Halle Berry, who claims to be 49 but stopped aging about 15 years ago, finally caved and joined both Instagram and Twitter.

Like other celebrities before her, Berry's first Instagram promises that her account will be an inside look at her world. Also, she's definitely topless in the picture.

Hi everyone. Welcome! Today is a very exciting day for me... I'm looking forward to sharing our world through images that reflect my emotions and perceptions. I am in awe of photography and its ability to capture and reflect this extraordinary world that we live in. I'm excited to share with you my love of nature, the arts, fashion and much more in the hopes that the images will inspire, promote conversation and bring you joy. ❤ Halle

A close analysis of the image suggests that Berry is standing in a forest of sorts while wearing multiple bracelets. Her caption supports this assumption, since Berry wrote, "I'm excited to share with you my love of nature."

Berry's first Instagram has already completed her three-fold goal with her hair (it's inspiringly long and well-highlighted), the scenes from outside (save nature so Berry can look pretty in it), and nudity (joy!). 

Moms and teenage daughters are traditionally at odds when it comes to make-up (e.g. "Don't you dare leave the house with black lipstick on, missy"). And in this BuzzFeed video, in which moms put on their daughter's makeup for them, that stereotype isn't exactly upended. One mom points out that her daughter has stolen her makeup and ruined it; another daughter freaks out because her mom refuses to use blue eye shadow on her.

They still all look good in the end, because they have, you know, youth.

Weddings have always brought unexpected people together, but that might be an understatement when it comes to newlyweds Matthew and Sarah Oke. The couple was on their way to say their vows and stopped to take a few pictures at Lucy's Gully in Taranaki, New Zealand. At the same time, a New Zealand Black Power gang who were completing a hikoi—a Māori march to pay respect to the dead—were passing by. Photographer Rebecca Inns snapped this photograph and uploaded it to her Facebook with this statement:

For those asking how the photo came about….
We were up at Lucy's Gully photographing with the bridal party, the rain had just cleared and we were enjoying a lovely sunny wedding shoot. As we headed back to the cars we came across a very full car-park and the guys were there as part of a hikoi around the mountain to pay respects to those passed away. It was going to take a while to get our cars out and Jordan asked if it would be OK to include them in a wedding photo. They were really accommodating and had a discussion among themselves and after some discussion they decided that it would be fine… this is the result. 

We had planned to keep the image for the bride and groom, after another image taken by Pat Wipani went viral we were given permission to share this one. 

Totally random, totally unplanned and totally unique! 

Jordan, who asked if the group would pose for the photo, is Inns's husband. The groom in the photograph, Matthew Oke, commented on Inns's photograph on Facebook to thank all the well-wishers from the around the world who saw the photograph after it went viral.

Sarah and I would like to saw a huge thanks to everyone who has congratulated us and wished us a happy marriage. We had the best day of our lives on Saturday and for many reasons will never forget it.

Black Power has been a prominent gang in New Zealand since 1970. They were inspired by the Black Power movement in the United States, and most members are Māori and Polynesian.

The new Mrs. Sarah Oke told the New Zealand Herald of her experience:

The guys in the photo were so respectful and very kind. They congratulated us and told me how beautiful I looked. Was a very cool experience and something we will share with our children.

Looks like It is safe to say that this wedding picture turned out a lot better than these did.

Apparently, there are men out there who don't believe that female sports fans exist—as if you need testicles to understand games that children routinely play. One woman was being aggressively pursued via text by a guy (who she met on a dating app) trying to challenge her on her baseball knowledge, and she came back with the perfect response:

As this woman wrote in a letter to Uproxx:

When meeting or dating guys it’s common for them to attempt to quiz women to test if they “really” are sports fans. This guy was someone I met off of a dating app, we had started texting & he asked me that question. It seemed pretty condescending plus it was something SO basic it was kind of insulting. Instead of responding with the teams (first instinct) or ignoring, I decided to have a little fun. I love baseball & I love puns, so at the very least I knew I would make myself laugh. He STILL hasn’t responded. That said I don’t know if I would either at this point.

She's a knowledgeable baseball fan and a kickass punner. And that guy? He Sox. (Ok, she may be batter at baseball puns than I am.)

Related: Tennis's #1 star makes comments about female players that make him look like a piece of #2.

Khloé Kardashian has "never seen a white penis," she says. Look, that's just a fact: she said that. It has to be reported. Khloé Kardashian has never seen a white penis. Allegedly. According to her. The proof comes from an upcoming trailer for Kocktails with Khloé:

The guest is Pauly Shore, who, being a real edgy 90s comedian, brings up how the Kardashians have frequently dated black men. This prompted Khloé to bring up this factoid and challenge Shore to be the first. "If you would like to show me yours," she says, to Pauly Shore, "I would like to see it. I have never seen one though."

Anyway, there's a good quotation for the "Personal Life" section of Khloé's Wikipedia page. This has been yet another Kardashian article that you clicked on.

Photographer Greg Murray knows what the Internet wants to see, and it is not another think piece about your favorite presidential candidate. The 34-year-old photographer has been snapping photos of dogs eating peanut butter (or at least trying their very best to eat peanut butter) and uploading them to his Instagram account. 

Murray plans on taking the pictures and turning them into a book called For the Love of Peanut Butter. To raise money for the creation of the book, Murray created a Kickstarter page. Although he has already raised more than enough money to get the book made, it might be worth donating just for the rewards:

Pledge $300 or more

 7 backers Limited (8 left of 15)

Get your dog photographed and in the book! Must come to the studio in Cleveland, Ohio on an agreed upon day and time. Includes a photo of your dog enjoying peanut butter being featured in the book and a signed copy of the book once it's released. Although it hasn't happened to me yet, if your dog is not able to be photographed at the studio because it doesn't stay still or any other factors, your money will be refunded.

Your pup could be immortalized licking peanut butter off its face like these dogs!

