiple angles of adorable dog kisses.
The Starbucks flavor factory are great at impressions: they're like the Bill Hader or Darrell Hammond of drinks. All these years, they have been mimicking the taste of pumpkin without including any of the real thing.
Now, perhaps in a U-Turn after introducing the S'mores Frappuccino and the Cookie Straw, Starbucks is getting a lil' bit healthier.
Peter Dukes, the heroic product manager who was involved in the development of the PSL twelve years ago, wrote a blog post on Starbucks' website about this exciting development. "After hearing from customers and partners about ingredients, we took another look at this beverage and why we created it so many years ago," he wrote, ' It was simple - espresso, perfectly steamed milk, warm fall spices with delicious flavor of pumpkin pie that reminds you of the cool, crisp days of autumn."
Much like a PSL lover does throughout their yoga class, Dukes returned to his *original intention* and is bringing the drink back and better than ever.
As we all know, Taylor Swift loves inviting women onstage at her concerts. It's basically what she's known for now. (On this tour, she's already brought out Cara Delevingne, Serena Williams, Lorde, Kendall Jenner, Serayah, Mariska Hargitay, the U.S. Women's National Soccer team, and so many, many more.) After seeing Joan Baez and Julia Roberts go onstage at Taylor Swift's Santa Clara concert on Saturday, writer Lara Marie Schoenhals had some spot-on ideas for who she could invite next.
What is it with white whales and their intoxicating elusiveness? Wherever there are white whales, there always seem to be obsessed dudes pursuing them. Such is the case of Migaloo, whose movements are tracked on Facebook pages and Twitter accounts by adoring fans just as devotedly as the scientists trying to track him at see. On August 10, a very white whale was spotted off the Gold Coast of Australia. "It is Migaloo," said one of his most avid trackers, chief scientist and executive director of the Pacific Whale Foundation Greg Kaufman. "It is a perfect match, based on the lateral body shots and the dorsal fin," he told Mashable.
Other scientists caution that this might just be a very pale whale. Specifically, it might be Migaloo, Jr, a smaller and younger whale who may or may not be related to Migaloo and who is probably not a true albino, due to a small but growing dark spot on his tail.
That's according to Trevor Long, director of marine science at Sea World, and Oskar Peterson of the White Whale Research Center (not to mention the official Migaloo Twitter). They say Migaloo should be 13 to 14 meters long, whereas this one is roughly 9 to 10 meters, according to their analysis of the photograph.
Kaufman says that people often overestimate Migaloo's size because of his mythic status (13 to 14 meters is indeed smaller than the average humpback), and that once a DNA sample he sent in last month is analyzed, he'll be vindicated. Meanwhile, you can track all potential Migaloo, Migaloo Jr, and white whale sightings on the @Migaloo1 Twitter account.
Don't come crying to us when you can't un-see this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2pSK3RDCp4
As a connoisseur of gross body stuff on YouTube, this still left me shaken. Something about the way the doctor is slowly screwing it out in circles, just twisting and twisting. But I also couldn't look away! I had to see it come out, or live forever unsatisfied. Watching disgusting videos on the Internet is about catharsis. There has to be a pay-off. Yet, when it happened, I knew I'd never be the same...
Shout out to Worm Lip though, for wearing pretty good make-up to this operation. If I even have a cough, everything about my personal grooming habits goes to sh*t immediately. She had a living creature burrowing into her face, and she still took the time to do a smoky eye! Hopefully, her mouth will soon be getting the same loving treatment now that it's sans maggot. Now: let's go wash our brains.
Rats—they're a lot like us, in that they're willing to go to weird lengths to get into apartment units in big cities.
One of my least favorite urban myths is the urban myth that rats in your toilet is an urban myth. National Geographic is here to prove to you that not only does it happen, it's disturbingly feasible for a determined rodent to find its way into your house in the most germ-spreading, butt-biting way possible.
Madeline Stuart, an 18-year-old Australian model with Down syndrome, will be the second model with the condition to walk the runaway at the annual event.
Madeline Stuart will be walking the runway on September 13th with the FTL Moda label, in association with the Christopher Reeve Foundation, an organization dedicated to finding treatment for people with spinal cord injuries and neurological disorders. Even through the news brought Stuart a lot of attention, she was already pretty big before it happened; she's sponsored by a major accessories brand, she has a contract with a major active wear brand, and she has over 430,000 Facebook likes. This will hopefully get her a bit more mainstream cred, however, in addition to helping increase visibility for artists with Down syndrome. She made the announcement on her Instagram last week:
A photo posted by Madeline Stuart (@madelinesmodelling_) on
Jamie Brewer, of American Horror Story fame, was the first model with Down syndrome to walk the NYFW runway in February (there are two NYFWs a year). I'm not cool enough to go to Fashion Week, but let's hope this leads to more exposure for models like Stuart and Brewer. Yasssss kween (I'm so sorry; I don't know what came over me).
Oh, and he was also free soloing, which means that he had zero safety gear attaching him to the line. Please enjoy this video/free anxiety attack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzrI8BeOw_0
Earlier this month crazy brave person Spencer Seabrooke broke the world-record for slacklining, the activity-sport-thing that's sort of like tightrope walking, but on a webbed slack line that has a bit more give than a tightrope. Seabrooke broke the record by walking for 64 meters while 290 meters above ground (that's about 209 feet across and almost 1000 feet above ground, for my fellow Americans who feel too lazy to think about conversions right now). And he did it without any safety gear, which made his fall right at the start all that much more terrifying.
Congratulations, Spencer. I am glad that we are all celebrating your achievement and not trying to find your bones.