 

Snapped some photos of Bernie Kosar today for the book! For more info, click the link in my profile! #dogsofinstagram #ruffpost

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Mar 21, 2016 at 1:56pm PDT

 

More PB please! Kingston is up for adoption through R.E.A.L. Rottweiler Rescue in Northeast Ohio!

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Mar 2, 2016 at 5:31am PST

 

Peanut butter....

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Feb 5, 2016 at 4:37am PST

 

Pea....nut....butter!!!!! - Carmela

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Feb 26, 2016 at 12:52pm PST

Murray is well on his way to his goal of having 100 photographs of dogs enjoying peanut butter. So far he has 47 photos picked out for the book, and a long waiting list of dog models who are ready want to featured. 

 

"Is that peanut butter on your tongue?"

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Mar 2, 2016 at 3:24pm PST

 

Huckleberry. Reserve your "For The Love of Peanut Butter" photo book today using the link above in our bio!

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Mar 29, 2016 at 1:32pm PDT

 

This girl cracks me up, so fun to work with! @nitwitts

A photo posted by Greg Murray (@clegreg) on Mar 18, 2016 at 4:38pm PDT

Although many breeds will be featured in the book, Murray wants to focus on mixed-breed dogs and rescue dogs. For the Love of Peanut Butter is expected to be out in 2017, but you can scroll through Murray's Instagram going "AWW!" right now. 

You might remember Viennetta, the swirly layered ice-cream cake. It's apparently difficult to find in the US these days, but you don't need to eat it to enjoy it anyway—all you need to do is watch this assembly-line video of it being made. Ooh at the rippling layers of ice cream, ahh at the lines of fudge, and let your brain's never-ending noise be dulled into a pleasant purr (at least until your anxiety kicks in again).

Yes, this video is a few years old, but it's also underseen. And it's more hypnotic than Hypnotoad:

WAVE 3 meteorologist Lauren Jones apparently managed to go through one full week free of body-shaming. According to a post by Jones' co-anchor John Boel, the pregnant weatherperson appeared not to receive any hateful comments about her baby weight gain from their followers on Facebook for seven days. And yes, that's a milestone.

In the post above, Boel said it was "a new record" for Jones, who continued to work while pregnant. Many users showed their appreciation for Jones in the comments section. One person said: "Someone actually was mean about her gaining weight because she is pregnant?!?!?! I'm sorry but that's called a moron. People are so idiotic. She looks fabulous!!!"

According to a screen-grab by Cosmopolitan, other people presumably wanted to end Jones' winning streak, ridiculing the outfit she's wearing in the Facebook photo (the negative comments appear to have since been deleted). Instead of ignoring these online trolls, Jones responds back to them and kills them with kindness each time. 

Betty Jones: I liked it better when "expecting" women somewhat covered their bellys...with appropriate clothing...
Lauren Jones: I'm not quite sure what you're implying here...

Deborah Koch Asbury: Maybe a different dress may help.

Lauren Jones: Deborah, I'm gaining weight so quickly with this baby growing inside of me I don't have enough time, money, or energy to buy new maternity clothes that others approve of. I'm saving my money for the baby, not myself. So unfortunately some of my clothes are form fitting. I apologize if you don't approve.

There are many body positivity campaigns out there, but somehow people always find it in their cold little hearts to publicly criticize folks for the way their bodies look.​

Seriously, its 2016 and people still body-shame celebrities, people that look like celebrities, and even pregnant women. Next thing you know people are going to shame ridiculous body features like arm hair or something. Wait, they already do that. Sighs.

Some people watch movies for the story, or the actors's performances, some are fans of cinematography or score. For others though, all that stuff is just what happens around the most important part of the film—the stunts. Here, presented in chronological order, are 14 of the most dangerous (at times almost stupidly so) stunts ever attempted in film history. Appreciate the skill and craftsmanship of these stuntpeople and their coordinators—and appreciate the fact that you will probably never come this close to breaking all your bones or losing your teeth at work. Unless you do something cool, but you get the point.

1. Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928)—the house falls down.

In this iconic stunt/gag, comic legend Buster Keaton leans over to look at something on the ground and barely misses getting crushed when the whole front of a house falls on top of him. Luckily, there's a window that lines up exactly where he's standing, so he emerges unscathed. In reality, the only real preparation made for the stunt was a nail in the ground marking where he should stand. There was no real margin for error, save the two inches on either side of him the window hole provided. If anything had gone wrong, Keaton would have been crushed by the two-ton wall.

2. Stagecoach (1939)—horse jumping.

Stuntperson Yakima Canutt is in the Stuntperson Hall of Fame (yes, there is one, sort of, and you can see it here) for his groundbreaking and incredibly daring stunt in this 1936 film. In it, Yakima jumps from one moving horse onto another moving horse, then gets "shot" and falls to the ground between the horses, which continue to stampede past him, until eventually the stagecoach itself passes over him. After the stunt was over, Canutt rushed over to director John Ford to make sure it was captured. Ford reportedly said that even if they hadn't, he'd "never shoot that again." This was back before safety had been invented.

3. Ben Hur (1959)—the chariot race.

This one scene in the iconic Roman epic took 10 weeks to shoot and cost about $4 million (a quarter of the whole budget). YakimaCanutt, that same veteran stuntperson from Stagecoach was the stunt coordinator for Ben Hur. Canutt orchestrated all the incredible stunts in the race and trained the drivers, who, for the most part, were the movie's actual actors.

Canutt's son Joe (also in that Stuntperson Hall of Fame) did a stunt where one chariot flips over a wrecked chariot in its path. If you watch the clip, it's the part where you involuntarily say "holy s**t!" Allegedly, Joe couldn't hear his father yelling "Too fast!" while he was driving the horses, and his chariot bounced hard upon landing, flipping Joe over the front and between two horses. Joe instinctively grabbed the cross-bar on the chariot, so he didn't fall under the horses hooves, but he was dragged for a few feet. Fortunately, a trip to the hospital for four stitches in his chin was all that accident required. What a pro.

​4. Bullitt (1968)—this insane car chase.

If this scene in Bullitt looks unsafe, rest assured that in reality, it actually was pretty unsafe. One camera and one car were destroyed completely (neither was planned). According to Jalopnik, despite the fact that Steve McQueen got a lot of attention for driving in this scene, in actuality, he only drove for about 10 percent of it. The epic car chase finally concluded when an out-of-control car (manned by dummies, not stunt drivers) accidentally drove into a set, resulting in a huge fire. Thanks to the wonders of editing, though, the gaffe was made to look intentional. In fact, editor Frank P. Keller won the Oscar for Best Film Editing in 1969 for Bullitt.

5. The French Connection (1971)—yet another insane car chase.

Get ready for another wildly dangerous car chase scene. In 1972, The French Connection won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director (William Friedkin), and Best Actor (Gene Hackman), and yet no Oscar for Best Not-Quite-Legally-Filmed Car Chase. In the movie, Jimmy Doyle (Hackman) is driving underneath the tracks of an elevated train, trying to catch a man onboard that train. According to IMDB:

The car chase was filmed without obtaining the proper permits from the city. Members of the NYPD's tactical force helped control traffic. But most of the control was achieved by the assistant directors with the help of off-duty NYPD officers, many of whom had been involved in the actual case. The assistant directors, under the supervision of Terence A. Donnelly, cleared traffic for approximately five blocks in each direction. Permission was given to literally control the traffic signals on those streets where they ran the chase car. Even so, in many instances, they illegally continued the chase into sections with no traffic control, where they actually had to evade real traffic and pedestrians. Many of the (near) collisions in the movie were therefore real and not planned (with the exception of the near-miss of the lady with the baby carriage, which was carefully rehearsed). A flashing police light was placed on top of the car to warn bystanders. A camera was mounted on the car's bumper for the shots from the car's point-of-view. Hackman did some of the driving but the extremely dangerous stunts were performed by Bill Hickman, with Friedkin filming from the backseat. Friedkin operated the camera himself because the other camera operators were married with children and he was not.

6. Zombie (originally released in Italy as Zombi 2) (1979)—film history's greatest "zombie versus shark" scene.

In the most famous scene from what is arguably horror director Lucio Fulci's most famous movie, a zombie fights an actual tiger shark. Underwater, not on land, where he'd at least have the upper hand. Allegedly, the actor who was supposed to play the zombie didn't show up on the day of shooting, so the shark's trainer (do you think the shark knew it had a "trainer"?) had to fill in for him instead. The scene was shot in a large salt water tank, and the shark was fed a lot of horse meat and sedatives before filming. But still. Here is a human, dressed as a zombie, wrestling with a shark.

7. Live and Let Die (1973)—the crocodile escape.

You can be sure of three things in every James Bond movie: men will be dapper, women will somehow be mistreated and disrespected, and stunts will be awesome. In Live and Let Die, our man Bond (Roger Moore) is put on a small sandbar in the middle of crocodile-infested waters. He escapes by using the crocodiles as stepping stones to make his way to safety. The crocodiles, for the most part, don't seem especially pleased about this plan. The stunt was performed by the owner of the crocodile ranch at which the scene was filmed, Ross Kananga. He was reportedly paid $60,000 in 1973 dollars, which still doesn't sound like enough. As Kananga explained:

Something like that is almost impossible to do. So, I had to do it six times before I got it right. I fell five times. The film company kept sending to London for more clothes. The crocs were chewing off everything when I hit the water, including shoes. I received 193 stitches on my leg and face.

Here's a behind-the-scenes video of each of Kananga's attempts.

8. The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)—A car does a barrel roll.

Another year, another Bond movie (same Bond, though) and another amazing stunt. And according to Jalopnik, the 270 degree corkscrew barrel roll the car makes was actually the first stunt extensively modeled on a computer. This was before computers could just do the stunts themselves, though.

9. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)—caught between a truck and a hard place.

This stunt was actually based on the famous Yakima Canutt stunt in Stagecoach, only in this case it was Indiana Jones being dragged under a moving truck (you can see the stunt at about the six and half minute mark in the video). Although Harrison Ford was known for wanting to do all his own stunts, he wisely let this one be handled by stuntperson Terry Leonard. They used a pre-dug ditch to give Leonard more room under the truck, but he was under a moving truck, so any error could have been fatal. Still, good on you, Terry, because the stunt is sick.

10. Roar (1981)—basically the entire movie and also the actors' real home lives.

What happens in Roar may not technically be what you'd technically call a "stunt," everything that happens is technically very dangerous. This fricking GEM of a movie was released in 1981 but was never available in the U.S. until Drafthouse Films released it in 2015, and it got popular for being quite possibly the most dangerous movie ever made. To make Roar, producer-director Noel Marshall (known for The Exorcist), his then-wife Tippi Hedren (she of The Birds fame) and their children, including a teenaged Melanie Griffith, lived with 150 lions, tigers, cheetahs and jaguars. For 11 years. The movie's tagline is "No animals were harmed in the making of this movie. 70 members of the cast and crew were." That wasn't a joke. In the two years of production, cinematographer Jan de Bont was scalped and needed 220 stitches; Melanie Griffith was mauled by a lion, leaving her with injuries that required facial reconstructive surgery; Tippi Hedren broke a leg and suffered numerous scalp wounds (those big cats sure do like to put humans' heads in their mouths); and Marshall got hurt so many times he ended up in the hospital with gangrene. You have to see this movie.

11. Police Story (1985)—the pole slide.

Jackie Chan, who always does his own stunts, claims that this was one of his to ten favorite stunts. In his own words:

The only way to get down from my perch in time to do my policeman's duty is to take a flying leap into the air, grab a hold of a pole wrapped in twinkling Christmas lights, and slide a hundred feet to the ground—through a glass-and-wood partition, onto the hard marble tile. We had to do this in one take, so I crossed my fingers and prayed that I'd hit the stunt the first time (and that I'd hit the ground softly). I made my jump, grabbed the pole, and watched the twinkling lights crack and pop all the way down, in an explosion of shattering glass and electrical sparks. Then I hit the glass. And then I hit the floor. Somehow I managed to survive with a collection of ugly bruises…and second-degree burns on the skin of my fingers and palms.

12. Police Story 3: Supercop (1992)—the bike jump.

Another Jackie Chan movie, but this time it's actor/stuntperson Michelle Yeoh (probably most well-known from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) who steals the scene. She explains:

I remember promoting one of my movies in America and during the Q&A someone would say... In "SuperCop" where I do this jump from the bike onto the train, this guy said: "Wow, the bluescreen in Hong Kong is actually quite amazing!" and I looked at my director and went: "Which part was the bluescreen? Where was that? How come I didn't know about it?" They were convinced that, you know... it can't... it's not possible. Why would you DO something like that? It's good that it's not necessary nowadays to do that, because in that particular scene, when I had one of my stunt boys doing it, he crashed off the boxes at the other end and ended up in the hospital with a broken leg.

Yeoh has since said of the scene, "I must have been crazy."

13. The Dark Knight (2008)—the semi truck flip.

For this impressive feat, director Christopher Nolan and his crew embedded a huge piston into the street to give the truck the push upward it needed to flip over. You'd think they'd use some kind of truck autopilot, but no—stuntperson Jim Wilkey was riding in the front seat of the truck the whole time (luckily behind reinforced glass). Ah, all in a day's work.

14. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011)—the Burj Khalifa scene.

Tom Cruise is known for doing most of his own stunts, and this one is no exception. In this scene, his character Ethan Hunt has to scale Dubai's Burj Khalifa—the tallest skyscraper in the world. To his credit, Cruise, attached by thin safety wires that were digitally removed in post-production, got out there and climbed the shit out of this insane building. (Not the whole thing, but still.) Forget doing the stunt, even watching it is not for the faint-hearted.

Ashton Kutcher's "punking" days are behind him, and he's now living the life dedicated to Peek-A-Boo and pacifiers. Wednesday night on The Late Late Show with James Corden, Kutcher, his That 70s Show co-star Danny Masterson, and Corden formed the ultimate Dad Band to sing about fatherhood. 

Complete with Baby Bjorns and funky stroller choreography, this is a great glimpse into what One Direction will be like if they're still together by the time they all join Louis and have children.  

During a chat mother Shalee Ellis had in January with her six-year-old daughter Layla, Layla revealed that her tiny head holds a very enlightened mind. As BuzzFeed reported, the conversation (that Shalee only recently shared on Facebook) was regarding the fact that Layla's father and Shalee's wife is transitioning into a woman.

Shalee was checking in to see how Layla felt about Mallory's transition. Layla sees nothing out of the ordinary with the whole situation, which touched Shalee so much she started filming the conversation halfway through.

"How does that make you feel?"

Layla just shouts, "GOOD!" like only a precious child can in what otherwise might be considered a complicated situation. Battling her daughter in competition for most adorable reaction is Mallory's wife, Shalee. That woman is what one might call an incredibly supportive partner. "We have decided to help daddy become the person his brain and his heart tells him that he is."

Since the video was recorded, Layla has continued to be cool about Mallory's transition, and the couple's younger child is no doubt also on board.

Many other people are likewise supporting Mallory and Shalee (or Team Shallory, as they're Facebook page describes them.) Here are some of the best responses:

Gosh this is the first time I watched this and I kind of want a shirt that says "daddy is a HER". Love you guys. I love how you were (as common sense tells us...) simple but factual with her to explain something that could get pretty complicated! I've heard people say "idk what to say to THAT!". It makes me cringe and want to tell them "lady your kid needs an explanation...". Great job as always! (Not that you need confirmation; and not that I have it together myself lol)

I love when she's like, "yuh.." like you just asked a ridiculous question. LOL She's a cutie pie.

Shalee, meanwhile, is still amazed at how accepting her little girl is.

Ugh I just watched this again and am teary eyed.

Now Shalee should film herself talking about Mallory's transition with her two-year-old son. Though her son's response may go more like "CHEERIOS?"

During a March 30 televised town hall event, Donald Trump told MSNBC host Chris Matthews that he believes “there has to be some form of punishment” for women who have abortions, if the procedure were to become illegal. Trump also said he's in favor of banning abortion in the United States, even though that would potentially lead to an increase in illegally performed or self-induced abortions.

But then, just hours later, Trump apparently changed his mind and said that only the person performing the abortion should be subject to punishment. After he received strong criticism from both the left and the right for those remarks, his campaign issued the following statement:

If Congress were to pass legislation making abortion illegal and the federal courts upheld this legislation, or any state were permitted to ban abortion under state and federal law, the doctor or any other person performing this illegal act upon a woman would be held legally responsible, not the woman. The woman is a victim in this case as is the life in her womb. My position has not changed—like Ronald Reagan, I am pro-life with exceptions.

And as always, Twitter had something to say about it all. Some people felt that the mere existence of Trump is punishment in and of itself.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

But others pointed out that the Republican presidential hopeful was saying that the punishment would only be applicable should abortion ever become illegal, and therefore just the consequence for committing a crime.

14.

15.

Either way, it's clear that Trump's got a real soft spot for women.

(Design by Keith Estiler)

Susan Sarandon isn't afraid to let people know she's feeling the Bern, so much so that she told MSNBC that she couldn't bring herself to vote for Hillary Clinton if the former Secretary of State ends up as the Democratic party's 2016 nominee. This sparked a bit of controversy among her female celebrity friends, with Jamie Lee Curtis respectfully disagreeing on Twitter.

Sarandon responded, clarifying that she'd rather drive off a cliff with Geena Davis than vote for Trump.

Debra Messing, a Hillary supporter who also saw Sarandon's dismissal of Clinton as a vote for Trump, jumped in to throw pitch black shade at Sarandon.

Kirstie Alley later joined the conversation to show her support of irreverent positivity.

Soon Sarandon and Messing were both on the defensive from media outlets misreporting what they'd said and Twitter users launching a backlash against them.

In between Messing's frantic, all-day Twitter defensive against her attackers, she also felt inclined to retweet a fact about cheese.

No one has won their argument, no one has learned anything (aside from that cheese is the most shoplifted item in Europe, which really is fantastic), everyone's only gotten angrier. In other words, Sarandon and Messing's debate truly represents this election cycle.

David Beckham, retired soccer player and husband of Posh Spice, is continuing his journey of transitioning into a human canvas with a newly added ankle tattoo featuring two classical-ish figures running under the cover of some drapey cloth.

Great new piece from Mark Mahoney at shamrock.... Always nice to sit and listen to marks conversation for 5 hours whilst watching him work... True artist @shamrocksocialclub

It's a work of art, just like David Beckham himself.

The tat joins the many, many others Beckham already carries around with him on a daily basis. 

Everywhere you look, there's a tattoo on David Beckham's body.

Nearly every inch of his body now has something on it.

Every tiny little inch of David Beckham. 

Since spawning children with Victoria, Beckham has added a few tribute tattoos to his four children which you aren't allowed to creepily gawk over because they're about his kids.

Apparently Harper is allowed to scribble on daddy 

I've always called Brooklyn ( Buster ) since the day he was born.... Love you Bust

Once upon a time, Beckham was a tat-free youth who didn't have a movie about him starring Keira Knightley.

Thankfully, those days are in the past.

Working retail is an often thankless job—working weekends, being on your feet for long hours, and dealing with the worst people humanity has to offer. On the subreddit Tales from Retail, retail workers come together to do something that is usually done the other way around: they complain about their customers, who might be at home complaining about them. The stories range from the infuriating to the absurd to the surprisingly heartwarming. 

1. User Veggiematic remembers when someone tried to return a drone that had flown away.

I work at an electronics retail store.

We have a different section specifically for returning and refunding items. Upon receiving the item, we must always as for the reason of return, and we must open the item, even if factory sealed.

I am V, my manager is M, and the customer is C.

V: Hi

C: Hi, I'd like to return this drone.

Our policy for drones is that they were non-refundable, but this policy was changed, as long as all products are in working condition, it can be accepted for return.

V: Okay, just a second sir.

I open the box. The manual, the remote, the batteries, and the package sealing is there. Everything that is there is supposed to be there except the drone itself isn't there. It's basically the entire package without the drone.

V: What's the reason for returning this item?

C: Oh, the drone flew away and it never came back. Can I get a refund for this?

Manager walks over, I'm still new to doing returns. I recently got out of training as a cashier, which means my manager is very closeby whenever I am doing returns because he has to authorize it and make sure I'm doing it right.

V: Um...

M: What's wrong?

C: Oh hi, so my drone flew away and it never came back. Can I get a refund?

M: Fuck no, what's wrong with you? Get out of my store.

Customer walks. I don't think he's even angry because there were no signs showing it. I died laughing because it was the first time I saw the manager swear to a customer.

Sometimes I love retail :)

2. SorryIAmAChampion was told that they should be shot... for greeting a customer in a friendly manner.

After racking up the years in customer service, I have perfected my bubbly, butter wouldn't melt in my mouthcustomer service persona. Retail smile? Check. Feigned empathy and concern towards rude customers? Check. However, I was not prepared for this encounter...

Now, I am naturally a morning person. Thus, my boss usually sticks me on super early opening shifts. I always warmly greet everyone, regardless of the time of day. I clearly was not prepared for the grouch (G).

Grouch walks in at 7 am.

Me: Good morning, ma'am! Retail smile How are--

G: PEOPLE LIKE YOU SHOULD BE SHOT.

Me: I'm sorry?? (Yes, I am Canadian and the word sorry is very near and dear to my heart.)

G: I am not a morning person and I DON'T WANT ANYONE TALKING TO ME BEFORE 12 PM! So, don't speak to me.

Me: Uh, okay... O.o

And off she went! Of course, I apologized profusely to the retail gods. What had I done to receive such hostility at 7 in the morning?! Some customers never fail to amuse me. Hehe.

3. Even honesty can't get you a refund from TravelingToaster. 

I was working a solo shift at the convenience store and a regular stopped in. We chatted for a few minutes and she asked for some items (Gatorade, water, sandwich and 2 bananas) to be put in a separate bag, which I soon found out was for one of the homeless people that regularly hung around the store.

After the customer left and gave the guy the bag, he waited until she left and came into the store. This exchange ensued:

Me: May I help you?

Him: In a sincere tone Yes, the woman that just left gave me this bag of items and I would like to return them.

Me: Are there any issues with what you received? I’m thinking along the lines of different flavors of Gatorade or another type of sandwich

Him: Yes, I want to return them for the cash so I can get beer instead.

At this I cocked my head to the side and pretended to think about it

Me: No, I can’t refund the money to you because you didn't originally purchase these items.

Him: I’m being honest, doesn’t that count for something?

Me: Not in this case, because she bought these so you can have them, not for you to turn back in for cash.

He leaves in an angry huff and tosses the bag against the window as he departs

I go outside to retrieve the bag and give it to one of the other homeless regulars that came in later that day that was appreciative for the sustenance

TLDR: Homeless person wants to return food items purchased by another customer so he can have cash for booze.

4. Sometimes customers aren't angry or spiteful, they are just freaking weird. Just ask Wrecklessheart. 

So, working yesterday morning at populardrugstorechain.

It's early so I'm the only cashier up front, so I'm at the very first register right near the front doors and the ATM.

A guy who comes in a few times a week to use the ATM, comes in. He's always seemed a bit strange.

Anyway, I'm just doing my thing, he's at the ATM and appears to be on the phone.

"Yeah yeah man, sounds like a good plan. Nah, I'm at populardrugstore right now grabbing some cash. What? Sorry man, I can't hear you, I'm on my banana phone."

This catches my attention and glance over... And do a double take.

He's literally talking... on a damn banana. A LITERAL BANANA. I had to do a double take to see if it was a phone shaped like a banana? No, it was an actual piece of fruit.

He continues to talk while grabbing his cash and walking down an aisle. I'm just flabbergasted.

When he left, he was eating the banana. LMAO.

5. According to captainzomb1e, even if something happens that is not your fault... it is still your fault if you work retail.

Another tale from the cafe/shop combo in my home town. This time I was working in the cafe, as a cashier and provider of sweet treats. Me = Me and IC = Ignorant customer.

Me: Usual retail spiel, how can I help you? Etc. Etc.
IC: A latte and a hot chocolate brownie, thanks
Me: Okay, your total is £x.xx. Also, the brownie is very hot, so give it a minute to cool down
IC: Okay, thanks.

She pays, takes her things and sits down. All is going well, I deliver her hot chocolate brownie, then I hear a shriek.

IC: Owww...breathes in through mouth Fuckin' stifled words I cannot distinguish

A couple of seconds pass

IC: while walking to the counter shouting That brownie was too hot! It scolded the inside of my fuckin' mouth. You didn't tell me they were going to be that hot!!!
Me: I'm sorr... she cuts in
IC: What are you doing to them?! You fuckin' idiot, you didn't tell me!
IC: even louder You haven't heard the last of this kid. What's your name? I'm going to call corporate, give me their number now!
Me: I'm Captain, but we don't have a corporate office, here's my managers number: [Redacted]. However, I did inform you that the hot chocolate brownie would be too hot to eat immediately. I'm sorry you burnt your mouth but I d...cut off again
IC: NO YOU DIDN'T! I'll make sure the likes of you are fired...Your manager will be hearing from my lawyer.

She leaves, while cussing all the way to the door. Fortunately, my manager always believes her employees first. The next day I was asked what happened, I told her what had happened and she believed me. That was all I heard about it, except my awesome manager shutting her down on the phone. I would concede that I forgot to warn her, but I know I did. God I love retail...

6. Grocery store worker optimusprimeminister became a pawn in a scheme for a man to get back at his wife, proving that customers are not just awful to retail workers, but to everyone.

I worked as a bagger at a small, family owned grocery store while I was in high school. One day a man came through the checkout with a full cart of groceries.

Me: "Paper or plastic?"

Customer: “I’d like double bagged paper and I’d like you to make each bag as heavy as you can.”

Me: "Sure thing!"

A bit of a strange request, sure, but anything that broke up the monotony of the day was welcomed. I managed to load his entire cart into three fairly heavy bags and bring them out to his car.

Customer: "In case you're wondering - I just had a fight with the wife and it's my turn to pick up the groceries."

Me: "Uh-huh."

Customer: "It's also her turn to unload the car."

7. Sometimes customers are just not smart. Kappakatiepi had to help a woman who spoke to an automated voice message for 15 minutes.

I work in customer service at a store that has a credit card program. Naturally, when the credit bills aren't paid; corporate will decline the card when a customer tries to use it. This leads me to my story; my front end manager sends me a call on the phone back at the service desk telling me that I am about to have a woman come back to yell at me because her card is declined. My manager also told me that they called corporate's financial department twice and they told the lady the same thing each time: her bill hadn't been paid. So the lady shows up at my counter and demands to use the courtesy corporate phone for customers. I nicely hand her the phone and tell her that it has an automated main menu to guide her to what corporate department representative she'd like to speak with. She ignored me and started yelling into the phone for 15 minutes about how angry she is. Eventually she goes, "YOU. TALK". and hands me the phone. I put the receiver to my ear to talk and I am cut off with "Press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish, 3 for more options". SHE RANTED TO THE MAIN MENU FOR 15 MINUTES. I page my manager because I had no idea how to handle the lady after I broke the news that she had just talked to a main menu for that whole time. She left angrily and I know have a great story to tell.

8. Weirdly enough, sometimes retail can bring out the best in people. Hail to the king bb did a good deed that was repaid by an even bigger good deed.

I work as a manager at a small chain of C-Stores (30ish locations)

I am putting away my main order of the week when a woman comes in asking for a nutrageous bar, I told her with a smile we had some right in front of the store, as I pointed right to a blank spot on the shelf. Turns out we had sold out over the weekend, and I had just broken this poor woman's heart and shattered her dreams with false hope. She had been searching relentlessly for weeks and couldn't find one anywhere. I apologized for the bad fortune and said I would order more straight away, the woman sighed, bowed her head and walked out of the store like a dejected puppy.

I turned back to the order, opened the tub and right on top was a brand new box of nutrageous bars. I tear open the box and vault over the counter like a bad ass cop sliding over a car hood, sprinting out the door like I had just clocked out. I caught up to her just as she starts to pull away from my store and from happiness, most likely on her way to jump off a bridge, hoping to find a nutrageous bar waiting for her in the next life. She turned and saw me lumbering towards her holding the candy bar like a newborn child I had just delivered into this world, I had never seen someone so happy over a candy, she runs to me like she was a veteran returning home from duty and running towards their children for that first swirling embrace. I tell her to have it on the house, and have a good day.

Then just now I get a call from my district manager demanding to know if I was the one who gave away a candy bar to a customer for free.

"Fuck." I think to myself, I do something nice for someone and this goddamn bitch calls my boss to tell on me.

So I tell my boss yeah it was me. He tells me that she called and was so happy with our company she would be choosing us for the local volunteer fire fighter appreciation gifts this year. $2,000 in gift cards $25 each for the volunteers. My boss says he is giving me a 10% commission for the gift cards. Minus the price of a nutrageous bar.

9. Sometimes diligent retail workers can even use their retail powers for good. Unaumbra recounts how they saved a girl's life by refusing a check.

I was working a late shift, and it was rather quiet. I had only been working at the store for only 5 months or so. A man came through my line, and he was about 6 foot tall covered in Tattoos, and not the nicely made tattoos you see from a good tattoo shop I mean the kind that looks like he had them done in the cellar of a seedy biker bar type. He was heavy built, and wore a leather biker vest. He did not seem the type to feel guilty about shanking you on the street. He bought a few items, but had beer. I of course ID him, and he shows it to me, and I total everything. He pulls out a check book, and writes a check. The check had a basket of kittens on it, and this seemed like one of those facebook posts of bikers look mean, but have a heart of gold type things. Well I look at the check his name is nowhere on the check. It has a girls name on it, and I tell him that I could not accept it because it is not his check, and does not have his name. He claims the girl is with him, and he would go get her real quick. He leaves, and left the check on the counter.

As soon as he is out of sight I call for a manager, and they take the check, and what I did not know was that about half an hour before an amber alert was released, and being the fact this was about 11 years ago very few people had SMS alerts for things like this, and only because our company is a certified safe place we receive faxes which had amber alerts, and such. The manager recognized the name, and contacted police. Minutes later we had a few cops show up, and they asked me what the guy looked like, and everything said. They even finger printed the stuff the guy was buying. Security gave them the footage of the guy, and were lucky to get the guys plate number. A few minutes later all the cops left, and I mean in a hurry.

Apparently the guy was spotted, and pulled over they found the girl tied up in the back of the SUV he was driving, and luckily she was not hurt. She was kidnapped from where she worked after school, and her co-worker called the cops when he got back from his break to find the place a mess, and her missing. The whole thing occured within an hour, and half time. She was taken to a local hospital where she was kept just in case over night. The man was of course arrested.

10. Sometimes working retail has its perks. Discord_dan met Bruce Willis while on the job.

A little backstory first: Back in 2009, I was having a lot of family issues at home, so I went to visit my mother's two sisters in Idaho, for a change of scenery. There's a resort there, owned at the time by a billionaire who also owns a line of gas stations that use a dinosaur for their logo. It's a very high end resort, drawing some of the nation's most rich and famous. Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Clint Eastwood, and many other people of that caliber visited and/or owned vacation homes there. I liked it so much, i decided to make the move long term, and found an apartment and a job as a baristo in a coffee shop (not S-Bucks). That's where the story starts...

It was about 8pm, and I remember it being either November or December, mostly because of all the snow. The shop closed at 9, and I was doing some cleaning ahead of time so I could get out of work at a decent hour. A man walked in, the ball cap on his head pulled down to cover his eyes, and his head down against the biting wind blowing in from the mountains. I greeted him, and when he looked up, I recognized him. I was told to act normal when a celebrity walks in, as they justifiably don't like being mobbed by fans out here.

I took his order, which I remember as 2 small lattes. He was alone, so I assumed he was in town with his wife and she was either at their vacation home or shopping at one of the many expensive shops there. The total came to $6.47 (It's funny: I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I remember the total of Bruce Willis' coffee order from 6 years ago). Growing up the son of an accountant with a strong desire (borderline obsessive sometimes) to gain my father's approval, I learned to do change in my head at lightning speed. Less than 2 seconds after seeing the $50 he was about to hand me, I told him his change would be $43.53. He paused, a little smirk on his face.

BW: Did you do that in your head? Me: Yes sir.

Bruce then puts the $50 back in his wallet and pulls out a $20 bill, two $1 bills, and three quarters, totaling $22.75 and asks me what the change is. I tell him $16.47. He proceeds to repeat this a few more times with different combinations of cash he has on him. I don't know if some combination of fatigue and jet lag put him in a condition where he found my petty math amusing, but he was having fun. I finally had to end it, since I still had stuff that needed to be done (cleaning the soft serve machine takes no less than 45 minutes).

Me: I have to get back to work, so I'll do one more. If I get it right, you have to tip me!

That last part was a joke obviously. He agrees and pulls out $72.45. Before he can move his eyes from the money to mine, I say it's $65.98.

BW: That's pretty cool
Me: ...

When you're 19 and Bruce Willis tells you something that you take for granted is cool, it tends to leave you speechless. I made his coffee, gave it to him, and wished him a good night. Before he left, he dropped $20 in the tip jar and told me I earned it. He was such a cool guy, lots of respect for him.

11. One thing's for sure—once you've lived that retail life, it's hard to get it out of your system. Dougtehgreat even helped a customer off the clock... in a different store.

I went shopping at a nearby competitor on my off-day. We have basically the same product, and I don't get a discount on the products that I needed because they're price-protected by the vendor.

While I was there, I thought I'd walk around their [certain] department. While I was looking at something, I hear an angry customer say, "God, you can never find anyone to help you here" and general grunting about needing help.

I turn around, apologize, and say I just got to work and hadn't put on my name badge yet.

I didn't realize that I didn't work there for the first 10 minutes helping him, and then felt too awkward to stop helping him. All told, I was with him for about 30 minutes and made an 800 dollar sale.

Who knows, maybe some of these heroes will get discovered at their retail jobs and finally make it out of the store.

Most celebrities put in years of hard work and serious training before their big breaks. Often, a role in a play or TV show gets them noticed. But sometimes, the springboard to stardom is due entirely to luck. Before they were household names for the world to judge and discuss, these celebrities got discovered entirely on accident. Considering how famous they are now, the circumstances of their break are astounding.

1. Pamela Anderson

Pamela Anderson was discovered because her face was put on the Jumbotron at a football game in Vancouver, British Columbia. She was wearing a Labatt Blue t-shirt, which landed her a modeling contract with the beer company. From there, she played a tool girl on Home Improvement, and then of course went on to star in her infamous role in Baywatch.

2. Mel Gibson

Long before he went on DUI rants about Jews, Gibson was a young actor in Australia who had little interest in film. He drove a friend to an audition, and had gotten in a bar fight the night before (he's always been an angry drunk). The director spotted his busted face and asked him to read for a part. The reason a rough face was desirable is because that movie was the original Mad Max. 

3. Harrison Ford

Harrison Ford had tried acting, and then quit to pursue carpentry so he could actually make money. When George Lucas began casting for Star Wars, he insisted on not using actors from his previous films. Ford had appeared in the Lucas film American Graffiti. A clever casting agent hired Ford to install a door where they were doing Star Wars auditions, in hopes that Lucas would notice him. It worked (the force can have a strong influence on the weak minded).

4. Charlize Theron

After a knee injury halted her ballet career in New York, Theron moved to LA to attempt acting. She was discovered by an agent while she was having an argument with a bank teller over cashing a check. That's it. She made a scene in a bank, and he put her in the movie Children of the Corn III. Many years later, she has an Oscar and got to not ghost Sean Penn. Not bad.

5. Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum began his career as a stripper in Florida (his experiences loosely influenced the Magic Mike films). A modeling agent spotted him on the street in Miami, which led to acting in music videos, commercials, and ultimately movies. Though he's now a family man, he still knows how to charm the ladies.

6. Ellen Pompeo

Ellen Pompeo was discovered by a casting agent while she was a bartender in New York. The agent liked her look, struck up a conversation, and she had an audition the next day. It landed her roles in commercials, which later led to acting in TV and film.

7. Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence was stopped on the street by a casting agent on her first trip to New York with her mom. She ended up doing a cold read for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cups commercial, and the casting agency told her it was the best they'd ever seen. The odds have since been ever in her favor.

8. Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt was discovered while he was a waiter. But not in New York or Los Angeles, and not as an actor or with any involvement in the arts. Pratt was a waiter at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company in Maui, and often slept on the beach with his buddies. He waited on a director, Rae Dawn Chong, who cast him in a horror movie she was directing. He stayed in LA afterwards, landing roles on TV shows Everwood and The O.C.

9. Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp, just like Mel Gibson, gave a friend a ride to an audition. The movie was the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, and the director noticed Depp. He read for a part and got the role. The friend he drove to the audition was Jackie Earle Haley, who after many years of watching his friend get super famous, recently played the part of Freddie Krueger in the 2010 reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Everything comes full circle.

10. Hulk Hogan

Hulk recently made a bunch of money suing Gawker over the release of his sex tape. But the entire reason he became a wrestler, and subsequently famous, is because he wanted to be a musician. He was the bassist in a band in Florida, and some wrestlers in the audience thought he'd make a good wrestler. 

11. Ashton Kutcher

Kutcher was discovered at the age of 19 while drinking underage at a bar near his alma mater, The University of Iowa. Like many other celebs, he was spotted by a modeling agent, and modeling later led to acting gigs. It also led to famously marrying Demi Moore, but ultimately settling down with Mila Kunis.

12. Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman was discovered in a Long Island pizza joint by a Revlon makeup agent who wanted her to model. She declined, and realized that she truly wanted to focus on acting. It worked, and just a few years later she landed a role in The Professional. After a detour in everyone's favorite first three episodes of Star Wars, she stuck the landing with an Oscar for her performance in Black Swan.

Hamilton may be Broadway's biggest hit, but not everyone is singing the praises of its casting calls. The show, which has one of the most diverse casts in Broadway history, is now under fire for being discriminatory after asking for "NON-WHITE" actors to audition

That backlash is despite the fact that they're clearly doing something right. Pretty much everyone in the world is obsessed with the hip-hop musical right now—from President Obama, who invited the cast to sing at the White House, to Beyoncé herself. 

The wording in the casting call caught the attention of civil rights attorney Randolph McLaughlin, who said that it did not comply with the New York City human rights law. He told CNN:

You cannot advertise showing that you have a preference for one racial group over another. As an artistic question – sure, he can cast whomever he wants to cast, but he has to give every actor eligible for the role an opportunity to try. 

Attorney says @HamiltonMusical violates city human rights law with 'non-white' casting call https://t.co/jhv5GTmZDxpic.twitter.com/8REjbl0UUW

— Lisa Fung (@lfung) March 30, 2016

The casting notice, which was approved by the Actor's Equity Association (the union that protects Broadway actors), has since been amended to be more inclusive. It now reads that, "Performers of all ethnic and racial backgrounds are encouraged to attend." Jeffrey Sellers, the head producer of Hamilton, stands by the wording of the original casting call. 

Hamilton' depicts the birth of our nation in a singular way. We will continue to cast the show with the same multicultural diversity that we have employed thus far.

Hamilton tells the story of our founding fathers using a diverse cast of actors, singers, and dancers. The show's creator and star, Lin Manuel-Miranda, purposely put people of color in these roles for a specific reason. In an interview with CNNE, he said that the cast was so diverse because he wanted to "eliminate any distance between the contemporary audience and the story." He went on to say, "We're trying to make the struggles of the people on that stage identifiable to our audience and the fact that our cast looks like our country helps with that."

Fans of the show took to Twitter to comment on the controversy.

PERSON: have u heard of hamilton
WHITE PERSON: wats that
PERSON: its cool, they cast POCs as the leads
WHITE PERSON: https://t.co/OlO0wFXAIN

— jomny sun (@jonnysun) March 30, 2016

This Hamilton story is funny because they said they were casting non white pp that's not discrimination that's fair warning.

— Racist Hamilton (@AaronSmarter) March 30, 2016

When your complaint is that Hamilton doesn't have white people, but you're silent about shows that are all white? Your bigotry is showing.

— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) March 30, 2016

Waiting for white people to realize that The Lion King has been casting black people for 19 YEARS pic.twitter.com/EjbSpUtDvL

— Blessedterns (@Blessedterns) March 31, 2016

To quote the show, it looks like people will "never be satisfied." 

It seems like the casting controversy will have no effect on ticket sales, since you pretty much have to sell a kidney to afford them. Although all ethnicities are welcome to attend the Hamilton audition, it might be best for white actors to sit this one out and allow people of color to play the roles as the creator intended.

PS: if you want to audition for Hamilton, the details are here. Good luck, you'll definitely get the part in the most popular show on Broadway.